Lord, I Forgot About the Frogs in the Watering Can!

This weekend , I repotted and generally took care of my over-wintered plants. Two Red Banana Trees, eight White Rio Mandevillas, and a giant sun fern. They lived in my master bedroom all winter with a sunlamp. I’ve been wanting to get them out because the Mandevillas are starting to smell very sweet. They’re waking up. So this weekend everyone went outside in big pots with fresh dirt.

So today, Monday, I go water them on my lunch break. Another advantage to working from home! So I grab my water can from the front porch (oh sorry, STANLEY’S STOOP). I water the plants there and go inside to get more water from the kitchen on my way to the back deck. I set my watering can in the sink and start filling.

FROG.

Now, y’all, my house gets a lot of frogs. My pool has the bubblers that sound like a running river. We live next to apartments with little retention ponds with fountains. We got frogs. These guys:

In the summer they cling to our windows to catch bugs attracted to the lights. During the day they sleep in my pool umbrellas and hide under the pillows. (Always check the pillows and umbrellas before sitting and opening because you will be attacked otherwise.)

So. These things scare me. I can’t explain it because I know they absolutely will not hurt me. But my god they are so quick and jumpy and they will JUMP ON YOUR FACE. Yes, it HAS HAPPENED TO ME. So, if I’m looking for them, I’m cool. Like I might have a jump scare if one moves when I find it, but it’s fine. If I’m not expecting to see one, my god, I will scream. Not like a long scream but an extremely loud full on scream.

Like when husband comes to bed with out loudly stating his presence when I’m “sleeping”. That kinda scream. Like the instinct of “I’m about to die” with the quick realization of “I’m ok”.

And in the summer, these motherfuckers love my umbrellas and my watering cans. Big two gallons of shade. Fuck yeah. Personal frog grotto, bitches. I get it. But I forgot. And you can’t see them in there because there’s only a small filling hole. Like this. Great watering can. Totally recommend.

So when I turn on the water, Big Bertha comes up to the fill hole. I scream. Husband is in work meeting. He usually handles the frogs. It’s ok, it’s in the can still… I get solo cup. I got this.

I get solo cup and quickly pounce over the hole while the waters still running. Got you, bitch! Then I scream bloody murder because there was a baby Bertha in there too and now it’s on my window sill!

So I get the solo cup covered can outside and set it down. Will worry about Big Bertha later. Gotta catch baby. There was much screaming. I get baby Bertha in the cup and run outside to release it. It jumps out of the cup and I scream. Cause that’s what I do. And THEN I have to call out “IM FINE! JUST A FROG!” Cause all the neighbors can here me.

Oy. I forgot about those fuckers in my watering cans. Last year Louie had a field day when I brought the watering can inside so frogs wouldn’t get in it… Not knowing there was a frog in it.

Anyway, I watered the plants with the solo cup over the hole so. Big Bertha wouldn’t attack me and then dumped her out. Now the can is INSIDE.

Why don’t these things come with a lid or a plug? I usually just have to water my deck plants with one hanging out on the can like this the whole time:

Yeah, that motherfucker sat there while I watered every single plant.

Life Hack

Also, I know I’m 41 and the daughter of a gardener extraordinair. I’m also lazy as fuck. So I’ve never over wintered my plants before. Holy shit, FREE PLANTS! I’ve got, like, $200+ worth of plants out there!

The Red Banana Trees with Mandevillas are back on the front porch. They thrived last year. This year, I removed one of the 4 Mandevillas from each pot. I also put them in much bigger pots and made a taller trellis on the side against the columns for the vines to grow up. Last year it was a hot mess and I kept wadding them up in a tomatoe-cage-like structure around the Banana Tree and they were barely contained and the Banana Tree suffered from lack of light.

The small sun fern I bought last year is HUMONGOUS. I knew I’d have to divide it, but I ended up dividing it into three! Three sun ferns the same size as this one was when I bought it.

Also, have you ever devided a fern? For fucks sake, I did not expect that difficulty. I tried to just dive in with a trowel. Nope. So I grabbed my machete. Nope. So I used the saw blade side of the machete. Nope. I ended up sawing the rootball easily enough, but damn, getting through the matted top layer was like WTF? I’ve trimmed hedges easier than that.

They’re fine. Still plenty of roots and green stems for each third. And little bulb things… Are those fern bulbs? Do ferns make bulbs?

I also have the two Mandevillas I thinned out in another pot. I’m going to let them grow over the back stair railing. See: FREE PLANTS.

If my lemongrass works out, I probably won’t buy anymore plants this year.

Overwintering sucks though. I have a cat. Plants a big and heavy. The garage is freezing. So this winter, I have a plan! I’m going to buy a popup green house (basically a popup tent) and put it where my gardening table is. Plenty of room. Stick some grow lights in there and buy a little greenhouse heater. Should only cost $200 all together and it already saved me that much this year!

Probably gonna start a compost heap for dirt too. I got an acre so I can put it way back in the corner of the property.

I watched a lemongrass tutorial and I think I found why the seeds are so hard to get. No one grows it from seed. They pull up the main stalk with barely any roots, trim it down to a few inches, strip off the outer layers, wash off the dirt, and stick them in cold water to over winter. Change the water out once a week and come spring, stick ’em back in the ground. So I’ll be doing that this year if I’m successful.

They also taught me how to weave little grass bundles for cooking and tea. So if anyone wants those, I should have a ton come fall!