Author: cursingcats.com

MEME TIME!

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It’s time for some memes. I save good ones on my desktop to share here but I never share them. I am tonight because this first one is so very precious I want to cry! Actually, these first two are.

He got his friend a little backpack so he’d have his own shell! Jesus, it’s triggering something in me.

I shared this bat one on Facebook and it got a lot of laugh emojis. But I don’t think it’s funny, I think it’s really sweet and precious. No, I’m not hormonal. I don’t think I am, at least.

These comics were not posted together. I guess I just have a theme…

And we close with cursing parrots. So after I saw this, I did some research on these parrots. So they knew that cursing got a good response from the stupid humans so it only encouraged them to do it more. And then they’d laugh at people. Parrot squad GOALS. So, as I recall, the zoo split them up and mixed them with other parrots hoping they’d move on from cursing. But they started teaching their new parrots friends the bad words. So they had to roll back and take them out of that populace and put them back together. As I recall, the zoo put them back on display together again to curse at humans all day long. They now reside alone away from the other birds down a long sidewalk with warnings about the adult content ahead. I want to visit them.

“The parrots “swear to trigger reaction or a response” so if people look shocked or laugh, it just encourages them to do it more, he said. “With the five, one would swear and another would laugh and that would carry on,” he said.”

Then here’s the update about them getting back together:

“After mixing the parrots with some of the Friskney park’s other birds, keepers said more inhabitants were picking up the parrots’ profanities. Steve Nichols, park chief executive, said: “When they swear, we now get it in probably 15 or 20 different birds, all coming out with the wonderful language. “When this horrendous situation with Covid disappears, we’re going to be setting up a discreet blue corner with a disclaimer before you walk down the path saying, ‘it’s not our fault what you hear’.”

New friend?

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“A bobcat lounges on a dog bed in San Manuel home Mon. The homeowner, who found it upon returning from work, suspects it entered through an unlocked doggie door.”

Listen, I’d like to pretend that I would not approach this bobcat and would immediately go upstairs and call someone. But lets be realistic here. I’m gonna try to make friends with it. I’d be sneaking to the kitchen and throwing it raw chicken. Trying to make it my new cat. I’d be taking pictures. Hopefully, it would growl at me before it ripped my face off. THEN I’d do the right thing before it got worse. But … yeah, part of me would have hope I could befriend it.

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have a dog door. It’s not just the bobcat either. Man give me a freaking raccoon with with creepy little fingers. I’ll hand it treats it can hold onto with his little hands. Or a FOX! Hell, yeah I want a pet fox. It’s not like I went out and caught it — it came to ME. It wants to live here.

Review: Amazon Rashguard #2

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First to catch up from these previous posts:

Review: Amazon Rashguard #1

Review: TomboyX’s Ribbed Swim Sun Shield Crop Top LC – Parasailing

“As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.

“However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like.”

So on to contestant number three…. XAKALAKA Women’s Plus Size Zip-Front Multicolor Striped Long Sleeve Tankini Rashguard Top Size 3X Color: 09 Tropic Flo for $32.99

The first question you may ask is, “Mrs C, why would you get this old lady pattern and not the starry sky or the blue gradient?” And to that I say, what the fuck? Did they not have those when I ordered? ‘Cause those patterns are way better. Do I send this back for one of those? What the fuck did I do? I’m seriously considering replacing it for one of those. Why did I order this Golden Girls pattern? Anyway, it’s not about the pattern. Let’s look past that.

So even if I do exchange the pattern, I’d totally keep it. It’s not the same quality as the TomboyX. However it’s also half the retail price and made in Asia. And it has some features I really like. First, the neck hole isn’t trying to choke me. Thank you, neck hole! This doesn’t zip from top to bottom, but the zipper is about 2/3 of the length. I tried it unzipped a bit and it really didn’t make a difference for better or for worse. This one also has fabric that lays under the zipper to protect your skin so when it’s unzipped, that shows rather than more skin. I think it’s a good feature though. So unzipping this one would just be for comfort, not style.

