How to make TSA agents laugh

So yesterday our flight was canceled. But not before we made it through security and waited almost 2 hours at the gate. For some reason, I always flag at the human-being scanner. This time I flagged a lot of yellows and bright red on my crotch. Nice. So I got felt up. The lady sped through all the ways she was gonna feel me up and asked me if I understood and I was like “No, but do what you gotta do.” She asked me if I wanted to move somewhere, private but I don’t care. So I got felt up. I also got the bomb residue screening.

Then I’m waiting on my husband and my bag. Husband goes through with a bright green window. So lame. I told him I just got felt up and he just breezes through! WTF? So now I’m grabbing my bag after it went through the scanner and my husbands bag gets taken. So I laugh and say “I got felt up but they took you shit!”

This made at least two agents laugh. You’re welcome.

Also, another passenger said at least the feel up was free. So there’s that. We’ll try again tonight. But I need to remind husband to take the scissors out of his backpack.