Category: Curiosities

Tattoo Sleeve Session 4

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 3 Comments on Tattoo Sleeve Session 4

So the pool cover was put on yesterday. This perfectly coincided with my first tattoo appointment of the off season. I have three appointments booked right now. Yesterday, November, and December. Yesterday we designed the top and got it stenciled, traced, and started. We hope to be able to finish the coloring in in the next two long sessions. I made a deal with my husband that I wouldn’t schedule any new appointments in exchange for letting me build the deck this summer. When I restore my savings from the deck cost, I can schedule more appointments to finish the tattoo. It will have more to beef up the back of my arm and go on down my forearm as well. It’s a great motivation to spend less!

We started texting back and forth Friday night about the design. I know this is how every tattoo artist does it. You schedule your appointment a year in advance but they don’t sketch it until the night before which is insanely stressful. She sent me this:

I had notes. Why re the berries so big? They’re as big as Jack’s eyes! Bigger, actually! I looked down at my arm and his eyes are pretty big. But she said that if we went any smaller they wouldn’t read as berries. Also a red rose? *wretching noises* Can you get more stereotypical tattoo? In her defense, I get where she got it though. The berries were from my wedding bouquet as are some of the flowers that will make an appearance below the elbow. My bouquet had red and orange roses in it. Red roses are romantic. That is the only sense that I like them in – pure love. When my husband gives me red roses, it’s romantic. That’s the only time I should ever see red roses (my favorite roses are actually the orange ones with a pink border).

So she decides to just redo the front completely. She nailed the back though. Look at those swirly vines!

I’m also real worried about that pumpkin lid there (Jack O Lantern lid). Even after I went and sacrificed one of my porch pumpkins to show her want I meant by Jack O Lantern Lid.

But I’m gonna have to trust her on that. She told me to trust her so fine. She’s got an art degree and way too many years of tattooing under her belt. Still, now we’re in the evening before my tattoo and don’t have a front! So she’s like well what flowers DO you like? Fuck. So I’m frantically googling “Fall flowers” over here and sending her pictures and names.

Well, the red poppies are from momma. She loved red poppies. She had already loved them, but then we went to Italy and she saw the fields of wild poppies in person. It was a memory and a connection and I loved to paint her poppies or give her poppies. Once, I even pulled over on the side of the road and picked a huge handfuls of wild poppies for her. The city had seeded them in the median as an alternative to mowing grass.

So red poppies. Who doesn’t love a fucking dahlia? K and I have even discussed getting matching dahlia tattoos in different colors. Fucking beautiful flowers. Oh and I love those yellow pompoms. Craspedia. AKA “Drumstick” or “Billy Button” flowers. I love when there’s like 3 tall ones in a mixed arrangement. I have some on my counter right now! So I’m just throwing flowers at her. Here’s some cosmos (I was actually thinking of reddish brown “chocolate cosmos”). However, cosmos come in a variety of colors so I was like hey, if you want to add colors, here. I mean the tattoo is looking very brown as it stands.

Then I waited anxiously. Very anxiously. Had I made her mad? WHAT’S HAPPENING?

Then she sends this:

First, note all the watermarks. Dude, I’ve paid you a ton of money. I have an appointment in like 15 hours. I’m not gonna steal your work. BUT

I kinda love it. Would I have EVER said put blue flowers in it? Fuck no. But I like them. It’s a very nice pop of color and contrast. And look at momma’s poppies and my yellow pompoms! She does have a good eye for color. We had a little more back and forth about the pumpkin lid. She smoothed it out a lot. But I’m just gonna have to trust.

I’m the one who wanted a Jack O Lantern lid. One, I’m not a super big flower person. Well, I mean I actually love flowers. Momma was an AVID gardener and we went to the botanical gardens almost weekly growing up. But like – pumpkins. I’m a pumpkin person. And I LOVE the 2 pumpkins she did. But they’re not hugely prominent. They’re kinda small. Like I need more pumpkin. So I thought — Jack O Lantern. I fucking love Halloween and Fall and carving pumpkins. But how can we put a Jack O Lantern in this gorgeous very artistic tattoo without it look cheesy? Then it hit me — Jack O Lantern LID. A nod to Jack O Lanterns. I AM A GENIUS. Anyway, we’ll see how she executes it. She reminds me that these pictures are just references. OK.

