Tag: work

Eight Day Migraine

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Family Catch-up

Yall know I’ve been stressed. I haven’t been posting a ton, but you remember the family drama, right? My (low contact) dad died and my sisters be crazy and I got tossed back into the turmoil I needed therapy to escape.

Actually, I just looked it up to backlink and I haven’t posted about it since the day he died. That’s how you know its stressful. You stop trying your stress relief and asking for help because it’s just fucked.

Hmm. Wow. How do we update this without a thesis? Dad died, obviously. I don’t get bereavement leave and took unpaid time to be there when he died. So lame. It’s not relevant, but I’m bitter.

So, my sister, the caretaker is kinda of taking charge of everything. Cause My father had a will that left the house to her but he never signed it because OF COURSE. And while he was with his GF for 16 years, they weren’t married and she had her own house closer to her work so they can’t establish common law marriage. So that leaves us with having to get an attorney to settle the estate and all 5 children have to agree to everything and/or get an equal cut.

So caretaker sister was doing that. She had already been doing a bunch of it and keeping everyone totally up to date. Then she went to pick up the death certificates and someone already had. Turns out secret family step brother had picked them up. He claimed it was to be helpful. But really he was getting his own attorney to get power of the estate — which doesn’t matter because the law would still be the same, but some people are stupid. Well, I actually saved the day by telling them that she could just go print a new one for $15 and she did so she beat him to it. But I still got yelled at a ton.

Why? Cause evil secret family step brother is trying to thwart everyone on every single fucking thing. First it was the death certificates. Then he filmed everything in the house to document it so nothing would be lost. Then fighing over what real estate agent to use. Refusing to let movers be paid for by the estate (my solution to “im not helping”) or help himself. And all through all of this shit he lying his teeth off about how he’s doing it to protect caregiver sister. Whatever.

Oh wait — so antifreeze sister and secret family step brother think there is money to be had. Cause dad lived like he had money. And they’re stupid. Dad owed years of back taxes and had a reverse mortgage. So no. I was on team — just let them reposes everything. But my siblings wanted to sell the house because even with the reverse mortgage there was/is money to be made. So I was like sure, I vote to sell too. So then they had to fix shit and pack up the house and move the packed up shit (cause dad was kind of a hoarder about buying ALL THE SHIT). And I got a fuck ton of flack for not being there helping. EVEN FROM MY SISTER IN LAW.

Yall, I wanted to let it get repossessed. I don’t want any of his shit. I’m not the one stealing death certificates and getting my own attorney. Yet I’m getting yelled at over text way too much. And secret family step brother is a total piece of shit. His attorney sent a letter of his demands which was everything with VIN plus everything of any value — plus dads retirement axe and medals. Like everything. Which I find especially scummy because he demanded the only two things the girl friend of 16 year wanted. Fucking piece of shit. I get that both of his parents had personality disorders so he surely does as well — but he has a wife. How is she justifying her husband acting like this? Someone dies and you just run in and try to take it all? I’m told they DID actually try to get the house too. They wanted to take out a reverse mortgage of their own to pay off dads reverse mortgage and they get the house. Yeah… the law don’t work like that.

So we’re selling dads house and vehicles and, now everything. And now that secret family step brother is fighting us in court, we’re going to have to sell EVERYTHING. Yeah, like even the personal shit. If you want it, you gotta buy it from the estate. Which, I don’t want any of it – but that’s harsh, man. Also, all the money we’re spending to fight his attorney will come out of the estate at the end. He’s gonna get 1/5th of the money no matter what — that’s the law. So why is he making it so difficult? Also, he still has one of the vehicles (illegally) and won’t give caretaker sister the millage to estimate it’s value for sell. Last I heard (over a week ago), she was going to have the attorney demand it be returned or report it missing if he doesn’t. Cause… you can’t have a car that’s not yours. Like what are you even thinking? It’s not in your name. How would you even renew the tags? What is happening?

And yes, I DO have all of these text messages muted. But I still see them. And it’s very stressful. And I’m tried of getting shat on by my family. Also, YALL ARE INSANE. This is a fucking soap opera. The step brother from dads secret family is suing us for everything after his death That’s a bad tv plot.

Work Catch-up

I haven’t posted at all about work. Because it’s a cluster fuck. I don’t know if you follow the news, but the US is kinda going up in flames at the moment. I’m a federal employee. So yadda yadda yadda, we gotta get rid of 2000 people. DRP, DRP2, VERA/VSIP — only half there, guys! So they cut all the probationary people. Not enough. Until recently, I didn’t have to worry too much, cause I’m a term. Meaning I was hired for a term. For the past few years, my company has only been letting people hire on as terms and not “perms” (permanent employees). They just extend the terms forever. So until recently, it didn’t affect me. They had to cut perms. My job wouldn’t affect anything. Well, then they decided that you could only have 10% overage as well — overage is the term employees. We have way too many. So until we get down to our goal staff, we can’t renew terms. My term is up January 17, 2026.

