Category: Reviews

Unbiased Review: BedJet and Cloud Sheet

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Unbiased Review: BedJet and Cloud Sheet

I’m using headers here for people who just want a review. If you wanna skip the intro (this is a personal blog, so I talk a lot) — Go to the heading that says ‘THE REVIEW: BedJet 3 Climate Comfort Sleep System.” (This is a link to skip the the review. I looked up how to do this for yall). I tried to make this review all encompassing to cover all the questions I had before purchasing. So if there’s something I’m missing, drop me an email so I can add it, please!

Also, no I’m not sponsored — I fucking WISH! Bedjet, if you want me to review the travel unit — EMAIL ME. I’m just a hot person who couldn’t sleep and paid a lot of money to try this out.

I don’t like heat.

I’ve always been heat intolerant. I don’t like to be hot. I was told that when I lost weight, I’d be cold all the time. Bull-fucking-shit. I got down to 175lbs and was still hot all the time. So it’s not just fat. I’m just HOT. Then I lost my thyroid which helps regulate body temperature. And it seems that as I’ve aged, I’ve just become more and more heat intolerant. To a medical problem degree. I sweat like a water fountain just standing around. Its embarrassing. AND NOW, I’ve hit the untalked about reverse puberty known as perimenopause. Fuck my life.

A few years ago, I started sleeping with just my fuzzy blanket. It’s a velour blanket. It’s meant to be used between blankets as a thermal layer (trapped air) — but if you use it by itself, it’s just light and fuzzy. It’s made out of foam so it doesn’t hug your body. If you have the fan on, air actually blows through it. So I’ve been making the bed with that under the comforter and sheet and I just throw the comforter aside every night. If I get cold (I do keep a high powered fan pointed at me), I pull the sheet over. This has been my setup for years. I even travel with this blanket.

A few months ago though, I started to get hotter. All of the sudden, I started getting night sweats. We’re not talking a little bit of sweat either. I’d wake up so wet that I’d be immediately freezing (remember, high powered fan pointing at me). I had to take off my PJs some nights because they were just drenched. Like I just got out of the pool kinda drenched. Even in new PJs, I couldn’t go back to bed because my spot in the bed was drenched too! I tried shifting where I slept so I’d have a secondary spot to use. I tried sleeping on a blanket. I figured I could get up and toss the blanket and have dry sheets! But I toss and turn so much that the blanket kept getting wadded up and I just had a wrinkly wet blanket and wet sheets.

I thought this was a temporary situation. I assumed I was just super hyper thyroid and the doctor would fix it. My thyroid hormone level is never correct and our yearly physicals were coming right up. So I had hope.

I’m fucked

Then I got the diagnosis. Perimenopause. No quick fix. This is my life now. Well, it also explains the nightly panic attacks and all of the crazy anxiety attacks. All the stress and crazy. The sweating just standing around. But yeah — the night sweats.

He doesn’t want me to jump straight into hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for medical reasons. Don’t come at me about it. I’m gonna give other shit a chance for a minute. So I started the over-the-counter supplements he recommended. I started researching. I started the internet spiral of researching into echo chambers of crazy. I also talked to the cleaning lady at work.

Yeah, so she came into my office and asked about my tattoo. She has 2 full sleeves and so we were talking about it and she has kids and they think she looks like “the mean mom” because of her tattoos. And I was like “they’re flowers, how is that mean vibes?” So yeah it got into getting older with tattoos and then I was like don’t tell me about older, I’M JUST GOT DIAGNOSED AS PERIMENOPAUSE. And she was like holy shit, you gotta get this Sleep Number mattress pad! It’s fantastic! It was a thousand dollars, but you gotta get it. So I looked it up.

The Sleep Number DuelTemp layer for half the bed is $1,200.00. OOF. Like I’m dying, but I’m also not allowed to spend a ton of money. Yall know my husbands rules! And I just paid $1,200.00 to buy a new salt cell and have it installed when they opened the pool. So *cries*

The Bedjet has entered the stadium.

What about that BedJet thing? Like I’d heard of that before. What’s that about.

I don’t know when or where I’d heard of the BedJet before. They were on Shark Tank and I spend most of my life on the internet, so who knows. I give it a google. Ok, Ok, half the price of the sleep number. But from what I remember, it’s just like a hose attached to a fan that blows under your covers. That doesn’t sound nice. The only part of me that ever gets cold (aside from my face and ears) are my feet. So I really don’t need a fan blowing on my feet. That doesn’t sound nice. Also, I could rig that up way cheaper. But wait — Cloud Sheet? I like clouds. Tell me more.

Perhaps the BedJet used to only have the fan option. In fact the BedJet is just the fan option. But there’s an optional cloud sheet accessory.

“Patented double layer sheet construction has special interior air flow chambers. BedJet air flows directly into the air chambers to then gently diffuse onto your body through the sheet. Improves the performance of the BedJet by evenly distributing the cooling and warming air in your bed, eliminates feeling of flowing air.”

Um, did you just fix my only qualm? Ok. I want this. But for $500, I must research. I had questions.

It’s cooling — but there is no cooling mechanism. I get that room temperature air is 20 degrees below your body temperature, but how can you claim it’s cooling if it doesn’t cool air? And why can you set the temperature on the remote if it can’t make it any cooler than the room temperature air? That sounds sus as fuck. Have people used this thing and like it? Does it make you cool? Has anyone with night sweats tried it? It advertises the sweat evaporation as one of it’s biggest benefits. But, most importantly, is there a cheaper knock off that doesn’t have heating? I don’t need a heater.

So enter the crazy echo chambers and why I’m writing a full review. I’m not writing this for the five people who read my blog. I’m actually writing this in hopes that people find it useful. I hope that when people google for BedJet Reviews, BedJet questions, cloud sheet review, cloud sheet questions, anything BedJet — I can give them some answers. Without the crazy. I’m sorry, I just did type a few pages of crazy, but it wasn’t directed at your life choices to not take HRT. Lets review:

REVIEW: BedJet 3 Climate Comfort Sleep System and Cloud Sheet

I ordered the BedJet 3 with remote as that is the current model at the time of writing this. There were options:

  • The Bedjet 3 with remote for $429 with the 30% off for Mother’s Day Sale — which is now a 30% off for Memorial Day sale. Probably just wait for any random holiday and get this price. (I got this option)
  • You can get a model without a remote and save about $40.00. This is doable because it is bluetooth capable and there’s a phone app. I did not get this because, from what little I could find of unbiased reviews, the phone app is absolute shit.
  • You can also buy a certified refurbished BedJet (does not come with remote) from the company and save about $80.00. It does still include the 2 year warranty. BUT it won’t come with the 60 Day money-back guarantee.
  • You can upgrade to a duel comfort system where each partner has a BedJet to set to their own liking. This is approximately twice the price of a single. Which makes sense. I did not go this direction. I know that husband would have used the hell out of the preheat button, if nothing else. However, husband is “thrifty” — he would not have approved of me buying that if it was just a $50 upgrade. I’ve bought stuff for him before that he made me take back because he didn’t need it. He DOES NOT waste money. So.

