This weekend was supposed to be my blissful relaxation time. Four day weekend. Nothing needs to be done. Garage is clean, Both offices cleaned (I even spoofed up Husband’s). Garage and storage room — perfect. It’s too wet to rake leaves. I could put up the new ring camera, but I’ve got months to do that before the pool pump is on. So yeah. Fours days to RELAX.
Has it been that. FUCK NO. Meet my fans:
Yeah, those are industrial drying fans and a dehumidifier that have been running constantly since Friday morning and will continue to do so until AT LEAST 3:00pm on Monday when they come out and check on things. We had a washing machine incident. Downstairs is a stressful disaster. It sounds like Google’s server room and yeah, pieces of my floor and ceiling are missing. I will talk about it later.
Like, yall. Even the fucking cat is stressed the hell out. These fans are LOUD. We’ve all had to retreat to the upstairs. I live downstairs. I don’t like this.
But then, last night, we went out to a swanky dinner to celebrate K and husband looked so cute in his suit! And we got a great posed shot of my tattoo — plus I was looking hot!
I’ve also been working on my rock collection. I’ve added a few more specimens. And yes, I relabeled them all. Now the labels are all at the same level and straight. THANK YOU. I will also post more about this later. I’ve got a big Yooperlite coming in so yeah, there’s gonna be more rock pictures.
I did order more shelves. They didn’t have the distressed white anymore, so I had to order brown. So I had to spray paint them all to match each other. Which mean Walmart. Thankfully, I put out a call and K2 was willing to go to Walmart with me. We got three cans of Rustoleum white semi gloss primer and paint in one. Like one can extra.
No. No. I put the first coats on while they cut up my floor and ceiling. Then I had to run out to ACE before the septic people came to get TWO MORE CANS. Surely I don’t need two more? Yeah. Yeah I did. But they look awesome!
It looks like I don’t have room to expand, but I totally do. I liked it better with an extra vial on each shelf. Plus I mixed in some empty bottles to spread it out. I’m also going to acquire medium (2ish inch) specimens of my favorites. I have a two inch sphere of Yooperlite on the way. Then I’ve got my eye on some Petoskey stones. Then I want to get a natural uncut, UNDYED, Ruby that fluoresces. I’ve found two options I’m eyeing — click 1 and click 2. Obviously, the click 1 there is preferred, but it might sell out before I get to buying that one. I also want some peacock ore…
My shoulder is complete! I just scrolled back and I didn’t post session 5. That’s because I didn’t get any pictures of session 5 after it was complete the day of and then it was under second skin and then peeling and so I never got any good photos. As you’ll recall (click here) after session 4, we had added the blue flowers and outlined the entire top. Session 5 was doing the front flowers and some of the vine on the back. First, pictures:
This session was really exciting! Look at those colors! I originally wanted to do oranges and reds. But I’m so glad we added the blues. And look at that purple dahlia! She did such an amazing job! The flowers just look amazing! Red poppies too. It’s stunning. I can’t believe the colors. I never thought I’d want flowers as a tattoo, really. They’re just part of the sleeve. But, damn. I see why flowers are such a common tattoo theme. They’re just so gorgeous. And look at my curly green vine! So cute!
So yesterday, we had session 6. We finished up everything we had outlined and added the bats. I had worried about the pumpkin lid being too bright, but it look great! And having the full shoulder done just looks AWESOME. It’s exactly what I wanted. The exact coverage I wanted swinging down o my should blade. She referred to it as a “shawl” kinda coverage. But I think of it more as part of the arm. Like I keep saying, if you had an arm replaced cybernetically or even just a prosthetic, the shoulder is involved. So I wanted that. I want the entire arm/should. And I GOT IT!
I’m in love! Look at the vine on the back! I got my swirlies! Love the pumpkins vine on my back. I made sure to get her to send me the photos this time. And yes, Jacks face looks washed out. But keep in mind these are tattoos. Jacks face is over a year old so 100% healed with 30 layers of dead skin cells over it, as your skin should be — it’s natural protection. The front is only a month old so new skin, and the new work is FRESH ink. It will all be similar brightness when it heals.
