It is a crochet Brontosaurus. I used Benet Baby Velvet yarn. It is VERY soft. The pattern is from Palana Design on Etsy. It’s the No Sew Mamenchisaurus. I wouldn’t say it was easy. That might have been my yarn choice though. This velvet is crazy hard to see your stitches in. She has videos that are much needed. Especially when I realized she was crocheting in a different direction than myself. That matters. I think the pattern could have been helped by naming where you were (“like 8 stitches around the leg” or “decreases should be on top of the tail”). So my body was a big attempt at me mathing it even so the legs were spaced appropriately. My stitch counts pretty much never matched up, so there was a lot of winging it.
I would also note, this might be considered yarn art and not straight crochet. That’s because I went back on the tail and neck and heavily altered them with stitches after I was done. I made the neck thinner, chiseled the chin, and made the tail taper a lot more. The neck suffered from my stitch count problem. So it was narrower at the base than at the head. So I tightened it up to match the base width. The yarn is so hard to see stitches in that I can get away with it.
That said, I would totally make it again. I would stress less and I would watch more of the videos because yall, she’s not crocheting in the same direction as me and that matters on some parts. I feel like the directions are so confusing because there are so many increases and decreases per row with no indication of where you are in the row. So If I do it again, I’m winging most of it. Now that I know the basic happening, I could wing the body and tail and neck. And if I was focusing on winging it to make it look good and not following the pattern exactly, maybe his head wouldn’t be turning just a little. It doesn’t look bad at all, but that wasn’t something I was aiming for.
This took about 5 sessions. I did the feet with K and K2 while watching a Christmas movie. Then I did the body which picks the feet up (no sew). I did the tail one night. I did the neck and head last night. Then this morning, I shaped it up a bit and highlighted under the eyes.
I love it. He’s may happy purple dinosaur.
Oh and no knocking the pattern! I didn’t design this or figure out how to do the shapes. I love the hump on the back, I love the clever neck hole situation. It’s adorable as fuck. Theirs looks way better than mine! I bet if I didn’t use such a hard yarn, it would have been better. But damn this velvet is so soft.
I would also say that since this is no sew — meaning everything is fully crocheted together, this would be an indestructible kids toy. There are no seems to be torn. Of course you would need to stitch the eyes and not use the plastic ones. But yeah, without the plastic eyes, I’d hand this to a baby no problem.
I’m finally painting the paw print ornaments we did last year. I did a set for Louie and I did one for my brother-in-law’s dog. Here’s a picture but they aren’t finished yet. The clear coat was a disaster. I gotta get it off, touch up paint as required and use a new coat.Â
But I wanted to show them to you. These insanely cheap kits are AWESOME:
These kits are under $10 bucks. It’s an extremely lightweight air-dry clay. Lighter than playdough. You make a little paw print and it dries and boom, paw print forever!Â
Now at just that, they aren’t awesome. You can see one I have one not painted in that grouping. The all white. It’s fun but not attractive. It doesn’t stand out. And Lord knows it’s not gonna be pristine white after you wrestle a fuzzy animal’s paw on it.Â
But… Look at them painted! I use an enamel model paint kit and they look like really nice ceramics. Of course they’re light as a feather and unbreakable, but that’s great for hanging on the tree!Â
Here’s the initial kit with everything I bought years ago to paint some game tokens:
Testors Enamel Paint.
I’ve done these paw prints three times now. Back in 2020, I did Jack. Look how big his paw is compared to Louie! Jack is the red and green and Louie’s are the other three small ones.
I’m repainting two of Jack’s. This red one always needed a touch up on the back where I put it down too wet and some paint stuck to the surface. His silver one has been a little totem I sleep with sometimes. Perfect size to hold in my palm and press a finger into his little print.Â
That’s another reason I think everyone needs to do these. It was adorable when Jack was alive. But after he died, it was a piece of him. A tangible piece. The vets did an ink print and even a sand print post mortem. But I can’t touch those. Also, that’s creepy. I have the good memory of making this with him.Â
Speaking on that memory, I have lessons. Listen, I don’t know if I didn’t read the directions or they weren’t there, but with Jack I just smushed out balls of clay and stuck his foot in it. But this shit sticks to everything like crazy. So I ended up on the floor with flour everywhere pressing his foot into flour, then clay. It was a mess. And they are clearly not circles.Â
The kits come with one big circle, but it’s way too big. Even for the dog print I did there in red and black.Â
So for Louie’s I used a very small glass to punch it out. And this stuff takes forever and a week to dry, so if you fuck it up, mix it around and do some more! I did a bunch for Louie and punched out the 5 best ones and am painting the best three.Â
And this time (last year), I read the directions! Everything sticks to this shit BUT NOT WATER! So you get their paw wet (bowl of water) then press it down. Bam! Then get something with a circle, get it wet and cut it out. The dog paw is lopsided because I used a bowl and couldn’t see the print. And he thought it would be too traumatic to do it again. Which is kinda BS cause dogs love attention. I did Jack’s like 10 times LOL. I think Louie made out a little better.Â
Oh and the nice clean ribbon holes? A straw. Yep. Wet the straw and stab it. If the clay doesn’t come out, no biggie – you can still do more.Â
So yeah, last year we did Louie and BIL’s dog. I’m finally getting around to painting them so they can go on Christmas trees. And, like I said, touching up two of Jack’s. That silver enamel paint is my favorite but it just doesn’t dry solid like the others. So after two years of me rubbing it in my hand, it needed a reshine.
Of course such a small painting project will go fast! Nope:
Why do all craft projects end up vomiting over an entire room?Â
Then, you ever have a jar that is stuck shut but you will have the last word so help you god? Fucking red.
