Louie’s Second Adoptaversary!

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Today, March 30, 2025 is Louie’s second adoptaversary! So of course, I gave him gifts! He also had wet stinky food for breakfast (it is usually a dinner exclusive). He got some wands that suction to the wall (currently the coffee table) and he got a set of birds:

So we have had this little goober for two years now! He should be about three years old. He’s settled into a routine. We have food he likes and that works for him. No more bloating and bloody diarrhea. Or, as husband reminded me, stinky farts. Oh my god! I forgot about the stinky farts. Louie was a stink demon when we took him in. It wasn’t his fault, something in his food disagreed with him. He was a bloated mess and has constant gas that could take out an army platoon. I think I blocked it from my memory.

Louie doesn’t sleep with us, but most days, he’s on the bed when I wake up. He’s not there when I pee at night, so he must come up when he senses it’s about time for me to get up. Then he curls up against husbands feet or legs to wait me out. It’s super cute.

Then he gets breakfast! He used to be insanely food motivated. His food has “marshmallows” which are actually just freeze dried meat chunks. He used to have to eat the marshmallows immediately. Now, he’s more of a grazer. Even with his stinky food, he doesn’t clean his plate all at once anymore.

Of course, this year he got the exclusive Jazz Lounge for dining. Maybe he just wants to visit more.

Then he snoozes his day away. He likes to be in the same room as us. So if I’m downstairs, he’ll be in the living room in his bowl, or the window, or his mat, or if I’m lucky — his couch blanket. While I’m at work, he sleeps in his window bed in husbands office. Same with after I got to bed.

If it’s day time he prefers to be looking out a window. I don’t even close the blinds next to his bowl anymore so he will always be able to look out. The main front window also has the blinds raised up about a foot so he can always lay in that window and look outside.

I know husband is in love with him because one day I came home and he had the blinds in the office window by his window bed up there open. Like I do the living room. HA. Crazy cat dad life incoming. Louie loves husband because husband doesn’t pet him as much. So if husband is moving around — oh man, maybe he’ll pet him. And when husband picks him up he’s such a ham.

He loves being in a sandwich with husband holding him and me petting him. He really hams it up for that.

Louie isn’t 5% of the snuggle bug my Jack was. He loves new people. New people must worship him. But we’re old news. However, when his terms decide, I do get amazing snuggles. They are slightly more often now — not every day though — but close! But when he does, he’s a teddy bear. Especially the now extremely rare times he’ll snuggle while I’m laying down. You can totally teddy bear hug him. Until he’s done, of course.

Husbands sister and brother visited two weeks ago and he slept with my brother in law! What? He slept with him on the air mattress in my “previously known as office.” And I got picture of him jumping up and sitting in both of their laps while we played games. He loves everyone because he wants universal love. Everyone must love him. No one is safe.

Also, he still feels like a Pantene commercial.

OMFG BEES!

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I’ve been super busy with the end of telework and my in-laws are visiting. 

Return to work is kicking my ass hard.  Also, my soul.  It’s just so sad.  And it feels so infinite.  Like welp, this is life now.  Cause it is. 

So with in-laws visiting, I don’t get to stare at the wall.  We went the Botanical Gardens today and they had this book. 

Oh my fucking god, bees!

Christianity

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Rabbit hole

OK, so out of no where topic. Not REALLY though because I typed this all up as a reply to someone on Reddit. Let me explain the Rabbit hole:

I won’t bother with the Reddit post because it wasn’t even about Christianity, it was about a Muslim chick not wanting music at her baby shower. And then in the comments there was shit about religious people cherry picking what they believe (because some Muslims listen to music and some don’t). So, naturally, Christians got brought up — specifically by a guy with some trauma from his Christian dad who hates gay people. So then someone “explained” that some of the Old Testament laws are applicable and some are not. I think he used the terms “Moral” and “Cultic.” So then someone is like where, exactly, is that laid out? And I said Romans. Literally just that. Cause that’s where most people get that from. I just said “In Romans” — neither agreeing nor disagreeing just answering because the guy who initially said it refused to answer anything and told the guy to google. So THEN the guy asks me “Where in Romans?”

Ok, all caught up? Here’s my answer:

Oh you are asking the wrong person on that. I believe that the letters in the Bible were written with specific intent for their specific audience they were written to. They were written by men after Jesus. It’s not like Jesus pooped out the new testament.

