Category: General Nonsense

Some Things 08/05

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OK, It’s been a bit, I should post. Really this week was just hard. I’ve just been getting through. I’m tired, I don’t wanna go to work. I’m just getting through. But today was super nice. It was my off Friday. I had an appointment (AKA complete waste of time) with the dermatologist about my hair. He asked if I had any side effects from the medications. I don’t. He said awesome, see you in six months. So glad I drove across town and paid $50 for that.

1) Speaking of long week, people be driving crazy after work. I was behind a car at a green light that didn’t realize it was green. Probably messing with their phone. Coincidence had us both traveling the same way for a while. We were side by side on a main road and they weren’t slowing down for a red light. Now, these red lights are super short so a lot of us don’t slow down until the last minute because it’s likely to change before you get to it. But like, this person was pushing it. And they just breezed right through it. I swear to god, I don’t even think they knew they ran a red light. There was no braking of repentance after they blew through it — they just kept off into the sunset. People be crazy.

2) Mr C and I watched Season One of Stranger Things. It’s so good! Why have I not watched it?

3) I’m watching The Sandman now. It came out today. I’m 4 episodes in and loving it. I fear this is going to be another “Witcher” where I got out and buy all the books because I can’t wait for more.

4) My arms hurt. I got injections in my arm scars because they’ve keloided. Well, they hurt now. It sucks. I’ve been used to them being healed and not hurting and now they hurt again. It blows. Will this stuff even work? Does it take multiple injections? They’re all dark and bruised too. Lame.

5) Speaking of surgeries, boobs are still doing great. When I wear tight shirts, the janitor at work (who used to be a pharmacist in New York) tells me how great I look. She told me this again on Thursday so I ordered some more tight shirts. The Lane Bryant “Fit and Flare” shirts just look fantastic on me. I just can’t replace my whole wardrobe. I have a lot of good clothes that are a size too big. It’s not that I don’t want to wear the tight shirts.

And it’s weird. I’ve gained a lot of weight. But I still look rocking compared to before the surgeries. I have to keep telling myself, yeah the scale sucks — but damn, I’m looking good.

6) K2 has been coming over pretty much every weekend to do pool with me. It’s fantastic. I don’t really do pool by myself because it’s lonely. Especially with mom gone. So K2 coming over most off days has been awesome. Sometimes she just falls asleep in an eggplant, but it’s still good company.

By the way, the egg plants are dying. They’ve been on the way out for a bit but I was hoping they’d make it the rest of the summer. Naw, they need air at least every day now. Multiple times today. So I ordered two new ones.

7) I took out a yellow jacket nest today. Fuck those bastards. They were making a nest in my pool gate! Thank GOD K2 didn’t get stung. I had to take them down with spider killer ’cause I was out of wasp spray. There were at least 12 yellow jackets on there. I probably sprayed myself with cancer trying to keep them away from me. Fucking wasps.

8) Oh yeah, and my Family was in Florida this week. They all got covid. Covid Condo. Bro got it from work (he’s a doctor) and then tested positive when he got down there and gave it to everyone else. Sucks, man.

Some Things 6/12

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1) Two days ago, I decided to start working out again. My legs are jellofied again. I am not approved to work out chest yet, but I can work out my lower body. So I did 3 minutes (about 50) squats and 4 minutes of knee tucks on the floor. My legs have not forgiven me yet. They be hurting. Sitting down, getting up. They be hurting. My ass hurts too.

2) Boobie Party is next weekend! It snuck on up on me. Do I have to get rid of all the weeds around the pool now? Ugh. I’m not sure if I’m gonna do it after work one evening or just say fuck it.

3) I finally bought some clothes that fit my new boobs! I got a shirt from Lane Bryant that’s their “Fit and Flare” — holy shit. It looks so good, I ordered two more (different styles, same cut). I also got a dress I can wear braless. Never could have worn that before! Now if Torrid would just ship those capris I ordered last week…

4) A thought for the road:

Some Things 5/14

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1) So as you know, my precious cat Jack Jack is deaf. However, for 16 years, he’s “found” me by screaming for me. He wakes up and screams, I call out to him, he comes. So now he wakes up and screams, but gets nothing. So he just walks around screaming and caterwauling. This drives Mr C insane. But he did the sweetest thing.