This rashguard is also full length which might make it a go-to if the cropped ones ride up a lot while swimming. It has ruched sides too. That’s a nifty little detail that makes it cute and adjustable. Just tighten up the strings to make it a little shorter if you have a short torso. But the BEST feature: This is the only rashguard so far with cups. Is it going to support big boobs? Not really. It’s gonna try, but I wouldn’t count on it. The support is only on the front panels, it doesn’t go all the way around. But it has cup pads! They’re very large and oddly shaped pads. I have no idea why they aren’t rounded, but they’re there. Do you know what that means? NO NIPPLES! Yes, it’s the only one of our three contenders to hide pointy nipples.

So full belly coverage and full nipple coverage. This might be the go-to for public appearances. I do like the quality of the TomboyX better. And I feel that since the support in that one wraps all the way around you, it would be more practical if you’re doing physical activities. But for a cheap fast fashion rashguard on Amazon — 5 stars.

I like it so much that I’m sending Amazon #1 back. I just don’t need this many rashguards. It is the cutest as far as pattern and general look goes. I admit that. It’s cute. However, the quality is so very lacking in that one. I just don’t see myself choosing it over this one or the TomboyX ones.

Seriously though, should I send it back for the blue gradient? Do I look like I should be hanging out with Blanche by the pool?

Mammograms Don’t Hurt

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I work a 9/80 schedule. That means I work my 80 hours over nine days instead of the usual ten. So I get every other Friday off. Long weekend! Not really. Everything ends up getting scheduled for that Friday off. So yesterday was a LOT.

I met with the lawyer at 10. Our lawsuit is OVER! (Kinda mostly.) I signed over the settlement check and he wrote me a check for our cut. So we paid him, plus all the stuff like depositions, and he handled negotiating BCBS down to like half of what they paid and sent them their check. The only catch is, we didn’t pay back disability. I had short term disability for two months and the contract you sign states that if there’s ever a settlement, you have to pay them back. Well, we weren’t allowed to bring that up in court. So my lawyer wants to argue that I don’t have to pay it. He sent them a letter over a month ago and they haven’t replied back. So he gave me three options: Just send them a check for the full amount out of my good heart, let him keep negotiating (though he hasn’t heard from them), or just leave it be and wait to hear from them. He recommended and I chose the latter. The contract states that if they do come after me for their money, he still represents me and will negotiate with them. So yeah, IT’S OVER!

Oh, and it was tornado weather. So it was windy as FUCK. So after the lawyer I came home to take a nap, but kept getting alerted by the phone and weather radio for a million things. We were fine tough. Just a trashcan in the yard.

At 1:00, I had to go to the gynecologist. This is always fun. Men don’t have to put up with this shit. I made the appointment because I had been having a lot of pelvic pain and thought maybe my IUD had shifted. So they took my back for an ultrasound. Had me undress (yes, guys — the ultrasound is done from the inside) and did their thing. Then they had me get dressed and moved me to another room for the doctor where I had to undress again. I think this was kinda stupid. Like I’m already naked and up here on an exam table, why we gotta do this twice? Why did I just get dressed?

So I haven’t seen the GYN since I had my tubes removed which means I was way over due for a checkup and a pap smear. So of course we had to do all that. I didn’t mean to not get my pap smears, I just kinda forgot that was a thing I had to do. I have a lot of doctors, okay? So I was toying with having my IUD taken out because I obviously don’t need it, so why have it? A few people had recommended I do an ablation to get rid of periods instead. (I’m writing this as an informative subject, if you’re wondering why I’m writing this). So an ablation would burn out my uterine lining and well, if that’s gone, no periods! My doctor said we could totally do that if I wanted, but she didn’t recommend it. She says it can mask uterine cancer. So stay with the IUD it is.

She also mentioned that now that I’m 40, it’s time for mammograms. I told her I didn’t think I could do mammograms because I have implants. I was wrong. She asked when my last one was. Never. She was shocked that I didn’t have one before my implants. I shrugged. Apparently, this really surprised her because she mentioned it again later in the appointment. Anyway, she gave me the paperwork to schedule the appointment and I went back out to the waiting area to drink water so I could pee in a cup.

Oh yeah, if you’re gonna make me pee in a cup, I need ADVANCED NOTICE. I don’t know if all yall have some special muscle that lets you pee on command, but I do not. If I don’t have to pee, I can’t. So they told me to pee in a cup and I was like, “I’m not pregnant.” Apparently, they check for a lot more than just that so I wasn’t getting out of it. But I had just gone to the bathroom when I left the house — like normal people do. So I had to wait in the waiting room and drink 64 ounces of water.

