Tag: some things

Revisiting a Review: “Bug Bite Thing”

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I’ve posted a review of the Big Bite Thing already. It left a hickey on my forehead. See this previous post for photos and initial review. The gist of it is: This is a professional hickey maker.

Here’s my update on that previous review with photo:

We’ve discussed mosquitoes love for the sweet sweet vintage of my blood. Well, last night, a mosquito in my house got me FOUR TIMES on the shoulder. When I saw the welts in the mirror, I decided to give this thing another try. It’s not my face this time. So I ran up to my husband and got him to use it on the four bites on my back.

I have attached the resulting picture. My husband was laughing uncontrollably. This thing is a professional grade hickey maker. That’s it. Now, maybe hickeys are the cure to mosquito bites and these people are the first ones to figure that out. I suppose this is a more sterile way to create a hickey so there is that. So you get 2 stars.

I’m gonna be honest. Those four bites DON’T itch anymore. My husband swore the itch would come back when they recovered from the trauma, but they’re still not itchy. I’m not going to say they’re fine because now they’re purple, but it is what it is.

I may sound silly, but it’s a scientific fact: “Sucking is sufficient to burst small superficial blood vessels under the skin.” What does this product do? “Suction Tool” is in the TITLE. We’re all idiots.

I’m not gonna lie though. As long as it’s covered by clothes, I’ll use this thing. With full acknowledgment of the hickey that will result. I pray I never have to explain why I have a cluster of perfectly round hickeys to a medical professional. Right now it’s looks like a giant chicken stood on my back. Chickens are descended from dinosaurs so I’m going with Raptor attack.

Cat Food. Also Mario.

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Louie

I’m trying to review a lot of the things I’ve purchased for Louie. Which, of course, is a lot of things. But I can’t review these odor eliminating products. Why? Because I just chunked everything available at the problem so there’s too many variables.

I have charcoal bags. Charcoal and baking soda litter freshener. Gel odor absorbers. A little soapish paw print that I tossed in the litterbox. Bath and Body Works Plug-In and candles. Cause Louie has some kind of digestive issues.

I mentioned his gas problem in a previous post (clicky). So I took him to the vet the day after I got him. They prescribed him prebiotics and they did a lot! His gas is a million times better. Our house had just smelled like cat diarrhea. Now we’re doing good. However, his poop smells beyond foul. Yall, it’s bad. Hence the barrage of odor solutions. It’s been two weeks so it’s not anxiety. So time to switch his food. I researched foods for pet food specific for this problem and was recommended Blue Buffalo: Grain-Free and Natural Balance: Limited Ingredients by Google. I asked the vet what they would recommend but they said they don’t recommend specific foods because different food work for different pets. Kinda sounded like bullshit, but whatever.

So Blue Buffalo is good ingredients, but don’t I need to figure out what he’s having issues with? So I chose Natural Balance: Limited Ingredients. We’re switching now. He hasn’t noticed because he’s a vacuum. I hope this gets rid of the smelly poop. I’ve got the house under control, but once you open that litter closet — DAMN.

Also, as to him being a vacuum. I feel bad. I free fed Jack and Tabitha so they always had food available. I tried that with Louie and he ate more than a days worth in like an hour. So Louie gets fed twice a day but he eats it immediately. So I feel bad for him. But I don’t want him to turn into a basketball either. No conclusion to the paragraph, I just feels bad, ya know?

Mario

Have you seen the new Mario movie? It’s fucking fantastic, if you have not. Well, if you like Mario it’s fantastic. It’s a kids movie so we’re not looking at Oscar material here. However, if you know the Mario games and appreciate them, it’s awesome. I was worried because I don’t like Donkey Kong and he’s obviously a big part of it — but Seth Rogen played him great. It was basically just Seth Rogen in a monkey suit and it was fine. Also, Bowser was Jack Black. And it was HILARIOUS. Jack Black is obsessed with Princess Peach and want to marry her. Jack Black sings about her. It’s perfect. I love Tenacious D, so I’ve had the “Peaches” song in my head for over a week. And that’s impressive considering the lyrics are mostly just “peaches peaches peaches peaches peaches.”

