Cat Food. Also Mario.

Louie

I’m trying to review a lot of the things I’ve purchased for Louie. Which, of course, is a lot of things. But I can’t review these odor eliminating products. Why? Because I just chunked everything available at the problem so there’s too many variables.

I have charcoal bags. Charcoal and baking soda litter freshener. Gel odor absorbers. A little soapish paw print that I tossed in the litterbox. Bath and Body Works Plug-In and candles. Cause Louie has some kind of digestive issues.

I mentioned his gas problem in a previous post (clicky). So I took him to the vet the day after I got him. They prescribed him prebiotics and they did a lot! His gas is a million times better. Our house had just smelled like cat diarrhea. Now we’re doing good. However, his poop smells beyond foul. Yall, it’s bad. Hence the barrage of odor solutions. It’s been two weeks so it’s not anxiety. So time to switch his food. I researched foods for pet food specific for this problem and was recommended Blue Buffalo: Grain-Free and Natural Balance: Limited Ingredients by Google. I asked the vet what they would recommend but they said they don’t recommend specific foods because different food work for different pets. Kinda sounded like bullshit, but whatever.

So Blue Buffalo is good ingredients, but don’t I need to figure out what he’s having issues with? So I chose Natural Balance: Limited Ingredients. We’re switching now. He hasn’t noticed because he’s a vacuum. I hope this gets rid of the smelly poop. I’ve got the house under control, but once you open that litter closet — DAMN.

Also, as to him being a vacuum. I feel bad. I free fed Jack and Tabitha so they always had food available. I tried that with Louie and he ate more than a days worth in like an hour. So Louie gets fed twice a day but he eats it immediately. So I feel bad for him. But I don’t want him to turn into a basketball either. No conclusion to the paragraph, I just feels bad, ya know?

Mario

Have you seen the new Mario movie? It’s fucking fantastic, if you have not. Well, if you like Mario it’s fantastic. It’s a kids movie so we’re not looking at Oscar material here. However, if you know the Mario games and appreciate them, it’s awesome. I was worried because I don’t like Donkey Kong and he’s obviously a big part of it — but Seth Rogen played him great. It was basically just Seth Rogen in a monkey suit and it was fine. Also, Bowser was Jack Black. And it was HILARIOUS. Jack Black is obsessed with Princess Peach and want to marry her. Jack Black sings about her. It’s perfect. I love Tenacious D, so I’ve had the “Peaches” song in my head for over a week. And that’s impressive considering the lyrics are mostly just “peaches peaches peaches peaches peaches.”

The absolute standout though — Lumalee. In Bowser’s prison, there is a demented Luma. We cut to Bowser’s prison throughout the film — the penguins are there (OMG, I have to have some kind of King Penguin merch). Luigi ends up there. And Lumalee is always there. And all Lumalee wants is the sweet release of death. Yall, demented Luma is so fucked up and amazing. I have no idea how they decided to put that in the movie — but my god, it made it wonderful. Lumalee is constantly dancing and singing and user his magic — but he’s dark as fuck. He calls Luigi “more meat for the grinder” when he arrives. And when he’s about to die in the climax, he lays down in his cage and says “finally.” Of course they’re rescued and all you see is Lumalee laying there saying “boooooooo.”

The move ends and it’s good — we’re all happy. Them Lumalee pops up to say that was a happy ending. Except now there is nothing left but the emptiness and the void. What the actual fuck? I’m sorry to the parents that had kids there who heard me say “what the fuck” every time Lumalee said something. I’d want Lumalee merch, but I feel the only way it would be good is if it had the lines from the film. Like maybe a stuffed Lumalee and when you squeeze it, it just says dark shit. 100% would buy.

Review: Made4Pets Modern Cat Tower

This review is for Louie’s new cat tower. Or, as Amazon likes to call it: “Made4Pets Cat Tree Modern Cat Tower Featuring with Fully Sisal Covering Scratching Posts, Deluxe Condos and Large Space Capsule Nest.” This is listed at $159.99 right now, but there was a $17 off coupon on it when I ordered.