The jar opener and pliers combo started tearing into the metal lid. So I was like fuck it – I’m stabbing it.Â
And it was bone dry. You win this round, Testors.Â
So I had to use regular red paint to be redeemed with the clear enamel finish. Only… The finish was way too old. I mean this kit is over a decade old so the fact that only the gloss was messed up is a great testament. I had just used all the red. So now I ordered more clear gloss (and red – plus a few others I was low on). When it gets here I can try to get the gloss coat off with paint thinner. Then, I assume, touch them up before the new gloss. I hope not too much because I did so good writing the names and dates on the back with the black paint marker!
But yes, this year MAKE THESE. It’s adorable now and a precious memory when they are gone. A little paint and you’re golden! If I like you enough, mail it to me and I’ll use my enamel paint supplies to paint them and mail the back. (Becki, you can have your kids paint them! Then after Christmas of them hanging on the tree, you could send them my way. I could fill in the printed part (if needed) and give it a few enamel coats for permashine)
I have three for each. One for a Christmas ornament (Jack is green on red, Louie is red on gold). One for the living room (Jack is white on black, Louie is white on dary grey). Plus a bonus extra (Jack is black on silver and Louie is black on blue).
So an update on my Fishbone Cactus. I posted about it earlier this week. It had a lot of damage, but I was also so in love with it that I didn’t want to cut it. I loved the long stems! But the damage was pretty bad. I wanted to watch a plant that I love grow. Not worry about needing to clean it up every time I watered it.
Well, I gave it a hair cut…
Now I have a healthy plant though. Look at how much damage I had to cut off!
I did salvage the tips of the damaged stems. I’m rooting them. Maybe I can sell the rooted bits at the next plant swap. Or just hoard it as a new plant…
Back in June (three months ago), I went to the local Plant & Book Swap. I bought some miniature sunflowers, left a ton of books on the free table, and grabbed a cutting from the free table. I have no idea why I didn’t take a picture, but it was about a foot long cutting of a fishbone cactus (see title for many names if can go by). I used google image search to find this out right there at the free table. Technology is fucking AMAZING.
Well, I was quickly enamored with this alien plant thing. WTF is this shit? I can root stuff. FREE PLANT! So I took it home. It was pretty rough with scabbed over areas all over it which is obviously why its owner trimmed it off. I watched a ton of youtube videos and cut it into five cuttings. This was during the great washing machine incident when everything was in the garage and we had a chipmunk problem so one cutting disappeared while callusing over. I followed the rooting instructions to a T. I let it callus for a few days, I put it in a well draining cactus mix. Here’s what they looked like when I moved them inside:
And after three months under my watchful eye, here’s what they look like now:
Yeah. It’s just plumped back up and it’s much brighter green with LESS THAN A CENTIMETER OF A NUB ON ONE SINGLE CUTTING (see blue arrow).
So.
Here is what it looks like next to the fishbone cactus I ordered online that arrived yesterday:
A few things:
Clearly they are different species. The original has much larger gaps in the leaf spurs(?) that are also much sharper. I know multiple different plants fall under this name.
The new plant clearly has a lot of damage. As you can see in the light, some of the stems are soft/mushy in some areas (more transparent — looks yellow in the photo because of the sunlight shining through). I’m not complaining or returning it though. Even if I mercilessly hacked off every damaged stem, it’s still much larger than what I was promised or shown in photos. So I’m cool with that. There are almost double the stems than the photo had and much longer too. And the majority of the stems have new pinkish growth on the ends. So if I didn’t have those damaged stems at all, I’d be thrilled with it. I actually think this is probably just a damaged much larger plant than what I ordered. I don’t mind plant rehab.
It needs to unfurl and relax into place but I’m too impatient and I want to show you my alien plant NOW dammit. I literally transplanted this last night before bed. It’s a little jet lagged and who knows how long it’s been wrapped up tight in that paper wrap.
Isn’t it AMAZING? Like what the fuck is this plant? Apparently it grows in forests in Mexico! I love it! I hope the cuttings grow.
Any advice on the cuttings? Should I nip off the brown bits and hope to spur new growth on the three cuttings that haven’t done shit? They aren’t DEAD, they’re bright plump green. But not a sign of growth in THREE MONTHS on those three. I think I’ll nip one of the three losers and see what that does.
This morning started off with a strange bit. I was up pretty early as I’ve been having horrible sleep lately. I came downstairs and noticed brown blobs through the door glass. The glass very much obscures things so I thought maybe we had a storm I missed and there were a lot of branches down?
When I opened the blinds I saw — GEESE. A fuck ton of canadian geese all over my yard.
So I ran to turn off the alarm and go outside. Here’s one of three videos I took:
I herded them all across the road so they wouldn’t get hit. This is a road people speed down — thankfully it was about 7:30am. One woman stopped and encouraged me to spread my arms to get them to go faster. Since it’s been hot as fuck here, there were ton’s of people using the greenway.
One woman said she lived close to the retention pond by Publix and when she started her walk, they were there. Then another man said they’d been crossing the street back and forth and back and forth. So I figure that they were taking a leisurely Saturday morning stroll from the retention pond to Lady Ann Lake. Approximately two miles. Why would they not fly?
Another passerby in a car pulled into my driveway worried as could be because they were crossing again about a block further down the road. She suggested we herd them to the lake. I was like, they’re gonna do what they’re gonna do and they’re halfway there. I pointed out that it was daylight at least and people weren’t particularly speeding (I said this as approximately 6 cars were stopped waiting on them to cross in the Southbound lanes).
So that’s new. Never seen that in our 9 years in this house.