Saturday morning I wake up bright and early so I can eat before I head out. She’s two hours away and it’ll be past dinner time before I get home. Here’s the Saturday morning “before” shot. Note: I’ve bought two strapless bras for the healing process. We’re going hard with three months back to back, so it’ll need 3 months of no bra strap.

I watched “6 Underground” on Netflix while she worked. It was a good movie. I love Ryan Reynolds. While she was making the stencils she said we’d have to trace them out this time. Now, I did hate being a coloring book last time she did that. However, I had already decided I’d let her choose how to do it since these appointments are so close together. She was piecing together MULTIPLE stencils to follow my body contours. Plus doing some hand drawing where they connect. So she said this is just too much to do multiple times. Yeah, OK. So first she tattooed the stencils on:

Originally, there wasn’t supposed to be so much on my chest. Of course she disagreed and that this was always the case. I have photo evidence that it was not, but I aint picking fights with my artist. I actually like it. I despise that sleeves usually cut off at the shoulder where I call “the Barbie seam”. Like, if you have a cybernetic arm or a prosthetic, that shits gonna include your shoulder joint. So should your sleeve. So after studying the stencil for a long time… fuck it, let’s do it.

The outlining took ages. So we didn’t get as much coloring in done as I expected. Jack got his catholic halo (not that that’s the intention LOL — I just wanted a frame around him so he would really POP). It is solid green, but in the photos it looks very mottled. She was REALLY packing in the color (as she should), and my skin was angry. She commented on how pissed my skin was and that if it heals patchy, we might have to go over it again. I’m not worried. She also colored two more leaves and she did two of the blue cosmos. I kinda love these cosmos! She wants to go back and do more detail on the frame around Jack, but I’m not positive I want it.

So for reference, here it is this morning from front and back so you can see where it falls on my body:

The bats have not been abandoned, but they will not be stenciled. They will be hand placed. Also probably more on my back now and at least one that peeps up on my neck.

I’m THRILLED with where this is going. I’m in love with it. I got a little anxious when I showed husband. There was a lot of miscommunication about me have THREE appointments already scheduled (BEFORE the deck was ever started). Also that it would go further down my arm (was always the intention. In fact, it was originally suppose to wrap around my arm too). And I think the bats on the neck scares him. But like, they make amazing tattoo makeup now. The only time I’d ever need t cover it up would be like court or an interview. Hell, I can pop a zit cover over a small bat. It’s fine. His words were “It’s a lot.”

So that brought me down. But I get it. It IS a lot. Especially when 2 years ago I didn’t have any tattoos. Now I’m like, INK ME. But yall know me, I like to do it right. And to me, asymmetry is gorgeous in tattoos. And I love sleeves. I don’t like the patchwork look of tattoos placed wherever there is space (though, some people love that and I do think those sticker sleeves are adorable. Lets all just be happy with our ink).

I even took this picture to show Devon (though I did not). It’s all the work tank tops I bought this year:

Listen, I still kinda hate my big fat arms. BUT after that surgery, they don’t jiggle and sag so much. And I could have NEVER done something like this before. And I have LOVED this tattoo for almost a year now (yes, his face is a year healed in these pictures). I haven’t regretted it for one second. It took a part of me I hated and made it something I wanna show off. I keep telling people, I’m drawing your attention away from my bald spots to my cleavage and tattoos.

And I don’t like people, but damn I love all the comments people make about it. Do I want to see photos of your cat? I like cats. “Did you see her bad ass tattoo?” Heh. This is art. ON ME. On my ugly body. This and the tummy tuck and boobs were like the best decisions ever.

If I was willing to wear a wig and do my makeup, this would BY FAR be my hottest era.

My mother-in-law is gonna LOVE IT.

That Time Someone Tried to Buy a Motorcycle With My Credit Card

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments on That Time Someone Tried to Buy a Motorcycle With My Credit Card

Yall get a snack. It’s story time. This all started on Wednesday while I was at work. I got this alert on my phone:

So someone was trying to use my credit card to spend $9,000.00. Well, I caught the alert in time to cancel the transaction (notice it says if I/they try again, it will approve).

Welp. I’m nosy and into drama and like the “tea” as K2 would say. So I look up where my card is being used. I call up Battle Creek Powersports. I ask if anyone is there who just had a card declined for that amount. Yep. Are they still there? Yep. Well, that’s not their credit card. Que calling of the cops.

NOTE: Over the last few days, I’ve collected more info so I will be filling in some events that happened that I only just found out about today. So if you didn’t hear this in the original story, that’s why.

