- I’m seven weeks post op tomorrow (tummy tuck and arm lift). Nothing really new to talk about on that front. Yes, I still have my cursed drains. I saw the doctor yesterday for a regular followup and he said they remove them at 8 weeks. The nurse replied with “not when they’re at 40!” and he didn’t reply. So he scheduled to see me in 2 weeks. That’ll be almost 9 weeks post op. I have faith that he’ll take them out at that appointment no matter what. I honestly think at this point, maybe the drains themselves are making the wound not heal up faster. They were on a steady decline to 35/40 until January started. They’ve not moved since (except one day number 2 shot up but it was just that once). So I’m scared they’ll have to drain fluid with a needle if they remove them, but I also haven’t been laid since NOVEMBER.
- At least he took off my 10lb lift limit. I can pick up things now! Rather than stare sadly at them and ask someone else to do it.
- Mr C’s birthday was yesterday! The big 40! I made him the lemon tart (recipe here) that he loves because he got chocolate mousse for Christmas. I made it all — the giant pain in the ass. I used M’s tip to mix the crust pastry in the food processor rather than by hand — GENIUS. I juiced all the lemons, I zested, I custard-ed. I clean up all the dishes and then went to put the beautiful tart in the fridge and saw one and a half sticks of butter on the counter. Fuck fuck fuck. I had to dump out all the custard, put it back over the heat and dissolve all the butter then pour it back in. It doesn’t seem to have suffered for it but damn. Close one. I was so pleased with myself before I saw that butter too.
Tag: recipes
The Tartest Lemon Tart That Ever Tarted.
Mr C’s birthday is tomorrow which means: CHOCOLATE MOUSSE! Wait no. Usually it means chocolate mousse. This year he wants Aunt Ks lemon tart. The tartiest tart of them all. The one that makes your face pucker just looking at it. I have no idea how he likes it so much. But OK. We tart.
I cheated this year and used a premade pie crust instead of making my own. Fail. The premade pie crust is so thin and doesn’t give the cookie kinda thick texture this baby needs. You gotta have something substantial with that tart. Jesus, how do yall eat this?
When I finished the custard last night it was delicious. So sweet and lemony. But after setting up in the fridge, holy moly. I served him a slice and had a bite. All of me puckered and an eye twitched. I can’t do it. Give me ghost pepper spices but good lord give me more sugar with my lemons. It sounds like there’s a ton of sugar in this recipe, but remember this is all pure lemon juice and zest. No water, no cream, just lemon. I got two thumbs up on the custard but two thumbs down on the crust. Contemplating making a new crust and scooping the custard into that. (Tart picture from previous cooking where I made the crust. It looks better too).
Here’s the recipe for those of you following along at home. This filled two regular pie crusts.
Lemon tart pastry shell
- 2 c flour
- 12 T butter, chilled 6 T sugar
- 1 large egg beaten
- pinch of salt (if using salted butter skip this)
In a medium sized bowl, combine the flour, sugar and salt. Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in butter until the mixture resembles fine meal. Add the egg and mix until just combined. Gather into a ball. Flatten slightly. Wrap with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least two hours. Roll pastry on a lightly floured surface to a thickness of 1/8″. Fit into a 10″ tart pan. Trim edges. Preheat oven to 375. Line crust with foil shiny side down that has been sprayed with Pam. Fill pie crust with pie weights or dried beans. Bake about 20 minutes. Remove the weights and foil and continue baking until crust is lightly browned about 10-12 minutes. If dough is too dry and does not form a ball well, add a little milk – one teaspoon at a time. The crust can be made the night before to make things easier on the big day.
Lemon Tart
- 2 c fresh lemon juice, about 12-14 lemons
- 1-1/2 c sugar
- 6 oz (1-1/2 sticks) butter at room temp
- 6 large eggs
- 6 large egg yolks
- 1/4 c lemon zest
To make the custard, combine the lemon juice and sugar in a heavy, medium-sized stainless steel saucepan. Bring to a boil over high heat; then simmer. Remove from heat. In a medium bowl, combine eggs, egg yolks and lemon zest. Whisk small amount of the hot syrup into the egg mixture. Return saucepan to medium heat. Constantly whisk the custard while cooking. Occasionally stir with a rubber spatula to ensure the custard is not sticking. Cook until thickened to coat the back of a spoon heavily. (If you run your finger across the spoon and the top layer stays put and does not run across the open space it is done.) Remove from heat and whisk in the butter tablespoon by tablespoon until silky smooth. Pour through a fine sieve into crust, fill to top. Refrigerate until firm, about 4 hours.
Fuck me, I’m gonna go make a real crust and dump the custard into that. I can’t live with this kinda failure.
UPDATE: This is what short cuts get you. I fixed it though. New crust.