I wanted the single system, with remote. For $500, I wanted that 60 Day money back guarantee with free return shipping. Plus refurb means old parts — I’ll go new. Again, I will note that there’s a 2-year limited warranty on all systems which is pretty damn sweet.

When it arrived, I was EXCITED. I’m gonna sleep good tonight! Lets set this up! The setup manual is 5 stars. Top notch. I should add a photo (UPDATE! Photo below. See, I’m helpful). It’s a full magazine size manual. Tons of pictures, big print, glossy pages. Nice.

BedJet Setup

There are two ways to set it up. It has a very small form factor so you can set it under your bed. The whole box can fit if you have 6 inches of clearance. If you have 6 inches under your bed but lower side rails, it can still go under the bed if there’s 3.5 inches of clearance under your side rail. If your bed is freakishly low or on the floor, you can set it on its side to take up less floor space and have it beside the bed. I went under the bed.

I noted in the instructions that it does not recommend using it with an extension cord. I thought that was a bummer because even with outlets on either side of my bed, this cord barely reached my outlet. Why not make a longer cord? But, during assembly, I noticed the air tube has a lot of length. So I could have had it way further back and just stretched out the accordion-style air hose to get the length to the end of the bed. They even sell an extension tube in their parts section, so yeah. WITH the hose extension, you can get 8 feet of air hose. But you might wanna note that if you don’t have a close outlet. There might be a big air tube running across your room or something if the outlet is not on the same wall as your bed.

There are buttons on the unit. I was a bit scared — especially since one had to do with low power mode and has a big warning section in the manual about it. The manual said to follow the instructions on the remote to set it up. It comforted me that, by answering the remote’s questions, it would select the proper power settings for me. Sweet. So I put the batteries in and the remote came on in setup mode. It has a nice sized LED display, so answering the easy prompts was a simple task. Then it was setup and ready to go. I didn’t have to touch anything on the unit.

Note that there is a USB “Expansion port” on the unit. The book says it’s only for factory testing and not a functioning USB port.

So the air hose has a funnel-type attachment that points the air at you. That fits on top of the tube. Then there is a plastic bar that slides under your mattress. On this bar, there are risers. The system comes with 4 risers. These hold a clamp for the air hose to hold it in position against your bed and at the right height. You can add or remove risers as needed until the funnel is at the right height. Don’t worry, if you have a tall mattress, they will send you extra risers for free. How do I know?

Even with idiot proof instructions, I still messed up the setup. I did not include the funnel because I was using the cloud sheet. It worked fine that first night, but I thought it was a stupid design. Also, without the funnel, I had to pull my cloud sheet down further. So I requested some more risers. I also asked why you wouldn’t want to use the funnel with the cloud sheet as that seemed stupid. A heavy set of blankets could easily block the air without the funnel.

Well, I’m just a dumbass. Customer support responded to my email quickly and dispatched a set of 4 more risers at no cost. They also pointed out that I was still supposed to use the funnel with my cloud sheet. I also had a question about that low power setting. The remote asked me if I was using this on a twin bed (which would affect the power setting). I’m not, but I am using a twin sheet. So… do I still answer no? Apparently, you answer by bed size not sheet size. Awesome. Thank you, customer service. Oh, and they said the bed skirt would not affect performance as long as it does not affect airflow.

Is this a good time to mention it’s an American company in Rhode Island? It’s even family owned. Like damn, an AMERICAN product? It’s become an international company now, so I really doubt it’s made in America — but still. I’m impressed. And I was super impressed with their customer service.

So on the second night of use, I had it set up correctly (tough still too low) with the funnel snapped securely into my cloud sheet. It did work better like that.

Review: BedJet Cloud Sheet

The BedJet does not come with a cloud sheet. That is an optional additional purchase. You can use the BedJet as is and just have it blowing under your covers. Either directly on you under your sheet, or maybe between your sheet and comforter. You do you. But I didn’t want to sleep in a wind tunnel, so I opted for the cloud sheet.

The cloud sheet is a duel layer sheet. It’s like a duvet cover, basically. It snaps over the air output and it fills up with air — like a cloud. Get it? CLOUD sheet?

It is 100% cotton and heavy as fuck. I bought the TwinXL sheet. We have a King bed. So there were two options to cover my side only. I could buy the large duelzone sheet and only use one side, or I could go TwinXL. I was concerned that if we shared a sheet, Husband would get too much of my cold air, so I went Twin. I did my due diligence and washed it before using. One nice feature is that you can connect the air hose to the foot of the bed through the sheet — or through the side of the bed through the sheet. It has two options. That’s cool (no pun intended).

So the sheet has one side that is suppose to be touching your body. I wouldn’t be able to tell which was which — but there is a nice contrasting colored patch sewn on one side that says “This Side Down.” Thank you. Well executed and obvious if you have it on upside down.

The duel zone sheet would cover the entire bed but has a seam down the middle. This allows each side to be controlled by a different bed jet. Or one side to just be a heavy ass sheet with no air flow. Here’s our problem though — air seepage. My husband does not want my cool air. He is a little stream of lava and he wants to stay that way. So while only my side of the bed has the sheet, we’re under the same comforter so his side is still getting some air blown over there. Perhaps if he had a BedJet going as well, the air would block it — but since he has no air pocket, my forced air is invading. This sucks. I can’t think of a way to prevent this without a physical barrier. For right now, we have my body pillow between us on top of the comforter. It works. It takes up too much space, but it works. I’m going to get crafty with my friend and sew a long tube to fill with rice or beans or something to make a little skinny weighted tube to put down the middle of the bed. I suppose we could also just have our own blankets and not share the comforter as another solution.

UPDATE 09/04/2024 – I finally made a long sock (out of an old sheet) filled with rice to lay down the center of the bed. This serves to keep the air on my side and not affect his side. It takes up way less space. AND I get my body pillow back. Here’s a picture of the updated situation. My side is turned on so you can see it’s very puffy without any air on his side. Only downside – It smells like rice. A lot. Might switch to a different filling.

