Middle-Aged Show ‘N Tell

When you find a nice thing and you have to show it to everyone because we stopped having show ‘n tell after kindergarten. Which, BTW, we need to bring back. You know how we have fucking bullshit Lunch ‘n Learn topics every Thursday? And fucking Wellness Wednesday lunches? Well I want a TEAMS call show ‘n tell! I wanna eat my lunch and watch my coworkers show me fancy things. Or their pets. Or their favorite new pen. Whatever they want. I’d tune into that every god damn week AND participate. So here is my latest Amazon review:

This review is for the PU Leather Tissue Box Holder with Magnetic Closure in Silver Grey.  Or as Amazon calls it, the “PU Leather Tissue Box Cover Square Tissue Box Holder with Magnetic Closure, Decorative Tissue Holder for Bathroom Bedroom Office (Silver Grey).” And let me tell you, the PU Leather Tissue Box Holder with Magnetic Closure in Silver Grey has absolutely no right to be this awesome.  It’s a tissue box, yall, not a jewelry box.  I’ve had jewelry boxes that weren’t nearly this nice. 

This box is so fantastic, that I’m skipping right over the fact that normal tissue boxes are ugly and obnoxious.  Do I need a rainforest print in my living room?  No.  Do you sell solid colors?  Also, no.  We’re skipping that. 

What is this box even made of?  I can’t bend it.  And it is actually rather weighty.  My cat can’t even knock this off the table – and he’s gonna try.  There’s a magnetic closure on the bottom (some tissue box covers don’t even HAVE bottoms) and when it closes, there is a very satisfying thunk sound.  And yall, it’s LINED.  Not just with paper – it’s lined with the velour type felt that jewelry boxes are lined with. 

I say again to you, good sir, why is this box so nice? 

I tried to take some close-up pictures to show you the craftsmanship.  Look at those straight lines and seams.  Look at that lining.  Look how perfectly square the lining is cut and applied to in the inside of the bottom of the tissue box cover that no one will ever see.  Look at the hole!  The PU leather isn’t just cut out at the hole, it’s finished and sewn.  Oh and whatever non-trivial material this thing is made of has been covered in another layer of matching PU leather very well folded over and then sealed with the way-too-nice liner.  I’m actually holding this in my hands flipping it around wondering how they got this perfect curve so nicely covered without a seam going down the hole – wait!  I picked it up again, after typing that, to examine this sorcery again – there is a seam, it’s just nearly invisible.  I only noticed it by feel.  Thank you, because I’m a crafter and I was confused by that impossibility.

The only downside it that the “silver grey” is metallic.  I’m putting this in my living room so I’d have preferred a matte finish.  However, if it weren’t so dang nice, I could just put it in the bathroom and it’d look great in there. 

I’m going to start showing guests the tissue box, aren’t I?  Being old is so weird. 

I see that they make a version of this that’s got a compartment for remotes.  I’m not gonna act like I don’t want that for my desk at work.  And another for my night stand. And one for the guest room. FIVE STARS.    

//END OF REVIEW

Yall. Blog reader yall, that is. Just to compare. I want you to see see the god awful piece of trash I reviewed last week:

I only gave it two or three stars but I really wanna go back and make it like 1 star now.