Not sure where to start this review.  A pro/con list?  Let’s start with getting the package.    This thing was packaged wonderfully.  Was there a ton of excess trash because of that? Yes.  However, I appreciated that the acrylic bowl was situated in custom cut styrofoam to keep it from getting damaged.  I also liked how organized all the assembly bits were in their neat tray.  Just don’t open them upside down, like I did. 

First, I laid everything out.  Then I was intimidated.  I love assembling furniture, but I have to say, this had a lot of pieces.  The first thing I noticed, out of the box —  All of the particle board pieces are completely finished on all sides – even those that meet and don’t show.  That’s really nice.  I wasn’t thrilled that the front and back pieces are just thin laminate and not solid “wood.”  However, I did note that it would be easy to switch those two pieces so this tree could face left or right.  That’s nice.  The biggest con was the assembly method.  It uses cam lock fasteners.  I hate these things.  They just don’t make for sturdy fasteners.  They give too much wobble. 

The instructions were pretty good.  I’d watch the video first.  I did not.  Had I done that, I probably wouldn’t have done step 6 upside down and had to back track.  Do you know how hard it is to get cam locks out?  Real hard.  Note that on the piece with the two entrance holes, there are predrilled holes towards the top for the top stair.  It’s not just symmetrical. 

Also, I posted a picture with some markups.  100% switch steps 11 and 12.  This is stupid – do 12 first.  That saves you from “some” of the gymnastics to get step 11 done.  Good lord, good luck.  You’re going in blind – literally, and trying to fasten things you can’t see at strange angels upside down.  God speed. 

That said, my cat was all over this thing during assembly.  He loves it!  I was putting the rug mats on and he was already climbing it and getting in my way.  He went under the bowl and started attacking those four scratchers immediately.  I sat him in the bowl and he started attacking the corner balls.  Tons of fun for the cat.  He hasn’t been into hiding in the boxes, but I, at least, appreciate the very fluffy butt pillows that are in there. 

I found that he loved the bowl if I put him in it, but wouldn’t jump in it on his own.  I think that’s because he can’t see that it’s a solid place to jump.  So I put a blanket in there.   I know, this limited the adorable toe beans and scrunched-up-cat-cuteness, but it’s probably more cozy with the blanket anyway.  Even if it does distract from the clean aesthetics.  Now that the blanket is in there, this is his GO-TO spot.  He just trots up the stairs and gets in his little bowl.  My husband says that’s mostly where he hangs out when I’m at work. 

I bought this for the high bowl for him to hang out in.  I wanted him to have a high place to sit in the window.  This is perfect!  He sits in the bowl and watches the people go by in the front window.  I have to leave those blinds open for him.  It is his favorite spot in the house.  I also bought this for the clean design.  Thank you so much, for not covering this thing in carpet!  I hate those ugly cat trees!  Also, if he barfs on it, I can wipe it up or wash the part he barfed on (the rug pads are velcroed on). 

So in summary, I do love the finished product.  If it was screwed together and not held together with cam locks, it would be 5 stars for SURE.  Even with the cam locks, it’s pretty sturdy.  My cat has leapt at this thing and it’s been completely fine.  He loves it, I’m happy with the look.  It’s great.  So I give it 4 stars.

Review: Belifu Dual Channel TENS EMS Unit

Yall know I like to post my Amazon reviews here. This is a review I wrote before I had this blog. Why am I posting it? Because I just loaned this thing to K and this review includes instructions to use it. So this review is for (as amazon calls it) the Belifu Dual Channel TENS EMS Unit 24 Modes Muscle Stimulator for Pain Relief Therapy, Electronic Pulse Massager Muscle Massager with 10 Pads, Dust-Proof Drawstring Storage Bag,Fastening Cable Ties. This is from February 2020 when I was still doing physical therapy. I rated this thing 3 out of 5 stars. Here you go:

I’ve been doing physical therapy for headaches and some neck damage after hitting my head in a car accident. After we get done, they always apply heat and TENS for 20 minutes. I wanted to be able to do this at home in hopes of breaking my headaches without pain killers. So ‘a TENS shopping I went.

