Sleeveless

So today was a bit of a milestone. It was the first time I have ever worn a sleeveless shirt to work.

I’m still not thrilled with my arms. However, I’m no longer downright ashamed of them. I was a bit anxious about it when I decided what to wear last night, but I didn’t second guess my choice to go sleeveless all day. I felt like I looked quite spiffy even.

And though I’ve gained a bit, so my stomach is certainly not close to flat, it doesn’t bulge out anymore. So I feel confident to walk straight and tall with my shoulders back. I’m showing off the boobs I paid for — rather than pushing out my stomach further.

I’m very anxious and nit picky about the surgeries I’ve had. None of them came out with the expected results. I’m most happy with the tummy tuck. However, my anxiety just riddles me with the fact that I’ve gained weight and “ruined it.” Yet, I’m so much more confident walking around without my stomach poking out. It’s the surgery I’m happiest with. Next would be the boobs. They’re lopsided, but I went from nothing to a lot of something. So I can’t complain too hard. Mr C loves them too! The arms I’d say I’m the least happy with the outcome. I still have huge, fat arms. However, these arms are a million times better than what I had before! It’s just a shame I never kept any of the unflattering pictures.

I’m very happy I went through this process and these surgeries. Are my parts as wonderful as I’d hoped? No. Did I trade up on all of them? Hell fucking yes. Worth it.

One Month Post Op #2

This last week I hit one moth post op. Breast lift with augmentation and tummy tuck revision. I decided to try to sleep in the bed. I have my wedge from the last surgery so I could still sleep at an angle. It didn’t work out. I was so uncomfortable and didn’t get any sleep. I’m a side sleeper and my poor boobs just hurt too much when I tried to lay on my side.

I find myself very frustrated that it’s taking so long to recover from this surgery. I need to give myself more time, it’s only been a month. However, I feel like I was doing a lot more at one month post op last time. It’s just frustrating. Why do the boobs still hurt!? Maybe because they pried the muscle up and shove silicone balls in there? You have a point.

They’re so sensitive too. Like no sensation lost, that’s for damn sure. They ache, especially the areolas. Which to be fair, got cut out and re-positioned. I know I need to give myself more time, but damn. Hurry up. It’s so different because, were it not for the drain(s), I’d think my tummy was 100% healed up. No hurting there! I tried sleeping in a different bra and the boobs weren’t having it either. It was too tight.

Speaking of drains… Saturday night, I broke one of my drains. I was stripping them as I do twice a day, every day. As I did for 10 weeks on the last surgery. And… the tube just snapped like an old rubber band! Oops. I guess that drains coming out. There’s just, like, 3 inches of tube left hanging out. How in the hell?

UPDATE: So Sunday, I was unbandaging around my drains for my shower. I realized that the drain that snapped was pulled partially out — I guess from the snap. So I just pulled the rest of it out. Sorry, not sorry. It didn’t hurt at all. So just the one drain now. That’s a plus.

I have bad news, but wait! Good news too.

I saw the plastic surgeon on Monday about doing my breasts in March. He thought breasts could be done for sure, but he also wants to do a scar revision on my stomach. Not because the scar is bad, but because there’s more skin he can get and tighten even more now that my swellings down. Nice. I also asked about getting all the side-boob fat. You know, the fat that you shove in your bra cause your boobs are more like a blob than a perky magazine chick in reality. He said he could totally get that, but there’d be a scar. OK. Have you seen me? I’m up to, like, 4 feet of scarring at this point.

I also asked him about the overhang on my elbows. He tried to address it with lipo, but it’s not a fat problem, it’s a skin problem. The skin from my shoulder to my elbow is just too long after losing weight. He was hesitant about that one. He said he’d consult with his peer and see what he thought. So they took lots of pictures. But the good news was — he said he wanted my last drain out this week! It was still draining too much but he said he didn’t care, he wanted it out this week. It’s only been 2 and a half fucking months. THANK GOD.

LIARS! Fucking Liars! We made an appointment for Friday to pull that last god damned drain. I went in and did it get pulled? No, it did not. Because for some reason, on Wednesday it decided to start shooting up in drainage. It was 80ml on Thursday. Yeah… Not the 15 they want or even the 40 it was when they pulled the other. So the nurse went to talk to the surgeon and he said nope, give it the weekend and call them on Monday with an update. Because at those levels, they’d need to aspirate fluid every other day and every time they do that you risk infection. FUCK.

Yall, I am not exaggerating that I left that office utterly defeated. I wanted to get a krispy kreme donut and cry and spend the day in bed. For real real. I settled for going to the store and buying ALL the keto snacks and working my damn job while eating chocolate.

