Tag: gardening

Plant Updates

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The Great Monstera

The Great Monstera Experiment continues. The last update was in September. It seems to have doubled in height since then. I’ve extended the poles twice now.

The plastic D poles are definitely a winner. I can see they are FULL of roots. And I’ve been able to expand them in height. I’m three tall now (2 feet each) and they are stable as all hell. I figured I’d need a plank of wood or something by now, but they’re solid. I put this down to me using two side by side that are attached together with zip ties. They’re giving each other stability.

Now that there is so much moss, they need to be watered every 3ish days. I do this with some plastic bottles (Powerade Zero to be specific). I drilled insanely tiny holes in the lids. So I fill those up (sometimes with some liquid food) and drop them in the pole and the water is absorbed by the moss super slowly. I did finally think to tie some fishing string to the bottle necks to make them super easy to pull back out. I tied ribbon on the end of the fishing string so it doesn’t get lost. Big brain. No way would i be able to keep up with the water in a traditional pole. I’ve noticed if I let the moss get too dry, it takes way longer to soak up new water. So we’re learning together.

The new leaves on the fastest growing vine are enormous. Also, I have been raising up the Soltec light, but it did burn one of the leaves that got too close. So there’s that. I’ve also added those round grow lights in the pole so that the leaves face out a bit and not all directly facing the ceiling. This has also let them grow out a bit and not be in such a hurry to go UP. The lights are anchored in the moss and then I have a string tied to the light head that then ties back to the pole to hold them up.

String of Bananas

The last String of Bananas update was in January. Holy shit has it been growing. Just now pulling that link and seeing how much it grew in 2 months – damn.

She was getting a little too close to the floor so I just gave her a hair cut tonight. Chop and prop. I took all the cuttings and rooted them back into the pot again. It’s like when your bestie gets a hair cut.

YAS QUEEN. Rock it.

It’s funny how this has gone from a plant I hated to wanting to show off. I can’t believe it used to be in a 2 inch pot.

Lemon Lime Prayer Plant

Welp, now that there’s dirt under my nails — time to pot up the prayer plant propagations. They all took like a champ! And looking back for those links, I see they’ve been rooting for a month. Most of these had more leaves but rooted at multiple nodes. So I cut the rooted nodes apart. Look at those roots!

*3 or 4 hours later* OK! Potted up my prayer plants. So the “mother” plant was three vines I bought a long while ago for maybe $20-$25 at Cat Bird Seat. It really took off. But it grew way too long. So I decided to hack it up. A big part of this was also that over winter, most of the leaves got brown tips. I don’t know what happened, but it did.

I’ve heard of people who chop and prop and ditch the old plant. I’ve always thought that was insane! Now I see why. So I separated out the tiny vine that is just now recovering from giving some props to K. It didn’t have the brown tips because it’s such new growth. I repotted the mother plants two vines and I might just give it away. Not the pot, the plant. It’s good roots. Just had brown tips.

I got 9 propagations plus the baby vine. So here’s momma (in red) and her babies (5 in each pot):

Nook Update: Plants Plus A Craft

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Nook Update

This is an update on my bedroom nook which just continues to get better and better. Our bedroom is huge so there’s plenty of room for a space like this. So I’m glad we created it. The living room has always kinda been my spot since husband hangs out in his office all the time. So before I had my office, we made the nook when my inlaws were coming for a visit and I was stressed about not having a private space.

We had bought new couches in 2019 so our old mismatched couches were in the garage. This one is actually my first piece of “real” furniture. Not that I’ve bought much real furniture still. It’s an Ashley couch I bought for my old apartment. When I got rid of the monkey couch and finally got something I liked! It’s like 15 years old so not the best shape, but still comfortable. And It sacrificed its back cushions to be pillows for the downstairs couches, but that just means that now it has actual bed pillows. Mom and I picked up the two (now one because the other is in my office) foot stools on clearance from Ollies, I think.

When the floor was being redone downstairs after The Washing Machine incident, I moved the guest room TV in here “temporarily.” I hate TVs in bedrooms and I just can’t sleep with one on. So I’m generally against them. However, this TV is in the nook and you can’t even watch it from the bed. So I have made an exception. This is because I hung the closet rod my husband very much dislikes for hanging plants. And now that those plants are taking off, I really enjoy sitting in my nook. On work nights, I retire to my nook to watch very chill relaxing TV before bed. (Right now it’s The Repair Shop, and I’m going to die when I run out of episodes so they are exclusively for nook watching).

Look how cozy and nice my nook is!

Getting Crafty for a TV Tray

So that brings me to my latest craft project. I like to have a drink AT ALL TIMES. So I take my water up there. I have my legs out on the couch so I would like to use the foot stool to set my drink on. However, the footstool is padded and my drink falls over. So I grabbed the nearest small flat thing and have been using it as a tiny drink tray. My “Stand By Me” frame/word-art/thing. I bought a fuck ton of these musical word-art things from Hobby Lobby on clearance for less than a dollar each ages ago. Before Covid. The before-times. I’ve done stained glass mosaics on five (including the Mario Kart items in the bathroom). I’ve still got a few in the garage. I chose to keep one of the “Stand By Me” ones because I love that some. Specifically, the Ben E King version. Great song.