I quickly learned there are a LOT of affordable TENS devices. At this low price point, the market is saturated. Most websites and videos that rank them are just hidden advertisements. So in my non-professional knowledge I started looking. Here’s a few things I knew I wanted that helped me with my first cut:

– Duel Channel.

– Distinguishable positive and negative terminals (NOTE: this product does not meet this requirement. Read further).

– Powerful. I like my TENS pretty strong. Just below what causes a twitch.

– Great reviews. (I trust Amazon reviews. If you find this helpful, give me a helpful vote).

– Snap connectors rather than line-in. This is 100% personal preference. Snap connectors can easily be connected and disconnected with one hand. They can be disconnected with one finger. This is super helpful, in my opinion, when it’s in a hard to reach location on my back. Also, if you were using it on an arm, I’m assuming it would be almost a must. Also, snap connectors seem to be a little more sturdy, again, in my opinion.

This got me down to two devices. I chose this one because it DOES NOT have a touch screen. Touch screens are sensitive, they break, they crack. Do you really need a touch screen? I decided I did not want that liability.

So here we are. I’ve ordered my TENS device. My thoughts:

PROS:

– The box is a perfect fit for everything. I’m just going to keep it all together in the box.

– Attached cable ties! What? That’s such a thoughtful touch. It shows they thought about how people use this. It’s so convenient. No garbage ties. This keeps all the cables so neat and tidy. Awesome. Thumbs up, for that, guys.

– Very small. I like small. However if you have crappy near vision, this might not be best for you. For me, it’s a pro.

– The included pads each have their own protective plastic sheet. I love this over having multiple pads on one sheet. It’s super space saving too.

– The included pads are in little zip bags grouped by two. I like this. To me, it shows -again- that they thought of how people will use this. You generally use the pads in pairs. These are grouped into pairs and easy to grab from the box or bag. You can also label the baggy to show which have been used. If you had multiple users, you could have the baggy labeled with their name.

– Manual has great descriptions of all 24 modes.

– Strong current. I find that around 60% is enough to cause slight muscle twitches. This means I, personally, will not ever go above that. I don’t like it that high.

– No wasted buttons.

– Duel channel.

– Can use up to 6 pads at once.

– Snap connectors (See above for why I prefer these).

CONS:

– I wish they sold a case for it. I’ll use the box, but I’m not going to just toss this all in the included bag. That’s messy.

– The product photos show color coded terminals. I assumed this would tell me the polarity of the terminals. It does not. I’ll have to borrow a voltmeter to figure this out and mark it with a sharpie.

– Only one of my wires is even color coded. On the two individual wires, both terminals are white. So not only do I not know the polarity at all, now I can’t even make sure I’m mirroring the polarity when I use the pads. SERIOUS downfall. I’m getting around this by using the double wire and will eventually use a voltmeter to mark them. If the double wire wasn’t color coded, I’d have sent this back immediately. I feel like the product photos are a lie because of this.

– No setting for constant intensity. Setting 3 : 3 does a good job of mimicking the sensation I use at physical therapy. However, it fades in and out in intensity like a wave. I would like it to be one constant intensity like I use in physical therapy. In 24 settings, not one single one uses constant intensity.

– Can only increase time in 10 minute increments.

– Can only increase timer. Cannot lower timer if you went over.

USAGE:

It’s not extremely user friendly or intuitive on how to select individual modes. I’m an engineer so it’s no trouble, but if the clock is never set correctly on your microwave, get ready. Since the manual didn’t seem well written for this, here’s how to use it:

1) Put the pads on so you can feel what you’re adjusting.

(Don’t stress about picking the mode here. Once you do it once, you’re probably just going to use that same mode every time. You got this)

2) Select MAIN MODE using side to side arrows. There are 6 types of massage aka “main modes.” Use the side to side buttons to select the type you want. I’m a fan of number three. You probably can’t feel anything because when you switch modes, it automatically turns the intensity down to nothing. So use the up and down arrows on the side of the device you are using (the side you plugged in) to feel the sensations.