Well, they really need some of us. (LISTEN — there is government fat that needs cutting. You know who it is? The lifers that don’t do work and you can’t fire them. But this isn’t touching those people). So they were extending some terms to get us out of the cut window. But then FRAGO23 hit and they wouldn’t let them extend terms anymore. So I get called into a meeting with 3 up my chain of command to inform me my extension had not been processed yet. FUCK. They extended me and then reneged it!

So now I gotta find a job. Husband got laid off in April and so is in his gap year. SO I HAVE OUR HEALTH INSURANCE. We have savings and no debt so we are so awesome. Like everyone else is fucked and we are crazy blessed. But, I still need insurance. We can’t not have insurance. So I gotta find a job. With insurance. Now. And it’s more stressful job hunting when it’s just you with the insurance. I can’t go on husbands insurance — HES ON MINE.

So I’m job hunting! I’ve been to a symposium, a hiring event, and today I had an interview. Fun. Fun times. Not like everyone else isn’t looking for a job too. I fucking hate new jobs.

Migraine

So suffice to say, I’m fucking stressed to hell. I had my regular followup with my neurologist last month and they were like “how are your headaches?” And I was like really fucking bad. Cause anxiety and stress makes migraines worse. I know this. So I’m like — I’m stressed to fuck and my neck is jank. But they were like — well… we’re gonna do an MRI and more physical therapy for your neck anyway. Awesome.

Then last Monday, I started getting a bad headache. Mostly sound sensitive. PT on Tuesday and it started to become light sensitive. Wednesday we had a meeting with my new division at work.

— Wait — more background — were doing a whole new reorg and it is a CLUSTERFUCK. Like I am on the Titanic. So really, I think God is just forcing me out of this shitty job that he knew I wouldn’t leave due to inertia. —

New division is such an epic clusterfuck that you just can’t even say anything. You just have to go — yep. Ok. You wanna die, fine — lets go play music while the ship sinks. Great plan, AMERICA. So combine that with the Migraine and I left early.

Tuesday I had tried one rescue med. Wednesday I decided to try another. I can’t drive on that one so It meant taking Thursday off too. Yeah, neither worked. So Thursday, I call the neurologist twice. Then again once on Friday. And Friday at close, I get a call that they’re calling in a different rescue med.

Well, insurance doesn’t cover it. And their office is closed now for the weekend. The no cost help-pay option only works if insurance covers part of it — then the drug company pays the rest. So that’s no help. GoodRx price was $1,200. FOR HOW MANY? 10 pills. Can I get less? Hold. We can do 3 pills for $400. How much is a fucking dose? 1 pill. How much is one pill? $140. Fucking fill it.

Two days missed work, three rescue meds — one of which cost $140 — didn’t fix the migraine. So Monday I’m at work and my stomach is just going “im gonna barf im gonna barf im gonna barf.” I can wok through pain, but working through “im gonna barf” is significantly more difficult. So I call the neurologist again — I’ve missed 2 days of work and spent over $150 and you haven’t fixed it. And they’re like — yo you gotta go to the hospital or urgent care then. Wait WHAT? What the fuck can urgent care do?

So I call Urgent Care. They can give me two shots. Then if that doesn’t work, the next day, they can hook me up to some IVs. Holy shit, why didn’t anyone tell me this last week? I’m on my way.

So I go and they’re like rate your pain. I fucking hate rating my pain. I have a high pain tolerance and I really think that a 10 should be “I’ve cut my hand off but I can still talk and answer this question.” So I learned that you don’t give them a number, you tell them how it is affecting your life. So I was like driving makes me want to cry, I feel like I ate ecoli tainted mexican food, I’ve missed 2 days of work, and I paid $150 for a PILL. ONE PILL. Do you know how much ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS IS? And now I’m here even though this means I have to work late to make it up. “So 8 then?” Sure. Oh and, obviously, my head feels like it’s in a vice grip, but we discussed that’s easier to sit through than the barf thing.

So they gave me a shot in each side of my ass on Monday.

It’s Wednesday and I think we’re finally over the hump. I did think it was totally gone but I do admit that typing this, I have a bit of a headache.

It’s stress. Stress is going to kill me.

Smartassing for Amusement. 

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One thing I do far to much at work is to smart ass for amusement.  Not just this job.  Every job.  If you send out a tone-deaf email, my fingers just take over and start typing. 

Today we got a safety email about strong scents in the workplace.  Basically strong cleaners, perfumes, air fresheners, soaps, lotions – all that – can be harmful to people who are really sensitive.  We need to be mindful of our coworkers. 

Background: they have been putting a new coating of tar on our roof for months.  It was supposed to be two weeks back at the beginning April.  Don’t ask me.  But the smell is acrid.  It’s causing lots of people headaches and makes my eyes burn. 

There are multiple signs posted all over that you may notice a strong smell but it is nontoxic.  No one believes that bullshit.  But at least I sit on the first floor so it’s far better than the poor fuckers upstairs.  Also, I could move to a hot desk in another building but whatever.