The absolute standout though — Lumalee. In Bowser’s prison, there is a demented Luma. We cut to Bowser’s prison throughout the film — the penguins are there (OMG, I have to have some kind of King Penguin merch). Luigi ends up there. And Lumalee is always there. And all Lumalee wants is the sweet release of death. Yall, demented Luma is so fucked up and amazing. I have no idea how they decided to put that in the movie — but my god, it made it wonderful. Lumalee is constantly dancing and singing and user his magic — but he’s dark as fuck. He calls Luigi “more meat for the grinder” when he arrives. And when he’s about to die in the climax, he lays down in his cage and says “finally.” Of course they’re rescued and all you see is Lumalee laying there saying “boooooooo.”

The move ends and it’s good — we’re all happy. Them Lumalee pops up to say that was a happy ending. Except now there is nothing left but the emptiness and the void. What the actual fuck? I’m sorry to the parents that had kids there who heard me say “what the fuck” every time Lumalee said something. I’d want Lumalee merch, but I feel the only way it would be good is if it had the lines from the film. Like maybe a stuffed Lumalee and when you squeeze it, it just says dark shit. 100% would buy.

Some Things 08/05

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OK, It’s been a bit, I should post. Really this week was just hard. I’ve just been getting through. I’m tired, I don’t wanna go to work. I’m just getting through. But today was super nice. It was my off Friday. I had an appointment (AKA complete waste of time) with the dermatologist about my hair. He asked if I had any side effects from the medications. I don’t. He said awesome, see you in six months. So glad I drove across town and paid $50 for that.

1) Speaking of long week, people be driving crazy after work. I was behind a car at a green light that didn’t realize it was green. Probably messing with their phone. Coincidence had us both traveling the same way for a while. We were side by side on a main road and they weren’t slowing down for a red light. Now, these red lights are super short so a lot of us don’t slow down until the last minute because it’s likely to change before you get to it. But like, this person was pushing it. And they just breezed right through it. I swear to god, I don’t even think they knew they ran a red light. There was no braking of repentance after they blew through it — they just kept off into the sunset. People be crazy.

2) Mr C and I watched Season One of Stranger Things. It’s so good! Why have I not watched it?

3) I’m watching The Sandman now. It came out today. I’m 4 episodes in and loving it. I fear this is going to be another “Witcher” where I got out and buy all the books because I can’t wait for more.

4) My arms hurt. I got injections in my arm scars because they’ve keloided. Well, they hurt now. It sucks. I’ve been used to them being healed and not hurting and now they hurt again. It blows. Will this stuff even work? Does it take multiple injections? They’re all dark and bruised too. Lame.

5) Speaking of surgeries, boobs are still doing great. When I wear tight shirts, the janitor at work (who used to be a pharmacist in New York) tells me how great I look. She told me this again on Thursday so I ordered some more tight shirts. The Lane Bryant “Fit and Flare” shirts just look fantastic on me. I just can’t replace my whole wardrobe. I have a lot of good clothes that are a size too big. It’s not that I don’t want to wear the tight shirts.

And it’s weird. I’ve gained a lot of weight. But I still look rocking compared to before the surgeries. I have to keep telling myself, yeah the scale sucks — but damn, I’m looking good.

6) K2 has been coming over pretty much every weekend to do pool with me. It’s fantastic. I don’t really do pool by myself because it’s lonely. Especially with mom gone. So K2 coming over most off days has been awesome. Sometimes she just falls asleep in an eggplant, but it’s still good company.

By the way, the egg plants are dying. They’ve been on the way out for a bit but I was hoping they’d make it the rest of the summer. Naw, they need air at least every day now. Multiple times today. So I ordered two new ones.

7) I took out a yellow jacket nest today. Fuck those bastards. They were making a nest in my pool gate! Thank GOD K2 didn’t get stung. I had to take them down with spider killer ’cause I was out of wasp spray. There were at least 12 yellow jackets on there. I probably sprayed myself with cancer trying to keep them away from me. Fucking wasps.

8) Oh yeah, and my Family was in Florida this week. They all got covid. Covid Condo. Bro got it from work (he’s a doctor) and then tested positive when he got down there and gave it to everyone else. Sucks, man.

Some Things 5/11

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1) Got my last surgical drain out! Hell yeah! It’s gonna be swimming time soon! I even got to try on all my bathing suits! Plus order a new top piece!