I was laying down trying to get a nap when Jack started wailing and wailing and wailing. Mr C picked him up (he hardly ever touches the cat) and carried him into the bedroom where I was. Well, Jack didn’t see me immediately so he just screamed at Mr C till he finally walked over to me and Jack saw me waving at him. So Jack runs over for pets and Mr C goes back to his peace and quiet. So sweet of him to help my Jack Jack out.

2) Does your internal rage ever just jump immediately to full speed and you’re like “woooooah.” Like you didn’t even realize you were pissy and all the sudden you’re about to snap? That happened to me at Taco Mama. I was meeting up with friends for lunch. I was waiting in line. It’s important to know that at Taco Mama, the table numbers are just sharpied on triangles of wood. So he gets number 99. Now go away. Then he goes “haha, is it 99 or 66?”

Motherfucker, it won’t even stand up like that.

3) This job decision is really stressing me out. A lot more than it should. There’s so many pros and cons on both sides. I thought I had decided for sure — take the new position. But then I keep thinking of all the reasons not to. I’m not at peace about this.

Some Things 5/11

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1) Got my last surgical drain out! Hell yeah! It’s gonna be swimming time soon! I even got to try on all my bathing suits! Plus order a new top piece!

2) They picked up my rented lift recliner. Farewell, friend. He was a good recliner. Jack was sleeping in it when they came for it. We shall both miss it.

3) Filling out medical paperwork to see the dermatologist on Friday and there’s this drop down for marital status:

16 options? Really? I had to google what the fuck “Interlocutory” even is. It sounds like something that happens when the Borg assimilate you.

3) My pool still isn’t open and it’s still surrounded by huge weeds. HELP NEEDED.

Some Things 5/8

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1) How do people walk around using cracked phones? Friday I cracked the gorilla glass protector on my phone and it’s driving me insane. I ordered a new glass cover that will be here tomorrow but good lord it’s driving me crazy. How do yall put up with this shit? I’ve seen people using cracked phones for weeks. Fuck that, I’d be upgrading LOL

2) How do people with nipple piercings hide them? Since my breast lift, I’ve had a problem with pointy nipples. I sought help on the internet. How do you hide your pointy nipples? A lot of people use these silicone pasties, but I don’t want anything with adhesive since it gives me reactions sometimes. Someone suggested cotton balls – but like, really? I saw some makeup cotton pads in Ks guest bathroom and think I might try those. Turns out the only people who replied with nipple piercings just show them off loud and proud. Interesting.

3) I’ve been watching Sorted Food for the past few weeks/months. It’s a youtube food channel (linky). They’re doing a live viewing on the May 21st and K2’s gonna come over and we’re gonna make a day of watching them live record videos. Maybe with some pool intermissions.

4) For the love of God. I’m seeing the surgeon on Tuesday about removing my damn surgical drain. So great, right? Only today it has been draining DOUBLE. fuck you, drain! Are you kidding me? My pools gonna be open this week and I can’t even pretend to get in. And It’s not like I can just get in when the drains gone. The big hole has to heal up before I can get in. I’m going to a Memorial Day pool party with my family at my sister’s. She lets her dog swim in her pool. That shit has got to be healed solid before then! UGH. I’m honestly considering fudging the numbers.

5) Well, Mother’s Day. It hasn’t been so bad. I’ve tried to just ignore it. I sent my mother-in-law some live succulents earlier in the week so I took care of that. But I didn’t wish her a happy mother’s day today. Kinda on purpose. It just feels wrong. I wanna cancel this holiday forever.

I did plant some things in honor of mom. I put fresh sun ferns on the front porch. I planted the planter on the back stoop. It would look gorgeous if it wasn’t against the backdrop of 4 foot weeds sprouting through the pool rocks. I wonder if my boobs can handle a little weed eating? I’ll ask the doctor Tuesday.

Some Things 4/9

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1) Why is it never just standard size? I’m trying to replace a cover on our sprinkler system. Almost all of these covers all over the internet are 6 inch and 10 inch. So I ordered those. Nope. Mines somewhere between the two. The only 7 inch ones only come with the whole box, not just a lid option. Bastards! It’s never an easy fix is it?

