Review: Chewy.com is the G.O.A.T.

If you want to skip the backstory and skip straight to why Chewy is AMAZING — click here.

I love Chewy

Do you use Chewy? I don’t use it for everything and never thought I’d use it until Jack got sick. I just figured it was for the really eccentric pet people but it’s actually affordable. And they do free shipping over $50. I started using it when the Vet told me that Jack’s IV supplies would be far cheaper on Chewy.com than anywhere else. Yes, Chewy does pet prescriptions too (they can call your vet or you can upload the prescription).

SIDE NOTE: GoodRx works on pet medication as well.

When Jack was sick (kidney failure), I got all of his IV supplies and prescription food through Chewy. They’re pretty awesome. They sent him birthday cards. They run great sales. They donate to charity (right now, if you write to Chewy Claus, they might fulfill your wish and every letter received is 1lb of food and supplies donated to Greater Good Charities – up to 600,000lbs). So that’s how I came to shopping on Chewy.

Step in: Louie. When I adopted Louie, his bowels were FIERCE. It was like someone had chemical bombed our entire house — not exaggerating. Not just his poop — but he was just constant gas. Like just a little gas bomb and if he pooped you better hold your breath and run to clean it up ASAP. His abdomen was swollen. His poop was just bloody diarrhea. So I quested to get his stomach right (with the vets help and lots of prebiotics — which every new pet owner wants to shove down new pets throat). The vet wouldn’t make any food recommendations but I scoured the internet and tried to get as limited ingredient as possible. So he ended up with Open Farm Raw Mix Kibble and some Natural Wonders Limited Ingredient wet food for dinner. And we got him straight. WIN.

THEN, Natural Wonders stopped making that food. Not raised the price — they stopped making it! So I took to the internet. Lots of pet owners were angry and they all had the same problem — their spoiled pet won’t eat anything else! Did you know a cat can starve itself to death? Yeah, they’re that bitchy. Thankfully, Reddit to the rescue. Someone had found that their cat would now eat Weruva Mideast Feast. It’s not as limited ingredient — but still really good and it’s the damn whole chunks of real fish Louie wants (dude, skin on sometimes even — ew). So they don’t sale his kibble, but I went right back to chewy for this fancy wet food.

Now you’re all caught up.

So I ordered two cases of wet food for Louie. Chewy runs great coupons every once-in-a-while to get a $30 gift card if you spend $100. So when this happens, I buy up two cases of food. Rinse and repeat. That’s right, over $100 worth of cat food. Fourty-eight individual 5.5oz metal cans.

A day or two later I get an email “Hi BIL! your Chewy order has shipped!” — WAIT, BIL? I open the email. Holy fuck me, I sent it to my BIL. He’s in my addresses because last year I sent him a hilarious dog costume for his dog. He doesn’t even HAVE A CAT. He’s also 12 hours away. Do you know how much two cases of cat food weighs? I bet you do because you can do the math — it’s a lot. Do you know how much shipping costs? It’s insane!

Side story on shipping costs — feel free to skip. So I mailed my BIL the adorable pawprint ornament we made last year that I finally painted. See this post. Also this post. And here’s a picture:

So I packed it in a bubble mailer and took it to the UPS Store. They wanted $14 to ship it. It weighs 3oz. It’s in a #1 size mailer — AKA, like the smallest one. You want how much? Now I know it’s the holiday season and they’re pissy and people are mean to them, but this guy was an ass. He said that’s pretty standard for shipping. I said, its tiny, weightless, and last time I shipped him something bigger it was $6. So he goes on a spill about how that’s a good cost. So I ask how much for USPS. He says $19. Are you fucking kidding me? So another worker hears and asks where it’s going. MICHIGAN, not Europe! He says that if it’s not giving him a choice to ship ground, it’s not a choice. So I just politely tell them “sorry I wasted your time” and take my shit back. I go to the USPS office to see if this $19 is the cheapest they can do shit it true. It’s not. It’s was $6 and change. Fuck you motherfuckers! Trying to rip people off cause it’s the holiday rush. (NOTE THIS: All of you who think that USPS is not vital public infrastructure and should be privatized). So what I saying, shipping even a tiny thing is expensive as fuck.

//End Side Story

So I’ve mailed my BIL over a hundred dollars worth of very expensive and heavy cat food. Well, just having him ship it to me isn’t an option because that would be at an insane cost. So I call Chewy immediately. Get a human right away, BTW. No stupid pressing 1 for whatever and 2 for whatever nope. It rang, I got a spill about this call may be recorded and then a very nice woman answered. I explain how stupid I am. She says, it just shipped, maybe it can be rerouted. So she enters a reroute into the system for FedEx and says to call back if that doesn’t work.

Well, fuck me because somehow Michigan gets next day shipping from Chewy. Must be awesome for yall. So I call them back. Same easy call — another lovely lady picks up. I explain my stupidity again. No problem, she says, we’ll ship out a replacement. Awesome! Can you send me a label for my BIL to return the first? Oh no, just donate it to a shelter or a vet.

What WHAT? You don’t want a hundred dollars worth of cat food back? ‘Cause Amazon just made me promise that I’d ship back my AA batteries if they end up arriving after the post office lost them or I’d be charged for both deliveries and that was $14 of generic batteries that won’t arrive for over a week even though I pay for free 2-day shipping.

It’s true. Look at that — they sent out two more cases for free that got here the very next day. Look!

What the fucking fuck? Chewy is just going to let us donate all that? When it was 100% my mistake and my fault for messing up the order? Like they did nothing wrong, but just give away a hundred dollars worth of product?

Holy fucking shit, there is a good corporation!? They donate to charity (even in THIS way — we can just give this food to whoever we want — BIL doesn’t have a cat). Helpful cheerful humans answer the phone immediately. They send out hand written and signed cards to your pets. Like, seriously, they have to employ multiple people to just write cards. I got a sympathy letter when Jack died. And did you know, they pick random pets and have their portraits painted to surprise people with? Yeah, so make sure you upload a photo of your pet to your profile. I’ve seen them, they’re adorable.

This company, Chewy.com, has become huge — and they still seem like you’re dealing with the sweetest old mom and pop store to ever exist.

I’m blown away.

I was going to keep using Chewy anyway, but good lord almighty, I’m preaching Chewy now! USE CHEWY! Use the code CHEER right now to get a $30 gift card if you spend $100 — plus free shipping over $50.

Look how happy Louie is with his wet food!

Thank you, Chewy, for being fucking amazing. I can’t believe good people still exist.


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