Tag: Movies

DEADPOOL! Deadpool deadpool DEADPOOL!

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Are you aware that Deadpool 3 AKA Deadpool and Wolverine comes out Thursday? TWO DAYS FROM NOW. Did you know?

So tonight, I’m watching Deadpool. Tomorrow, I will watch Deadpool 2. And you’re damn fucking straight I already have our Thursday tickets. I bought them this weekend. DEADPOOL DATE! Yep, my husbands going to see Deadpool with me!

Let’s Fucking Go.

No seriously, I’m fucking JAZZED. Look at this adorable Deadpool Lego mini figure I got this weekend at Nerdy Noel. I have him sitting on my monitor like he was sitting on the highway in the first movie. See his little legs are even swinging:

And I didn’t know this until after I bought it and had it at home — BUT HIS MASK COMES OFF! His face is all fucked up and everything:

I’m kicking myself for not getting all three Deadpools they had and I don’t know the booths name to contact them. They had Bob Ross Deadpool and also Deadpool in the X-Men in Training shirt from the second movie.

Oh and I had to replace my refrigerator notepad. I had the “Note from Jack” pad but it got lost in moving. Somehow I have the BACK of the notepad, but none of the paper. So I got a yellow one with gold foil that says “Let’s Fucking Go” off of Etsy. Don’t yall act like you put that pad on yellow on accident. Uhuh.

DEADPOOL! I gotta go get dinner and then me and Louie are watching Deadpool 1. And just because I’m seeing it Thursday doesn’t mean I won’t go see it with you. You going another night? I’m down. Let’s Fucking Go. I already know I’m going to be obsessed with it.

Beetlejuice 2

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I cannot believe that we’re getting a sequel to Beetlejuice 35 years later. Not a reboot — we’ve go the original Deetz mom and daughter — original Beetlejuice — original director. And we’re ADDING Jenna Ortega and William Dafoe. How does this happen?

This Halloween is gonna be THE SHIT.

Also, if you haven’t seen Jenna Ortega’s Wednesday — you are missing out. It was fucking fantastic.

Netflix’s Polar

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It’s my fake Friday. I took a long ass nap. I’m gonna make a frozen Quest pizza and stay up super late.

Some background: I decided to do another booknook. I ordered a generic “Rose Detective Agency.” One that is clearly knocking off Sherlock. The address is 210B Rose Street. Well, that can’t stand. Clearly I’ll have to fix the address and street sign. So if I’m doing that… I might as well do some other customizations… So this led me down a Sherlock (BBC, Benedict Cumberbatch) hole. I’ve decided I’ve just got to rewatch the show for inspiration. I was going to do it this weekend.

So I find myself up late with time to kill. I’ll start my Sherlock binge early! So I pull up Netflix as I assume it’s on there. And I see this:

Interesting, maybe I’ll add it to my watch list. The description: “John Wick meets The Equalizer.” John Wick kinda already was the Equalizer over the dog, but show me more. I watched the trailer.

Well, fuck. Now I’m waiting on my pizza to be done so I can start my movie. It’s totally Mads Mikkelsen as an over-the-top John Wick. It won’t be as good, but it looks like a damn good ride. I’m down.

REVIEW:

It takes over an hour before they even inspire the guy to do any vengeance. In that hour there’s a LOT of gratuitous sex. We’re talking a LOT. Even boobs against a window at one point. The characters are just insanely over the top caricatures of villains. I’ve paused here at the 1 hour and 21 minute mark and it’s FINALLY about to get good. With only 36 minutes left — at least 6 of which is probably credits.

To even compare this to John Wick is just insulting to everyone. I feel like this movie is insulting to Mads Mikkelsen’s talent, even. I mean fuck. It better be a damn good 30 minutes.

***SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT***

Not that he should be alive at this point, having been tortured for three days and I don’t think they gave him water to drink during any of that and he’s bleeding like a lot — for three days. So very implausible — but he’s finally about to escape and do some killing. Here we go.

So he’s escaping and kicking ass. Only the occasional stop to pant to show he’s struggling. He’s even been shot in the leg by this point. He’s missing an eye — part of the 3 days of being tortured and bleeding. Like maybe if they had only tortured and starved and dehydrated him for one day, I’d give it to you. I mean give me SOMETHING to buy here. But he was literally chained up the whole time. They made a point to show him still chained on the floor before and after each torture — next to a floor drain — for the blood, of course. So like, he hasn’t even been able to go shit or anything. Much less get a drink of water. This is stupid.

And surprising left filed twist ending plus a set up for a second movie.

THUMBS DOWN. You suck, Netflix. I should have watched Sherlock.

I can’t fucking believe you DARED to compare this to John Wick. Fuck.