Cloud Sheet Cons (Still 100% recommend it though):

  • My biggest complaint is that the cloud sheet will always feel wrinkly. It’s a sack. There is no avoiding it. I love crisp new sheets that are perfectly smooth on the bed. This sheet is always going to feel wrinkled. Even with the air going, this isn’t a pool float — it’s going to move around with you. I can’t fathom a way for that not to be the case, though.
  • I wish it came in something other than stark-fucking-white. That could just be me.
  • The top foot or so of the sheet doesn’t puff air. WTF? You’re already losing length to pull it all the way down to the hose — I want all the air. I guess they assume people don’t want it at the top of the sheet where their shoulder are? Well, I do. If I didn’t want it that high, I could just fold it over.

Cloud Sheet Pros:

So the cloud sheet goes under your covers. You don’t want all that nice air just blasting out of the top of the sheet into the room! You want it directed at your overheating ass. So it works best with covers over it. So as you can see, I have it (per instructions) under the top sheet, comforter, and even an extra blanket over our feet.

Yall, It’s been years since I could snuggle up under the covers in anything but the middle of winter. IT’S SO NICE! It’s so snuggly. It’s so comfortable. And I can use the comforter to block the fan if its too much, or the bright sun in the morning. AND I’M NOT HOT. WHAT? I love this! I’m under the covers, yall!

What I think after using it for two weeks.

I love it. The only problem I’ve had was last night we had severe thunderstorms and the power blinked. So I woke up to my BedJet not being on. I had to use the power button on the unit to restart it because the remote said it couldn’t connect. Other than that, FUCKIN’ A!

I haven’t had the night sweats since I’ve been using it! I’ve had maybe a bit of sweat between my legs on a few nights, but then I just split my legs and I’m cool.

Somewhere I think I read that most people have it set on 74 degrees (F) and I forget what fan speed. Fuck that. I have it at 68.

That brings me to an important topic!

The BedJet does not actually cool air. At all. It has no cooling capabilities. This is not an air-conditioner. It will only blow room temperature air at the coolest. So if your room is above 79, probably not gonna help. BUT, I like that there is a warning on the remote which acknowledges this. If you set it below the room temp, you get this message:

“Based on your current room temp, Lowest regulated setting for cool mode is [x]” — with X being the temperature of air the unit is reading. So think of the cool setting as a “floor.” Don’t go colder than this — that’s basically what you’re saying.

Speaking of remote, I’m so glad I got it! It’s very nice! I have a king bed so plenty of room to have it. It has a small LCD display that shows you the current settings, the room temperature, and the count down to auto shut off. It also shows the unit name (because you can control multiple units with one remote) and the battery power left in the remote.

The only thing I dislike about the remote is that it can’t show you the time. It knows the time and shows you the time when it is not running. However, when it is running, you don’t get to see the time. Still, great remote.

The remote is extremely intuitive. You’ve got your menu button with the direction pad and center select button. Super easy to navigate. This is well written software (IMO). Then “Off,” “Cool,” “Heat,” and “Turbo” settings. Turbo is for preheating your bed before you get in, apparently. See, that would be husband’s favorite button. Then you’ve got the set of up/down toggle-type buttons. One for fan speed, one for temp, one for the auto shut off timer. Super intuitive. Then there’s a “Dry” button. The manual says this is “for rapid sweat drying without being too hot or too cold.” As far as I can tell, it’s gonna blast you at 87 degrees, but don’t quote me on that. I assume “10H” makes the timer jump to 10 hours. Then you have the memory buttons. These are so you can have preset settings you like. Forgot how the fuck to program those? I did too! I so I pressed one and the remote told me how to do it. Good software.

If you care, to program a memory button on the BedJet remote, just get the settings to what you like and hold down the memory button you want to save that too. Then the remote will ask you if you want to save it. So easy.

I also really like that the remote senses motion. So it lights up when you grab it. No need to press a button. You can set how sensitive it is. Mine’s probably too sensitive right now because it lights up when I roll over. I guess I’m a violent roller. Whatever. I can turn that down if I want.

There is a “Biorhythm Sleep Sequence Function.” At first I just ignored this. I mean it’s kinda misnamed because it doesn’t have any feedback from your body. However, I just reread what it does. Basically, you can set the times (based on duration or clock time) that you want your setting to change — with up to 33 changes that will automatically run over the course of the night. Now that I’ve been using it for two weeks, I might try this out.

UPDATE 09/04/2024: I now use the biorythem as a delay. Some nights, I don’t want to get in a cold bed. Like if I have cold feet already. I want to feel snuggly for a little bit. But I can’t not use my bedjet or I wake up in a pool of sweat! Solution? I made a Biorythem and set it to the M3 key. It has the unit do nothing for 25 minutes and then turn on to 74 degrees at 80% power for 10 hours. FANTASTIC.

So I start the night at 68 degrees (no, my house isn’t that cool — I fucking WISH) and 90% fan. Why 90? Well, I want ALL THE FAN but I don’t wanna push my unit. This I like. I also like that I can make a little funnel under the covers by my face and have a wind tunnel blowing across my face. That’s nice. It does blow a lot of air — but it’s true that you don’t feel the air movement with the cloud sheet. The only thing you feel is the vibration of the air being blown in by you feet.

At some point in the night, I get up to pee because I am a female and I drink a fuckton of water. I like to be hydrated. Did I mention I get hot? HYDRATE. So when I get up to pee, I usually find the bed to be too cool. So I slip on some socks I now keep on my night stand and turn it down to 75% fan. On long weekend sleeps, I might turn it off in the morning. I’ve done that twice.

So yeah, this thing WORKS. We’ve been setting the air at 72 degree and I’m sleeping UNDER THE COVERS WITH SOCKS. WHAT? We are gonna save so much on the AC bill this summer! Man, if you combined this with that $1200.00 Sleep Number pad, I bet you’d be in HEAVEN. Totally worth the money. It has a two year warranty. If it just up and dies after that two years, I would totally buy another. (As long as it’s not breaking down and I keep getting this great customer service).

I guess the only other thing to mention is that it has a filter. It’s just a crazy thin piece of foam in the back. Pull off the back cover and there it is. You can totally buy new filters. But yall, they aren’t even trying to rip you off like that. The book just says to clean it off as needed.

I love you, BedJet. Can I travel with this? Do I need another one just for travel? DO YOU MAKE A TRAVEL SIZE? Because there’s no way my perimenopausal ass can sleep without this now. Insurance should cover this. 5 Stars!

But it could still be better. Give me a longer sheet or make the air run all the way to the top. And give me sheet color options.

OH! One more thought. People ask how loud it is. Low hum. I sleep with a Turbo fan on high so this is NOTHING to me. I can’t hear shit over my fan. I’d say this sounds like a fan on a very low setting. I would not say it is loud by any means, but you will hear it.

