Tag: cursing cats

Tubing!

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Tubing!

I finally got to go tubing! It was just as awesome as I expected it to be. We had 7 people linked in a circle, so steering to avoid obstacles like hanging tree limbs was a thing. We had loads of fun though.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I found a great deal on the mesh-bottomed River Run tubes at academy. 100% recommend the mesh bottomed “River Run” tubes. I’ve used them before at the lake at Mr C’s Aunt L’s house on the lake. So I knew they were exactly what we wanted. So I spread it around the group and we all had the same tubes. Why does that matter? Because they all interlock. So we were able to lock together in a big floating circle and chill out and easily chat.

A few things we learned: Tips on tubing, you could say: or for SEO optimization: how to prepare for tubing, tubing tips:

  1. The bigger the group tied together is, the harder it is to get that snaky circle to avoid obstacles like trees and water weeds. It’s easy to move one person. Not so easy to move seven.
  2. The double floats suck. Two friends went with the double float. It was pretty cool because it had a cooler in the middle. That’s where the pluses end though. They were too high out of the water to help steer. Also, carrying that thing was a beast. Two people walking in tandem like you’re moving a couch. Also didn’t fit on the shuttle, had to go in a pick-up truck. And while all the singles stack up nicely for lunch and shuttle rides, that behemoth is taking up a lot of space. Would not recommend.
  3. Grilling food is delicious, but unpredictable (it was a windy day) and takes a lot of time. Time you could have spent on the water. Next time we will brown bag it.
  4. I thought this was obvious, but you need strappy shoes or water shoes that are gonna stay on your feet when you’re walking through a muddy creek bed. Flip-flops and slip-ons aren’t gonna cut it. That said, prepare to have shoe tan lines.
  5. Bring the sunscreen with you on the tubes. We sun-screened up so much before each float, and still got major sun.
  6. Wear a hat. Hats protect your face from the sun.
  7. A water proof phone bag is a must. Even if you don’t use it for your phone, your car key fob probably doesn’t wanna get wet.
  8. If you don’t plan to pay to get your tube inflated, for fucks sake — make sure you have the right attachments to blow it up with your pump. These river run tubes have the awesome fast release valves — which is great, but requires the appropriate fitting for inflation. However, the back rest requires a regular pool float valve. Be prepared.

CrossFit Continues

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on CrossFit Continues

Still doing CrossFit! Mostly because other people are doing it with me and I invested too much money to bail. But hey, I’m doing it. I’ve got my 4th and last one-on-one with the trainer in 45 minutes. It’s been interesting. Some things I’m better than I expected to be but most things I’m just so not capable. Like if we just had to do stretches — WINNING! Bitches I can get lower than all yall, apparently. Other things, not so much. I can’t jump rope. I can’t even do step thrus! It keeps getting caught on my shoe. God, I’m so inept!

It’s so embarrassing. And of course you’re surrounded by the fittest of the fit going about their shit and I just feel in the way. I have, however, come to accept that I just sweat like aint nobodys business. But so does everyone else. Cause these people are hard core. Tuesday, one of those guys should have just been in a wet tshirt contest.

So Wednesday will be my first general-populace-workout. Lord, that’s gonna be a shit show for sure. How far down can we scale these workouts? Like I mean real low. Box jumps, I’m doing step ups. My step up is 12 inches. My workout buddy’s box jump is 24 inches. Holy shit! Girl can jump. I can’t even jump rope! Can we just stick to stretches and warm-ups where I don’t feel foolish? Please? I feel like a dumpster fire.

Speaking of dumpster fires, it’s 96 degrees today. Yeah, lets go work out in that! Not like heat stroke is a thing! Lord help me.

CrossFit

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on CrossFit

So how on Earth is my lazy ass doing CrossFit?  I’ve never even been in any gym. Ever.

Well, it started at work.  K2 is a CrossFit evangelist.  When she moved here, she started at this gym.  She met her significant other there.  She’s all about that lifestyle.  She even just bought a house from a fellow member.  So K2 convinced K3 to sign on for onboarding (They’re both coworkers). I thought the onboarding sounded really interesting because it’s four one-on-one sessions with a personal trainer/coach teaching you how to do everything and use all the equipment. So even if I didn’t continue CrossFit, knowing the proper form and techniques and stuff would be worth it no matter what.