But wait! In my extreme darkness, I forgot to ask the scheduler about the breast surgery. They never got back to me after Monday. She’s been holding March 15th for me. He’s booking in May right now, so if I can’t do March I have to wait till Fall. That’s because May is not enough time to heal before my pool opens. Well, they just hadn’t got back to me yet — but he’s totally cool with it. Boobs, side boob, and arm and stomach touch ups — all a go for March 15th. I even have my preop appointment scheduled for this Friday. Woot.

It’s definitely a woot. And I know I want my breasts done. However, this surgery I’m much much more anxious about than the last. First, with the revisions, how bad is the recovery going to be? I know breasts are an “easy” recovery, but he’s doing more to my arms and stomach too. Also, my arm scars aren’t that great. So hows this new scar in a whole new place on my arm gonna look? Is it worth it? I think it is but you never know because hind sight is 20/20 and foresight is fucking blind.

Also size. I’ve been sticking to a D or double D. I want to be big but not hard to shop for bras big. Is that too big? Mr C pushed for me to clarify DD because he wants me to go as big as I’m comfortable going. I’m fine with some DDs, but some peoples DDs are way bigger than others. How do I know whats in this guys head when I say DD? I dont want boobs so big that you can’t see my new flat stomach…

I’m scared. And I still have a fucking drain in. UGH.

9 Weeks Post-Op

So I’m 9 weeks post-op tomorrow (tummy tuck / abdominoplasty, arm lift / brachioplasty). I should be working out by now but I’ve still got a fucking drain in!

Yesterday I saw the doctor. I presented the graph of obvious non drainage decline and he said OK, we’ll take one out and watch the other over the next few days. Awesome! Well, then he left and the nurse wasn’t so happy to take out a drain. She insisted that this was normal and they were going down. She’s worked there for 19 years, you know. Bitch, can you not read a line graph? It’s a fucking picture. And the doctors been there longer than 19 years. I know those nurses hate me. She mentioned the numerous requests in my file about the drains. And she said if they are removed, they’ll have to manually remove the fluid with a needle multiple times. Bitch, I know. I accept this. I do not accept keeping useless drains in when they could be the irritation causing the damn drainage themselves.

So he said come back in a few days. The nurse, however, said to call when the drain goes down and blah blah blah about 15ccs. So I’m not sure when they’ll actually take this second one out. However, they did take the problem one out — the one that was painful because it had slipped out about an inch, was cloudy, and was smelly. Having one long tube to deal with is also simpler than trying to keep two from getting twisted and tangled. So half victory.

I asked about getting on his schedule for March for the breasts. I need them healed up before I open the pool in the summer. So if they can’t be done in March or April, I’ll put it off till the pool closes in Fall. He said that should be fine. Of course he’s booked up. Which is why I’ve mentioned it in my previous appointment and he blew me off with we’ll talk about that next time. UGH. So the scheduler is supposed to talk to him and then give me a call. I’m crossing my fingers. But I’m also prepared to hear that I have to wait till after summer.

Also FIRST TATTOO THIS WEEK! Saturday I’m getting my Goomba!

Depression and Fucking JP Drains

So I see the surgeon on Monday for my 8 week follow-up (Tummy Tuck, Arm Lift — get caught up). Really, I was 8-weeks two days ago so it’ll be more like my 9-week follow up. I still have my surgical drains. The longest I can find on the internet is a reference that they can drain for 1-5 weeks. I was originally told they’d be in for 3 weeks. Then it became when they’re under 15cc per bulb per day. OK.

Then last time I saw the doctor (2-weeks ago) he said that he’ll take them out at 8 weeks anyway. Well, his nurse corrected him that they wouldn’t. The nurse again reinforced that they can not come out until they are down to 15cc per day when I called to complain that one of the drains is turning cloudy and smelly. So I’ve been looking forward to Monday, but as it get closer (and keep in mind, I’m depressed over here anyway), I’m thinking: Holy shit, they’re not going to take them out.

To see if I was right or the nurses were right, I charted the data. Maybe they’re going down in a very slow, languid progression. December to January looks great:

But wait a minute — lets zoom in on January:

They aren’t going down! And maybe it’s just because my body doesn’t like plastic tubing in it. But you can’t tell me they’ll go down while I’m looking at FOUR WEEKS OF DATA WHERE THEY DIDN’T GO DOWN. That’s a week longer than they were supposed to be in there in their entirety — 4 weeks of nothing. Everyone on the facebook groups I follow had them out in a few days or at two weeks (for those who have it done in Miami and then go home and have to have a doc take them out). No measurements, just a time frame. Well my time frame done passed on by.