When I came back inside, I fed Louie. Of course, he wanted to go outside. That is our morning routine now. He wants his food but not to eat it, and then he goes to the back door so he can come outside with me while I tend my pumpkins. As you saw in a previous post, there isn’t much to tend in the pumpkins now. However, I did acquiesce his request. He looked at a beetle:
When he first goes out, he likes to lay down and get accustomed before he starts walking around. Still pretending he can’t walk in the harness hoping I’ll remove it. I did grab some wire and fix my solar lights while he explored.
Isn’t it funny all the trailing plant names? String of Pearls, Bananas, Fish hooks, Dolphins, Turtles — just to name a few! Today, I repotted my something and decided to use Google Image search to identify it. Turns out it is a String of Bananas Plant. Well isn’t that cute? Now that I’ve found out what it is — everyone has all these very fussy instructions on how to care for it.
Listen. If you’ve been to my house in 5, maybe more years — you’ve seen the terrarium on my kitchen table. It’s where my succulents live. They’re in a terrarium because Jack was a plant eater. Louie gives no fucks (typical Louie).
I just buy the little 2 inch pots at the nursery. I’m not good with succulents so when they die, I just pop them out and replace them like a kids goldfish. Nothing to see here. But the String of Bananas was one of the OG succulents in here. It might be the only OG I have.
When I started this terrarium of succulents (before that it had other plants rotated in – including a bonsai which died leaving that square pot), I bought a variety. I wanted different textures and colors. So the String of Bananas would add a little hanging accent. Mom always said you need a Spiller, a Filler, and a Thriller. These would be my spiller.
Well, that damn thing just kept growing. It was like maybe 2-3 inches long when I bought it. It just started to fill the terrarium. Eventually I took it out and folded it nicely and put it back in. Still, it had to come out at some point. So when I did my home office and added hanging plants in the window, I put it in a hanging basket. When it got too long, I’d just fold and swing the trails over the pot to grow down the other side. When I moved it to the bedroom, it looked like this:
A few weeks ago, I noticed little roots growing out of the bottom of the inner pot. Time to get a bigger pot! So tonight, I repotted from that 6 inch to an 8.5 inch. But first, I had to untangle it…
Holy shit, the trails are over 5 feet long, easily! It’s pretty thin though. So rather than wad it all up again, I went chop and prop. I cut it into three sections and rooted the lower two sections back into the main pot. I used rooting hormone and this thing has grown like a weed, so I hope they take. Apparently, it will split in two where it was cut, so I hope to get a fuller plant this way. Then when it’s full and long, I can drape the length over the rod like a window swag. I’m so fancy.
Go go, little Banana Strings.
Hanging Plants Tip: CLOSET ROD
Also, when I went to grab that picture, I saw I didn’t post about hanging plants in my bedroom. WTF? I’ve just been so damn tired and fucking depressed and anxious and all over the place lately. Sorry!
(NOTE: Fuck me, I haven’t posted about my MONSTERA? WHAT? I gotta post that.)
So I decided I need some plants to keep in the bedroom. Only problem was how. That card table was only there temporarily so I could put the plants in there. It was also too far from the window to get great light. I wanted to do hanging plants! Like in my office!
As you can see, I just hung the plants in my office from the curtain rod. The String of Bananas was in here with the Creeping Jenny, but I moved it to the bedroom. Now the Creeping Jenny can shine.
Problem: There’s nowhere to put a center support in the bedroom window. It’s a curved window. It’s over six feet wide. A six foot curtain rod would sag without a center support even without the weight of plants on it. So I brainstormed on it for a while. I pondered. Obviously, if I had tools and resources, I could buy a nice solid curtain rod, cut it to length, and make nice brackets. But we’re trying to do this on the cheap here. I need COTS parts.
CLOSET ROD!
Thin closet rods are rated at 30 and 40lbs. And I can get one the right length from Lowes or Home Depot! So I went to Home Depot to look at my options. I chose a seven foot clothes/closet rod and the least intrusive brackets I could find.
BAM! Hanging plants. I LOVE THEM! And this picture is a month old. The big leaf thing has new leaves, the Christmas Cactus of Friendship was trimmed for propagation (to continue the friendship train) and already has three new leaves coming in. The pot of nothing on the far right is the free zig zag cactus cuttings I got from the plant swap. They haven’t done SHIT. They also haven’t rotted or dried out, though. So I’m waiting it out on that.
I’m super happy with it. My joy was a bit (a lot) dampened by the fact that husband thinks it’s ugly. He’s not against the plants, but he hates how far it sticks out from the window. He wishes I would have just got a table or something. But like, that wouldn’t have worked. I can’t just go find a nice two foot tall skinny couch/entry table that looks nice on a $30 budget. Husband is unreasonable on some things. We can make it better in the future — but I can have SOMETHING now.
I don’t love that it’s so far from the window — but I love having my hanging plants in the bedroom! And I think it was a damn clever solution. I even hung some mementos on the ends. He didn’t even recognize the blue heart necklace pendant he gave me 14 years ago that was pinned under my skirt as my “something blue” at our wedding 12 years ago. Now it’s catching the light in our window. With my plants.
Maybe in the future, I’ll hang a nice rod from the ceiling — or do custom brackets. But for NOW, closet rod was genius. It’s not even sagging at all — even with the new larger pot for the String of Bananas. So if you need a dirt cheap way to hang some plants — closet rod.
I’m really enjoying having indoor plants now that my cat doesn’t give a fuck about destroying them.
An actual custom made Doctor Who production prop from the 2006 Christmas Special featuring my favorite Doctor!
It has the certificate of authenticity with it too!
I’m sure there were hundreds made and used (The Doctor causes an ATM to spew money to create a crowd for a distraction). But to be able to get one 18 years later from an iconic episode – WOW! And it was a Christmas special! And wasn’t this Donna’s first appearance?