So I get this email about strong lotion and my fingers just take over “You are aware…”

I do this because the responses always amuse me.  I’m a pot-stirrer.  I never claimed I was anything better. 

Anyway, they just replied that the materials used are “known to give off certain fumes or odors during the application process. […] Please rest assured that the materials chosen have been evaluated by <BLAH BLAH Industrial Hygiene Team>, are compliant with safety standards, and precautions were taken to minimize any impact on employee air quality.”

Uhuh.  Sure, DuPont. 

Manspreading the Whole Room

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I just had a man enter my office (which contains three cubicles) and manspread the whole ass room.  I have never seen this.  I instantly hated this person. 

There are people who command with their presence in a quiet way.  This was not that.  This was not a natural, respectable, commanding (think Reacher from the TV show with Alan Ritchson, not the movie.  Or anything with Henry Caville or Alan Ritchson where they just stand there quietly but respectfully).  This was an extremely annoying “I’m important” imposition. 

He walked in, went to the center of the room, spread his feet apart, puffed out his chest, crossed his arms over his puffed out chest, and very loudly and firmly (in a quiet office sitting) said “officemate, I need your attention.” I said (disrespectfully) “she’s in a meeting.” Cause she was literally hosting a TEAMS meeting with her headphones on.  I’ve been listening to it for an hour and a half.  I fucking hate return to office. 

So she asks her meeting to give her a second and she informed him she’s in a meeting and asks who he is.  He says he’s with <<Insert bane-of-my-existence dumpsterfire here>>.  They need to talk to her.  He clarifies it’s nothing bad.  She clarifies she’s in a fucking meeting. 

So he told her to come to his office when she’s done, explains where it is, his name – way too much time taken from someone hosting a meeting.  He should have just said, I’ll send you a message or an email, but no. 

What an asshole.  I’ve never seen someone just come in and demand to be seen and heard like that.  Just fucking manspreading over the whole room.  Fuck off. 

And I know he isn’t high ranking military as they wear uniforms.  Even our directors aren’t such assholes.   

UPDATE: Oh it’s a head hunt.  Blood shall be spilled over this new dumpsterfire flare up.   

This Day is Sus as Fuck

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I’m having a wonderful morning.  And I am suspicious.  I never have a good morning.  Am I going to die?

My husband is happy and woke up before me.  Hopped out of bed and went for a walk before my zombie ass even got out of bed.  He hung out with me while I got ready for work.  It was really nice.

Had nice clothes clean and not wrinkly to wear.  Husband complimented that I looked good. 

I brushed the cat.  Headed to work in a good mood while husband started unloading the dishwasher.  No traffic.  I usually hit the red light and have to wait three light cycles to get to the gate.  There was no one.  I pulled up to the white line.  I literally check my clock, because am I late?

No line at the gate.  All gates open and no one in front of me.  Am I sure I’m on time?  The clock says I am. 

Saw a crow, said hello.  Got a good parking space, WTF?

On time to settle in before joining my early daily stand up. 

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Like I’m seriously just suspicious.  If I die: I love you, husband.  Take care of Louie.  JACK BETTER BE THERE. 

*Break*

So I couldn’t post this from my phone because WordPress is having issues.  I figured I’d post when I get home. 

Walmart just called me.  (I had actually emailed them with photos and the order number plus a link to my post).  They offered to replace everything in that order PLUS refund it.  But I’m not a shitty human.  I already got a refund for the popcorn and everything else was still sealed so I’m gonna use it.  Like I’d feel really bad if I accepted that.  I’m neutral chaotic, not greedy.  

SO THEY GAVE ME A HUNDRED DOLLAR GIFT CARD. 

What is happening?  This is not my life.  If that 3:00 all hands actually ends on time (4:00) when it always runs to almost 5, I’m going to call my husband and tell him I want a natural burial.

Natural burial in comfortable clothes.  Like just wrap me in some linen or whatever in comfortable clothes (But ones I look good in.  I don’t wanna be a slob.  I like the outfit I’m wearing today.) Also, I want to actually be dressed, not just look dressed.  No shoes, no makeup.  Don’t forget Jack’s ashes!

I don’t care where it is, but I want it to be a forest near a tree that turns pretty colors in the Fall.  If we can spring for it, creepy ass angel statue coving her face cause she crying ala the weeping angels. Or just creepy ass angel in the woods. 

I don’t care if there’s a funeral or not.  Seriously, I don’t care.  If you wanna hold one, you do you.  I’d like for you to be at my burial.  That’s all, no family.  My besties can come if you need support. 

You get all our stuff and my money.  Give my nephews a bit of cash. 

Also a bit to M, K, and K2.  They’re my peeps and made my life better.  If you’re not gonna appreciate Gregory and my bird bath, make sure one of them gets it. 

Thank you for a great day. 

Bringing Joy & Passive Aggressive Teams Icons

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Yall, I’m so petty, and I have NO SHAME. So, if you are blessed enough to work telework at all, you are familiar with the Zoom and Teams meetings. The little squares or circles of peoples initials. Most people don’t bother to upload a picture. If you’re REALLY lucky, someone uploads their pet as their icon.

