Category: Family

Vacation Acts 2 & 3

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I’m writing this from the airport.  Where we have been all day.  We left the cottage at 8:30 for a 12:20 fight.  It’s now 2:15.  Our connection flight was canceled.  They wanted us to stay overnight and all day tomorrow in the airport and leave for home at 9:30 tomorrow night.  So we had to reroute and deal with customer service.  Now were flying out at 5:30 and arriving home at midnight – HOPEFULLY.  This trip has been a travel nightmare.  And American Airlines is, of course, blaming all the delays and cancellations on weather.  That way they don’t have to reimburse you or pay for food and hotels.  Such fucking bullshit.  It’s the lies that really piss me off.  

Our vacation was great though.  I usually don’t like this trip much because the cottage is far too small and unairconditioned and has a single bathroom for 6 grown adults.  However, with just the 4 of us siblings, it was great.  I mean, we all feel bad that it was great.  Of course, it’s sad we didn’t get to see Mr C’s parents.  However, it was really nice just being the siblings.  It was so much more chill.  And so much more roomy. 

We went to the beach almost every day.  I got in the ocean a lot.  I lost my mountain toppers on the second ocean adventure.  I managed to hang onto my glasses when an unexpected wave nailed me but the toppers slipped from my grasp.  They were my favorites too.  After that, I just didn’t wear toppers in the ocean.  I’m learning.  Slowly. 

We played a lot of games.  I even joined in the family tradition of pinochle which I’ve refused for a decade.  Mr C’s family is SERIOUS about pinochle.   They even buried his grandma with a perfect pinochle hand.  So we played 3 games.  Mr C and I lost the tie breaker last night.  This pinochle participation shall never be spoken of outside of the group. 

We also played a ton of Splendor.  I brought the fancy glass gems and metal doubloons set I got for Christmas.  The gem set costs more than the actual game.  But playing a game with really nice pieces makes such a huge difference.  It’s so much more fun to really hold the gems and gold and feel fancy.  We played Five Crowns too.  I won last night! 

So vacation was really good.  Now, if we can just get home, we’ll be solid.     

UPDATE:  It’s now Sunday morning.  After I wrote the above post, we got delayed and canceled again.  We rerouted and arrived home after a late connection in Miami.  I was getting into bed at 3:00am.  Oh, and they lost our luggage.  Fucking American Airlines.  We really enjoyed the trip but this was the trip travel from travel hell:

1 Saturday flight out, canceled.

2 Sunday we arrived at the airport, got a pat down at security and it was canceled after we sat there two hours. 

3 Monday we finally made it out on a delayed flight.  We made our connection because it was also delayed.  Arrived at the cottage at 3:00 AM

4 We arrive to fly home at 9:30am.  First Saturday flight gets pushed back further and further and further.  We spend hours at Gate 8.

5 Find out the connection we are about to fly to is canceled. 

6 Reroute through a different airport that has a connection to home.  Also going to leave from Gate 8. Decide that Gate 8 is really just the “fuck you” gate. Flight gets pushed back so many times that we are in jeopardy of missing the home connection. 

7 Rebook on a flight that leaves a little sooner to make the connection.

8 Leave Boston around 6:00pm.  Arrive to find the connection has been pushed back.   

9 Home connection gets pushed back, like five times.  We were supposed to arrive home at midnight with the new flights (was going to be 630pm with the original booking).  We got home at 2am. 

10 Our luggage apparently never even left Boston.  Still waiting to hear from them on that. 

But I saved the toppers!

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Yesterday, I dove into the icy waters off the coast of Maine. I’m not traveling to a beach and not getting in the water. Even if it is really fucking cold. Painfully so. I got half-way and decided to fully commit. And the best way to fully commit is to dive in. I swim with my glasses all the time at home so I know the toppers fall off in the water a lot. So I took my sunglasses topper off to hold onto. Then I waited for a big wave and dove right in!

My glasses went with the wave. Yep, right over my head.

I kinda just wrote them off as gone. I could easily order a new pair from “Pair” for under a hundred dollars. It would suck going the rest of the week without glasses, but not cripple me. I’m like -3 in my prescription. So everything would just be blurry. But we’re not sight seeing here.