3) Select Setting/Sub Mode using the ‘M’ button. Within each of the 6 main modes, there are 4 settings. The manual actually does a great job of telling you what each setting is and what it is good for. I’m a fan of 3: 3. This is “Tapping (TENS)”. The manual tells me this produces a “hard thumping sensation that massage your muscles, which can give you an invigorated and revitalized feeling.” Keep hitting the ‘M’ button until you get to the number of the sub mode you want. Again, it automatically turns the intensity down to nothing when you change modes, So use the up and down arrows on the side of the device you are using (the side you plugged in) to feel the sensations.

(Now you know what mode you like. So next time you turn it on, it will be easy. I like 3 : 3, for instance. So when I turn it on, I arrow over to the 3 Mode. Then I hit ‘M’ twice to change from sub 1, to sub 2, to sub 3. Easy peasy).

4) Adjust the intensity with the up and down arrows. If you’re using both A and B, you’ll have to do this on both sides.

5) Optional: Adjust timer. Hit the ‘T’ button to add 10 minutes to the current timer setting.

NOTE: The center round button starts and stops the pulses.

MY PERSONAL SAFETY SUGGESTIONS:

– Don’t move around a lot while the TENS device is active. Get yourself comfortable and settled before turning on the pulses. You can use the pause button (center circle) to pause sensations if you wanna move around to get more comfortable.

– Don’t plug in the wires if it’s not active. I have to have my husband place these pads on me. So I go get him to hook me up and then I go lay down, get comfortable, and ONLY THEN do I plug the wire into the device.

Grocery Store Questions.

First question: Bananas. Why are bananas so fucking cheap? I get onto my husband when he lets bananas spoil. I did this the other day and he apologized and said he shouldn’t have put them on the grocery list. Then, I obviously felt bad, and pointed out that bananas are fucking cheap and I’m the one who let a whole two containers of strawberries spoil which are not cheap.

OK, so I get why other produce is expensive. So the comparison isn’t most of the question. The questions is — how are these bananas so fucking cheap? We don’t even grow these thing here! The strawberries are coming from inside the house — the bananas sure aint! And there are a SHIT TON of bananas everywhere too! Is that why they’re cheap? Is it child labor? Slavery? What about the fuel to get them over here? And they spoil and bruise so easily too — these things should cost a lot of money! What’s the deal?

Second question: toothpaste. I needed toothpaste. Apparently, they don’t sell Aquafresh at Publix anymore. This is horrible. I’ve used that toothpaste forever. But I’m not about to start making special trips for toothpaste so I accept my fate. There were three brands. Sensodyne, Colgate, and Crest. And like twenty kinds of each brand. Why do we need a whole wall of toothpaste? This is insane.

I went with sensodyne because I do have sensitive teeth. OK, narrowed it down to 20. My teeth are very yellow so how about one of the whitening ones? So I grab one and it doesn’t say what flavor it is or list anything in the ingredients indicating such. You might think they all taste the same, but they DON’T. I used mom’s baking soda toothpaste once and it tasted like death! Oh, they had Arm & Hammer as a brand too but that was right out, obviously. So the only one of the 20 synsodynes that mentioned flavor was “fresh mint.” So I grab it an compare the ingredients to the whitening one. Same damn ingredients. In fact, 1% more of the active ingredient in the mint one! Is this all a scam? These are all the same toothpastes, aren’t they?

I need to research both of these topics but I don’t want to right this second. Thank you for your time

Review: Amazon Rashguard #2

First to catch up from these previous posts:

Review: Amazon Rashguard #1

Review: TomboyX’s Ribbed Swim Sun Shield Crop Top LC – Parasailing

“As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.

“However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like.”

So on to contestant number three…. XAKALAKA Women’s Plus Size Zip-Front Multicolor Striped Long Sleeve Tankini Rashguard Top Size 3X Color: 09 Tropic Flo for $32.99

The first question you may ask is, “Mrs C, why would you get this old lady pattern and not the starry sky or the blue gradient?” And to that I say, what the fuck? Did they not have those when I ordered? ‘Cause those patterns are way better. Do I send this back for one of those? What the fuck did I do? I’m seriously considering replacing it for one of those. Why did I order this Golden Girls pattern? Anyway, it’s not about the pattern. Let’s look past that.