2) They picked up my rented lift recliner. Farewell, friend. He was a good recliner. Jack was sleeping in it when they came for it. We shall both miss it.

3) Filling out medical paperwork to see the dermatologist on Friday and there’s this drop down for marital status:

16 options? Really? I had to google what the fuck “Interlocutory” even is. It sounds like something that happens when the Borg assimilate you.

3) My pool still isn’t open and it’s still surrounded by huge weeds. HELP NEEDED.

Some Things 5/8

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1) How do people walk around using cracked phones? Friday I cracked the gorilla glass protector on my phone and it’s driving me insane. I ordered a new glass cover that will be here tomorrow but good lord it’s driving me crazy. How do yall put up with this shit? I’ve seen people using cracked phones for weeks. Fuck that, I’d be upgrading LOL

2) How do people with nipple piercings hide them? Since my breast lift, I’ve had a problem with pointy nipples. I sought help on the internet. How do you hide your pointy nipples? A lot of people use these silicone pasties, but I don’t want anything with adhesive since it gives me reactions sometimes. Someone suggested cotton balls – but like, really? I saw some makeup cotton pads in Ks guest bathroom and think I might try those. Turns out the only people who replied with nipple piercings just show them off loud and proud. Interesting.

3) I’ve been watching Sorted Food for the past few weeks/months. It’s a youtube food channel (linky). They’re doing a live viewing on the May 21st and K2’s gonna come over and we’re gonna make a day of watching them live record videos. Maybe with some pool intermissions.

4) For the love of God. I’m seeing the surgeon on Tuesday about removing my damn surgical drain. So great, right? Only today it has been draining DOUBLE. fuck you, drain! Are you kidding me? My pools gonna be open this week and I can’t even pretend to get in. And It’s not like I can just get in when the drains gone. The big hole has to heal up before I can get in. I’m going to a Memorial Day pool party with my family at my sister’s. She lets her dog swim in her pool. That shit has got to be healed solid before then! UGH. I’m honestly considering fudging the numbers.

5) Well, Mother’s Day. It hasn’t been so bad. I’ve tried to just ignore it. I sent my mother-in-law some live succulents earlier in the week so I took care of that. But I didn’t wish her a happy mother’s day today. Kinda on purpose. It just feels wrong. I wanna cancel this holiday forever.

I did plant some things in honor of mom. I put fresh sun ferns on the front porch. I planted the planter on the back stoop. It would look gorgeous if it wasn’t against the backdrop of 4 foot weeds sprouting through the pool rocks. I wonder if my boobs can handle a little weed eating? I’ll ask the doctor Tuesday.

Some Things 5/2

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1) It’s so hard to tell the difference between “I’m balding and I like naps” and hypothyroidism. Like yeah, OK, I guess you could describe me as “tired, lethargic, and losing hair.” I’m literally balding, and lazy though. So like, I don’t know. Give me more thyroid hormones. Sure, I’ll come back and let you test me again in a month. Why not?

2) Tomorrow, I have a skype interview for a configuration management (CM) position. It’s with the same company. They just really need a CM person and my software boss knows I have experience in both so she said I should apply and I could maybe do half and half. Well, as long as the pay is the same, I’m in! I’ve stayed the software route because it has higher earning potential long term. However, I’m happy with my currently salary. So if they can match it in CM, bring it on. I can do all the paperwork you bitches want. And I’m so unhappy with how uncertain I am with the job right now. I’m so out of my element. It’d be nice to have some easy wins.

3) In the past two weeks, I’ve seen my psychiatrist, my plastic surgeon, my primary care doctor, and my neurologist. Does it count that I had to go by Jack’s vet to get his meds today too? So much time shuffling!

4) My sister is mad at me. She wanted access to moms Facebook and it locked her out. She was accessing it through moms old phone that she never should have had access to as it belonged to me and I had specified it be given to my other sister who needed a new phone as that’s what mom would have wanted. Other sister never got the phone. Sister1 kept it and has been using it to access her Facebook and pictures and I’m sure her private messages too. So…

Facebook locked her out. So she tried to recover the password with moms email that she’s also been accessing. But gmail locked her out. So she contacted me. I’m the recovery email for all of moms accounts. Why? Because I would set shit up for her when she asked, not give her shit or half jail-broken hand-me-down-equipment, and not berate her when she forgot her passwords. (Hence the reason the phone was MY property. I bought the phone and I paid the phone bill.) Anyway, Sister1 contacts me because I’m the recovery email and she “needs” access to moms Facebook.