So the manager put the phone down on the desk to call the cops. I can still hear everything in the background. So after my card was declined, he used another. He was reading the numbers out to the cashier because their internet was down. She was using her cellphone to run the transaction. So she never saw the cards to find this suspicious. Also, apparently they were in his cellphone wallet, so wouldn’t have looked suspicious anyway. That card went through. So he loaded up his new dirt bike in a Uhaul van. The only reason he was still there, was that he was pushing his luck. He and his accomplice were discussing the purchase of another bike. However, now the store was up to their conniving. They were distracting them until the police could get there. But the guys got suspicious and fled with their new stolen bike.

I heard all this going on through the phone. She came back and I was like — did they just steal a bike from you? Yep. But they had someone hop on a bike and chase after them and we were hopeful that between that and the police already in route, this would be caught and dealt with. How exciting — I just triggered a police chase! What an interesting day at work! Yeah, they didn’t catch them.

The manger has been super nice to deal with. She’s just so thankful that I called them. Apparently, it would be a few days before they would ever find out it was fraud. By then everything would be long gone and no one gets arrested. Also, dirt bikes don’t require registration. So it’s a nifty high price item to steal. I asked her why they wouldn’t be suspicious of someone chunking a whole ass motorcycle on a credit card. She said that people do it to get the credit card benefits or miles and then pay it off. That’s fair. She sent me his license to see if I recognized it, I do not:

I get a call from the cops the next day. They did not catch the thieves. He was excited that I had a 256 area code though because the guy used a Huntsville address. Did I recognize it? Yeah. That’s MY address. He said this happens in nice neighborhoods all the time. People steal cards out of the mailboxes. Well, I don’t live in a neighborho… Oh damn, we do look rich as fuck by our house though. I was just shocked that they knew my card could AFFORD a motorcycle. I looked through my records and there were no “test” charges. How did they know my address and info and that I had such a high limit?

I have since talked to the bank and a new card was not mailed out. So they got my info some other way. Not a simple mailbox thief. And of course the license and everything is fake so they have no leads.

Then Friday I get this:

So they got caught doing the scam again at Polaris. Well, the driver got caught. Mr “Nolan Adams” fled on foot. I thought that was the end. What a wild thing to happen. Police chases and fraud and I’m all up in it! Then today, I get a letter in the mail for Mr Nolan Adams congratulating him on his new Kawasaki purchase. It includes the model and stuff so I google it. Looks like he got one of these:

Nice ride, bro. Another $10k bike. So I texted the manager and she called me. We’re both kinda not involved anymore but highly invested in this motherfucker getting caught. She fills in a lot of gaps. And sends me this news article and picture of the guy from the Polaris dealership — same guy as the license picture.

So are these guys just going around with a bunch of spoofed credit cards buying dirt bikes? It would seem so. They don’t even think it’s a real Uhaul van. She said that as soon as I called her and informed them of the scam, they informed all the other dealerships. One of them, Chase Motorsports, had actually turned the guys away because he was suspicious and told them they couldn’t buy it on a credit card.

So Polaris had heard about these guys through the grape vine of dealerships and called the cops. Who then arrested the driver, but Mr Adams ran. And get this, there was a brand new Yamaha in the van. Yamaha didn’t even know they got scammed. I doubt Kawasaki knows either.

So the manager tells me that this week she got a call from the guy whose credit card did work at their business freaking out about the transaction. He lives only like 40 minutes from me. And the dealership is an hour and half from here. And the driver is about 40 minutes away. So it seems a bit local to me… She’s going to give the other guy my info and see if we can compare notes to see if we’ve used our cards at the same place at some point. Tomorrow I’m going to call the police and offer to send them my shiny new Kawasaki owner info. I guess I’m going to start getting a lot of dirt bike mail now…

So we know this jackass has fraudulently purchased, at minimum, three shiny new dirt bikes. We’re going to keep each other in the loop and try to do some tracking for the police. Apparently, if I hadn’t have called them on a whim — none of this would have come to light until THIS week when the other guy called to see what the hell he was charged for! Even then, they wouldn’t have been able to track all the purchases back to the same guys and Polaris wouldn’t have stopped them either. Because no one would have know there was anyone doing this — they’d have all been isolated incidents. We can only tie Battlecreek, Chase Motorsports, and Polaris because of my call. Yamaha was just in the van when they were arrested, and I’m holding the Kawasaki info.