Oh and the bats look whacky here. My neck was NOT happy about them. So they are actually very swollen and red. The ink is purple and grey and they fade out at the bottom. So they look super dark, but they are not. The top outline is solid but then they fade out in purple and grey — so very ethereal. Today, the swelling is down and the color is lighter, but my skin is still inflamed and there’s blood around them under the second skin so not gonna show you. She said we’d probably have to touch the bats up because my skin was so angry, she doesn’t think it will hold the ink well.
Nothing like the pain of a neck tattoo that might need to be redone! I’d say as far as pain goes, the front shoulder was probably the worst session so far. Tattooing the collar bone and that close to the neck was not pleasant. There’s also the INSANE sensation of hearing your skeleton resonating with the tattoo machine. It’s the same speed of the machine — which is right in your ear — but you’re hearing it from INSIDE your body and it’s an insanely deep, low sound. I asked her if that’s what I was hearing and she was like “yeah, isn’t it wild!” It was so weird. Like it hurt like hell, but I kinda wanted to hear it again just to experience it and be like “wow, that’s insane.” I got to hear it a lot that day. Sometimes I had to remind myself to breathe on that one.
Also, the leaves closest to my armpits were pretty painful. I can see why they say the armpits are the most painful to get tattooed. Which I find really weird because why do we need that many nerves in your arm pit? Seriously, I’m asking. It’s just as bad as the neck. Also the healing after session 5 (the front) was the most painful. It was like my ankle when it healed — NO TOUCH. The skin was very much sore and unhappy.
Today doesn’t feel bad so I think it will be a better healing experience. So yeah, I’m super thrilled with it. So thrilled than when I get done, I think I want a photoshoot. Seriously. A photo shoot to show off my tattoo. Here’s an action shot I took yesterday. I’m covering Devon’s face because I didn’t ask her permission to post this. My bro said I looked like I was having a lot of fun. Fun is not what I would call it. I was just excited and happy. These are long ass days of driving two hours there, hours of pain and sitting still, then a two hour drive home. But, I love the results!
So another hiatus on the tattoo for now. Per my agreement with husband, I need to replace the money in my savings that I spent in the deck and pool pump. Then we can finish. We did an outline / trace / mold for her to work from next time. We’re gonna add more to the arm to beef it up and give it more of a wrap around look. I thought we were just going to add the the back, but Devon wants to add to the front and back. Just some more leaves to widen it out. Then at that appointment we will plan the lover arm. It won’t be much — but it will bring it to about a 3/4 sleeve — maybe a bit longer with a trickle of vine. It’ll be pumpkin vine swirls and some of the colorful stuff from the top.
So the pool cover was put on yesterday. This perfectly coincided with my first tattoo appointment of the off season. I have three appointments booked right now. Yesterday, November, and December. Yesterday we designed the top and got it stenciled, traced, and started. We hope to be able to finish the coloring in in the next two long sessions. I made a deal with my husband that I wouldn’t schedule any new appointments in exchange for letting me build the deck this summer. When I restore my savings from the deck cost, I can schedule more appointments to finish the tattoo. It will have more to beef up the back of my arm and go on down my forearm as well. It’s a great motivation to spend less!
We started texting back and forth Friday night about the design. I know this is how every tattoo artist does it. You schedule your appointment a year in advance but they don’t sketch it until the night before which is insanely stressful. She sent me this:
I had notes. Why re the berries so big? They’re as big as Jack’s eyes! Bigger, actually! I looked down at my arm and his eyes are pretty big. But she said that if we went any smaller they wouldn’t read as berries. Also a red rose? *wretching noises* Can you get more stereotypical tattoo? In her defense, I get where she got it though. The berries were from my wedding bouquet as are some of the flowers that will make an appearance below the elbow. My bouquet had red and orange roses in it. Red roses are romantic. That is the only sense that I like them in – pure love. When my husband gives me red roses, it’s romantic. That’s the only time I should ever see red roses (my favorite roses are actually the orange ones with a pink border).
So she decides to just redo the front completely. She nailed the back though. Look at those swirly vines!
I’m also real worried about that pumpkin lid there (Jack O Lantern lid). Even after I went and sacrificed one of my porch pumpkins to show her want I meant by Jack O Lantern Lid.
But I’m gonna have to trust her on that. She told me to trust her so fine. She’s got an art degree and way too many years of tattooing under her belt. Still, now we’re in the evening before my tattoo and don’t have a front! So she’s like well what flowers DO you like? Fuck. So I’m frantically googling “Fall flowers” over here and sending her pictures and names.