2) Spring is in the air. We finally had our jungle of a lawn mowed. It looks ok now 🙂 The weeds don’t look like weeds if you mow them. Honestly, I wish we could just have a clover lawn. They make micro clover now that only grows 3 inches tall. Why spend all this effort on grass? I’d rather the clover. It’s not like we have an HOA. I’ll get Mr C on board one day.

3) I literally, JUST NOW, booked my tattoo appointment for November. Devon Greig Saturday November 5th. It’s a birthday present to myself! I’m so excited! I talked her into doing it piecemeal. She wanted to outline the whole sleeve at once. However, I’d like to do it in pieces. One, I want Jack first and as soon as possible. I also want completed pieces and not a partial tattoo for a few months between color sessions. And I think I’ll be able to tie more memories to it doing it in bits. Also, we can’t get to the scar cover ups for a whole 2 – 3 years. So the sleeve can’t be completed right now anyway.

4) Speaking of tattoos. I think the scars on my back are going to show in some bathing suits. So after my sleeve, I think I’ll want to cover my side scars in something. Thing is, I have no idea what. I don’t want a tattoo that goes all the way across my back. It’s just gonna “peek-a-boo” on each side where the scars in my bra line are. Good thing I have 2 years to contemplate this.

5) Ok, obviously I still have my tummy tuck revision drains. I’m sure I’ll have them the rest of the month. But man, the line has healed up great. I’m so so happy with the tummy tuck results. I love seeing my side view in the mirror without a huge stomach pudge. Not a belly — that pudge of skin I had that always stuck out further than my breasts. Now it’s gone! So happy with it.

6) Breasts are still healing. The massaging makes them sore. And I’ve got that popped stitch on my back which is a pain. Reaching for things tugs on your back skin — so where those incisions are is just a bitch. And the mismatch of the skin where the stitch popped — ugh it makes me shiver in disgust if I touch it. I hope it smooths out as it heals. But I’m not too worried. Even if it needs a revision, that’s something he can do in office with a little local anesthetic in the back and snip snip.

Still in the recliner. Might extend the rental another week. I can lay in the bed, but maneuvering around with my arms hurts because it engages my chest muscles. If I was only laying down and getting up once, that’s fine. But I’ve got to get up to pee a few times.

Plus my Jack likes me in the recliner. Will he start sleeping with me in the bed? I don’t know. But I love that he sleeps with me in the recliner.

7) Return to normal work schedules is Monday. I get to define what the will look like for me. I’m not sure what I want. I definitely don’t want to go in early. I like how my office mate works — he only goes in in the afternoons. But I’d also like to stay home some days. I think I’ll start with Monday thru Thursday in office afternoons and mornings and Fridays from home. See how that works out.

Some Things 3/4

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1) New highlight moment:

Backstory – I always preorder my deli meat so i don’t have to wait in line to get it cut. Also, I’m wearing capris to show off my sweet goomba tattoo.

*I Grab my ham from deli fridge*

Deli guy: “Are you picking up for Roberta?”

“No,” *indicates ham* “I got mine.”

Deli guy: *100% talking to my goomba (its obvious, its my ankle, approximately 5 feet below my eyes):* “You’re [Mrs C]?”

“Yes. Thank you”

Deli Guy: *Still starring down my goomba* Cool

Goomba basically got cat-called, yall! Mr C better watch out. Soon all the young nerds will be torn on whether to look at my new boobs or my sweet 8-bit tattoo.

Also, Roberta is a terrible name. Surely, Roberta would not sport such a cool gem as this.

EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION: He called me by my name, not “Mrs C.” No, he did not recognize me from my blog. No one reads this shit, especially not the guy from the deli down the street. He probably sees my name on online orders all the time from my deli meat and picking up subs for Mr. C so was just associating a face (actually a goomba) with a name.

2) I live in a swamp. People might not know it’s a swamp because it’s highly developed with nice housing, but dude, you live in a swamp. So the wet areas are really wet. This leads to swarms of frogs. Frogs singing in such loud masses that it sounds like a summer song. I’ve only ever heard this in Florida — Specifically, from the roof of the condominium we have stayed at every year since I was conscious of time. The frogs in the undeveloped lot across the street that was there when I was little. So hearing them now makes me a little nostalgic for my mom. Us going up to the 16th floor to look at the ocean and the lights and hearing the song of the frogs. It’s bittersweet.

