Today was Halloween, also known as my favorite holiday. All the fun of the other holidays, none of the stress! No obligations! Just the good stuff you choose to do.
Obviously, I’ve had much preparation. All of my downstairs is covered in decorations. K2 and I did our gingerbread houses a bit ago. I did Wednesday Season 2, as you know.
Sunday K and K2 came over to carve pumpkins. I did a scary face. Well, Sunday he was scary. Like a bright new evil minion ready for mayhem. Today, he’s more of an older over-indulged boss type that tells the other fresh minions what to do. Hey, a week in jack-o-lantern time is like 30 years in human time. Now he’s more of a corporate evil.
Speaking of corporate evil, today was the end of my second week on the new job. So far I really like my coworkers. The people I work with have very sparse cubes, so I’m pretty sure they think I’m crazy because I moved on in. THEN I decorated for Halloween.
The other night I made up a bunch of goody bags to give out at work. So, I’m obviously repping Halloween today. I was in the break room refilling my water and this guy goes “You have bats on your neck!” I say “yep” without looking up from my water bottle. And then he goes “…wait… are those real?” “Yep.”
Hahaha. I’ve never had anyone comment on the bats much less think they were fake tattoos. But I am new and I was very clearly repping Halloween. So I guess you would assume I’d do fake tattoos. I mean, I would. These just aren’t. I did find it hilarious though.
After work I ran by Panera for husband’s dinner and mom’s blueberry streusel muffin. Yes, I know she liked the APPLE streusel muffin, but they don’t make those anymore. Then I used the last bit of daylight to harvest flowers for my ofrenda while Louie smelled all the things.
Tonight, husband and I played the third episode of Dispatch and I made cake for me and Jack. I put together a gorgeous ofrenda for mom and Jack! Tomorrow is Día de los Muertos, after all.
I grew all the flowers. The orange Mexican Marigold were seeded this year just for this purpose. Not as many grew as I’d have hoped. Next year I’ll do more varieties. All the yellow are actually ones that grew from what I planted last year that seeded itself. They all smell heavenly. I can see why this is the flower for Día de los Muertos. Mom would be pleased with this display.
Mom has her Panera muffin, pumpkin spice coffee (also smells heavenly), and those little candy pumpkins. She loved those. I also made Jack and I cake tonight. Jack fucking LOVED cake icing. So I made us a yellow keto cake with the keto cream cheese icing he could never get enough of. That cat fucking loved sweets. I garnished it with some catnip that Louie doesn’t give a fuck about. I have a ton of plants now because Louie doesn’t bother them. Jack ate ALL THE PLANTS. So he’ll appreciate fresh catnip. Mom will probably give him some muffin too.
Still no Trick-Or-Treaters… ever… at this house.
Bed time for me. I hope Jack visits. I hope he at least knows how much I miss him. Mom’s a human, but Jack’s just a cat. So I hope he knows I’d be with him if I could. Take care of him for me, mom!
So Friday we did some more tattoo work. It was a shorter session. Just about two hours of tattooing.
The plan was for the weeping angel to be a brown statue. I liked how she looked in black and grey though. I also want her to tie into the rose window and should that stone be brown? Mainly, I like her contrast from the rest of the sleeve. Like the pumpkins below Jack and the Jack-o’-lantern lid on my shoulder already get a bit lost.
We decided to color the leaves and then decide. I decided to stick with the greys. Two other artists also thought it looked better in greys. One was even complimenting her on the choice to have it contrast, so I feel like it’s a good choice. And it’s not like we can’t go back and do the brown wash later.
Angel Face
That meant just a two hour session. That was for the best. Cause y’all… YALL. Tattooing the elbow is fucking spicy. You know how hitting your funny bone is hell? Well just fucking needle it for an hour.
I had been dreading this session all month since she did a bit last time. Fuck me, that hurt. I was laying on the table on my stomach (my choice, I had pillows for comfort). So when it hurt, I’d bend up my legs and swish them. But at one point she was like “OK, that’s way too much moving.” So I had to switch to turning away and scraping the pillow right by my ear for distraction.
And like she knew it was gonna hurt and made no pretense that it would not. IN FACT, when she started she literally said “NO MERCY!”
Like, fuck, y’all. And she didn’t just use the 20 shader and do solid color like last time. Naw, she had to do details. Good thing she didn’t run that by me first cause I’d have vetoed it. Oh AND she had to go over the color she did last time because the elbow doesn’t take ink well or something. Jesus.
