{"id":1193,"date":"2023-05-17T22:31:41","date_gmt":"2023-05-18T03:31:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/?p=1193"},"modified":"2023-05-17T22:31:41","modified_gmt":"2023-05-18T03:31:41","slug":"trying-to-give-me-a-damn-heart-attack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/?p=1193","title":{"rendered":"Trying to give me a damn heart attack"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Listen. I’m just shitting around trying to delay going to bed. So I decide to look at my checking account. I just wrote a big check for the pool opening and of course paid C for cleaning — I just check sometimes, OK? And they changed their UI. Now it shows pending charges as RED. So when the page pops up my eye goes straight to THIS:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

WTF? I’M NEGATIVE MONEY? NEGATIVE MONEY? The overdraft fees gonna be more than that! I have great credit — I can’t remember the last time I overdrafted. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I’m going to die. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But no, they just changed the colors around. I’m fine. That’s just a pending withdrawal. There is money to cover it. WTF, Wells Fargo? I almost DIED. I used to be poor, Wells Fargo! You’re giving me poverty flashbacks over here. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In other news, Louie found a frog in the house. And he wanted to eat it. I saw him stalking something with the intense butt wiggle. I had to check to see what it was. Demon? Wood Roach? What are you doing? It looked like trash from my spot in the kitchen until IT JUMPED. It was a frog. It came in in my watering can. And now it’s hopping on all the chair legs under the table as I try to catch it while Louie ties to eat it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband came to the rescue. Thank you, husband. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, I’m FREAKING OUT about the poison ivy in the pool rocks. I can’t handle it. I sprayed it with the $100 round up on Sunday and it’s not dead. NOTHING IS DEAD. How am I gonna get rid of it? I can’t weed eat poison ivy, I’ll be covered in it! As will the rocks and it’ll get on me every time I’m out there barefoot which I am BECAUSE IT’S A POOL. I can’t handle this. I don’t even want to get out my pool stuff. Cause there’s poison ivy! And I thought about a flame thrower but that will disperse the oils too — I looked it up. I can’t pull it, I can’t cut it, I can’t flame thrower it — WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? This is not OK. I am not OK. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just wanna put out my Christmas present hammock! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

God, I have to go to bed. It’s only Wednesday. I’m not gonna make it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Listen. I’m just shitting around trying to delay going to bed. So I decide to look at my checking account. I just wrote a big check for the pool opening and of course paid C for cleaning — I just check sometimes, OK? And they changed their UI. Now it shows pending charges as RED. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[138],"tags":[97],"class_list":["post-1193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-home","tag-cursing-cats"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1193"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1195,"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions\/1195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cursingcats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}