Some Things 5/2

1) It’s so hard to tell the difference between “I’m balding and I like naps” and hypothyroidism. Like yeah, OK, I guess you could describe me as “tired, lethargic, and losing hair.” I’m literally balding, and lazy though. So like, I don’t know. Give me more thyroid hormones. Sure, I’ll come back and let you test me again in a month. Why not?

2) Tomorrow, I have a skype interview for a configuration management (CM) position. It’s with the same company. They just really need a CM person and my software boss knows I have experience in both so she said I should apply and I could maybe do half and half. Well, as long as the pay is the same, I’m in! I’ve stayed the software route because it has higher earning potential long term. However, I’m happy with my currently salary. So if they can match it in CM, bring it on. I can do all the paperwork you bitches want. And I’m so unhappy with how uncertain I am with the job right now. I’m so out of my element. It’d be nice to have some easy wins.

3) In the past two weeks, I’ve seen my psychiatrist, my plastic surgeon, my primary care doctor, and my neurologist. Does it count that I had to go by Jack’s vet to get his meds today too? So much time shuffling!

4) My sister is mad at me. She wanted access to moms Facebook and it locked her out. She was accessing it through moms old phone that she never should have had access to as it belonged to me and I had specified it be given to my other sister who needed a new phone as that’s what mom would have wanted. Other sister never got the phone. Sister1 kept it and has been using it to access her Facebook and pictures and I’m sure her private messages too. So…

Facebook locked her out. So she tried to recover the password with moms email that she’s also been accessing. But gmail locked her out. So she contacted me. I’m the recovery email for all of moms accounts. Why? Because I would set shit up for her when she asked, not give her shit or half jail-broken hand-me-down-equipment, and not berate her when she forgot her passwords. (Hence the reason the phone was MY property. I bought the phone and I paid the phone bill.) Anyway, Sister1 contacts me because I’m the recovery email and she “needs” access to moms Facebook.

I wouldn’t give it to her. I say that like I’m confident about it. First, I asked Mr C- holy shit what do I do? I don’t want her to have access, she has no right. And it’s weird. And invasive. And mom died over a year ago. Then I asked K. Then I asked moms bestest best friend. All informed me that I didn’t have to give her that info. In fact, moms bestie informed me that she hoped Sister1 hadn’t read moms private messages where she often poured out her heart and frustrations about living with my sisters to her best friends in confidence.

Well… I’ll bet you a million dollars sister1 has read all of that. All the text messages. All the emails. All the Facebook messages. She’s seen my mom describe her in her worst light. And I can’t imagine the unbearable pain that must have brought her. It explains a lot though. She’s been absolutely obsessed with mom since she passed. Moms hobbies have become sister1’s obsessions. She can’t and won’t let mom go. So hearing me tell her I wouldn’t reset the accounts kinda pissed her off.

To ensure that I held to moms honor and let her accounts be silenced, I went as far as to disconnect my email from her recoveries. Her accounts are now lost to the ether. It was like saying goodbye again. Letting the flowers drift into the ocean. Google asked if I wanted to disconnect ME@gmail.com from MOM@gmail.com as this was permanent and could not be undone. Well… I cried and I clicked it. Bye momma.

Not that Sister1 would accept that I can no longer rest the accounts. She became furious and said that I should never have made my self the recovery account if I wasn’t willing to recover them. She said she needed important financial information because she’d be left to deal with all of moms accounts.

Well, what the fuck kind of financial information do you need off of Facebook? And mom died over a year ago. I told her I’d be happy to handle any of mothers personal affairs that they had not just been left to her. She could forward me any correspondence and I’d get a copy of her death certificate from brother and take care of it. No responses after that.

All of the family has been their usual radio silence. No answering the phone or text messages. Oh well.

I do feel terrible for Sister1. Realizing she probably read mom talking shit about her and how much she hated living with her. God, that’s heart breaking. But sister1 brought it on herself by invading moms privacy. And I feel terrible that sister1 has now kinda become sister2s custodian. I do feel bad about that. But again, she let sister2 move in. Sister 2 tried to get me and Mr C to take in her cats. We said fuck no. Sister1 is more codependent and took her in. And it was only supposed to be 2 months… over 2 years ago. I’m sorry sister1. I really am. but I still won’t help you violate moms privacy over and over again.

It’s a terrible situation.