Yall pray for me. Yes, I printed out my data for the doctor. But you know how often doctors listen to patients. And lord knows his nurses are only concerned with quantity. Even though one of them has gone from crystal clear yellow drainage to cloudy and increasing and smelly. I kinda think that’s a problem. I’m just looking forward to talking to the DOCTOR Monday and not his fucking “how much did they drain yesterday” god damned nurses.

PS: I acknowledge that they are still draining a lot. And taking them out might cause me to need to have the fluid manually drained. But I just don’t think they’re going to go down anymore with the drain system still in there. I think my body wants it out. I also think there are injections you can give to encourage it to close up. I’m gonna research those too.

Some Things 1/18

  1. I’m seven weeks post op tomorrow (tummy tuck and arm lift). Nothing really new to talk about on that front. Yes, I still have my cursed drains. I saw the doctor yesterday for a regular followup and he said they remove them at 8 weeks. The nurse replied with “not when they’re at 40!” and he didn’t reply. So he scheduled to see me in 2 weeks. That’ll be almost 9 weeks post op. I have faith that he’ll take them out at that appointment no matter what. I honestly think at this point, maybe the drains themselves are making the wound not heal up faster. They were on a steady decline to 35/40 until January started. They’ve not moved since (except one day number 2 shot up but it was just that once). So I’m scared they’ll have to drain fluid with a needle if they remove them, but I also haven’t been laid since NOVEMBER.
  2. At least he took off my 10lb lift limit. I can pick up things now! Rather than stare sadly at them and ask someone else to do it.
  3. Mr C’s birthday was yesterday! The big 40! I made him the lemon tart (recipe here) that he loves because he got chocolate mousse for Christmas. I made it all — the giant pain in the ass. I used M’s tip to mix the crust pastry in the food processor rather than by hand — GENIUS. I juiced all the lemons, I zested, I custard-ed. I clean up all the dishes and then went to put the beautiful tart in the fridge and saw one and a half sticks of butter on the counter. Fuck fuck fuck. I had to dump out all the custard, put it back over the heat and dissolve all the butter then pour it back in. It doesn’t seem to have suffered for it but damn. Close one. I was so pleased with myself before I saw that butter too.

Revisiting Surgery Preparedness

A lot of people looking to have plastic surgery are desperate for information. What do you need? How will you feel? Whats gonna happen? Well, I’ve written a lot of posts about how I’ve prepared for my surgery (Tummy Tuck / Abdominoplasty with Placation and Arm Lift / Bracioplasty). Here, I’m consolidating and revisiting what I actually used and found helpful. If you want more detail of my journey, visit the “Plastic Surgery Journey” category to grab those posts.

First, lets start with what I haven’t mentioned on the blog specifically. Before the surgery, I packed a suitcase. This suitcase had everything I could wear in it. This way I could get my care givers to get me fresh pants or underwear or shirts without them having to dig around for them. Here’s what it had:

  • Four pairs of BAGGY pants. I specifically ordered yoga and sweat pants that were one size too big for me. They were comically large — until I had surgery and swelled up like a balloon. I had read other people having to wear their boyfriends pants, well Mr C is skinny so I had to buy my own. YOU NEED BIG PANTS. You need loose clothes. LOOSE.
  • Button up / zip up shirts. Your arms can’t function — how you gonna put a shirt on? How are you gonna access your stomach binder and drains. You’re gonna be wearing open front shirts – that’s how. I couldn’t even pretend to put on a tshirt until week 3.5 and I still don’t want to in week 4.
  • Brief-style underwear. You might not wear underwear at first. The drains might, like mine, be coming from your mons pubic area. I, however, found that I prefer to wear underwear so that the drain tubes are held in place when I pull up my pants. You don’t want your care givers rifling through your underwear drawer and bringing you lacy bikini bottoms.
  • Compression socks. These were required for my first two weeks.
  • Compression pants. After my first week appointment, I was told to wear compression pants to help with the comical swelling of my thighs.
  • Compression arm sleeves. Some people are fine with the ace bandages they were sent home in. I was not. Those things were tight and itchy and drove me NUTS. Order multiple types to see what you like. Then order and extra pair of the one you like. ‘Cause you can’t wear deodorant and your underarms get stinky so washing will be required at some point.
  • Zip front bras. Yeah, same as the shirts. I’m a month post op and still cant put on a regular bra.