But then to do the onboarding, apparently you also have to sign up for a month of membership. And holy shit, CrossFit is an INVESTMENT. So K2 goes every day and K3’s doing it with me so they promised I’d never have to work out alone if I committed so OK, I’ll give it August.

Our first onboarding class was Monday.  It took about two hours.  But hold on. It would have been one if it was just one of us.  However we wanted to do it together.  So we had one coach teaching us both so taking turns back and forth with each lesson item.  So we didn’t work out for that full 2 hours.  Half the time we were watching the other.  I loved learning all the different techniques and how to scale them to stuff I can actually DO. ‘Cause you know I aint doing a pull up! We learned burpees (nope), sit ups, kettle balls (American and Russian style), air squats, ring rows (which is sort of a pull-up learner), incline push ups (loved these compared the real push ups) jumping pull ups (I only needed four risers), dead lifts and who knows what else.  Then our actual workout was walk/run, air squats (mine with a 20 inch box), incline pushups, and ring rows.    

I felt great about everything except the running.  Holy shit I am SO BAD at running.  I can walk faster than I run and I’m not even sure how that’s humanly possible, but it is.  I also learned that I might as well just jump in the pool after my workout because I sweat more than I ever would have imagined.  Also, for $300, I think I deserve an air conditioned gym.  But yeah, it might as well have been raining on me I was dripping so much.  And even the next morning, my pile of workout clothes was still a sopping wet mess.  It was embarrassing.  Very much so.  

So I’m not to the point where I’d go alone.  However, thankfully, I don’t have to!  K3 really had to work to get me in the car after work to go.  Right up until I committed that payment I was really second guessing so hard.  Of course now that I’ve paid, I’m not wasting all that money.  I’m apparently in this now until August 11th at least. 

Also, as you know, I’ve got an upcoming appointment with a plastic surgeon to see about finally getting my arms shaped up to normal and my stomach straightened out. So I really think I’ll continue this up to my surgery date (If I get one, of course) because the more muscle I have, the better the outcome will be.

And hell, by the time I’ve been doing it that long, I might be drinking the Kool Aid too.

Here We Go

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Here We Go

Blarg! I have been avoiding posting for over a week now. In fact, I’ve been avoiding even typing this post for the past 30 minutes with Facebook and Youtube while the blank page stares at me. Ok. Here we go. I gained 10 more pounds.

I’m devastated! I’m heart broken. I’m depressed. I’m panicy. I just want to crawl in bed and die. I want to just throw in the towel. Do you know I haven’t had a bite of mac and cheese in THREE YEARS? I haven’t had a taco in three years. What the fuck am I doing this for!? If I’m gonna gain weight I might as well get some damn tacos.

Now I’m 20 some odd pounds from my goal with an appointment with a plastic surgeon in a month. Finally, I get the chance to have decent arms — arms that can wear tank tops and cute sleeveless dresses or better yet those ones that tie behind your neck and I’m blowing it! What the actual fuck?

I just wanna die and throw in the towel. I’m done. Ugh. To describe this as a “funk” is an understatement.

But I’m married and have a cat so I can’t be done. Dammit.

I’ve got a blood draw tomorrow to check my thyroid again because — again I say: what the actual fuck?

I’ve also been peer pressured into Cross Fit. I know, I’m gonna die. We start tomorrow. God help me. But with this damn weight gain I gotta do something! More details on this whole Cross Fit $300 let’s-do-it campaign later. Not sure how much later because I’ve got the busiest week planned. I never book up my weeks. I’m lazy. But this week I have something EVERY DAY. Two things Monday. Plus a full time job. Three Cross Fit training sessions. One doctors appointment. One Baseball game (of course this will be fun) and then tubing on Saturday. Good thing tubing doesn’t require energy! Unless I fall out of that tube. God help us then. Yall gonna have to help my ass get back in.