Both sessions that she tattooed my elbow, I had a huge sweaty hot flash. Not fun.
Then she was shading behind the angel in “hag green.” She was shading up around my armpit and was like “how is this not bothering you?” Naw, fuck man, all my body knows is that you’re almost a foot from my elbow. I even had her go back and shade more there by the arm pit.
I do remember when she did that leaf on my shoulder that it was crazy spicy when she got close to my armpit. But Friday my body was like “anything but the elbow.” I don’t know if my pain sensors were burnt out or temporarily recalibrated, but naw armpit all you want.
Broken Trex Arm.
Saturday, I pretty much had a broken Trex arm. I wanna act all tough. But y’all. I felt like my arm got hit by a truck. I was literally contemplating when I last hurt that much and remembered when I totaled my car and was covered in bruising and spent days in bed covered in ice packs.
I mean, I should still get major bad ass points for doing it though.
We went to the plant show and I couldn’t really carry anything heavy because I couldn’t straighten it or move it far from my side. Devon recommended ice when I told her she beat me up. That helped! That seems so obvious. Severe swelling = ice. Nope. Never thought of icing a tattoo. Even then, there was no hand clapping at the circus that night. Just knee slaps.
It looks fucking AMAZING though. She did an elongated leaf I affectionately call the “Chernobyl leaf” over my fat bump and elbow. This totally camouflages my fat arm! Woot! There was lots of bending and straightening both for the lines and while she was tattooing so it would line up. So when my arm is flat down at my side, normal leaf. I love that she did a detailed leaf there. I’d have vetoed it for the pain, but I like the outcome.
Oh and she covered all of the keloided surgery scar. My arm scars after the skin removal healed weird. They are perfectly flat until you get close to the elbows where they keloided. So on this arm, all of that has disappeared. Damn, keloid and fat bump camo.
The vast area of blank space behind my tattoo had bothered me, now it’s fucking solid. It looks like it wraps. And I love it. I had always wanted a sleeve going in. I never intended to stop where it was. So while it may shock some, I’m fucking jazzed.
Can’t wait to get pictures when the swelling goes down. Writing this on Wednesday and it’s still swollen. Getting into the itchy phase now. Fucking itchy elbow. It looks so fucking amazing. I am an art piece. And chefs kiss on the weeping angel. It’s fire.
Oh and I have a new tattoo tradition! I went by Bucky’s on the way back for a pee break. My car needed a wash so I was probably gonna get one anyway. But when I saw a dollar off per gallon with purchase of a wash? Fuck, sign me up!
It looked like a unicorn was pissing on my car but in a fabulous way.
Unicorn Piss
Like that was fun. And I picked up some delicious BBQ to eat when I got home. For sure doing this every appointment now.
As I death march to my new job tomorrow, lets reflect on some of the nice things I’ve done with my two and-a-half weeks off.
K2 and I did our annual Halloween Gingerbread houses! I went with Wednesday Season 2. Basically, I got the crow cupcake toppers on Vine and was like “what can I do with these…” — Then BAM, Wednesday. So I did her and Enids balcony.
Lots of lessons learned on this one. We both hate the day of dough making and baking. It’s a whole damn day. My oven vent hood was on for song long (I run it when the oven runs because sometimes husband can smell gas upstairs from the oven) that it turned itself off. Yeah. Then I made my own sugar instead of using candy because I needed clear. I did colors in cupcake trays and then poured off the rest to a pan as the instructions for edible glass say. But I think it just got too warm because it was the last to get poured and because there was a bigger mass. So it came out yellowish and not clear. The strings that ran between the cupcake molds are clear, so I think that’s what happened. UGH. So we used UV resin. And that didn’t go great because it was overflowing into each other. And even though the window actually looks great with natural light behind it, the lights inside have an extremely blue glow. And it took over an hour of standing at the stove to make that edible glass. Damn.
I also wanted to make railings for the balcony and I did, but the sugar was too wet, perhaps? I did the roof line bird spikes at the same time as the railing and they dried perfectly. The railing was a no go. I was going to do it again, but… fuck it. We were already three days in. Baking takes a whole hard won day. WHOLE DAY with two of us. Then we did a day to ice our sides before assembling. Then a day to assemble after they dry and finish off details. I decided the stone pillars gave the impression enough for the railings. No one cares but me. I cant sculpt gargoyles either, so we got pumpkins. Enid carved a happy face in hers. Wednesday’s is small and knocked over by the one-eyed raven and yes, that bitch has a silver eye.