So it worked great, but looked like shit and I was abusing my Stand By Me art that was in my nook cause I like it. Well, I finally got around to redoing one of the others. Meet my new drink tray:

Isn’t it adorable? I think this one said “Rock and Roll.” I painted it gloss black but the inside and “front” (now bottom) needed covering due to damage to the paper. So I modpodged some contact paper in there. Then, I thought, I could add handles! But the only handles I had were oil rubbed bronze so that didn’t work. However, remember when I did the downstairs hall and added handles and knobs? And then I had extra knobs so I replaced the cheap silver knobs on the bathroom vanity with oil rubbed bronze ones to match everything else? Well, look where those silver knobs are now!

My drink, remote, and snack tray is so cute!

String of Bananas Update

One of my nook plants is my String of Bananas (Curio Radicans). I’ve mentioned it before. It was a little 2-inch guy that I bought for the dining room tables terrarium. It outgrew that so I stuck it in a hanging pot (picture 1). Then it outgrew that pot so I had to put it in a bigger one. I had to untangle it (picture 2) and I trimmed it into 2-foot sections for rooting back into the pot (picture 3). That’s where I left off last.

Well, the plant was healthy as fuck and well over 90% of the cuttings took and started growing like crazy. But these “Sting-Of” plants look so “limp.” I want to say lifeless because they just hang there like they’re dying. Of course they are not. Its thriving. There’s just no volume. I have no desire to plant a second plant in the pot though. So I had been thinking of ways to beef up the top. A Styrofoam ball? A plant frog? I even asked at the plant nursery for suggestions. I looked into metal topiary forms but those are expensive. Then I saw the really ugly ass cheap Chinese plastic topiary balls that are far from expensive. In fact, I could get a mixed set of 4 sizes for under 10 bucks from Walmart. Hello Walmart+ membership. Yes, please.

So I used half a “ball.” I just plopped it right on top of the string of bananas and brought up the “strings” and gave them a few wraps to hide the ugly ass form and draped them back down (picture 4). This pleased me greatly. Today it’s looking like picture 5. I actually like this thing now. I hated it for so long. I fixed it!

When it gets too long, I’ll trim it again and reroot the cutting back at the top. Rinse and repeat. I mean, I don’t want to jinx it, but I don’t think I can kill this thing. It just really wants to live. After all the cutting and rerooting it’s so much thicker than that rat tail in picture 2, Now it’s got a bit of volume thanks to the topiary ball. There’s even new shoots growing out of the ball and it’s curling all around the bottom with new growth.

Look at my Air Plant

I got this air plant at the craft show (Christmas 2024 NEACA) and I have been kicking myself for not buying more since that evening. He had an ungodly amount of air plants. Like that’s this guys specialty. Loose ones mainly but also terrariums and various hanging ones like this. Also some cool art pieces that were on lava rock or drift wood. And they were CHEAP. He had a huge bush one that was like 15 years old for $75 — he pointed out that if he cut off all the pups and sold them at $5 a piece, it would net him a much bigger profit. And he had crazy exotic ones I’ve never seen before.

The hanging ones were all the standard air plant you see everywhere. So I looked through his collection (all with their scientific names and pictures of them in full bloom). I asked if he could put one of these on a hanging loop. He said for an extra $2. So yeah, I got this cool plant for $7! That boutique plant store on Governors charges like $25 for just the big pups! He told me all about caring for it and tips and tricks and sends everyone home with a sheet detailing how to water and fertilize them and get them to bloom.

I can’t believe I only bought one! Dammit. He had at least 20 varieties and some were even in bloom. I chose the crazy wobbly alien one, of course.

The Last Week in Pictures

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OK, so it’s the last 10 days in pictures, technically. I’m behind in life. But look, I did finally get rid of my pumpkins before Christmas Day! I had been putting it off because I didn’t want to put them in the compost with all their seeds intact and that meant slimy labor. Then I gave up and said fuck it, I’ll just toss them out.

So I grab my garden wagon to start tossing. When I pick this one up, it’s hollowed out! A kind squirrel took care of all the seeds for me! I had noticed a few tiny spots that I thought were mold. Turns out they were holes where our little friend was scraping the surface. How funny! Why would he eat it from the bottom like this? I had a few in the patch where they just ate the outer bits. So this big guy and three small hollowed out ones were saved for the compost. Thank you, animal friends.

Also, this week. I opened a new pan. After over twelve years of storing it. That’s right. I was gifted two of these for my wedding. Was I going to send one back? Fuck no. I knew this day would come. When I would want a NEW pan. And it is GLORIOUS. Aint nothing gonna stick to this. It’s so clean and grey and pretty. I love pan.

It was a super slow week at work with the holiday coming up. Engineers just take December off. So those of us left in office are kinda stuck. One lunch break, I labeled my art supplies! It sounds silly but it is not. My art supplies are organized in my dining room buffet. Things are all stored together in these reused monthly subscription boxes. Like these boxes were too good to trash, so I kept them. Then I started storing art supplies in them. Then they all ended up in the buffet but I always forget which is which.

Well, I did some resin art which means I needed a new box: “Resin.” So I shifted a few boxes around for size efficiency. While I was at it, I used LABELS. I wrote down what was in them. Look how organized I am! Louie totally helped.

Finally, today, I turned my compost. I’m so glad I went with the three bin system. I bought a corkscrew aerator and it works fine — but you can’t really stir with it. And the outer bits get dry and need to be cycled into the center. It’s so much quicker and easier to flip everything into the neighbor bin with a hay fork. Glad I did my research! The last bin currently holds dry leaves since I don’t need three yet.

Theoretically, I would have emptied out all of my pots into that bin for dirt storage already. I’m behind, OK?