3) My second surgery is in less than TWO WEEKS!

4) I recently found myself with a few hours shooting the breeze with a lawyer. Vaccines came up, of course. You go through the “do you want me to wear a mask, I’m vaccinated, but if it’ll make you more comfortable” — usually because I’m wearing a mask. They’re required at work and I wear them to the store and stuff. So we were discussing how hard it was to get the vaccine when it first came out and we were both in the “give me that shit” category. Now of course a lot of people are antivax. Those people suck. Good thing you weren’t around when we needed to eradicate polio.

Tangent, sorry.

So he was curious how my fellow engineers reacted to being required to have the vaccine. (We work government contracts in this city, so it was a requirement until some court shit postponed it). I told him everyone I knew was all for it! We’re engineers. We think logically, not emotionally (“which is why you don’t like us on your jurys”). We work with SMEs all the time. Subject Matter Experts. We are well aware and taught that some people know way more about this thing that you can ever hope to know. A lot of us become SMEs in our career. We wrote the damn program and were on it from its conception. You’re the SME. Just like my lawyer is my law SME. I don’t know shit about the law, so I pay him. So when the engineers were told by a shit ton of medical SMEs that we better get the vaccine — we didn’t worry and hem and haw. They know more than I ever could about it. The people I immediately work with felt the same. We were gunning to get that shit in our arms LOL

Be smart. Listen to the SME. Doesn’t make you a sheep. A sheep can’t tell who the SME is. I’ll give you a hint, the SME didn’t get their degree from youtube.

5) This shit is fucking delicious:

Ascent Recovery Water. I was in Sprouts looking for something low carb to drink as I was thirsty. Grabbed this watermelon water. Holy shit. It’s fucking delicious. Tons of flavor! And after I drank it I was looking over the bottle — 20 grams of protein! What? It has whey in it. But it was crystal clear pink water. Is this sorcery? Why is sorcery always so expensive!? If this was affordable, I’d drink them daily for sure!

Angel Number

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So today, while being a terrible person and looking at Facebook on my phone instead of better things, I saw Misha Collins post about “Angel Numbers” — cause yesterday was Twos-day. 2/22/22 (in American notation). So he posted a number to text for your angel. Well, im in a funk so I texted it.

“Hello Angel Number, I’m very depressed and worried about my job and lack of contributions, knowledge, and motivation. I think I’m not good enough to do it and I don’t have that drive to dive i and figure it out. And the upcoming court mediation Friday is gonna be a cluster fuck. If I get the max, I won’t recoup 10% of my losses and they’re no offering the max even. C’est la vie.”

Then it asked me if I was a Russian bot and I kept texting cause I got shit to say.

“I am, in fact, not a Russian bot. Just a down in the dumps software engineer. I feel so screwed. I had a car accident that caused me to miss almost a year of work so I lost the job I liked and about 80k. When I got the OK to go back to work, I got put on a shitty contract. I hated it so I left for this job in November. But now I feel woefully unqualified and my depressive instinct is to shut down rather that pick up the reigns. Now we’re finally trying to settle with insurance over 2 years later and they’re offering 7k. No, thats not a typo. They’re offering 10% of my missed wages. AND I have to pay back for medical care, disability benefits, taxes, and of course the lawyer get 40%. I’m getting fucked!”

“I wish I could focus on the good stuff in my life. I’m finally getting plastic surgery to spiff up after massive weight loss. The second surgery is set for March 15th. I wish my mom could see! But oh yeah, she died of COVID before there was a vaccine. “

“I miss my momma and I hate my job. I’m crying to a text number dammit.”

“Mustn’t cry during work hours. At least I finally got my super sweet goomba tattoo.”

“Oh and no worries, I’m not a suicide risk. I have a psychiatrist and I take Valium PLUS 3, yes 3 antidepressants. And I have an awesome husband and cat. Oh yeah, the cats in stage 3 kidney failure with a heart murmur. When the cat goes, I’m gonna lose it.”

“I hope I can get his tattoo before he dies. He’s like my little familiar soul cat, At one my, my soul reason to live was that cat. He kept me going. I want his portrait.”

