Froggies.

Our house attracts a lot of frogs. We live in a swamp that has been heavily developed. A lot of my idiot neighbors like to forget it’s a swamp and bitch about the natural inhabitants on Nextdoor. However, the fact remains that we live in a swamp. We also live next to some apartments with a nice pond with fountains next door. And lets not forget my own pool with a pair of lovely babbling (I love the sound) bubblers.

I even enjoy having frogs on the windows at night. They park it on the windows and eat the bugs that fly up towards the light. My cat enjoys pawing at the intruders to his kingdom. I enjoy watching them stalk bugs and taking photos of them. Note that they are bright green tree frogs, so good to look at. Not gross brown icky frogs.

The problem is this. During the day, these tree frogs favor my pool umbrellas over the trees. Perhaps they’re closer to the house so more convenient. Maybe the frogs don’t like a long commute. Or maybe they’re fancy frogs and dig the urban setting. Whatever the reason, they park it in my umbrellas. This is a problem.

Why, you ask, is this a problem? Well, because I use those umbrellas. So when I open them, there’s frogs. I have to stick my head under the fabric and basically close myself in with these slimy bastards. Then slowly crank the umbrella open. Why slowly? Because I need the frogs to inch up the pole to allow the mechanism to rise — but not so much as to cause the frogs to jump. Dear GOD don’t let those frogs jump on me especially my entrapped head and face!. Ick! It’s terrifying! Then when you close them, it’s the same thing just in reverse.

I wonder if I could put petroleum jelly on the poles to keep them away? Any suggestions?