Well, the red poppies are from momma. She loved red poppies. She had already loved them, but then we went to Italy and she saw the fields of wild poppies in person. It was a memory and a connection and I loved to paint her poppies or give her poppies. Once, I even pulled over on the side of the road and picked a huge handfuls of wild poppies for her. The city had seeded them in the median as an alternative to mowing grass.
So red poppies. Who doesn’t love a fucking dahlia? K and I have even discussed getting matching dahlia tattoos in different colors. Fucking beautiful flowers. Oh and I love those yellow pompoms. Craspedia. AKA “Drumstick” or “Billy Button” flowers. I love when there’s like 3 tall ones in a mixed arrangement. I have some on my counter right now! So I’m just throwing flowers at her. Here’s some cosmos (I was actually thinking of reddish brown “chocolate cosmos”). However, cosmos come in a variety of colors so I was like hey, if you want to add colors, here. I mean the tattoo is looking very brown as it stands.
Then I waited anxiously. Very anxiously. Had I made her mad? WHAT’S HAPPENING?
Then she sends this:
First, note all the watermarks. Dude, I’ve paid you a ton of money. I have an appointment in like 15 hours. I’m not gonna steal your work. BUT
I kinda love it. Would I have EVER said put blue flowers in it? Fuck no. But I like them. It’s a very nice pop of color and contrast. And look at momma’s poppies and my yellow pompoms! She does have a good eye for color. We had a little more back and forth about the pumpkin lid. She smoothed it out a lot. But I’m just gonna have to trust.
I’m the one who wanted a Jack O Lantern lid. One, I’m not a super big flower person. Well, I mean I actually love flowers. Momma was an AVID gardener and we went to the botanical gardens almost weekly growing up. But like – pumpkins. I’m a pumpkin person. And I LOVE the 2 pumpkins she did. But they’re not hugely prominent. They’re kinda small. Like I need more pumpkin. So I thought — Jack O Lantern. I fucking love Halloween and Fall and carving pumpkins. But how can we put a Jack O Lantern in this gorgeous very artistic tattoo without it look cheesy? Then it hit me — Jack O Lantern LID. A nod to Jack O Lanterns. I AM A GENIUS. Anyway, we’ll see how she executes it. She reminds me that these pictures are just references. OK.
Saturday morning I wake up bright and early so I can eat before I head out. She’s two hours away and it’ll be past dinner time before I get home. Here’s the Saturday morning “before” shot. Note: I’ve bought two strapless bras for the healing process. We’re going hard with three months back to back, so it’ll need 3 months of no bra strap.
I watched “6 Underground” on Netflix while she worked. It was a good movie. I love Ryan Reynolds. While she was making the stencils she said we’d have to trace them out this time. Now, I did hate being a coloring book last time she did that. However, I had already decided I’d let her choose how to do it since these appointments are so close together. She was piecing together MULTIPLE stencils to follow my body contours. Plus doing some hand drawing where they connect. So she said this is just too much to do multiple times. Yeah, OK. So first she tattooed the stencils on:
Originally, there wasn’t supposed to be so much on my chest. Of course she disagreed and that this was always the case. I have photo evidence that it was not, but I aint picking fights with my artist. I actually like it. I despise that sleeves usually cut off at the shoulder where I call “the Barbie seam”. Like, if you have a cybernetic arm or a prosthetic, that shits gonna include your shoulder joint. So should your sleeve. So after studying the stencil for a long time… fuck it, let’s do it.
The outlining took ages. So we didn’t get as much coloring in done as I expected. Jack got his catholic halo (not that that’s the intention LOL — I just wanted a frame around him so he would really POP). It is solid green, but in the photos it looks very mottled. She was REALLY packing in the color (as she should), and my skin was angry. She commented on how pissed my skin was and that if it heals patchy, we might have to go over it again. I’m not worried. She also colored two more leaves and she did two of the blue cosmos. I kinda love these cosmos! She wants to go back and do more detail on the frame around Jack, but I’m not positive I want it.
So for reference, here it is this morning from front and back so you can see where it falls on my body:
The bats have not been abandoned, but they will not be stenciled. They will be hand placed. Also probably more on my back now and at least one that peeps up on my neck.