While I was in the waiting room, I decided to bite the bullet and schedule the mammogram. I knew if I didn’t, I’d put if off forever. I call them up and I’m like “hey, what are the odds I can get in today?” So they called the clinic and surprise! Can I be there in 10 minutes? AWESOME. So I peed in the cup and left.

Turns out the mammogram place is literally next door to my GYN. I thought they meant a building over, but they meant the same hallway. So time to do this. I’ve always heard mammograms hurt. They smush your boobs in between two plates to take pictures and it’s horrible (supposedly). So I was not enthused. I told the person this. She had me put my fist on the machine and clamped it down to show me how much pressure there would be. Instant relief. WTF? Who complained about this? We really need a counter campaign to let woman know this is not a big deal. It doesn’t hurt at all! If you’ve had sex, you’ve had your boobs squeezed so you know what it feels like. Is it awkward? Hell yes. Is it pleasant (when a machine does it)? Nope. Is it painful? Not at all. Every year we have stuff shoved up our vaginas for exams but women are complaining about breast pictures? Suck it up. I just had three different tools shoved up my vagina while I was naked and in stirrups and let the doctor feel me up — that was WAY WORSE than some pictures of my boobs.

Oh and the mammogram lady was shocked I’d never had one. “They put implants in you without doing a mammogram?” Yep. She couldn’t believe it — especially “at [my] age.” So apparently, that’s a thing. How was I supposed to know? Ladies, if you get implants — do a mammogram first. It’s a thing, apparently. Oh and the lady said I was insanely lucky they had an opening. It usually takes 2-3 months to schedule a mammogram but so many people had canceled because of the weather (and school being closed) that they had openings. Cosmic alignment win!

So then I picked up some Chicken Salad Chick for myself and K. I’m not usually on that side of town, so if I am, I pick up a large container of Olivia’s Old South for sandwiches. Then I ran in Target for some Lily’s chocolate chips for brownies. I was gonna go by Publix, but at Target I could get quest pizzas! They were out of the chocolate chips and their freezer section was closed. God dammit. But I did use their restroom because, yall, I drank a lot of water in that waiting room.

Then I took the lawyers check to the bank. I was worried because that side of town had lost power (remember, it’s tornado weather). They were back up though! So I got to deposit the check and even got them to write me a cashiers check so I could pay for the air conditioner repairs. All the money is going straight to the mortgage. Mr C does not believe in debt. So we gotta pay off the house before we do anything else. He said I can get a new car when we pay it off though! Of course he specified we have to save for the car and not take out a loan. But still, once the house is paid off, we’ll be saving a ton each month so it won’t take long. I wanna get a hybrid cross-over or small SUV. So that’s something to look forward to! He’s the one who needs a new car but he doesn’t want one. I don’t wanna drive a tiny car anymore. I wanna win in a car wreck. I’d totally drive a truck, but a small SUV would be way more functional. Also, cheaper than a truck.

So then I dropped off K’s chicken salad (she likes the one with the cranberries — ew) and I renewed our car tags online. Plus I baked brownies. How fucking productive was I? I did ALL. THE. THINGS. I was so proud of myself! Now I’m not gonna get dressed today. I earned it.

So ladies, remember: MAMMOGRAMS AREN’T PAINFUL. It doesn’t hurt! Insurance covers them! Go get them when your doctor says to!

Review: TomboyX’s Ribbed Swim Sun Shield Crop Top LC – Parasailing

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First, to catch up from last post: “Review: Amazon Rashguard #1”:

“As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.

However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like.”

OK! On to today’s contestant: TomboyX. This is their Ribbed Swim Sun Shield Crop Top LC – Parasailing. Why does it say Parasailing? No idea. This retails for $69 and I paid just over $40.