So even if I do exchange the pattern, I’d totally keep it. It’s not the same quality as the TomboyX. However it’s also half the retail price and made in Asia. And it has some features I really like. First, the neck hole isn’t trying to choke me. Thank you, neck hole! This doesn’t zip from top to bottom, but the zipper is about 2/3 of the length. I tried it unzipped a bit and it really didn’t make a difference for better or for worse. This one also has fabric that lays under the zipper to protect your skin so when it’s unzipped, that shows rather than more skin. I think it’s a good feature though. So unzipping this one would just be for comfort, not style.

This rashguard is also full length which might make it a go-to if the cropped ones ride up a lot while swimming. It has ruched sides too. That’s a nifty little detail that makes it cute and adjustable. Just tighten up the strings to make it a little shorter if you have a short torso. But the BEST feature: This is the only rashguard so far with cups. Is it going to support big boobs? Not really. It’s gonna try, but I wouldn’t count on it. The support is only on the front panels, it doesn’t go all the way around. But it has cup pads! They’re very large and oddly shaped pads. I have no idea why they aren’t rounded, but they’re there. Do you know what that means? NO NIPPLES! Yes, it’s the only one of our three contenders to hide pointy nipples.

So full belly coverage and full nipple coverage. This might be the go-to for public appearances. I do like the quality of the TomboyX better. And I feel that since the support in that one wraps all the way around you, it would be more practical if you’re doing physical activities. But for a cheap fast fashion rashguard on Amazon — 5 stars.

I like it so much that I’m sending Amazon #1 back. I just don’t need this many rashguards. It is the cutest as far as pattern and general look goes. I admit that. It’s cute. However, the quality is so very lacking in that one. I just don’t see myself choosing it over this one or the TomboyX ones.

Seriously though, should I send it back for the blue gradient? Do I look like I should be hanging out with Blanche by the pool?

Review: TomboyX’s Ribbed Swim Sun Shield Crop Top LC – Parasailing

First, to catch up from last post: “Review: Amazon Rashguard #1”:

“As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.

However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like.”

OK! On to today’s contestant: TomboyX. This is their Ribbed Swim Sun Shield Crop Top LC – Parasailing. Why does it say Parasailing? No idea. This retails for $69 and I paid just over $40.

First, lets talk about the price and TomboyX. This is going to be a lot more expensive than the Amazon contestants. Fact. Why? Well, most stuff on amazon is fast fashion and probably made by people making barely above slave wages. TomboyX is a company whose corporate office is mostly made up of (80%) women and (63%) LGBTQ. They are certified for sustainability and their factories are certified with the Fair Labor Association. Even the plastic zipper bags your stuff comes in is biodegradable. So this is NOT fast fashion. These are made to actually last. Also, they’re a bit of a niche company. All of their stuff is multi-sex. Women, Men, Trans — it’s all for everyone. They even have one cup bras for mastectomy patients. I actually, really like this company and I have a few of their products. So with that out of the way…

I love this! OK, first, it’s not as cute as Amazon #1 was:

I think there are a few reasons for that. One, it doesn’t have a cute summery pattern. Two, the neck line. Amazon #1 would have looked the same zipped up, but I don’t have to zip it all the way up and I won’t. This one, you have no choice. It’d be so much cuter with a V neck or something. HOWEVER, this is a rashguard. They’re all tight against the neck like this for sun protection. Also, most of the TomboyX customer base doesn’t want to show off the boobies. That’s the only downsides.

The upsides: I love this fabric! It’s so soft. It actually just looks like a cropped top. I tried it on with jeans and I was like “I could go to the store in this.” It also has a built in breast support! So no need to wear something under it like Amazon #1. It’s just a mesh tank, but it helps a bit. There’s gonna be nipples but not so drastic as if you had nothing.

