It’s March. Again.

It’s March. Yall ready for this? ‘Cause last year wasn’t none of our asses ready. We’re still getting our asses kicked from the clusterfuck that was last March. You got your toilet paper? Your prescriptions? Charged the batteries in your car jumpers and emergency power banks? You got plenty of gas? You make sure the food and batteries in the tornado shelter aren’t expired? You ready to build a fire for the next Winter-Storm-Of-1993? Washed all your masks? Spare cash? We gotta be ready for anything.

“Beware the Ides of March.” Ides of March my ass! Caesar ain’t going down, we all are.

Things I didn’t have last March:

  • Spare freezer.
  • Toilet paper stash.
  • Preferred branch of paper towels stash.

Things I did have last March:

  • A mother.
Emergency Supplies

Be ready, bitches.

Work Conversation

Possible future conversation:

“<Mrs C>, did you merge code with nothing in the comment but ‘yay’?”

“Probably.”

“That’s not a meaningful commit message.”

“It is to me.”

Speaking of work conversations, I miss them.  When I come into work, I walk into a small open lab with three other people.  I say “hey.”  I’m always met with silence.  Good morning to you too, fuckers. 

I miss work lunches and light-hearted afternoon conversations.  I miss liking the people I work with enough to invite them over to play board games.  My three true friends are all people I met at various jobs.  When you’re an adult, that’s usually where you meet new people. 

Half of my team has already moved from the shared work space to the cubicles.  It happens to be the most talkative people on the team, and my two favorite team members.  Meanwhile, I’m still in the lab with DeBitch.  So I think it will improve when the last of us finally get moved into the cubicles.  Which is always “soon.”  It’s been “soon” since October.  At least I won’t be face to face with DeBitch all day.  Then theoretically I start my NEW contract on October.  With a whole new workplace and a whole new team and a whole new job working on shit I actually know about.  COME ON, OCTOBER! 

Some Things 2/13

  • I used the last of J’s first kidney pill prescription today. 90 pills. I’ve given this cat 90 pills now. Has it gotten easier? Fuck no. He’s no quitter. He’ll take that pill when you shove it down his throat while he fights you off. 90 times.
  • Did you know you can use GoodRX for pet medications? You can! I can get his pain meds for half the cost at Publix and same for his IV fluids on Chewy.com. Also, Chewy.com sells IVs and IV fluids. Interesting.
  • Chop Chop is way over priced. It’s a damn good salad, don’t get me wrong. I don’t even like salads. And it’ll fill you up. But come on, $17 for a salad and a cup of water? Did I move to LA? What the fuck?

It’s like magic! Or not.

So the air conditioning and heating system at work seems a bit wonky.  I don’t think it was designed for all these closed labs.  So every time you open a lab door you have to overcome the pressure differential between the lab and the hallway and there’s a gust of air.  In one of the bigger labs, this pressure differential is pretty significant.  We all joke about it.  Even strangers make small talk jokes about it when we’re opening the door.  I have to lean into it with my full body to have enough force and then the gust of wind is enough to feel like you’re exiting a cabin in the snowy Alps on a gusty day. 

So basically you get a good hard breeze once you overpower the door.  Enough to blow your hair and clothes like a Pantene commercial.   It reminds me of when magic spells are cast or broken on TV and the gust of energy that bursts forth knocks everyone over.  Like I should be entering Narnia through this damn door. 

But there’s no Narnia.  Just a shitty hallway.  Major let down.  Maybe one day it’ll be Narnia?

Just thought I’d share.

Some Things 1/15

1) I’m trying to get stuff for the funeral organized. We need to pick a photo for the main mom photo. But my sisters are still too distraught to look at photos. Sister I was talking to said she didn’t even leave her room yesterday. She just ate some cottage cheese she had in the fridge down there. Okay, thats not healthy.

Also, I can’t shut down. I have a job and a mortgage and a husband and a cat I had to take the the vet today. I know she’s fucked up and grieving but I kinda want to smack her. Get off your damn ass.

2) Took the cat the vet today. The good news is, all of his levels have improved! I think the vet was very impressed that I followed directions. She basically treated me like I was a good dog. I’m cool with that. Go me!

Problem is he’s still in kidney failure. I got the copies of his labs so I could look stuff up. He’s right at the bottom levels (good end) of stage 3 failure. Ugh. So I don’t think he’s going to get off the fluids and stuff. He has an average life expectancy of 2 years at this point. Let’s make ’em good.