And my favorite Doctor! He wasn’t my first Doctor (that was Eccleston), but by far my favorite!
Holy shit, I must now quest to get David Tennant to sign it.
The other day, I watched a whole segment on YouTube from the British Museum about this:
I gotta hang this up. I’ll put my old school 3D glasses with it!
LOOK AT IT! How can I get David Tennant signature? Does he even do CONs on the US?
Also, no I’m not sponsored — I fucking WISH! Bedjet, if you want me to review the travel unit — EMAIL ME. I’m just a hot person who couldn’t sleep and paid a lot of money to try this out.
I don’t like heat.
I’ve always been heat intolerant. I don’t like to be hot. I was told that when I lost weight, I’d be cold all the time. Bull-fucking-shit. I got down to 175lbs and was still hot all the time. So it’s not just fat. I’m just HOT. Then I lost my thyroid which helps regulate body temperature. And it seems that as I’ve aged, I’ve just become more and more heat intolerant. To a medical problem degree. I sweat like a water fountain just standing around. Its embarrassing. AND NOW, I’ve hit the untalked about reverse puberty known as perimenopause. Fuck my life.
A few years ago, I started sleeping with just my fuzzy blanket. It’s a velour blanket. It’s meant to be used between blankets as a thermal layer (trapped air) — but if you use it by itself, it’s just light and fuzzy. It’s made out of foam so it doesn’t hug your body. If you have the fan on, air actually blows through it. So I’ve been making the bed with that under the comforter and sheet and I just throw the comforter aside every night. If I get cold (I do keep a high powered fan pointed at me), I pull the sheet over. This has been my setup for years. I even travel with this blanket.
A few months ago though, I started to get hotter. All of the sudden, I started getting night sweats. We’re not talking a little bit of sweat either. I’d wake up so wet that I’d be immediately freezing (remember, high powered fan pointing at me). I had to take off my PJs some nights because they were just drenched. Like I just got out of the pool kinda drenched. Even in new PJs, I couldn’t go back to bed because my spot in the bed was drenched too! I tried shifting where I slept so I’d have a secondary spot to use. I tried sleeping on a blanket. I figured I could get up and toss the blanket and have dry sheets! But I toss and turn so much that the blanket kept getting wadded up and I just had a wrinkly wet blanket and wet sheets.
I thought this was a temporary situation. I assumed I was just super hyper thyroid and the doctor would fix it. My thyroid hormone level is never correct and our yearly physicals were coming right up. So I had hope.
I’m fucked
Then I got the diagnosis. Perimenopause. No quick fix. This is my life now. Well, it also explains the nightly panic attacks and all of the crazy anxiety attacks. All the stress and crazy. The sweating just standing around. But yeah — the night sweats.
He doesn’t want me to jump straight into hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for medical reasons. Don’t come at me about it. I’m gonna give other shit a chance for a minute. So I started the over-the-counter supplements he recommended. I started researching. I started the internet spiral of researching into echo chambers of crazy. I also talked to the cleaning lady at work.
Yeah, so she came into my office and asked about my tattoo. She has 2 full sleeves and so we were talking about it and she has kids and they think she looks like “the mean mom” because of her tattoos. And I was like “they’re flowers, how is that mean vibes?” So yeah it got into getting older with tattoos and then I was like don’t tell me about older, I’M JUST GOT DIAGNOSED AS PERIMENOPAUSE. And she was like holy shit, you gotta get this Sleep Number mattress pad! It’s fantastic! It was a thousand dollars, but you gotta get it. So I looked it up.
The Sleep Number DuelTemp layer for half the bed is $1,200.00. OOF. Like I’m dying, but I’m also not allowed to spend a ton of money. Yall know my husbands rules! And I just paid $1,200.00 to buy a new salt cell and have it installed when they opened the pool. So *cries*
The Bedjet has entered the stadium.
What about that BedJet thing? Like I’d heard of that before. What’s that about.
I don’t know when or where I’d heard of the BedJet before. They were on Shark Tank and I spend most of my life on the internet, so who knows. I give it a google. Ok, Ok, half the price of the sleep number. But from what I remember, it’s just like a hose attached to a fan that blows under your covers. That doesn’t sound nice. The only part of me that ever gets cold (aside from my face and ears) are my feet. So I really don’t need a fan blowing on my feet. That doesn’t sound nice. Also, I could rig that up way cheaper. But wait — Cloud Sheet? I like clouds. Tell me more.
Perhaps the BedJet used to only have the fan option. In fact the BedJet is just the fan option. But there’s an optional cloud sheet accessory.
Um, did you just fix my only qualm? Ok. I want this. But for $500, I must research. I had questions.
It’s cooling — but there is no cooling mechanism. I get that room temperature air is 20 degrees below your body temperature, but how can you claim it’s cooling if it doesn’t cool air? And why can you set the temperature on the remote if it can’t make it any cooler than the room temperature air? That sounds sus as fuck. Have people used this thing and like it? Does it make you cool? Has anyone with night sweats tried it? It advertises the sweat evaporation as one of it’s biggest benefits. But, most importantly, is there a cheaper knock off that doesn’t have heating? I don’t need a heater.
So enter the crazy echo chambers and why I’m writing a full review. I’m not writing this for the five people who read my blog. I’m actually writing this in hopes that people find it useful. I hope that when people google for BedJet Reviews, BedJet questions, cloud sheet review, cloud sheet questions, anything BedJet — I can give them some answers. Without the crazy. I’m sorry, I just did type a few pages of crazy, but it wasn’t directed at your life choices to not take HRT. Lets review:
REVIEW: BedJet 3 Climate Comfort Sleep System and Cloud Sheet
I ordered the BedJet 3 with remote as that is the current model at the time of writing this. There were options:
The Bedjet 3 with remote for $429 with the 30% off for Mother’s Day Sale — which is now a 30% off for Memorial Day sale. Probably just wait for any random holiday and get this price. (I got this option)
You can get a model without a remote and save about $40.00. This is doable because it is bluetooth capable and there’s a phone app. I did not get this because, from what little I could find of unbiased reviews, the phone app is absolute shit.