One afternoon I ran into a girl with pink hair at work and recognized her from her icon — because pink hair. And I was like OMG! I’ve been debating what to make my icon. Like do I go professional, tattoo, or pet? Cause I do love the pets. Well, I went pet. Classic Louie with the sunglasses. That’s been my icon for months. People recognize me by it. I’ll introduce myself in person and say “I’m the cat with sunglasses!”

So I usually hop into meetings a few minutes early just so I don’t lose track of time. One meeting a while ago — we were still a few minutes from start and I joking said “oh man, we already have two cats and a dog — this is gonna be a good meeting.”

Well, asshole chimed in that he prefers people to use their faces so he knows who people are. I just joked it off that I prefer animals.

Yall, this motherfucker’s picture is a black and white selfie in sunglasses and a ball cap that had to have been taken 15-20 years ago. — Just for the full picture.

Then he’s mentioned it in two meetings since. The last time, he called me out directly. It was a meeting with nothing remotely related. I was talking about requirements and he said something like “I’ll agree if you stop using your cat for an icon” or something. IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING WHERE WE WERE HAVING PROFESSIONAL DISCOURSE. So, I snapped back that I’ll change mine when he shows his face as in his own icon as he’s got a hat and sunglasses on. He says he’s perfectly recognizable in his. I disagree.

So today, he has pissed me off. He does that a lot. So TODAY, since it’s OCTOBER, I changed my icon to Louie with batwings and a pumpkin (from last year). It’s Microsoft, so it will take a while to trickle down through the various apps.

Yall. What can I do for Thanksgiving and Christmas? I gotta get under his skin REAL GOOD. How can Louie reflect Thanksgiving?

It’s got to be funny and cute because normal people will find this adorable and a bright spot in their day to see my cat dressed up in the work meeting. And every time someone compliments it, it will FUCKING KILL HIM INSIDE. So we need max cuteness.

WHAT IS THIS? A school for ANTS?

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Look at this hat, yall. I’m looking for a new pool baseball cap. So I searched for “Baseball hat ponytail.” Amazons fucked up algorithm showed me a “men’s baseball cap” first (Sponsored ad, of course) and this abomination:

My scalps gonna burn right through that damn thing. AND no ponytail elastic — FAIL.

OK WAIT — before we move on — what the actual fuck is this? This one doesn’t protect your scalp or block the sun from your eyes. Why does this abomination exist?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, new topic. Also, I do understand the irony in this next situation.

So did you read my last post about how life saving and amazing my new BedJet is? Well, you just got the summery. So it blows air into a cloud sheet to keep you cool under the covers. Awesome. Until…

Yeah. Four times now, I’ve woken up a sweaty mess because Louie is blocking the air vent. Is Louie doing this to be near me? Fuck no he’s not. Louie isn’t a mushy lover. He has NEVER slept on my side of the bed (on occasion when we sleep late and he’s waiting for me to get up and feed him, he’ll be on the bed — on Anthony’s foot corner). And he’s not sleeping with me — hes RIGHT on the air output.

So nearest I can figure, It’s the vibrations or noise? The only place I feel anything from the BedJet is right there at the outlet — you feel the air blowing inside the sheet and therefor against your feet so it’s kind of a waveform/vibration feeling.

If he was on either SIDE of the airjet, it wouldn’t be a problem. However, hes completely blocking any air from dispersing into the sheet. This is a problem yall.

Yeah I get it hahaha, that’s so funny.

NO IT’S NOT. I’m SWEATING. I’m hot. Today, after I took this picture, I had to get out of my PJs and put on new underwear because I was so sweaty. I had a good thing and now I don’t. How do I fix this?

I just moved the nozzle to the side of the bed in hopes that maybe that will help? I don’t think it will, but we’re gonna find out. Is there a fabric that he would find very uncomfortable? Keep in mind that covering the counters in parchment paper had zero affect on him. Like would he do it on a tarp? Is there an very offensive pointy side of the velcro fabric?

And yes, I get the irony. For over a year, I’d wish and wish that he’d want to sleep in bed with me. Now it’s NOT COOL. I didn’t even intend that pun there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lastly, an update: Our floor is getting fixed! They’re coming to pack up our entire first floor including kitchen appliances and move it all into the garage. They’ll be here Wednesday at 8:30am. So this is great!

And terrifying. Cause this week they’ll move stuff and fix all the dry wall. Then they wont start on the floor until like next week. I think next Wednesday? Or was it the NEW floor is going in Wednesday? I don’t know. But multiple week thing. Gotta move all our shit. Living upstairs and out of the garage. For lunch and breakfast, I gotta go in the garage where my fridge is and pass workers. I’m not looking forward to this.