What the fuck? Credit card companies have no incentive to fix this. They only care about protecting themselves and then card holders. Not catching thieves. So this manager I called, has to pay back the money to Visa for the fraudulent charge. They just have to eat it. Visa doesn’t care.

I care though. Can’t wait to talk to my fellow stolen card brother! Does he use the same gas stations? Or eat at Another Broken Egg a lot? I wonder if there is somewhere we can pinpoint where we both used our cards…

Review: LotFancy RFID Blocking Sleeves

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments on Review: LotFancy RFID Blocking Sleeves

My credit card information was recently stolen. That’s gonna be its own post because it was fucking amazing. So new credit card. This coincided with a new debit card as well. Both have NFC (near field communication) technology. Also known as “contactless payment” or “tap to pay.” So I used it for the first time at the gas pump. I was a bit bothered that I didn’t even ask me for my zip code to authorize the transaction. So I decided I needed some RFID/NFC blocking card covers since my wallet is not RFID blocking.

First, I will say that I did research and NFC is the safest technology we have right now to make payments. Either via the card or the phone. Unlike other methods, your card number and name are not transferred. Only a unique encrypted code is. This code changes every time so it’d be pretty hard to spoof. My card was spoofed. I don’t know if they got it online somehow or skimmed it somewhere, but they had a physical copy of my credit card. Swiping a card is the easiest to steal/copy method. People put skimmers on gas pumps and ATMs and steal your card info and pin. Easy peasy. This can also be done with a chip card but it’s much more difficult and therefore unlikely due to the chips encryption. With NFC, you don’t insert your card so they can’t copy it at the point of sell system. So now NFC is the even more secure version. Therefore, I am willing to embrace this technology.

The most powerful NFC is only going to be a few inches using a magnetic field. We’re talking just barely over 1.5 inches (4 cm) on a credit card reader. RFID can be hundreds of meters when it’s used for inventory tracking since it uses radio waves. So even with that tiny range on NFC – I’m uncomfortable. It’s still too close for comfort for me. Either way, they are easy to block. Just need some metal. Nothing fancy. You could totally make your card a little tinfoil hat if you wanted and be completely safe. I chose to order ready-made sleeves. I saw they had cute ones and settled on the LotFancy slips. Or, as Amazon calls them: “LotFancy RFID Blocking Sleeves (19 Pack, 14 Credit Card Sleeves + 5 Passport Sleeves) for Identity Theft Protection, Designed with Cassette Pattern, Smart Slim Design fits Wallet/Purse” (click for link).

As you can already see, they are adorable! There’s 5 passport sleeves and 14 credit card sleeves. They look like old VCR tapes and audio cassette tapes. Ah the good old days. Why have a bunch of grey or navy blue sleeves when you can have THESE? Come on!

Now I will say, I tested them. I figured they would work fine. It’s not like this is advanced technology. However, these are very affordable and who’s to say someone didn’t just print out some card stock and send it out? So first thing I did was test it at the gas pump. I had my card in the sleeve and rubbed it all over the reader. Nothing. So yeah, they work!

I’d give them 5 stars if it weren’t for one thing. In a regular wallet, they are a tight fit. It is actually easier to just slide the card out of the sleeve in your wallet than to pull it out in the sleeve. So that’s what I’ve been doing. I just leave the sleeve in my wallet and pull out the card, then carefully return it to the sleeve. So 4.5 stars from me. Though honestly, I don’t see how this could possibly be avoided. Any material is going to add some bulk to the card. Therefore, I imagine any slip would be just as tight in your wallet.

For now, I’m going to enjoy the peace of mind of safety and the new pops of color in my wallet! I put them over my cards and then realized your passport card actually says to store it in a sleeve on the card. So yeah, it went in one too.

Added bonus. Today we were in a training talking about safety and the instructor asked who had their credit cards in RFID blocking sleeves. Only two of us raised our hands. I even proved it and showed how cute mine are. Win.

Review: “Bug Bite Thing”

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Review: “Bug Bite Thing”

This is a review for the “Bug Bite Thing.” Or, as Amazon calls it, the “BUG BITE THING Suction Tool, Poison Remover – Bug Bites and Bee/Wasp Stings, Natural Insect Bite Relief, Chemical Free” (Click here).

Haha. You got me! Mosquitos treat me like free money. No, not “prime rib.” Even the vegans are going out of their way to bite me. So I’ll try anything. I get big welts that itch for days. So I saw this thing has so many great reviews and I buy it immediately.