I think when I stated my compost I used far too many “browns.” We’ve also had so little rain that it hasn’t stayed wet. And, hay sucks. It was pretty much hydrophobic for weeks. I’m not putting anymore hay in there. It’s the only thing not breaking down. I put a whole bag of cardboard in here and there isn’t a trace of it. Still every bit of hay in there.

At this point, I just used my aerator to mix things around. Then, dig out a hole in the middle. Then I dump my new compost in and cover it up. But I’ve flipped it a few times. This time there was a huge earthworm in there so that’s a great sign.

Oh and that’s Ted. He guards the compost bins.

Random Updates in My Life

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Crafts and more crafts… And cards… And decorating…

So, I’ve got a lot going on.  Two different craft projects.  Plus Christmas decorating.  Plus Christmas cards (expensive and so much work.  Why do I do these?  Like I can’t break the streak.  That’s why).  And tomorrow I gotta pick up the Thanksgiving ham.  So my counter is full.

Speaking of crafts, you know it’s the good shit when there’s a skull and crossbones warning on it. 

Actually, that wasn’t the good shit.  It fucked me over.  It’s supposed to go over the top of EVERYTHING.  Including a few layers of sealant.  I wish it had specified that.  The second I put it on, my enamel paint just dissolved.  I found out about the sealant thing when I googled “what the fucking fuck.”

These paw print ornaments are killing me.  But I won’t give in.  As I told you, the top coat I previously used was old or something and left yellowish bubbles and streaks.  Maybe THIS SHIT could have saved it.  So I got mineral spirits to try to get it off.  After so much elbow grease, I had barely anything off.  So we brute-force it: repaint.  Now keep in mind, everything I do to these takes two days.  One day for front to dry, then another for back.  And then actually another for the writing on the back in the paint step. 

So I repainted.  They look amazing.  Time for top coat!  FUCK ME it disolved the paint.  So repaint the ones I tried and fucked up. 

I’m going with something I know this time, bitches.  Modpodge.  Super gloss Modpodge.  Got the back done and second coat on the front now.  It says you can do a second coat after an hour (I waited a day) but it takes FOUR MOTHER FUCKING WEEKS TO CURE?! Sweet baby Jesus, are you kidding me? 

For mine, that’s fine.  They’re dry to the touch so I can hang them.  But I gotta mail my brother-in-law his!  What if the packaging leaves dents?  Or sticks to it for some reason?  FUCK. 

And I thought Pottery Barn was smoking crack. 

As seen here in my text messages, Pottery Barn prices are insane. 

Is that a hilarious National Lampoons Christmas Vacation pillow? Fuck yes it is!  Do I want it?  Oh hell yes.  Is it $70? Also yes.  Who are you catering to, Pottery Barn?  Who?

Well, this weekend, I needed craft supplies (enamel paint in red).  It’s cheapest at Hobby Lobby.  I know that is insane, but it’s true. $7.99 online or $2.39 at Hobby Lobby.  It was also half off Christmas and I needed lights for our tree. 

Y’all, I’ve never seen Hobby Lobby so chaotic and full.  FULL.  The giant ass parking lot was full.  You could barely move in there.  The longest string of lights they had was 100 count, so fuck it, I got a ton of those. 

I saw these cute blowmold Christmas Trees at the front.  Would possibly be cute to have.  And half off!  I had to find one with a price tag though.  Holy Mary mother of god! FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS EACH. 

Who are y’all marketing to?  Who?  A fucking blowmold?  Seriously?  What the fuck is happening? Tariffs haven’t kicked in yet, y’all!

Plants!

My plants are doing well.  Look at my Thanksgiving Cactus of Friendship blooming right on time! I love how the red turns to magenta on the tips of the petals!  Stunning.  Today the second layer opened up!

Also, husband helped me put up the main Christmas tree because my anxiety was killing me.  So I had to move plants around.  Plus the end table.  And I’m over wintering some things (I haven’t even brought in the lemongrass from the garage yet).  So Louie is now… JUNGLE CAT. 

Aging without any grace whatsoever

How’s menopause (perimenopause)? I’m glad you asked.  Terrible.  I’m not having nightly panic attacks anymore.  I need to remind myself they were nightly.  But I do still have them around once a week. Also, I’m moody and I’m hot.  

We went to the Venardos Circus for my birthday.  It was going to be 50s and down into 40s when it let out (fahrenheit).  So maybe long sleeves? I wore a thin long sleeve hoodie.  Big mistake.  The second I got in Ks heated car I was like, I have made a terrible decision.  Even inside the tent.  I switched seats with husband because K2s commentary is honest to god, half the joy of the circus.  But when I switched and realized the seat beside him was open, it was heaven!  I wasn’t between two hot people!

Where can I get Christmas tank tops? Not joking.  Want. 

Also, I’ve reached the age of “I have to pee.”. Like, I used to be able to hold my bladder for hours.  Gotta pee?  It’s fine, I’ll go when I get home.  No more.  Now my body gives me like one “I gotta pee.” Then, if I ignore it, all the following “I have to pee” signals will be accompanied by a small bit of pee.  Too much information?  WELL ITS MY LIFE.  So at the circus, my brain was like “I gotta pee.” I’m not allowed to ignore it anymore so I had to use a freaking porta potty!  The shame!

I thought Gods punishment to Eve eating the apple of knowledge was painful child birth.  The Bible don’t say shit about menopause.  Of course neither did anyone else in my life. 