First, lets talk about the price and TomboyX. This is going to be a lot more expensive than the Amazon contestants. Fact. Why? Well, most stuff on amazon is fast fashion and probably made by people making barely above slave wages. TomboyX is a company whose corporate office is mostly made up of (80%) women and (63%) LGBTQ. They are certified for sustainability and their factories are certified with the Fair Labor Association. Even the plastic zipper bags your stuff comes in is biodegradable. So this is NOT fast fashion. These are made to actually last. Also, they’re a bit of a niche company. All of their stuff is multi-sex. Women, Men, Trans — it’s all for everyone. They even have one cup bras for mastectomy patients. I actually, really like this company and I have a few of their products. So with that out of the way…

I love this! OK, first, it’s not as cute as Amazon #1 was:

I think there are a few reasons for that. One, it doesn’t have a cute summery pattern. Two, the neck line. Amazon #1 would have looked the same zipped up, but I don’t have to zip it all the way up and I won’t. This one, you have no choice. It’d be so much cuter with a V neck or something. HOWEVER, this is a rashguard. They’re all tight against the neck like this for sun protection. Also, most of the TomboyX customer base doesn’t want to show off the boobies. That’s the only downsides.

The upsides: I love this fabric! It’s so soft. It actually just looks like a cropped top. I tried it on with jeans and I was like “I could go to the store in this.” It also has a built in breast support! So no need to wear something under it like Amazon #1. It’s just a mesh tank, but it helps a bit. There’s gonna be nipples but not so drastic as if you had nothing.

I was very afraid that it would be too cropped for me. However, I’m wearing it in the picture with some very high-waisted bottoms. There’s actually a good 2-3 inch overlap between the bottoms and the top. I will note that the bottoms that “match” this on the site are not as high-waisted as the ones you see me wearing. The mesh lining on this top is a really good fit for me. The outer fabric is nice and loose. I sized up. I usually wear a 2X in womens tops and a 42DDD bra. I ordered this in a 3X. (Oh, did I mention the size inclusivity of TomboyX? I love them! This top goes up to a 4X).

And the best part? THUMB HOLES! That’s right. If I gotta wear long sleeves when it’s 100 degrees outside, at least give me some fun thumb holes.

So I mentioned in the last review that I wouldn’t wear the amazon one for any hard-core purposes. At least not in the size I bought it in. I wouldn’t trust it not to be shifting all over the place and suffering from “wardrobe malfunctions.” I’d wear this thing out on a jetski or bouncing on a float dragged behind a boat. The mesh under top makes it feel secure. Though I do wish the under layer was attached at more than just the shoulders. You almost have to put on the mesh top and then the over top.

So yeah, not only am I keeping it. So far it is my favorite. I even ordered the other one that’s on sale! It’s a different material and has a more fun print. I think these are going to be my main summer pool wear.

Peek-A-Boo

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My tattoo got to make its first appearance as a peek-a-boo today. The weather was a gorgeous 73 degrees so short sleeves were called for. I was so excited, I even took a picture before work:

Then, on my way into work I hopped in the elevator. Don’t judge me! I have a sprained ankle still. Anyway, a coworker hopped on with me. She said “I love your tattoo! Is that a cat!?” I showed her. She LOVED IT. So we talked for like 30 minutes about tattoos and cats. I texted her the artists info because she’s looking for a good artist as she unhappy with her current tattoo (I thought it looked great).

But yeah — I was internally squealing with glee!

First hour out and someone loves it. Maybe even made a new work friend!

Review: Amazon Rashguard #1

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As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.

However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like. TomboyX has two on clearance so I ordered one of theirs. It looks great online, but I’m afraid it’s just going to be too cropped. So I picked up two from Amazon to see if I’m going to want to keep it (and maybe order the other color). This review is for our first contestant:

This is the “Hanna Nikole Women’s Plus Size Rashguard 3 Pieces Athletic Bathing Suit Zipper UPF 50+ Surfing Swimwear” Size 20 in “wave pattern.”

I’m keeping it. The value is insane. It’s three pieces for $37.99 so that works out to just over $12 per piece. Around my pool, I probably won’t wear the tank under it, but for a party or the beach, I will. I also don’t find it very comfortable zipped all the way up. I do, however, like it at a 3/4 zip. The material is light and loose enough that I don’t think I’ll despise it in the hot sun. I think the style is reasonably flattering as well. Let’s break down the pieces:

THE SHORTS
The shorts aren’t great. I wouldn’t expect to get heavy use out of them, but they’re fine for a weekend trip. I don’t like that they aren’t lined and the material feels cheap. The coverage and look is good though. They are high waisted, coming up to my belly button. Size is spot on for the shorts. I wear a 18 or 20 in pants (depending on the cut. I have a narrow waist but huge thighs) and these are a good not tight fit. If I was going to be doing something active like surfing or paddle boarding, I’d want them to be tighter because, as I said, they aren’t lined. I’m going to sub these out for some lined high-quality bikini bottoms. However, I’m keeping the shorts for a backup if I need to change into a dry bottom. I’ll use them, just not much. For the price though, come on. The bikini bottoms I’m going to sub them for cost more than this entire three piece. So for the price: They’re good.