Jack!
Jack – my beloved spiritual familiar in cat form.

“Look at my handsome Jack!”

“I want Megan Massacre in New York to do it but she’s crazy famous and I’m in Alabama. My next choice is Devon Greig who did this sweet goomba on me. “

“*sigh* Thanks for listening, Angel Number.”

Some Things 2/19

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1) Chicken bologna has 4 carbs per slice. Beef bologna has less than 1 carb per slice. What the fuck are they putting in that chicken bologna?

2) Jack had his vet visit for vaccinations and kidney check up on Friday. They took him back to get blood and returned with one tech holding him and another scrunching his neck while he growled like a feral. “I’ll take that. Sorry.” LOL Then they found a heart murmur. Booo. So they wanted to get a blood pressure. The vet wanted them to take him back and the poor tech was like, can we do it in here? He’s calm with his mother. Again, sorry yall. So I held him while they did everything else. His blood pressure was fine. His kidney levels are, as expected, still stage 3 failure but have improved by like .01. And he hasn’t lost any weight. So good on that front!

Unfortunately she said cats don’t usually show signs of heart trouble. And the sign of a heart murmur is usually just finding them suddenly dead. Well, can’t fault them for holding back. So thats nice. Now he has kidney failure and a heart problem. Nothing to be done for the heart problem since his blood pressure was fine. Oh and they are transitioning him from the kidney pills to a power you mix in his food. Nice! He still has the liquid to take, but now we dont have to wrestle with pills twice a day. Which will be great when I’m recovering from surgery…

3) I had my pre-op on Friday! Breasts are paid for and scheduled for march 15th. I’m having the side and back fat removed and a lift with implants. They’re also gonna do a revision to my tummy tuck to get more skin now that my swelling has gone down so much. Yay! I’m more excited since I got to REALLY sit down and talk about size with the nurse. They’re gonna order multiple implants (high profile, smooth silicone gummy implants). I’m asking to be around a DD but not bigger as I don’t want shopping for bras to be difficult. She assured me they’ll try different sizes and the whole team of nurses and the professional plastic surgeon will all weigh in on what looks best. So I feel more relaxed about it.

She also gave me one of their bras (you have to buy your own but they had a few) to show me what to get. I thought my current zip fronts were fine but they’re not because they’re flattering and push your boobs together. Apparently we don’t want that. We want the implants exactly where the doctor put them. So the bra she gave me has absolutely no support. Why ever wear it? So I ordered two more of them so I’ll have 3 total.

I’m gonna have drain(s?) again. UGH.

4) Jack wasn’t the only one getting vaccinations Friday. I got my Covid booster shot. Woot!

Midlife Crisis or New Level Unlocked? You decide

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So I’ll be 40 this year. I’m cool with it. The older I am, the closer to retirement I am! Also, I’m happy with where I am in my life. Good husband, decent career, great credit score, own a house with a pool, good friends, decent family relationships, fucking awesome cat. So I don’t think I’m having a mid-life crisis. I’m just making a lot of changes.

New arms, new stomach, new boobs (all through drastic plastic surgeries) — and some fucking sweet tattoos. Like full in on the new bod and tattoos. I’m getting a sleeve, yall. We’re all-in here. And this was somewhat brought on by my turning 40.

It’s like dude, I’m getting old — if not now, then when? And who’s to tell me no? And why not? Like, bitch I’m 40, what say do you have in my life? Career? I can cover the tats if it’s a big deal or an interview. Long sleeves and pants — check. Husband? He hasn’t objected. In fact he’s pretty jazzed about the boobs. Family? Meh, mom was the only one who would have had any weight, and well, we know how 2020 took her out. Friends? Why would a friend object? I hope I don’t choose friends so badly.

So yeah, I’m halfway through this bullshit we call life. I think I’m doing OK at it. I feel like 40 brings a new freedom. Is that a mid-life crisis or mid-life catharsis? I’m not trying to regain my youth — fuck that, my 20s were a shit show. So was my youth. Fuck that shit. It’s more like: now I have permission. It’s a shame I don’t have hair I could dye amazing colors. I’m too hot-natured for wigs as an alternative. Gonna have to put all the color in the sleeve.