Fuck getting old.  I’m supposed to be happy and child free with money.  Not peeing a little, moody, sweating all night and waking up to panic attacks. 

THAT’S FUCKING BULLSHIT, RONNIE!

Fall Stairs

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So, I had all my pumpkins around the house.  Some had spider mites and I was trying to be okay with it but they were multiplying and I was afraid they’d get in my plants.  So I finally decided to ditch the pumpkins. 

Well, that’s an ordeal cause I need to scrape the seeds out before I throw in the compost.  I have a lot of cardboard, but I need to break it down to counter that much pumpkin.  So I started putting them on the back stoop.  Figured I’d scrape them out there later this weekend. 

I felt bad though because they’re so FALL.  And it’s still Fall. 

Then it occurred to me that I’m stupid and they’d look gorgeous on the front steps.  Who cares about mites out there? Look at the pretty!

The Great Inaugural Pumpkin Patch of 2024 Final Results

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So my first time ever growing pumpkins. My first pumpkin patch. How did it go?

Pumpkin Patch Overall Yields

I’ve picked the last pumpkins in the patch. The water is off. So here is the Great Inaugural Pumpkin Patch of 2024 yields.

* 4 Rouge Vif D’ Etampes (One died on the vine during the Great Pumpkin Massacre)
* 5 Musquee De Provence (One died on the vine during the Great Pumpkin Massacre)
* 1 Jack O Lantern (he had a similar stunted friend who rotted on the counter)
* 1 Connecticut Field
* 18 Jack Be Little
* 14 Chinese Miniature White

The picture below shows the pumpkins lined up in the above order and from oldest to newest.

Each large vine was singular in a 20 gallon grow bag. The two miniature vines shared a 20 gallon grown bag. Each individual vine had water that went off every 6 hours into a gallon jug that slowly trickled into the bag.

After the Great Pumpkin Massacre, when they were deprived of water for 4 days in mid summer, the two french varieties survived by sacrificing a pumpkin each. They shriveled up so the vine could consume the water. The Chinese Whites did not shrivel, but simply stopped growing. After this, the Jack O Lantern and Connecticut Filed never put out any more females.

Pumpkin Variety: Rouge Vif D’ Etampes

These came from Bakers Creek Seeds. The description warned that they were very unwieldy and I think that made for their survival and bigger yield. They also had HUGE leaves. It was the first and last to put out pumpkins.

Turns out my first pumpkin was my largest and favorite of the season. It was this one (photoed next to my smallest pumpkin):

Part of the way through the season, I started righting the pumpkins as they grew. I think these actually look a lot more fun left to grow in whatever shape they like. Pretty sure these will be the only one I plant again next year (aside from the littles).

Pumpkin Variety: Musquee De Provence

These were the prettiest vines but I won’t be planting them next year. The vines had a gorgeous white veining in the leaves unlike any of the others. And the pumpkins are the most traditional pumpkin shape. The pumpkins grew dark green and looked like a nice watercolor.

If they stayed dark green, I’d like them a lot better. I thought they would turn grey (and some varieties do), but mine turned into a peachy light orange. I’m not a huge fan of the final color. You can see the maturing difference in the first pictures I posted with the whole yields. They’re dark green when you pick them and then they turn peach.

I won’t plant these next year because I didn’t like how pointy the vines were. I went out every day to make sure the flowers got pollinated and walking through the patch in shorts, I got scratched by these a lot. Picking them was also a pain for that reason.

Of note: This one survived the Great Pumpkin Massacre (Drought) by shriveling up and draining a pumpkin:

Pumpkin Variety: Jack O Lantern

This was the biggest let down. Note that these seeds did not come from Bakers Creek, so the quality of the seeds might be part of the problem. They took the longest to mature, so they got a month long head start over the others. I think this head start lead to their detriment when the pests hit. So all of the advance start was wasted to pests.

I’m guessing it was the pests, but this vine only put out 2 pumpkins. They also came out when we had over a week of rain which led to one getting a bit rotten on the bottom. That’s when I learned to put the pumpkins on racks off the ground. I let it keep growing anyway though. I left them on the vine until they ripened because I expected them to get large and they were not at all large. Here they are:

Yeah, talk about disappointing. Also, the only way to hide that bad spot was to set it on its side which was super cute! Until I woke up to pumpkin juice everywhere and had to throw it out and clean up a lot of pumpkin juice.

After the massacre, they didn’t put out any more female flowers. I don’t know if it was the lack of quality seeds, or the attack of pests, but this vine SUCKED. Will no be planting again.

Pumpkin Variety: Connecticut Field

This was a quality seed pack from Bakers Creek like the others, but what a let down. This vine only put out two long vines and one single pumpkin. It was a good size, unlike the Jack-O-Lanterns, but fuck that.

Pumpkin Variety: Miniature

Now these were awesome. I see no point in NOT planting miniature pumpkins. I did two in one container and they had great yields. Specifically: 18 orange Jack Be Littles, and 14 Chinese Miniature White.

So you get a lot of bang for your buck! They make adorable displays because you have so many. And thay mature very quickly unlike the large pumpkins. So less patience required. Seriously, even if I didn’t do a “patch” again, you gotta do the minis. So worth it.

Pumpkin Patch PESTS

I have literally never grown anything on the land that this patch was grown on. So it was even stranger that I had such huge pest problems.

