Tag: pumpkins

Fall Stairs

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Fall Stairs

So, I had all my pumpkins around the house.  Some had spider mites and I was trying to be okay with it but they were multiplying and I was afraid they’d get in my plants.  So I finally decided to ditch the pumpkins. 

Well, that’s an ordeal cause I need to scrape the seeds out before I throw in the compost.  I have a lot of cardboard, but I need to break it down to counter that much pumpkin.  So I started putting them on the back stoop.  Figured I’d scrape them out there later this weekend. 

I felt bad though because they’re so FALL.  And it’s still Fall. 

Then it occurred to me that I’m stupid and they’d look gorgeous on the front steps.  Who cares about mites out there? Look at the pretty!

The Great Inaugural Pumpkin Patch of 2024 Final Results

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So my first time ever growing pumpkins. My first pumpkin patch. How did it go?

Pumpkin Patch Overall Yields

I’ve picked the last pumpkins in the patch. The water is off. So here is the Great Inaugural Pumpkin Patch of 2024 yields.

* 4 Rouge Vif D’ Etampes (One died on the vine during the Great Pumpkin Massacre)
* 5 Musquee De Provence (One died on the vine during the Great Pumpkin Massacre)
* 1 Jack O Lantern (he had a similar stunted friend who rotted on the counter)
* 1 Connecticut Field
* 18 Jack Be Little
* 14 Chinese Miniature White

The picture below shows the pumpkins lined up in the above order and from oldest to newest.

Each large vine was singular in a 20 gallon grow bag. The two miniature vines shared a 20 gallon grown bag. Each individual vine had water that went off every 6 hours into a gallon jug that slowly trickled into the bag.

After the Great Pumpkin Massacre, when they were deprived of water for 4 days in mid summer, the two french varieties survived by sacrificing a pumpkin each. They shriveled up so the vine could consume the water. The Chinese Whites did not shrivel, but simply stopped growing. After this, the Jack O Lantern and Connecticut Filed never put out any more females.

Pumpkin Variety: Rouge Vif D’ Etampes

These came from Bakers Creek Seeds. The description warned that they were very unwieldy and I think that made for their survival and bigger yield. They also had HUGE leaves. It was the first and last to put out pumpkins.

Turns out my first pumpkin was my largest and favorite of the season. It was this one (photoed next to my smallest pumpkin):

Part of the way through the season, I started righting the pumpkins as they grew. I think these actually look a lot more fun left to grow in whatever shape they like. Pretty sure these will be the only one I plant again next year (aside from the littles).

Pumpkin Variety: Musquee De Provence

These were the prettiest vines but I won’t be planting them next year. The vines had a gorgeous white veining in the leaves unlike any of the others. And the pumpkins are the most traditional pumpkin shape. The pumpkins grew dark green and looked like a nice watercolor.

If they stayed dark green, I’d like them a lot better. I thought they would turn grey (and some varieties do), but mine turned into a peachy light orange. I’m not a huge fan of the final color. You can see the maturing difference in the first pictures I posted with the whole yields. They’re dark green when you pick them and then they turn peach.

I won’t plant these next year because I didn’t like how pointy the vines were. I went out every day to make sure the flowers got pollinated and walking through the patch in shorts, I got scratched by these a lot. Picking them was also a pain for that reason.

Of note: This one survived the Great Pumpkin Massacre (Drought) by shriveling up and draining a pumpkin:

Pumpkin Variety: Jack O Lantern

This was the biggest let down. Note that these seeds did not come from Bakers Creek, so the quality of the seeds might be part of the problem. They took the longest to mature, so they got a month long head start over the others. I think this head start lead to their detriment when the pests hit. So all of the advance start was wasted to pests.

I’m guessing it was the pests, but this vine only put out 2 pumpkins. They also came out when we had over a week of rain which led to one getting a bit rotten on the bottom. That’s when I learned to put the pumpkins on racks off the ground. I let it keep growing anyway though. I left them on the vine until they ripened because I expected them to get large and they were not at all large. Here they are:

Yeah, talk about disappointing. Also, the only way to hide that bad spot was to set it on its side which was super cute! Until I woke up to pumpkin juice everywhere and had to throw it out and clean up a lot of pumpkin juice.