Melancholy

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Melancholy

I left work early again today. I just feel so sad. Melancholy. Sorrowful. It’s not all mom. Of course part of it is mom. I miss her dearly. I have so much anxiety and worries running through my head and I need her calmness. I need her “It will work it all out.” I need her to calm me down and say she’ll pray about it.

Monday was a holiday. It was a lazy day. The kind of day where her an I would have lazily floated in the pool. I miss that so much. That time was perfect. Of course I never realized it was perfect but it was. It was a time with just us chatting and relaxing. Telling each other secrets and gossip. And I was providing for her. Be it a day or the weekend, I was providing for her. And I was giving her this private pool to enjoy as much as she wanted. And believe me, she did enjoy it. I’d find her out there on the stairs having coffee when I woke up. If she hadn’t already got on a bathing suit and moved into the tanning ledge or a float.

I miss you, momma. So so much. To say it hurts is superlative.

I do have things im looking forward to. That’s something that leaves me in a depression — when I don’t have things to look forward to. But this time I have a few things to look forward to — but they’re all tainted somehow. Or I fear they won’t come to pass at all.

I’m looking forward to plastic surgery. I might be pretty smokin’ with some tightened up arms and belly and bigger boobs. I’ll be an hourglass for sure — even if it is still an extra large one. The fact that my husband is letting me pay for this and take the time off to do it is amazing! But rather than being grateful, I worry. What if my recent weight gain takes that off the table? How will my recovery be? Will my husband be able to step up to help me enough? With pain meds, bringing me drinks and food, helping me get up and around, washing my hair for me, taking care of the cat. How can I take care of Jack right after ive been gutted? Momma always always took care of me in recoveries. Even since I’ve been married. She’d just come up here to stay. It’s hard for me to trust. I worry.

I’m looking forward to Florida. The family trip my side of the family always takes. However, this one is obvious. Florida is MOMS THING. It’s what she loved. Sitting on the beach all day with the waves of the gulf washing over her feet. Lazily dripping sand into elaborate spires next to her chair. Having coffee at 6am on the balcony listening to the crashing waves. This year we’ll all be going at least one last time all together. For mom. She wanted some of her ashes spread there. In the ocean. And she’d want us to go. She always wanted us to go. Even when I felt like I ruined it. I turn into such a bitch around my sisters. It’s the codependent family structure. I fall right back into it when I’m with them. Then we all bitch to mom and she screams that she cant take it anymore. And I feel like they’d have a better vacation without me there. So yeah, cloud over that one. But I have to go. For mom.

October. This one’s odd. So it’s the year to spend Thanksgiving with my family. However, Mr C’s parent’s are celebrating in October — so sweet, we can do both families, right? Well. Mr C’s parents, in a fashion so very typical of them, just assumed none of us “kids” were coming. So I was chatting with my mother-in-law the other day (remember, I was all sad about mom and no one would return my calls? You know none of my family has yet to return any of the calls, BTW). Yeah I was talking to her and she mentioned that they’d be stopping by our house on their great road trip right before heading up to the thanksgiving festivities. So I confirmed that we’d be leaving to follow them. This was news to her! She thought we weren’t coming! She was super excited that we were. She informed me that Thanksgiving dinner with the N’s was canceled and gave me the run down of the new plans.

So after talking with her, I called Mr C’s brother. He has legitimately no excuse in the world to miss Thanksgiving. So I called to see why he wasn’t coming. That was news to him. He thought he WAS coming. Mr C’s sister — same thing! We were all planning on going but the parents just assumed we weren’t for some weird reason they’re calling a miscommunication but I’m calling bullshit. So since no “kids” were coming, the adults scrapped thanksgiving dinner at the N’s for a fall trip. Now they’re going to North Carolina to ride a train through the mountains. Sounds nice enough. So we conspired and decided we’d join. Then I did more research.

