It was the right choice.

So I’m glad I switched jobs. Does some of it suck, yeah. This week was insanely stressful because we had people in from another state down to do dry runs and we didn’t even get them done. My ass is so new that nothing was setup correctly and just fail after fail after fail. With 3 different people breathing down my neck wanting updates on shit I can’t control. One guy even moved into the empty cube next to me so he’d know when we could proceed. So yeah, stressful.

And obviously going back to 9 hour days in office sucks ass. I’d much prefer everyone be in office for like 2 or 3 days a week, or just afternoons in the office. I mean sitting there for 9 hours is just painful. So yes, every day I text my husband about how miserable I am and I want to come home. But that’s kinda just having a job in general. I’ve never been one to like working. Ever.

But it was the right choice. Being back in the office is better for my well being. Working from home full time wasn’t working for me. I was getting depressed and lonely. I need to get dressed and have some days where I’m like “damn, I look good today.” I need small chat. I gotta have it. I want to know what your plans are for this weekend. I want to hear gossip. I want to be walking down the hall and hear someone call out my name. I want to hear the cleaning lady (who, BTW used to be a pharmacist in New York but found it far too stressful) wonder why she didn’t see me on Monday (I was out, thank you for noticing!).

Do I get exhausted and need to come home and stare at the wall with my cat? Yes. Do I hate having to get to work by 8? Yes. Are the days long and tiresome, yes. But I feel good being back in the grind. In the grind, I don’t feel bad for being lazy as fuck when I’m home.

I like making new work friends. I like that B was telling me about how V is a tough army type but he was never in the army. Oh really? Cause when I met V he was amazed at my goomba tattoo and raised his pants to tell me he usually wears his mario socks. We connected on a different level.

And the work is easier. Is it a lot more work? Yes. But it’s just tedium and frustrating shit. Which, I’ve so far been able to just go “yeah, not my fault.” I’m learning a lot of new things and once I get in the groove it’ll be better. This job is paper work paper work paper work and a shit ton of emails. I can do that though. I can get shit done on a deadline. I can own some documentation. Is it a pain? Yes. But hey, you gotta have a job. I don’t work well without tight deadlines. I’m too lazy. I admit this.

And it’s so awesome to feel those moments of boss bitch. Like yeah, I own this. I’m good. I know it. I haven’t felt that way in a long time and I certainly didn’t get to feel that way working from home. And im really enjoying the “office friendships” I’m developing.

So yeah, I wish I could do half weeks or half days from home. But then again, you gotta pay the bills and you can’t always get what you want. I think taking the lesser job and going back to office full time was the right choice for me.