Also, the mold remediation with the loud fans did something to Louie. It fucked him up. He’s all jumpy and scared of noises now. So we gotta get rid of him before any of this goes down. We can’t traumatize the cat again. So K is gonna take him in Tuesday night. But it’s gonna be MORE THAN A WEEK. And I already feel so bad leaving him! And also, like how often do I visit? Like I’m lazy and I don’t wanna go visit all the time — but he IS my cat and she doesn’t live far away. So like how often is often enough to not feel guilty? You know the answer is no amount. I will feel guilty no matter what.

So I did up a huge list of shit that’s gotta be done because I am stressed. Today, I wanted to lay on the couch and be a depressed crying blob of anxiety paralysis. However, my sweet husband kept looking at my list and going “hey we can do this” — and doing a lot of it himself. Like we tidied up the garage and got a table ready with the toaster oven. We clipped Louie’s nails. We put the card table in the master bedroom and moved all the plants upstairs. Then we took a nap and I planted some plants.

Yall, this week at work is also gonna be a SHIT SHOW. A fucking huge shit show dumpster fire. It’s not good.

STRESS

Snake in the Grass

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OK, I came here to post a review about cat hair cleaner. But I can’t I gotta talk about something else. Something bigger. Something fucking huge and infuriating and disgusting. I was going to post about it when I had time to reread the initial email and use quotes but fuck it — here we go.

First, yall know I don’t like people. People suck. They only give a fuck about themselves. But I don’t live in fear of people. I don’t expect every person I walk past to stab me, I just think they’re probably a selfish asshole or a dumbass until they prove otherwise. I’m actually a nice person. Despite the fact that I’m bitter and shit. I’m also southern. We’re nice down here. So let me tell you — when I got fucked over SO DAMN HARD this week, it was actually a shock.

Like, damn, I knew she was a bitch — but I didn’t know she was snake in the grass. What the fuck? Who DOES THAT? Bad people.

Like I know, my moral compass doesn’t line up with yours. But my moral compass is strong. I have values. I have rules you just don’t break. I have unacceptable. And this… holy fucking shit.

So. The Snake has come after me. There’s this bitch at work (previously “bitch” — now we’re out of curse word range. Like she has passed jovial words at this point). No one wants to deal with her. I only deal with her when I have to. No chatting. Just emailing each other questions to get the job done. We don’t work in remotely the same department or line of work, so we don’t even interact that much. I have no idea of her work location. I’ve never spoken to her over voice chat, phone, or in person. She’s just one of those people you have to deal with sometimes. And whenever you ask her a question, she’s almost always a bitch about it and says that’s not her job or you should already know or some shit. And she’s always blaming my group (of 2 — but mainly me) for shit to customers. And she’s rude as fuck to customers. Like this bitch is so rude, I’ve complained about it to my boss multiple times. And yeah, I have the receipts because some were in writing.

But everything was fine. Sometimes you just work with bitches and assholes. You just try to avoid them. You ask other people when possible. Or when you get a snappy reply you just forward it to your boss and ask for help.

Yall know I don’t give 2 fucks about work. Work isn’t my life. I don’t get my kicks and personal satisfaction from work. I just wanna do my job and go home. My boss knows this. I’m pretty positive I said it in the interview. So you know that I don’t have enough fucks to give to be mean to someone. One, I’m not mean. Two, I don’t shit where I eat. Three, I can’t be bothered. I just need the information to do my job so I can go home and pet my cat. And as far as I know, until this week, this person quite liked me. I COULD be wrong. I’m not sure when her attitude changed about me.

It might have happened early this week. She sent an email about some paperwork she’s corrected on the last 4 things I’ve submitted. My coworker was copied on it and gets in way earlier than me so there were already some back and forths on the chain before I joined in. So I get it and go — my bad, I’m a dumbass. I didn’t even KNOW there were multiple of that thing — I’ve literally been copying and pasting from the last one I submitted. Can you send me the different ones and what they are for? (Obviously the email was longer and didn’t curse).

So as is her normal, she responded with a bitch of an email. Like 4 paragraphs that started with something like “Mrs C, you have been on countless emails where I have sent blah blah blah blah blah. You should know blah blah blah blah blah. It’s not my job blah blah blah blah blah. I sen out an email months ago blah blah blah blah.” And never actually gave me the information. Just said I already had it and should know it. And she reiterated that she’s corrected it on my last 4 submissions and she doesn’t call people out on every little thing because she’s not that kind of person. She will only call someone out when it’s a repeated error and so they might need a better understanding of the process.

So I replied back. I did not curse. I was totally politically correct. And I was a BITCH. There were TWO “per my last email”s and one “per your last email” and one quote from her last email that I referred to as the “antithesis of helpful.” It basically came down to “per my last email, I’m a dumbass and never knew that there were multiple of that thing. Per your email, you only point things out when someone needs a better under standing of the process. I’m telling you directly that I need a better understanding of the process. Saying “blah blah blah blah blah you already know” if the antithesis of helpful. I will ask you again as per my last email, please send me the things and what they are for.”