Thankfully, my Brother-In-Law and Sister-In-Law were with me to help me frantically search the waves. Somehow BIL found them. It felt like five minutes of searching but maybe it was closer to two. We were panicking. I tried to communicate to husband back on the beach what had happened, but he didn’t realize. I guess I was still holding my twenty five dollar topper so he probably assumed I was holding my glasses.

Anyway, lesson learned. Don’t dive in the ocean with your glasses on. Its funny, I’ve worn my glasses in the gulf many times and never had them fall off. However, they fall off in the pool sometimes while I’m falling off a float or something. They’re just really easy to retrieve in a pool. Not so much in the Atlantic.

Thanks, BIL!

2022 Vacation: Act 1: Closed

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After three days of attempted travel, we have arrived. We were supposed to fly out on Saturday. Then on Sunday. Then third time was a charm with an overnight Monday night. But it was not without its battles. I tested positive for bomb residue.

So I go through the human scanner, and OF COURSE, I light up bright red in my crotch again. I had plenty of time to ask why I always trigger the damn thing and apparently my clothes (especially my crotch) are too baggy. The machine isn’t looking for metal, I’m told — just unusual shapes. Good to know! She recommend traveling in jeans or leggings next time. Side note: I wonder if you can see breast implants on that thing? I totally bet you can see them. But yeah, back to bombs.

Now I gotta get the feel up again. So we go through the dance and she tests my hands for bomb residue. BAM! False positive. Okay, though, this person isn’t a bomber — lets do this right. So now I get the fully monty pat down with a fresh set of gloves. She makes sure to touch every area of my person. Then she screens my hands again AND her gloves. Fucking false positive. Now they’re taking my bag (that had already passed the scanner successfully) away.

My bag gets a deep dive but there’s nothing interesting in it. Now there’s a policeman and a new TSA agent for me. She explains everything shes gonna do. Again, I don’t speed hear so I’m like whatever, do what you gotta do lady. I didn’t ask for privacy either because fuck that. So I look over to my husband and tell him that I think if I test positive a third time, I’ll probably go to TSA jail. Not like, they’ll arrest me, but I bet Id get taken to another location for further testing, ya know? We already brought a cop over.

So new TSA lady puts on fresh gloves and does the full monty pat down again. I offer up my hands but she’s like “oh no, we’re not testing your hands again.” She then just tests her gloves (which had been all over me). Green light! Woot! Bomb free! Third time a charm, baby! Thats when I knew this flight would work and not get delayed a fucking third time. We’re totally rolling on third times a charm luck.

So, apparently, some lotions and soaps can make you false positive on those things. But the only lotion I use is on my tattoo. I KNOW, I’m a horrible person. Plus I had passed the extra screening on Sunday night with no problem. So *shrug.* I guess we, thankfully, won’t find out where a third positive leads you. There’s always the trip home though.

I’ll take the time to point out, the TSA agents were super polite and lovely to work with. No one was an asshole. It was only women that felt me up and we were in view of everyone (by my own choice). I was watching the bag search. I wasn’t in some detained area, I was just a rock in the TSA river that everyone else had to flow around. Like my husband, who passed without problem. As always.

Mr C’s sister picked us up from the airport and we arrived at the cottage around 3am. That would be 2am in our home time-zone. And now it’s 6am and I’m awake. Not sure if it’s the anxiousness or the humidity or what. I mean, it is super fucking humid with NO AC. At least we are here and the ocean is lovely. Maybe I shall go lay back down?

OH WAIT! I forgot another great tid-bit. K is cat sitting for me. You know my precious Jack (cat) requires medication twice a day. Well, K went over to give him his evening doses and triggered our alarm system. Since we were traveling, we missed the calls. So the security company called the cops. Who then went to visit K. I have to get the full play by play from her soon, but she said she was in her pjs and the cops were cute. I regret not having that Ring Camera anymore.

How to make TSA agents laugh

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So yesterday our flight was canceled. But not before we made it through security and waited almost 2 hours at the gate. For some reason, I always flag at the human-being scanner. This time I flagged a lot of yellows and bright red on my crotch. Nice. So I got felt up. The lady sped through all the ways she was gonna feel me up and asked me if I understood and I was like “No, but do what you gotta do.” She asked me if I wanted to move somewhere, private but I don’t care. So I got felt up. I also got the bomb residue screening.