You can also buy a certified refurbished BedJet (does not come with remote) from the company and save about $80.00. It does still include the 2 year warranty.BUT it won’t come with the 60 Day money-back guarantee.
You can upgrade to a duel comfort system where each partner has a BedJet to set to their own liking. This is approximately twice the price of a single. Which makes sense. I did not go this direction. I know that husband would have used the hell out of the preheat button, if nothing else. However, husband is “thrifty” — he would not have approved of me buying that if it was just a $50 upgrade. I’ve bought stuff for him before that he made me take back because he didn’t need it. He DOES NOT waste money. So.
I wanted the single system, with remote. For $500, I wanted that 60 Day money back guarantee with free return shipping. Plus refurb means old parts — I’ll go new. Again, I will note that there’s a 2-year limited warranty on all systems which is pretty damn sweet.
When it arrived, I was EXCITED. I’m gonna sleep good tonight! Lets set this up! The setup manual is 5 stars. Top notch. I should add a photo (UPDATE! Photo below. See, I’m helpful). It’s a full magazine size manual. Tons of pictures, big print, glossy pages. Nice.
BedJet Setup
There are two ways to set it up. It has a very small form factor so you can set it under your bed. The whole box can fit if you have 6 inches of clearance. If you have 6 inches under your bed but lower side rails, it can still go under the bed if there’s 3.5 inches of clearance under your side rail. If your bed is freakishly low or on the floor, you can set it on its side to take up less floor space and have it beside the bed. I went under the bed.
I noted in the instructions that it does not recommend using it with an extension cord. I thought that was a bummer because even with outlets on either side of my bed, this cord barely reached my outlet. Why not make a longer cord? But, during assembly, I noticed the air tube has a lot of length. So I could have had it way further back and just stretched out the accordion-style air hose to get the length to the end of the bed. They even sell an extension tube in their parts section, so yeah. WITH the hose extension, you can get 8 feet of air hose. But you might wanna note that if you don’t have a close outlet. There might be a big air tube running across your room or something if the outlet is not on the same wall as your bed.
There are buttons on the unit. I was a bit scared — especially since one had to do with low power mode and has a big warning section in the manual about it. The manual said to follow the instructions on the remote to set it up. It comforted me that, by answering the remote’s questions, it would select the proper power settings for me. Sweet. So I put the batteries in and the remote came on in setup mode. It has a nice sized LED display, so answering the easy prompts was a simple task. Then it was setup and ready to go. I didn’t have to touch anything on the unit.
Note that there is a USB “Expansion port” on the unit. The book says it’s only for factory testing and not a functioning USB port.
So the air hose has a funnel-type attachment that points the air at you. That fits on top of the tube. Then there is a plastic bar that slides under your mattress. On this bar, there are risers. The system comes with 4 risers. These hold a clamp for the air hose to hold it in position against your bed and at the right height. You can add or remove risers as needed until the funnel is at the right height. Don’t worry, if you have a tall mattress, they will send you extra risers for free. How do I know?
Even with idiot proof instructions, I still messed up the setup. I did not include the funnel because I was using the cloud sheet. It worked fine that first night, but I thought it was a stupid design. Also, without the funnel, I had to pull my cloud sheet down further. So I requested some more risers. I also asked why you wouldn’t want to use the funnel with the cloud sheet as that seemed stupid. A heavy set of blankets could easily block the air without the funnel.
Well, I’m just a dumbass. Customer support responded to my email quickly and dispatched a set of 4 more risers at no cost. They also pointed out that I was still supposed to use the funnel with my cloud sheet. I also had a question about that low power setting. The remote asked me if I was using this on a twin bed (which would affect the power setting). I’m not, but I am using a twin sheet. So… do I still answer no? Apparently, you answer by bed size not sheet size. Awesome. Thank you, customer service. Oh, and they said the bed skirt would not affect performance as long as it does not affect airflow.
Is this a good time to mention it’s an American company in Rhode Island? It’s even family owned. Like damn, an AMERICAN product? It’s become an international company now, so I really doubt it’s made in America — but still. I’m impressed. And I was super impressed with their customer service.
So on the second night of use, I had it set up correctly (tough still too low) with the funnel snapped securely into my cloud sheet. It did work better like that.
Review: BedJet Cloud Sheet
The BedJet does not come with a cloud sheet. That is an optional additional purchase. You can use the BedJet as is and just have it blowing under your covers. Either directly on you under your sheet, or maybe between your sheet and comforter. You do you. But I didn’t want to sleep in a wind tunnel, so I opted for the cloud sheet.
The cloud sheet is a duel layer sheet. It’s like a duvet cover, basically. It snaps over the air output and it fills up with air — like a cloud. Get it? CLOUD sheet?
It is 100% cotton and heavy as fuck. I bought the TwinXL sheet. We have a King bed. So there were two options to cover my side only. I could buy the large duelzone sheet and only use one side, or I could go TwinXL. I was concerned that if we shared a sheet, Husband would get too much of my cold air, so I went Twin. I did my due diligence and washed it before using. One nice feature is that you can connect the air hose to the foot of the bed through the sheet — or through the side of the bed through the sheet. It has two options. That’s cool (no pun intended).
So the sheet has one side that is suppose to be touching your body. I wouldn’t be able to tell which was which — but there is a nice contrasting colored patch sewn on one side that says “This Side Down.” Thank you. Well executed and obvious if you have it on upside down.