I wouldn’t give it to her. I say that like I’m confident about it. First, I asked Mr C- holy shit what do I do? I don’t want her to have access, she has no right. And it’s weird. And invasive. And mom died over a year ago. Then I asked K. Then I asked moms bestest best friend. All informed me that I didn’t have to give her that info. In fact, moms bestie informed me that she hoped Sister1 hadn’t read moms private messages where she often poured out her heart and frustrations about living with my sisters to her best friends in confidence.

Well… I’ll bet you a million dollars sister1 has read all of that. All the text messages. All the emails. All the Facebook messages. She’s seen my mom describe her in her worst light. And I can’t imagine the unbearable pain that must have brought her. It explains a lot though. She’s been absolutely obsessed with mom since she passed. Moms hobbies have become sister1’s obsessions. She can’t and won’t let mom go. So hearing me tell her I wouldn’t reset the accounts kinda pissed her off.

To ensure that I held to moms honor and let her accounts be silenced, I went as far as to disconnect my email from her recoveries. Her accounts are now lost to the ether. It was like saying goodbye again. Letting the flowers drift into the ocean. Google asked if I wanted to disconnect ME@gmail.com from MOM@gmail.com as this was permanent and could not be undone. Well… I cried and I clicked it. Bye momma.

Not that Sister1 would accept that I can no longer rest the accounts. She became furious and said that I should never have made my self the recovery account if I wasn’t willing to recover them. She said she needed important financial information because she’d be left to deal with all of moms accounts.

Well, what the fuck kind of financial information do you need off of Facebook? And mom died over a year ago. I told her I’d be happy to handle any of mothers personal affairs that they had not just been left to her. She could forward me any correspondence and I’d get a copy of her death certificate from brother and take care of it. No responses after that.

All of the family has been their usual radio silence. No answering the phone or text messages. Oh well.

I do feel terrible for Sister1. Realizing she probably read mom talking shit about her and how much she hated living with her. God, that’s heart breaking. But sister1 brought it on herself by invading moms privacy. And I feel terrible that sister1 has now kinda become sister2s custodian. I do feel bad about that. But again, she let sister2 move in. Sister 2 tried to get me and Mr C to take in her cats. We said fuck no. Sister1 is more codependent and took her in. And it was only supposed to be 2 months… over 2 years ago. I’m sorry sister1. I really am. but I still won’t help you violate moms privacy over and over again.

It’s a terrible situation.

Some Things 4/9

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1) Why is it never just standard size? I’m trying to replace a cover on our sprinkler system. Almost all of these covers all over the internet are 6 inch and 10 inch. So I ordered those. Nope. Mines somewhere between the two. The only 7 inch ones only come with the whole box, not just a lid option. Bastards! It’s never an easy fix is it?

2) Spring is in the air. We finally had our jungle of a lawn mowed. It looks ok now 🙂 The weeds don’t look like weeds if you mow them. Honestly, I wish we could just have a clover lawn. They make micro clover now that only grows 3 inches tall. Why spend all this effort on grass? I’d rather the clover. It’s not like we have an HOA. I’ll get Mr C on board one day.

3) I literally, JUST NOW, booked my tattoo appointment for November. Devon Greig Saturday November 5th. It’s a birthday present to myself! I’m so excited! I talked her into doing it piecemeal. She wanted to outline the whole sleeve at once. However, I’d like to do it in pieces. One, I want Jack first and as soon as possible. I also want completed pieces and not a partial tattoo for a few months between color sessions. And I think I’ll be able to tie more memories to it doing it in bits. Also, we can’t get to the scar cover ups for a whole 2 – 3 years. So the sleeve can’t be completed right now anyway.

4) Speaking of tattoos. I think the scars on my back are going to show in some bathing suits. So after my sleeve, I think I’ll want to cover my side scars in something. Thing is, I have no idea what. I don’t want a tattoo that goes all the way across my back. It’s just gonna “peek-a-boo” on each side where the scars in my bra line are. Good thing I have 2 years to contemplate this.