THE TANK
The tank is not for someone with big breasts. I wear a 42DDD bra. Again, I ordered this set in a 20. The tank is small. It’s workable, especially just as an underpiece. But I would not be comfortable wearing it alone. The size does not fit with the shorts and shirt at all — unless you have no chest. It’s far too small. That said, the coverage is good. No cleavage showing. I love that it has a built in wireless bra with sewn in cups. No body likes removable cups. However, I’d say this is made for someone closer to a B cup. I’d like it a lot if it was the right size. I do think I will wear it under the rashguard to the beach or when more people are visiting the pool. The rashguard doesn’t have any support or padding to hide pointy nipples, if you know what I mean.

THE RASHGUARD:
So this is what I consider myself paying for. The other two pieces were just freebies, as far as I’m concerned. The material is thin. Not see-through, but thinner than a normal swimsuit. I usually wear a 2x in shirts. Again, this is a size 20. It’s pretty loose. I could definitely size down if I wanted something more fitted. I was worried the sleeves would be too tight, as I have very fat arms. They’re good though! I don’t like how tight it feels on my neck when fully zipped. I think it’s pretty cute partially unzipped though. The thin material will require you to wear something under it for support and coverage of nipples. The full length zipper also has a little fabric fold over the bottom so you won’t be snagging it on things.

CONCLUSION:
Worth the price. But also, you get what you pay for. I’m a heavy user of swim clothes, so I do not anticipate this lasting more than a season. I plan to rotate it out with others during the season as well. The quality isn’t great, but better than I’d expect for this price. It also looks really good. Like if you need this for a weekend or a cruise or the three times you plan to swim this summer, it’ll be fine. You’ll look great.

As far as size goes, I could certainly go down a size on the shirt and shorts if I wanted a more fitted look/feel. (Well, maybe not the thigh hole in the shorts. I have huge thighs). The tank is just really out of proportion with the other two pieces. I’d need at least a size up in it, maybe two.

I’m keeping it. The price is crazy good. It looks cute. Even if I only wear the rash guard a few times, I’m going to get my moneys worth. I really like the print too.

Coming up soon we have the TomboyX rashguard which has a built in bra AND thumb holes. Yeah, thumb holes! But it doesn’t zip and it’s cropped. So depending on how short that crop is, I’m afraid it might be a no go. We also have Amazon #2. It’s partial zip and should have breast pads in it and cinched sides.

Cows and Boobs. But not Cow Boobs, those would be udders.

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So the installation where I work is like a little city. A little city with a lot of land. I guess they bought up a shit ton of land for future growth. I’m sure a lot of it is sound barrier as well. They leave a lot of it forested, but there’s also a lot of pasture. They lease this pasture out to farmers for their cows to graze. The installation gets free land upkeep (and actually, a very small income); farmers get affordable grazing pasture. Win win. But here’s the thing: where are the barns?

I’ve never seen any barns. Just cows. As the installation closed early on Friday due to tornado threats, I worried about the cows. Where do the cows go? Shouldn’t they have somewhere to go to protect them from the elements? What if they get cold? We all saw Twister and the flying cows. So seriously, are these cows OK? There’s no farm infrastructure — just a bunch of cows in a pasture. Maybe the occasional guard Donkey. Do they have enough food? I’m worried about these cows just being abandoned to fend for themselves until butcher time.

I don’t have an answer. I did email the people who lease the land to the farmers to inquire though. ‘Cause inquiring minds want to know, OK? Cows aren’t wild — they’re like Buffalo, right? Do they just stay outside all the time? Where do they sleep? How do they stay safe in storms?