The New Testament was put together over time with humans giving weight to what they thought was most important. Most people cite Paul’s letters to the Romans as laying out the law. But it’s all over Romans. A few examples:

~~~~~

Romans 13:
8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

~~~~~

Romans 7:
4 So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. 5 For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore fruit for death. 6 But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.

~~~~~

Romans 14:
5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.

~~~~~

Now that in mind, I believe we are bound by what Jesus told us, not men. And that was to love God and to love one another. Paul tries to lay that out in Romans. He also mentions this in his letter to the Corinthians:

~~~~~

1 Corinthians 9
20 To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. 21 To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law.

~~~~~

The Old Testament is the old covenant(s – Adam, Noah, Moses) which Jesus released us from when he established the New Covenant. But Jesus also noted that this was not just free for all lawlessness:

~~~~~

Matthew 5
17 “Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill. 18 “For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished. 19 “Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.”

~~~~~

Now NOTE what he said there. Anyone under the New Covenant who accepts Jesus’s sacrifice still gets into Heaven. That’ all you HAVE to do. THAT’S the requirement. But then he points out, those who do keep the laws will be called great.

I am a nondenominational Christian as I think all the denominations bicker over insignificant crap. Though I do fall into some sort of the non-Catholic’s as I agree with Martin Luther in the 1500’s when he told them they were full of shit. Like I’m with Luther on that.

I think if you asked Paul which is more important — following the letter of the old testament or behaving as Jesus would have behaved — he would go with the latter. And Jesus wasn’t hanging out with the Pharisees, he was with the sinners showing them love.

And there in that Corinthians I posted, Paul even says he himself changed the laws he followed according to who he was with to win them to Christ. Because the laws are not what is important. Winning people to Christ is what is important as he is the only way to Heaven.

So I hate that so many people are driven from Christianity by a bunch of hypocritical Christians who “cherry pick” like this guys says. BECAUSE THEY’RE MISSING THE BIG IMPORTANT PART.

It’s not about all the little things you do and rules you follow. It’s not about the laws. The New Covenant does not require us to follow them. The New Covenant is for us to love and to do what is true in our spirit and heart. Like that part about the Sabbath — those who choose Sunday — awesome! Those who choose Saturday — awesome! Why are we telling each other the other is going to hell cause they picked a different day? They are following what God calls THEM to do. And both are following the rule of Love.

(Keeping in mind that love is not lawless — murder aint love, adultery aint love for your spouse)

In Matthew 7, Jesus is also quoted with the famous “Judge not lest you be judged.”

I firmly believe that we will be held to the highest standards we judged and held others to. And I personally, am a piece of shit. So I’m just gonna let God decide what is a sin and what is not a sin. I also don’t believe there are any unforgivable sins (again, I’m with Luther, the Catholics are wrong — don’t get me STARTED on suicide I will go OFF).

Now

OK, so that was the end of the post. And I think it was beyond the character limit because I couldn’t even post it. So I wanted to share HERE on my blog, because I think it really shines a light on what I personally believe. And it has come up in my life. Why do I curse? And I’ve already defended tattooing on here once.

And really when I read that Corinthians verse I was just like THAT’S ME!

I’ve tried to explain to people before. I am not a perfect Christian. I’m not holy and hoity. I curse and I am who I am. And because of this, I’m a lot more approachable. I could specifically name three individuals right now without much thought who asked me a lot of questions about Christianity on which they were curious but would not have been willing to ask… oh say.. my mother in law. And that’s why I truly believe in my heart, that I am perfectly fine. Because God uses me anyway.

It’s like with mental health. I want you to know that I have issues and it’s OK to have issues! You can talk to me about it. I’ll tell you everything. (Speaking of, I had to RUN from work today due to impending mental breakdown due to anxiety attack — like I emailed my boss, set up my OOO replies, and speed walked to my car cause aint no one here close enough to see me crying and breaking down).

It’s like how I tell people, psychopathy is a scale. And we actually do need psychopaths. They’re not all murders. Most CEOs are psychopaths.

God needs ALL TYPES of Christians. And yes, that include the ones like me who curse and talk raunchy.

And we don’t even have to discuss it cause the “Old Laws” are moot. We have a New Covenant! With Jesus — and Jesus is fucking awesome! I talk to him every night! And sometimes while I’m driving. And I remind him a lot that I fully expect to see my fucking cat when I get there. No seriously, I do say that in my prayers. I might be one of those lower levels in heaven, but I better have my damn cat.

