Isn’t it funny all the trailing plant names? String of Pearls, Bananas, Fish hooks, Dolphins, Turtles — just to name a few! Today, I repotted my something and decided to use Google Image search to identify it. Turns out it is a String of Bananas Plant. Well isn’t that cute? Now that I’ve found out what it is — everyone has all these very fussy instructions on how to care for it.
Listen. If you’ve been to my house in 5, maybe more years — you’ve seen the terrarium on my kitchen table. It’s where my succulents live. They’re in a terrarium because Jack was a plant eater. Louie gives no fucks (typical Louie).
I just buy the little 2 inch pots at the nursery. I’m not good with succulents so when they die, I just pop them out and replace them like a kids goldfish. Nothing to see here. But the String of Bananas was one of the OG succulents in here. It might be the only OG I have.
When I started this terrarium of succulents (before that it had other plants rotated in – including a bonsai which died leaving that square pot), I bought a variety. I wanted different textures and colors. So the String of Bananas would add a little hanging accent. Mom always said you need a Spiller, a Filler, and a Thriller. These would be my spiller.
Well, that damn thing just kept growing. It was like maybe 2-3 inches long when I bought it. It just started to fill the terrarium. Eventually I took it out and folded it nicely and put it back in. Still, it had to come out at some point. So when I did my home office and added hanging plants in the window, I put it in a hanging basket. When it got too long, I’d just fold and swing the trails over the pot to grow down the other side. When I moved it to the bedroom, it looked like this:
A few weeks ago, I noticed little roots growing out of the bottom of the inner pot. Time to get a bigger pot! So tonight, I repotted from that 6 inch to an 8.5 inch. But first, I had to untangle it…
Holy shit, the trails are over 5 feet long, easily! It’s pretty thin though. So rather than wad it all up again, I went chop and prop. I cut it into three sections and rooted the lower two sections back into the main pot. I used rooting hormone and this thing has grown like a weed, so I hope they take. Apparently, it will split in two where it was cut, so I hope to get a fuller plant this way. Then when it’s full and long, I can drape the length over the rod like a window swag. I’m so fancy.
Go go, little Banana Strings.
Hanging Plants Tip: CLOSET ROD
Also, when I went to grab that picture, I saw I didn’t post about hanging plants in my bedroom. WTF? I’ve just been so damn tired and fucking depressed and anxious and all over the place lately. Sorry!
(NOTE: Fuck me, I haven’t posted about my MONSTERA? WHAT? I gotta post that.)
So I decided I need some plants to keep in the bedroom. Only problem was how. That card table was only there temporarily so I could put the plants in there. It was also too far from the window to get great light. I wanted to do hanging plants! Like in my office!
As you can see, I just hung the plants in my office from the curtain rod. The String of Bananas was in here with the Creeping Jenny, but I moved it to the bedroom. Now the Creeping Jenny can shine.
Problem: There’s nowhere to put a center support in the bedroom window. It’s a curved window. It’s over six feet wide. A six foot curtain rod would sag without a center support even without the weight of plants on it. So I brainstormed on it for a while. I pondered. Obviously, if I had tools and resources, I could buy a nice solid curtain rod, cut it to length, and make nice brackets. But we’re trying to do this on the cheap here. I need COTS parts.
CLOSET ROD!
Thin closet rods are rated at 30 and 40lbs. And I can get one the right length from Lowes or Home Depot! So I went to Home Depot to look at my options. I chose a seven foot clothes/closet rod and the least intrusive brackets I could find.
BAM! Hanging plants. I LOVE THEM! And this picture is a month old. The big leaf thing has new leaves, the Christmas Cactus of Friendship was trimmed for propagation (to continue the friendship train) and already has three new leaves coming in. The pot of nothing on the far right is the free zig zag cactus cuttings I got from the plant swap. They haven’t done SHIT. They also haven’t rotted or dried out, though. So I’m waiting it out on that.
I’m super happy with it. My joy was a bit (a lot) dampened by the fact that husband thinks it’s ugly. He’s not against the plants, but he hates how far it sticks out from the window. He wishes I would have just got a table or something. But like, that wouldn’t have worked. I can’t just go find a nice two foot tall skinny couch/entry table that looks nice on a $30 budget. Husband is unreasonable on some things. We can make it better in the future — but I can have SOMETHING now.
I don’t love that it’s so far from the window — but I love having my hanging plants in the bedroom! And I think it was a damn clever solution. I even hung some mementos on the ends. He didn’t even recognize the blue heart necklace pendant he gave me 14 years ago that was pinned under my skirt as my “something blue” at our wedding 12 years ago. Now it’s catching the light in our window. With my plants.
Maybe in the future, I’ll hang a nice rod from the ceiling — or do custom brackets. But for NOW, closet rod was genius. It’s not even sagging at all — even with the new larger pot for the String of Bananas. So if you need a dirt cheap way to hang some plants — closet rod.
I’m really enjoying having indoor plants now that my cat doesn’t give a fuck about destroying them.
Also, no I’m not sponsored — I fucking WISH! Bedjet, if you want me to review the travel unit — EMAIL ME. I’m just a hot person who couldn’t sleep and paid a lot of money to try this out.
I don’t like heat.
I’ve always been heat intolerant. I don’t like to be hot. I was told that when I lost weight, I’d be cold all the time. Bull-fucking-shit. I got down to 175lbs and was still hot all the time. So it’s not just fat. I’m just HOT. Then I lost my thyroid which helps regulate body temperature. And it seems that as I’ve aged, I’ve just become more and more heat intolerant. To a medical problem degree. I sweat like a water fountain just standing around. Its embarrassing. AND NOW, I’ve hit the untalked about reverse puberty known as perimenopause. Fuck my life.
A few years ago, I started sleeping with just my fuzzy blanket. It’s a velour blanket. It’s meant to be used between blankets as a thermal layer (trapped air) — but if you use it by itself, it’s just light and fuzzy. It’s made out of foam so it doesn’t hug your body. If you have the fan on, air actually blows through it. So I’ve been making the bed with that under the comforter and sheet and I just throw the comforter aside every night. If I get cold (I do keep a high powered fan pointed at me), I pull the sheet over. This has been my setup for years. I even travel with this blanket.
A few months ago though, I started to get hotter. All of the sudden, I started getting night sweats. We’re not talking a little bit of sweat either. I’d wake up so wet that I’d be immediately freezing (remember, high powered fan pointing at me). I had to take off my PJs some nights because they were just drenched. Like I just got out of the pool kinda drenched. Even in new PJs, I couldn’t go back to bed because my spot in the bed was drenched too! I tried shifting where I slept so I’d have a secondary spot to use. I tried sleeping on a blanket. I figured I could get up and toss the blanket and have dry sheets! But I toss and turn so much that the blanket kept getting wadded up and I just had a wrinkly wet blanket and wet sheets.