Then I’m waiting on my husband and my bag. Husband goes through with a bright green window. So lame. I told him I just got felt up and he just breezes through! WTF? So now I’m grabbing my bag after it went through the scanner and my husbands bag gets taken. So I laugh and say “I got felt up but they took you shit!”

This made at least two agents laugh. You’re welcome.

Also, another passenger said at least the feel up was free. So there’s that. We’ll try again tonight. But I need to remind husband to take the scissors out of his backpack.

Travels

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We should be on vacation right now, but our flight last night was canceled 3 hours before we were to board. So the soonest flight we could get out is now tonight. Yay travel! I hate flying with a passion. So many people. So much cramped space. So much chewing and smacking. UGH.

This years family trip will be very different from normal. It’s not my favorite destination. Too many bugs, too much walking, no air conditioning. I grew up on beach trips. You go get hot as hell by the ocean and then come up and cool off in the frigid AC. Its nice. Mr C doesn’t like the beach much though, so we alternate family vacations.

This year unfortunately, his father came down with Covid. While he’s much improved and doing great, we still don’t wanna travel to stay with someone who’s probably still contagious. I believe in following the CDC guidelines because I think they’re like the lowest expectations they could legally set. Bare minimum rules. And they say don’t travel for 10 days. So we had the EXTREMELY uncomfortable situation of discussing with his parents, who paid for the cabin — who’s going, us or you? They decided it would be better used on us. Us being my husband and his brother and sister. So it’s a sibling trip now.

It is a huge change in plans, but I think maybe it’ll be nice. The cabin is far too small for everyone and always has been. So there’s now enough beds for us all. And less of us sharing a single bathroom. And we can all fit at the dining table.

I hope it will be good bonding time with the in-law siblings. Hopefully we’ll get to relax. And be cool enough to sleep well.

Wish me luck on the flights. I hate flying so so so so much.

UPDATE: Tonight’s flight got canceled too! WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE? We’re gonna give it another try tomorrow. Third times a charm right? And if tomorrow fails us, we’re gonna have to cancel. Cross your fingers we make it tomorrow.

“Friends”

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I don’t have a huge network of friends. And of those I do, I only count a handful as close, dependable, REAL friends. The people you can count on to be there in an emergency. The people who I trust. The people I am equally loyal to. I count loyalty as a prime virtue. I may have a slightly skewed sort of ethics, but I have strong morals and loyalty to your peeps is one of the top tenets. Perhaps I take it too seriously.

Do you really need the type of friendships who would keep your darkest secrets and perhaps help you bury a body? Probably not. But I just don’t have enough emotional capacity to give myself fully to someone only to find I was nothing to them. I like to think I’m a good friend. If I give you my loyalty and love, I like to think it’s worth something. I don’t half ass friendships. I’d rather have 3 good people than a hundred colleagues. Could also be because I generally really hate people.

Again, maybe I just take it too deep. But I keep my friends closer to my heart than family. Blood isn’t always thicker than water. I choose my family. So when I count someone as family and I lose them, it breaks my heart a little. To realize you mean so little to someone… It hurts.

C is one of those people. I realized this a few years ago. I’m only called upon when something is needed. When the sun is shining, I don’t exist to her. It was a hard bite to chew. But I was right. I was there for her, but she could never be there for me. I never even heard from her when my mother died. Though when her cat died, I researched the healing stones bullshit she’s into and sent her a cat carved from a stone meant to heal a broken heart. But when my heart was shattered, I didn’t even get a call.

We had her over on Wednesday. Haven’t seen her since last year. I had hoped maybe she’d notice my hair was thickening. She didn’t, but that doesn’t mean it’s not. I still hold hope. I cut it shorter in a if-you-cut-it, it-will-come kinda thing. I thought she’d comment on my new body after three plastic surgeries. She did not. My sweet husband even tried to steer the conversation that way by mentioning that I had waited to start my tattoo sleeve until my arms were done. Rather than a light bulb and her asking how it went or to look at them or see the scars or ANYTHING, it just led to a conversation about her tattoos. The whole visit was just a life dump from her. She didn’t care about what had been going on with me or Mr C. It was just two hours of her life.