After the massacre, they didn’t put out any more female flowers. I don’t know if it was the lack of quality seeds, or the attack of pests, but this vine SUCKED. Will no be planting again.

Pumpkin Variety: Connecticut Field

This was a quality seed pack from Bakers Creek like the others, but what a let down. This vine only put out two long vines and one single pumpkin. It was a good size, unlike the Jack-O-Lanterns, but fuck that.

Pumpkin Variety: Miniature

Now these were awesome. I see no point in NOT planting miniature pumpkins. I did two in one container and they had great yields. Specifically: 18 orange Jack Be Littles, and 14 Chinese Miniature White.

So you get a lot of bang for your buck! They make adorable displays because you have so many. And thay mature very quickly unlike the large pumpkins. So less patience required. Seriously, even if I didn’t do a “patch” again, you gotta do the minis. So worth it.

Pumpkin Patch PESTS

I have literally never grown anything on the land that this patch was grown on. So it was even stranger that I had such huge pest problems.

First, came the slugs. I didn’t know what was eating my leaves so I went out one night and found like 15 slugs on the end of my single Jack-O-Lantern vine. They had killed it from that point down. Fuckers. Luckily, slug bait fixed that. But EW — I picked them off that night and just EW.

Then came the squash bugs. They kicked my ass all season. The adults don’t respond to Sevin dust either. So I used ungodly amounts of Sevin Dust and sprayed RAID too. And I had so many bees that I could only spray the RAID in the evening. So it just sucked. And you’d think you got a handle on it only to find a pile of eggs the next morning. FUCK THEM.

Then, after I harvest my last pumpkins, I caught a squash borrower. I never noticed them all season. However, one of my little white pumpkins in the kitchen had gunk on it one evening. Well, that’s weird because I scrubbed them all when I brought them in. So I took it over to the sink to wash it and it had a perfect little circle in it.

I sat it on the counter to stare at it and a little fucking green worm popped out! WTF! Bastard. So I guess those will be a possible problem next year.

None of these vines will be going into the compost due to the pests. I’m going to bag them up in the garbage to be hauled off.

Pumpkin Patch Results

Well, I couldn’t bring myself to put them outside. So I have a lot of cool pumpkin vignettes in the house.

So that’s really fun. And I’m super proud of my pumpkins. It was also a cool hobby to have during the summer. I got to bond with Louie as he got so accustomed to coming out with me every morning. I learned a lot too!

Lessons for Next Pumpkin Patch

I learned early on that you gotta have a watering system. Pumpkins are THIRSTY. And make sure the fucking gutter cleaners don’t turn it off and kill your months worth of work!

Next time I will only plant pumpkins that can cross pollinate with each other. This will alleviate me having to go out every morning to pollinate the flowers. It turns out we had a ton of bees. So next time, they can do the work.

I grew the vines how I wanted them to grow. And that was East (using strings). They do not want to grow East, they want to grow South. So why fight that? Also in this same vein, I planted them where I did to get the most sun. Well, fuck that. They were dying every afternoon. So I would rotate the square I planted them in.

I learned not to let the growing pumpkins sit on the ground. I used my old bakers racks to raise them off the ground. Then some old tiles when I ran out of those. However, with the Rouge Vif D’ Etampes, I learned that those particular pumpkins are cuter if you don’t set them straight upright to grow. They look fun a little wonky. The Connecticut Field is the opposite.

I used cloth grow bags over plastic for appeal, but they just molded and mildewed so that was a waste.

I planted marigolds to attract the pests before they got to the pumpkins, but I didn’t plant them early enough. The pumpkins established months before the marigolds did. So those need to go in way earlier.

In Closing

I have earned my pumpkin tattoos.

It Keeps Spiraling

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The BABIES!

If I turn into a crazy plant lady propagating shit to hoard and sell online, this is where it started. Right here.

Look at these little adorable babies. I made these. Free plants. They’re cuttings from my other plants. LITTLE BABIES! On the left, you’ve seen my Fishbone Cactus scrap cuttings. They’re doing well. And on the right we have K’s prayer plant. She requested a cutting of mine. I didn’t want to cut it, but she did cut her Christmas Cactus for me so…

It actually worked out for the better. I had three vines just growing all lopsided and sloppy. I snipped off one vine and made 5 cuttings. Then, I actually staked the other two vines. So my original plant actually looks better than ever! It’s all spread out and just popped out three new leaves! And LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE BABY! So adorable! I love it. I wants to keep it. I don’t need it and I don’t do unglazed terracotta. It’s just adorable. It’s also the only 2 cuttings that rooted. Yeah, this one didn’t take well. I used rooting hormone and everything. 40% survival rating. So I put the two survivors together here.

