Bringing Joy & Passive Aggressive Teams Icons

Yall, I’m so petty, and I have NO SHAME. So, if you are blessed enough to work telework at all, you are familiar with the Zoom and Teams meetings. The little squares or circles of peoples initials. Most people don’t bother to upload a picture. If you’re REALLY lucky, someone uploads their pet as their icon.

One afternoon I ran into a girl with pink hair at work and recognized her from her icon — because pink hair. And I was like OMG! I’ve been debating what to make my icon. Like do I go professional, tattoo, or pet? Cause I do love the pets. Well, I went pet. Classic Louie with the sunglasses. That’s been my icon for months. People recognize me by it. I’ll introduce myself in person and say “I’m the cat with sunglasses!”

So I usually hop into meetings a few minutes early just so I don’t lose track of time. One meeting a while ago — we were still a few minutes from start and I joking said “oh man, we already have two cats and a dog — this is gonna be a good meeting.”

Well, asshole chimed in that he prefers people to use their faces so he knows who people are. I just joked it off that I prefer animals.

Yall, this motherfucker’s picture is a black and white selfie in sunglasses and a ball cap that had to have been taken 15-20 years ago. — Just for the full picture.

Then he’s mentioned it in two meetings since. The last time, he called me out directly. It was a meeting with nothing remotely related. I was talking about requirements and he said something like “I’ll agree if you stop using your cat for an icon” or something. IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING WHERE WE WERE HAVING PROFESSIONAL DISCOURSE. So, I snapped back that I’ll change mine when he shows his face as in his own icon as he’s got a hat and sunglasses on. He says he’s perfectly recognizable in his. I disagree.

So today, he has pissed me off. He does that a lot. So TODAY, since it’s OCTOBER, I changed my icon to Louie with batwings and a pumpkin (from last year). It’s Microsoft, so it will take a while to trickle down through the various apps.

Yall. What can I do for Thanksgiving and Christmas? I gotta get under his skin REAL GOOD. How can Louie reflect Thanksgiving?

It’s got to be funny and cute because normal people will find this adorable and a bright spot in their day to see my cat dressed up in the work meeting. And every time someone compliments it, it will FUCKING KILL HIM INSIDE. So we need max cuteness.

MEME TIME!

It’s time for some memes. I save good ones on my desktop to share here but I never share them. I am tonight because this first one is so very precious I want to cry! Actually, these first two are.

He got his friend a little backpack so he’d have his own shell! Jesus, it’s triggering something in me.

I shared this bat one on Facebook and it got a lot of laugh emojis. But I don’t think it’s funny, I think it’s really sweet and precious. No, I’m not hormonal. I don’t think I am, at least.

These comics were not posted together. I guess I just have a theme…

And we close with cursing parrots. So after I saw this, I did some research on these parrots. So they knew that cursing got a good response from the stupid humans so it only encouraged them to do it more. And then they’d laugh at people. Parrot squad GOALS. So, as I recall, the zoo split them up and mixed them with other parrots hoping they’d move on from cursing. But they started teaching their new parrots friends the bad words. So they had to roll back and take them out of that populace and put them back together. As I recall, the zoo put them back on display together again to curse at humans all day long. They now reside alone away from the other birds down a long sidewalk with warnings about the adult content ahead. I want to visit them.

“The parrots “swear to trigger reaction or a response” so if people look shocked or laugh, it just encourages them to do it more, he said. “With the five, one would swear and another would laugh and that would carry on,” he said.”

Then here’s the update about them getting back together:

“After mixing the parrots with some of the Friskney park’s other birds, keepers said more inhabitants were picking up the parrots’ profanities. Steve Nichols, park chief executive, said: “When they swear, we now get it in probably 15 or 20 different birds, all coming out with the wonderful language. “When this horrendous situation with Covid disappears, we’re going to be setting up a discreet blue corner with a disclaimer before you walk down the path saying, ‘it’s not our fault what you hear’.”

Rhaegal: the Dragon of Majesty and Scams

I got a good one for you today, folks. I got SCAMMED. I got scammed hard and hilariously. Meet Rhaegal:

I ordered Rhaegal from the scam website freshyness.com (*Clicky* but NOTE IT’S A SCAM SITE). He was to be K’s house warming present. A regal dragon to stand in front of her new house and be decorated for various holidays. An epic creature of grace and fun.

Instead I received Rhaegal: the Inflatable Dragon of Majesty and Scams.

I saw that Rhaegal was being delivered today on USPS’s delivery dashboard. I was so excited that I showed him off to people at work. I was going to hide him in the storage closet and have K fetch a pool float from the closet when she comes over Sunday. I was so excited! Then I got home and had this awesome pool float in my mailbox. I thought someone sent me a fucking sweet pool float as an anonymous surprise! It’s not unheard of, I send my friends little gifts and sometimes they send me little gifts. And I mean, look at it — that has me written all over it. But when I contacted everyone who might have sent it, they all denied it. That’s when it slowly began to dawn on me… this is Rheagal…

Jokes on those bitches because I love it! I would totally have bought this for the pool at a reasonable price.

Thank god for credit cards. I already contested the purchase and will have my money back in 15 days or less. FREE POOL DRAGON, bitches!

To be clear though, the website freshyness.com is a complete scam. It’s a chinese company that sells expensive awesome shit and sends you cheap, but still kinda awesome shit. Don’t buy anything from them. And always use a condom. I mean Visa card.