I thought this was a temporary situation. I assumed I was just super hyper thyroid and the doctor would fix it. My thyroid hormone level is never correct and our yearly physicals were coming right up. So I had hope.
I’m fucked
Then I got the diagnosis. Perimenopause. No quick fix. This is my life now. Well, it also explains the nightly panic attacks and all of the crazy anxiety attacks. All the stress and crazy. The sweating just standing around. But yeah — the night sweats.
He doesn’t want me to jump straight into hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for medical reasons. Don’t come at me about it. I’m gonna give other shit a chance for a minute. So I started the over-the-counter supplements he recommended. I started researching. I started the internet spiral of researching into echo chambers of crazy. I also talked to the cleaning lady at work.
Yeah, so she came into my office and asked about my tattoo. She has 2 full sleeves and so we were talking about it and she has kids and they think she looks like “the mean mom” because of her tattoos. And I was like “they’re flowers, how is that mean vibes?” So yeah it got into getting older with tattoos and then I was like don’t tell me about older, I’M JUST GOT DIAGNOSED AS PERIMENOPAUSE. And she was like holy shit, you gotta get this Sleep Number mattress pad! It’s fantastic! It was a thousand dollars, but you gotta get it. So I looked it up.
The Sleep Number DuelTemp layer for half the bed is $1,200.00. OOF. Like I’m dying, but I’m also not allowed to spend a ton of money. Yall know my husbands rules! And I just paid $1,200.00 to buy a new salt cell and have it installed when they opened the pool. So *cries*
The Bedjet has entered the stadium.
What about that BedJet thing? Like I’d heard of that before. What’s that about.
I don’t know when or where I’d heard of the BedJet before. They were on Shark Tank and I spend most of my life on the internet, so who knows. I give it a google. Ok, Ok, half the price of the sleep number. But from what I remember, it’s just like a hose attached to a fan that blows under your covers. That doesn’t sound nice. The only part of me that ever gets cold (aside from my face and ears) are my feet. So I really don’t need a fan blowing on my feet. That doesn’t sound nice. Also, I could rig that up way cheaper. But wait — Cloud Sheet? I like clouds. Tell me more.
Perhaps the BedJet used to only have the fan option. In fact the BedJet is just the fan option. But there’s an optional cloud sheet accessory.
Um, did you just fix my only qualm? Ok. I want this. But for $500, I must research. I had questions.
It’s cooling — but there is no cooling mechanism. I get that room temperature air is 20 degrees below your body temperature, but how can you claim it’s cooling if it doesn’t cool air? And why can you set the temperature on the remote if it can’t make it any cooler than the room temperature air? That sounds sus as fuck. Have people used this thing and like it? Does it make you cool? Has anyone with night sweats tried it? It advertises the sweat evaporation as one of it’s biggest benefits. But, most importantly, is there a cheaper knock off that doesn’t have heating? I don’t need a heater.
So enter the crazy echo chambers and why I’m writing a full review. I’m not writing this for the five people who read my blog. I’m actually writing this in hopes that people find it useful. I hope that when people google for BedJet Reviews, BedJet questions, cloud sheet review, cloud sheet questions, anything BedJet — I can give them some answers. Without the crazy. I’m sorry, I just did type a few pages of crazy, but it wasn’t directed at your life choices to not take HRT. Lets review:
REVIEW: BedJet 3 Climate Comfort Sleep System and Cloud Sheet
I ordered the BedJet 3 with remote as that is the current model at the time of writing this. There were options:
The Bedjet 3 with remote for $429 with the 30% off for Mother’s Day Sale — which is now a 30% off for Memorial Day sale. Probably just wait for any random holiday and get this price. (I got this option)
You can get a model without a remote and save about $40.00. This is doable because it is bluetooth capable and there’s a phone app. I did not get this because, from what little I could find of unbiased reviews, the phone app is absolute shit.
You can also buy a certified refurbished BedJet (does not come with remote) from the company and save about $80.00. It does still include the 2 year warranty.BUT it won’t come with the 60 Day money-back guarantee.
You can upgrade to a duel comfort system where each partner has a BedJet to set to their own liking. This is approximately twice the price of a single. Which makes sense. I did not go this direction. I know that husband would have used the hell out of the preheat button, if nothing else. However, husband is “thrifty” — he would not have approved of me buying that if it was just a $50 upgrade. I’ve bought stuff for him before that he made me take back because he didn’t need it. He DOES NOT waste money. So.
I wanted the single system, with remote. For $500, I wanted that 60 Day money back guarantee with free return shipping. Plus refurb means old parts — I’ll go new. Again, I will note that there’s a 2-year limited warranty on all systems which is pretty damn sweet.
When it arrived, I was EXCITED. I’m gonna sleep good tonight! Lets set this up! The setup manual is 5 stars. Top notch. I should add a photo (UPDATE! Photo below. See, I’m helpful). It’s a full magazine size manual. Tons of pictures, big print, glossy pages. Nice.
BedJet Setup
There are two ways to set it up. It has a very small form factor so you can set it under your bed. The whole box can fit if you have 6 inches of clearance. If you have 6 inches under your bed but lower side rails, it can still go under the bed if there’s 3.5 inches of clearance under your side rail. If your bed is freakishly low or on the floor, you can set it on its side to take up less floor space and have it beside the bed. I went under the bed.
I noted in the instructions that it does not recommend using it with an extension cord. I thought that was a bummer because even with outlets on either side of my bed, this cord barely reached my outlet. Why not make a longer cord? But, during assembly, I noticed the air tube has a lot of length. So I could have had it way further back and just stretched out the accordion-style air hose to get the length to the end of the bed. They even sell an extension tube in their parts section, so yeah. WITH the hose extension, you can get 8 feet of air hose. But you might wanna note that if you don’t have a close outlet. There might be a big air tube running across your room or something if the outlet is not on the same wall as your bed.
There are buttons on the unit. I was a bit scared — especially since one had to do with low power mode and has a big warning section in the manual about it. The manual said to follow the instructions on the remote to set it up. It comforted me that, by answering the remote’s questions, it would select the proper power settings for me. Sweet. So I put the batteries in and the remote came on in setup mode. It has a nice sized LED display, so answering the easy prompts was a simple task. Then it was setup and ready to go. I didn’t have to touch anything on the unit.
Note that there is a USB “Expansion port” on the unit. The book says it’s only for factory testing and not a functioning USB port.
So the air hose has a funnel-type attachment that points the air at you. That fits on top of the tube. Then there is a plastic bar that slides under your mattress. On this bar, there are risers. The system comes with 4 risers. These hold a clamp for the air hose to hold it in position against your bed and at the right height. You can add or remove risers as needed until the funnel is at the right height. Don’t worry, if you have a tall mattress, they will send you extra risers for free. How do I know?