Sorry, I got distracted. Jesus is awesome! God was like these fucking morons can’t follow a rule to save their damn lives. And THAT’S why Jesus came and fulfilled the Old Covenant with Moses and made the New Covenant that has like two rules. Love God. Love each other. AND YALL CANT EVEN GET THAT RIGHT.

First, I don’t believe being gay is a sin. I just don’t. Sue me. God can decide what is a sin. But okay, so you’re argument might be “but what if it IS — love the sinner hate the sin” some bullshit like that. Ok well here’s my reply.

Jesus said to love one another as I have loved you. He was talking to the Apostles. Read that again. HE WAS TALKING TO THE APOSTLES. Who were they? No, don’t name them. Name one of them — Judas. Uhuh. And what did Judas do? He fucking sold Jesus out and got him hung up and crucified. And that is a gruesome death — and they like overdid it with Jesus too. Normally they’d break your legs to let you suffocate so you’d die faster and they didn’t do that for Jesus. That’s why they finally just stabbed him out of pity. Shit, I’m distracted again.

Judas.

Jesus knew he’d do it. He told them one of them would sell him out. He full on KNEW Judas was a bastard. And he treated him no different than he treated any of his other apostles. He didn’t even TELL the other apostles that Judas was a bastard. And they begged him to tell them who it was. He treated them all with love equally.

So yeah, kick out your child for being gay and call yourself a Christian. That’s TOTALLY what Jesus would have done.

Anyway. I’m done. Hope that was helpful to someone one day.

Plant Updates

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The Great Monstera

The Great Monstera Experiment continues. The last update was in September. It seems to have doubled in height since then. I’ve extended the poles twice now.

The plastic D poles are definitely a winner. I can see they are FULL of roots. And I’ve been able to expand them in height. I’m three tall now (2 feet each) and they are stable as all hell. I figured I’d need a plank of wood or something by now, but they’re solid. I put this down to me using two side by side that are attached together with zip ties. They’re giving each other stability.

Now that there is so much moss, they need to be watered every 3ish days. I do this with some plastic bottles (Powerade Zero to be specific). I drilled insanely tiny holes in the lids. So I fill those up (sometimes with some liquid food) and drop them in the pole and the water is absorbed by the moss super slowly. I did finally think to tie some fishing string to the bottle necks to make them super easy to pull back out. I tied ribbon on the end of the fishing string so it doesn’t get lost. Big brain. No way would i be able to keep up with the water in a traditional pole. I’ve noticed if I let the moss get too dry, it takes way longer to soak up new water. So we’re learning together.

The new leaves on the fastest growing vine are enormous. Also, I have been raising up the Soltec light, but it did burn one of the leaves that got too close. So there’s that. I’ve also added those round grow lights in the pole so that the leaves face out a bit and not all directly facing the ceiling. This has also let them grow out a bit and not be in such a hurry to go UP. The lights are anchored in the moss and then I have a string tied to the light head that then ties back to the pole to hold them up.

String of Bananas

The last String of Bananas update was in January. Holy shit has it been growing. Just now pulling that link and seeing how much it grew in 2 months – damn.

She was getting a little too close to the floor so I just gave her a hair cut tonight. Chop and prop. I took all the cuttings and rooted them back into the pot again. It’s like when your bestie gets a hair cut.

YAS QUEEN. Rock it.

It’s funny how this has gone from a plant I hated to wanting to show off. I can’t believe it used to be in a 2 inch pot.

Lemon Lime Prayer Plant

Welp, now that there’s dirt under my nails — time to pot up the prayer plant propagations. They all took like a champ! And looking back for those links, I see they’ve been rooting for a month. Most of these had more leaves but rooted at multiple nodes. So I cut the rooted nodes apart. Look at those roots!

*3 or 4 hours later* OK! Potted up my prayer plants. So the “mother” plant was three vines I bought a long while ago for maybe $20-$25 at Cat Bird Seat. It really took off. But it grew way too long. So I decided to hack it up. A big part of this was also that over winter, most of the leaves got brown tips. I don’t know what happened, but it did.