My little babies!

I actually rooted some of the Christmas Cactus of Friendship for K2 earlier. Now it’s on to the third friend in the chain! All three of those cuttings grew great roots. I watered them last weekend while K2 was on vacation and all three cuttings had baby leaves already! So fun! Baby plants! Free plants!

PUMPKINS!

Also, right on time, Publix has their pumpkins out! So normally I would have bought a few. But I already have my own pumpkin display!

These are the guys that survived the Great Pumpkin Massacre. Obviously squash bugs kicked my ass this year. And there was a huge learning curve. So my harvest wasn’t huge. And then…well, the massacre. That’s why there are so many super teeny tiny white pumpkins. The massacre halted their growth and they tiny. But adorable.

However, three of the vines have started putting out again so I think I’ll get a few more pumpkins! I will do a post at the end of the season and show all of them and everything I got from each vine. Believe me, I’ve taken tons of photos. I love pumpkins (have you seen my tattoo? There’s two main pumpkins, a Jack-O-Lantern lid on my shoulder and a big pumpkin vine on my back)! Lots of lessons learned this year. But to think — this is from SIX PLANTS. Six tiny little seeds. Six seeds made all this! Did it cost more than the Publix pumpkins? Yes. Was it hard? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. Am I so proud? Hell yes. My pumpkin babies! It’s like magic. Like six tiny little seeds in some dirt made all these. Like how? MAGIC IS HOW.

Composting

What else? Oh, I’m going to start composting now. I’ve been toying with the idea this season. Mainly just because of dirt storage. I usually over winter my summer plant dirt in pots or a bag in the garage. But you have to keep that shit watered or it becomes hydrophobic. So you literally have to water dirt. Last year was the first year I’ve ever overwintered plants. I’ll be overwintering my ferns this year and maybe the front porch plants. But I’ll still have a ton of dirt. Those pumpkins are in six 20lb grow bags. And I’m overwintering the lemon grass as rooted cuttings in water. So there’s all the dirt from them too. Dirt is expensive.

(NOTE: On second reading, yall might not know why I store dirt! Ha! Well, dirt is different all over the world. I happen to live where it’s all red clay. Like my outside dirt is red clay. It’s hard and it stains fucking everything. Red clay mud is the devil. So we have to buy our gardening dirt. When we plant flower beds, we buy all that dirt. Like the first time I traveled and saw a bunch of black dirt just on the ground, I was like “that’s a lot of money wasted.” So yeah, we have solid as fuck foundation dirt — but not good for the pretty plants dirt. We buy that shit. And it’s expensive.)

Also, this year I got a real eye opener in good dirt vs bad dirt. I got some super cheap dirt at first so I have a few pots with it. Then I bought two car loads of good dirt for the pumpkins and front porch. So at the plant swap, I picked up 3 miniature sunflowers. I put two on the front porch (in the good dirt pots) and one on the back stoop (in the poor dirt pot where the coleus hasn’t even done well). Holy shit. The sun is about the same. The water is about the same. But DAMN. The ones in the front have had like twenty blooms each. The back — maybe five? And that dirt won’t hold water to save its life. Even the coleus is sad in it.

So I’ve been tossing around the idea of composting. K2 jumped on it like a spider monkey because she wants to stop throwing away her food scraps. So if I compost, she can dump them here. And we have a lot of food scrap too. Come fall, I’m going to have a lot of plant scarp as well. And dirt to store. So… why not compost it? It’s not like I don’t have the ROOM.

So I’ve been learning. I learned it actually required effort, one. I mean I thought shit just rotted in a pile but no, it’s more complex than that. I learned about ratios and that it actually might require watering. Well, I had planned to chunk it in the back of our lot. But if I gotta turn this shit weekly (more like daily if I hot compost)…

In the beginning, I probably will actually hot compost when I clean up the pumpkin vines. Maybe get the yard guy to bag the clippings next cut to get started. And I’m already storing up all the brown packing paper I get for the browns. (Simplest dumb way to hot compost is apparently 50% greens to 50% browns. Stir to aerate daily or you get the sludge of death from too much anaerobic greens). And the browns need enough water to break down because brown cardboard and paper is kinda dry.