UPDATE 09/04/2024: If your head is under the sheet, you won’t notice that it is louder, but you will not be able to hear things around you very well.

Also, it blows so much air out that if you fart and have that awesome slip stream by your face — that fart gets blasted out immediately. It’s like the opposite of a dutchoven.

UPDATE: Three Months Later

I’ve been using this nightly for over three months now. I love it. I’ve thrown in a few updates in here that you might have seen — like using biorythem to set a timer for it to come on after you fall asleep.

I had a big problem when my cat decided he wanted to sleep on the jet. I solved this by using two full sets of stackers — 8 stackers so the funnel sits a few inches over my mattress. That way if my cat gets close, I can easily slip my feet under the funnel and he is forced to sleep to the side.

I still wish the sheet was longer or the air went fully to the top. I found myself sleeping unusually high in my bed due to acid reflex and wanting the use the wall to support slopped pillows. Only my legs were covered by air. This was not sufficient for me not to sweat.

The “DRY” function is awesome! It really works! If you accidentally get sweaty, kick it on and it’s really not too hot or too cold. And it drys you off pretty quickly with the fan at 100%. Surprisingly, one night I fell back asleep with it in Dry mode and was comfortable all night.

I’ve fallen into the rhythm of 90% fan on 73 degrees when I go to bed. After I come back to bed after I pee, I change it to 74 degrees at 80% fan. We’ve been able to keep the AC set on 71 or 72 for three months now! I was a 68-degrees-or-I-will-kill-you person before!

I finally made a long rice sock to divide the bed between heavenly air on my side and nothing to stop the lava on my husbands side. This works well enough. Nothings perfect and I don’t see how to avoid this problem without a physical barrier over the covers or using completely different bedding on each side.

100% recommend. I’m seriously considering the travel size for, well, travel. Maybe I’ll put that on my birthday list!

Also, can I get a light grey sheet? Beige? Greige? Something not stark white? Please?

God Damn Amazon

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on God Damn Amazon

“Well, my days of not takin’ ya seriously are certainly comin’ to a middle.” — Bonus for anyone who gets the ref. Seriously, Fuck Amazon. I’m tired of their Chinese knock off over priced scammy bullshit.

Review: BigMouth Floats are the BEST – Hands Down

BigMouth floats are my favorite. I love them. They send me spam emails. I clicked a spam email about a Memorial Day sale. I mean, I did lose an eggplant last year and the replacement sucked and didn’t hold air well. So I needed at LEAST one new eggplant cause those are my besties favorites.

And the watermelon ring (MY personal favorite), is a few summers old.

This is our 9th summer and I’m only on my second Watermelon — the first being replaced the summer I tried the float holder outside and it faded to yellow. And the flamingo ring’s head doesn’t hold air and the other ring is the Butterfly wings which is so Instagram worthy (LOVE the picture of mom with it!) but not practical. So, like, I need a new mesh float and ring or two.

Holy shit, BigMouth has mesh floats! They have a Pineapple, a Strawberry, and an Ice cream cone! (Edit: Looks like they used to have a Wiener Dog and a Popsicle too.)

Six feet of lounging! SCORE! I’m so tired of buying the eggplants because they’re not a brand, so you get what you get – different nozzles, different quality vinyl. Hell, even the mesh sewn on different sides. So fuck the eggplants, we’re switching. Ice cream is off theme, so I’ll take the two fruit please.

Now, I needed to grab my watermelon. Four feet of swim ring greatness. The float that led to my love of BigMouth. One, it’s huge — not just for adults, but fat adults too. Two, EXCELLENT quality shit. Their floats are a “reinforced PVC” — whatever that means. So they kinda have a matte finish and they’re a nice thick material. So let me just get my watermelon. They have a fuckton of cute swim rings, BTW — most in normal sizes and kids sizes. This year they have a brand collab with squishmallows. Adorable shit. After a few years, I’m over the adorable picture-worthy ones that have heads or trees or mushrooms sticking off them. And the jellyfish was instagram worthy but so so so non-functional. So, just a four-foot ring please…

Ooooo. This year there are tons of big rings! There’s a black and white checkerboard, the watermelon, a rainbow, a red and white lifesaver that says “for vibin’ use only,” a pink lemon(ade), a lime/lemon, and a BOMB! Fuck me, the fuse on the bomb is a cup holder. Oh my god. I know that floating cup holders are in NO WAY functional, but fuck that is adorable. I’ll take a rainbow and a bomb! (Yeah, it says “cannonball,” but cannonballs don’t have a fuse ON the cannonball. I get you though, can’t call it a bomb.)

So I put everything in my cart on the bigmouth site. Now, they have shipping fees. So lets see if Amazon can do better. I make sure I’m purchasing the floats that say “Official BigMouth Store.” The “Shipping From” section says “Amazon.” So we should be good. Free shipping means Amazon is like $5 cheaper. OK, lets do amazon.

FAIL.

So three arrive as expected (in two different shipments):

And then I had to wait on the third without an exact delivery date. Not a good sign. And here we have…

Amazon will happily send you to a third party seller to scam you without telling you about it.

One of these things is not like the others. The H2OGo Fun Lounger! Seriously, Amazon? What the actual fuck? So OK, lets start the return process, I’ll drop it off at UPS and order from the real site — it’s cool. Only, it’s not cool. Since I ordered this from a third party seller, I am not eligible for a refund from Amazon without trying to resolve it with the seller first. WHAT? So I click on message seller and it’s “JellyRoo2.”

WHAT THE FUCK, AMAZON? I made sure I was ordering from the BigMouth store and shipping from Amazon — but you hooked me up with some bullshit third party seller? Why? How? Why didn’t I know?

So I go through the third party seller return process and now I have to package it, print my label, and mail it. Then, when they receive it and verify it is the correct item (hint: IT’S NOT) — I can have my refund.

Let’s call these motherfuckers because typing this has me riled up again.

I just got off the phone with Amazon. I wanted to know how my order went to a third party seller. She told me that I purchased a similar item from a third party seller. I said no I did not. When I click on the item in my order, it takes me to the CORRECT item and look — it says I’ve already ordered it! So this product is exactly what I ordered! It says sold by BigMouth and delivered by Amazon. NOTHING ABOUT JELLYROO2.

So we back and forth. I’ll back and forth all day. And after a while, she explains that sometimes if there is a low stock (in this case 4 units), you will be connected to a third party seller for that item.

So let me get this straight.

I DID, in fact, order this from the legitimate store. When I clicked it and when I checked out, it was the legitimate store. But Amazon decided to fulfill it through a third party. Without me knowing.