Also. Boobs. Not related to cows. Next subject. Now that I actually have boobs, I have big boob problems. Not that I mind at all, I find it funny. Like the fact that when I take off my bra, I find shit in there. Like peanut skins and shit. It just falls in there. And I’m fat — so like finding that chocolate has melted into your bra is not cool.

Anyway, new big boob problem: I can’t see my belt buckle. It’s only a problem with one of my belts that has a fiddly buckle, but like I can’t see it. When we did bungee fitness, I couldn’t get myself out of the harness because I couldn’t see it to undo it. My boobs were in the way. So that’s a thing. Still love them, though!

Being Responsible

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Man, I hate when you have to do expensive responsible shit. Like you just dropped all this money and don’t even have anything to show for it. Especially the preventative shit. I was about to compare this to gutter cleaning (something we’re about to have done) — but at least you can SEE that they cleaned the gutters. You can see that the gutters aren’t overflowing anymore. Car shit though? You get nothing.

So after driving to Nashville this weekend, I realized I needed an oil change. I don’t know how this escaped me, but I over shot it. I usually get my oil changed when it’s reading like 20ish percent. They always tell me it’s too early, but whatever. This time it got to zero. Yeah. And the oil change light didn’t even come on. I just clicked over to check and “oh shit, it’s at zero!” Welp, now I know why my default screen wasn’t showing like it usually does. I thought the wrench was referring to the bad tire pressure sensor — nope. Must have been the oil thing.

Well, as luck — or whatever the opposite of luck would have it be, I had today off. Yay long weekend! Screw your day off, you have errands now. So I’m gonna go get my oil changed. It’s a pain in the ass because I use the dealership and not one of those fast places. I do this because the dealership price-matches, and they’ve done everything on my car. I bought it there and they do everything on it. Except when I got new tires. NTB had a better deal on the exact same tires. Dealership couldn’t price match because it wasn’t a discount — it was “buy three get one free.” So yeah, other than the tires, they’ve done everything. And they’re honest. I’ve asked them to do things to the car and been told I don’t need it. They seem decent.

I also know for a fact that some places (cough cough Walmart) purposefully cut the lamest corners to save time on an oil change. As long as you keep taking it there, you don’t notice — but take it somewhere decent and now you need a new oil pan. Why? Well to save time, Walmart doesn’t screw the oil cap into the pan. They just stick some glue on it and jam it in there. Cause god forbid it cost you like ONE MINUTE to screw it on. So yeah. The Sonic is the only new car I’ve ever had so I take care of it. It gets everything done at the dealership.

So: Oil change. Oh but wait, you’re at 57,400 miles! Coming up on 60k there. There are things to be done. Haha, fuck you. You need a transmission flush and the throttle body needs to be cleaned. Ok, how often does that need to be done? 60k for the transmission, every 30k for the throttle. Have you ever done that? I don’t know, look in your records and tell me. That’s the advantage to not doing shit anywhere else. So I’ve never done either and my maintenance book does have those in the checklist for 60k so I know they’re not lying. Fine do it.

Oh but hey! I have a coupon! At my 60k checkup, I get a free rental car! No you don’t. But I have a coupon, see. I bought the car here. We don’t have a rental car anymore. What the fuck? The rental car place shut down with covid. Can I get a discount because my coupon is worthless? Nope, I’m already giving you 10%. I work for the army now, is there a discount or that? Same 10%. Damn.

Oh and they NEVER remind me that there’s a fee for paying with credit. I don’t carry around my debit card or a checkbook. Can you just remind me when I drop the car off about the fee? PLEASE. It bites my ass every time.

So now, $640.00 later and I got nothing. I don’t even have a cute air freshener or a pair of socks or a cookie — NOTHING. Just money out the window. The car looks and drives exactly like it did before. Nothing. So lame.

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OK, let me pause to ponder the old “rich get richer while the poor get poorer” thing. We all know this is a thing. Look up Vimes’ Boot Theory or something. I am so very blessed to be able to afford preventative maintenance on my car. This was not something I could have done even 11 years ago. And as such, my car will run better and last longer. I may have just been smacked in the face with a very large bill I wasn’t expecting, but not only can I afford it — it’s preventing an even bigger massive bill when something fails on the car because I didn’t take care of it. So thank you, sweet baby Jesus, for helping me step up in the world!

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Update. I’ve given Qubie (the car) a new airfreshner scent so I feel like something changed.