I’ve heard of people who chop and prop and ditch the old plant. I’ve always thought that was insane! Now I see why. So I separated out the tiny vine that is just now recovering from giving some props to K. It didn’t have the brown tips because it’s such new growth. I repotted the mother plants two vines and I might just give it away. Not the pot, the plant. It’s good roots. Just had brown tips.

I got 9 propagations plus the baby vine. So here’s momma (in red) and her babies (5 in each pot):

Rough First Month

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I don’t know if yall noticed, but this has been a really rough first month of the presidency for a lot of us. Like REAL rough. It’s been hard. Real hard. One very high high and a fuck ton of really low lows. Mr C and I have the privilege of both being in the middle of this hot mess. I don’t have the ability to look away.

BUT. I cleaned my garage yesterday. Fuck yeah I did. I was gonna clean the back yard. But then we finally bagged up the upstairs Christmas Tree so I needed to put things away in the garage and then it just started. Shit started moving and it was on.

I’m not completely done. I ordered a big pressure washer that will need a home. So I’m going to take my bike which currently hangs horizontally and put it on a vertical hanging rack (ordered from vine). That will give me some space. I’m also gonna use that pressure washer to clean out the moldy broken freezer and move it to the not-accessable-without-a-ladder shelf. I’m also going to decide to either put the ladders where that new space is, or over by husbands car. Then I’m gonna put a tool holder where those are (for the composting tools and the brooms — organizer also from vine).

Why am I keeping an old moldy broken freezer? Because one day, I’m going to make it into a free tiny library on the corner of the property by the city greenway. It’s already water tight! I’m gonna build a box around it to make it cute (it might well be a small TARDIS complete with solar light top). Then I’m going to put a basket on the bottom for sticks and dog toys — a free dog stick library! It’s gonna be adorable. Give me some years to get around to that. It’s a plan.

Like two weeks ago, I hung out with K and K2 and did a vine craft. I ordered Easter Eggs filled with generic lego flowers (click here for that link). Each egg had a flower.

I got the dozen, so four for each of us. I did not think this would be a long activity or a hard one. It was just to get together and chat. Lord we had way too much fun though. First, why were these so much harder than we expected? It was pretty hilarious. The best part was the total silence in concentration that would be broken by little tinkering of small pieces falling to the table and muttering.

I started out on a low point. My first flower was terribly ugly. In fact, it was the ugliest flower by unanimous vote. It looked like someone tried to disguise a anti-aircraft gun. K had just put together what was my choice for the prettiest one. But we had more picks, right?

Well somehow my next two picks were also purple flowers. Ugly ones, I might add. So I was getting frustrated because I kept pulling shitty flowers. So on the last turn, I told them to pick their eggs first and I’d take the last one. Nope, K2 had to see if the trend would keep going. FUCKING PURPLE FLOWER. So, as this is a childs activity and I was frustrated, K stepped up and traded her red flower for my purple. And I got to make a red rose bud that K2 says is a tomato BUT IT’S NOT. And then K put together the second prettiest flower of all, in my opinion, with the set I just traded. Fuck.

So that last photo is all the flowers arranged from my picks for best to worst starting in the bottom left and ending in the top right (so closest (bottom row) to furthest and left to right). I put together flowers ranking #5 (the tomato I traded rank #2 for), #8 (the weird geometric thing), and then ranks #11 and #12. So not my best picking.

Ten out of ten, five star activity though! I do not think a child could put these together but we had great fun. It would be fun as an activity like we did to sit around and joke and put them together. Or like an Easter Advent type thing for a teenager+. They came out to about $1.50 per egg. We all agreed that we would rather find this in an Easter Egg hunt than $1.50. But not as much as we’d want the golden egg which is always at least $5 and maybe $20 if you’re at some rich people egg hunt.

And I don’t know about the others, but I’m from Alabama, I know my egg hunts. Easter was always a grand occasion. You got to get a shiny new Easter dress for church — with a HAT. The only time you can wear a fancy hat to church! Gotta look good for Jesus. Eggs were dyed for the Easter Bunny to hide. And all the egg hunts! I was in egg hunts from as young as I remember. So from the three-and-under class where they just throw some eggs on flat grass and the parents try to convince the stumbling children to put it in their basket — all the way up to the teenagers looking in dead tree trunks for that golden egg.

I found the golden egg once. But I’m pretty sure it was just because my moms friend called me over to the bench where she was sitting with my momma and heavily hinted that I should look *cough cough* behind it. You were a real one, Ms Jackie!