So weekly and sometimes daily effort plus water hauling? That’s not going in the back of the lot. I’m not walking all the way back there every day to do manual labor. There’s poison ivy in that grass, on all the trees, and I can’t get near the over growth. So no. It needs to be closer to the house. So I need bins. I need affordable and something husband won’t despise. (Do yall know he’s trying to say I don’t need my fancy pendant grow light for the Great Monstera? Um I do, and I will buy it anyway). So I try not to push him all the time. When it was going in the back of the lot I was gonna throw up some metal panels or something, but closer to the house I don’t want it to look like shit. So I’m doing something like this. I have this drawn up in Photoshop because I was querying local wood makers on prices:

So that design is from a kit I found, and a bunch of ideas from various youtube videos. I think the lids will actually be metal siding/roofing to keep most of the rain out, but obviously it won’t keep all of it out. Or I might still do mesh — not sure. I could even just use an old tarp and stretch it over the wood frame of the lid like a canvas. I have a clever solution for holding and closing the lids that I’ll totally show you. I’ll document my build. The sides will be the wood slats, but I bought 1/4 inch metal hardware cloth to staple all the inside edges. This will help keep the finer bits of compost in while allowing plenty of air. And I’ll do mesh on both sides of the center divider framing so there will be a good 1 inch pocket there — more air.

I really thought I could get someone local to do something cheaper than the kits online. But wood prices have skyrocketed so damn much, it’s just not gonna happen. It’s such a simple design too! The kit has all precut pieces and is expandable I figured local build wouldn’t have to do all those cuts. Wouldn’t need the dividers. Could just screw everything together on site. Nope. No one could come close to matching the kit prices.

So I’m going with the three foot composter from Cedar Wood. Did you know you need at least a 1 meter x 1 meter pile to hot compost? You do. So I’m going to buy two of these kits and bastardize it. I calculated all sorts of ways to do this. One composter plus spare parts (you can buy individual bits on the site). Two composters. A composter plus an HVAC cover. I’ve been mathing. I settled on two composter kits which I will use to create my three bin system with exactly six three-foot lengths of cedar leftover (plus a lot of spacers I won’t need). Those will probably be involved in the lids.

You can buy these kits at Home Depot so I did think to look around the internet for coupons and prices. They’re actually cheaper on almost every other site, including Lowes. But look at you, Wayfair, with the deep cut! I see you! Order placed. It will be here tomorrow.

So tomorrow I will have the kits, my plan, and the mesh. I’m sure that will take me longer than this weekend to get the sides up and the mesh in. The mesh is going to take a long time. The kit should go together nicely. Though I have a few things I want to pick up from Home Depot before I build them. Mainly some over priced prowood to cut squares to sit under the posts. I also need wood to repair the fence that blew down in the storm today anyway…

So I’m, for once, not doing it all at once. I’m going to get the frame up and contemplate the fronts and lids. I’m thinking siding (vinyl or metal?), some sort of plastic? Not sure what I want to use. I’m going to try to use the dovetail cuts in the posts for the fronts but I fear they will be too thin and I’ll need to resort to my diagram of how I would have made them if I didn’t have precut trench in the posts. So I’m gonna build it and see what I’m working with. I’m also going to see what Home Depot has and how much it costs. Because cost matters.

So yeah. I thought I was a farmer growing pumpkins! Now I’m getting into fucking composting. Good lord. Bring your food scraps over, I’ll dump them in my compost. But not yet because like, it’s not done and I don’t have freezer space. I know. I’m sad too. I’m gonna have to toss these rotten bananas. Next time, though, the rotten bananas are compost food!

THEY KILLED MY PUMPKINS!

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Oh my god. Yall. Yall. I can’t. I fucking CAN’T WITH THIS.

We had our gutters cleaned Thursday (four days ago). Today, I found out that they disconnected the automatic watering system to the pumpkins. They hooked it back up (hence, I didn’t notice) but neglected to turn the water back on.

Now, I don’t expect you to know how I have my water hooked up or why. But I do expect you to tell me when you fuck with it. WHY WOULD YOU NOT?