I just can’t give my love to a freaking black hole. She only takes. C’est la vie.

Some Things 5/8

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1) How do people walk around using cracked phones? Friday I cracked the gorilla glass protector on my phone and it’s driving me insane. I ordered a new glass cover that will be here tomorrow but good lord it’s driving me crazy. How do yall put up with this shit? I’ve seen people using cracked phones for weeks. Fuck that, I’d be upgrading LOL

2) How do people with nipple piercings hide them? Since my breast lift, I’ve had a problem with pointy nipples. I sought help on the internet. How do you hide your pointy nipples? A lot of people use these silicone pasties, but I don’t want anything with adhesive since it gives me reactions sometimes. Someone suggested cotton balls – but like, really? I saw some makeup cotton pads in Ks guest bathroom and think I might try those. Turns out the only people who replied with nipple piercings just show them off loud and proud. Interesting.

3) I’ve been watching Sorted Food for the past few weeks/months. It’s a youtube food channel (linky). They’re doing a live viewing on the May 21st and K2’s gonna come over and we’re gonna make a day of watching them live record videos. Maybe with some pool intermissions.

4) For the love of God. I’m seeing the surgeon on Tuesday about removing my damn surgical drain. So great, right? Only today it has been draining DOUBLE. fuck you, drain! Are you kidding me? My pools gonna be open this week and I can’t even pretend to get in. And It’s not like I can just get in when the drains gone. The big hole has to heal up before I can get in. I’m going to a Memorial Day pool party with my family at my sister’s. She lets her dog swim in her pool. That shit has got to be healed solid before then! UGH. I’m honestly considering fudging the numbers.

5) Well, Mother’s Day. It hasn’t been so bad. I’ve tried to just ignore it. I sent my mother-in-law some live succulents earlier in the week so I took care of that. But I didn’t wish her a happy mother’s day today. Kinda on purpose. It just feels wrong. I wanna cancel this holiday forever.

I did plant some things in honor of mom. I put fresh sun ferns on the front porch. I planted the planter on the back stoop. It would look gorgeous if it wasn’t against the backdrop of 4 foot weeds sprouting through the pool rocks. I wonder if my boobs can handle a little weed eating? I’ll ask the doctor Tuesday.

Some Things 5/2

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1) It’s so hard to tell the difference between “I’m balding and I like naps” and hypothyroidism. Like yeah, OK, I guess you could describe me as “tired, lethargic, and losing hair.” I’m literally balding, and lazy though. So like, I don’t know. Give me more thyroid hormones. Sure, I’ll come back and let you test me again in a month. Why not?

2) Tomorrow, I have a skype interview for a configuration management (CM) position. It’s with the same company. They just really need a CM person and my software boss knows I have experience in both so she said I should apply and I could maybe do half and half. Well, as long as the pay is the same, I’m in! I’ve stayed the software route because it has higher earning potential long term. However, I’m happy with my currently salary. So if they can match it in CM, bring it on. I can do all the paperwork you bitches want. And I’m so unhappy with how uncertain I am with the job right now. I’m so out of my element. It’d be nice to have some easy wins.

3) In the past two weeks, I’ve seen my psychiatrist, my plastic surgeon, my primary care doctor, and my neurologist. Does it count that I had to go by Jack’s vet to get his meds today too? So much time shuffling!

4) My sister is mad at me. She wanted access to moms Facebook and it locked her out. She was accessing it through moms old phone that she never should have had access to as it belonged to me and I had specified it be given to my other sister who needed a new phone as that’s what mom would have wanted. Other sister never got the phone. Sister1 kept it and has been using it to access her Facebook and pictures and I’m sure her private messages too. So…

Facebook locked her out. So she tried to recover the password with moms email that she’s also been accessing. But gmail locked her out. So she contacted me. I’m the recovery email for all of moms accounts. Why? Because I would set shit up for her when she asked, not give her shit or half jail-broken hand-me-down-equipment, and not berate her when she forgot her passwords. (Hence the reason the phone was MY property. I bought the phone and I paid the phone bill.) Anyway, Sister1 contacts me because I’m the recovery email and she “needs” access to moms Facebook.