I was very afraid that it would be too cropped for me. However, I’m wearing it in the picture with some very high-waisted bottoms. There’s actually a good 2-3 inch overlap between the bottoms and the top. I will note that the bottoms that “match” this on the site are not as high-waisted as the ones you see me wearing. The mesh lining on this top is a really good fit for me. The outer fabric is nice and loose. I sized up. I usually wear a 2X in womens tops and a 42DDD bra. I ordered this in a 3X. (Oh, did I mention the size inclusivity of TomboyX? I love them! This top goes up to a 4X).

And the best part? THUMB HOLES! That’s right. If I gotta wear long sleeves when it’s 100 degrees outside, at least give me some fun thumb holes.

So I mentioned in the last review that I wouldn’t wear the amazon one for any hard-core purposes. At least not in the size I bought it in. I wouldn’t trust it not to be shifting all over the place and suffering from “wardrobe malfunctions.” I’d wear this thing out on a jetski or bouncing on a float dragged behind a boat. The mesh under top makes it feel secure. Though I do wish the under layer was attached at more than just the shoulders. You almost have to put on the mesh top and then the over top.

So yeah, not only am I keeping it. So far it is my favorite. I even ordered the other one that’s on sale! It’s a different material and has a more fun print. I think these are going to be my main summer pool wear.

Peek-A-Boo

My tattoo got to make its first appearance as a peek-a-boo today. The weather was a gorgeous 73 degrees so short sleeves were called for. I was so excited, I even took a picture before work:

Then, on my way into work I hopped in the elevator. Don’t judge me! I have a sprained ankle still. Anyway, a coworker hopped on with me. She said “I love your tattoo! Is that a cat!?” I showed her. She LOVED IT. So we talked for like 30 minutes about tattoos and cats. I texted her the artists info because she’s looking for a good artist as she unhappy with her current tattoo (I thought it looked great).

But yeah — I was internally squealing with glee!

First hour out and someone loves it. Maybe even made a new work friend!

Review: Amazon Rashguard #1

As you know, I’m currently working on a tattoo sleeve that needs sun protection. I spend a decent amount of time in the sun in the summer. I like to float around in my pool with my friends for a long time. If we go to the beach, I’m going to spend a few hours sitting in a chair with the waves washing over my feet. I tan easily. I’m also not great about reapplying my sunscreen. I make sure to get a solid coat on before I go out, but I’m not great at reapplying. Combine that with my olive skin and I get pretty tan.

However, now that I’m investing a lot of money in a full color tattoo sleeve, I gotta protect it. It’s not even finished, so I can’t risk fading half of it before the rest even gets done. So I’m ordering a bunch of rashguards to try out. I’ve got three on order to see what I like. TomboyX has two on clearance so I ordered one of theirs. It looks great online, but I’m afraid it’s just going to be too cropped. So I picked up two from Amazon to see if I’m going to want to keep it (and maybe order the other color). This review is for our first contestant:

This is the “Hanna Nikole Women’s Plus Size Rashguard 3 Pieces Athletic Bathing Suit Zipper UPF 50+ Surfing Swimwear” Size 20 in “wave pattern.”

I’m keeping it. The value is insane. It’s three pieces for $37.99 so that works out to just over $12 per piece. Around my pool, I probably won’t wear the tank under it, but for a party or the beach, I will. I also don’t find it very comfortable zipped all the way up. I do, however, like it at a 3/4 zip. The material is light and loose enough that I don’t think I’ll despise it in the hot sun. I think the style is reasonably flattering as well. Let’s break down the pieces:

THE SHORTS
The shorts aren’t great. I wouldn’t expect to get heavy use out of them, but they’re fine for a weekend trip. I don’t like that they aren’t lined and the material feels cheap. The coverage and look is good though. They are high waisted, coming up to my belly button. Size is spot on for the shorts. I wear a 18 or 20 in pants (depending on the cut. I have a narrow waist but huge thighs) and these are a good not tight fit. If I was going to be doing something active like surfing or paddle boarding, I’d want them to be tighter because, as I said, they aren’t lined. I’m going to sub these out for some lined high-quality bikini bottoms. However, I’m keeping the shorts for a backup if I need to change into a dry bottom. I’ll use them, just not much. For the price though, come on. The bikini bottoms I’m going to sub them for cost more than this entire three piece. So for the price: They’re good.