Well, last night there was a mosquito in my house. He got me THREE times. Twice on my arm and on my forehead. I remember the “Bug Bite Thing” and immediately give it a try. I am very impressed that it actually has so much suction power.

You know what happens when you suck on someone’s skin for too long? It’s called a hickey. I know this. We all know this. How did this not occur to me? Now THERE’S A HICKEY WITH A BUG BITE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY GOD DAMNED FOREHEAD.

I’m so embarrassed. I showed my husband this morning and told him how embarrassed I was. HE LAUGHED AT ME. He told me I did it to myself. And you know what? I did. And that makes it worse.

Good one, Amazon. you got me! Hilarious! You win.

On this day, three years ago…

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on On this day, three years ago…

The below Facebook post was in my memories for today. 2020 was a dark time, y’all. And this was BEFORE mom died. Fuck.

What’s funny is, I still remember being robbed in Animal Crossing, cause that cut deep. That was a place of happy innocent retreat for everyone. So getting robbed on fucking Animal Crossing of ALL THINGS. For fucks sake. How low can people be? You gonna rob people on a kids game when they’re giving you free shit. I’m still bitter about it. This is why I hate people, yall. People are bad.

But I actually forgot about the jaw thing. After the car wreck that wrecked my brain, my jaw would sometimes make a piercingly loud noise when I opened my mouth wide. It bothered husband. I think just because it was so jarring. At some point though, it appears to have stopped!

We never “fixed” the jaw issue, for the record. The physical therapist determined that it wasn’t anything harmful, just annoying. Probably cartilage built up funny when I hurt it in the accident. He said it might wear down and stop. Looks like he was right. Can’t remember the last time it made that noise. (*Que me opening my mouth wide while I type*) Neisen Physical Therapy was awesome. Wish I could afford to go get dry needling and neck work done on the regular. My neck has regressed a lot since therapy.

~~~ START: FACEBOOK POST – AUGUST 05, 2020 ~~~

I’m crying because I got robbed in animal Crossing. I let people in to have my saved up DIY recipes. For free. Someone took all my fossils and harvested the money trees I had around my town square. And yes, everyone agrees it’s my fault. But I didn’t expect to get fleeced in a fucking ANIMAL CROSSING GAME when I was being generous. And I have duplicates of almost all the fossils anyway, had they asked, I’d have given them full dinosaurs.

OK, so I didn’t cry over Animal Crossing. Not really. It’s literally the straw that broke the camels back. The tiniest most insignificant thing that just broke the levy.

There’s just too much going on. I’ve got an interview tomorrow which is awesome, right? But The last phone interview I didn’t get. It’s like the first interview I’ve done where I didn’t get a job offer. Seriously. So I’m like WTF? Did I lose my interview mojo? I’m freaking out now.

But I feel good about the job prospect but it opens a flood gate of other things: 1) back to work. I’ve been out of work since October and to go back to working 9 hour days and waking up early and being tired all the time and not having time to take care of things again? Ugh. And how will it affect my head aches? We don’t know.

Speaking of headaches, now when I can’t figure something out, I don’t know if it’s brain damage or normal. Seriously. I have to ask Husband sometimes. Like why can’t I grasp this? Is this normal?

And the ENT thinks I could benefit from more physical therapy. I’m fine with that, I thought physical therapy was working great on my neck and we finally literally THAT last appointment identified the jaw issue from the wreck. The one that causes my jaw to make obnoxiously loud noises every once and a while that bug Husband. LOL. But he decided my progress was too slow and fucking gave up on me. Can’t trust any body.

Not your lawyer either. Shitty ass lawyer. Now we’re in a lawsuit just to try to recover my lost wages — not even damages or anything. And not even the fact that i lost my job. We’re only asking for what I was due till May when the doctor said I should try work part time.

And never trust a fucking company. I’ve told so many people that and then I fell in love with Boecore. And I trusted them. And I love working for my friend, F. And they were awesome for a few months. They told me ‘oh we’ll keep you on as long as you’re making progress” — then all the sudden with NO WARNING, I get a “we’re laying you off next week” phone call. What the fuck was that? You couldn’t have told me a month ago? Some warning would be nice.

But at Least I have Husband’s insurance to fall back on. But then now there’s a deductible that has to be met. Which is why I can’t afford to go back to physical therapy. I need to go to the gastroenterologist too but I can’t afford that either. I can’t afford shit. I was upset and lonely the other day missing my fair-weather friends and Mexican food when Husband suggested Chuy’s take out But we really shouldn’t because it’s cheaper to cook.

We’ve been set back huge financially. And we thought we’d get my missed wages back, but we won’t. We were deceived. Now we’re set back on our plan of where we expected to be right now. And I know, Husband assures me we’re treading water and won’t lose the house — but we lost HALF OUR INCOME. We can’t go on forever like this. And this is my house Mine. Mine mine mine mine. I’d see it bulldozed before I thought of someone else living in it. I can’t fathom it! I was here every day it was being built. I designed it. I picked literally every single color and finish and tile in here. I sat in my bedroom and watched the sunset before there was even sheet rock.

My psychiatrist says this is all temporary. And logically I kinda know it is. BUT WHAT IF IT’S NOT? How long will it go on? How long can it go on? I miss people. I miss eating out. I miss having money.

And anyone who dares to think I didn’t earn my pay and this house can come say it straight to my fucking face because I will gladly let off some steam. I went to school for 9 years to get that damn degree. All the while being mocked for being “forever a student” even jokingly by my own family. I’ve built my career for near 15 years. I earned that pay check. Every penny.

Why can’t you trust anyone? Lawyers, employers, insurers, the general public that won’t take vaccines or wear face masks. Why can’t people just be good?

Who steals shit in ANIMAL CROSSING FOR FUCKS SAKE? Are you serious with me?

Well praise Jesus for a napping husband to sob on. He’s sweet and loving and not something I remotely earned. And Jack. I’ll go hug Jack.