I’m THRILLED with where this is going. I’m in love with it. I got a little anxious when I showed husband. There was a lot of miscommunication about me have THREE appointments already scheduled (BEFORE the deck was ever started). Also that it would go further down my arm (was always the intention. In fact, it was originally suppose to wrap around my arm too). And I think the bats on the neck scares him. But like, they make amazing tattoo makeup now. The only time I’d ever need t cover it up would be like court or an interview. Hell, I can pop a zit cover over a small bat. It’s fine. His words were “It’s a lot.”
So that brought me down. But I get it. It IS a lot. Especially when 2 years ago I didn’t have any tattoos. Now I’m like, INK ME. But yall know me, I like to do it right. And to me, asymmetry is gorgeous in tattoos. And I love sleeves. I don’t like the patchwork look of tattoos placed wherever there is space (though, some people love that and I do think those sticker sleeves are adorable. Lets all just be happy with our ink).
I even took this picture to show Devon (though I did not). It’s all the work tank tops I bought this year:
Listen, I still kinda hate my big fat arms. BUT after that surgery, they don’t jiggle and sag so much. And I could have NEVER done something like this before. And I have LOVED this tattoo for almost a year now (yes, his face is a year healed in these pictures). I haven’t regretted it for one second. It took a part of me I hated and made it something I wanna show off. I keep telling people, I’m drawing your attention away from my bald spots to my cleavage and tattoos.
And I don’t like people, but damn I love all the comments people make about it. Do I want to see photos of your cat? I like cats. “Did you see her bad ass tattoo?” Heh. This is art. ON ME. On my ugly body. This and the tummy tuck and boobs were like the best decisions ever.
If I was willing to wear a wig and do my makeup, this would BY FAR be my hottest era.
So today, I read a post my my bestie M on Facebook that got me off my ass. He posted about suffering from ADHD. Particularly “Executive Dysfunction.” Which, I know nothing about. So I can only say what he conveyed about it. He said he would go for days without eating actual food because he couldn’t make his body go to the grocery store no matter how much his brain told it to. He said, and I quote: “it presents externally to the outside world as laziness, it’s actually a WAR between mind and body to get done what you know needs to get done.”
Wait, do I have ADHD? Yall. Listen to WHEN I read this. So I posted the other day about having a legitimate panic attack. I did. I’ve had a few. Because I’m insanely stressed. You know what I’ve been most stressed about? Needing to clean up the backyard around the pool. Hear me out.
So it’s surrounded by rocks. Every year I have to rake out all the branches and leaves and bullshit that piles up in there and not rake out all the rocks. I need to pull weeds. I gotta spray poisons. It’s a huge effort. And the weeds will just come back over and over and over and over again. All fucking summer. It’s a nightmare and I HATE IT. Those pool rocks were the WORST decision we made with this house. Seriously the number one worst decision. I cannot emphasize that enough. The rocks are my #1 regret about this house. Need more closets downstairs? No, IT’S THE ROCKS. No lighting in the backyard for night swimming? Did you hear me say ROCKS? It’s the motherfucking rocks.
If the rocks weren’t there, the yard guy could just mow those weeds along with all the other weeds. Easy peasy! And this years there’s kind a bigger onus on it. I got the hammock and stand I wanted for Christmas — awesome. So like, I need to clean up and put it somewhere. Maybe buy some paving stones to get to it (BECAUSE ROCKS). So like I need to do this thing. And I’ve needed to do it for a month and I can’t make myself do it. Not because I’m having fun. No, I’m not having fun. I’m napping on my couch because fuck, I’ve got so much that needs to get done and I’m STRESSING OUT.
So today, I wake up and grab my phone. Good weather today and tomorrow. Oh no. The forecast of rain was the reason I couldn’t spray the poison. So that means today would be a great day to do the thing. So I stayed in bed for almost 3 hours. Just going “no.” Because if I don’t get out of bed I don’t have to make decisions. HA! Logic. And then I read M’s post about the grocery store. And I realized I have caused myself actual physical pain over not getting this done. Fuck it, I’m doing it.
I didn’t even eat breakfast. I got dressed in my overalls. I ate half a chocolate bar and grabbed some poweraids and went outside. Note, I actually went back inside to put sunscreen over my tattoo — important for later.