THE TANK
The tank is not for someone with big breasts. I wear a 42DDD bra. Again, I ordered this set in a 20. The tank is small. It’s workable, especially just as an underpiece. But I would not be comfortable wearing it alone. The size does not fit with the shorts and shirt at all — unless you have no chest. It’s far too small. That said, the coverage is good. No cleavage showing. I love that it has a built in wireless bra with sewn in cups. No body likes removable cups. However, I’d say this is made for someone closer to a B cup. I’d like it a lot if it was the right size. I do think I will wear it under the rashguard to the beach or when more people are visiting the pool. The rashguard doesn’t have any support or padding to hide pointy nipples, if you know what I mean.

THE RASHGUARD:
So this is what I consider myself paying for. The other two pieces were just freebies, as far as I’m concerned. The material is thin. Not see-through, but thinner than a normal swimsuit. I usually wear a 2x in shirts. Again, this is a size 20. It’s pretty loose. I could definitely size down if I wanted something more fitted. I was worried the sleeves would be too tight, as I have very fat arms. They’re good though! I don’t like how tight it feels on my neck when fully zipped. I think it’s pretty cute partially unzipped though. The thin material will require you to wear something under it for support and coverage of nipples. The full length zipper also has a little fabric fold over the bottom so you won’t be snagging it on things.

CONCLUSION:
Worth the price. But also, you get what you pay for. I’m a heavy user of swim clothes, so I do not anticipate this lasting more than a season. I plan to rotate it out with others during the season as well. The quality isn’t great, but better than I’d expect for this price. It also looks really good. Like if you need this for a weekend or a cruise or the three times you plan to swim this summer, it’ll be fine. You’ll look great.

As far as size goes, I could certainly go down a size on the shirt and shorts if I wanted a more fitted look/feel. (Well, maybe not the thigh hole in the shorts. I have huge thighs). The tank is just really out of proportion with the other two pieces. I’d need at least a size up in it, maybe two.

I’m keeping it. The price is crazy good. It looks cute. Even if I only wear the rash guard a few times, I’m going to get my moneys worth. I really like the print too.

Coming up soon we have the TomboyX rashguard which has a built in bra AND thumb holes. Yeah, thumb holes! But it doesn’t zip and it’s cropped. So depending on how short that crop is, I’m afraid it might be a no go. We also have Amazon #2. It’s partial zip and should have breast pads in it and cinched sides.

Cows and Boobs. But not Cow Boobs, those would be udders.

So the installation where I work is like a little city. A little city with a lot of land. I guess they bought up a shit ton of land for future growth. I’m sure a lot of it is sound barrier as well. They leave a lot of it forested, but there’s also a lot of pasture. They lease this pasture out to farmers for their cows to graze. The installation gets free land upkeep (and actually, a very small income); farmers get affordable grazing pasture. Win win. But here’s the thing: where are the barns?

I’ve never seen any barns. Just cows. As the installation closed early on Friday due to tornado threats, I worried about the cows. Where do the cows go? Shouldn’t they have somewhere to go to protect them from the elements? What if they get cold? We all saw Twister and the flying cows. So seriously, are these cows OK? There’s no farm infrastructure — just a bunch of cows in a pasture. Maybe the occasional guard Donkey. Do they have enough food? I’m worried about these cows just being abandoned to fend for themselves until butcher time.

I don’t have an answer. I did email the people who lease the land to the farmers to inquire though. ‘Cause inquiring minds want to know, OK? Cows aren’t wild — they’re like Buffalo, right? Do they just stay outside all the time? Where do they sleep? How do they stay safe in storms?

Also. Boobs. Not related to cows. Next subject. Now that I actually have boobs, I have big boob problems. Not that I mind at all, I find it funny. Like the fact that when I take off my bra, I find shit in there. Like peanut skins and shit. It just falls in there. And I’m fat — so like finding that chocolate has melted into your bra is not cool.