Even with idiot proof instructions, I still messed up the setup. I did not include the funnel because I was using the cloud sheet. It worked fine that first night, but I thought it was a stupid design. Also, without the funnel, I had to pull my cloud sheet down further. So I requested some more risers. I also asked why you wouldn’t want to use the funnel with the cloud sheet as that seemed stupid. A heavy set of blankets could easily block the air without the funnel.
Well, I’m just a dumbass. Customer support responded to my email quickly and dispatched a set of 4 more risers at no cost. They also pointed out that I was still supposed to use the funnel with my cloud sheet. I also had a question about that low power setting. The remote asked me if I was using this on a twin bed (which would affect the power setting). I’m not, but I am using a twin sheet. So… do I still answer no? Apparently, you answer by bed size not sheet size. Awesome. Thank you, customer service. Oh, and they said the bed skirt would not affect performance as long as it does not affect airflow.
Is this a good time to mention it’s an American company in Rhode Island? It’s even family owned. Like damn, an AMERICAN product? It’s become an international company now, so I really doubt it’s made in America — but still. I’m impressed. And I was super impressed with their customer service.
So on the second night of use, I had it set up correctly (tough still too low) with the funnel snapped securely into my cloud sheet. It did work better like that.
Review: BedJet Cloud Sheet
The BedJet does not come with a cloud sheet. That is an optional additional purchase. You can use the BedJet as is and just have it blowing under your covers. Either directly on you under your sheet, or maybe between your sheet and comforter. You do you. But I didn’t want to sleep in a wind tunnel, so I opted for the cloud sheet.
The cloud sheet is a duel layer sheet. It’s like a duvet cover, basically. It snaps over the air output and it fills up with air — like a cloud. Get it? CLOUD sheet?
It is 100% cotton and heavy as fuck. I bought the TwinXL sheet. We have a King bed. So there were two options to cover my side only. I could buy the large duelzone sheet and only use one side, or I could go TwinXL. I was concerned that if we shared a sheet, Husband would get too much of my cold air, so I went Twin. I did my due diligence and washed it before using. One nice feature is that you can connect the air hose to the foot of the bed through the sheet — or through the side of the bed through the sheet. It has two options. That’s cool (no pun intended).
So the sheet has one side that is suppose to be touching your body. I wouldn’t be able to tell which was which — but there is a nice contrasting colored patch sewn on one side that says “This Side Down.” Thank you. Well executed and obvious if you have it on upside down.
The duel zone sheet would cover the entire bed but has a seam down the middle. This allows each side to be controlled by a different bed jet. Or one side to just be a heavy ass sheet with no air flow. Here’s our problem though — air seepage. My husband does not want my cool air. He is a little stream of lava and he wants to stay that way. So while only my side of the bed has the sheet, we’re under the same comforter so his side is still getting some air blown over there. Perhaps if he had a BedJet going as well, the air would block it — but since he has no air pocket, my forced air is invading. This sucks. I can’t think of a way to prevent this without a physical barrier. For right now, we have my body pillow between us on top of the comforter. It works. It takes up too much space, but it works. I’m going to get crafty with my friend and sew a long tube to fill with rice or beans or something to make a little skinny weighted tube to put down the middle of the bed. I suppose we could also just have our own blankets and not share the comforter as another solution.
UPDATE 09/04/2024 – I finally made a long sock (out of an old sheet) filled with rice to lay down the center of the bed. This serves to keep the air on my side and not affect his side. It takes up way less space. AND I get my body pillow back. Here’s a picture of the updated situation. My side is turned on so you can see it’s very puffy without any air on his side. Only downside – It smells like rice. A lot. Might switch to a different filling.
Cloud Sheet Cons (Still 100% recommend it though):
My biggest complaint is that the cloud sheet will always feel wrinkly. It’s a sack. There is no avoiding it. I love crisp new sheets that are perfectly smooth on the bed. This sheet is always going to feel wrinkled. Even with the air going, this isn’t a pool float — it’s going to move around with you. I can’t fathom a way for that not to be the case, though.
I wish it came in something other than stark-fucking-white. That could just be me.
The top foot or so of the sheet doesn’t puff air. WTF? You’re already losing length to pull it all the way down to the hose — I want all the air. I guess they assume people don’t want it at the top of the sheet where their shoulder are? Well, I do. If I didn’t want it that high, I could just fold it over.
Cloud Sheet Pros:
So the cloud sheet goes under your covers. You don’t want all that nice air just blasting out of the top of the sheet into the room! You want it directed at your overheating ass. So it works best with covers over it. So as you can see, I have it (per instructions) under the top sheet, comforter, and even an extra blanket over our feet.
Yall, It’s been years since I could snuggle up under the covers in anything but the middle of winter. IT’S SO NICE! It’s so snuggly. It’s so comfortable. And I can use the comforter to block the fan if its too much, or the bright sun in the morning. AND I’M NOT HOT. WHAT? I love this! I’m under the covers, yall!
What I think after using it for two weeks.
I love it. The only problem I’ve had was last night we had severe thunderstorms and the power blinked. So I woke up to my BedJet not being on. I had to use the power button on the unit to restart it because the remote said it couldn’t connect. Other than that, FUCKIN’ A!
I haven’t had the night sweats since I’ve been using it! I’ve had maybe a bit of sweat between my legs on a few nights, but then I just split my legs and I’m cool.
Somewhere I think I read that most people have it set on 74 degrees (F) and I forget what fan speed. Fuck that. I have it at 68.
That brings me to an important topic!
The BedJet does not actually cool air. At all. It has no cooling capabilities. This is not an air-conditioner. It will only blow room temperature air at the coolest. So if your room is above 79, probably not gonna help. BUT, I like that there is a warning on the remote which acknowledges this. If you set it below the room temp, you get this message:
“Based on your current room temp, Lowest regulated setting for cool mode is [x]” — with X being the temperature of air the unit is reading. So think of the cool setting as a “floor.” Don’t go colder than this — that’s basically what you’re saying.
Speaking of remote, I’m so glad I got it! It’s very nice! I have a king bed so plenty of room to have it. It has a small LCD display that shows you the current settings, the room temperature, and the count down to auto shut off. It also shows the unit name (because you can control multiple units with one remote) and the battery power left in the remote.
The only thing I dislike about the remote is that it can’t show you the time. It knows the time and shows you the time when it is not running. However, when it is running, you don’t get to see the time. Still, great remote.