So MK was actually opening my pool when I got up! Awesome! So this was a bit late to be getting this done. However, it meant I had he and his daughter for conversation as I did it which was super nice. So I pulled the weeds I could get roots on and sprayed the rest. I did not rake up the leaves and stuff, but just doing SOMETHING was massive. So I’m super happy I got that done. Also, note that I took a LOT longer than I expected. Like a few hours. And I only sunscreened the tattoo. So…. there’s a tan line around the tattoo now…
Not sure if that’s a great advertisement for the sunscreen or not. Maybe? I’d still only give it 3 stars out of 5. It’s mineral sunscreen stick so the zinc very much whites out the area — even though it says “sheer.” It was also very thick. So great for a day on the lake. However, I was hoping it would be a good everyday protection this summer. I’m not whiting out my tattoo everyday. So if anyone has good sunscreen suggestions, send them my way. Highest SPF available if possible. I’ll be swimming in long sleeve rashguards but I need something for general daily wear. This ones great for sweaty activities like yard work. Or I guess swimming, if I was gonna risk that.
Anyway, so I treated the weeds! Finally! But tragic news. This year there’s poison ivy in the rocks. Yall, I’m SEVERELY allergic to poison ivy. I didn’t notice it until I was spraying. Which means I was probably all up in it when weeding by hand. UGH. So after I finished up everything, I dumped everything (even the hat) in a hot wash and hopped in the shower. I recruited Husband to scrub my back for me with the instruction to scrub like you’re trying to peel off a layer of skin. I washed thoroughly like 3 times. My skin was squeaking. So I’m praying I don’t get a rash. Dear god PLEASE no rash and hives. PLEASE.
Husband is letting me get a quote to do a ground level patio/deck and removing the rocks. I have literally no idea the ballpark that would even cost. So our builder is coming over and I’m gonna get him to do a quote for the lower patio (concrete, wood, composite? Don’t care) and then a quote for getting this god forsaken evil rocks out of my life. Hopefully, I’ll meet with him tomorrow. I say hopefully because he was supposed to meet with me Friday and then today and neither happened. PLEASE TAKE THE ROCKS AWAY.
Usually, I write off my brachioplasty (arm lift) results. There’s multiple reasons. I didn’t get liposuction (would have if I knew to ask!) so I still have really big arms. I also still have that obnoxious fat overhang on my elbow. So I’m usually frustrated with it. Like I went through ALL THAT and still have huge arms. Really? This shit was so expensive too!
Also, when you compare my other surgeries, those are just far more impressive. I had a stomach pouch for years even after I lost weight so tummy tuck — huge. And boobs — they make every single outfit look better. Combine those two, and there’s so much oomph! This is the only time in my whole life where my breasts have stuck out further than my stomach. Seriously. I’m pretty sure I was fat before I grew breasts, so yeah. I mean the abdomen is just a complete overhaul. The difference is amazing. So yeah, I’m usually not too jazzed about the arms in comparison. Also huge scars. I’m not terribly bothered by the scars but I am disappointed that they looked like they would be so perfect and neat right after surgery but have since expanded.
HOWEVER (yes, in all caps), if you look at old photos, the arms do look hella better. They’re not all floppy either. There was a good bit of skin removed there. Before this, I’d never have worn a tank top to work. I’d CERTAINLY never have considered a tattoo sleeve. Fat flabby arms can’t have tattoo sleeves. Now that I have tighter arms and working on a fucking fabulous tattoo sleeve, I’m all about some tank tops.
Whenever an ad for a sale at Lane Bryant or Torrid pops up, I’m like “do they have any work-appropriate tanks tops?” I have a smallish collection of work tank tops hanging in my closet now. They’re my favorite to wear. I gotta show of my sweet tat.
I know it’s a work in progress. I can’t wait till we do the shoulder! But it’s nice and substantial and damn cool already. Hopefully, it greatly detracts from my balding head and acne/hairy/PCOS chin. No seriously, I’m having big issues about feeling ugly so let’s all look at the boobs and tattoo. Oooooooo.
I’m so so so glad it has my Jack in it. I miss him so much. I rub between his eyes and tell him I miss him. (He liked having me scratch right between his eyes sometimes). So I do frequently look at it and touch his little face. And people love it.
Almost everywhere I go, someone comments on it. Seriously. Just about everywhere. “Love your tattoo!” “Gorgeous tattoo!” “Who did your tattoo?” “Is that a cat!?” “Where’d you get it done?” “That work is amazing.” “Holy shit! I love it!” It’s a hype piece. A conversation starter for sure. I love it! Nearly everywhere I go, it’s mentioned.