And you may ask yourself, why didn’t I notice they weren’t getting watered? Well, they droop dramatically between waterings (every 6 hours) every day because it’s in the 90s every day. They pop back up at the next watering, so I’m used to ignoring the wilt. Also, I have been fighting squash bugs with all my life this summer. Just last week I saw MORE EGGS on a leaf. So yeah, I did notice they looked bad. I put out a whole bottle of Seven and a whole can of Raid this weekend.

I also ordered some worm castings concentrate from Amazon to try to perk them up. Today, I decided to turn on the automatic waterer which would fill the gallon jugs and I could just drop the concentrate in each jug.

So I switch the waterer to manual and it kicks on (the water left in the hose) and immediately off. I fuck with it for a while. Try a few more times. Nothing. It’s hooked up! I unscrew it… no water. There’s no water coming through the hose. So I go to the spigot on the house — it’s turned off.

Why would it be turned off? This hose goes under the pumpkins, you can’t use it. Oh. Oh. They must have disconnected it and used another hose and then reconnected mine but didn’t turn the water back on.

That explains the rotting baby pumpkin I lost yesterday (I tend them daily). That explains…

All of this.

Those motherfuckers killed my pumpkin patch. Will the rest of the growing pumpkins die as well? Will any of the vines bounce back after four days in scorching heat and full sun without a drop of water?

MY PUMPKIN PATCH!

I don’t even WANT to begin to add up how much money I have poured into this pumpkin patch. The set up of buying everything, all the dirt, all the squash bug treatments, all the fertilizers, the compost, the mulch, the DAILY tending.

MY PUMPKINS.

YOU KILLED MY PUMPKINS.

I had a terrible day at work and now you’ve destroyed months of work. Months of a new hobby to try and bring some joy to my life AND THEY KILLED IT.

I’m going to go die now.

Pumpkin Farming Adventures

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Welp, the first pumpkin patch experiment continues. I’m learning a lot. It’s not going as well as I had hoped. Keeping up with their water needs has been a huge pain. I had to get a cheap irrigation line and timer. The timer runs every 6 hours (it was that or every 12). They still wilt in the afternoon heat.

But then, global warming is killing us. Like literally, it’s cooking us.

Then I thought, maybe the water was draining through too fast. So I rigged up milk jugs to fill with the water and slowly disperse it through a pin hole. They perk up right after watering, but I worry how it will affect the fruit.

Slugs have also proven to be a problem. I expected assault from above and so I used insect netting. Turns out slugs were coming out between the mesh barrier and concrete and munching my leaves. I went out one night and saw the fuckers just eating away! WTF?

At first, they just terminated two vines early. But by the time I got slug bait/poison, they got to the heart of one plant and the main vine of another. Here’s how they looked this weekend:

Last night, I went out and cut off all the yellow leaves and found the heart of the problem. They had directly attacked the main vine. It has healed, but all that yellow in the middle died. Here it is today:

So frustrating! That’s the Jack-o’-lantern plant that had a month head start over the others. It takes 120 days to mature so it went out early. Bastard slugs!

Still, I’m finally getting some female flowers to pollinate! You can see that I removed the insect mesh since it wasn’t doing any good. I decided it would better serve me to cover more ground to keep out slugs and keep the weed vines from tangling with my pumpkin vines.

The past two mornings I’ve been able to go and fertilize two females each morning. Two minis and two large. Tomorrow, another large should bloom.

Im not sure if it was the slugs or my pinching off the male flowers that was causing my females to prematurely fall off. Maybe both. But now that I’m letting them bloom freely and removed the netting, there are many happy bees. Look at these cuties from this morning:

They were inside the prettiest vine. I think this is the vine that grows the big grey/green pumpkins. Love the variegated leaves and it has the prettiest flowers.

Unfortunately, it’s also the ones where the slugs attacked in the soil. I know because the marigolds I planted there are heavily munched. It is stunted, but still has some growth. No females on that one yet.

Lessons Learned So Far

I was very smart to put down a ground barrier. So smart that I used the insect netting to extend that barrier on the side. I used a sun sail and it is great. It’s thick and doesn’t let water sit long. Also blocks the light out and looks clean. However, I think the double layer of insect netting will serve the same purpose at a cheaper price. It’s much thinner. It will not keep light from the weeds, but it will keep them under it. It also stays wet longer, but I don’t think it’ll be too bothersome.

