Trying to give me a damn heart attack

Listen. I’m just shitting around trying to delay going to bed. So I decide to look at my checking account. I just wrote a big check for the pool opening and of course paid C for cleaning — I just check sometimes, OK? And they changed their UI. Now it shows pending charges as RED. So when the page pops up my eye goes straight to THIS:

WTF? I’M NEGATIVE MONEY? NEGATIVE MONEY? The overdraft fees gonna be more than that! I have great credit — I can’t remember the last time I overdrafted. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I’m going to die.

But no, they just changed the colors around. I’m fine. That’s just a pending withdrawal. There is money to cover it. WTF, Wells Fargo? I almost DIED. I used to be poor, Wells Fargo! You’re giving me poverty flashbacks over here.

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In other news, Louie found a frog in the house. And he wanted to eat it. I saw him stalking something with the intense butt wiggle. I had to check to see what it was. Demon? Wood Roach? What are you doing? It looked like trash from my spot in the kitchen until IT JUMPED. It was a frog. It came in in my watering can. And now it’s hopping on all the chair legs under the table as I try to catch it while Louie ties to eat it.

Husband came to the rescue. Thank you, husband.

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Also, I’m FREAKING OUT about the poison ivy in the pool rocks. I can’t handle it. I sprayed it with the $100 round up on Sunday and it’s not dead. NOTHING IS DEAD. How am I gonna get rid of it? I can’t weed eat poison ivy, I’ll be covered in it! As will the rocks and it’ll get on me every time I’m out there barefoot which I am BECAUSE IT’S A POOL. I can’t handle this. I don’t even want to get out my pool stuff. Cause there’s poison ivy! And I thought about a flame thrower but that will disperse the oils too — I looked it up. I can’t pull it, I can’t cut it, I can’t flame thrower it — WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? This is not OK. I am not OK.

I just wanna put out my Christmas present hammock!

God, I have to go to bed. It’s only Wednesday. I’m not gonna make it.