…

Let me say that again in like BIG FONT:

I DID, in fact, order this from the legitimate store. When I clicked it and when I checked out, it was the legitimate store. But Amazon decided to fulfill it through a third party.

So, here you have proof of me ordering FROM THE CORRECT STORE. In the first image, you’ll see it says “purchased twice” — that’s because I’ve purchased it again — from Amazon BECAUSE NOW IT’S SOLD OUT ON THE REAL WEBSITE.

See that? And when I move over and click the strawberry, you’ll see I purchased it:

So, yes, I purchased it correctly. From BigMouth’s Amazon front. Two items on THE SAME PRODUCT PAGE from the correct store. One fulfilled correctly and one diverted to a third party seller without my permission for fulfillment.

Ok. I just. I’m stuck on that. I’m stuck. Like. What the fucking fuck? And Amazon won’t refund my money until I go through JellyRoo’s return process. All they can do is guarantee that they will not connect me to a third party seller in the future. I don’t know how they’re gonna DO THAT. Is there a software flag in there about who they scam and who they don’t? Did my account get the “open to scams” box unchecked?

All she could say was that I had to go through the third party seller, they’re sorry, it won’t happen again. I asked if Amazon would return my money if the seller doesn’t. She said yes.

So…

FUCK AMAZON. FUCK THESE CHINESE SELLERS ON AMAZON. FUCK JEFF BEZOS IN THE ASS (unless he likes it like that, in which case make him EAT SHIT. Unless he likes that too, in which case send me an email and we’ll figure something out for that MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD).

Amazon has become completely overrun by chinese bullshit knock offs. And they don’t even care. And now, no matter how careful we are to order FROM THE MANUFACTURER, we might get the knock off anyway. AWESOME.

Stuck in the splits!

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Stuck in the splits!

I ordered this doll when the Barbie movie came out. They released a ton of regular Barbies, but only did a preorder for Weird Barbie. The prototype pictures showed her regular in the box. I was afraid they’d actually box her like that. But she just arrived…

IN THE SPLITS. YAAASSSSSSS!

I was going to be so insanely disappointed if she wasn’t in the splits. Kate McKinnon was fucking hilarious as Weird Barbie. She was integral to saving the world, and she was always in the splits.

Part of me does want to open it up and tape her doing the splits against my computer monitor. So she can forever say “what’s up?” But a bigger part of me sees them on eBay for $300 and thinks maybe she should live in her box. So for now, she’s in her box, on my happy shelves in my office.

Seed Nerds AKA seednerds.com is a SCAM: A Review

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 5 Comments on Seed Nerds AKA seednerds.com is a SCAM: A Review

Putting this out there for all the fellow gardeners. seednerds.com is a scam. They present as a legit company based in California. They fooled me. I made purchase and was notified that I had made an international transaction on my credit card. This is the only indication I had that they were not CONUS.

I called the number to cancel my order. Fake number. I googled the address. Real address — I did street view — it’s a shipping warehouse.

Yeah, that is not an image of a “50-acre farm […which also…] partner[s] with local beekeepers to set up honeybee hives and with free-range chicken farmers to provide help with pest control and composting.”

I sent three emails to cancel the order. They just stonewall and ask for more information. After a few weeks, I get a shipping notice. So I wait for my seeds so I can return them. After all, they have a return policy:

I just need to email them and they’ll send me a shipping label. False. One, they informed me they moved their warehouse to china so I will have to pay to return them. OK, bitches, give me the address. Now I’ve sent six emails with continuous stalls and asking for more information and pictures. Pictures like this of seed packs with NO LABELS EVEN:

When I googled them back in early march, I didn’t find a lot of negative information. Now there is tons:

Seednerds.com review (scam site)
byu/pxlchk1 ingardening

https://www.facebook.com/seednerds/reviews

https://www.trustpilot.com/review/seednerds.com

So throw this hat in the ring. Seed Nerds or Seednerds.com with this contact information:

Business Address: 11010 Juniper Ave, Fontana, CA 92337, USA

E-Mail: info@seednerds.com

Phone: (716) 217-9642

Please call us from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, Monday through Friday, Pacific Standard Time

IS A SCAM. FRAUD. FAKE. CHINESE ASSHOLES.

***********Update on my Lemongrass************

So out of the THREE packs of seeds I’ve ordered from people — ONE is doing well. The plants came up quickly but do not seem to be growing much — unlike the first set of fake lemon grass that shot up like… well, regular old grass. The third contender hasn’t sprouted a single plant. And obviously, I can’t even plant this chinese shit.

I fear I will not have nearly as many plants as I had hoped.

Netflix’s Polar

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Netflix’s Polar

It’s my fake Friday. I took a long ass nap. I’m gonna make a frozen Quest pizza and stay up super late.

Some background: I decided to do another booknook. I ordered a generic “Rose Detective Agency.” One that is clearly knocking off Sherlock. The address is 210B Rose Street. Well, that can’t stand. Clearly I’ll have to fix the address and street sign. So if I’m doing that… I might as well do some other customizations… So this led me down a Sherlock (BBC, Benedict Cumberbatch) hole. I’ve decided I’ve just got to rewatch the show for inspiration. I was going to do it this weekend.

So I find myself up late with time to kill. I’ll start my Sherlock binge early! So I pull up Netflix as I assume it’s on there. And I see this:

Interesting, maybe I’ll add it to my watch list. The description: “John Wick meets The Equalizer.” John Wick kinda already was the Equalizer over the dog, but show me more. I watched the trailer.

Well, fuck. Now I’m waiting on my pizza to be done so I can start my movie. It’s totally Mads Mikkelsen as an over-the-top John Wick. It won’t be as good, but it looks like a damn good ride. I’m down.

REVIEW:

It takes over an hour before they even inspire the guy to do any vengeance. In that hour there’s a LOT of gratuitous sex. We’re talking a LOT. Even boobs against a window at one point. The characters are just insanely over the top caricatures of villains. I’ve paused here at the 1 hour and 21 minute mark and it’s FINALLY about to get good. With only 36 minutes left — at least 6 of which is probably credits.

To even compare this to John Wick is just insulting to everyone. I feel like this movie is insulting to Mads Mikkelsen’s talent, even. I mean fuck. It better be a damn good 30 minutes.

***SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT***

Not that he should be alive at this point, having been tortured for three days and I don’t think they gave him water to drink during any of that and he’s bleeding like a lot — for three days. So very implausible — but he’s finally about to escape and do some killing. Here we go.