I had also done two colors of purple for the roof. I was going to do individual shingles. But the icing was too runny, so I just did this and swirled it. Honestly, that was for the best. Win on that. This would be the end of an entire dormitory so I just cut the back off with the entry door to their room. But it looked so bland and weird that I did it up for Dia De Los Muertos. That’s totally on theme for Season 2 as well.
“I’ve never seen cultural appropriation done with such panache.” – The best Gomez Addams
For Christmas I’m going simple. I want to do obnoxious Christmas colors since I was very refined last year. I want gaudy traditional.
I’m back to my cat diamond art painting. Six panels done now! I like that it worked out that I get to do the black cat and pumpkins the end of October. Probably in to November too ’cause this next week for me is insane busy (New job, Christmas Concert, Physical Therapy, Tattoo Day, Plant Expo, and Circus).
Give me a break, this this has 108,185 square diamonds in 55 colors. Most of which are black. Also, I took a break from this one to do Moon Bats for Drills and Chills:
So I guess it’s back to the grind. It was nice having some time off. I wish I’d have pushed it back further, but I did not. Probably better not to get too happy and content not working.
Making progress on my epic Halloween diamond painting. Five of the 8 panels are complete!
I’m taking a short break to swap to my small diamond painting for Drills and Chills. It’s a Halloween event where you can win prizes! This painting wouldn’t count because you couldn’t start until September. So I’m doing this small one from Michael’s:
You might think I’ll never finish both before Halloween, but I have some time off coming up. Possibly. Very likely.
I might have found a job! It will be as a contract to the government. I’ll be doing hardware configuration management in aviation. It’s working for a temporary boss I had.
The benefits aren’t as good, but they’re better than unemployment! And I love my boss. She won’t be my boss boss cause I’ll be a contractor again. But my boss only cares that I make her happy, so SCORE.
Problem is less PTO and not fronting me ANY. So starting late October with 0 PTO. Awesome.
HOWEVER, it is just in time for me to leave my job with a payout incentive to quit. Right in the nick of time! I have to choose by Tuesday. They wanted to try to get me the offer Friday, but it didn’t come so hopefully tomorrow.
This week, my pool will be closed. It’s been too cold to swim in for like a month. Sad times. However, that means — TATTOO SEASON. I don’t work on my tattoo in the summer because I’m not gonna not swim for weeks. And last year, I was still building my savings back up after building the deck. But this year — it’s ON!
Side note — yes, we are having severe job issues at the moment. HOWEVER, I have saved over double my savings goal and Devon books month in advance and I’m finishing my tattoo, dammit. In fact, If I save another 2k, I’m getting a new phone. But uh yeah — if you know anyone hiring configuration managers — please hit me up. I need health insurance. Now with that depressing bit out of the way…
So I knew what I wanted. Kinda. So with the leaves and stuff, it’s already kinda busy. I feel like my pumpkins are already totally lost in the detail. So we either need to switch color palettes or style or something. But it still needs to look cohesive. So I’ve been racking my brain for months over what to do. Well, I love geometric tattoos but that won’t mesh. I love statues tattoos and she’s already highlighted Jack with some teals — we could get some marble statue look in there. Marble statue… WEEPING ANGELS!
OK, I’m 100% serious that I loved creepy-ass distraught angels in graveyards way before Doctor Who. Back in the day, when I wanted to be buried in a cemetery, I wanted some angel just dramatically thrown over my gravestone a ‘la this Italian one:
Angel of Grief
I mean look at that drama! That’s full on Disney Princess angst. I want someone to be that sad I died. But then I grew up and realized that after a single generation, no one will remember me. So like don’t stick me in a depressing grave no one will visit. Fuck that. Bury me and Jack in the woods with pretty Fall foliage and if we can spring for it — creepy angel statue in the woods on top of me.