The duel zone sheet would cover the entire bed but has a seam down the middle. This allows each side to be controlled by a different bed jet. Or one side to just be a heavy ass sheet with no air flow. Here’s our problem though — air seepage. My husband does not want my cool air. He is a little stream of lava and he wants to stay that way. So while only my side of the bed has the sheet, we’re under the same comforter so his side is still getting some air blown over there. Perhaps if he had a BedJet going as well, the air would block it — but since he has no air pocket, my forced air is invading. This sucks. I can’t think of a way to prevent this without a physical barrier. For right now, we have my body pillow between us on top of the comforter. It works. It takes up too much space, but it works. I’m going to get crafty with my friend and sew a long tube to fill with rice or beans or something to make a little skinny weighted tube to put down the middle of the bed. I suppose we could also just have our own blankets and not share the comforter as another solution.
UPDATE 09/04/2024 – I finally made a long sock (out of an old sheet) filled with rice to lay down the center of the bed. This serves to keep the air on my side and not affect his side. It takes up way less space. AND I get my body pillow back. Here’s a picture of the updated situation. My side is turned on so you can see it’s very puffy without any air on his side. Only downside – It smells like rice. A lot. Might switch to a different filling.
Cloud Sheet Cons (Still 100% recommend it though):
My biggest complaint is that the cloud sheet will always feel wrinkly. It’s a sack. There is no avoiding it. I love crisp new sheets that are perfectly smooth on the bed. This sheet is always going to feel wrinkled. Even with the air going, this isn’t a pool float — it’s going to move around with you. I can’t fathom a way for that not to be the case, though.
I wish it came in something other than stark-fucking-white. That could just be me.
The top foot or so of the sheet doesn’t puff air. WTF? You’re already losing length to pull it all the way down to the hose — I want all the air. I guess they assume people don’t want it at the top of the sheet where their shoulder are? Well, I do. If I didn’t want it that high, I could just fold it over.
Cloud Sheet Pros:
So the cloud sheet goes under your covers. You don’t want all that nice air just blasting out of the top of the sheet into the room! You want it directed at your overheating ass. So it works best with covers over it. So as you can see, I have it (per instructions) under the top sheet, comforter, and even an extra blanket over our feet.
Yall, It’s been years since I could snuggle up under the covers in anything but the middle of winter. IT’S SO NICE! It’s so snuggly. It’s so comfortable. And I can use the comforter to block the fan if its too much, or the bright sun in the morning. AND I’M NOT HOT. WHAT? I love this! I’m under the covers, yall!
What I think after using it for two weeks.
I love it. The only problem I’ve had was last night we had severe thunderstorms and the power blinked. So I woke up to my BedJet not being on. I had to use the power button on the unit to restart it because the remote said it couldn’t connect. Other than that, FUCKIN’ A!
I haven’t had the night sweats since I’ve been using it! I’ve had maybe a bit of sweat between my legs on a few nights, but then I just split my legs and I’m cool.
Somewhere I think I read that most people have it set on 74 degrees (F) and I forget what fan speed. Fuck that. I have it at 68.
That brings me to an important topic!
The BedJet does not actually cool air. At all. It has no cooling capabilities. This is not an air-conditioner. It will only blow room temperature air at the coolest. So if your room is above 79, probably not gonna help. BUT, I like that there is a warning on the remote which acknowledges this. If you set it below the room temp, you get this message:
“Based on your current room temp, Lowest regulated setting for cool mode is [x]” — with X being the temperature of air the unit is reading. So think of the cool setting as a “floor.” Don’t go colder than this — that’s basically what you’re saying.
Speaking of remote, I’m so glad I got it! It’s very nice! I have a king bed so plenty of room to have it. It has a small LCD display that shows you the current settings, the room temperature, and the count down to auto shut off. It also shows the unit name (because you can control multiple units with one remote) and the battery power left in the remote.
The only thing I dislike about the remote is that it can’t show you the time. It knows the time and shows you the time when it is not running. However, when it is running, you don’t get to see the time. Still, great remote.
The remote is extremely intuitive. You’ve got your menu button with the direction pad and center select button. Super easy to navigate. This is well written software (IMO). Then “Off,” “Cool,” “Heat,” and “Turbo” settings. Turbo is for preheating your bed before you get in, apparently. See, that would be husband’s favorite button. Then you’ve got the set of up/down toggle-type buttons. One for fan speed, one for temp, one for the auto shut off timer. Super intuitive. Then there’s a “Dry” button. The manual says this is “for rapid sweat drying without being too hot or too cold.” As far as I can tell, it’s gonna blast you at 87 degrees, but don’t quote me on that. I assume “10H” makes the timer jump to 10 hours. Then you have the memory buttons. These are so you can have preset settings you like. Forgot how the fuck to program those? I did too! I so I pressed one and the remote told me how to do it. Good software.
If you care, to program a memory button on the BedJet remote, just get the settings to what you like and hold down the memory button you want to save that too. Then the remote will ask you if you want to save it. So easy.
I also really like that the remote senses motion. So it lights up when you grab it. No need to press a button. You can set how sensitive it is. Mine’s probably too sensitive right now because it lights up when I roll over. I guess I’m a violent roller. Whatever. I can turn that down if I want.
There is a “Biorhythm Sleep Sequence Function.” At first I just ignored this. I mean it’s kinda misnamed because it doesn’t have any feedback from your body. However, I just reread what it does. Basically, you can set the times (based on duration or clock time) that you want your setting to change — with up to 33 changes that will automatically run over the course of the night. Now that I’ve been using it for two weeks, I might try this out.