Also, to end on a tragic note — Easter was when I found out that I was too old to believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa. We had gone to Fashion Bug (a plus sized clothing store) to pick out my Easter dress. And they had the SOFTEST stuffed bunny. I begged for it. BEGGED. When we got back to the car I asked mom is maybe the Easter Bunny could bring it to me? And she told me I was too old to believe in that stuff. So I got the bunny on Easter but I never liked it because it was depressing and sad and we didn’t have the money for it.

Plants and Glue Organization

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I finally got a Rattlesnake Plant! I’ve been wanting one for a few months. I even priced them around my birthday back around November at the nursery but didn’t get one. I thought it would be a good gift. But now that the holidays are over, I still want one. I babysat K2s over Christmas and then she took it and I was like — OK, I’ll get one. I had priced them at $25 at the nursery for a 4 inch. I found this 6 inch on Home Depot’s website for the same price! It got here and I’m super happy with it! Look how it’s already opening and closing after two days:

Good day, lamp, I touch you. Good night, lamp, no touch.

The packaging was also probably the best I’ve had on a live plant. It was wrapped in a brown pot bag and there was a ziptie around the stem area to keep the dirt in. Nice. Then it was in another brown pot bag to protect the leaves. And the box was special made for plants. It had a lift off top and handles. And it was super clear which side was up. Not that FedEx gave a single fuck because it was on its side on my porch despite the GLARING “This Side Up” all over the box. All you can do it try.

I also trimmed my Prayer Plant (I think it’s a Lemon Lime) in the kitchen. It was looking super leggy. I want it to be more bushy. So I figured I’d try to root some pieces. I’ll report to a bigger pot and make it 4 stems in the pot. Plus there’s a plant swap coming up and I can sell the others if they root. Still rooting my zig zag cactus cuttings too. So in preparation for the plant swap, I split them into two little terrecotta pots to continue their journey.

Part of the inspiration for this was now that Christmas is put away, the side table is back over by the window. And I’m tired of the kitchen counter looking cluttered with the leggy prayer plant and the zig zag rooting. So I moved it all over to the living room where — not only do I not get annoyed by it, I get to ENJOY them!

Look at me using two of the set-of-four serving trays I got off Vine!

Oh, and I moved the money tree back to the window. Dear god, I hope it’s happy. I moved it with a grow lamp for the Christmas tree and well over half of the leaves just fucking bailed. I think it got spider mites too. So I’ve been treating it and now it’s back by the fucking window. It’s so fucking dramatic. There is new growth though. And then its pot started leaking — no!

Almost all of my plants are watered from below. It just works for me. So the money tree lives in a nursery pot that sits on top of a pile of rocks in a planter pot (with cotton string to wick up water). It has been in there for well over a year. And all the sudden one of the holes I had glued shut decides to leak. Mother fucker. Why?

So I had to clean it out and triage.

Does anyone else have a container of various glues and UV resin? Is it normal for people to have to organize their adhesives? There were just random glues all over the place — in both junk drawers, craft stuff, the garage (OK, actually there’s still four in the garage that are not represented here — wood glue and the glue I use for glass mosaics).

It’s kinda funny cause this basket is one of the three I bought to organize all my surgery supplies when I did the plastic surgeries. I had one for meds, one for bandaging, I forget the other… Here, I found it. One was just hygiene stuff cause I had to live in the chair in the living room. I was super-fucking organized for those surgeries. So it was a human triage basket and now it’s a stuff triage basket.

I went with the Gorilla Glue Construction: Clear. The strongest of the gorilla glue line. Like that shit is insane. I just pumped the holes with it and let it dry overnight. Note: There is “Clear Gorilla Glue” and that is not the same as “Gorilla Construction Glue: Clear.” Like you might think — just use the crazy strong one for everything. But no. The crazy strong one is super thick and you don’t have a lot of control. It’s also not gonna wipe off ANYTHING. That’s way above craft grade. FYI

Middle-Aged Show ‘N Tell

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When you find a nice thing and you have to show it to everyone because we stopped having show ‘n tell after kindergarten. Which, BTW, we need to bring back. You know how we have fucking bullshit Lunch ‘n Learn topics every Thursday? And fucking Wellness Wednesday lunches? Well I want a TEAMS call show ‘n tell! I wanna eat my lunch and watch my coworkers show me fancy things. Or their pets. Or their favorite new pen. Whatever they want. I’d tune into that every god damn week AND participate. So here is my latest Amazon review:

