Review: Amazon Rashguard #2

First to catch up from these previous posts:

Review: Amazon Rashguard #1

Review: TomboyX’s Ribbed Swim Sun Shield Crop Top LC – Parasailing

“As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.

“However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like.”

So on to contestant number three…. XAKALAKA Women’s Plus Size Zip-Front Multicolor Striped Long Sleeve Tankini Rashguard Top Size 3X Color: 09 Tropic Flo for $32.99

The first question you may ask is, “Mrs C, why would you get this old lady pattern and not the starry sky or the blue gradient?” And to that I say, what the fuck? Did they not have those when I ordered? ‘Cause those patterns are way better. Do I send this back for one of those? What the fuck did I do? I’m seriously considering replacing it for one of those. Why did I order this Golden Girls pattern? Anyway, it’s not about the pattern. Let’s look past that.

So even if I do exchange the pattern, I’d totally keep it. It’s not the same quality as the TomboyX. However it’s also half the retail price and made in Asia. And it has some features I really like. First, the neck hole isn’t trying to choke me. Thank you, neck hole! This doesn’t zip from top to bottom, but the zipper is about 2/3 of the length. I tried it unzipped a bit and it really didn’t make a difference for better or for worse. This one also has fabric that lays under the zipper to protect your skin so when it’s unzipped, that shows rather than more skin. I think it’s a good feature though. So unzipping this one would just be for comfort, not style.

This rashguard is also full length which might make it a go-to if the cropped ones ride up a lot while swimming. It has ruched sides too. That’s a nifty little detail that makes it cute and adjustable. Just tighten up the strings to make it a little shorter if you have a short torso. But the BEST feature: This is the only rashguard so far with cups. Is it going to support big boobs? Not really. It’s gonna try, but I wouldn’t count on it. The support is only on the front panels, it doesn’t go all the way around. But it has cup pads! They’re very large and oddly shaped pads. I have no idea why they aren’t rounded, but they’re there. Do you know what that means? NO NIPPLES! Yes, it’s the only one of our three contenders to hide pointy nipples.

So full belly coverage and full nipple coverage. This might be the go-to for public appearances. I do like the quality of the TomboyX better. And I feel that since the support in that one wraps all the way around you, it would be more practical if you’re doing physical activities. But for a cheap fast fashion rashguard on Amazon — 5 stars.

I like it so much that I’m sending Amazon #1 back. I just don’t need this many rashguards. It is the cutest as far as pattern and general look goes. I admit that. It’s cute. However, the quality is so very lacking in that one. I just don’t see myself choosing it over this one or the TomboyX ones.

Seriously though, should I send it back for the blue gradient? Do I look like I should be hanging out with Blanche by the pool?