The parents are staying in a very overpriced lodge. Thats cool, cause my sister-in-law found us a cheap air BnB less than a mile away. Awesome! So I looked into this “dinner or lunch train.” Well, one: there’s no dinner or lunch. It’s just a 4.5 hour train ride. You can get a boxed lunch of a sandwich and chips. But I’m keto, I can’t eat the sandwich or the chips! Oh and those sweet antique steam dinner train vibes — nope. Only available in November and December. We’re riding a plain old commuter style train. It’s not even steam! So now I’m riding a foodless amtrak to nowhere as the main part of my trip. AWESOME. We’re only driving 4.5 hours hours both way for this privilege. Buy hey, good meals with family are worth it, right? Well, on the train we won’t all be together. Because it’s not a dining train. And dinners? there’s no where to eat dinner in the town we’re staying in or the town with the train! They’re shit towns, I looked! Fuck me, this trip sounds terrible. We’re all pretty mad they canceled dinner and games at the N’s but we didn’t realize the extent of this thing.

Then there’s my sweet tattoo. I can’t get it if I don’t get my arms done so there’s one worry. Also all the good artists are in LA or New York! I can’t get anyone to reply to my inquiries. And if I travel to one of these artists, can we do it in one go? Don’t they have to do it in stages? I can’t travel to New York 3 times! And who’s gonna take care of my precious Jack? That goes for all of these trips (except Florida when K is gonna house sit. Thats why K’s getting the sweet ass home warming present. Not the Dragon of Scams, though. He’s currently a deflating trophy in the garage). But it might not matter, because none of the artists have replied to my inquiries.

So. Yeah. I’m whiny. I told you I was melancholy. But I don’t really have anyone to whine to, so I’m doing it here. My blog, my therapist. I find myself lonely. I miss mom so much.

Sugarfree Keto Orange Creamsicle Jello Mold

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 3 Comments on Sugarfree Keto Orange Creamsicle Jello Mold

TLDR: I’m just here for the recipe, bitch. Get some boxes of sugarfree jello. Replace half the water required with heavy cream that’s been whipped to stiff peaks.

I made my first jello mold! I’ve been obsessed with this orange creamsicle jello lately. Obsessed. It’s keto friendly, fruity, summery, and extremely refreshing. I’ve been just making it in a ceramic bowl with lid. However, for Fourth of July, I wanted to make it into a more presentable molded dessert. So I ordered a bundt pan! Look at that beautiful baby. It’s jiggly and perfect! I’m pretty sure I ate 90% of it, but whatever. That shit was delicious.

RECIPE: Sugarfree Keto Orange Creamsicle Jello Mold

Ingredients:

  • Jello (Sugar Free or for keto, regular works too)
  • Water
  • Heavy Whipping Cream

Directions:

  1. Math. Each jello box needs 2 cups of water according to box directions. We’re replacing HALF of that water with cream. So each box needs 1 cup water and 1 cup cream. I used 4 boxes which ended up fitting perfectly in my 12 cup bundt pan. (Remember, whipping the cream will add volume). So I need 4 cups water and 4 cups cream.
  2. Boil water. You want to be able to cool off this water with ice before you mix it with the cream, so only boil half of it. I boiled 2 cups water in the microwave.
  3. Melt Jello powder in boiling water. Mix well.
  4. Mix Jello with the remaining amount of ice water to cool it off. Set aside.
  5. In another bowl, whip heavy cream to peaks.
  6. Add Jello to whipped cream and whip until completely mixed.
  7. Pour into GREASED Bundt pan or bowl or your choice. Refrigerate until set.

NOTES:

  • You can use a hair dryer to heat up the bundt pan and slip that baby right out. I used wet paper towels that I kept warming in the microwave until it released. Hair dryer would have been easier.
  • How much you whip it determines how fluffy it will be. You can optionally not whip it at all and end up with a jello/yogurt texture.
  • Use whatever flavor Jello you want! Don’t like orange? How about Strawberry? Lime? Lemon? Cherry?

Three Year Ketoversary!

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Three Year Ketoversary!

Today marks three years that I’ve been keto. I have gained a bit from last year but I know I’ll get it back off. It was depression and my thyroid being off. I never stopped keto, so I really think I’ll get back down. 2018: 320lbs, 2021: 238lbs. Goal: get back to 2020lbs.