This review is for the PU Leather Tissue Box Holder with Magnetic Closure in Silver Grey.  Or as Amazon calls it, the “PU Leather Tissue Box Cover Square Tissue Box Holder with Magnetic Closure, Decorative Tissue Holder for Bathroom Bedroom Office (Silver Grey).” And let me tell you, the PU Leather Tissue Box Holder with Magnetic Closure in Silver Grey has absolutely no right to be this awesome.  It’s a tissue box, yall, not a jewelry box.  I’ve had jewelry boxes that weren’t nearly this nice. 

This box is so fantastic, that I’m skipping right over the fact that normal tissue boxes are ugly and obnoxious.  Do I need a rainforest print in my living room?  No.  Do you sell solid colors?  Also, no.  We’re skipping that. 

What is this box even made of?  I can’t bend it.  And it is actually rather weighty.  My cat can’t even knock this off the table – and he’s gonna try.  There’s a magnetic closure on the bottom (some tissue box covers don’t even HAVE bottoms) and when it closes, there is a very satisfying thunk sound.  And yall, it’s LINED.  Not just with paper – it’s lined with the velour type felt that jewelry boxes are lined with. 

I say again to you, good sir, why is this box so nice? 

I tried to take some close-up pictures to show you the craftsmanship.  Look at those straight lines and seams.  Look at that lining.  Look how perfectly square the lining is cut and applied to in the inside of the bottom of the tissue box cover that no one will ever see.  Look at the hole!  The PU leather isn’t just cut out at the hole, it’s finished and sewn.  Oh and whatever non-trivial material this thing is made of has been covered in another layer of matching PU leather very well folded over and then sealed with the way-too-nice liner.  I’m actually holding this in my hands flipping it around wondering how they got this perfect curve so nicely covered without a seam going down the hole – wait!  I picked it up again, after typing that, to examine this sorcery again – there is a seam, it’s just nearly invisible.  I only noticed it by feel.  Thank you, because I’m a crafter and I was confused by that impossibility.

The only downside it that the “silver grey” is metallic.  I’m putting this in my living room so I’d have preferred a matte finish.  However, if it weren’t so dang nice, I could just put it in the bathroom and it’d look great in there. 

I’m going to start showing guests the tissue box, aren’t I?  Being old is so weird. 

I see that they make a version of this that’s got a compartment for remotes.  I’m not gonna act like I don’t want that for my desk at work.  And another for my night stand. And one for the guest room. FIVE STARS.    

five stars

//END OF REVIEW

Yall. Blog reader yall, that is. Just to compare. I want you to see see the god awful piece of trash I reviewed last week:

I only gave it two or three stars but I really wanna go back and make it like 1 star now.

My Bitching is Finally Being Recognized!

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So on my last post, I mentioned calling in some warranties.

Vornado — fucking champions. Replaced the fan immediately with a new one as soon as I sent them a picture of mine with the cord cut off. A++ service. American made — BUY THEIR SHIT. They make excellent things that work and they stand by them.

Calphelon — Their website warrantly claim form errors evey damn time. I’ve tried at least 11 times on various days. Go through all the pages, answer the questions, upload photos, and bam — error submitting claim. I emailed with no response. The phone system tells you to use the website. ARRRRRRRRGGG. But I haven’t given up.

MailBoss. FUCK MAILBOSS. I called and they asked for pictures. So I sent pictures of very obvious rusting and finish flaking off after less than one year. They emailed me back that it can happen near the coast. I DON’T LIVE NEAR THE COAST. This summer was A DROUGHT. It’s a mild climate and this thing wasn’t a year old before it started rusting. They said I should sand it down, repaint it, and wax it every year to prevent this happeneing again. Wait — why isn’t waxing this thing mentioned ANYWHERE? I’d have waxed it to begin with!

So does Mailboss stand behind their product warranty. Fuck no they don’t. $400 on a mailbox and it rusts immediately and they just tell you to repaint it. Awesome.