~~~ END: FACEBOOK POST – AUGUST 05, 2020 ~~~

Reuse and Recycle

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So I’ve been taking excellent care of my tattoo. Only the best lotions and sunscreens. Long sleeves if I’m swimming. Excellent care.

So it occurred to me, I could actually take care of my face too. Right now, in mid summer, my face doesn’t look terrible. That’s because it seems swimming in the pool helps my complexion. Usually though, I have zits and tons of ingrown hairs. PCOS gives me chin and lip and sideburn hair that has to be shaved daily. Every day. So when there’s a zit or something, there’s never time for it to heal. It’s getting shaved over every single day. I don’t wear makeup daily so this makes me very self conscious.

I’ve also got a secret, I don’t use lotion. Yep (or nope?) I never developed a skin care regimen. I don’t even know where to start. But like, I decided I should try it on my face. So I went through all the subscription box stuff I just tossed in drawers over the years and googled easy facial routines. Now I’m doing a routine. Evening: Wash, Toner, Serum, Lotion. Morning: Wash, Lotion with sunscreen. I’m so fancy! So apparently you need cotton rounds to apply toner. So I bought some. But like, these are ugly. How shall I store this?

Oh yeah. That’s right. I’ve been married over a decade, and I finally have a good use for my old leather condom box. Magnificent. I’m so chuffed with my condom box.

Anyway, I’m making an effort here. Does anyone have any advice for sunscreen lotion? I bought some for $18 and it burns my eyes just like every god damn sunscreen I’ve ever put on my face. The only sunscreen I can use on my face is Sun Bum stick. It’s so solid that it doesn’t move or sweat. It’s on ’til you wipe that shit off. Everything else eventually ends up in my eye corners and burns! Help!

Give it to me.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Give it to me.

I went to the Tattoo Expo with K and her boyfriend. I’ve never been to a tattoo expo. We saw some work by legit amazing artists. Then there was one guy who wanted us to get these tiny flash for $200. Are you kidding me? You want to do 10 minutes of line work for $200? NO.

So today ran from 2:00 – midnight. So I figured it would be better in the evening. So we met up at 6:30. And guess what? We missed the good stuff! WHAT THE FUCK? I’m legit going to complain to the organizers. We couldn’t find a schedule for this show anywhere. Big fancy website, no schedules. I even went the the circus people’s website (sword swallowers and stuff) to see if they had a schedule. Nope. Walk in and the first thing they give me is a lovely laminated schedule hour by hour for the whole weekend. Oh look, we missed the circus by an hour! DAMMIT. I’m legit pissed about this schedule thing.

Anyway, none of us were really shopping for tattoos. There were 200 tattooists there from all over. And they do tattoos right there. But I’ve got plenty of work to do on mine as it is. But I tell ya, I did see a lot of flash I liked.