The next most handy thing I had was clutch. CLUTCH. I’ve mentioned it many times already — LIFT RECLINER. I rented a lift recliner. Having your stomach done, you can use your arms. Having your arms done too? Kinda fucked then. The proper way the nurses showed us to move me around was to bend over and let the patient hug you and then rise with them. It sounds so easy but it’s not. You don’t have to buy this thing — rent it! I paid $150 for the month and that included delivery and pickup. I just googled “medical supply store” near me and found three places that rented them out. It was required. I lived in it. It was my world for 2 weeks solid. And it got me up without fail and without my care givers freaking out about ripping my arms open.

Something no one mentions but appears in all their videos: Straws. I bought some long bended silicone straws. Your arms are so swollen and tight you can’t reach your mouth. You need a straw.

My well organized baskets from this post: “Surgery in T minus 4 days“. All three baskets were useful. It was great to be able to move them around to where I needed them. The hygiene basket mostly stayed in the bathroom. The medicine basket mostly stayed in the kitchen (but note how I had labeled all my medication in layman’s terms. That was a god send for my caretakers. Also visit that post for details like how you’re gonna NEED some stool softeners). The wound care basket was clutch though. Sometimes we did my wounds in the recliner. Or in my bedroom after my showers. Sometimes it was even in the kitchen. We didn’t have to grab a bunch of stuff or worry about forgetting something, we just grabbed the basket. So convenient. Here’s what it had repeated:

  • Gloves
  • Bandages
  • Medical tape
  • Brand new clean scissors
  • Qtips
  • Polysporin (the latter two for around the drainage sites)
  • Antimicrobial soap
  • Alcohol wipes (using one of these to strip your drains makes it a breeze — tip of the day).

I’m gonna mention stool softeners again. I’ve never had a problem with constipation. Even after surgeries. So I wasn’t too worried about this. However, I was instructed to start stool softeners 2 days before surgery and a laxative after. You gonna NEED THIS. I did as I was instructed and about three days post op, I felt like I was shitting shards of glass. That’s AFTER 5 days of stool softeners. Do what you are told for sure.

Rent a rollator or have chairs strategically placed. You’ll need a chair in the bathroom for brushing your teeth. You’ll need a chair in the shower. I also used it in the kitchen where I emptied my drains. But DON’T USE A WALKER! My doctor was very adamant — NO WALKERS. He said for 24 hours you can hunch. After that, your abdomen needs to be standing tall. You can walk loose and bend at the knees to relieve the pressure on the incision but you don’t want those newly repair ab muscles to heal in a hunchback position. No one needs that.

Pillows! Get all the pillows! Your arms need to be raised at all times. Or your hands will swell. It sucks. You also need a pillow under your knees — EVEN IN THE RECLINER. This reduces strain on the tummy tuck incision. You’ll need this when you move to the couch or bed too.

Binder. I already mentioned the arm sleeves. But you’ll have a tummy binder too. The one I was sent home in was difficult to put on. I had to have a friend come help Mr C put it back on me every time I took a shower because you have to have them so tight and well, your own arms are useless. At two weeks I switched to one I got on Amazon with three “belts” that velcro instead of one big piece. This means you can just stick one on there immediately to hold it around you. This allows you to line up your foam pads, move your drains, and make sure it’s centered. Then you can pick one of the other “belts” and strap it tight. Then pick another. Then another. Then keep doing them over and over in increments until you have it on tight enough. I bought this one from Amazon. I’ve got another being delivered this week that has more boning. We shall see if I like it better.

Lanyard or drain pouch. They sell pouches that hang around your neck to hold your drains in the shower. My doctor actually gave me a lanyard with their phone number on it so I could hook my drains to that in the shower. I also used it when I was sleeping in the recliner covered in pillows to attach my phone to. I had very limited reach and a lot of pillows all over me. Being able to retrieve my phone from around my neck was clutch for the first few days. And you gotta have something to hold your drains in the shower. Period.

Protein drinks. I drink Premier Protein but your body needs protein to heal. A LOT of protein. And you’re wearing a corset so you cant eat it all. Drink that shit.

This last thing — I hope you don’t need. 4 weeks in, I was doing great. I was undoing my drain dressings so I could hop in the shower and… I nicked a drain tube. It immediately lost suction. I freaked out. I called the doctor and they told me to go buy “medical foam tape” — it’s waterproof and stretchy. I sent Mr C out immediately to get some while I panicked about how I done fucked up. After a few attempts, though, I got it to hold suction again. So yeah, life saver. Be careful with those drains!