So that made me a bit bothered. So I decided, I will let people know about this. So I clicked around on their website. Searched for them on a few websites and and then hopped on to Facebook. Ah, Target ads, thank you. So I left some comments. Then, I created a post about them and tagged them in it. It is currently at the very top of their mentions page on their own Facebook page:

It was really late on a work night, but I decided I needed to hit up some Amazon reviews for this piece of shit before bed. So I go yell on Amazon, as I like to do and then…

“You’ve been invited to the Amazon Vine Program”

WHAT? I tried so hard to get into this program back in 2019 when I had a head injury and couldn’t work so I just decided to review everything I’d ever bought on Amazon. I did detailed reviews. Ton’s of pictures. People loved my reviews. I was in the top 2000 reviewers at one point. But after a few months, it just was too much effort. So I stopped trying. Oh, I still review shit — but not everything like I used to. And now I’m invited?

WHAT?

My orneriness is being recognized with free products in exchange for a honest review? What?

I’VE MADE IT.

I’ve submitted 9 reviews for free things now. Only one wave has come in. I can order up to 3 items per day with a limit of $100 per item. Of course they have to be part of the Amazon Vine program which is random as fuck. There’s over 77 thousand products and the variety is wild. A lot of it is very niche replacement parts for specific products. There’s a lot of balloon arches and party supplies. a TON of Stanly Cup organizers. And why on earth are there so many things targeted towards healing after a BBL? did you know there are airbeds with a hole cutout for your ass? Cause there are.

Now I can’t just go buck wild. I will have to claim everything on my taxes. I had to fill out a tax form and the cost of the items I receive will be counted as income. So far the most expensive thing I’ve ordered is a double golf-bag rack and shelving for my nephews and brother who all play golf. I’ve also ordered and received:

  • Blanket: 4.7 Stars
  • Gym Drink Bag: 2 Stars
  • Socks: 2 stars
  • Solar Lantern: 4 Stars
  • Vacuum storage bags: 4 Stars
  • Black Dress: 4 Stars
  • “Drink Pusher” 5 Stars
  • Leather Notebook Cover: 3 Stars
  • Tissue Box Cover: 3 Stars
  • Shower Squeegees: 3 Stars

What is a drink pusher?

Yep. It’s like a vending machine thing for your refrigerator!

But three of my reviews have been denied and I don’t get WHY. I guess they’re really anal about the Vine reviews? This one I can only figure was because I mentioned having OCD? So I took all that out to resubmit. The gym bag review got denied and I have NO IDEA why. Maybe because I mentioned the brand of bag I was comparing it to? We’ll see, I removed the brand name and resubmitted. Then the squeegee review got denied. No idea on that one. It might be because I mentioned I was reviewing it? But that doesn’t make sense… I’m so confused. The blanket review got denied too and I fucking love that blanket. I’ve been writing really detailed reviews with tons of photos! Like the gym bag review — it wouldn’t stick to my refrigerator. So I took pictures of it fully loaded with everything in it — then on the front of the fridge, then the side, then I was like. It can’t suck this much ass. So I TOOK IT OUTSIDE and stuck it to my mailbox. Success. And it stuck to my tornado shelter too! So I had EDITED MARKUP pictures with “Fridge? No.” “Side of Fridge? No.” “Mailbox? Yes!”

Look, I went outside in the evening hours to take that photo. I put a bottle of ice water in there with my wallet and car keys and slapped it on my mailbox. I put it in photoshop and added text. These are the reviews the people WANT.

And obviously I’m reviewing with other Vine peeps and some of their reviews are a single sentence. REALLY?

Let me see if I can find the original Drink Pusher one…

Review: Drink Organizer for Fridge Soda Can Organizer Fridge Dispenser for Refrigerator,Organizer Refrigerator Organizers and Storage Water Bottle Organizer,White 5 Row

Me owning this item is actually hilarious. Let me tell you why. I hosted family two weeks ago. My sister-in-laws sister doesn’t know me well. So the next morning she very timidly asked me if she could ask me something without offending me. Ok! She asked if I was OCD. Yep! She asked because of how organized my refrigerator was.

You see, I already stored my drinks like this.  I just didn’t have the fancy pusher!  I was manually reloading the fridge and pulling them forward to look nice.  Talk about an upgrade! 

I didn’t organize my drinks like this for my OCD, I just like for everything to have a proper place and look neat.  Including in my refrigerator.  But I did my drinks like this at first as a joke for my husband.  When I started working from home, I started making him lunch.  I started calling it my café and would yell order up when his lunch was ready.  Then one day, I lined up all of his drinks like this and opened the fridge and joked that we stocked a full accoutrement of drinks at the café now.  (He likes these Spin Drift flavored waters so I keep a lot of flavors to keep it interesting.  Well, I liked the look so it’s been that way for a few months. 