Still meeting with the plastic surgeon in August. I called to see if he does tummy tucks and arm lifts in one operation. They said its no unheard of but really not preferred. So we shall see. I really want to get my tummy and arms done before the breasts so I can see what I’m working with before I choose my new cup size. And I’m only gonna do two surgeries, not three.

Mr C and I talked heavily about this yesterday. My stomach and my arms are what bother me the most too. So ideally, I want them done together. He asked if that was really a deal breaker for me and if I could only do one, what would I do. Well, we talked about it and I thought hard about it. So arms. If he won’t do tummy AND arms, I’ll start with arms. Then I can come back with the “mommy makeover” of stomach and breasts.

I decided arms because I’ll be getting this done after summer. So they’ll have all winter and spring to heal up before I start getting in the sun heavily again (sun = bad for scar healing). Plus I REALLY wanna get my tattoo. So I need those babies to heal up so I can get a sleeve for my 40th birthday!

I dont want to combine breasts with arms even if it is an option. I read that that can compromise a lot of the blood flow around your arm pits. So yeah. Also stomach and arms have longer healing times that a breast augmentation, so it’d be good to pair them together. Like I said, we’ll see.

I’m here anytime you need to talk. Except when you need to talk.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 8 Comments on I’m here anytime you need to talk. Except when you need to talk.

Got a text from sister1 today. Apparently sister2 had a breakdown and spent hours telling her how she had backslid into drinking a ton and depression and she was not doing okay over moms death. We all kinda knew that (When I sat in moms bedroom chair and looked to see what she had been reading, I assumed the hard liquor wasn’t hers), but she hadn’t admitted any of it. So sister1 wanted us to be mindful and reach out and let sister2 know we love her and not tell her we know kinda way.

In this same text message thread, sister3 mentioned she cried to nephew2 about mom just this weekend. Well, fuck I was talking just yesterday to nephew2 online and told him I was super upset about moms death too. So I was like, I’ll call sister3! She ignored my call, yall. You know how you click someone off and it goes to voicemail early ’cause you clicked them off. Uhuh. So okay, I’ll call sister2. She cuts me off too with the auto text “can’t talk right now.” She ALWAYS does this. She did it to mom all the time too. So no big surprise. Okay… I’ll call sister1. No answer. FUCK ME. So I call my mother-in-law cause she loves to talk. No answer (she’s most likely working and not ignoring me. She LOVES when I call). Yall have got to be kidding me!

So I called nephew1 and chatted a while. I wanted to talk about mom but I did not. I just talked to him about what was going on with him and his life. It was still good to talk to someone. And I left work early cause I was upsetty.

INTERMISSION: Hey I told Mr C when I got home super early: “I quit! … for the day.” Haha, he had one of those mini heart attacks.

Anyway, what the fuck? Everyone’s all “I’m here for you.” Except when you actually need to talk to someone and then no one will pick up the god damned phone. It’s been hours and no return calls either. And in the text thread where sister3 mentioned crying about it this weekend, she was like “I’m glad we all still think of her.” Again I say to you: what the fuck? Like no, I moved on. I don’t give a shit that my mom died on Christmas. I hardly think of it. Certainly not EVERY FUCKING DAY. What a shitty support net I have.

AND NOW, THIS…

God, that mug humored me so much when I saw it earlier in my Facebook Feed. “Bitch, I will put you in a trunk and help people look for you.” That’s good. I’ve never heard that. They had so many good ones too. (The picture links to Piper & Lou who sell these epic mugs.)

Missing Mom

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Missing Mom

I tried to make myself a little less of a potato of depression and anxiety today. I got in the pool. But it just made me miss mom. I miss her insanely dark skin that smelled like Nivea. I miss talking about life while we floated in the pool. I miss joking about her flip flop tan lines she was trying to even out. I miss fetching her peanut butter crackers and peach wine while she sat on the tanning ledge. She should be there on the tanning ledge while I cool off inside. But she’s not. She won’t ever be again.