Here We Go

Blarg! I have been avoiding posting for over a week now. In fact, I’ve been avoiding even typing this post for the past 30 minutes with Facebook and Youtube while the blank page stares at me. Ok. Here we go. I gained 10 more pounds.

I’m devastated! I’m heart broken. I’m depressed. I’m panicy. I just want to crawl in bed and die. I want to just throw in the towel. Do you know I haven’t had a bite of mac and cheese in THREE YEARS? I haven’t had a taco in three years. What the fuck am I doing this for!? If I’m gonna gain weight I might as well get some damn tacos.

Now I’m 20 some odd pounds from my goal with an appointment with a plastic surgeon in a month. Finally, I get the chance to have decent arms — arms that can wear tank tops and cute sleeveless dresses or better yet those ones that tie behind your neck and I’m blowing it! What the actual fuck?

I just wanna die and throw in the towel. I’m done. Ugh. To describe this as a “funk” is an understatement.

But I’m married and have a cat so I can’t be done. Dammit.

I’ve got a blood draw tomorrow to check my thyroid again because — again I say: what the actual fuck?

I’ve also been peer pressured into Cross Fit. I know, I’m gonna die. We start tomorrow. God help me. But with this damn weight gain I gotta do something! More details on this whole Cross Fit $300 let’s-do-it campaign later. Not sure how much later because I’ve got the busiest week planned. I never book up my weeks. I’m lazy. But this week I have something EVERY DAY. Two things Monday. Plus a full time job. Three Cross Fit training sessions. One doctors appointment. One Baseball game (of course this will be fun) and then tubing on Saturday. Good thing tubing doesn’t require energy! Unless I fall out of that tube. God help us then. Yall gonna have to help my ass get back in.