Then TODAY, I installed this masterpiece!  I sent her a picture and told her I’ve upgraded!  I actually sent it to a bunch of my friends because I’m just so tickled with it.  One asked, “does that push the drinks forward for you?”  YES!  And she just laughed.  I love it!  I wish I had another row for my friends coconut water! 

No redlines.  No notes.  I love it.  Excellent price.  Functions great.  No tools to assemble.  I’m even deeply amused that the easy-to-follow instructions just refer to it as “the pusher.” 

For buyers I do have a tip:  Put it together with the drinks you intend for it to hold.  You’ll need to know how wide to make the lanes.  When I first assembled it, I just put the rails and lanes right up next to each other.  I tested it with a can and it was fine.  Then I loaded it up and stuck it in the fridge and it didn’t work!  Bummer!  So I’m looking at it and thinking it just doesn’t have enough spring power.  But no – it just had too much friction.  The lane width needs to be wide enough that the rails aren’t pushing against your cans.  When I tested it with just a single can, there weren’t cans on either side pushing the rails in.  But you also can’t make the lanes too wide.  Otherwise, your straight row of cans gets a bit jumbled.  So have what you want to put in here with you when you assemble it to get the spacing right.  You can always take it out and readjust later, like I did – but save yourself the trouble.

Oh!  I do have one note that’s not important.  My refrigerator is a full depth one.  Not a counter depth fridge.  Yours is probably counter depth.  So I could actually fit more cans in without this.  This can only fit 5 cans deep.  Do I need six of every flavor at all times?  Hell no.  But I was doing it.  Also, as you now have lanes and rails and a need for space between rows to lighten up the friction, I did have to go from 6 cans wide to 5 in roughly the same space.  My husband’s choices are drastically less now.  Yes, that’s sarcasm.  I think this is plenty of options! 

I really do love this thing.  It’s so extra and so awesome all at once. 

Airing of Grievances & Warranties.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Airing of Grievances & Warranties.

Festivus has come (early or late?). We’re having the airing of grievances. I’ve got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it.

First, I fucking LOVE my Vornado fan. So much so, that I’ve bought three. When the first one died, I ordered another online. Then it (the ultimate fan in question) began to act hinky so I ordered a third fan to replace it. Well, hinky guy straightened up after that so I just had two. That’s cool. Amazing fan.

Cut to now and hinky is acting up again. Replacement already has another use so I need to order another. That’s cool. I love my Vornado. So I hop over to Amazon (after comparing prices to Walmart because I’m trying to switch over to Walmart+ because FUCK AMAZON). I have ordered this fan twice before. I know. Thank you. But wait — 5 year warranty? How old is this one? Well, hinky is only 4 years old. Thank you order history.

I look them up and they are an American company and seem to be pretty good (I mean it’s a fucking amazing fan, so I’m not surprised). So I contact them about my fan, hinky. They’re like “That’s cool. Just cut the cord and send us picture evidence so we can ship you a new one.”

Wait what? I get a FREE fan? I was just about to pay $50 for one!

Well, I have other warranty things that have been bugging me too. So it’s warranty day, bitches.

Calphalon lifetime warranty? What does that cover? I watch a youtube where they replaced his so yeah — I’m filling a claim on this expensive ass pan. We were gifted two from our registry for our wedding (no idea how two were purchased from the registry). Well, I never opened one. It’s moved with us in its original packaging. It’s been my favorite pan for 12 years. But it’s finally just not at all non-stick anymore. So I broke out the old-newbie. Holy shit. This pan is amazing! I forgot how great this pan used to be. I’m filling a warranty claim! Back up your words, Calphalon!

Mailboss mail box. Lifetime warranty. Why does my $300 white mailbox look like such shit after a year and 2 months outside in a mild climate in near drought? Why you so rusty? Lifetime warranty? But warranty doesn’t cover rust and finishes. Well, I’m arguing this is a fucking defect in yalls paint. So I called and they asked me to send pictures. So I did.

Pictures of all three products were sent in today. I’ll let you know if I get replacements. I’m pretty positive on the Vornado because they already accepted the claim — I just needed to send evidence that I “destroyed” the old one by cutting the cord — literally. We shall see on the others.