The remote is extremely intuitive. You’ve got your menu button with the direction pad and center select button. Super easy to navigate. This is well written software (IMO). Then “Off,” “Cool,” “Heat,” and “Turbo” settings. Turbo is for preheating your bed before you get in, apparently. See, that would be husband’s favorite button. Then you’ve got the set of up/down toggle-type buttons. One for fan speed, one for temp, one for the auto shut off timer. Super intuitive. Then there’s a “Dry” button. The manual says this is “for rapid sweat drying without being too hot or too cold.” As far as I can tell, it’s gonna blast you at 87 degrees, but don’t quote me on that. I assume “10H” makes the timer jump to 10 hours. Then you have the memory buttons. These are so you can have preset settings you like. Forgot how the fuck to program those? I did too! I so I pressed one and the remote told me how to do it. Good software.
If you care, to program a memory button on the BedJet remote, just get the settings to what you like and hold down the memory button you want to save that too. Then the remote will ask you if you want to save it. So easy.
I also really like that the remote senses motion. So it lights up when you grab it. No need to press a button. You can set how sensitive it is. Mine’s probably too sensitive right now because it lights up when I roll over. I guess I’m a violent roller. Whatever. I can turn that down if I want.
There is a “Biorhythm Sleep Sequence Function.” At first I just ignored this. I mean it’s kinda misnamed because it doesn’t have any feedback from your body. However, I just reread what it does. Basically, you can set the times (based on duration or clock time) that you want your setting to change — with up to 33 changes that will automatically run over the course of the night. Now that I’ve been using it for two weeks, I might try this out.
UPDATE 09/04/2024: I now use the biorythem as a delay. Some nights, I don’t want to get in a cold bed. Like if I have cold feet already. I want to feel snuggly for a little bit. But I can’t not use my bedjet or I wake up in a pool of sweat! Solution? I made a Biorythem and set it to the M3 key. It has the unit do nothing for 25 minutes and then turn on to 74 degrees at 80% power for 10 hours. FANTASTIC.
So I start the night at 68 degrees (no, my house isn’t that cool — I fucking WISH) and 90% fan. Why 90? Well, I want ALL THE FAN but I don’t wanna push my unit. This I like. I also like that I can make a little funnel under the covers by my face and have a wind tunnel blowing across my face. That’s nice. It does blow a lot of air — but it’s true that you don’t feel the air movement with the cloud sheet. The only thing you feel is the vibration of the air being blown in by you feet.
At some point in the night, I get up to pee because I am a female and I drink a fuckton of water. I like to be hydrated. Did I mention I get hot? HYDRATE. So when I get up to pee, I usually find the bed to be too cool. So I slip on some socks I now keep on my night stand and turn it down to 75% fan. On long weekend sleeps, I might turn it off in the morning. I’ve done that twice.
So yeah, this thing WORKS. We’ve been setting the air at 72 degree and I’m sleeping UNDER THE COVERS WITH SOCKS. WHAT? We are gonna save so much on the AC bill this summer! Man, if you combined this with that $1200.00 Sleep Number pad, I bet you’d be in HEAVEN. Totally worth the money. It has a two year warranty. If it just up and dies after that two years, I would totally buy another. (As long as it’s not breaking down and I keep getting this great customer service).
I guess the only other thing to mention is that it has a filter. It’s just a crazy thin piece of foam in the back. Pull off the back cover and there it is. You can totally buy new filters. But yall, they aren’t even trying to rip you off like that. The book just says to clean it off as needed.
I love you, BedJet. Can I travel with this? Do I need another one just for travel? DO YOU MAKE A TRAVEL SIZE? Because there’s no way my perimenopausal ass can sleep without this now. Insurance should cover this. 5 Stars!
But it could still be better. Give me a longer sheet or make the air run all the way to the top. And give me sheet color options.
OH! One more thought. People ask how loud it is. Low hum. I sleep with a Turbo fan on high so this is NOTHING to me. I can’t hear shit over my fan. I’d say this sounds like a fan on a very low setting. I would not say it is loud by any means, but you will hear it.
UPDATE 09/04/2024: If your head is under the sheet, you won’t notice that it is louder, but you will not be able to hear things around you very well.
Also, it blows so much air out that if you fart and have that awesome slip stream by your face — that fart gets blasted out immediately. It’s like the opposite of a dutchoven.
UPDATE: Three Months Later
I’ve been using this nightly for over three months now. I love it. I’ve thrown in a few updates in here that you might have seen — like using biorythem to set a timer for it to come on after you fall asleep.
I had a big problem when my cat decided he wanted to sleep on the jet. I solved this by using two full sets of stackers — 8 stackers so the funnel sits a few inches over my mattress. That way if my cat gets close, I can easily slip my feet under the funnel and he is forced to sleep to the side.
I still wish the sheet was longer or the air went fully to the top. I found myself sleeping unusually high in my bed due to acid reflex and wanting the use the wall to support slopped pillows. Only my legs were covered by air. This was not sufficient for me not to sweat.
The “DRY” function is awesome! It really works! If you accidentally get sweaty, kick it on and it’s really not too hot or too cold. And it drys you off pretty quickly with the fan at 100%. Surprisingly, one night I fell back asleep with it in Dry mode and was comfortable all night.
I’ve fallen into the rhythm of 90% fan on 73 degrees when I go to bed. After I come back to bed after I pee, I change it to 74 degrees at 80% fan. We’ve been able to keep the AC set on 71 or 72 for three months now! I was a 68-degrees-or-I-will-kill-you person before!
I finally made a long rice sock to divide the bed between heavenly air on my side and nothing to stop the lava on my husbands side. This works well enough. Nothings perfect and I don’t see how to avoid this problem without a physical barrier over the covers or using completely different bedding on each side.
100% recommend. I’m seriously considering the travel size for, well, travel. Maybe I’ll put that on my birthday list!
Also, can I get a light grey sheet? Beige? Greige? Something not stark white? Please?
“Well, my days of not takin’ ya seriously are certainly comin’ to a middle.” — Bonus for anyone who gets the ref. Seriously, Fuck Amazon. I’m tired of their Chinese knock off over priced scammy bullshit.
Review: BigMouth Floats are the BEST – Hands Down
BigMouth floats are my favorite. I love them. They send me spam emails. I clicked a spam email about a Memorial Day sale. I mean, I did lose an eggplant last year and the replacement sucked and didn’t hold air well. So I needed at LEAST one new eggplant cause those are my besties favorites.
And the watermelon ring (MY personal favorite), is a few summers old.
This is our 9th summer and I’m only on my second Watermelon — the first being replaced the summer I tried the float holder outside and it faded to yellow. And the flamingo ring’s head doesn’t hold air and the other ring is the Butterfly wings which is so Instagram worthy (LOVE the picture of mom with it!) but not practical. So, like, I need a new mesh float and ring or two.
Holy shit, BigMouth has mesh floats! They have a Pineapple, a Strawberry, and an Ice cream cone! (Edit: Looks like they used to have a Wiener Dog and a Popsicle too.)