I like the twine that I tied from the plants (the poles that were holding up the netting) to stakes across the barrier. The vines want to grow towards the south and I’m training them to the East. I just inspect them every day or two to note female flowers and twist the latest growth around the twine. Also, since I’m growing in grow bags, the main plant is about 2 feet off the ground. This led to my first vine folding under its weight (had to use wood trim to support it). The twine has allowed me to slowly train the vines down to the ground while supporting the weight.

As for cons, well, slugs. I’ve got bug repellent and slug killer out now. The vines are so close together that it is murder to walk through for inspection. But I have to keep track of my female flowers. I only have one of each vine so I can’t rely on the pollinators. Maybe two of each type next year? Or make sure I use the same species so they can inter-pollinate? I will judge after the yield.

I’ve also let the vines on the sides spread out to make more room. I’m even letting the Jack-o’-lantern climb the stair railing to get it off the ground and away from the slugs.

The critter netting worked great until I could get everything growing well. Then, I added a layer of compost and a layer of mulch.

Instead of the cheapest timer, it might have been worth getting one with more customization options. Then I could water only in the heat of the day and not every 6 hours. Turn it on when it’s drooping and skip watering when it rains.

Another fail was using a cheap hose. I hooked up the timer with a cheap hose. It burst the next day. No shit. I guess it wasn’t meant to hold water pressure in a bend and full Alabama sun. Had to steal the hose from the garage for it!

This has been a more expensive and frustrating adventure than expected. Especially before this week. For two months I’ve been tracking female flowers only for them to fall off before they bloom. Now that I’m getting possible pumpkin babies, I’m much happier. I do hope they survive so I can watch them grow!

Oh, and I bought little labels to very loosely tie around the females to keep track of them. Super helpful when digging around in there to see if they’re soon to bloom. The females grow much closer to the main stem so you have to push leaves aside to find them.

It’s a big learning experience. I do hope to have something to show for it this Fall! It’s also been nice to watch it grow in that ugly rock corner. Such insanely large plants I started from seed!

Grow, my pumpkins, grow!

Listen to the SMEs.

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So THIS is why people just save lemongrass stalks from year to year and no one grows from seed.

I cut those stalks clean not 48 hours ago. This is only the second time I’ve watered them. I cut all the leaves off so they’d focus on root growth. All 8 stalks have new shoots like a centimeter long! Even the one that had like no roots and just a bulb nub.

Y’all, my seedlings have been under 2 inches for like a month. I’ve got them out there with a grow light and a fan on a timer. Gave them miracle grow under watered for three days now. NO DIFFERENCE.

The experts know what they’re doing. Wish I’d done more research months ago and learned how they propagate them before I jumped in with seeds. These stalks were way more expensive than seed, but far cheaper than a lemongrass plant. From now on, we doing this every year.

No pumpkin sprouts yet.

Gardening and Back Aches

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The Squirrel Dilemma

So where were we? Ah yes, I was complaining about the frogs that tried to kill me when I watered my overwintered plants outside for the first time. Yes. I now have three sun ferns and some mandevillas out back plus the same porch plants from last year.

Problem is… squirrels. I love squirrels, don’t get me wrong. But they start digging up all my plants. Every single pot. Look at this motherfucker on my Ring camera:

I couldn’t figure it out. I thought they might be burying the peanuts I feed them. I dug around in the pots and found no nuts. I went to the internet. Apparently, they dig around for stuff that might have been buried last Fall? What the fuck? I just potted these. There’s nothing there, dumbass. Why haven’t I ever seen them dig elsewhere? I hate to jinx myself, but they don’t dig up my flower beds. I don’t see little holes all around my yard.

They weren’t just looking once either. They were digging them up multiple times a day. One day, my Mandevillas had their damn roots exposed! So something had to be done. For what I had out already, I just used the bastard pool rocks. I just put rocks all around the plant in the pot. I’m not sure about this for the ferns though, because they will want to expand. Maybe I can remove them later. We’ll see about those. For the others, it’s a great solution. They haven’t bothered them since.

But what about my lemongrass and pumpkins? Those will be seedlings. I can put rocks around those. So I decided on critter mesh to keep… well… critters away. So I proposed an errand day to my friends. We went to Cat Bird Seat and Lowe’s.