(And yeah, hopefully it’s drawing attention away from my face. Look at my cleavage or something.)
Friday, we did a bit more work on the tattoo sleeve. I haven’t been excited for this session for two reasons. One, it was small session to finish up what we didn’t last session before we break for summer. Two, It was gonna hurt. Elbow and inner elbow. Yikes. We had done the pumpkin “shard” in this area last session and it was the most painful bit so far. So it was safe to assume this whole appointment was going to suck. Also, the last one hadn’t went that great. But a tattooin’ I went.
I was right, it hurt. Surprisingly the elbow more than the inner elbow. But jack has a tail now and some bright red leaves. We’re breaking for summer now so I can heal up and use my pool!
Tattoo by Devon Greig of Alchemy Tattoo.
So after last session, it was clear we weren’t on the same page of where this tattoo was going. So I told her that after this session, I wanted to get some sharpies out so we were on the same page when we pick up in October. Well, she wanted to do that FIRST (that’s why you see all the sharpie on my shoulder in that picture). If she used the sharpies after I was tattooed, she’d have to toss them because of contamination. So we played around with markers beforehand.
We had a pretty solid concept of what was going on above Jack, and that is next place we’re going. I also came around to the idea that it doesn’t have to wrap around my arm. I love the sharp relief of the detailed leaves againt my bare skin. Also, it’s pretty damn impactful and distracts from my scars as it is. Plus the detail is so fine that I wondered if it would get muddied and lost with too much. And you’ll also recall, I wasn’t thrilled with adding more “stuff” I didn’t care about just to take up space.
We had discussed a squash vine below — going down my arm with squash blossoms. However, I had a better idea. If we’re doing flowers, why not do flowers I liked? Also K and I discussed doing matching dahlias or poppies. So I thought, yeah I could do fall flowers… like… from MY WEDDING BOUQUET. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about celebrating my wedding (though I do love my sweetie). It’s about how gorgeous that bouquet was and how it was totally my ascetic. It would look great with this tattoo. So I pulled up some pictures. She was completely onboard! So this appointment was like the opposite of last.
So we decided to pull a flower in the top (it’s still mostly leaves) and some berries so it would be cohesive. We added swirls. More leaves. Bats! We bulked up the design towards the back of my arm. I told her the areas I wanted to cover (apparently this is a surprise to some. I don’t like when sleeves just cut off at the top of your arm. I’m not a barbie doll with a removable arm seam. I like the idea of how robotic arms connect — like the shoulder is part of the whole thing. Or as I’ve said, raglan sleeves. So my vision was always it going up onto my shoulder). So she played around with sharpies for almost an hour.
Not only did this get us on the same page, but she was able to sketch to fit my anatomy and take pictures for when she does the actual templates to apply in Fall. Also, this made me SO EXCITED. I am so sad we can’t fit in another session before summer! Look how AMAZING this is going to look:
Tattoo and sketches by Devon Greig of Alchemy Tattoo.
As you can see, we played around with the front a lot. Turns out I wanted less there than I thought. I am IN LOVE with the back. My swirls! I’m also confident the green frame behind Jack was an excellent choice.
So I am pumped. We scheduled my appointments for October, November, and December to get the top done (I hope?). Then we can schedule some Spring appointments to get working on the lower arm. I’m very thrilled with where this is going.
“As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.
“However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like.”
The first question you may ask is, “Mrs C, why would you get this old lady pattern and not the starry sky or the blue gradient?” And to that I say, what the fuck? Did they not have those when I ordered? ‘Cause those patterns are way better. Do I send this back for one of those? What the fuck did I do? I’m seriously considering replacing it for one of those. Why did I order this Golden Girls pattern? Anyway, it’s not about the pattern. Let’s look past that.
So even if I do exchange the pattern, I’d totally keep it. It’s not the same quality as the TomboyX. However it’s also half the retail price and made in Asia. And it has some features I really like. First, the neck hole isn’t trying to choke me. Thank you, neck hole! This doesn’t zip from top to bottom, but the zipper is about 2/3 of the length. I tried it unzipped a bit and it really didn’t make a difference for better or for worse. This one also has fabric that lays under the zipper to protect your skin so when it’s unzipped, that shows rather than more skin. I think it’s a good feature though. So unzipping this one would just be for comfort, not style.
