It Keeps Spiraling

The BABIES!

If I turn into a crazy plant lady propagating shit to hoard and sell online, this is where it started. Right here.

Look at these little adorable babies. I made these. Free plants. They’re cuttings from my other plants. LITTLE BABIES! On the left, you’ve seen my Fishbone Cactus scrap cuttings. They’re doing well. And on the right we have K’s prayer plant. She requested a cutting of mine. I didn’t want to cut it, but she did cut her Christmas Cactus for me so…

It actually worked out for the better. I had three vines just growing all lopsided and sloppy. I snipped off one vine and made 5 cuttings. Then, I actually staked the other two vines. So my original plant actually looks better than ever! It’s all spread out and just popped out three new leaves! And LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE BABY! So adorable! I love it. I wants to keep it. I don’t need it and I don’t do unglazed terracotta. It’s just adorable. It’s also the only 2 cuttings that rooted. Yeah, this one didn’t take well. I used rooting hormone and everything. 40% survival rating. So I put the two survivors together here.

My little babies!

I actually rooted some of the Christmas Cactus of Friendship for K2 earlier. Now it’s on to the third friend in the chain! All three of those cuttings grew great roots. I watered them last weekend while K2 was on vacation and all three cuttings had baby leaves already! So fun! Baby plants! Free plants!

PUMPKINS!

Also, right on time, Publix has their pumpkins out! So normally I would have bought a few. But I already have my own pumpkin display!

These are the guys that survived the Great Pumpkin Massacre. Obviously squash bugs kicked my ass this year. And there was a huge learning curve. So my harvest wasn’t huge. And then…well, the massacre. That’s why there are so many super teeny tiny white pumpkins. The massacre halted their growth and they tiny. But adorable.

However, three of the vines have started putting out again so I think I’ll get a few more pumpkins! I will do a post at the end of the season and show all of them and everything I got from each vine. Believe me, I’ve taken tons of photos. I love pumpkins (have you seen my tattoo? There’s two main pumpkins, a Jack-O-Lantern lid on my shoulder and a big pumpkin vine on my back)! Lots of lessons learned this year. But to think — this is from SIX PLANTS. Six tiny little seeds. Six seeds made all this! Did it cost more than the Publix pumpkins? Yes. Was it hard? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. Am I so proud? Hell yes. My pumpkin babies! It’s like magic. Like six tiny little seeds in some dirt made all these. Like how? MAGIC IS HOW.

Composting

What else? Oh, I’m going to start composting now. I’ve been toying with the idea this season. Mainly just because of dirt storage. I usually over winter my summer plant dirt in pots or a bag in the garage. But you have to keep that shit watered or it becomes hydrophobic. So you literally have to water dirt. Last year was the first year I’ve ever overwintered plants. I’ll be overwintering my ferns this year and maybe the front porch plants. But I’ll still have a ton of dirt. Those pumpkins are in six 20lb grow bags. And I’m overwintering the lemon grass as rooted cuttings in water. So there’s all the dirt from them too. Dirt is expensive.

(NOTE: On second reading, yall might not know why I store dirt! Ha! Well, dirt is different all over the world. I happen to live where it’s all red clay. Like my outside dirt is red clay. It’s hard and it stains fucking everything. Red clay mud is the devil. So we have to buy our gardening dirt. When we plant flower beds, we buy all that dirt. Like the first time I traveled and saw a bunch of black dirt just on the ground, I was like “that’s a lot of money wasted.” So yeah, we have solid as fuck foundation dirt — but not good for the pretty plants dirt. We buy that shit. And it’s expensive.)

Also, this year I got a real eye opener in good dirt vs bad dirt. I got some super cheap dirt at first so I have a few pots with it. Then I bought two car loads of good dirt for the pumpkins and front porch. So at the plant swap, I picked up 3 miniature sunflowers. I put two on the front porch (in the good dirt pots) and one on the back stoop (in the poor dirt pot where the coleus hasn’t even done well). Holy shit. The sun is about the same. The water is about the same. But DAMN. The ones in the front have had like twenty blooms each. The back — maybe five? And that dirt won’t hold water to save its life. Even the coleus is sad in it.

So I’ve been tossing around the idea of composting. K2 jumped on it like a spider monkey because she wants to stop throwing away her food scraps. So if I compost, she can dump them here. And we have a lot of food scrap too. Come fall, I’m going to have a lot of plant scarp as well. And dirt to store. So… why not compost it? It’s not like I don’t have the ROOM.