Six feet of lounging! SCORE! I’m so tired of buying the eggplants because they’re not a brand, so you get what you get – different nozzles, different quality vinyl. Hell, even the mesh sewn on different sides. So fuck the eggplants, we’re switching. Ice cream is off theme, so I’ll take the two fruit please.
Now, I needed to grab my watermelon. Four feet of swim ring greatness. The float that led to my love of BigMouth. One, it’s huge — not just for adults, but fat adults too. Two, EXCELLENT quality shit. Their floats are a “reinforced PVC” — whatever that means. So they kinda have a matte finish and they’re a nice thick material. So let me just get my watermelon. They have a fuckton of cute swim rings, BTW — most in normal sizes and kids sizes. This year they have a brand collab with squishmallows. Adorable shit. After a few years, I’m over the adorable picture-worthy ones that have heads or trees or mushrooms sticking off them. And the jellyfish was instagram worthy but so so so non-functional. So, just a four-foot ring please…
Ooooo. This year there are tons of big rings! There’s a black and white checkerboard, the watermelon, a rainbow, a red and white lifesaver that says “for vibin’ use only,” a pink lemon(ade), a lime/lemon, and a BOMB! Fuck me, the fuse on the bomb is a cup holder. Oh my god. I know that floating cup holders are in NO WAY functional, but fuck that is adorable. I’ll take a rainbow and a bomb! (Yeah, it says “cannonball,” but cannonballs don’t have a fuse ON the cannonball. I get you though, can’t call it a bomb.)
So I put everything in my cart on the bigmouth site. Now, they have shipping fees. So lets see if Amazon can do better. I make sure I’m purchasing the floats that say “Official BigMouth Store.” The “Shipping From” section says “Amazon.” So we should be good. Free shipping means Amazon is like $5 cheaper. OK, lets do amazon.
FAIL.
So three arrive as expected (in two different shipments):
And then I had to wait on the third without an exact delivery date. Not a good sign. And here we have…
Amazon will happily send you to a third party seller to scam you without telling you about it.
One of these things is not like the others. The H2OGo Fun Lounger! Seriously, Amazon? What the actual fuck? So OK, lets start the return process, I’ll drop it off at UPS and order from the real site — it’s cool. Only, it’s not cool. Since I ordered this from a third party seller, I am not eligible for a refund from Amazon without trying to resolve it with the seller first. WHAT? So I click on message seller and it’s “JellyRoo2.”
WHAT THE FUCK, AMAZON? I made sure I was ordering from the BigMouth store and shipping from Amazon — but you hooked me up with some bullshit third party seller? Why? How? Why didn’t I know?
So I go through the third party seller return process and now I have to package it, print my label, and mail it. Then, when they receive it and verify it is the correct item (hint: IT’S NOT) — I can have my refund.
Let’s call these motherfuckers because typing this has me riled up again.
I just got off the phone with Amazon. I wanted to know how my order went to a third party seller. She told me that I purchased a similar item from a third party seller. I said no I did not. When I click on the item in my order, it takes me to the CORRECT item and look — it says I’ve already ordered it! So this product is exactly what I ordered! It says sold by BigMouth and delivered by Amazon. NOTHING ABOUT JELLYROO2.
So we back and forth. I’ll back and forth all day. And after a while, she explains that sometimes if there is a low stock (in this case 4 units), you will be connected to a third party seller for that item.
So let me get this straight.
I DID, in fact, order this from the legitimate store. When I clicked it and when I checked out, it was the legitimate store. But Amazon decided to fulfill it through a third party. Without me knowing.
…
Let me say that again in like BIG FONT:
I DID, in fact, order this from the legitimate store. When I clicked it and when I checked out, it was the legitimate store. But Amazon decided to fulfill it through a third party.
So, here you have proof of me ordering FROM THE CORRECT STORE. In the first image, you’ll see it says “purchased twice” — that’s because I’ve purchased it again — from Amazon BECAUSE NOW IT’S SOLD OUT ON THE REAL WEBSITE.
See that? And when I move over and click the strawberry, you’ll see I purchased it:
So, yes, I purchased it correctly. From BigMouth’s Amazon front. Two items on THE SAME PRODUCT PAGE from the correct store. One fulfilled correctly and one diverted to a third party seller without my permission for fulfillment.
Ok. I just. I’m stuck on that. I’m stuck. Like. What the fucking fuck? And Amazon won’t refund my money until I go through JellyRoo’s return process. All they can do is guarantee that they will not connect me to a third party seller in the future. I don’t know how they’re gonna DO THAT. Is there a software flag in there about who they scam and who they don’t? Did my account get the “open to scams” box unchecked?
All she could say was that I had to go through the third party seller, they’re sorry, it won’t happen again. I asked if Amazon would return my money if the seller doesn’t. She said yes.
So…
FUCK AMAZON. FUCK THESE CHINESE SELLERS ON AMAZON. FUCK JEFF BEZOS IN THE ASS (unless he likes it like that, in which case make him EAT SHIT. Unless he likes that too, in which case send me an email and we’ll figure something out for that MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD).
Amazon has become completely overrun by chinese bullshit knock offs. And they don’t even care. And now, no matter how careful we are to order FROM THE MANUFACTURER, we might get the knock off anyway. AWESOME.
For Christmas this year, K gave K2 and I booknooks! And the gift of making them together. It took us 2 full days a month apart, but we did it, yall! Here’s the kit I was gifted:
The Rolife Booknook and Wonderland Garden House. I’ve seen it under two brands on Amazon and non-branded on Etsy. My little stickers even had “Rolife” printed on them so I think that’s the real brand. Plus it was on the box.
We started them on February 10th. It took us a month to be able to get together again and we finished them yesterday. March 10th.
I’m pretty sure my kit was by far the easiest of the kits. But dang, yall. Miniatures are hard. Here’s me questioning if my eye doctor was correct that I should start considering bifocals. Cause good GOD. That shit is so very tiny. Of course that’s what makes the book nooks awesome. The insane amount of details. And this kit was not short on the details. Look at my little shelves!
There are little wooden books wrapped with sticker labels and spines. Flower crates, pictures with frames, tiny flower pots (all 6 pots are different), the tiniest blue rose known to man… Look at it! The window even opens and closes!
Cause, I’m extra, I did do a few changes. Especially today. One, that chair is supposed to go inside and it is just not to scale. No. It is an outside chair now. I also added some extra “area rugs” to cover the marks on the floor where things were supposed to be placed. The basket of rolled papers goes in front of the stairs. Well, that blocks the stairs! How is that functional? And the chair fills the whole thing up. I like it much better less crowded and where I can imagine walking into it. And who doesn’t like an outside chair?