After the bath, he was licking himself so much he had a hair ball… in the new heated cat bed. He was obsessed with it and now he wont go near it. Fuck. It’s like Mr C and grape juice. He’s traumatized now.

3) Someone was using “my” bathroom stall at work and it was surprisingly weird. There is like one bathroom per floor where I work with 6 stalls. I always use the same stall. Row 2, Stall A. It’s a good one. Row 1 Stall B runs forever. 1 A flushes too much (sensor calibration issues). I can’t use a handicapped stall so I stick with my safe 2 A. But the other day someone was in there! I had to use one of the handicapped stalls.

Am I the only one who always uses the same stall?

Some Things 1/10

1) K came through with the most adorable, soft, crocheted blanket for my familiar. It’s now adding more padding and a shit ton more style to his heated cat bed. What a good friend. It’s such a sweet comforting gesture when I could REALLY use it. I wish I could show mom. I love you, K!

Fuzzy

2) I saw a Lysol commercial today. We’re still smack in the middle of Covid (for future reference). Has ANYONE seen a bottle of Lysol since February last year? Why are they spending money on advertising? It’s not an old commercial either – it said it kills the Covid virus in the commercial. We fucking KNOW, Lysol. Put your money into getting that shit on the shelves. You think you need to advertise your product right now? It’s aerosol gold.

Wait. Let me check something.

There is literally an 8 pack on ebay for $129.99 plus $19.99 shipping right now. People are scalping Lysol. And they’re advertising.

3) I’m using wool dryer balls now. How hippie is that? We finally ran out of dryer sheets and these things are supposed to last forever without all the chemicals. Do they really prevent static? We shall see… free-trade, ethically sourced-from Nepal, hand-felted by little old hippie ladies, happy sheep dryer balls. We shall see.

Some Things 1/05

1) Per Request, I’ve tried to get an email subscription set up for the blog.  On the side bar is a place you can enter your email to get notifications of new posts.  Test it out and let me know if it works.  Or not, I won’t be insulted.  It should send my new posts to your email box so you don’t have to bother visiting the site to see if I’ve posted. 

2) I added two pages to the menu at the top.  A contact form so people can bitch at me, and an about me page.  But what the fuck do I put on my about me page?  Suggestions?  Is a picture of my cat allowed?  I don’t want my name associated with this site, but once you find this site, you’d know it was me pretty easily so is showing my cat a problem?  Hell, is showing me a problem?  Opinions?

3) My precious got a heated cat bed and a third kidney food to try today.  I was disappointed in the cat bed at first but then I woke up from a nap on the couch and he was in it.  So success!  If it’s super successful, maybe ill clean off my night stand and put one there.  Don’t tell Mr C. 

4) I just mangled the spelling of successful so badly that Microsoft word was like “I got nothing” when It tried to help.  Fuck you, you knew what I was trying to say.

5) K, is knitting my cat a little blanket for his new bed! How SWEET! Like you know someones your friend when you’re upset and they decide to knit your cat a blanket. Thats fucking awesome.

Blogging… Again?

So this isn’t my first blog.  I have to admit I blogged before.  I liked it.  I’m a talker.  I’ve had two blogs.  One for friends and stuff and another for more… adult purposes.  What, like you’ve never been on the internet and horny?  Don’t judge me. 

Anyway, I have no filter.  And I was always 100% honest on my blog.  Just raw me.  Which was fine.  Until… I got engaged.  Yeah.  In laws.  In laws that would soon be googling this person their brother/son is dating.  Fuck me.  My mother in law goes to mass every single day.  And she gifted me a book on how to be a good Catholic wife and it says that birth control and blowjobs are sins.  Listen, my Christian people split with the Catholics back with Luther in the 1500s.  We allow blowjobs.  I mean it’s not specified.  But we teach that sex is supposed to be a sacred but highly enjoyable part of marriage.  Go forth and fuck.  But the Catholics believe sex is only good if you’re providing a way to become pregnant or something. 

When I went to visit once, his mom saw my pill tray and commented to him aside that I take a lot of pills.  Fuck yeah I take a lot of pills.  I have 3 different antidepressants alone.  I can’t have these people knowing my in depth, raw personality.  They’re too uptight.  So I quit.  

But now moms dead and I need someone to talk to about the shit in my life.  So here we are.  Anonymously this time.