So I’ve been learning. I learned it actually required effort, one. I mean I thought shit just rotted in a pile but no, it’s more complex than that. I learned about ratios and that it actually might require watering. Well, I had planned to chunk it in the back of our lot. But if I gotta turn this shit weekly (more like daily if I hot compost)…

In the beginning, I probably will actually hot compost when I clean up the pumpkin vines. Maybe get the yard guy to bag the clippings next cut to get started. And I’m already storing up all the brown packing paper I get for the browns. (Simplest dumb way to hot compost is apparently 50% greens to 50% browns. Stir to aerate daily or you get the sludge of death from too much anaerobic greens). And the browns need enough water to break down because brown cardboard and paper is kinda dry.

So weekly and sometimes daily effort plus water hauling? That’s not going in the back of the lot. I’m not walking all the way back there every day to do manual labor. There’s poison ivy in that grass, on all the trees, and I can’t get near the over growth. So no. It needs to be closer to the house. So I need bins. I need affordable and something husband won’t despise. (Do yall know he’s trying to say I don’t need my fancy pendant grow light for the Great Monstera? Um I do, and I will buy it anyway). So I try not to push him all the time. When it was going in the back of the lot I was gonna throw up some metal panels or something, but closer to the house I don’t want it to look like shit. So I’m doing something like this. I have this drawn up in Photoshop because I was querying local wood makers on prices:

So that design is from a kit I found, and a bunch of ideas from various youtube videos. I think the lids will actually be metal siding/roofing to keep most of the rain out, but obviously it won’t keep all of it out. Or I might still do mesh — not sure. I could even just use an old tarp and stretch it over the wood frame of the lid like a canvas. I have a clever solution for holding and closing the lids that I’ll totally show you. I’ll document my build. The sides will be the wood slats, but I bought 1/4 inch metal hardware cloth to staple all the inside edges. This will help keep the finer bits of compost in while allowing plenty of air. And I’ll do mesh on both sides of the center divider framing so there will be a good 1 inch pocket there — more air.

I really thought I could get someone local to do something cheaper than the kits online. But wood prices have skyrocketed so damn much, it’s just not gonna happen. It’s such a simple design too! The kit has all precut pieces and is expandable I figured local build wouldn’t have to do all those cuts. Wouldn’t need the dividers. Could just screw everything together on site. Nope. No one could come close to matching the kit prices.

So I’m going with the three foot composter from Cedar Wood. Did you know you need at least a 1 meter x 1 meter pile to hot compost? You do. So I’m going to buy two of these kits and bastardize it. I calculated all sorts of ways to do this. One composter plus spare parts (you can buy individual bits on the site). Two composters. A composter plus an HVAC cover. I’ve been mathing. I settled on two composter kits which I will use to create my three bin system with exactly six three-foot lengths of cedar leftover (plus a lot of spacers I won’t need). Those will probably be involved in the lids.

You can buy these kits at Home Depot so I did think to look around the internet for coupons and prices. They’re actually cheaper on almost every other site, including Lowes. But look at you, Wayfair, with the deep cut! I see you! Order placed. It will be here tomorrow.

So tomorrow I will have the kits, my plan, and the mesh. I’m sure that will take me longer than this weekend to get the sides up and the mesh in. The mesh is going to take a long time. The kit should go together nicely. Though I have a few things I want to pick up from Home Depot before I build them. Mainly some over priced prowood to cut squares to sit under the posts. I also need wood to repair the fence that blew down in the storm today anyway…

So I’m, for once, not doing it all at once. I’m going to get the frame up and contemplate the fronts and lids. I’m thinking siding (vinyl or metal?), some sort of plastic? Not sure what I want to use. I’m going to try to use the dovetail cuts in the posts for the fronts but I fear they will be too thin and I’ll need to resort to my diagram of how I would have made them if I didn’t have precut trench in the posts. So I’m gonna build it and see what I’m working with. I’m also going to see what Home Depot has and how much it costs. Because cost matters.

So yeah. I thought I was a farmer growing pumpkins! Now I’m getting into fucking composting. Good lord. Bring your food scraps over, I’ll dump them in my compost. But not yet because like, it’s not done and I don’t have freezer space. I know. I’m sad too. I’m gonna have to toss these rotten bananas. Next time, though, the rotten bananas are compost food!