First, came the slugs. I didn’t know what was eating my leaves so I went out one night and found like 15 slugs on the end of my single Jack-O-Lantern vine. They had killed it from that point down. Fuckers. Luckily, slug bait fixed that. But EW — I picked them off that night and just EW.

Then came the squash bugs. They kicked my ass all season. The adults don’t respond to Sevin dust either. So I used ungodly amounts of Sevin Dust and sprayed RAID too. And I had so many bees that I could only spray the RAID in the evening. So it just sucked. And you’d think you got a handle on it only to find a pile of eggs the next morning. FUCK THEM.

Then, after I harvest my last pumpkins, I caught a squash borrower. I never noticed them all season. However, one of my little white pumpkins in the kitchen had gunk on it one evening. Well, that’s weird because I scrubbed them all when I brought them in. So I took it over to the sink to wash it and it had a perfect little circle in it.

I sat it on the counter to stare at it and a little fucking green worm popped out! WTF! Bastard. So I guess those will be a possible problem next year.

None of these vines will be going into the compost due to the pests. I’m going to bag them up in the garbage to be hauled off.

Pumpkin Patch Results

Well, I couldn’t bring myself to put them outside. So I have a lot of cool pumpkin vignettes in the house.

So that’s really fun. And I’m super proud of my pumpkins. It was also a cool hobby to have during the summer. I got to bond with Louie as he got so accustomed to coming out with me every morning. I learned a lot too!

Lessons for Next Pumpkin Patch

I learned early on that you gotta have a watering system. Pumpkins are THIRSTY. And make sure the fucking gutter cleaners don’t turn it off and kill your months worth of work!

Next time I will only plant pumpkins that can cross pollinate with each other. This will alleviate me having to go out every morning to pollinate the flowers. It turns out we had a ton of bees. So next time, they can do the work.

I grew the vines how I wanted them to grow. And that was East (using strings). They do not want to grow East, they want to grow South. So why fight that? Also in this same vein, I planted them where I did to get the most sun. Well, fuck that. They were dying every afternoon. So I would rotate the square I planted them in.

I learned not to let the growing pumpkins sit on the ground. I used my old bakers racks to raise them off the ground. Then some old tiles when I ran out of those. However, with the Rouge Vif D’ Etampes, I learned that those particular pumpkins are cuter if you don’t set them straight upright to grow. They look fun a little wonky. The Connecticut Field is the opposite.

I used cloth grow bags over plastic for appeal, but they just molded and mildewed so that was a waste.

I planted marigolds to attract the pests before they got to the pumpkins, but I didn’t plant them early enough. The pumpkins established months before the marigolds did. So those need to go in way earlier.

In Closing

I have earned my pumpkin tattoos.

Compost Bins: Stage Two

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The Stages

Stage One of building the compost bins is complete. That was getting the corrals up.

Stage Two is now complete! I put the fronts on the corrals!

Stage Two++ is in progress which will be using the metal mesh to corral the leaves and hay from blowing all over the yard. I made the sides which will be the depth of the corrals. Now I need to make the back and door. I can do this in the garage since the width is arbitrary to the wood available.

Stage Three will be the top. This is not planned out as well. My ideas are fluctuating. And I’m in no huge hurry. I mean the materials is still decided. But do I really want one huge lid? I don’t know. We shall see.

Saturday Morning

So last we left off, I had the corrals of my compost bins up. But they still needed fronts. So this Saturday, I decided to conquer Stage Two. This was going to involve my first experience with a circular saw, so I knew it was going to be a lot. So I set up camp. All my materials laid out. A chair for rest. An umbrella for sun. And the VIP of the day: my new Worx WX065 Clamping Sawhorses with Bar Clamps.

Seriously: These sawhorses are fucking amazing. How are you suppose to saw shit without the clamps holding it in place? And the saw horses are built to hold and lock-in the clamps, but you can take them off and use them by themselves. You can also take them off to store them — in the built-in slot that holds them. They fold up. They’re light weight. They hold a thousand pounds (together). WTF. These are amazing. Since you have to use two hands to use the circular saw, I don’t even know how I would have done this without these things. They’re the things I didn’t know I desperately needed.

I also used my new circular saw! I’m not great. For some reason, when I get to the very end of the cut, it wants to kick and not finish that bottom corner. I corrected for this by using a piece of scrap wood behind the pieces I needed to cut to cut into, but WTF? I need a class. Anyway — I got set UP and ready to conquer. I even had a ton of drinks in the wagon.

Since sawing things was intimidating, I started with the rebar. I wanted to secure the front of the corrals with rebar in the ground. I didn’t think this would be a difficult task, but it was. I’m not known for my strength. So hammering rebar a foot into clay was more difficult than I expected. It got easier as they got down to a height that was more natural for my arm — but damn. I secured them to each side with some metal straps.

Yeah, they’re real crooked. Don’t judge me. I did this whole project by myself.

Then, I had to embrace cutting wood. So the front of my bins are stacked boards. To secure these boards, I made a little wood I-Beam on the front of each post. So a little 2×2 spacer sandwiched between two 6 inch fence boards. You can see I secured the spacer and backs to the posts first with some 4 inch screws to really get them in there. I also wanted to easily measure how long my horizontal boards needed to be. I expected each bin to need a custom length or there to be longer and shorter lengths on top and bottom. But I was pretty damn square.

Then, it was lunch time.

