Cows and Boobs. But not Cow Boobs, those would be udders.

So the installation where I work is like a little city. A little city with a lot of land. I guess they bought up a shit ton of land for future growth. I’m sure a lot of it is sound barrier as well. They leave a lot of it forested, but there’s also a lot of pasture. They lease this pasture out to farmers for their cows to graze. The installation gets free land upkeep (and actually, a very small income); farmers get affordable grazing pasture. Win win. But here’s the thing: where are the barns?

I’ve never seen any barns. Just cows. As the installation closed early on Friday due to tornado threats, I worried about the cows. Where do the cows go? Shouldn’t they have somewhere to go to protect them from the elements? What if they get cold? We all saw Twister and the flying cows. So seriously, are these cows OK? There’s no farm infrastructure — just a bunch of cows in a pasture. Maybe the occasional guard Donkey. Do they have enough food? I’m worried about these cows just being abandoned to fend for themselves until butcher time.

I don’t have an answer. I did email the people who lease the land to the farmers to inquire though. ‘Cause inquiring minds want to know, OK? Cows aren’t wild — they’re like Buffalo, right? Do they just stay outside all the time? Where do they sleep? How do they stay safe in storms?

Also. Boobs. Not related to cows. Next subject. Now that I actually have boobs, I have big boob problems. Not that I mind at all, I find it funny. Like the fact that when I take off my bra, I find shit in there. Like peanut skins and shit. It just falls in there. And I’m fat — so like finding that chocolate has melted into your bra is not cool.

Anyway, new big boob problem: I can’t see my belt buckle. It’s only a problem with one of my belts that has a fiddly buckle, but like I can’t see it. When we did bungee fitness, I couldn’t get myself out of the harness because I couldn’t see it to undo it. My boobs were in the way. So that’s a thing. Still love them, though!

Boob Party!

Well, we finally had my boob party! I wasn’t feeling it because I’ve been so self conscious about my stomach being bloated. Some of it’s swelling, some of it’s weight gain. So I feel like shit. I’ve also got acne and crooked boobs. But hey, we scheduled this like two months ago. Also, realistically, naked me now is still a gazillion times better. It’s always a journey, right?

I had worried that it would be too hot — both the pool and the weather. But thankfully, Friday we had some horrible storms that brought rain to cool the water and take a few degrees off the temp. So it was actually a beautiful pool day. Everyone got in and floated around! Well, not Mr C; that’s not how he rolls. D even went home to get his swim suit since he hadn’t brought it. The water was perfect.

So what made it a boob party? Well, I have boobs and A made boob cupcakes!

See! A rainbow of breasts. Some even with piercings.

It was a really good time, so I’m glad we did it. Mr C sat in the shade and kept us company on the tanning ledge. The daddy flamingo float came out for the baby flamingos to follow around. I surfed across the pool on a float. It was amazing, you had to be there. We got some great photos. And K and K2 both think my hair is looking a little thicker. Great day!