How is Henry Cavill Superman the same guy as Henry Cavill Geralt of Rivia? Someone tell me how. I have so many questions. One of them: When is Mr C gonna go grey?
Seriously, I wouldn’t believe this is the same actor is it wasn’t for that chin. I don’t get it. Even in a google search 90% of Henry Cavill pictures: He’s not ugly by any means, but not sexy. One Geralt of Rivia picture: hold me back! He’s like the definition of sexy. Maybe a bit of it is that I’ve read the books and would totally do that character — but he’s hot too! Like REALLY hot. Geralt of Rivia does it for me.
And I’m sitting here watching Superman like WTF? How? Why did you do this to Geralt? Why is Geralt such a clean cut pussy now? Lame.
As for the “Curiosities” part of this blog, I thought I might feature things I think are nifty. Most of them will be from Amazon. Not because I get money for links (I don’t have that set up), but because I’m lazy as fuck and most things I have come from there. Sorry, not sorry. Kinda sorry. I mean, it is really fucking convenient but they treat their workers like trash.
I review everything I buy. I’m trying to get into their “Vine Voice” program where they give you free shit in exchange for honest reviews. So far I’ve worked my way up from some 4 or 5 millionth reviewer to in the 2,000s. And I’m a top contributer in Camping and Gardening. Not that I’d camp to save my life, ha. Well wait, I would to save my life. In fact I’m a bit of a prepper so that’s how that happened. We have a fully stocked storm shelter and bugout bags. Check me out; like my reviews. Every helpful vote gets me closer to free shit. (Clicky clicky)
I always cook meat with a thermometer. I’m a great cook, and I could totally not use one and be fine. But why be fine when you can be certain? If I’m serving shit to other people, I’m not giving them food poisoning. Especially Mr C as he has a sensitive tummy sometimes. So chicken, burgers, whatever it is, I’m checking the temperature. I’ve had two digital thermometers that served me well in the past from a wedding gift and then Publix. But they were both lost to dropping them in oil. Sorry, faithful thermometers. And this time, I couldn’t find a damn digital thermometer anywhere in person. Not Publix, not Target, mom looked at Walmart and said not there either. So in steps Amazon. Cause I don’t go to the store.
Why am I showing you this thermometer? Well because it is fucking fantastic, that’s why. It does all the great things a meat thermometer should:
It’s digital
Has a bright back light
Big-ass readable numbers
Magnetic so you can hang it on the fridge or a hook if your more of a hook person.
Reads the temperature super fast (way faster than my old ones)
It’s cheap
Folds up for storage and non-stabbyness
Oh did you not catch the meaning of that last one? I’ll tell you what that means. It means it’s a badass, motherfucking, SWITCHBLADE thermometer. Hell yeah!
Don’t act like anything switchblade is not badass. When you got your first car key that was a switchblade, you loved that shit. Well now your thermometer can be too. Press the button and whip this baby out to check the burgers. “WHAH-CHA” Perfect FDA-approved 160 degrees. Dinner is served.
So for $14 bucks, I highly recommend this thing. As Martha Stewart used to say: “It’s a good thing.”
Mr C’s birthday is tomorrow which means: CHOCOLATE MOUSSE! Wait no. Usually it means chocolate mousse. This year he wants Aunt Ks lemon tart. The tartiest tart of them all. The one that makes your face pucker just looking at it. I have no idea how he likes it so much. But OK. We tart.
I cheated this year and used a premade pie crust instead of making my own. Fail. The premade pie crust is so thin and doesn’t give the cookie kinda thick texture this baby needs. You gotta have something substantial with that tart. Jesus, how do yall eat this?
When I finished the custard last night it was delicious. So sweet and lemony. But after setting up in the fridge, holy moly. I served him a slice and had a bite. All of me puckered and an eye twitched. I can’t do it. Give me ghost pepper spices but good lord give me more sugar with my lemons. It sounds like there’s a ton of sugar in this recipe, but remember this is all pure lemon juice and zest. No water, no cream, just lemon. I got two thumbs up on the custard but two thumbs down on the crust. Contemplating making a new crust and scooping the custard into that. (Tart picture from previous cooking where I made the crust. It looks better too).
Here’s the recipe for those of you following along at home. This filled two regular pie crusts.
Lemon tart pastry shell
2 c flour
12 T butter, chilled 6 T sugar
1 large egg beaten
pinch of salt (if using salted butter skip this)
In a medium sized bowl, combine the flour, sugar and salt. Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in butter until the mixture resembles fine meal. Add the egg and mix until just combined. Gather into a ball. Flatten slightly. Wrap with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least two hours. Roll pastry on a lightly floured surface to a thickness of 1/8″. Fit into a 10″ tart pan. Trim edges. Preheat oven to 375. Line crust with foil shiny side down that has been sprayed with Pam. Fill pie crust with pie weights or dried beans. Bake about 20 minutes. Remove the weights and foil and continue baking until crust is lightly browned about 10-12 minutes. If dough is too dry and does not form a ball well, add a little milk – one teaspoon at a time. The crust can be made the night before to make things easier on the big day.
Lemon Tart
2 c fresh lemon juice, about 12-14 lemons
1-1/2 c sugar
6 oz (1-1/2 sticks) butter at room temp
6 large eggs
6 large egg yolks
1/4 c lemon zest
To make the custard, combine the lemon juice and sugar in a heavy, medium-sized stainless steel saucepan. Bring to a boil over high heat; then simmer. Remove from heat. In a medium bowl, combine eggs, egg yolks and lemon zest. Whisk small amount of the hot syrup into the egg mixture. Return saucepan to medium heat. Constantly whisk the custard while cooking. Occasionally stir with a rubber spatula to ensure the custard is not sticking. Cook until thickened to coat the back of a spoon heavily. (If you run your finger across the spoon and the top layer stays put and does not run across the open space it is done.) Remove from heat and whisk in the butter tablespoon by tablespoon until silky smooth. Pour through a fine sieve into crust, fill to top. Refrigerate until firm, about 4 hours.
Fuck me, I’m gonna go make a real crust and dump the custard into that. I can’t live with this kinda failure.
UPDATE: This is what short cuts get you. I fixed it though. New crust.