I needed to replace a dying succulent in my table center piece. I needed dirt for my pumpkins and lemongrass. And, of course, critter netting. So I set out with K, K2, and K’s SO.

Don’t shop for plants with friends (AKA “Enablers”)

We went to Cat Bird Seat first. Just a local plant place. They’re super close and also on the way to the big box stores. K2 proposed that they would have a better succulent collection. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a nice colorful one like the one I was replacing. They did, however, have a large selection. I narrowed it down to two little guys. One I chose for the color pop of pink edges. The other for the quirkiness. I presented my two options to my friends to ask which I should go for. They insisted I get both. I told them I only had room for one. They suggested I get another tiny pot and go for “levels.”

Goddammit they were right. I got them both plus a super tiny pot from Lowe’s. A few weeks ago I already added river rocks to this centerpiece because the bottom of the terrarium was showing rust. Now it’s like major upgrade. I already had the main pot on the riser. I just slid it to the side a bit for the little guy. LOOK AT THE LEVELS. It’s so dynamic. And the rocks look great.

PUMPKINS!

So then we headed to Lowe’s. Why Lowe’s? Because Lowe’s and Home Depot are very close together and K was in the left lane which went towards Lowe’s. Highly complex decision making, clearly. It worked out great though. They had a sweet deal on dirt! One cubic foot of fertilized top soil for $2. That’s a steal! I got regular top soil that wasn’t fertilized for $2.99 and thought THAT was a good deal. I need a lot for my 5 pumpkin pots.

Well, they’re aren’t pots, per se. They’re actually nursery bags inside nursery fabric pots. The bags, which won’t break down, are ugly and just for growing, not showing. The fabric pots are nicer, but they are biodegradable. So I combined the two so I can reuse them. Fabric pot on the outside, lined with a bag on the inside. Yes, the bottom of the fabric pot will still be wet, but I hope to get a few seasons out of them. Also, the fabric pots would drain from all areas. With the bag, only the drainage holes will drain.

Anyway, I needed to get these pumpkins out ASAP. I knew they needed to go out in May. After the clusterfuck of lemongrass seeds that wouldn’t sprout, I need to get them out on time. That way if I have bad seeds, I can buy new seeds and still get pumpkins. So I spent the weekend filling my pots. I did NOT buy enough dirt. I figured one bag would be plenty per pot. I was wrong. Each pot took two bags. So yeah, I had to go BACK to Lowe’s on Sunday for even more dirt. (Also, I did look up how big a pot I would need for a pumpkin. 20 gallons. That’s why I couldn’t afford to buy actual pots.)

Now these pots are heavy. Thank god for my garden wagon! I managed to get them all out. I used broken umbrella pieces (not a hoarder) and tennis balls to hold up the critter netting. I used it doubled over and tucked it under the pots on the front and sides. Then I used 3 packs of binder clips to secure the back so I can have access as needed.

Once the vines grow long enough, I will lay out a sunshade over the rocks to keep the weeds out and allow the vines to stay neatly on top. I chose a sunshade because mesh tarps are crazy expensive. I don’t need anything strong, I need something that blocks light but is water permeable. So sunshade! I’ll buy some more critter netting to go over the vines too. Not sure how I’ll hold the netting up as I’m out of umbrella parts.

So may I introduce you to the very first day of my very first pumpkin patch!

But wait, there’s more.

I was researching caring for pumpkins so I can nail this. And everyone kept mentioning planting in July. Why July? I need 120 days to mature on the big ones and 90 on the small — that’s 4 months! Oh… fuck me. October is the TENTH month. So I need to plant them… in the SIXTH month… which is June.

Fuck me.

So if these grow, I’m going to get my small pumpkins in 90 days which is… early August. Yeah… that’s not gonna last till Halloween.

Fuck me.

So I guess this is a tester batch to see if these seeds sprout. Yeah. That’s it. I’ll pluck them when they do and replant at the correct date. Ignore the stupid person.

The Lemongrass Experiment

On to the lemongrass. Well, I fear I planted this one too late. The seedlings are so very tiny. I needed to get the domes off so I moved them to the garage. I’m going to stop top watering and switch to bottom watering with a bit of miracle grow. I also set up a fan to start hardening them up. It will run on its lowest setting for 4 hours on, 4 hours off, rinse and repeat.