Pumpkin Farming Adventures

Welp, the first pumpkin patch experiment continues. I’m learning a lot. It’s not going as well as I had hoped. Keeping up with their water needs has been a huge pain. I had to get a cheap irrigation line and timer. The timer runs every 6 hours (it was that or every 12). They still wilt in the afternoon heat.

But then, global warming is killing us. Like literally, it’s cooking us.

Then I thought, maybe the water was draining through too fast. So I rigged up milk jugs to fill with the water and slowly disperse it through a pin hole. They perk up right after watering, but I worry how it will affect the fruit.

Slugs have also proven to be a problem. I expected assault from above and so I used insect netting. Turns out slugs were coming out between the mesh barrier and concrete and munching my leaves. I went out one night and saw the fuckers just eating away! WTF?

At first, they just terminated two vines early. But by the time I got slug bait/poison, they got to the heart of one plant and the main vine of another. Here’s how they looked this weekend:

Last night, I went out and cut off all the yellow leaves and found the heart of the problem. They had directly attacked the main vine. It has healed, but all that yellow in the middle died. Here it is today:

So frustrating! That’s the Jack-o’-lantern plant that had a month head start over the others. It takes 120 days to mature so it went out early. Bastard slugs!

Still, I’m finally getting some female flowers to pollinate! You can see that I removed the insect mesh since it wasn’t doing any good. I decided it would better serve me to cover more ground to keep out slugs and keep the weed vines from tangling with my pumpkin vines.

The past two mornings I’ve been able to go and fertilize two females each morning. Two minis and two large. Tomorrow, another large should bloom.

Im not sure if it was the slugs or my pinching off the male flowers that was causing my females to prematurely fall off. Maybe both. But now that I’m letting them bloom freely and removed the netting, there are many happy bees. Look at these cuties from this morning:

They were inside the prettiest vine. I think this is the vine that grows the big grey/green pumpkins. Love the variegated leaves and it has the prettiest flowers.

Unfortunately, it’s also the ones where the slugs attacked in the soil. I know because the marigolds I planted there are heavily munched. It is stunted, but still has some growth. No females on that one yet.

Lessons Learned So Far

I was very smart to put down a ground barrier. So smart that I used the insect netting to extend that barrier on the side. I used a sun sail and it is great. It’s thick and doesn’t let water sit long. Also blocks the light out and looks clean. However, I think the double layer of insect netting will serve the same purpose at a cheaper price. It’s much thinner. It will not keep light from the weeds, but it will keep them under it. It also stays wet longer, but I don’t think it’ll be too bothersome.

I like the twine that I tied from the plants (the poles that were holding up the netting) to stakes across the barrier. The vines want to grow towards the south and I’m training them to the East. I just inspect them every day or two to note female flowers and twist the latest growth around the twine. Also, since I’m growing in grow bags, the main plant is about 2 feet off the ground. This led to my first vine folding under its weight (had to use wood trim to support it). The twine has allowed me to slowly train the vines down to the ground while supporting the weight.

As for cons, well, slugs. I’ve got bug repellent and slug killer out now. The vines are so close together that it is murder to walk through for inspection. But I have to keep track of my female flowers. I only have one of each vine so I can’t rely on the pollinators. Maybe two of each type next year? Or make sure I use the same species so they can inter-pollinate? I will judge after the yield.

I’ve also let the vines on the sides spread out to make more room. I’m even letting the Jack-o’-lantern climb the stair railing to get it off the ground and away from the slugs.

The critter netting worked great until I could get everything growing well. Then, I added a layer of compost and a layer of mulch.

Instead of the cheapest timer, it might have been worth getting one with more customization options. Then I could water only in the heat of the day and not every 6 hours. Turn it on when it’s drooping and skip watering when it rains.

Another fail was using a cheap hose. I hooked up the timer with a cheap hose. It burst the next day. No shit. I guess it wasn’t meant to hold water pressure in a bend and full Alabama sun. Had to steal the hose from the garage for it!

This has been a more expensive and frustrating adventure than expected. Especially before this week. For two months I’ve been tracking female flowers only for them to fall off before they bloom. Now that I’m getting possible pumpkin babies, I’m much happier. I do hope they survive so I can watch them grow!

Oh, and I bought little labels to very loosely tie around the females to keep track of them. Super helpful when digging around in there to see if they’re soon to bloom. The females grow much closer to the main stem so you have to push leaves aside to find them.

It’s a big learning experience. I do hope to have something to show for it this Fall! It’s also been nice to watch it grow in that ugly rock corner. Such insanely large plants I started from seed!

Grow, my pumpkins, grow!