5) Ok, obviously I still have my tummy tuck revision drains. I’m sure I’ll have them the rest of the month. But man, the line has healed up great. I’m so so happy with the tummy tuck results. I love seeing my side view in the mirror without a huge stomach pudge. Not a belly — that pudge of skin I had that always stuck out further than my breasts. Now it’s gone! So happy with it.

6) Breasts are still healing. The massaging makes them sore. And I’ve got that popped stitch on my back which is a pain. Reaching for things tugs on your back skin — so where those incisions are is just a bitch. And the mismatch of the skin where the stitch popped — ugh it makes me shiver in disgust if I touch it. I hope it smooths out as it heals. But I’m not too worried. Even if it needs a revision, that’s something he can do in office with a little local anesthetic in the back and snip snip.

Still in the recliner. Might extend the rental another week. I can lay in the bed, but maneuvering around with my arms hurts because it engages my chest muscles. If I was only laying down and getting up once, that’s fine. But I’ve got to get up to pee a few times.

Plus my Jack likes me in the recliner. Will he start sleeping with me in the bed? I don’t know. But I love that he sleeps with me in the recliner.

7) Return to normal work schedules is Monday. I get to define what the will look like for me. I’m not sure what I want. I definitely don’t want to go in early. I like how my office mate works — he only goes in in the afternoons. But I’d also like to stay home some days. I think I’ll start with Monday thru Thursday in office afternoons and mornings and Fridays from home. See how that works out.

Some Things 3/29

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1) So today marks two weeks since my breast lift, augmentation, and tummy tuck revision. Tummy tuck, 100% fine. Breasts are extremely tender and achy. Especially if I let myself get cold (which I prefer to do because I’m hot natured). If I get cold, it’s game over – the boobs doth protest. Also I still get a sharp pain on the right with a deep breath. Because he sewed them to my ribs. Can’t wait for that stitch to dissolve! Did not expect to still be in any kind of pain at this point. I thought the boob jobs were easy peasy!

2) I go back to work in 1.5 days. I’m dreading it with all my being. I suck at my job — or at least I feel like I do. I don’t derive any happiness from it. I just feel inadequate.

3) I tried to call my sisters and sis-in-law this morning. As usual, no one answered. They won’t return the calls either. It’s so lame. My brother would answer but he’s so busy and might be at work. I just wanna keep in touch with my family. Also, I just had surgery — you don’t wanna know how I’m doing? I call LAME. Lame flag on the field.

Some Things 3/4

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1) New highlight moment:

Backstory – I always preorder my deli meat so i don’t have to wait in line to get it cut. Also, I’m wearing capris to show off my sweet goomba tattoo.

*I Grab my ham from deli fridge*

Deli guy: “Are you picking up for Roberta?”

“No,” *indicates ham* “I got mine.”

Deli guy: *100% talking to my goomba (its obvious, its my ankle, approximately 5 feet below my eyes):* “You’re [Mrs C]?”

“Yes. Thank you”

Deli Guy: *Still starring down my goomba* Cool

Goomba basically got cat-called, yall! Mr C better watch out. Soon all the young nerds will be torn on whether to look at my new boobs or my sweet 8-bit tattoo.

Also, Roberta is a terrible name. Surely, Roberta would not sport such a cool gem as this.

EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION: He called me by my name, not “Mrs C.” No, he did not recognize me from my blog. No one reads this shit, especially not the guy from the deli down the street. He probably sees my name on online orders all the time from my deli meat and picking up subs for Mr. C so was just associating a face (actually a goomba) with a name.

2) I live in a swamp. People might not know it’s a swamp because it’s highly developed with nice housing, but dude, you live in a swamp. So the wet areas are really wet. This leads to swarms of frogs. Frogs singing in such loud masses that it sounds like a summer song. I’ve only ever heard this in Florida — Specifically, from the roof of the condominium we have stayed at every year since I was conscious of time. The frogs in the undeveloped lot across the street that was there when I was little. So hearing them now makes me a little nostalgic for my mom. Us going up to the 16th floor to look at the ocean and the lights and hearing the song of the frogs. It’s bittersweet.

3) My second surgery is in less than TWO WEEKS!