But we all know about the Weeping Angels. When Doctor Who was AWESOME AS FUCK. And listen, Eccleston was my first Doctor, but he sucks. Don’t agree? Fight me. Has he even come back for a single cameo or special like EVERY OTHER DOCTOR? Nope. Asshole. Then we got DAVID FUCKING TENNANT! The best Doctor of the modern era! I fucking love David Tennant. I would only love him more if he had done it in his real Scottish accent — *swoon*
Anyway, David Tennant was busy so they had to do a very Doctor-lite episode one-off and the Weeping Angels were created in the episode “Blink.” And they were amazing and terrifying. They should have probably died there because the more they bring them back the more it fucks them up — cause like, you can’t really think about them too hard — but they’re fucking awesome. So combine that with the love I already had for them and YES.
So what if we did a Weeping Angel!? Well, that has to go on the back cause I cant be scaring myself in the mirror. Front? Rose window. Play up the stone work between the glass panels. I fucking love stained glass, so that’s a no brainer. Here’s a quick and dirty “like this:”
No notes. So onto the angel. Like should it just be half the face? Cause you can’t fit a whole statue back there. I had husband take these pictures of me posing so beautifully so I could play with stuff in Photoshop. I talked to lots of people. One of my old coworkers (who I occasionally see at my current job) lent me an ear. He didn’t like just the face idea. He thought it needed more of a transition from my current work so maybe a bare tree limb in front of a full angel statue. But that’s like too small? So I emailed Devon. Devon Grieg, the amazing tattoo artist know as theswiftstorm who has done everything I have. Cause this tattoo session is coming up fast.
She didn’t have any clue what I was talking about in my email. So she scheduled a video call consultation. Cause she rocks. And I’m an overachiever, so I made a whole google album of reference pictures and pictures of my tattoo from all angles (thank you, husband) and some mock-ups of the positioning I was talking about.
So during our video call, she mocked up this:
Obviously, her hands will be covering her eyes cause she’s a Weeping Angel, but this was just a great reference image she found while we were chatting. She was 100% in agreement with old coworker that a bare branch would be the perfect transition to her. And we could fill out around the bottom with leaves like the rest of my arm — but not as sharp and detailed.
She’s an artist who does this shit so I’m so glad I called her in before I went down the panic rabbit hole and just asked her what she thought. She didn’t like coworkers full statue — but she didn’t like mine really either. I gotta say — the composition she’s come up with in like 10 minutes of a video call is AMAZING. I didn’t think of the angled face and I fucking love it. It’s going to be fucking AMAZING. I already said that. But it is.
I’m also super pleased that she is excited about this direction. Originally, there was some miscommunication about me wanting it to be a full sleeve wrap look (it wont actually wrap around, but it will look like it does — there will just be some skin under my arm not tatted). So she never designed it to be full wrap. But that’s what I always wanted. Plus, Jack is centered on my arm — but the back of my arm is so much fatter than the front of my arm so I just need more back there. Like I always wanted a full on covered arm. That’s why I did the shoulder joint — because if you had like a prosthetic arm, it would encompass the shoulder joint. And I wanted my arm to look fully different from the rest of my body. So I was hesitant of what she would think.
But she loves it. Since it’s a memorial tattoo with my precious Jack, she loves the graveyard imagery. Which, it does work. I just like stained glass and Weeping Angels — but having it be a cohesive art piece is also important. Even more important is that my artist is psyched about it so she’ll do amazing work.
The lower part of the arm won’t wrap and will taper down. We’ll free hand some ideas with sharpie in person. I’m thinking kinda mirror the top — the flowers at the elbow and the vines like my back tapering down towards my wrist.
This week, my dumbass job decided that sending me to offsite Agile (the work process) training (which I’ve had three times already) was more valuable than me doing work. It sucked cause I had to get up an hour earlier than usual all week. Then I saw this on Thursday:
You done fucked up A-aron!
NOT. COOL. This is wrong on so so many levels.
First and foremost, one of the rolls is backwards.
Second, there is no consistency here. They are not facing the same way. This is the kind of quality of work you do? Be wrong or right, but be consistent.
Third, the roll placed the correct way will run out first. Because, see, people use that roll more. Because it’s the right way to put the toilet paper. So people who know the correct way it is supposed to be installed (hung? placed?) will be punished and forced to use the cursed roll.
With people hopping on trends and “overconsumption,” a new trendy video is “decluttering” or “Things You Don’t Need to Buy.” I watch these. It’s how I found out about the Stanley thing and now the Weck jars. I just watched one and realized, I have some really stupid, insanely frivolous purchases that make me stupid happy.
