Professionalism in a Can: A Review

So this is a review for Salon Grafix High Beams Intense Temporary Spray on Haircolor. I’m going to post it on Amazon. I had gotten myself up into the top 2,000 reviewers in hopes of getting into Amazon Vine and get free shit to review. Now I’m like 5,000. Lame. Anyway, Hair Spray. Or, as Amazon calls it: “High Ridge Beams Intense Spray-On Hair Color -Brown – 2.7 Oz – Add Temporary Color Highlight to Your Hair Instantly – Great for Streaking, Tipping or Frosting – Washes out Easily (SG_B008W3057A_US)” (click here now).

So. We all know I have shitty hair. It’s always been fine (the strands are skinny) and thin (there’s not a lot of strands). Then I started balding because yay. Of course. So I’m pretty open to playing with my hair. I mean, it already sucks. So when K said she was putting pink streaks in her hair and asked if I wanted to join — of course I did! K’s mom was doing the work and we didn’t have any actual beauty salon type tools so she was hesitant to try highlights in my hair. So we decided on an undercut. We bleached it out and dyed it pink. Awesome. So I’ve been rocking that for a few months.

So here I am living my life with a pink undercut. Problem: I’ve got a court case that’s been winding its way through the court for three years. I have to appear in court. I’m the plaintiff. I have to testify that I’m a professional and a god damned good one at that. According to my lawyer, juries don’t think professionals have pink hair. Which is obviously a stupid stereotype. However, I want to win my case and my lawyer said the pink had to go.

Well. I could dye my hair back to brown. That would be unfortunate as to get it back to pink, we’d have to strip the color and bleach it again. This would most certainly damage my shitty hair so not a good idea. So if I went back to brown, I was committing to leaving it that way for months. I had already given up on this court case anyway, so fuck that. I’d fake it. People spray paint their hair different colors all the time! Well, kinda.

I knew there was temporary hair sprays out there for conventions and Halloween. That’s all I needed. Fake it for a few hours and back to pink we go. The only problem was, apparently, people don’t spray their hair brown a lot. Pink, blue, purple, green? Twenty plus options for you to choose from. Brown? Not so much. Only one option that I could even find, in fact. Salon Grafix High Beams Intense Temporary Spray on Haircolor. I read the Amazon reviews and I knew one can wouldn’t go for more than one coloring so I ordered two just in case. It was a good thing because this trial took THREE DAYS.

So when the day came, I woke up freakishly early so my bestie could come color my hair on her way into work. This isn’t something you can really do yourself. From the previous reviews, I knew this stuff would get everywhere so we sprayed it outside with a towel over my shoulders and gloves on our hands. I also knew that this would easily shed everywhere. So my best bet was for my hair to move as little as possible. So I had put in hair gel the night before. Then heavy set mousse the morning of. Then we pulled it back and pinned it in place with bobby pins. My hair was solid. K sprayed me down with brown spray. Even with just covering an undercut pinned back, we used half a can. So yeah, order a lot.

The coverage was amazing! This stuff is solid. The brown was a richer redder brown than my natural mousey brown, but not enough to be egregious. Certainly not something that would jump out at the casual observer. The first thing my lawyer said, I shit you not, was “you fixed your hair!” No, lawyer, it’s Halloween paint.

This stuff was so solid that after an exhausting day of court proceedings, I considered just sleeping in it. When I changed clothes, however, it was obvious that it had shed a lot throughout the day onto the back of my shirt. Ok, wash it out it is. The shower water was a disgusting brown, but it came out 100% in a single shampoo! (Note this picture is after the third day of washing. The pink is a semi permanent dye so it was washing out a lot by this time. The blondish roots are the pink washing out, not from the brown spray staining).

The trial went on for three days. K came over every morning and sprayed it down. Every night I washed it out clean. It did get on the back of all of my clothes, but I ran them in a load by themselves in the washer on cold and it came out completely.

So yeah, I’d recommend the hell out of this stuff. Just make sure you have enough cans because you need a lot. Make sure your hair is an up-do that isn’t going to move a lot. The more it moves, the more it sheds. Expect it to get on your clothes. Oh, and maybe where a face mask when you spray it. We both inhaled way too much brown. Think brown snot. Probably not healthy.

Over here living my best life

I’m sorry I haven’t been posting. I’ve got a few posts cued in my head to write but I’ve just been so tired. Between working out (which I didn’t even do last week) and working, I’m just beat. Work is a fucking grade-A tragedy right now. What a cluster fuck. I think the government is going to pull funding on our contract for real. I’m also worrying a lot about Jack — did he eat enough, is he in pain, is he breathing well? So that’s a lot of emotional energy. Oh and of course worrying about Mr C’s shoulder which I’ve had to keep clean and dressed – and is HE getting enough to eat too? So much emotional energy. And I feel like I have no time to just chill. Which isn’t true, but I’m just tired, yall. I’m tired. But not today!

Why not today? Because we died my hair pink! I’m absolutely in love with it. K’s mom did it this morning. I had such a great day! I went over to K’s house this morning and her mom dyed both our hair pink and K2 joined us just to hang out. Then, when we were going to head out, we were all hungry so I picked up Mr C and we went to this really cool screened patio between the new 5 Guys and Super Chix. Excellent day.

It’s been a busy weekend. I hate busy weekends but It’s been good! Friday was my off-Friday so I spent the morning getting all the vines off the house and trimming the bushes while Mr C was at the doc. I thought this would make Mr C very happy since he’s mentioned those damn vines a couple of times but it did not. He wasn’t unhappy — he was just “meh” about it. So that was a wasted effort. It would have had to be done eventually, but it didn’t have to be done on my day off. Oh well. The house looks excellent. Especially, with all my Fall decorations! I put up Norbert and the pumpkins and mums in the entry way are on point. I love pulling up in the driveway to see them. And I’m very proud of how nice the yard and bushes look. Some times I wonder if Mr C realizes how much I do, but I guess you just gotta do it for yourself. And I like how it makes me feel.

Also Saturday was October first! And how did we celebrate? Well K and K2 came over and we watched Hocus Pocus 1 and then the new Hocus Pocus 2! Then we went to Pinots Pallet and painted BAT CATS!

Thats my bat cat on the right with the last Halloween one we did three years ago on the left.

So good weekend. Yep, yep. And a great agenda coming up. Circus on Thursday! Not the mean-animal kinda. It’s the fun acrobatic, holy-shit-how-did-they-do-that kind. And Mr C and I are having professional photos done on Saturday for our upcoming tenth wedding anniversary! And whats so close that it’s showing up in my google calendar? THE START OF MY SLEEVE TATTOO!

So yeah, I’m tired and emotionally exhausted but life is good. Real good. I mean, the cats dying so that’s harsh, but it’s part of having a pet. You get to pour all of your love into them and then they… well, they don’t last forever. I’ve chosen the urn for his ashes. All that’s left is to keep him comfortable and to try to give him the best last days we can. With lots of extra kisses and snuggles.