There was a booth of a lady selling crystals — like carved crystals and jewelry and stuff. So K and I were looking at the necklaces. I asked her what was good for anxiety and she hands me a white one. Like the most boring of the stones. But she says it’s good for anxiety and getting rid of negative energy. She said it basically says fuck off to bad energy. Oooo. Give me. The card said it was good for sleep too. White Howlite.

According to some random internet search: “It can help reduce your levels of stress and anger, and dispel anger that is directed towards you from others. Howlite works by absorbing negative energy and filling the void with calming properties that help you feel at peace.”

Yeah, fuck the colors. Give me that.

At least it matches everything.

That’s some fucked up shit.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on That’s some fucked up shit.

I’m scrolling Facebook and see this Ulta ad:

A vibrator necklace and a Disney bag. Choose a lane, Ulta! Also is that really a vibrator necklace? How small are the batteries? Surely not. I gotta click that shit.

“The iconic necklace that brought together pleasure and self-expression. Crave’s Vesper is designed to enable beautiful experiences in public and in private, both as a statement jewelry and a strong slim external vibrator.”

Benefits

  • Vesper represents beauty, pleasure, and self-expression. As a stainless steel necklace, it enables the wearer to toe the line between subtle and provocative, to create conversations and to openly express their desires
  • With a removable chain, the Vesper easily turns into a slim external clitoral vibe with a rumbly feel and a smooth rounded tip for pinpoint sensation. Not for internal use

That’s some fucked up shit, yall. Don’t be wearing your vibrators out in public. That’s gross. What is wrong with you people? EW.

Sunscreen Ad?

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Sunscreen Ad?

So today, I read a post my my bestie M on Facebook that got me off my ass. He posted about suffering from ADHD. Particularly “Executive Dysfunction.” Which, I know nothing about. So I can only say what he conveyed about it. He said he would go for days without eating actual food because he couldn’t make his body go to the grocery store no matter how much his brain told it to. He said, and I quote: “it presents externally to the outside world as laziness, it’s actually a WAR between mind and body to get done what you know needs to get done.”

Wait, do I have ADHD? Yall. Listen to WHEN I read this. So I posted the other day about having a legitimate panic attack. I did. I’ve had a few. Because I’m insanely stressed. You know what I’ve been most stressed about? Needing to clean up the backyard around the pool. Hear me out.

So it’s surrounded by rocks. Every year I have to rake out all the branches and leaves and bullshit that piles up in there and not rake out all the rocks. I need to pull weeds. I gotta spray poisons. It’s a huge effort. And the weeds will just come back over and over and over and over again. All fucking summer. It’s a nightmare and I HATE IT. Those pool rocks were the WORST decision we made with this house. Seriously the number one worst decision. I cannot emphasize that enough. The rocks are my #1 regret about this house. Need more closets downstairs? No, IT’S THE ROCKS. No lighting in the backyard for night swimming? Did you hear me say ROCKS? It’s the motherfucking rocks.

If the rocks weren’t there, the yard guy could just mow those weeds along with all the other weeds. Easy peasy! And this years there’s kind a bigger onus on it. I got the hammock and stand I wanted for Christmas — awesome. So like, I need to clean up and put it somewhere. Maybe buy some paving stones to get to it (BECAUSE ROCKS). So like I need to do this thing. And I’ve needed to do it for a month and I can’t make myself do it. Not because I’m having fun. No, I’m not having fun. I’m napping on my couch because fuck, I’ve got so much that needs to get done and I’m STRESSING OUT.

So today, I wake up and grab my phone. Good weather today and tomorrow. Oh no. The forecast of rain was the reason I couldn’t spray the poison. So that means today would be a great day to do the thing. So I stayed in bed for almost 3 hours. Just going “no.” Because if I don’t get out of bed I don’t have to make decisions. HA! Logic. And then I read M’s post about the grocery store. And I realized I have caused myself actual physical pain over not getting this done. Fuck it, I’m doing it.

I didn’t even eat breakfast. I got dressed in my overalls. I ate half a chocolate bar and grabbed some poweraids and went outside. Note, I actually went back inside to put sunscreen over my tattoo — important for later.