Bat Straw Cap
Preface: I never wanted to become the basic bitch with the dramatically overpriced cups. But I did. I hate it. There’s a reason basic people love some shit. I’m so goddamn basic. Give me all the pumpkin spice! But the $40 cup thing is a bit shameful. But I also love my fucking Swigs. Fuck my sister in law for gifting me one (then 2 — especially the cheerleader one cause damn, that’s just NOT ME but it hold 40ozs). Then I bought 3 more. I KNOW! They’re so fucking fabulous. But I try to not take them out of the house due to shame.
The thing I love: So with the Stanley crazy came straw toppers. Now that’s some cute shit. I think I saw a buzzfeed or some list of shit you need (I get a lot of gift ideas from those) that had a fucking ADORABLE ghost walking a ghost dog. It was from a 3D printer on Etsy but they only made them for Stanley’s. I even contacted them to ask if they could make me one to glue to my Swig and they wouldn’t. So the ghost was on the cup lid and his little ghost dog was the straw topper! So fucking cute.
Well, I couldn’t have that one, but I could still have a cute topper, I guess. I know, I was just wasting money at this point. So ghosts led me to Halloween. Then I was gonna get this ghost topper and a bat topper. And you could add an initial! So basic! Then, at the last minute I went double bat cause I’m more of a bat person. Why did I get two? Cause I was already committed to the ghost and the bat and had two in my cart. See how I waste money sometimes?
Turns out, excellent purchase. I fucking love these bats. It’s been about a year and I have used them all year round. ESPECIALLY on that cheerleader Swig. Jesus, it needs the bat.
I fucking love them. And since I have two, I toss them in the dishwasher with the Swig and get a new one when I switch swigs (about once a week — I just drink water at home with them). I never even use them to cover my cap, yall. I just fucking love the bat hanging there upside down on my cup. It’s basically a cup decoration on my shameful $40 cups. AND HE’S ADORABLE.
No regret. (No regret on this Swig cup pattern either, as an aside.) I tried to find the Etsy link but it’s no longer there. I paid $18 for two a year ago.
Bat Straw Cap
Gregory
Gregory is a yard statue. He wasn’t quite an impulse purchase, but I did feel really guilty spending so much on him. At the beginning of this summer, I was searching everywhere for a birdbath I liked. I had been watching market place all winter — I was going places and looking at them trying to find something I liked. That took me to the stone section of Cat Bird Seat (my favorite plant nursery). I saw Gregory. I wanted Gregory and I said NO. I will not. I’m shopping for bird baths, not statues.
Then when I found a bird bath I loved for half the price of used ones on market place, I was so thrilled with my savings that I went back to grab Gregory. And he wasn’t where he thought he had been! That’s when my heart sank in my stomach and I realized I had really wanted the fucking gargoyle. But I was wrong about where he had been and I found him!
He’s not unique. He’s not mass produced, but pretty easy to find online. He’s a stone cast so he’s like 40 or 60lbs (I forget which). After I bought him and researched him, turns out I got a great deal. A lady at the store told me he was a replica of one on Notre-Dame. He’s not. He’s just an art piece. But he’s twice as much online! AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM.
He was going to go outside. But I wanted to enjoy him a bit more first. So I put him by the fireplace. And fuck it, he lives there now. I spend most of my time in here so I get to see him all the time. I love himb. I think I love that 1) He’s a fucking gargoyle. I need more gargoyles in my life and especially my house. 2) He’s not a mean gargoyle. He just looks bored? Perturbed? 3) He looks that that super cheesy cherub painting that was huge in the 90s but he’s a fucking gargoyle with bat wings.
You will pry Gregory from my fireplace over my cold dead hands.
Gregory
Sir Bastian
You all know Sir Bastian. No notes. He’s fucking fabulous. One day, I will find his mate that I still regret not buying. He holds a sword.
Oh! And after having the automatic candles in the windows at Christmas the past two years, I had an idea! See, I have 2 extra candles that I put in the basket that Sir Bastian holds (he gets seasonal decorations sometimes. At Christmas, his flail rests in a basket filled with ornaments and candles). So last year I realized — Sir Bastian is hollow. WHY HAVEN’T I PUT A CANDLE IN HIS HEAD FOR HALLOWEEN? How fucking creepy would that be!? So that’s happening this year.
