Mood

I had a lovely brunch with my friends today at the swanky brunch place. It was delicious I had bacon and strawberries with my omelet. But I find myself in a mood. A mood best described as “Jesus Christ, I hate the human race.” No, not because of my friends. Just a general mood.

I’m anxious. My husband has a wound on his back that is going to take forever to heal and I’m worried about him. One, I know it makes him crazy anxious. But two, He doesn’t get enough good food to heal a wound like that. A male of his weight should get 51 grams of protein a day according to the internets. And I’d be surprised if he gets half that on a normal day. And that’s the normal amount — he needs even more than that to create new skin to cover and fill a hole bigger than a quarter. Like it’s gonna take a long time to heal anyway. But I’m worried it won’t heal for him. I’m legit worried that he just doesn’t eat the nutrients his body needs for that kinda construction work.

So I have that on my mind. I also felt a bit like I didn’t have much to contribute to conversation at brunch. I adore my friends and these are two of my besties. So I know they don’t care. But I don’t know, I feel so boring and uninteresting. And when I’m anxious I’m just not super chatty. So I feel like a boulder, does that make sense?

Plus I had to go to the grocery store after brunch. In the pouring rain. Hence the “hate the human race” mood. Like seriously, I hate these fucking people. So many fucking people. And really, just no. You can’t do anything right when I’m in this mood. But really, is it so fucking hard to slice meat? Why is only one meat slicer working? And I’ve waited here longer than those people wanting sandwiches, so why do they get their meat cut before me? We should be taking turns! It’s my turn! MINE! They weren’t even here when I started standing here waiting on your slow ass. Slice my fucking deli meat. And bitches, MOVE. Also, put on your goddamn shoes and get off your phone.

Mood.

So I bought two big pumpkins and two little pumpkins. Cause fucking I deserve it. And I came home and put them on the porch and the counter. And then I remembered those gorgeous yellow mums I’ve been coveting when I drive by the nursery. So I went out again and got two of those. And went back to the store for 4 more pumpkins.

I did not get the mums I coveted so much. They’re fully bloomed and GORGEOUS. However, the ladies at the nursery recommended these instead. They have not bloomed yet but will in two weeks. And they should bloom all the way through Thanksgiving — longer than the ones I coveted. So these will be gorgeous in two weeks.

I’ve never put a bunch of pumpkins on the porch for Fall. But honestly, yall I deserve it. I’ve been so drained lately. I even saw the doctor about how shitty I’ve been feeling and he couldn’t help. Not emotionally shitty, thats just a passing mood. I mean physically shitty. I’m so tired and keep getting hot flashes and headaches. And I need to be open to new jobs which is crazy stressful. So seeing something cute on my porch really brightens my day more than you would think. When I’m coming home I’m looking forward to it. And I adore pumpkins. So when I see something bright or decorative when I pull into the driveway, it really lifts my spirits. It’s like “this is why I work.” Ya know?

If some asshole steals my pumpkins, I’m gonna fucking lose it. FYI.