And this isn’t in some vacuum. There’s at least 5 people on this email chain. So one of them pipes in with hey hey hey, lets step back and turn things down a few notches. Why? Because I’m never so rude and it was obvious (on purpose) that I was DONE.

***** Inserted later — oh an earlier that morning she had emailed my boss (without me on it) complaining about my charging overhead on my time card. She was super mean and spiteful and said STRAIGHT OUT that I should not be allowed to work without a direct charge code — even though she had literally started a email complaining about me doing something wrong that morning so she knows I’m working. And she DEMANDED an explanation. Well, my boss is awesome and this snake has no level to demand shit from her — so she COPIED ME in her 5 word response that she had already talked to X about it. So my email of politically correct direct fire also included that she knew, “from her curt email this morning about my lack of charge codes” that I was doing work for programs I was unfamiliar with and that’s why I didn’t know about the things. *****

Has anyone sent me the thingies or where to find them and when to use them? Nope. Still nope. Because that would be helpful.

So Wednesday, I go for an in person meeting. Before the meeting, I swing by my boss’s office to ask her about one of these submissions (new one). Like I said, I try to avoid asking the snake stuff if I can. So we discuss it, she’ll reach out to this other person to get the answer cause neither of us know. And then at the end, she’s like “hey, when this person if making you mad, let me handle it. And NEVER drop the f bomb in an email to her.” And I’m like OK. I curse a lot, but I never curse in email so whatever. Check, boss. And she says that she complained that I kept dropping the F bomb in emails which I suspected to be untrue but couldn’t prove right then. So then we went to our meeting.

So hours later, I get home. I immediately check my emails I’ve sent to her. Nothing. So I PDF every single email I’ve ever sent her and send it to my boss. I tell her I find it concerning that this person has complained about me twice that I know of and that I have not: 1) ever incorrectly charged my time or 2) cursed at her via email. I DID go through my entire chat history with her and had used two curse words (in a year, pretty impressive). I screen capped those two occurrences and attached those as well to be fully transparent.

(For the record, they weren’t AT her. One of them was me AGREEING with her that that was “fucking” stupid of them to do.)

Then, I message my coworker and tell them that this person is a lying snake in the grass! I checked EVERY EMAIL with her in the “To” line and not a SINGLE ONE had a curse word. I used advanced search functions. And coworker says “yeah, but at least we don’t have to deal with her as now we’re to copy boss on EVERYTHING”. And I’m like wait, what? She didn’t tell me that. When did she tell YOU that? And coworker says boss called. And something about a complaint. So I’m like wait wait wait — WHAT?

    So I call my boss. Me and my boss get along great. I’m like um… what’s happening?

    So boss tells me that snake sent an email to HER division director and my boss (who is my division director because I’m missing a lot of people in my chain of command — I refused to take the position of my own boss even though I could). So like she skipped from zero to overboard already by never saying anything to anyone and jumping to directors. So my boss is cool. She says “I can’t SHARE this email with you, but I can SHOW you it.” So she screenshares the snakes email to all these directors. (I screenshot it, don’t tell).

    YALL. YALL.

    YALLLLLLLLLLLL.

    When I got off the phone I SCREAMED for my husband to come look at this. Not that I was screaming at HIM — I was just screaming because WHAT THE FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?

    She sent an email as a victim. That she has sat on this overnight to think about before saying anything. But she’s put up with this for too long. She’s kept it to herself and only talked to AAA about it (*AAA loves my ass, BTW). She tried to ignore it as she’s a peacekeeper, but Mrs C has created a toxic workplace. She can provide “at least 25 emails” of Mrs C being horribly rude and hateful (or something, I refuse to go upstairs to read this lying piece of shit again). That no one should dread work this much and that it has come to where she comes to work in a state of fear. She used all the key words — harassment, fear, toxic work environment.

    Coincidence that we had training on this like last week and she knows the supervisors are required to elevate this up the chain? Oh I think not. She filled that email with so much lies and bullshit and made sure to use EXACTLY the right key words to get my ass in huge trouble.

    Snake came after MY JOB. Like FOR REAL. With an email of LIES.

    LIES YALL. 100% LIES.

    And my boss was ON the chain of emails that started this. And I had already sent boss every email I’ve ever sent this woman. I went through them — they’re all just questions. Mostly when I was super new and didn’t know shit. Absolutely ZERO kick back until that last email. And absolutely ZERO inappropriate language. So I’m like BOSS, you gotta forward that email to her director! I literally HAVE ALL THE EMAILS. If she’s going to accuse me of this, I want receipts! Tell her to provide those 25 emails! I give you full permission to send that PDF of emails out as proof.

    Boss is cool and just trying to calm me the fuck down. She’s like don’t worry about this woman. If it was some other director, we’d have a problem — but her director knows how she is and I know you so we’ve already talked about it. Worst comes to worst, you’ll have to be sat in a room together with us and HR and hash it out. And I’m like “I can’t sit in a room with her and not call her a blatant liar to her face” — Boss says that’s cool as long as I don’t curse.