So he’s escaping and kicking ass. Only the occasional stop to pant to show he’s struggling. He’s even been shot in the leg by this point. He’s missing an eye — part of the 3 days of being tortured and bleeding. Like maybe if they had only tortured and starved and dehydrated him for one day, I’d give it to you. I mean give me SOMETHING to buy here. But he was literally chained up the whole time. They made a point to show him still chained on the floor before and after each torture — next to a floor drain — for the blood, of course. So like, he hasn’t even been able to go shit or anything. Much less get a drink of water. This is stupid.

And surprising left filed twist ending plus a set up for a second movie.

THUMBS DOWN. You suck, Netflix. I should have watched Sherlock.

I can’t fucking believe you DARED to compare this to John Wick. Fuck.

Review: Dremel Storage Box

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Review: Dremel Storage Box

Two reviews in one day? WTF? I know. But in my last post, I mentioned modifying my rock display stands with my Dremel. Which reminded me that I love my Dremel and the case I got for it.

I mean come on, Dremels are awesome. You can cut wood, plastic, metal – etch glass, sand anything, polish, grind stuff down, drill holes, sharpen your lawn mower blades (I don’t know why I have that attachment). So versatile! It’s not something you use everyday, but it is a life saver. It’s like “oh I have this problem! Whatever shall I do?” “I have a Dremel.“

So the last time I used it for a big project was redoing the mailbox post. We moved our mailbox but I still wanted a house number stand out on the street. A fancy one. I was shopping for them and then thought — damn, I have a nice post out there — it just has a damn mailbox on it. It’s a nice cast iron post my neighbor let us have after mailbox 3.0 (or somewhere in there) went down. And those posts were expensive. So I looked it over and realized the box was only held on by brackets. Cast-iron brackets, but I have a Dremel! And a 100 foot extension cord! So I sawed the brackets off, used the grinding bits to even it up, a new coat of shiny black paint and added a house number plaque! Wha la!

Now after this wonderfulness, I realized, my Dremel deserved better. I’ve done other big projects with it (my nativity creche) but only had it in an open box in the garage on the shelves. So there might have been a ton of dust and a little rat poop in the box with everything… Sorry, dude. So I went looking for storage and I found this box. The “Portable Tool Box – Small Parts Organizer with Drawers and Customizable Compartments for Hardware, Fishing Tackle, Beads or Crafts by stalwart (Green)”. I’ve seen it in lots of other colors, but I like green.

The top is the perfect size for my Dremel with extension attached and a huge pair of safety goggles. I have to have big googles to fit over my cateye glasses. It’s a perfect fit! I even tossed in the manuals in an envelope. The envelope looks fancy but it’s really because they were filthy and bent up from the terrible storage before…

Then, when you open up the front, you have access to 4 individual latching tackle boxes. These are perfect because the short dividers are not permanently set, so you can move them around to make the compartments the size you need.

And yall know, the Dremel comes with a ton of shit. I mean it does do EVERYTHING. I’ve got one tray for attachments. One for sanding, one for more sanding and also polishing, one for cutting and grinding. Look at all this organized shit:

So when I needed to cut some metal last night, I went out to my garage and grabbed my green box. It also has a big sticker that says “Fuck” on it because it’s mine. All my shit was right there. It wasn’t dusty. I didn’t have to look around for what I needed. I even had my safety glasses right there to remind me to use them. It’s perfect.

5 stars, highly recommend. I love organization.

Review: Adjustable Metal Arm Display Stand Easel with Acrylic Base

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Review: Adjustable Metal Arm Display Stand Easel with Acrylic Base

It’s been a while since I did an Amazon review. I worked on customizing these last night, so I’m going to review them. But, this means you get a preview of some of my new rock collection additions. I’m going to make a post more about those soon. I’m waiting until some more things come in too so that you get the full scoop. But that’s later. For NOW, Lets review: Amazon’s “4 Pcs Adjustable Metal Arm Display Stand Easel with Acrylic Base Rock Display Easel Holder Acrylic Easel Crystal Display Stand Clear Plate Stand for Geodes Mineral Agate (2 x 2 x 3.5 Inch)”

I’m torn between giving this 4 or 5 stars. In the end, I’m super happy with these. That said, I did do some heavy modifications on them.

My rock collection is small samples. My shelves are 2 inches deep and about 3 inches high. So my display samples are small. These were the smallest stands I could find. I love the super clean clinical look. It doesn’t take away from the stone at all. I like that adjustable arms can be moved to hold different stones. I love the clean look. I don’t want to just set a rock on the shelf. I want it displayed and labeled. I want a clean organized collection. Not just a pile of rocks.

So I thought these would be perfect. They almost were. Hence my considering 4 stars. If I were to use them as is, the only issue I have is the insanely tight fit in the base. One, I couldn’t get all the way in. I pushed on the top peg only and it pushed through the others. So then I pushed down on the lower pegs and that was enough to tear the thin metal wrapping them together. Not noticeable displayed on the shelf, but disappointing. It’s still just not fully inserted.

Now, another fact is that I heavily tweaked these. I need my specimens plus the stand to be around 3 inches. The stand actually holds the specimens a decent height off the shelf. I can’t measure this for you as I’ve already altered mine. I used my Dremel with a metal cutting wheel to take the height off the bottom (Dremels are magic). This allows the lower pegs to sit closer to the acrylic base.

This made me happy for some of my specimens, but wasn’t working for displaying the smaller slices and stones. They wanted to lay down because the arms are over 2 inches long. Time to get out the pliers. I was able to bend the back peg forward according to each stones need to display it exactly as I wanted (see picture). It’s a thick peg so it did require a bit of force.

Now they’re perfect! I added a tiny label to the acrylic and these look great on my shelves! Here are the 4 I ordered and tweaked (see picture). I’m very happy with the final result. I will buy again, but they need modification. I was also very disappointed in the one that tore the metal wrap when I tried to get it in the base. So I’m knocking it down the 4 stars.

Firefly 10th Anniversary Edition Unboxing

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments on Firefly 10th Anniversary Edition Unboxing

First, let us start this journey exactly where I started. Finding a giant box on my doorstep. Here’s the video from my Ring camera: https://ring.com/share/9b7eb6dd-b116-41bd-9177-9fffbc58ebed?fbclid=IwAR20Uwo_WUui7_9t4atnrx58SUnJA8V8q2pJRwr6gbZlNgciFYm_34daps0 or youtube:

I was not aware that I gasped like a B movie actor in real life — nor that I snicker like a leprechaun stealing gold when I grab happy things. Apparently, I do. So there’s that. Let’s hope if I’m ever witness one of those dramatic “I’m pregnant with your baby” moments in real life, that I keep it together. I did buy this, obviously. However, kickstarters usually come so late and I never got a tracking notice so I was NOT expecting this.