I also added and switched somethings around. Originally, all of the rolls of paper were stickers rolled together. Well, I apparently can’t do that without making them look like shit. So first, I got out some nice paper I had in my craft supplies and used it instead of the bright gingham colors that came with the kit. For the ones with the flower stickers, I put the sticker on the paper and gave it a good roll with the sticker ending up on the outside. Excellent. Oh, and speaking of stickers, I love that little detail of the tulip sticker that looks like it’s a poster that is just draped/fallen over the shelf there.
All of the pictures and intricate details are stickers. Much better than having to glue paper. But MAKE NO MISTAKE, you need glue for this bitch. It doesn’t come with glue, but it is required. Thankfully, I read a review about how you have to turn it over to wire it. Literally almost the very last step is turning it over to wire it up underneath. (Better pray those lights work when you connect the wires!) So everything needs to be glued the fuck down.
The first day, we had to make do with the gorilla glue I had in a junk drawer because only K2’s kit came with glue. For our next round, I ordered fast drying craft glue and tiny pinpoint dispenser bottles so we all had a bottle. PRICELESS. Absolute requirement for this. You think that door had that “glass” in it and trim on it? NO, it didn’t not. It had to be glued on. Parts of these kits expect you to glue a piece on the wall and then stand it up immediately. EXCUSE ME? No. Also, I ordered another pair of longer tweezers. Such a necessity here. I have gorilla fingers, or something. Who the hell can pick up those micro stickers on the drawer labels? They’re so tiny they didn’t even print 1, 2, 3, 4 — they’re all “No. 1.” So, be prepared.
In my extraness, I beefed up some of the plants with fake grass blades. I also added dried moss to all the planter boxes and pots. And do you see my Peacock Ore chips as rocks on display? I threw in a big clear quartz crystal too!
Then today, I saw some of the purple flowers I had dried in my collections of rose petals and it was ON. I ripped out a lot of the 1-dimensional paper flowers and replaced them with the real dried flowers. And where I left the paper flowers (like on top of the blue bookcase), I tucked them in various nooks. It adds so much texture! I even tucked a few petals in the boots with the sprig that is totally Wall-E vibes.
There’s actually a lot of depth in here too. There’s a whole second level balcony in the back with it’s own chest and flower box on top. And a cute railing all around. It’s the layers and layers of details that make it so cool.
Well, plus the lights. The little lamp works and there’s a utility light hanging from the ceiling.
Yesterday, we were exhausted. K2 was here until 9pm. So almost 9 hours straight or work to finish them. But yall, I kinda want to make another. I don’t need one or have a place to put it — but I really enjoyed putting it together! IT’S SO PRECIOUS!
The mouth is pretty jacked up, so ill probably work on that. Also, I feel like the green should have started sooner. Did I do an extra blue row or something? And how did I jack up one leg so badly? I did not notice that at all while I was making it. There are parts of it I am unhappy with, but I think it’s cute. I enjoyed making it. It was very much trust the process because it look JACKED-THE-FUCK-UP until I stuffed it. I should have taken a picture.
I really liked how the designer did the top to split it off into two points — very clever IMO. There are changes I would make if I did it again, but I won’t be doing it again. Super glad I bought an extra skein of blue because I sure did need it. I want to do a red mushroom, but I think responsibly, I should do Mario first so I know I have enough red for him first.
The Christmas blanket saga continues. But I’m honestly thinking of putting it aside. It’s not a project I am enjoying at all. I hate the yarn. I have more amigurumis I want to do — but I also really want to do a sampler blanket in greys. I could pick a yarn I actually LIKE. And each rectangle will be a different stitch. I think I’ll pick like three shades of greys — like this kit on Amazon that I am not going to buy:
1) I’ve had to buy compression gloves because working the Christmas blanket has hurt my hand.
2) I’m not enjoying it. It’s a chore, not a fun hobby.
3) The sampler blanket would let me pick a yarn I enjoy working with and that isn’t so damn hard to work with!
4) I’d get to learn a lot of new stitches. And it would keep changing up and not being a slog because once I finish one rectangle, the next would be totally different.
So yeah, thinking of putting the Christmas blanket aside for more enjoyable projects.
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Also this weekend, I washed the cars! I meant to wash mine inside and out, but I only got the outside done. But I also did Husband’s car. And I put it off for so long that I was still washing at dusk and got to see BATS IN THE BATHOUSE!
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I bought some of these camisoles at Duluth Trading. I’ve been living in them since. I would live in camisoles if I could. I get hot so easy. And if I’m cold, I can throw something on over it. But I can’t live in camisoles because I don’t like not wearing bras around people. I’m sorry, I’m an older generation and I don’t like my nipples showing. My boobs are awesome and do not need support — but I still have pointy nipples. Also, my mom was always braless at home growing up and it embarrassed me. Sorry mom. I wouldn’t have worn bras 24/7 either for my kids. Fuck that.
Anyway — these camisoles have the worthless “shelf bra” built in. BUT BUT BUT — with PADDED CUPS.
Holy fuck, it’s like I unlocked a new life reward. The camisole stays in place — no nip slips. and also NO POINTY NIPPLES.
Yall, they were on sale and I bought one of every color. And when the season changes, I’m gonna see if they have more colors and buy them too. You think I’m kidding? Husband is reading this thinking I spend too much money — honey, have you noticed me wearing that purple one, then the grey one, and now this teal one? Have you seen me wear anything else for like over a week? Do I have too many camisoles? Fuck yes. Burn all the others if you want to use that line of thinking. These are all I want now.
I can go out to the mailbox. My sister slept over and I didn’t have to put on a bra. I can answer the door if needed. No bras or robes required. I can live in my camisole now. It’s fucking amazing. BUY THIS SHIT (Clicky). 10 out of 10, 5 stars all the way.
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EDIT: FUCK, How could I forget? I started my first ever seed babies!
It’s all lemongrass. Lemongrass is crazy expensive, I learned last year. SO I’m just seeding a fuckton of it. It keeps mosquitoes away. I’m also gonna try to grow pumpkins this year!
I mean come on, Dremels are awesome. You can cut wood, plastic, metal – etch glass, sand anything, polish, grind stuff down, drill holes, sharpen your lawn mower blades (I don’t know why I have that attachment). So versatile! It’s not something you use everyday, but it is a life saver. It’s like “oh I have this problem! Whatever shall I do?” “I have a Dremel.“
So the last time I used it for a big project was redoing the mailbox post. We moved our mailbox but I still wanted a house number stand out on the street. A fancy one. I was shopping for them and then thought — damn, I have a nice post out there — it just has a damn mailbox on it. It’s a nice cast iron post my neighbor let us have after mailbox 3.0 (or somewhere in there) went down. And those posts were expensive. So I looked it over and realized the box was only held on by brackets. Cast-iron brackets, but I have a Dremel! And a 100 foot extension cord! So I sawed the brackets off, used the grinding bits to even it up, a new coat of shiny black paint and added a house number plaque! Wha la!