EDITED TO ADD: Toilet riser. I was in the best shape I’ve ever been in going into this surgery so strong legs were a key ingredient. Yeah squats! However, our house has “comfort height” toilets. If you have those regular short toilets, buy you a cheap toilet riser. It can be cheap — you don’t need it to last a year or two or three, just a few weeks. You’re only gonna have your legs to get you up off that toilet — don’t go down so low you can’t get back up!

Surgery in T minus 4 days

For those scouring the internet for pre-surgery advice, this post contains my supply lists for my upcoming tummy tuck (abdominoplasty) and arm lift (brachioplasty).

l’m getting ready for my surgery. Thanksgiving is over. ALL the Christmas decorations are up inside and out. The medical equipment I’m renting is being delivered on Monday. I’ve got all the prescriptions filled and labeled in layman terms. (Except for the pain killers. Mr C will fill those day-of). I’m organizing like I’m nesting or something.

I’ve got three baskets: Hygiene, Medications, Wound Care:

Since I’ll be living downstairs for a while I loaded up the hygiene basket:

  • Body wipes for between showers
  • Face wipes
  • Chapstick
  • Deodorant
  • Tooth brush and paste
  • Mouth wash
  • Razor
  • Body Spray
  • Dry Shampoo

The medication basket contents were all laid out by my doctor:

  • Lots of prescriptions. Nausea, Motion Sickness, Antibiotic, Blood thinners, Muscle relaxers
  • Tylenol — the only over the counter pain killer I’m allowed to take starting last week
  • Probiotic
  • Stool softeners (to start Monday)
  • Laxative to start day after surgery
  • Arnica because everyone on the internet swears by it

Then we’ve got wound care:

  • Gloves
  • Bandages
  • Medical tape
  • Brand new clean scissors
  • Qtips
  • Polysporin (the latter two for around the drainage sites)
  • Antimicrobial soap
  • Alcohol wipes

I also bought something so morbidly embarrassing — but better to have and not need than to need and not have: A poop stick. To wipe your butt. LOL

I’ve got wedge pillows for when I can upgrade from the recliner to the couch for sleeping. (Our bed is crazy high so that one will be a while off). A Travel neck pillow for sleeping in the recliner. I’ve got lots of compression socks (Have to wear them for a week). I bought an extra binder so I can keep one clean (It’s basically a 16 inch wide elastic band ill be wearing for 6 weeks). Two sets of arm compression sleeves. Three front zip bras. Four pairs of comfy pants that are comically too large for me. That’s because everyone says you want BAGGY clothes. Four button up plaid shirts — we’re bring grunge BACK! One fancy shirt that zips up and has pockets to hold your drains. Oh, and a boppy pillow for my arms. They need to be raised and in physical therapy they use boppy pillows for that. So I stole their idea.

I’m renting a lift recliner and a walker with a chair built in. I’m hoping to call them early enough on Monday to try to get one of those tables that goes over a hospital bed to use with the recliner for my laptop.

I’m not ready. But I’m ready.

Making a list, checking it twice…

I’m making a Walmart list. I hate going to Walmart so it’s pretty damn rare that I do. However, with my surgery supply list, it’s just more economical. My surgery is is a week and a half! What!? It came up so fast! I’ve got to go get all the supplies I’ll need. So I’m making my list.

Man I’m so excited and nervous and anxious. I haven’t been sleeping. I’m gonna look so good — but the results will take months and they’ll be hell to pay in the mean time. Hell to pay in months of swelling and who knows how much pain. I think a lot of pain.

I can’t believe I’m doing this! It’s happening.

It’s Happening!

My plastic surgery is paid for! We went for the pre-op today and wrote the check. I’m so excited!

I’ve really just been anxious about it, but right now I’m super excited. I can do this! I got this!

I met with the surgeon again (by request) to ask a few more questions and make sure I like they guy. The first appointment I was nervous, naked, and dripping sweat. So it was not the greatest. This time I wore some nice jeans and a fitted but plain-Jane top to show him what I’m dealing with. PUDGE HELL. Like THIS is what I’m here for. He assured me we could get my triple bubble stomach down to a single bubble. I asked him about the fleur-de-lis procedure and he actually said that was a good question. In that one they cut you across (as a normal tummy tuck) and also up the middle. Most people wouldn’t even consider it because they don’t want such an obvious scar. I don’t give a fuck though. So we decided it would be up to him during the procedure. If he thinks he can achieve a good result without, awesome. But if he’s in there and thinks I could get a better result with a little horizontal pull as well, he’ll go for it. It gives him more freedom to do what he does best.

And arms too. We discussed my arms. I’m still afraid they’ll still be big, but we shall see.

December first, it all goes down. Tummy tuck and arm lift in one go. Woot!