Category: Family

Morbid but successful at cutting red tape.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Morbid but successful at cutting red tape.

I’m surrounded by moms death. I’ve got so many gorgeous flower arrangements, my counter is a memorial now. In addition to making the music playlist, I’ve got to make the slideshow for her memorial. Which means all my texts, emails, and facebook messages are pictures of mom. But there’s also mundane stuff. Gotta shut down her debit card. Gotta cancel her phone line…

That last one is what I wanna talk about. I called Verizon to have her line removed from my bill. They, naturally, have to give me bullshit. They have to try to sell me on keeping the line. I get it, it’s your job. So the guy tells me he has to read me a few offers before he can remove the line. I reply very flatly that “there’s no point, the user is dead.”

To his credit, the operator gave me zero bullshit after that and immediately removed the line with his condolences. I wonder if they get that often?

Case of the Mondays

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Ah Monday. Monday after a holiday break. It’s truly painful. Reminding myself to sit and make nine hours pass is just excruciating.

“You sit here, in this place that you hate, doing crap that you don’t like for nine hours. Don’t move until 4:30pm. Starting the clock… Now.”

No one on my team asked how my holiday went. I mean it was an absolute shit show and I had no intention of hiding that, but someone had to ask first. I don’t work with the kinda team that notices hair dye or asks how your weekend was. I work with a person who hates my guts and another who’s a squirrely micromanager. But DeBitch hates everyones guts so apparently that makes it okay. Yes, I’ve complained about her multiple times. Multiple people have.

Anyway, finally after lunch, a guy from another lab comes over to snipe some candy from the goody bowl. He asks the whole room how their break went and I took the opportunity to unload. DeBitch didn’t even both to offer a glance or condolences because she hates me. Who cares?

And the news just states the numbers. Over 350,000 dead in the US from Covid-19. Three hundred and fifty thousand people. Moms in that number. Just one in a massive sea of other faceless number ones. It’s almost insulting. I want to take insult. You mean 350,000 deaths PLUS MY MOM. She wasn’t a fucking number. But to most that’s all it boils down to. A massive pile of lives lost: people they loved, deeds they did, plans they had — they’re just a statistic to us. They don’t even care to keep track of the hundreds, tens or singles. In fact, we’re not even tracking thousands anymore. Just a single partial digit in an unfathomable number. A god damned fraction of a single digit. In a growing number that doesn’t even register much to anyone anymore.

I called my brothers wife on the way to work today. It was nice that she was expecting my call. She had asked me what time I usually go to work when we talked the other day. She asked me what time I’d be off too. I’ve talked to my brother and sister-in-law more this week than in the last two years, I’d wager.

My sisters don’t answer their phones or respond to text messages reliably. I wonder if we are destined to drift apart without our mother to hold the team together. Or is it just me drifting? My sisters currently live together and they’re chained to my brother for the sake of his children, our sweet nephews. I’d always complain about no one responding to my messages and mom always got mad and said “none of these people talk!” It’s true. But we all talked to mom. And mom kept us all up to date on the others. Now they don’t answer my texts.

Moms Dead

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Moms Dead

Yeah it was that shocking and sudden for me too.  She just up and died on Christmas fucking day.  Covid.  What a cluster.  And who’s the one to tell me?  Crazy alcoholic sister.  I didn’t even believe her.  Had to hang up and call my brother.  Nope she dead.  D. E. D.

And I adore my mother.  She’s the best person I’ve ever known.  She was my best friend.  Not in a cliché way – I talked to her twice a day.  When I was driving to work and when I was driving home, I chatted with mom.  She’d say “What you doing?” and then answer her own question with “Driving to work.”  And if she didn’t get a call from me, she knew I skipped work that day.  We’d talk about what we had to do that day and then later talk about how it went and what we were gonna do for the evening. We’d trash talk family and coworkers.

We were all up in each other’s lives.  So now I’m just… left wanting to call someone who isn’t there.  She’s not there.  Sure I can “talk to her” still.  But not really, she doesn’t talk back.  And I have SO MUCH to tell her!  It’s been over a week!  And so much has happened!  I mean I’ve got shit to talk about. 

I’ve got loved ones and family and friends who all say I can call them.  And I have.  I’ve tried a few people.  It’s not the same.  I miss mom.  So I need someone to talk to.  So here we go.  I’m blogging now. 

Hello.  Call me C.