Sir Bastian
Honorable Mention From 20 Years Ago:
I saw this when I moved it to take the bat straw cap picture. And I realized — it’s one. I’ve had this since my very first apartment. So around 20 years. I remember it came from Kirklands. There was a set of these for a kitchen. I’m pretty sure there was a “coffee” and I forget what else. I had no interest in the set. Just toast. I don’t know what humors me about a framed picture that says “toast” but it still humors me 20 years later. It think it might be partially because without the companions, it’s just kinda funny to me. I like the typeface. It’s really nicely framed. It seems somewhat Irreverent. I wouldn’t say I LOVE it, but I’ve had it in every kitchen for all these years because something about it tickles me.
Toast. Circa 2007?
Conclusion
So yeah, don’t buy shit just because it’s trendy. But maybe spend the extra bucks when you really want something. Was Gregory worth $100? In hindsight — fuck yes, he was. I fucking love him. Same with Sir Bastian. Be you. Buy shit that makes you happy even if you “know” it’s a waste of money. Be weird.
Are you telling me that the new trendy drinking vessel (AKA Stanley) is weck canning jars?
Bitch, if I handed you a jar to drink out of two months ago, you’d have snubbed me! WTF? JARS? You got plenty of jars. Or just mugs. Like remember mugs? But I guess mugs aren’t clear. But you got jars. You got marinara jars, pickle jars, salsa jars. Look here’s me seasoning my compost with a salsa jar just yesterday:
I threw that jar away because I’ve got a whole box of glass to recycle already cause there isn’t a glass recycling that’s convenient to me.
This is the SOUTH. We’ve been drinking out of jars our whole lives. We grew up with the OG of drink jars: Bama Jelly jars. That’s right. These bitches:
They came with Jelly in them in the 80s and then they became glasses. You know how many of these we had growing up? My momma’s whole fucking kitchen was goose themed and these jars are my childhood. The kitchen also had a yellow linoleum floor. Because it was the 80s.
Yall are insane. INSANE. People can’t even get their hands on fucking jars right now because they’re a trend.
Some peoples whole drinking glass collections are just jars and you’d have treated them like white trash last month. Go to the thrift store! Go to the grocery store and get a jar with something good in it and then rinse it out.
Also. Labubu’s are fucking ugly. Why does it look like it’s about to wield a knife?
Hi! I just need to.. get this out of my chest. I’ve been passing for a very bad time of my life this year. I had no job since December. I had two painful losses and… idk my mind was in a very dark place plus I was depending completely on my stash because without a job I cannot make any purchases. So… this beauty… “Princess and the pea kitty” is out of stock. I am from Mexico so I’m not able to buy it in the destash group. So… it was on Amazon and every day I was pending on the stock. Today I finally receive my first paycheck since I got a job last week and with my card ready to buy it… I entered to Amazon site and… sold out. Nothing… I’m so sad. I cried like a baby I swear. Idk why I wanted it so bad and idk why I felt it like the biggest disappointment but trust me… I’m heart broken.
I sent an email to DAC just to know if maybe by any chance they had 1 left but…
So Diamond Art Club kits are huge and like over $75. But they have some small ones on Amazon. This one was like $25 at full price. I know because it’s the only square drill one Amazon had (their website only sells big ones) and I wanted to practice with the squares before I start my behemoth one. But I didn’t like the style.
The point is, this is a luxury that is not needed, 100%. But it’s an affordable one. She wasn’t aiming for a $100 kit.
So let’s start with spoiler: Like 5 people offered to get it to her (Amazon just had Prime Day deals on these kits, hence it being gone now. So a lot of people probably just bought it cause it was super cheap). So in the end, she’s getting it. She’s very happy. The art community was like fuck me, we got a get her that cat picture. FIND THE CAT PICTURE.
Except for one person.
One comment didn’t understand what the big deal is.
So my question is: are you stupid, have no empathy, or really that blessed?
Listen, I’ve been upside down a few times in life. Like multiple. I’ve been negative money many many times. I got laid off back in 2010 and weren’t no job to be had. So if you’ve never been in this situation, I want to tell you this.
Sometimes you focus on one little thing. Nothing big. You wouldn’t dare hope for something unachievable because your heart can’t handle it if you don’t get there. Maybe you’re gonna eat out with your first paycheck. Maybe you’re gonna get the good milk. Just something that is your focus. And when you get real sad you think about how you’re totally gonna get the good milk soon. That thought gets you through. It’s stupid and little, but it’s also the world.