UPDATE 09/04/2024: I now use the biorythem as a delay. Some nights, I don’t want to get in a cold bed. Like if I have cold feet already. I want to feel snuggly for a little bit. But I can’t not use my bedjet or I wake up in a pool of sweat! Solution? I made a Biorythem and set it to the M3 key. It has the unit do nothing for 25 minutes and then turn on to 74 degrees at 80% power for 10 hours. FANTASTIC.
So I start the night at 68 degrees (no, my house isn’t that cool — I fucking WISH) and 90% fan. Why 90? Well, I want ALL THE FAN but I don’t wanna push my unit. This I like. I also like that I can make a little funnel under the covers by my face and have a wind tunnel blowing across my face. That’s nice. It does blow a lot of air — but it’s true that you don’t feel the air movement with the cloud sheet. The only thing you feel is the vibration of the air being blown in by you feet.
At some point in the night, I get up to pee because I am a female and I drink a fuckton of water. I like to be hydrated. Did I mention I get hot? HYDRATE. So when I get up to pee, I usually find the bed to be too cool. So I slip on some socks I now keep on my night stand and turn it down to 75% fan. On long weekend sleeps, I might turn it off in the morning. I’ve done that twice.
So yeah, this thing WORKS. We’ve been setting the air at 72 degree and I’m sleeping UNDER THE COVERS WITH SOCKS. WHAT? We are gonna save so much on the AC bill this summer! Man, if you combined this with that $1200.00 Sleep Number pad, I bet you’d be in HEAVEN. Totally worth the money. It has a two year warranty. If it just up and dies after that two years, I would totally buy another. (As long as it’s not breaking down and I keep getting this great customer service).
I guess the only other thing to mention is that it has a filter. It’s just a crazy thin piece of foam in the back. Pull off the back cover and there it is. You can totally buy new filters. But yall, they aren’t even trying to rip you off like that. The book just says to clean it off as needed.
I love you, BedJet. Can I travel with this? Do I need another one just for travel? DO YOU MAKE A TRAVEL SIZE? Because there’s no way my perimenopausal ass can sleep without this now. Insurance should cover this. 5 Stars!
But it could still be better. Give me a longer sheet or make the air run all the way to the top. And give me sheet color options.
OH! One more thought. People ask how loud it is. Low hum. I sleep with a Turbo fan on high so this is NOTHING to me. I can’t hear shit over my fan. I’d say this sounds like a fan on a very low setting. I would not say it is loud by any means, but you will hear it.
UPDATE 09/04/2024: If your head is under the sheet, you won’t notice that it is louder, but you will not be able to hear things around you very well.
Also, it blows so much air out that if you fart and have that awesome slip stream by your face — that fart gets blasted out immediately. It’s like the opposite of a dutchoven.
UPDATE: Three Months Later
I’ve been using this nightly for over three months now. I love it. I’ve thrown in a few updates in here that you might have seen — like using biorythem to set a timer for it to come on after you fall asleep.
I had a big problem when my cat decided he wanted to sleep on the jet. I solved this by using two full sets of stackers — 8 stackers so the funnel sits a few inches over my mattress. That way if my cat gets close, I can easily slip my feet under the funnel and he is forced to sleep to the side.
I still wish the sheet was longer or the air went fully to the top. I found myself sleeping unusually high in my bed due to acid reflex and wanting the use the wall to support slopped pillows. Only my legs were covered by air. This was not sufficient for me not to sweat.
The “DRY” function is awesome! It really works! If you accidentally get sweaty, kick it on and it’s really not too hot or too cold. And it drys you off pretty quickly with the fan at 100%. Surprisingly, one night I fell back asleep with it in Dry mode and was comfortable all night.
I’ve fallen into the rhythm of 90% fan on 73 degrees when I go to bed. After I come back to bed after I pee, I change it to 74 degrees at 80% fan. We’ve been able to keep the AC set on 71 or 72 for three months now! I was a 68-degrees-or-I-will-kill-you person before!
I finally made a long rice sock to divide the bed between heavenly air on my side and nothing to stop the lava on my husbands side. This works well enough. Nothings perfect and I don’t see how to avoid this problem without a physical barrier over the covers or using completely different bedding on each side.
100% recommend. I’m seriously considering the travel size for, well, travel. Maybe I’ll put that on my birthday list!
Also, can I get a light grey sheet? Beige? Greige? Something not stark white? Please?
“Well, my days of not takin’ ya seriously are certainly comin’ to a middle.” — Bonus for anyone who gets the ref. Seriously, Fuck Amazon. I’m tired of their Chinese knock off over priced scammy bullshit.
Review: BigMouth Floats are the BEST – Hands Down
BigMouth floats are my favorite. I love them. They send me spam emails. I clicked a spam email about a Memorial Day sale. I mean, I did lose an eggplant last year and the replacement sucked and didn’t hold air well. So I needed at LEAST one new eggplant cause those are my besties favorites.
And the watermelon ring (MY personal favorite), is a few summers old.
This is our 9th summer and I’m only on my second Watermelon — the first being replaced the summer I tried the float holder outside and it faded to yellow. And the flamingo ring’s head doesn’t hold air and the other ring is the Butterfly wings which is so Instagram worthy (LOVE the picture of mom with it!) but not practical. So, like, I need a new mesh float and ring or two.
Holy shit, BigMouth has mesh floats! They have a Pineapple, a Strawberry, and an Ice cream cone! (Edit: Looks like they used to have a Wiener Dog and a Popsicle too.)
Six feet of lounging! SCORE! I’m so tired of buying the eggplants because they’re not a brand, so you get what you get – different nozzles, different quality vinyl. Hell, even the mesh sewn on different sides. So fuck the eggplants, we’re switching. Ice cream is off theme, so I’ll take the two fruit please.