    So now I’ve been in a panic since Wednesday. Like, my job is not at risk. I know that. My boss loves me and NEEDS me. Also, I have receipts. Crazy snake doesn’t have receipts. I also have receipts of emails I sent my boss complaining about this woman’s unprofessionalism. I wonder if she ever complained about me?

    Like yall, I’m gonna have stroke any minute now. I can’t NOT THINK ABOUT THIS. Husband is like “you can’t fixate on this” and I’m like ‘WOULDN’T YOU?”‘ To which he says yes, and that’s why he knows how bad it is.

    I don’t want boss to sweep this under the rug. I WANT this to go to HR and I want to go pay staples to print out binders of EVERY GOD DAMN SINGLE WORD I’ve spoken to this woman so I can collate and earmark it with colors and put it in front of everyone in the room as MY RECEIPTS and ask her to show where I’ve harassed her? Where I’ve made her “FEAR” me? I’ll even highlight the TWO times I cursed and sincerely apologized because, yes I was wrong. It wont happen again and wish she’d have told me it offended her. And I’ll use one color — maybe green? — to mark all the times she’s praised working with me and how thorough I am.

    Do I need to sign up for the union? Seriously? Like am I being stupid thinking this isn’t HUGE because my boss has my back and these are obviously all lies?

    But honestly, before I sent her every email in PDF format with assurance there were no “F bombs.” — boss probably believed her. Because I do curse casually. So she’s using this one truth — Mrs C is casual and curses a lot to wrap up this huge lie of my harassing her and making her fearful of me.

    Yall, I CALLED coworker so we could speak off the record and prefaced this with, can we talk off the record as friends here? And told her ALL of this. She was APPALLED. She was like — “how can you create a toxic work environment when yall don’t even work together?”

    I KNOW, RIGHT?

    And she’s been on almost every email I’ve every had with this woman. None of them are rude (except for that last one when I purposefully owned her ass). She said that Snake is just mad that I threw her words back at her. She’s like an uncle I have — can dish it all day but can’t take a single bad word back. Husband had already said he same thing. And it is true — everyone knows how bitchy she is and just ignores her.

    Yall, I’M DYING OVER HERE. I know people are pieces of shit. I know it deep down in my soul. But for someone to randomly just go from zero to threatening MY JOB? Holy shit. What kind of person ARE YOU? It’s like, man I’d be less insulted if someone pulled a gun on me to rob me. Like if you shot me, I’d be less insulted. Because on my morality scale, that just makes you a druggie that shoots people. I’d just take you to court and hope you got prison time. To to be so… slimy. So… disgusting. So two-faced. Just… wow. To just blatantly throw out a shit full of lies and threaten someones job because they hurt your feelings, I guess? I mean holy fucking shit.

    This is why I curse so much yall. There is ONE VERSION of Mrs C. I’m never gonna surprise you. You’re gonna be like “yep, saw that coming.” Because holy fuck, these snakes in the grass. At least someone robbing a bank just owns that they are robbing a bank. Does this snake see how bad her actions are? Does she think life is just some game where you can be a “mean girl” and toss around such accusations at your whim? How can you do this to someone?

    I can’t believe I’m so shocked that someone is a scumbag. Like Mrs C, you knew she was a bitch. But yeah, I knew she was a bitch, yeah. I didn’t know she was… THIS.

    You know whats funny? He has now harassed ME. SHE HAS CREATED A TOXIC WORKPLACE. I’m now scared to email HER. How fucked up is that?

    Laugh at my Failure

    Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments on Laugh at my Failure

    Yesterday, I had an email thread I fucked up so very badly, that I’ve been sharing it with people to cheer them up. Because hey, I fucked that up like three ways — you should get a laugh and realize we all fuck up and look like dumbasses sometimes. Enjoy.

    First, if you’re not someone who has known me long enough to realize it — I get words mixed up. I meet a Kevin or a Keith? Fuck no, they’re both 5 letters that start with a K — it’s not happening. My brain cannot process this. This happens a lot where I mix up words based on what they start with — sometimes going so far as to be the phonetic start and no the actual letter. My husband has become an excellent mind reader when I do this. Context clues, people! So with that in your head:

    Wednesday, we had half of a team flying in to tour and meet up with the other half of the team. So I’m tagging along to tag up with my other half. This is an all day event. I’ve told everyone I’m busy all day and my status shows as busy. But I still have my good old leash. It’s a fucking iphone and I hate it because I’m an android person – CAN I GET A PIXEL? It’s half the fucking price! That has nothing to do with this though.

    So where was I? So I get a TEAMS message asking me to email Shelby about the A1111 program funding. OK, I can do that. First, I ask for a last name and they’re like “it’s in your email.” Well, outlook on the iphone doesn’t have a goddamn search feature so is it SO HARD for you to type the damn name? It literally takes less strokes than writing out “It’s in your email.” So I’m thinking ShelbyA but this is a different Shelby. Also, note that I do more budget shit that anything else. I’m a configuration manager with experience as a software engineer and a computer science degree — why am I pushing contract money? So keep in mind also that I’m pushing money for shit I have nothing to do with. I don’t work these programs, I’m just submitting the contracts for the people who do.