So for 7 months this girl has been saying, I’m getting that cat picture. And fucking Prime Day puts it on sale the weekend before her first paycheck and now it’s gone forever. And she’s distraught and crying because that was her THING. And now she’ll never have the thing! But she went through so much for the thing!
How can you NOT empathize with that? Fuck me, I’ll pay the shipping.
Like is this an internet troll or what? Literally everyone else in the comments is trying to find a copy and offering to help pay to get it to her. And one dumbass doesn’t understand.
I’ve been numbing out my life stress with Diamond Painting. Have you heard of this? Diamond Panting? I kept seeing Diamond Paintings in Amazon Vine. On amazon they can them “5D” which is just so cringe. I don’t know what the hell dimensions they think the 4th and 5th are, but it bothers me. Not my point.
It’s Paint-By-Numbers meets Bedazzling. So no actual artistic skill required. Like less skill than paint by numbers because you have to stay in the lines on that. You’re just sticking the bling on the spots with the numbers. I felt kinda bad about the whole no-skill required thing. Like I’m too good for that, because apparently, I’m an artistic craft snob. But yall, I get why it’s taken off. It’s so fucking zen and satisfying. It’s like when “zen tangles” took off.
Is that two words? “zen tangles?” Or is it like “zentangles?” “zen-tangles?” You remember – when everyone was doing those line patterns we all did back in school on the sides of our notebook pages? But it became like a legit adult art form? Anyway, that didn’t last long. Moving on.
So from what I can tell, Diamond Painting started getting really big around COVID because in lockdown people needed shit to do. We needed tedious shit that was going to take days of work. So it became a thing. Now chinese drop-shippers are on that shit. So that’s how it entered my sphere. So fuck it, I ordered one. Well, I ordered a set of six plant designs. I knew they’d be shit quality but I figured I could use three or four for my office. I say office, but yall know I work in a cubicle so don’t think I’m fancy.
After over a month of waiting, one arrived. Yeah, just one. They changed the listing from the set of six to a single one. And I still have to pay taxes on these Vine items so it was listed at $20 — So I’ll pay like $7 and this piece of shit is NOT WORTH $7. I gave it a 2 star review. Really, that was generous. I gave it an extra star because it had an “AB” diamond. I’m getting ahead of myself.
I had this canvas and like that’s a fuck ton of bedazzling. I was very intimidated. Combine this with the fact that the “tools” kit arrive broken and was absolute SHIT, I couldn’t start here. I know from everything in life that quality is better. This is really true for any art form as well. Talk to a master of any art – seriously like blacksmithing, glass bowling, stained glass, wood working — whatever skill. They will tell you — those expensive tools are nice, but they’re better for the beginners who can’t afford them. If you’re good, you can do your skill with shit tools. They wish they had the good tools when they started because life would be so much easier. So I wanted to get started on a good foot. Something quality.
From youtube videos, I found that they all worship this company called “Diamond Art Club.” Well, lucky for me, Diamond Art Club sells shit on Amazon. So I ordered up a set of non-intimidating coasters. I also ordered some dirt cheap accessory kits. This was an excellent plan. If you want to get started in Diamond Painting, I recommend these things:
Diamond Art Club Coasters (this link is to their website, but they’re cheaper on Amazon in price and shipping — but the section won’t be as great). They’re like $15 on Amazon.
This kit of supplies from Art Dot. It’s got a comfortable pen, diamond trays I like better that then fancy Diamond Art Club ones and a GAZILLION times better than the shit green “boats” that you get with cheap kits (which was broken in mine anyway). It’s also got release papers for when you advance to canvases — must have. It’s got DAC color code label stickers for storage. We got a good roller to smush those diamonds down, a straightener to make it look like you don’t suck, and sealer for a finished project. Yeah — all that under $15. BUY IT.
So then I made this:
IT’S SO SHINY! Not intimidating either. I did this in two evenings, but I’ve done others in a single evening after work. I love that they’re on wood so I can sit on the couch and do them. They even come with cork bottoms. And the Diamond Art Club kits comes with really nice tool kits. A nice pen, better wax, and a nice tray. I still prefer the fat Art Dot pen from that kit I linked though. Also those trays. So soon I did all the coasters in the kit:
I told my Sister-In-Law about this new Diamond Painting thing I was doing. Turns out, my brother gave her a painting for Christmas! She’s been working on it but its very tedious and she wasn’t enjoying it much. So I sent her all the shit to do the coasters. The coasters, the kit, plus extra trays. (Note — that coaster kit comes with great tools so you don’t need the additional tools kit or anything else. The extra tools kit is if you plan to do more stuff like canvases). You can buy 15 Art Dot trays super cheap ($7) but I don’t think you need that many anymore so I’m not going to bother suggesting them. Anyway, all of that sent to her via Amazon was $36. So excellent gift idea there. She did her set of coasters faster than I did! She had one done the night she got the package. They’re very satisfying, yall. Like do it.