Now, I needed to grab my watermelon. Four feet of swim ring greatness. The float that led to my love of BigMouth. One, it’s huge — not just for adults, but fat adults too. Two, EXCELLENT quality shit. Their floats are a “reinforced PVC” — whatever that means. So they kinda have a matte finish and they’re a nice thick material. So let me just get my watermelon. They have a fuckton of cute swim rings, BTW — most in normal sizes and kids sizes. This year they have a brand collab with squishmallows. Adorable shit. After a few years, I’m over the adorable picture-worthy ones that have heads or trees or mushrooms sticking off them. And the jellyfish was instagram worthy but so so so non-functional. So, just a four-foot ring please…
Ooooo. This year there are tons of big rings! There’s a black and white checkerboard, the watermelon, a rainbow, a red and white lifesaver that says “for vibin’ use only,” a pink lemon(ade), a lime/lemon, and a BOMB! Fuck me, the fuse on the bomb is a cup holder. Oh my god. I know that floating cup holders are in NO WAY functional, but fuck that is adorable. I’ll take a rainbow and a bomb! (Yeah, it says “cannonball,” but cannonballs don’t have a fuse ON the cannonball. I get you though, can’t call it a bomb.)
So I put everything in my cart on the bigmouth site. Now, they have shipping fees. So lets see if Amazon can do better. I make sure I’m purchasing the floats that say “Official BigMouth Store.” The “Shipping From” section says “Amazon.” So we should be good. Free shipping means Amazon is like $5 cheaper. OK, lets do amazon.
FAIL.
So three arrive as expected (in two different shipments):
And then I had to wait on the third without an exact delivery date. Not a good sign. And here we have…
Amazon will happily send you to a third party seller to scam you without telling you about it.
One of these things is not like the others. The H2OGo Fun Lounger! Seriously, Amazon? What the actual fuck? So OK, lets start the return process, I’ll drop it off at UPS and order from the real site — it’s cool. Only, it’s not cool. Since I ordered this from a third party seller, I am not eligible for a refund from Amazon without trying to resolve it with the seller first. WHAT? So I click on message seller and it’s “JellyRoo2.”
WHAT THE FUCK, AMAZON? I made sure I was ordering from the BigMouth store and shipping from Amazon — but you hooked me up with some bullshit third party seller? Why? How? Why didn’t I know?
So I go through the third party seller return process and now I have to package it, print my label, and mail it. Then, when they receive it and verify it is the correct item (hint: IT’S NOT) — I can have my refund.
Let’s call these motherfuckers because typing this has me riled up again.
I just got off the phone with Amazon. I wanted to know how my order went to a third party seller. She told me that I purchased a similar item from a third party seller. I said no I did not. When I click on the item in my order, it takes me to the CORRECT item and look — it says I’ve already ordered it! So this product is exactly what I ordered! It says sold by BigMouth and delivered by Amazon. NOTHING ABOUT JELLYROO2.
So we back and forth. I’ll back and forth all day. And after a while, she explains that sometimes if there is a low stock (in this case 4 units), you will be connected to a third party seller for that item.
So let me get this straight.
I DID, in fact, order this from the legitimate store. When I clicked it and when I checked out, it was the legitimate store. But Amazon decided to fulfill it through a third party. Without me knowing.
…
Let me say that again in like BIG FONT:
I DID, in fact, order this from the legitimate store. When I clicked it and when I checked out, it was the legitimate store. But Amazon decided to fulfill it through a third party.
So, here you have proof of me ordering FROM THE CORRECT STORE. In the first image, you’ll see it says “purchased twice” — that’s because I’ve purchased it again — from Amazon BECAUSE NOW IT’S SOLD OUT ON THE REAL WEBSITE.
See that? And when I move over and click the strawberry, you’ll see I purchased it:
So, yes, I purchased it correctly. From BigMouth’s Amazon front. Two items on THE SAME PRODUCT PAGE from the correct store. One fulfilled correctly and one diverted to a third party seller without my permission for fulfillment.
Ok. I just. I’m stuck on that. I’m stuck. Like. What the fucking fuck? And Amazon won’t refund my money until I go through JellyRoo’s return process. All they can do is guarantee that they will not connect me to a third party seller in the future. I don’t know how they’re gonna DO THAT. Is there a software flag in there about who they scam and who they don’t? Did my account get the “open to scams” box unchecked?
All she could say was that I had to go through the third party seller, they’re sorry, it won’t happen again. I asked if Amazon would return my money if the seller doesn’t. She said yes.
So…
FUCK AMAZON. FUCK THESE CHINESE SELLERS ON AMAZON. FUCK JEFF BEZOS IN THE ASS (unless he likes it like that, in which case make him EAT SHIT. Unless he likes that too, in which case send me an email and we’ll figure something out for that MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD).
Amazon has become completely overrun by chinese bullshit knock offs. And they don’t even care. And now, no matter how careful we are to order FROM THE MANUFACTURER, we might get the knock off anyway. AWESOME.
I ordered this doll when the Barbie movie came out. They released a ton of regular Barbies, but only did a preorder for Weird Barbie. The prototype pictures showed her regular in the box. I was afraid they’d actually box her like that. But she just arrived…
IN THE SPLITS. YAAASSSSSSS!
I was going to be so insanely disappointed if she wasn’t in the splits. Kate McKinnon was fucking hilarious as Weird Barbie. She was integral to saving the world, and she was always in the splits.
Part of me does want to open it up and tape her doing the splits against my computer monitor. So she can forever say “what’s up?” But a bigger part of me sees them on eBay for $300 and thinks maybe she should live in her box. So for now, she’s in her box, on my happy shelves in my office.
