This Day is Sus as Fuck

I’m having a wonderful morning.  And I am suspicious.  I never have a good morning.  Am I going to die?

My husband is happy and woke up before me.  Hopped out of bed and went for a walk before my zombie ass even got out of bed.  He hung out with me while I got ready for work.  It was really nice.

Had nice clothes clean and not wrinkly to wear.  Husband complimented that I looked good. 

I brushed the cat.  Headed to work in a good mood while husband started unloading the dishwasher.  No traffic.  I usually hit the red light and have to wait three light cycles to get to the gate.  There was no one.  I pulled up to the white line.  I literally check my clock, because am I late?

No line at the gate.  All gates open and no one in front of me.  Am I sure I’m on time?  The clock says I am. 

Saw a crow, said hello.  Got a good parking space, WTF?

On time to settle in before joining my early daily stand up. 

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Like I’m seriously just suspicious.  If I die: I love you, husband.  Take care of Louie.  JACK BETTER BE THERE. 

*Break*

So I couldn’t post this from my phone because WordPress is having issues.  I figured I’d post when I get home. 

Walmart just called me.  (I had actually emailed them with photos and the order number plus a link to my post).  They offered to replace everything in that order PLUS refund it.  But I’m not a shitty human.  I already got a refund for the popcorn and everything else was still sealed so I’m gonna use it.  Like I’d feel really bad if I accepted that.  I’m neutral chaotic, not greedy.  

SO THEY GAVE ME A HUNDRED DOLLAR GIFT CARD. 

What is happening?  This is not my life.  If that 3:00 all hands actually ends on time (4:00) when it always runs to almost 5, I’m going to call my husband and tell him I want a natural burial.

Natural burial in comfortable clothes.  Like just wrap me in some linen or whatever in comfortable clothes (But ones I look good in.  I don’t wanna be a slob.  I like the outfit I’m wearing today.) Also, I want to actually be dressed, not just look dressed.  No shoes, no makeup.  Don’t forget Jack’s ashes!

I don’t care where it is, but I want it to be a forest near a tree that turns pretty colors in the Fall.  If we can spring for it, creepy ass angel statue coving her face cause she crying ala the weeping angels. Or just creepy ass angel in the woods. 

I don’t care if there’s a funeral or not.  Seriously, I don’t care.  If you wanna hold one, you do you.  I’d like for you to be at my burial.  That’s all, no family.  My besties can come if you need support. 

You get all our stuff and my money.  Give my nephews a bit of cash. 

Also a bit to M, K, and K2.  They’re my peeps and made my life better.  If you’re not gonna appreciate Gregory and my bird bath, make sure one of them gets it. 

Thank you for a great day.