Anyway, new big boob problem: I can’t see my belt buckle. It’s only a problem with one of my belts that has a fiddly buckle, but like I can’t see it. When we did bungee fitness, I couldn’t get myself out of the harness because I couldn’t see it to undo it. My boobs were in the way. So that’s a thing. Still love them, though!

Sleeve Tattoo Session #2

Friday, I had my second tattoo session on my sleeve. Poor Jack has only been a head since November. Now he has his body and his precious bowtie!

As you can see by the outline (yeah, that’s tattooed), we bit off more than we could chew. But to her credit, my artist pursued a lot longer than she wanted to to get the pumpkins done. Apparently, after 3 or 4 hours, your skin starts to turn too red and my artist doesn’t like to go longer than that. That sucks because I have to drive to Nashville and I’d happily sit for as long as she’d tattoo for. So I’m a bit disappointed that we won’t be able to work behind his head until Fall. In April, we’re going to finish up what we outlined — a few more leaves and his tail and then break for summer. She doesn’t want to do more than that so he looks like a completed piece over the summer.

It was a bit of an awkward session. There was miscommunication on what I wanted, apparently. I’m not sure how it happened as on my tattoo page that I originally sent (click here to see our communications page), I stated that I wanted a half to 3/4 length sleeve. Maybe that means different things to different people? But she wasn’t aware I wanted it to wrap around my arm and she didn’t know I wanted it past my elbow and up onto my shoulder. I think she thought I was “adding on” to my original request and she wasn’t happy about it because she wants to make one big cohesive piece and not something that just keeps getting added onto.

So I felt bad ’cause she seemed irritated. But I assumed “sleeve” meant it wrapped around? And I said between half and 3/4 so isn’t 3/4 below your elbow? I get the shoulder thing — I guess I never spelled that out, or if I did, it didn’t hit. But I love a raglan sleeve. I also don’t like how shoulder/sleeve tattoos just round off at the shoulder. I’d like it to be more like a raglan sleeve. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE when tattoos have a little peekaboo on the neck line. Like just a few swirls showing under your shirt making people wonder what’s there. I’ve seen this a few times and it’s always been part of the visual in my mind. I’m not getting tattoo greedy, but I don’t think she knew that, I guess?

We figured it out. We’re going to add pumpkin vines with some squash blossoms below the elbow. As far as the wrap around, she says just leaves will look bad. So I need to do something else inside the arm. She suggested his favorite toy, but 1 — this isn’t ALL about Jack. And 2, his favorite toy was a banana. So not on theme there. So, I don’t know what the fuck’s going to happen there. I’m almost playing with maybe it shouldn’t wrap and close inside? I don’t know. I always figured it would but I don’t like the idea of more stuff being inside the tattoo. But we played with the idea of more fall stuff — maybe more pumpkins? But how would that work? Anyway, we can do a shit ton more on the tattoo before we figure that out. We got the lower part and the shoulder part. We can do those first.

I also wasn’t aware of the 4 hour “limit” thing. I get that my skin was discoloring but like I kinda wanted to ask if we could do the tail. But she had already cursed at my tattoo three times in frustration. Combine that with the awkward misunderstanding and I was just like OK, whatever. Plus she said she had to do some drawings for the next day. So it was a frustrating appointment. I’m worried that she’s not enthused about what I want vs what she originally envisioned. Yall know how anxious I get!

All that said, we got some great shit done. Look at those pumpkins! And I love the leaf towards my back with all the different colors. Her work is stunning. There’s a lot of oranges – I really wanna get some more reds in there. There will be plenty of green as this is her current sketch of where we’re going:

NOTE: Art belongs to Devon Greig

So. I’m very anxious because the appointment didn’t go great. However, I’m in love with the tattoo. It over doubled in size and I love it! Its big and impactful and gorgeous. It’s going to show in all my short sleeve tops this summer and I’m just going to have to buy more professional tank tops. It has to happen. I never thought I could have an arm tattoo — much less such gorgeous work! I love him.

I’ve also already jumped the shark and ordered some rash guards for summer. Can’t have it fading before it’s even finished!