LET’S OPEN IT! There is a lot of waste in this packaging because this guy has dense foam on the top and bottom and full corner pads. But it makes for a perfectly unblemished box.

I think it’s cute that it looks like a cargo crate, but I’m a bit sad that it doesn’t say “Firefly” on the side because that is what shows on my game shelves. So it’s not particularly attractive on my gaming shelves. It sticks out because it’s so large too. So it’s kind of unattractive on my shelf, to be honest. Insanely impressive when you get it out — but just not a looker on the shelf. (*See UPDATE at end of post)

The first layer is 4 token trays. Note that every tray in this box has a clear lid, they are removed for the photos so they don’t glare. So each of these trays has an individual lid for it. As you can see, I’ve already punched out all the tokens. Note that I put the round green tokens in the wrong place. They should go in the slot marked “Haven.” (*See UPDATE at end of post) I had to watch the gif of the packaging on the kickstarter a few times to get a screenshot of this level to see if I did it correctly.

I do love that everyone can have their own tray, or at most, share a tray with someone else. Less reaching around the table and huge game board. Less little piles of discarded fuel tokens all over the place where we’re not sure if you own that or just discarded it…

Level two has a lot to reveal. We can see they have a slot for the neoprene mat (which is actually part of the tray below this one). THANK YOU for giving us a place for the mat in the box. Holy shit, hallelujah!

In this tray we have all of the start up “stuff”. You’ve got your ship cards, the captain cards, and the drivecore cards here. Every ship has a custom matching die. The number six is marked by a Firefly. As you can see on the last die in the row, the number one is marked with a sad face. I think that is for a game variant.

We have the “Big Money” here. I wish it came with the regular money. This game takes up enough table space. I love the big money, but I wish they had included the small money to play with too. I don’t want to cannibalize it from my previous game because I might as well sell that game or give it away.

There’s also the setup cards, single player story cards, and regular story cards. I do love that they made in-theme envelopes to hold these large “decks.” However, there’s a major flaw. There are far too many cards to fit in the envelopes. (*I WAS WRONG See UPDATE at end of post). With all of the expansions plus all the kickstarter stretch goals, they just don’t fit. So pretty envelope with no purpose. Only the setup cards will fit. Another stretch goal was the dice bag. Unneeded since you have the slot to store them. I will use it to store the Haven tokens since I put those in the wrong slot in the token boards. You don’t need those every game so this is a nice option and location for those.

Lastly for this layer, we have the current player token in enamel. It is not very bright, but it is very nice and hefty. The punch outs also had the traditional dinosaur if you prefer to use it. This is also where they stashed one of the BEST PARTS of this campaign: EVERY SINGLE PROMO CARD EVER RELEASED. Holy fuck! Those will get distributed to their appropriate decks, but this is where they stashed them. So exciting! I only had a few promos before.

Below that level, we start to get into the card decks. We have the Navigation decks, Misbehaving decks, and various expansion decks. Plus… the mat.

Look at this baby! The original Firefly mat by itself was a pain in the ass. It folded out in 6 squares. You know those squares never laid perfectly flat. Then two expansions had additional mats for each side of the board. Now we have ALL OF IT in one beautiful mat. Might I add, nicest neoprene mat I’ve seen. Stitched edges and insanely heavy. Note that straight out of the box, BARELY any edge curling. And this is the first unroll with no effort to fix that corner. Top notch quality on this and it wasn’t even the “Vera” upgrade mat.

Did I mention it fits in the box? It does. It has its own slot in the box. No box plus mat bullshit. THANK YOU.

The last level brings us to the core decks. Firefly has a fuck ton of cards. Now they are all separated in their own beautiful compartments. That’s nice. Yes, you still have to shuffle — but this will really speed up setup.

One reason I didn’t get the “Vera” mat was that it had card deck locations. Yeah no. Aint nobody got arms long enough to reach the decks. When we play, we set up a separate card table with all of the shopping and job decks. This way everyone can take a look through the discard at any time without interrupting the game. Plan your turn, people, or never get invited back.

And whats that little box there? THE SHIPS!

Note that these do have the little stands. Those were up in the previous card level in an empty deck slot. All of the ships have been hand detailed and are made of resin. No more bent spikes on the Alliance Cruiser. The Jetwash and Esmeralda, being a newer class of Firefly ships, are larger than the others. You’ve also got other expansion ships, of course, like the Interceptor and the SS Walden. plus the others.

But can I point out the Reaver ships? They used the same mold for the three ships — standard practice. But they painted each differently. That’s such a nice touch! So they look like different ships even though it’s the same mold. I appreciate that.

I’m super happy with the ships.

I call Serenity with Jayne or Mal (maybe Zoe? I don’t know her captain stats as we didn’t have that expansion) as my captain since I bought the bougie game! I told husband this and he thought it was unfair. I was like I spent $220 plus shipping, so I get Serenity, dammit! He asked how long that lasted. At least the first fucking game night. Damn.

Though I have to point out, so worth the $220. Someone on r/boardgames (Reddit) said that was an insane price to pay for a game. Um, excuse me. First, the base game is a $70 game. And lets look at what is in this box IN ADDITION to that base game:

Two HUGE expansions that add on to the board itself:

  • Blue Sun
  • Kalidasa

Three full game expansions:

  • Crime and Punishment
  • Pirates and Bounty Hunters
  • Still Flying

One mini expansion:

  • Breakin’ Atmo

Two ship expansions (yes, they were packaged and sold separately):

  • Jetwash
  • Esmerelda

So you’ve already come to almost $400 just in the base game and expansions. And what else are we getting? How about a glorious play mat? Hand painted resin ships — the originals were all cast single-color plastic. Big Money (if you like that). Custom matching dice for each ship (only the expansion ships had matching dice before). New unreleased story cards for basic and solo play. The awesome storage box that makes set up and take down a breeze. Plus, every single promo card ever released — including the ones that were in the special lootcrate subscriptions. Plus all the new promo cards that came with the kickstarter stretch goals.

The value for your money here is huge. I actually feel really bad because one of our friends actually already owns every single expansion. So he paid a lot more than we did for our original game plus this anniversary edition and doesn’t have half the cool shit we do now. Husband had to point out that he paid a premium to have them all when they came out. Fair, I guess. I’d be pretty bitter about it though.