Saturday Afternoon

After lunch, I needed to put the fronts on my I-Beams and start cutting my horizontal slats. I measured 35 inches from spacer to spacer and 31 inches from inner to inner post. So I made my boards 34 inches. This gives them a whole inch of wiggle room if the walls shift and makes getting them in and out a breeze. But I still have 3 inches to hold them in there, so no need to worry about centering them.

My first test slats: SUCCESS!

Now to cut 13 more.

Look at my happy fronts! There’s tons of wiggle room for boards to curl, but not so much that two boards could slide over each other.

Also, the front posts are taller so I can place a 2×4 across the top of each side and they will cover it. You can see I had one laid on top in an earlier picture when I was measuring how long to cut those.

LOOK! I DID IT!

Fucking beautiful.

Sunday: COMPOST DAY!

So the next day, I built my compost pile. This had the added benefit of raking leaves and pulling vines off my house to use as composting material for the 3 gallons of kitchen waste I’ve accumulated in the fridge waiting on my ass to actually complete this project. Ok, it’s not COMPLETE, but it’s to a functional stage.

I made my pile with marigolds, a fuck ton of lemon grass, vines, and half dead plants for the “greens.” And crusty old lemon grass, leaves, hay, and cardboard for the “browns.”

Don’t worry, the card board was cut up pretty small, see:

I also cut up the vines.

Next Up

I did make the two sides for the browns corral. I can finish it off in the garage and place it out there whenever I get around to it. It’s a very simple frame that I will staple the wire mesh into. The front will be a gate that matches the bins.

Then, eventually, I will make a lid. Or lids. The plan is in flux. Right now, my compost pile just has a big square of cardboard over the top. It’s fine.

Super proud of myself! GO ME!

Compost Bins: Stage One

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Compost Bins: Stage One

The Stages

Stage One of building the compost bins is complete. They are standing. There are three corrals. They look great.

Stage Two will be adding the front faces to the corrals — I hope to accomplish that this weekend. All of the materials have been acquired.

Stage Two++ has been added which will be somehow using the metal mesh to corral the leaves and hay from blowing all over the yard. I’ve got ideas. More coming on that later. Maybe I can work on that this weekend too. But it’s not part of Stage 2. It is an additional and optional task.

Stage Three will be the top. This is not planned out as well. I know the roof design. I’ve chosen the materials and the design from a build I like. Now how I attach it… I would love to have someone with more skills and tools help. I will be building the height of the back of the corrals up a slight bit so the lid will slant forward. It will rest on the front with hinges in the back. However, I would absolutely love for some help to build up the sides (inner and outer) to match the angle so that it lays flat on the structure. Not required, but I would like that.

One Stage Down

So I ended up going for a kit. I used two of the “Greens Fence” brand “Composter” kits. They sell these at big homes stores like Home Depot and I scored mine on sale on Wayfair. You can buy them online on their site too. They’re extendable, and customizable.

I assumed I could get someone to build me something for much cheaper. I was very wrong. With inflation — wood prices have skyrocketed. The only compost bins I could find on Marketplace and local sites were really bad and more expensive than the kit. So I drew up this sketch of what I thought I wanted and tossed it out to three local builders to see what they could do. I mean surely if you use pressure treated pine (as opposed to cedar) and don’t use all the fancy dovetail cuts, it will be cheaper right? Here’s what I sent. I did this really quick in Photoshop, but I’m low key proud of extending that picture to three bins.

The closest one guy could get was two bins in pine for that price. Yeah… no. So I ordered the two kits on sale with free shipping. They got here in like three days. I was very excited to put them together but I didn’t. Like this is adult lincoln logs. There is nothing to fix together — just build and go. No nails, screws, or glue needed. Now, I didn’t do it that way, but still.

I just couldn’t get off my ass and do it. This who menopause thing has me napping every damn day and I just haven’t wanted to go out in the hot garage and put this shit together. As much as I want to play with the blocks, I don’t want to. So I just kept watching youtube videos and getting nothing done. Until…

I embraced the fact that it wasn’t happening. Fuck it, I’m in the living room and they will be too. So I decided to build all the sides in the airconditioned living room while watching youtube. And that’s what I did. I put together the four sides in the livingroom. I had little cedar squares cut for the “feet” so there would be slight protection from the ground. I know they will rot eventually, but lets let my feet rot first and give me a chance to replace those before the posts.

FUN TANGENT! One of the reviewers gave it a bad review. They assembled it in the garage and when they went to move it outside, all the bottom pieces fell out. No shit, Sherlock — nothing’s holding it together. People are so stupid.

So I screwed the feet on on the posts and proceeded to build my giant lincoln logs set. One runner, two spacers — repeat. However, I used wood glue. Not just any wood glue, I used Gorilla Brand Wood Glue. As Adam Savage says, wood glue is amazing. It’s one of the only bonds that is strong than the thing it bonds. And from every experience I’ve had with Gorilla Brand — they are just OP. (That’s Over Powered for the nonnerds). Like Gorilla says “hold my beer so I won’t glue it to myself.”

Seriously, I have a sunsail on the side of the house to cover the pool equipment. One anchor pulled out last year and I liquid nailed it in place. It still pulled out. So this year, I bought bigger and deeper anchors to install it. Still pulled out. So I googled what the strongest of the Gorilla Glues was — it’s the Clear Constructions glue. Surprisingly not the regular one — the clear one. I used that shit. That anchor is part of the house now. If you want it down, you will need to replace those bricks. I squeezed it in the holes, put the anchors in, squeezed it in the anchors, gobbed it all over the anchor plate, then screwed it on. It hasn’t moved. It is part of the house now.