    So I email Shelby and ask about funding for the A2222 program real quick during my lunch break. They reply:

    “Ma’am, I’m the POC [Point of contact] for the A1111 program.” Fuck.

    So I’m flustered, embarrassed, and still don’t have a lot of time here to deal with emails so I reply with something close to:

    “Ma’am, I sincerely apologize. I intended to ask about funding for A1111.”

    They reply with the fact that they’re not continuing funding, they told my boss this last week, and….

    “ALSO, I’m a man. Shelby is a unisex name.“

    Fuck me.

    How much dumber can I look to this person? Also, I didn’t even KNOW Shelby was a unisex name. In fact, I didn’t believe it so I googled that shit. Apparently it’s Norse and it means “from estate by the willow.” Ok, Viking name, badass. But how much did you get made fun of in school?

    I’m southern — so when I hear Shelby, it’s Shelby from “Steel Magnolias” played by Julia Roberts. It’s a fucking fantastic, classic movie. If you live in the South, you know this movie by heart. Highly recommend. Look at the cast!

    StarringSally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Daryl Hannah, Olympia Dukakis, Julia Roberts, Tom Skerritt, Dylan McDermott, Kevin J. O’Connor, Sam Shepard
    (I copied this from wikipedia and the links came along. You’re welcome, I guess?)

    Also, the red velvet armadillo grooms cake? That shit is fucking GOLD.

    Anyway, ShelbyA is also a female. I’ve never known a male Shelby. But then my husband points out some fancy sports car named after a Shelby and I’m like “but have you seen Steel Magnolias?” He has not.

    So there you go.

    Update Time!

    Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 6 Comments on Update Time!

    I’m writing this from work.  Unfortunately, I don’t really have anything to do yet.  A lot of time spent on my phone.  I had to up our plan to unlimited data.  I finally got a computer, but I do not have access to the training sites yet.  I’ve tried to go and get access myself to the point where my boss told me to stand down and be patient and that I was emailing the wrong people.  That made me feel a bit bad, but at least I was trying to be proactive.  With her permission, I tried again today and got shut down again by the same people she’s been dealing with.  Ah government speed. 

    Soon I’ll even have a cellphone so the can get in touch with me whenever they want!  YAY!  Well, I’ve managed to avoid a work phone this long.  It was bound to happen eventually.  Tis the cost of my job.  I plan to charge it downstairs in the kitchen so I don’t find myself checking email at odd hours.  The bigger concern with the cellphone is… how to carry two cell phones? 

    Women’s pants pockets are already a joke and now I have TWO?  I got out of carrying a purse and wallet by getting a sweet phone case that holds my license and credit card.  So for well over a year, I’ve only had to take my phone places.  Now I don’t know.  Do I go back to carrying an annoying purse everywhere?  I honestly haven’t figured this out yet.  Suggestions welcome.

    I’m still glad I went government even if I don’t have anything to do yet.  The people I will be working with seem lovely.  The benefits seem to be awesome.  (Though my thyroid pills just became crazy expensive for freaking generic thyroid medication.)  I’m on site everyday even though I have NOTHING to do.  Maybe that’s a reason for being on site.  Like we’re paying you – at least be here.  So OK, that’s fair. 

    One of my engineering certifications expires next month.  I got permission to work on the renewal at work.  Which is awesome, because it’s going to be at least 10 hours.  However, my boss recommended I wait until I can access the training system.  Her reason is that if I pay for it, they will not reimburse me.  But if I request it through the system, they might pay for it themselves.  That’s a couple of hundred dollars so worth waiting to see.  It will also count towards my continuing education in the system if I wait. 

    On another note, everyone keeps trying to give me cats.  Stop it.  They’re not trying to do it FOR me, they’re just trying to get rid of cats.  Even my sister asked me to adopt her two cats.  Yesterday a coworker tried to get me to take his cat since my friend that he’s marrying doesn’t like cats.  There have also been at least two other earnest people begging me to take their cats.

    I get it.  I’m a great cat owner and I am lacking a cat.  I admit that I am a cat lady.  I will get another cat, I assure you.  However, I do not want just any cat.  I don’t want a cute corner decoration.  I want a snuggly cat.  I am a needy person who wants a very needy cat.  Jack was my fuzzy soulmate.  He never let me leave his sight.  I want a cat that likes attention.  I want to play with the cat and love on the cat and cuddle it all night.  I figure my best bet is to reach out to foster organizations to see if anyone has a cat like that needing a home.  A lot of people wouldn’t want a needy cat.  But I’m also just not sure I’m ready.  Not having the chores is nice – but also, I just miss Jack so much.  I haven’t got to where I want “a cat” – I want Jack.  Just Jack.  I want my Jack back.  And no cat can come close to competing with him.

    Oh and next week we’re gonna work on my tattoo sleeve some more!  He’s getting a body and his bowtie next Friday!