Joys of Home Ownership

Yall. Since we built the expensive BEAUTIFUL deck, house stuff just keeps popping up! We’ve had a lot of rain recently so I took a pool sample to the pool store to get it professionally tested. I needed some acid anyway. Well, actually I had ordered some acid and put it in the night before. We’ll get to that. They showed my salt level as way off from what my sensor was telling me. So I asked if it needed to be re-calibrated or something. The guy didn’t know shit, so whatever. I asked about the Ph because I put acid in the previous night. Long story short, I looked at Amazon to verify what I ordered (because it did seem more fine than the acid I usually use) and I had ordered Ph PLUS. The exact opposite of what I needed to put in. So yeah, I bought a huge bucket of acid so not a worthless trip.

I called my pool guy about the sensor being off. He said the salt cell might be dirty or nearing end-of-life which is usually about 6 years. Well, this is our 8th year. So awesome. Thankfully, I panic searched and a new salt cell is only about $1,000 when I thought they were $6,000. Still not good. Pool guy came and he said it is near end of life, but it’s still working fine, only a little off. I asked him about the pool store results. He said the pool was probably just super diluted from the rain when I got my sample. I don’t buy that, but OK. Also, I ordered an electric water tester for salt and Ph levels. I asked him if I should replace the salt cell. He said I should wait until next Spring or just wait until It dies completely. Which was great news! And he didn’t even charge me for coming out since he said he was on my side of town anyway. I love pool guy. This was twoish weeks ago.

Today, I’m in the office and I get an automated call from the security company. These are always a nightmare because I screen my calls and the robotic voice mispronounces everything so the transcript is insane shit. However, I recognized this style of insane shit and picked up in time to request a text of the info. My security system sent out a low battery signal. So I call the company and ask whats up. She just reads me the error message. Yeah, I caught that. Where is the battery? What kind of battery does it need? She said she can forward me to the service department. OK. She forwards me to the exact same number I just called with the same options. So I choose request service this time instead of customer service. I have to go through all my info. Phone number? Address? Name? Security code? Whats the problem? Yeah I see it sent out a low battery signal. I KNOW. Where is the battery? It’s in the system box. It’s a metal box. OK, what type of battery does it need? You’ll need to look at it to see.

I’m gonna admit, I’m pretty pissed about this. I’m not home. I need to know what battery to buy. I didn’t install this system nor do I own the components. They installed it and I kinda rent it from them. Shouldn’t they know what system I have? Shouldn’t they be able to look up the system components? So I ask if they can just send me a battery. She says they can, but it would be cheaper to get one at Lowes or Home Depot. Again, this is stupid because I don’t even own this shit.

So husband had been texting while I was on the phone. Turns out, here at home, the security system was going nuts. I tell him the problem and ask him to look for the battery. Surprisingly, he does. Usually, he would tell me he’ll do it later or tell me I can look when I get home. But he sure did go get a screw driver to look. And this isn’t the kind of stuff he’s great with. Also, there’s a lot of “metal boxes” in that closet. It’s like our wiring hub for everything in the house. So it wasn’t in his first box choice. Fail. Turns out it was in his second choice! A big ass battery. So he sends me a picture of said battery.

It is not in stock at Lowes, Home Depot, or Walmart. I’m not too disappointed because I really didn’t want to go to any of these places anyway. So I ordered one online. It’ll be here Saturday. I pray the security system doesn’t go nuts every day until it is replaced.

Then I get a doorbell ring on my phone from my spiffy new Ring doorbell. It’s the lawn guy. We don’t have a mower, so we pay a guy to mow our yard. I figure he wants his check. So I call husband who is at home. He doesn’t answer. I assume husband must be napping and text lawn guy that I can be home in 15 minutes to get his check (I was about to leave work anyway). Then husband calls and tells me that lawn guy says one of the pool pipes had burst and is gushing water. WHAT THE FUCK? NOT MY POOL! So I tell husband how to shut off the pump (he has never touched the pool equipment. That’s my area) and rush home.

Yep. One of the connectors to the salt cell that was cleaned 2 weeks ago has completely fractured. Our pool equipment is facing South and gets burning heat in full sun all day. So it does a number on the PVC and shit. The connector had cracked completely and come undone. So I ask lawn guy if this is where the water was coming from. It was. I fire it back up to verify. It won’t get suction. Probably because the pool has lost 3 inches of water and is now below the skimmers. So it’s pulling air from the skimmers, not water. *Sigh*

I gotta go to the grocery store anyway or I won’t have lunch tomorrow. So I text pool guy a picture of the problem. Thankfully he calls me and says he can just replace that connector. I ask about the pipes because lawn guy thinks we’ll need to replace the whole section of pipe. Pool guys says we just need a new connector and he probably even has some laying around. He’s going to try to come over tomorrow and replace it. However, he works all over our region so he really has no idea where his job will take him tomorrow. I told him if he can’t make it, let me know and I’ll go buy some shock and dump it in the pool. I can’t have a freaking algae bloom or something because I can’t run the pump.

So I’m thinking when we get a new pump (it is inevitable), maybe I’ll build some shade over all that equipment. It would probably be good for the equipment. Also, I get sunburned almost every time I’m over there cleaning it. It’s in direct sun and hot as fuck. Then I thought — that sunsail was cheap as fuck… what If I just get a little sunsail for the side of the house? It was kind of a joke but I really thought about it while I was in the shower and I’m seriously considering it for next year when we get the new salt cell. It wouldn’t need super high posts like the one for the deck so I could install those that myself with some friend help to dig the post holes. I could totally get a little square beige one just to cover the equipment. Hell, If I got a longer rectangle, it could even cover the downstairs HVAC unit. Might be good for it too…