At this point I’ve started diamond painting to drown out the family and work stress. So I was ready to conquer the shitty plant canvas. I paid for it, I was going to do it. Here you can see what I’m talking about by Paint-By-Numbers. There are symbols (in this particular canvas numbers) that have a key to tell you which gem color goes there. The canvas is covered in glue. You stick the diamond/gem/drill on the dot. They call them “drills” in Diamond Painting. I don’t know why, they just do.
So it took a long time but I go that canvas done. I used the release papers to section it off. So I think they best method for conquering the canvases is a section at a time. The newer canvases even come with covers that are perforated for you to tear off just a square at a time. So to use the release papers, you just remove the cover all together. Then you place the release papers on small sections so that you can remove just one paper to work on that section. I split this canvas into 12 sections. Some nights I did 2 sections.
This was a BIG learning experience. It was a super cheap kit. So it arrive folded. Yeah. Even after I put the drills on it, there was still a big fold across it. So I knew I’d need to mount it to a canvas board. I had also watched a lot of youtube videos and had too much information for my experience level. I had seen a tip about covering any gaps in the canvas with mica powder. Your girl is a craft queen, I have that! Also, the background had so much white and there was pink wax stuck in there. I wanted to clean it up before the mica powder. I had seen a tip to clean your trays with hand sanitizer because it works amazing at getting any wax out. So I dumped hand sanitizer on it and used a tooth brush. TERRIBLE idea. I don’t know if it’s because these drills were so cheap, but I think I took the shine off.
I pushed forward with the mica powder anyway — we’re in it now. White all over the background. Then I went too far — green on the leaves. Fuck. The green took away the darker colors on the canvas that had shown through and now it looked lighter. So I got black to darken up the dark edges of the leaves. Then FUCK ME, some dripped in the white. God, what a cluterfuck. OK, no way in hell that dark smudge is going anywhere now. So I gotta embrace a color. What would work for the background… purple. The smudge was at the bottom so I started there. I wasn’t loving it. So I decided to just do the bottom. Then I had ruined it like 3 times and should have never fucked with this shit so I sealed it and mounted on the canvas and declared it done. TA-DA!
It looks good in my office anyway.
Then I moved on to a big girl canvas! The leaves had 9 colors. This one had 33!
Look at how fucking beautiful that is! And it’s the good brand, not a chinese drop ship and it really does make a difference. This kit had special drills too! AB means aurora borealis. They have an iridescent coating on top. Also Fairy Dust which have a very fine glitter on top. This one deserve beauty shots:
Here you can see what I mean by working a section at a time. See how I was working a rectangle and doing each color just in that rectangle:
By this time I had discovered Facebook “destash” groups. Even though the big Diamond Art Club canvases are super expensive – they play on FOMO and some people just buy a hundred. So I had seen a kit I loved but was out of stock. I put up and ISO (in seek of) post. Someone offered it to me at cheaper than cost with shipping included. Fuck yeah bitches.
Now this canvas is 40 inches. So a lot. I’m cutting it into 8 smaller sections. Apparently this is sacrilegious. But it also has some people curious. So I might finally dive into youtube craft videos and do a video of how I do it. It’s on the maybe back burner.
I know this will be a huge undertaking and if I try to just power through it, it won’t happen. So I picked up some stuff to do in between sections of the big kit. I got another set of coasters. I ordered some “Mini Dazzles” (link goes to the website, but again they can be purchased on Amazon). I got the 80’s set and already made this cute cassette tape:
I also picked up the most ADORABLE Otter from the good site and a chinese drop ship polar bear. The polar bear has sunglasses and lots of neon colors so it just looks like it would be a fun one to do.
So if you haven’t heard from me in a few weeks, I’ve been under a lot of stress and self-medicating by sticking dots to canvases so I won’t think about what a fucking clusterfuck everything is. The world, my job, my family. It’s all going to HELL. So shiny dots it is.