This rashguard is also full length which might make it a go-to if the cropped ones ride up a lot while swimming. It has ruched sides too. That’s a nifty little detail that makes it cute and adjustable. Just tighten up the strings to make it a little shorter if you have a short torso. But the BEST feature: This is the only rashguard so far with cups. Is it going to support big boobs? Not really. It’s gonna try, but I wouldn’t count on it. The support is only on the front panels, it doesn’t go all the way around. But it has cup pads! They’re very large and oddly shaped pads. I have no idea why they aren’t rounded, but they’re there. Do you know what that means? NO NIPPLES! Yes, it’s the only one of our three contenders to hide pointy nipples.
So full belly coverage and full nipple coverage. This might be the go-to for public appearances. I do like the quality of the TomboyX better. And I feel that since the support in that one wraps all the way around you, it would be more practical if you’re doing physical activities. But for a cheap fast fashion rashguard on Amazon — 5 stars.
I like it so much that I’m sending Amazon #1 back. I just don’t need this many rashguards. It is the cutest as far as pattern and general look goes. I admit that. It’s cute. However, the quality is so very lacking in that one. I just don’t see myself choosing it over this one or the TomboyX ones.
Seriously though, should I send it back for the blue gradient? Do I look like I should be hanging out with Blanche by the pool?
“As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.
However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like.”
First, lets talk about the price and TomboyX. This is going to be a lot more expensive than the Amazon contestants. Fact. Why? Well, most stuff on amazon is fast fashion and probably made by people making barely above slave wages. TomboyX is a company whose corporate office is mostly made up of (80%) women and (63%) LGBTQ. They are certified for sustainability and their factories are certified with the Fair Labor Association. Even the plastic zipper bags your stuff comes in is biodegradable. So this is NOT fast fashion. These are made to actually last. Also, they’re a bit of a niche company. All of their stuff is multi-sex. Women, Men, Trans — it’s all for everyone. They even have one cup bras for mastectomy patients. I actually, really like this company and I have a few of their products. So with that out of the way…
I love this! OK, first, it’s not as cute as Amazon #1 was:
I think there are a few reasons for that. One, it doesn’t have a cute summery pattern. Two, the neck line. Amazon #1 would have looked the same zipped up, but I don’t have to zip it all the way up and I won’t. This one, you have no choice. It’d be so much cuter with a V neck or something. HOWEVER, this is a rashguard. They’re all tight against the neck like this for sun protection. Also, most of the TomboyX customer base doesn’t want to show off the boobies. That’s the only downsides.
The upsides: I love this fabric! It’s so soft. It actually just looks like a cropped top. I tried it on with jeans and I was like “I could go to the store in this.” It also has a built in breast support! So no need to wear something under it like Amazon #1. It’s just a mesh tank, but it helps a bit. There’s gonna be nipples but not so drastic as if you had nothing.
I was very afraid that it would be too cropped for me. However, I’m wearing it in the picture with some very high-waisted bottoms. There’s actually a good 2-3 inch overlap between the bottoms and the top. I will note that the bottoms that “match” this on the site are not as high-waisted as the ones you see me wearing. The mesh lining on this top is a really good fit for me. The outer fabric is nice and loose. I sized up. I usually wear a 2X in womens tops and a 42DDD bra. I ordered this in a 3X. (Oh, did I mention the size inclusivity of TomboyX? I love them! This top goes up to a 4X).
And the best part? THUMB HOLES! That’s right. If I gotta wear long sleeves when it’s 100 degrees outside, at least give me some fun thumb holes.
So I mentioned in the last review that I wouldn’t wear the amazon one for any hard-core purposes. At least not in the size I bought it in. I wouldn’t trust it not to be shifting all over the place and suffering from “wardrobe malfunctions.” I’d wear this thing out on a jetski or bouncing on a float dragged behind a boat. The mesh under top makes it feel secure. Though I do wish the under layer was attached at more than just the shoulders. You almost have to put on the mesh top and then the over top.
So yeah, not only am I keeping it. So far it is my favorite. I even ordered the other one that’s on sale! It’s a different material and has a more fun print. I think these are going to be my main summer pool wear.