So that was actually kinda fun. The middle sections don’t have all their slats, so I used screws to just prop up a spacer where I needed it until the glue hardened. Four sides complete.

I’m also lining this in metal mesh. Did I mention that? Yeah, quarter inch hardware cloth. Like, yes, I’m not an idiot. I know critters will get in. But I don’t have to give them an open invitation. Also, when I turn this shit I don’t want to constantly be raking up everything that fell through the slats. So I went ahead and installed that inside too. I precut the metal mesh in the garage with my dremel and stapled it on in the house. The middle sections have mesh on both sides to keep a little air pocket between the corrals because compost needs air. A tip from another build I stole.

You can see here that I cut the mesh purposefully a bit wide to account for my not putting it on straight. I just used this metal leveler I had handy to bend the mesh into the corners.

I did actually consider building two of the corrals inside and then attaching them with a back wall outside, but they were getting heavy. With the metal mesh, they were a lot heavier. So the backs had to be assembled in the great outdoors. Boooooooooooooo

I actually did another extra step. Again, critters will live in here — but I don’t have to leave the light on. So I trenched a bit around the inner edges and buried some mesh in the dirt a bit and stapled it to the bins. While doing this I totally put all my weight onto one foot to get the trowel in deeper and totally fell in the mud. It’s fine.

Did I bury it deep? No. Don’t I realize they’ll get in anyway? Yes. But I’m not the Super8 Motel OK, I can do what I can.

So then I glued the back slats and spacers in place and rested. Because it is hot outside and there are mosquitos.

Then I came back and stapled all the mesh up onto the sides and the mesh sheet on the back. WHA LA! Each section is a three foot cube. The three bin system has you using the left-most bin constantly for new scraps and waste. You can turn back and forth between two bins until you get some stuff thats mostly composted. Then stuff that’s mostly composted goes into the middle bin and new compost and still big chunks stay in the left bin. Finished compost (and my overwinter dirt storage) goes in the right bin and is ready to use at any time. Since I have the quarter inch mesh, I can make a really big portable mesh screen to just cover the top of that bin with some scrap wood. That will be my filter. FREE SIFTER, BABY.

Coming Soon

So this weekend (hopefully), I will install the fronts. As in the drawing I used to show the wood workers what I want, I’ll be doing slats. This is all real cedar. To make the slat tunnels/holders/sides/whatevers, I bought cedar fence planks. So it’ll be a sandwich of cedar plank, spacer, cedar plank stuck on the front of each post. The fronts themselves will be cut wood. Specifically treated pine fence planks that were dyed to look cedar. Cause, listen, I can more easily replace rotting sliding planks than pieces of the actual unit. Cedar for the bins, pine for the front slats.

I already have the materials and a spiffy new circular saw to get it done!

Oh and I need a browns corral. I already have my hay bale out there ready to get to workin’! And I’ve already notice the wind blow a bit of it around. I’m also going to want to have leaves on hand (and pulled weeds) to add as I add greens. Well, as I’ve already taken the build specifics from a lot of different peoples bins to make my fankenbins — I’m taking another. One guy had a cylinder of wire mesh next to his that he kept his browns in. Wait, I have a fuck ton of wire mesh now. So I’m gonna buy some rebar stakes and make a little square on the side there for me to dump leaves and stuff in for easy access. It won’t be part of the bin system and lid. Just a corral for my browns. I want to put a “door” on it for easy access when it’s low (also because hay will probably be on the bottom and leaves on top and ill want to grab a mix of browns). I’ve got some scrap lumber in the garage, I might try to outline it in lumber and make a little mesh gate door for the front.

Since I bought two composter kits and assembled them in my own fashion, I have a lot of extra slats. I can use some of the extra slats to make the front gate of my browns corral match the sides of the bins perfectly!

Now we’re getting somewhere!

Phase three isn’t on a schedule. If it starts to rain a ton, I can throw a tarp over the active bins. It’s going to get done. But I can start composting this weekend. Not have to wait on the lid.

The Great Monstera Experiment Begins

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on The Great Monstera Experiment Begins

I know, a lot of plant posts. But, I can’t believe I haven’t posted about my Monstera! I told you about the Great Lemon Grass Experiment (they’re in rehab right now), the Great Pumpkin Experiment (we have some flowers coming back in!). Now we have the Great Monstera Experiment. And I do mean Great. Like GREAT BIG.

Back in June, we went to the plant swap. And holy shit, I won the door prize! There was a lot of stuff with the door prize (K, have you used that book giftcard?). The best part: A Monstera! Before this, I really only knew about Monsteras from them being my favorite plant in Animal Crossing. Now I HAVE one. So I had a lot to learn. I got into Monstera groups on Facebook and Reddit, followed plant people on youtube. Did I want to pole it? Whats the best pole to use? So much info.

However, June was also the month of the Washing Machine Incident. So it was July before I could actually do anything with this plant. Even re-potting it. And believe me, it needed a repot. The roots were growing through the holes in the bottom so much they blocked the drainage. I went and bought a really nice concrete planter for this baby. I wanted to upsize the pot, but not by much. And I needed the weight.

I decided I wanted to go with moss poles. Specifically: Easy D-Shaped poles. Upon inspection, I found that my Monstera actually had two plants in it (later found to be three). And those two plants were straight up facing each other. Fuck me. This sucks because it meant that to repot it with a pole, I had to separate the plants. Ugh. Here it is before the great repot. At this time, I had had it for about a month.