So MK was actually opening my pool when I got up! Awesome! So this was a bit late to be getting this done. However, it meant I had he and his daughter for conversation as I did it which was super nice. So I pulled the weeds I could get roots on and sprayed the rest. I did not rake up the leaves and stuff, but just doing SOMETHING was massive. So I’m super happy I got that done. Also, note that I took a LOT longer than I expected. Like a few hours. And I only sunscreened the tattoo. So…. there’s a tan line around the tattoo now…

Not sure if that’s a great advertisement for the sunscreen or not. Maybe? I’d still only give it 3 stars out of 5. It’s mineral sunscreen stick so the zinc very much whites out the area — even though it says “sheer.” It was also very thick. So great for a day on the lake. However, I was hoping it would be a good everyday protection this summer. I’m not whiting out my tattoo everyday. So if anyone has good sunscreen suggestions, send them my way. Highest SPF available if possible. I’ll be swimming in long sleeve rashguards but I need something for general daily wear. This ones great for sweaty activities like yard work. Or I guess swimming, if I was gonna risk that.

Anyway, so I treated the weeds! Finally! But tragic news. This year there’s poison ivy in the rocks. Yall, I’m SEVERELY allergic to poison ivy. I didn’t notice it until I was spraying. Which means I was probably all up in it when weeding by hand. UGH. So after I finished up everything, I dumped everything (even the hat) in a hot wash and hopped in the shower. I recruited Husband to scrub my back for me with the instruction to scrub like you’re trying to peel off a layer of skin. I washed thoroughly like 3 times. My skin was squeaking. So I’m praying I don’t get a rash. Dear god PLEASE no rash and hives. PLEASE.

Husband is letting me get a quote to do a ground level patio/deck and removing the rocks. I have literally no idea the ballpark that would even cost. So our builder is coming over and I’m gonna get him to do a quote for the lower patio (concrete, wood, composite? Don’t care) and then a quote for getting this god forsaken evil rocks out of my life. Hopefully, I’ll meet with him tomorrow. I say hopefully because he was supposed to meet with me Friday and then today and neither happened. PLEASE TAKE THE ROCKS AWAY.

On my Arm Lift. And tattoo.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on On my Arm Lift. And tattoo.

Usually, I write off my brachioplasty (arm lift) results. There’s multiple reasons. I didn’t get liposuction (would have if I knew to ask!) so I still have really big arms. I also still have that obnoxious fat overhang on my elbow. So I’m usually frustrated with it. Like I went through ALL THAT and still have huge arms. Really? This shit was so expensive too!

Also, when you compare my other surgeries, those are just far more impressive. I had a stomach pouch for years even after I lost weight so tummy tuck — huge. And boobs — they make every single outfit look better. Combine those two, and there’s so much oomph! This is the only time in my whole life where my breasts have stuck out further than my stomach. Seriously. I’m pretty sure I was fat before I grew breasts, so yeah. I mean the abdomen is just a complete overhaul. The difference is amazing. So yeah, I’m usually not too jazzed about the arms in comparison. Also huge scars. I’m not terribly bothered by the scars but I am disappointed that they looked like they would be so perfect and neat right after surgery but have since expanded.

HOWEVER (yes, in all caps), if you look at old photos, the arms do look hella better. They’re not all floppy either. There was a good bit of skin removed there. Before this, I’d never have worn a tank top to work. I’d CERTAINLY never have considered a tattoo sleeve. Fat flabby arms can’t have tattoo sleeves. Now that I have tighter arms and working on a fucking fabulous tattoo sleeve, I’m all about some tank tops.

Whenever an ad for a sale at Lane Bryant or Torrid pops up, I’m like “do they have any work-appropriate tanks tops?” I have a smallish collection of work tank tops hanging in my closet now. They’re my favorite to wear. I gotta show of my sweet tat.

I know it’s a work in progress. I can’t wait till we do the shoulder! But it’s nice and substantial and damn cool already. Hopefully, it greatly detracts from my balding head and acne/hairy/PCOS chin. No seriously, I’m having big issues about feeling ugly so let’s all look at the boobs and tattoo. Oooooooo.

I’m so so so glad it has my Jack in it. I miss him so much. I rub between his eyes and tell him I miss him. (He liked having me scratch right between his eyes sometimes). So I do frequently look at it and touch his little face. And people love it.

Almost everywhere I go, someone comments on it. Seriously. Just about everywhere. “Love your tattoo!” “Gorgeous tattoo!” “Who did your tattoo?” “Is that a cat!?” “Where’d you get it done?” “That work is amazing.” “Holy shit! I love it!” It’s a hype piece. A conversation starter for sure. I love it! Nearly everywhere I go, it’s mentioned.

(And yeah, hopefully it’s drawing attention away from my face. Look at my cleavage or something.)