My tattoo got to make its first appearance as a peek-a-boo today. The weather was a gorgeous 73 degrees so short sleeves were called for. I was so excited, I even took a picture before work:
Then, on my way into work I hopped in the elevator. Don’t judge me! I have a sprained ankle still. Anyway, a coworker hopped on with me. She said “I love your tattoo! Is that a cat!?” I showed her. She LOVED IT. So we talked for like 30 minutes about tattoos and cats. I texted her the artists info because she’s looking for a good artist as she unhappy with her current tattoo (I thought it looked great).
But yeah — I was internally squealing with glee!
First hour out and someone loves it. Maybe even made a new work friend!
As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.
However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like. TomboyX has two on clearance so I ordered one of theirs. It looks great online, but I’m afraid it’s just going to be too cropped. So I picked up two from Amazon to see if I’m going to want to keep it (and maybe order the other color). This review is for our first contestant:
I’m keeping it. The value is insane. It’s three pieces for $37.99 so that works out to just over $12 per piece. Around my pool, I probably won’t wear the tank under it, but for a party or the beach, I will. I also don’t find it very comfortable zipped all the way up. I do, however, like it at a 3/4 zip. The material is light and loose enough that I don’t think I’ll despise it in the hot sun. I think the style is reasonably flattering as well. Let’s break down the pieces:
THE SHORTS The shorts aren’t great. I wouldn’t expect to get heavy use out of them, but they’re fine for a weekend trip. I don’t like that they aren’t lined and the material feels cheap. The coverage and look is good though. They are high waisted, coming up to my belly button. Size is spot on for the shorts. I wear a 18 or 20 in pants (depending on the cut. I have a narrow waist but huge thighs) and these are a good not tight fit. If I was going to be doing something active like surfing or paddle boarding, I’d want them to be tighter because, as I said, they aren’t lined. I’m going to sub these out for some lined high-quality bikini bottoms. However, I’m keeping the shorts for a backup if I need to change into a dry bottom. I’ll use them, just not much. For the price though, come on. The bikini bottoms I’m going to sub them for cost more than this entire three piece. So for the price: They’re good.
THE TANK The tank is not for someone with big breasts. I wear a 42DDD bra. Again, I ordered this set in a 20. The tank is small. It’s workable, especially just as an underpiece. But I would not be comfortable wearing it alone. The size does not fit with the shorts and shirt at all — unless you have no chest. It’s far too small. That said, the coverage is good. No cleavage showing. I love that it has a built in wireless bra with sewn in cups. No body likes removable cups. However, I’d say this is made for someone closer to a B cup. I’d like it a lot if it was the right size. I do think I will wear it under the rashguard to the beach or when more people are visiting the pool. The rashguard doesn’t have any support or padding to hide pointy nipples, if you know what I mean.
THE RASHGUARD: So this is what I consider myself paying for. The other two pieces were just freebies, as far as I’m concerned. The material is thin. Not see-through, but thinner than a normal swimsuit. I usually wear a 2x in shirts. Again, this is a size 20. It’s pretty loose. I could definitely size down if I wanted something more fitted. I was worried the sleeves would be too tight, as I have very fat arms. They’re good though! I don’t like how tight it feels on my neck when fully zipped. I think it’s pretty cute partially unzipped though. The thin material will require you to wear something under it for support and coverage of nipples. The full length zipper also has a little fabric fold over the bottom so you won’t be snagging it on things.
CONCLUSION: Worth the price. But also, you get what you pay for. I’m a heavy user of swim clothes, so I do not anticipate this lasting more than a season. I plan to rotate it out with others during the season as well. The quality isn’t great, but better than I’d expect for this price. It also looks really good. Like if you need this for a weekend or a cruise or the three times you plan to swim this summer, it’ll be fine. You’ll look great.
As far as size goes, I could certainly go down a size on the shirt and shorts if I wanted a more fitted look/feel. (Well, maybe not the thigh hole in the shorts. I have huge thighs). The tank is just really out of proportion with the other two pieces. I’d need at least a size up in it, maybe two.
I’m keeping it. The price is crazy good. It looks cute. Even if I only wear the rash guard a few times, I’m going to get my moneys worth. I really like the print too.
Coming up soon we have the TomboyX rashguard which has a built in bra AND thumb holes. Yeah, thumb holes! But it doesn’t zip and it’s cropped. So depending on how short that crop is, I’m afraid it might be a no go. We also have Amazon #2. It’s partial zip and should have breast pads in it and cinched sides.