I wouldn’t give it to her. I say that like I’m confident about it. First, I asked Mr C- holy shit what do I do? I don’t want her to have access, she has no right. And it’s weird. And invasive. And mom died over a year ago. Then I asked K. Then I asked moms bestest best friend. All informed me that I didn’t have to give her that info. In fact, moms bestie informed me that she hoped Sister1 hadn’t read moms private messages where she often poured out her heart and frustrations about living with my sisters to her best friends in confidence.

Well… I’ll bet you a million dollars sister1 has read all of that. All the text messages. All the emails. All the Facebook messages. She’s seen my mom describe her in her worst light. And I can’t imagine the unbearable pain that must have brought her. It explains a lot though. She’s been absolutely obsessed with mom since she passed. Moms hobbies have become sister1’s obsessions. She can’t and won’t let mom go. So hearing me tell her I wouldn’t reset the accounts kinda pissed her off.

To ensure that I held to moms honor and let her accounts be silenced, I went as far as to disconnect my email from her recoveries. Her accounts are now lost to the ether. It was like saying goodbye again. Letting the flowers drift into the ocean. Google asked if I wanted to disconnect ME@gmail.com from MOM@gmail.com as this was permanent and could not be undone. Well… I cried and I clicked it. Bye momma.

Not that Sister1 would accept that I can no longer rest the accounts. She became furious and said that I should never have made my self the recovery account if I wasn’t willing to recover them. She said she needed important financial information because she’d be left to deal with all of moms accounts.

Well, what the fuck kind of financial information do you need off of Facebook? And mom died over a year ago. I told her I’d be happy to handle any of mothers personal affairs that they had not just been left to her. She could forward me any correspondence and I’d get a copy of her death certificate from brother and take care of it. No responses after that.

All of the family has been their usual radio silence. No answering the phone or text messages. Oh well.

I do feel terrible for Sister1. Realizing she probably read mom talking shit about her and how much she hated living with her. God, that’s heart breaking. But sister1 brought it on herself by invading moms privacy. And I feel terrible that sister1 has now kinda become sister2s custodian. I do feel bad about that. But again, she let sister2 move in. Sister 2 tried to get me and Mr C to take in her cats. We said fuck no. Sister1 is more codependent and took her in. And it was only supposed to be 2 months… over 2 years ago. I’m sorry sister1. I really am. but I still won’t help you violate moms privacy over and over again.

It’s a terrible situation.

Easter

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It’s Easter. This holiday is a bit sad for me. Obviously, I miss mom. I haven’t decorated for Easter since she died. That’s two Easters. She just got so into Easter. She decorated like crazy. She loved getting everyone their favorite candies. She was all about weird flavors too.

She loved the flavored M&Ms. I remember the year they had carrot cake M&Ms. She was so excited for me to try one and guess the flavor. And one year she got us all different flavors of Jelly Bellys. I got peas and carrots because I love peas and carrots. The jelly beans were fruit flavored, don’t worry, they were just shaped like peas and carrots. She mailed them to me. The day they arrived she made sure I went to the mail box. She said she’d mailed me fresh peas and carrots to cook. She actually convinced me they were gonna be real peas and carrots in my mailbox. Ha.

I miss her so much. My Easter Bunny died.

Some Things 3/29

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1) So today marks two weeks since my breast lift, augmentation, and tummy tuck revision. Tummy tuck, 100% fine. Breasts are extremely tender and achy. Especially if I let myself get cold (which I prefer to do because I’m hot natured). If I get cold, it’s game over – the boobs doth protest. Also I still get a sharp pain on the right with a deep breath. Because he sewed them to my ribs. Can’t wait for that stitch to dissolve! Did not expect to still be in any kind of pain at this point. I thought the boob jobs were easy peasy!

2) I go back to work in 1.5 days. I’m dreading it with all my being. I suck at my job — or at least I feel like I do. I don’t derive any happiness from it. I just feel inadequate.

3) I tried to call my sisters and sis-in-law this morning. As usual, no one answered. They won’t return the calls either. It’s so lame. My brother would answer but he’s so busy and might be at work. I just wanna keep in touch with my family. Also, I just had surgery — you don’t wanna know how I’m doing? I call LAME. Lame flag on the field.