Also, I’ve done so much lemongrass research. The reason I had difficulty finding seeds was that no one grows from seed. They grow from last years harvest. At the end of the season, you dig up the stalk and peel away all the leaves. Wash it really good so that there’s no dirt and a little bit of roots. Put all your stalks in a vase with cold water that you change out every week. Then next year, plop the stalk in the ground and your plant comes back. Obviously, I will do this from here on out if my lemongrass is successful.

To give my tiny baby lemongrass a boost, I did buy 8 stalks of wintered lemongrass. I got those planted up today in smaller, more colorful fabric pots. When my seedlings are ready to go, I can put those in there too. Since I want a lot of grass blades, I can plant a lot close together. Each plant will only put out between 10 and 20 blades. I’m growing them for the oils and scent, not for cooking. So I’m not trying to get thick juicy stalks.

They are currently in the garage because I need more critter mesh to cover them before they go outside. Hopefully, I will get them out tomorrow as I do not have another grow light. I should have had enough critter mesh, but I doubled up over the pumpkin patch. So tomorrow, I can add critter mesh and get those out in the sun.

I’ll continue rotating my seedings and hardening them up in the garage until they’re a bit more ready to go outside.

Mood

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Mood

I had a lovely brunch with my friends today at the swanky brunch place. It was delicious I had bacon and strawberries with my omelet. But I find myself in a mood. A mood best described as “Jesus Christ, I hate the human race.” No, not because of my friends. Just a general mood.

I’m anxious. My husband has a wound on his back that is going to take forever to heal and I’m worried about him. One, I know it makes him crazy anxious. But two, He doesn’t get enough good food to heal a wound like that. A male of his weight should get 51 grams of protein a day according to the internets. And I’d be surprised if he gets half that on a normal day. And that’s the normal amount — he needs even more than that to create new skin to cover and fill a hole bigger than a quarter. Like it’s gonna take a long time to heal anyway. But I’m worried it won’t heal for him. I’m legit worried that he just doesn’t eat the nutrients his body needs for that kinda construction work.

So I have that on my mind. I also felt a bit like I didn’t have much to contribute to conversation at brunch. I adore my friends and these are two of my besties. So I know they don’t care. But I don’t know, I feel so boring and uninteresting. And when I’m anxious I’m just not super chatty. So I feel like a boulder, does that make sense?

Plus I had to go to the grocery store after brunch. In the pouring rain. Hence the “hate the human race” mood. Like seriously, I hate these fucking people. So many fucking people. And really, just no. You can’t do anything right when I’m in this mood. But really, is it so fucking hard to slice meat? Why is only one meat slicer working? And I’ve waited here longer than those people wanting sandwiches, so why do they get their meat cut before me? We should be taking turns! It’s my turn! MINE! They weren’t even here when I started standing here waiting on your slow ass. Slice my fucking deli meat. And bitches, MOVE. Also, put on your goddamn shoes and get off your phone.

Mood.

So I bought two big pumpkins and two little pumpkins. Cause fucking I deserve it. And I came home and put them on the porch and the counter. And then I remembered those gorgeous yellow mums I’ve been coveting when I drive by the nursery. So I went out again and got two of those. And went back to the store for 4 more pumpkins.

I did not get the mums I coveted so much. They’re fully bloomed and GORGEOUS. However, the ladies at the nursery recommended these instead. They have not bloomed yet but will in two weeks. And they should bloom all the way through Thanksgiving — longer than the ones I coveted. So these will be gorgeous in two weeks.

I’ve never put a bunch of pumpkins on the porch for Fall. But honestly, yall I deserve it. I’ve been so drained lately. I even saw the doctor about how shitty I’ve been feeling and he couldn’t help. Not emotionally shitty, thats just a passing mood. I mean physically shitty. I’m so tired and keep getting hot flashes and headaches. And I need to be open to new jobs which is crazy stressful. So seeing something cute on my porch really brightens my day more than you would think. When I’m coming home I’m looking forward to it. And I adore pumpkins. So when I see something bright or decorative when I pull into the driveway, it really lifts my spirits. It’s like “this is why I work.” Ya know?

If some asshole steals my pumpkins, I’m gonna fucking lose it. FYI.