Professionalism in a Can: A Review

So this is a review for Salon Grafix High Beams Intense Temporary Spray on Haircolor. I’m going to post it on Amazon. I had gotten myself up into the top 2,000 reviewers in hopes of getting into Amazon Vine and get free shit to review. Now I’m like 5,000. Lame. Anyway, Hair Spray. Or, as Amazon calls it: “High Ridge Beams Intense Spray-On Hair Color -Brown – 2.7 Oz – Add Temporary Color Highlight to Your Hair Instantly – Great for Streaking, Tipping or Frosting – Washes out Easily (SG_B008W3057A_US)” (click here now).

So. We all know I have shitty hair. It’s always been fine (the strands are skinny) and thin (there’s not a lot of strands). Then I started balding because yay. Of course. So I’m pretty open to playing with my hair. I mean, it already sucks. So when K said she was putting pink streaks in her hair and asked if I wanted to join — of course I did! K’s mom was doing the work and we didn’t have any actual beauty salon type tools so she was hesitant to try highlights in my hair. So we decided on an undercut. We bleached it out and dyed it pink. Awesome. So I’ve been rocking that for a few months.

So here I am living my life with a pink undercut. Problem: I’ve got a court case that’s been winding its way through the court for three years. I have to appear in court. I’m the plaintiff. I have to testify that I’m a professional and a god damned good one at that. According to my lawyer, juries don’t think professionals have pink hair. Which is obviously a stupid stereotype. However, I want to win my case and my lawyer said the pink had to go.

Well. I could dye my hair back to brown. That would be unfortunate as to get it back to pink, we’d have to strip the color and bleach it again. This would most certainly damage my shitty hair so not a good idea. So if I went back to brown, I was committing to leaving it that way for months. I had already given up on this court case anyway, so fuck that. I’d fake it. People spray paint their hair different colors all the time! Well, kinda.

I knew there was temporary hair sprays out there for conventions and Halloween. That’s all I needed. Fake it for a few hours and back to pink we go. The only problem was, apparently, people don’t spray their hair brown a lot. Pink, blue, purple, green? Twenty plus options for you to choose from. Brown? Not so much. Only one option that I could even find, in fact. Salon Grafix High Beams Intense Temporary Spray on Haircolor. I read the Amazon reviews and I knew one can wouldn’t go for more than one coloring so I ordered two just in case. It was a good thing because this trial took THREE DAYS.

So when the day came, I woke up freakishly early so my bestie could come color my hair on her way into work. This isn’t something you can really do yourself. From the previous reviews, I knew this stuff would get everywhere so we sprayed it outside with a towel over my shoulders and gloves on our hands. I also knew that this would easily shed everywhere. So my best bet was for my hair to move as little as possible. So I had put in hair gel the night before. Then heavy set mousse the morning of. Then we pulled it back and pinned it in place with bobby pins. My hair was solid. K sprayed me down with brown spray. Even with just covering an undercut pinned back, we used half a can. So yeah, order a lot.

The coverage was amazing! This stuff is solid. The brown was a richer redder brown than my natural mousey brown, but not enough to be egregious. Certainly not something that would jump out at the casual observer. The first thing my lawyer said, I shit you not, was “you fixed your hair!” No, lawyer, it’s Halloween paint.

This stuff was so solid that after an exhausting day of court proceedings, I considered just sleeping in it. When I changed clothes, however, it was obvious that it had shed a lot throughout the day onto the back of my shirt. Ok, wash it out it is. The shower water was a disgusting brown, but it came out 100% in a single shampoo! (Note this picture is after the third day of washing. The pink is a semi permanent dye so it was washing out a lot by this time. The blondish roots are the pink washing out, not from the brown spray staining).

The trial went on for three days. K came over every morning and sprayed it down. Every night I washed it out clean. It did get on the back of all of my clothes, but I ran them in a load by themselves in the washer on cold and it came out completely.

So yeah, I’d recommend the hell out of this stuff. Just make sure you have enough cans because you need a lot. Make sure your hair is an up-do that isn’t going to move a lot. The more it moves, the more it sheds. Expect it to get on your clothes. Oh, and maybe where a face mask when you spray it. We both inhaled way too much brown. Think brown snot. Probably not healthy.