4) I recently found myself with a few hours shooting the breeze with a lawyer. Vaccines came up, of course. You go through the “do you want me to wear a mask, I’m vaccinated, but if it’ll make you more comfortable” — usually because I’m wearing a mask. They’re required at work and I wear them to the store and stuff. So we were discussing how hard it was to get the vaccine when it first came out and we were both in the “give me that shit” category. Now of course a lot of people are antivax. Those people suck. Good thing you weren’t around when we needed to eradicate polio.

Tangent, sorry.

So he was curious how my fellow engineers reacted to being required to have the vaccine. (We work government contracts in this city, so it was a requirement until some court shit postponed it). I told him everyone I knew was all for it! We’re engineers. We think logically, not emotionally (“which is why you don’t like us on your jurys”). We work with SMEs all the time. Subject Matter Experts. We are well aware and taught that some people know way more about this thing that you can ever hope to know. A lot of us become SMEs in our career. We wrote the damn program and were on it from its conception. You’re the SME. Just like my lawyer is my law SME. I don’t know shit about the law, so I pay him. So when the engineers were told by a shit ton of medical SMEs that we better get the vaccine — we didn’t worry and hem and haw. They know more than I ever could about it. The people I immediately work with felt the same. We were gunning to get that shit in our arms LOL

Be smart. Listen to the SME. Doesn’t make you a sheep. A sheep can’t tell who the SME is. I’ll give you a hint, the SME didn’t get their degree from youtube.

5) This shit is fucking delicious:

Ascent Recovery Water. I was in Sprouts looking for something low carb to drink as I was thirsty. Grabbed this watermelon water. Holy shit. It’s fucking delicious. Tons of flavor! And after I drank it I was looking over the bottle — 20 grams of protein! What? It has whey in it. But it was crystal clear pink water. Is this sorcery? Why is sorcery always so expensive!? If this was affordable, I’d drink them daily for sure!

Some Things 2/19

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1) Chicken bologna has 4 carbs per slice. Beef bologna has less than 1 carb per slice. What the fuck are they putting in that chicken bologna?

2) Jack had his vet visit for vaccinations and kidney check up on Friday. They took him back to get blood and returned with one tech holding him and another scrunching his neck while he growled like a feral. “I’ll take that. Sorry.” LOL Then they found a heart murmur. Booo. So they wanted to get a blood pressure. The vet wanted them to take him back and the poor tech was like, can we do it in here? He’s calm with his mother. Again, sorry yall. So I held him while they did everything else. His blood pressure was fine. His kidney levels are, as expected, still stage 3 failure but have improved by like .01. And he hasn’t lost any weight. So good on that front!

Unfortunately she said cats don’t usually show signs of heart trouble. And the sign of a heart murmur is usually just finding them suddenly dead. Well, can’t fault them for holding back. So thats nice. Now he has kidney failure and a heart problem. Nothing to be done for the heart problem since his blood pressure was fine. Oh and they are transitioning him from the kidney pills to a power you mix in his food. Nice! He still has the liquid to take, but now we dont have to wrestle with pills twice a day. Which will be great when I’m recovering from surgery…

3) I had my pre-op on Friday! Breasts are paid for and scheduled for march 15th. I’m having the side and back fat removed and a lift with implants. They’re also gonna do a revision to my tummy tuck to get more skin now that my swelling has gone down so much. Yay! I’m more excited since I got to REALLY sit down and talk about size with the nurse. They’re gonna order multiple implants (high profile, smooth silicone gummy implants). I’m asking to be around a DD but not bigger as I don’t want shopping for bras to be difficult. She assured me they’ll try different sizes and the whole team of nurses and the professional plastic surgeon will all weigh in on what looks best. So I feel more relaxed about it.

She also gave me one of their bras (you have to buy your own but they had a few) to show me what to get. I thought my current zip fronts were fine but they’re not because they’re flattering and push your boobs together. Apparently we don’t want that. We want the implants exactly where the doctor put them. So the bra she gave me has absolutely no support. Why ever wear it? So I ordered two more of them so I’ll have 3 total.

I’m gonna have drain(s?) again. UGH.

4) Jack wasn’t the only one getting vaccinations Friday. I got my Covid booster shot. Woot!