Also, don’t underestimate how much these huge boxes bring to the game just by themselves. We bought the big Terraforming Mars box when it came out. Like this, it holds every expansion, has trays for everyone’s pieces, two trays for the money tokens (one for each side of the board), card organization, etc. Takes setup and tear down time from over an hour to very short time. Having everything already sorted and ready to go with games like this is just like a cherry on top. Except way better, because I don’t like the cherries — so more like those milkshakes where they put like a whole-ass fucking slice of cheesecake on a stick on top of it and cake icing on the rim.

~~~~~ UPDATE ~~~~~

Today I got the game out and rearranged the token trays to be correct. I stored the Haven tokens in the dice pouch in an empty card deck slot.

I Also used some of the kickstarter stretch goal stickers to spiffy up the box. Now it looks much better om my shelf.

And furthermore, I actually tried out the Story Card envelopes. I was wrong, the cards do fit. Does the Story Card envelope close properly? No. It’s a chonker. But they DO FIT. I only wish the envelopes weren’t so thin since it’s going to take a beating with so many cards in it.

I’ve Been Crocheting.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on I’ve Been Crocheting.

Where have I been for over a month? Crocheting. Stressing and crocheting. And sure, crocheting actually sounds like something I’d do. However, until like last month, I didn’t even know the difference between crocheting and knitting. I knew there was a difference, but not exactly what and which was which. Then Facebook got me.

How? Ads. Facebook kills me with ads. It’s like “you want this?” And I do. So, I don’t know how long ago, it started showing me The Woobles. The Woobles intrigued me. Not only is it a craft — it’s all in one. It includes EVERYTHING you need. So you can try out crochet without buying anything but this one kit. Look at this:

Yes, when the Halloween collection came out and I saw pumpkins and bats, I caved. That picture is for Luna the bat. It comes with beginner “easy” yarn that HAS ALREADY BEEN STARTED FOR YOU, all the colors you need, the stuffing, eyes, and crochet needle. But it also has step by step videos. In the reviews on Amazon, one of the only negative ones was that they videos were too slow and aimed at kindergartners. Bitch, some of us are LEARNING. We need crochet kindergarten.

It took until about row four before I even figured out the “yarn under” thing. Well, the second row four. I had to unravel the first attempt. But I did it! I created a bat! I MADE THIS. I had also ordered the mini pumpkin kit so I made that shit too. I was hooked (no pun intended). I wanted to do more, but all I knew how to make was that bat. But I had some yarn from a previous craft! So I bought a hook sized for the chenille baby blanket yarn and made en even BIGGER bat (stuffing from an old pillow). Holy shit, I’m amazing.

So then, I was like… I like this. I’ve been crocheting every evening while watching the old 90’s TV show “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” It’s simple to follow and doesn’t require a lot of attention. It’s also a cheesy throw back I enjoy. And I’ve been loving it. It’s relaxing. Instead of feeling like I’m wasting my evenings (and therefore my life) away aimlessly clicking on Reddit and waiting to retire — I’m enjoying my evenings. I’m making things again. So I ordered a kit to make a blanket, because what am I gonna do with all these bats?

Then I got antsy and made the penguin kit with his tiny aviator hat. Yall, these tiny kits (the pumpkin and the hat) are only $5 each. SO WORTH IT. Look how stinking cute he is! I’m so fucking good at this! I LOVE CROCHET. Look how fucking adorable that penguin with his hat is! He’s got stubby little wings yall! And a hat! Husband likes him so much it’s on his desk.

Then I started the blanket because I’m gonna knock this right on out.

Yeah… no. This shit is hard. One, that easy yarn TRICKED ME. It was so easy! I thought the chenille yarn was super hard because I couldn’t see my stitches, but I was wrong. This “afghan yarn” is 2 ply and slippery as FUCK. The stitches are sliding all over the place. And it barely holds together. It’s so hard to not stab right through it every stitch. So it’s slooooowwwwww going.

I’m not gonna lie. I thought about giving up on this shit. But NO. I’m gonna finish. This is my first big project and dammit, I’m gonna do it. And yes, I’m gonna fix that first dark green row because jesus, that’s terrible.

I’ve got the five color sequence done two and a half times now. I’ve figured out the yarn — that being that it’s going to stretch out and pull everywhere, just go with it. I’m not having to look at the pattern. And I can see why the pattern is the way it is. It took about 6 rows before the chevrons really started to stand out. I also thought the single crochet rows were worthless (each color is 4 rows) — but now I see. By doing the single crochet row and back stitching everything, the single row ends up completely on the back of the blanket and invisible from the front. This leaves only the two double crochet stitch rows showing on the front. It also makes them look like they’ve overlapping like fish scales. Nice. And this yarn may suck to work with, but god damn is it soft.

So yeah, Woobles. 100% recommend that shit. They were even on Shark Tank! Sure, if you already have the stuff to knit or crochet, it’s over priced. The people saying that already have hooks and shit and know yarn is cheap. But if you just wanna give it a go, this lets you do a whole project with everything. Even the little plastic eye balls! An yeah, I can look up stitches on youtube, but this is the stitches plus a slow step by step guide.

Everybody’s getting Woobles for Christmas!

Here’s my old lady ass crocheting with my cat. I love it!

Revisiting a Review: “Bug Bite Thing”

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Revisiting a Review: “Bug Bite Thing”

I’ve posted a review of the Big Bite Thing already. It left a hickey on my forehead. See this previous post for photos and initial review. The gist of it is: This is a professional hickey maker.

Here’s my update on that previous review with photo:

We’ve discussed mosquitoes love for the sweet sweet vintage of my blood. Well, last night, a mosquito in my house got me FOUR TIMES on the shoulder. When I saw the welts in the mirror, I decided to give this thing another try. It’s not my face this time. So I ran up to my husband and got him to use it on the four bites on my back.

I have attached the resulting picture. My husband was laughing uncontrollably. This thing is a professional grade hickey maker. That’s it. Now, maybe hickeys are the cure to mosquito bites and these people are the first ones to figure that out. I suppose this is a more sterile way to create a hickey so there is that. So you get 2 stars.

I’m gonna be honest. Those four bites DON’T itch anymore. My husband swore the itch would come back when they recovered from the trauma, but they’re still not itchy. I’m not going to say they’re fine because now they’re purple, but it is what it is.

I may sound silly, but it’s a scientific fact: “Sucking is sufficient to burst small superficial blood vessels under the skin.” What does this product do? “Suction Tool” is in the TITLE. We’re all idiots.

I’m not gonna lie though. As long as it’s covered by clothes, I’ll use this thing. With full acknowledgment of the hickey that will result. I pray I never have to explain why I have a cluster of perfectly round hickeys to a medical professional. Right now it’s looks like a giant chicken stood on my back. Chickens are descended from dinosaurs so I’m going with Raptor attack.