The top is the perfect size for my Dremel with extension attached and a huge pair of safety goggles. I have to have big googles to fit over my cateye glasses. It’s a perfect fit! I even tossed in the manuals in an envelope. The envelope looks fancy but it’s really because they were filthy and bent up from the terrible storage before…
Then, when you open up the front, you have access to 4 individual latching tackle boxes. These are perfect because the short dividers are not permanently set, so you can move them around to make the compartments the size you need.
And yall know, the Dremel comes with a ton of shit. I mean it does do EVERYTHING. I’ve got one tray for attachments. One for sanding, one for more sanding and also polishing, one for cutting and grinding. Look at all this organized shit:
So when I needed to cut some metal last night, I went out to my garage and grabbed my green box. It also has a big sticker that says “Fuck” on it because it’s mine. All my shit was right there. It wasn’t dusty. I didn’t have to look around for what I needed. I even had my safety glasses right there to remind me to use them. It’s perfect.
I’m torn between giving this 4 or 5 stars. In the end, I’m super happy with these. That said, I did do some heavy modifications on them.
My rock collection is small samples. My shelves are 2 inches deep and about 3 inches high. So my display samples are small. These were the smallest stands I could find. I love the super clean clinical look. It doesn’t take away from the stone at all. I like that adjustable arms can be moved to hold different stones. I love the clean look. I don’t want to just set a rock on the shelf. I want it displayed and labeled. I want a clean organized collection. Not just a pile of rocks.
So I thought these would be perfect. They almost were. Hence my considering 4 stars. If I were to use them as is, the only issue I have is the insanely tight fit in the base. One, I couldn’t get all the way in. I pushed on the top peg only and it pushed through the others. So then I pushed down on the lower pegs and that was enough to tear the thin metal wrapping them together. Not noticeable displayed on the shelf, but disappointing. It’s still just not fully inserted.
Now, another fact is that I heavily tweaked these. I need my specimens plus the stand to be around 3 inches. The stand actually holds the specimens a decent height off the shelf. I can’t measure this for you as I’ve already altered mine. I used my Dremel with a metal cutting wheel to take the height off the bottom (Dremels are magic). This allows the lower pegs to sit closer to the acrylic base.
This made me happy for some of my specimens, but wasn’t working for displaying the smaller slices and stones. They wanted to lay down because the arms are over 2 inches long. Time to get out the pliers. I was able to bend the back peg forward according to each stones need to display it exactly as I wanted (see picture). It’s a thick peg so it did require a bit of force.
Now they’re perfect! I added a tiny label to the acrylic and these look great on my shelves! Here are the 4 I ordered and tweaked (see picture). I’m very happy with the final result. I will buy again, but they need modification. I was also very disappointed in the one that tore the metal wrap when I tried to get it in the base. So I’m knocking it down the 4 stars.
So Lumalee is my next project. He has two mushrooms with him. I bought Premiere Parfait Chunky Yarn ($4 US) for these Nintendo projects. And I special ordered the green from Istanbul. Why? Well, it’s damn hard to find baby blanket yarn in bright colors. So I asked the lady I bought the Mario and Luigi patterns from what green she used for her Luigi. Well, in Europe, Himalaya Dolphin Baby is the big cheap chenille yarn. USA doesn’t seem to have it. We have the Premiere Parfait. But we don’t have a bright green! So yes, I ordered this from Europe. It was $2 (US) a skein but shipping was going to be $50 for all the colors I needed. I was like, I can’t pay more for shipping than for the yarn! The seller said they just charge by the gram, sorry. So I ONLY ordered 4 skeins of this “grass green.”
They arrive vacuum packed which was funny. I wasn’t sure what the package was and thought my yarn hadn’t been delivered. Look at this:
This shit compacts. They also threw in some evil eyes. Thanks?
So yeah. I needed to see what crochet hook to use. Some people say 5mm and some say 4mm. I did this mushroom in a 5mm. I’m gonna go with that.
I will also note, the Himalaya Dolphin is WAY BETTER than the Chunky Parfait. They look the same, but working with them is very different. The Dolphin barely sheds at all. Only when cutting. The Parfait sheds a lot and you have to be very careful frogging and stitching is a pain. Shedding all over. LAME. I was easily able to do my magic circle in the Himalaya Dolphin, didn’t even question it. It was IMPOSSIBLE in the Parfait. I had to get out another yarn and do my 6 stitches on that yarn and then tie it tight to make the circle. Cause Chunky was NOT going to do it.
So someone start selling this shit for cheap in the US. Here’s what those 4 cost me. I better get Luigi plus a few 1 Ups. Maybe I should have ordered more? But no, because the shipping went up with every single one. Ugh. Glad I got the 4 though.
Item Total $10.60
Shipping $17.92
Sales Tax $0.85
Order Total $29.37
He very cute. OH, I got the pattern for Lumalee plus two mushrooms from AzeliaCrochet on Etsy. The pattern is well written with lots of pictures.
To really capture the excitement I have over these fabulous rocks, let me transcribe the text messages my three besties and K’s biologist S.O. got from me today: Ehem:
~~~~~~~~~begin~~~~~~~~~
“OH MY GOD. I got my rocks and they are better than I imagined!”
**Insert five more pictures of close ups of the various color groupings — ask if you want to see those***
“There’s three types of Obsidian and they’re so distinct! The Gold Sheen Obsidian doesn’t look special until you hold it up to the light and, well, gold!”
“And what’s the Blue Sand Stone that looks like GLITTER”
“Hematite is heavy as fuck”
“The Opal is so gorgeous”
“OH MY GOD, you have to come over so I can show you my favorites”
“Look at the glitter in this one!”
“This is genius marketing. Like, I know these are the chips that come off [when they’re] making those carved stone skulls and angels and shit. They took their scrap and marketed it and I AM HERE FOR IT.”
“Look at this Citrine!” ***Insert picture of Citrine***
“Look at this, it’s pure black when not in the light”
I suppose they are getting those hippy hits and all the Wiccans with this advertising, but some of us just like rocks, OKAY? Geology is fucking amazing! I can’t afford to actually own all of these beautiful stones. It would be an awesome collection though. It would also be a bit disorderly with stones of different sizes, and how would I label them? But when I saw THIS? Oooooooo ho ho. All the rocks in beautiful uniform little glass jars? Fuck yes. Give it to me.
Fucking genius marketing. Taking SCRAPS and selling them off. They just tossed their scraps in a tumbler (some aren’t even tumbled, actually — but most are).
