How does one aquire a Scottish friend? The Scottish accent is the absolute best one in existence. I feel like they could cheer me up when I’m sad.
Is there like a Craigslist?
Category: Memes
The Death of OJ
This morning we were idly chatting about Saturday morning type things. Husband asked me if I had heard that OJ died. I said no, but I saw this meme and I knew:
It’s so true. Let him go out in style. We were like the key age to remember this shit. I remember the trial VERY VIVIDLY. This was way bigger than Depp vs Heard.
Anyone who is sad about this shit can kick rocks. Motherfucker wrote a book called “If I Did It.” They had even filmed an interview for Fox called “O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.”
What a piece of shit. Also that Fox tried to pull that shit shows all their integrity. They did eventually air that interview anyway — so they never actually found any morals.
A Few Pictures for the Weekend
Well, it’s Easter weekend, so here’s a fun one:
Then here’s a product by Big Mouth. I was looking at pool floats in their website and saw this. Like it’s a bit conspicuous for a hide-a-key. Like no ones gonna give the dead resin bird a second look…
And lastly. It’s a me meme!
Friday the 13th Mayhem!
I’ve been saving this meme for like two weeks. Remember the Allstate Mayhem commercials? Do they still make those? Those were the best. Let me do some research.
*5 minutes later* Oh Lord, I’m not doing research I’m just watching Mayhem commercials on Youtube now. Let me pause this…
*30 minutes later* — Fuck, I went to post this meme on Facebook and now I’m doing THAT. Wait a second…
“Allstate developed the campaign “Mayhem” and the character (Mayhem) in response to being ranked fourth in advertising spending behind GEICO, State Farm, and Progressive.” “Nina Abnee, executive vice president at Burnett [the advertising agency], said “We wanted to kick Flo’s ass.” “
Dang, this campaign launched in 2010! Wow. I do love Mayhem though, he’s hilarious. If you haven’t seen the commercials I’m talking about, you have the hit up youtube. Here’s one of the most memorable ones to me:
“I’m a teenage girl. My BFF Becky texted and said shes kissed Johnny. Well, that’s a problem ’cause I like Johnny. Now, I’m emotionally compromised, whoopsies *hits car in parking lot*, I’m all OMG. Becky’s not even hot!”
Dean Winters is hilarious. He just plays it deadpan. He’s always in the suit and tie. In one commercial he was a cat knocking shit off counters and laying on a bookshelf.
According to Wikipedia, he was based off of Mr White from Reservoir Dogs. They mention a run of commercials in 2018. I can’t see anything about them being out of production. Looks like he was in a commercial in 2022 and an Allstate spokeswoman said. “There’s still lots of Mayhem in the world, so he could pop in when you least expect it.” I bet he’s crazy expensive now since his career has really blown up in the last decade.
So Happy Friday the 13th!
MEME TIME!
It’s time for some memes. I save good ones on my desktop to share here but I never share them. I am tonight because this first one is so very precious I want to cry! Actually, these first two are.
He got his friend a little backpack so he’d have his own shell! Jesus, it’s triggering something in me.
I shared this bat one on Facebook and it got a lot of laugh emojis. But I don’t think it’s funny, I think it’s really sweet and precious. No, I’m not hormonal. I don’t think I am, at least.
These comics were not posted together. I guess I just have a theme…
And we close with cursing parrots. So after I saw this, I did some research on these parrots. So they knew that cursing got a good response from the stupid humans so it only encouraged them to do it more. And then they’d laugh at people. Parrot squad GOALS. So, as I recall, the zoo split them up and mixed them with other parrots hoping they’d move on from cursing. But they started teaching their new parrots friends the bad words. So they had to roll back and take them out of that populace and put them back together. As I recall, the zoo put them back on display together again to curse at humans all day long. They now reside alone away from the other birds down a long sidewalk with warnings about the adult content ahead. I want to visit them.
Then here’s the update about them getting back together:
New friend?
Listen, I’d like to pretend that I would not approach this bobcat and would immediately go upstairs and call someone. But lets be realistic here. I’m gonna try to make friends with it. I’d be sneaking to the kitchen and throwing it raw chicken. Trying to make it my new cat. I’d be taking pictures. Hopefully, it would growl at me before it ripped my face off. THEN I’d do the right thing before it got worse. But … yeah, part of me would have hope I could befriend it.
I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have a dog door. It’s not just the bobcat either. Man give me a freaking raccoon with with creepy little fingers. I’ll hand it treats it can hold onto with his little hands. Or a FOX! Hell, yeah I want a pet fox. It’s not like I went out and caught it — it came to ME. It wants to live here.
Spectacularly Awful
Here’s just how much I have committed to not leaving my house this weekend. I washed all my pants (I hang dry them) and bras (also hang dry). So I’m just chillin’ in my PJs.
Fuck yeah.
Meme Post!
OK, this last one isn’t a meme, but an ad I saw on Facebook. “Lifeless body?” What the Fuck?
Memes of the Month
Travels
We should be on vacation right now, but our flight last night was canceled 3 hours before we were to board. So the soonest flight we could get out is now tonight. Yay travel! I hate flying with a passion. So many people. So much cramped space. So much chewing and smacking. UGH.
This years family trip will be very different from normal. It’s not my favorite destination. Too many bugs, too much walking, no air conditioning. I grew up on beach trips. You go get hot as hell by the ocean and then come up and cool off in the frigid AC. Its nice. Mr C doesn’t like the beach much though, so we alternate family vacations.
This year unfortunately, his father came down with Covid. While he’s much improved and doing great, we still don’t wanna travel to stay with someone who’s probably still contagious. I believe in following the CDC guidelines because I think they’re like the lowest expectations they could legally set. Bare minimum rules. And they say don’t travel for 10 days. So we had the EXTREMELY uncomfortable situation of discussing with his parents, who paid for the cabin — who’s going, us or you? They decided it would be better used on us. Us being my husband and his brother and sister. So it’s a sibling trip now.
It is a huge change in plans, but I think maybe it’ll be nice. The cabin is far too small for everyone and always has been. So there’s now enough beds for us all. And less of us sharing a single bathroom. And we can all fit at the dining table.
I hope it will be good bonding time with the in-law siblings. Hopefully we’ll get to relax. And be cool enough to sleep well.
Wish me luck on the flights. I hate flying so so so so much.
UPDATE: Tonight’s flight got canceled too! WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE? We’re gonna give it another try tomorrow. Third times a charm right? And if tomorrow fails us, we’re gonna have to cancel. Cross your fingers we make it tomorrow.