So I ordered some nice transparent and extendable D poles. I found the widest ones I could (I think they are five inches?), but I wasn’t sure I could get both plants on one pole. I ordered an eight pack though so I figured I would figure it out when the time came. Good thing I did that, because they needed two. Which kinda meant the plant actually got no new room since the poles took up too much space in the pot. Whatever. The good news is, I still have enough of the poles to extend three times (two foot each, but a few inches of overlap required).

I even bought the insanely expensive ethically sourced and harvested sphagnum moss straight from New Zealand. Yeah, it was fucking expensive. This free plant started costing a lot. But really, the environmental harm from sphagnum moss harvesting is devastating. Get that shit ethically, yall. They don’t HAVE to destroy the environment to harvest it. It can be done in a way that preserves the ecosystem. It’s just harder, produces less (but better quality), and therefore it’s a lot more expensive. Luckily that shit expands like crazy so I barely used any of it in this phase.

So after the insanely stressful surgery to separate the plants and tie them to the poles and do everything by the book — it looked like SHIT.

This was the trust the process part. It has to get worse before it gets better.

So, my Monstera was a mess. It had been completely turned around and the petioles were just all over the place. So I bought the Velcro plant ties. Name brand — they were WAY BETTER than the cheap shit that came with the poles. The Velcro brand plant ties are amazing — so soft against the plant. Love them. So yeah, my actual Stems are only about 5 inches at this point so there’s only so much anchoring I can do to the pole. But it is also already very thick and woody.

So.

I had to train the leaves. I did this very slowly. For each petiole, I wanted to move, I made a thick padding of paper towels folded over each other. I wrapped that loosely around the petiole and used the velcro ties to tie it to the pole. Not a lot! It was a slow process. You can’t just jerk them back. So over weeks, I’d shorten the velcro length to get them more upright.

At this point, after 2 months, I am proud to say, only one petiole is actually being supported. In fact, I can probably remove that now. It’s pretty solid. Here’s a picture from this morning:

I have not and do not plan to remove any damaged leaves. As you can tell from the picture where I brought it home (and the fact that two plants were potted facing each other), it didn’t have the best care. This wasn’t intended to be someones love project. They expected someone to take this home and slowly kill it. So the leaves are very wonky and curled in all kind of ways. One of the leaves is only a fraction of a leaf. But fuck you, I’m gonna make the most beautiful Monstera your ass has ever seen.

It’s already looking 1,000% better than it did. This month, it already spit out three new leaves! Yeah three! Turns out, there’s a tiny baby vine in there. The new leaf is only its third one. You can’t even see it in these photos. The aerial roots are taking to the moss extremely well. So glad I went with the D poles. They don’t dry out very fast. I’m sure that will change in winter — but they stay moist well over a week because they’re only exposed at the front by the plant.

Also, having used two side-by-side, they really strengthen each other as I have the zip-tied together in a few places. As it gets taller, I might need a board or metal bar on the back to keep it study and straight. But I honestly think I can get to 5 feet before I need extra support. Right now, I’m not even using a foot of the pole (well, above soil, I should say — its obviously buried in the pot). Also, I’ll have enough room for my third vine growing up!

So here, my friends, is my grand plan:

Yes! I plan to grow this motherfucker all the way up to the second story railing. I can’t go higher that that because, how would I possibly water the moss pole after it passes the second story? And eventually, it will get there. I’ve already picked out the perfect grow light and hanging bracket. I’m hoping it will go on sale for Black Friday. It’s the one that the youtuber KillThisPlant uses on his GIGANTIC indoor Monstera. (He’s who shared the Velcro tape too). It’s actually a really beautiful pendant light that I will be hanging from above. I can easily raise it but pulling in the cable length as the plant grows taller. That’s what I drew in the blue so badly on that photo mark-up. Though I acknowledge that halfway up, I might need to get a second pendant. We shall cross that bridge we we come to it. For right now, we’re using the ugly grow light I purchased to overwinter my plants last year. I measured it with a light meter and it’s putting out well over what I need to get this thing big and healthy.

Then when it gets too tall, I’ll be able to chop and prop and keep the top 8ish feet of pole and move the mother plant and keep extending. I’ve seen a lot of tutorials on how to do this and they all use moss poles. If you get enough roots in the actual pole, the plant can survive a repot with minimal stress after being cut from the mother plant. And then repeat forever.

Most of the plant youtubers don’t have the space for the giant Monstera leaves as they grow indoors and that’s what hampers them. They just can’t let them get so huge indoors. BUT I CAN! I got space. This is going to be the centerpiece of my house. My pièce de résistance. When you enter through the beautiful doors you will see Sir Bastian and this TWO STORY MONSTERA. And you will be amazed.

Shout out to the youtubers who have taught me far more than I even thought I’d want to know about Monsteras:

More Chop and Prop

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on More Chop and Prop

So an update on my Fishbone Cactus. I posted about it earlier this week. It had a lot of damage, but I was also so in love with it that I didn’t want to cut it. I loved the long stems! But the damage was pretty bad. I wanted to watch a plant that I love grow. Not worry about needing to clean it up every time I watered it.

Well, I gave it a hair cut…

Now I have a healthy plant though. Look at how much damage I had to cut off!

I did salvage the tips of the damaged stems. I’m rooting them. Maybe I can sell the rooted bits at the next plant swap. Or just hoard it as a new plant…