The little jars are only 2 inches tall. I scoured Amazon for the perfect shelves for them. Honeycomb shelves! Are they made for Essential Oils? Yes. Fucking hippies all up in my shit. Husband gifted me the shelves for my birthday and they look great in my office! I even bought a cheap package of empty vials to set on the shelves (click for link. $8.99 I need an affiliate thing) — but I also plan to fill them with other things. Maybe other stones? Sand from Florida; Sand from Maine. Two are already filled with broken bracelets — one is pearls of different colors.
I arranged the rocks by color for the shelves. First black to white to browns:
Then the prettiest shelf is reds to pinks to oranges to yellow to greens:
Then flowing with the rest of the greens into the blues and purple:
Are the labels jank? Yes. Yes they are. I might fix them at some point. It would be a lot of effort. But I could get some cute tiny printable labels (maybe in silver or gold?) and print them. Then put them on STRAIGHT and at the same level all across. That would also cover the miscellaneous jars I add. It’s an option I am considering. I was going to shelve them with the labels facing the wall, however, I don’t know their names. I also want to show people my favorites. As you can see from the shelf pictures, the Gold Sheen Obsidian and Blue Sandstone are AMAZING in the sunlight, but look bland and black on the shelf. Same with the Garnet and Blood Stone (though it’s more the lighting in the picture for the Blood Stone).
So yes, I am THRILLED. I love them. Guess what else? I rearranged my office today. My desk was facing the window. Theoretically, so I could look out the window. But work let me borrow these huge-ass monitors and I see no window. Also, Feng Shui says you should face the door to be in a position of power.
So I rotated my desk. Now I’m facing the closet and door — really the closet. But, the closet is blocked by my monitors. Now I’m sitting right next to the window with a nearly full view of the pool. And to my left is my wall of happiness — including my rocks.
And believe it or not, I also knocked a big very visible work task off my list today. I fucking love my office. You know what I can do? ADD CAT SHELVES. Husband won’t let me anywhere — BUT NOW I HAVE MY OWN ROOM.
PS #2: I’m trying to change directorates (kinda like getting a new job completely — just less paperwork). If it works out, maybe they’ll let me work more than 2 days from home a week!
PS #3: On researching Blue Sandstone:
“Blue Sandstone (also known as Blue Goldstone) is a man-made stone made up of natural minerals (quartz sand, copper, gypsum and feldspar) Although this stone is man-made, its infused with naturally occurring minerals found in nature”
“Are you referring to the dark blue stone with a shimmering/sparkly star-like effect? If so, it’s also referred to as “blue goldstone” and a couple of other names.
This material is primarily silica glass. Some people make the glass from sand, which is why one name used is sandstone. The elements used change the colour; I think blue goldstone uses cobalt instead of the copper used in the brown version.”
Where have I been for over a month? Crocheting. Stressing and crocheting. And sure, crocheting actually sounds like something I’d do. However, until like last month, I didn’t even know the difference between crocheting and knitting. I knew there was a difference, but not exactly what and which was which. Then Facebook got me.
How? Ads. Facebook kills me with ads. It’s like “you want this?” And I do. So, I don’t know how long ago, it started showing me The Woobles. The Woobles intrigued me. Not only is it a craft — it’s all in one. It includes EVERYTHING you need. So you can try out crochet without buying anything but this one kit. Look at this:
Yes, when the Halloween collection came out and I saw pumpkins and bats, I caved. That picture is for Luna the bat. It comes with beginner “easy” yarn that HAS ALREADY BEEN STARTED FOR YOU, all the colors you need, the stuffing, eyes, and crochet needle. But it also has step by step videos. In the reviews on Amazon, one of the only negative ones was that they videos were too slow and aimed at kindergartners. Bitch, some of us are LEARNING. We need crochet kindergarten.
It took until about row four before I even figured out the “yarn under” thing. Well, the second row four. I had to unravel the first attempt. But I did it! I created a bat! I MADE THIS. I had also ordered the mini pumpkin kit so I made that shit too. I was hooked (no pun intended). I wanted to do more, but all I knew how to make was that bat. But I had some yarn from a previous craft! So I bought a hook sized for the chenille baby blanket yarn and made en even BIGGER bat (stuffing from an old pillow). Holy shit, I’m amazing.
So then, I was like… I like this. I’ve been crocheting every evening while watching the old 90’s TV show “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” It’s simple to follow and doesn’t require a lot of attention. It’s also a cheesy throw back I enjoy. And I’ve been loving it. It’s relaxing. Instead of feeling like I’m wasting my evenings (and therefore my life) away aimlessly clicking on Reddit and waiting to retire — I’m enjoying my evenings. I’m making things again. So I ordered a kit to make a blanket, because what am I gonna do with all these bats?
Then I got antsy and made the penguin kit with his tiny aviator hat. Yall, these tiny kits (the pumpkin and the hat) are only $5 each. SO WORTH IT. Look how stinking cute he is! I’m so fucking good at this! I LOVE CROCHET. Look how fucking adorable that penguin with his hat is! He’s got stubby little wings yall! And a hat! Husband likes him so much it’s on his desk.
Then I started the blanket because I’m gonna knock this right on out.
Yeah… no. This shit is hard. One, that easy yarn TRICKED ME. It was so easy! I thought the chenille yarn was super hard because I couldn’t see my stitches, but I was wrong. This “afghan yarn” is 2 ply and slippery as FUCK. The stitches are sliding all over the place. And it barely holds together. It’s so hard to not stab right through it every stitch. So it’s slooooowwwwww going.
I’m not gonna lie. I thought about giving up on this shit. But NO. I’m gonna finish. This is my first big project and dammit, I’m gonna do it. And yes, I’m gonna fix that first dark green row because jesus, that’s terrible.
I’ve got the five color sequence done two and a half times now. I’ve figured out the yarn — that being that it’s going to stretch out and pull everywhere, just go with it. I’m not having to look at the pattern. And I can see why the pattern is the way it is. It took about 6 rows before the chevrons really started to stand out. I also thought the single crochet rows were worthless (each color is 4 rows) — but now I see. By doing the single crochet row and back stitching everything, the single row ends up completely on the back of the blanket and invisible from the front. This leaves only the two double crochet stitch rows showing on the front. It also makes them look like they’ve overlapping like fish scales. Nice. And this yarn may suck to work with, but god damn is it soft.
So yeah, Woobles. 100% recommend that shit. They were even on Shark Tank! Sure, if you already have the stuff to knit or crochet, it’s over priced. The people saying that already have hooks and shit and know yarn is cheap. But if you just wanna give it a go, this lets you do a whole project with everything. Even the little plastic eye balls! An yeah, I can look up stitches on youtube, but this is the stitches plus a slow step by step guide.
Everybody’s getting Woobles for Christmas!
Here’s my old lady ass crocheting with my cat. I love it!
