Category: Cats

Some Things 9/19

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1) Today was my twentieth crossfit workout (not including the four on-boarding classes). I have a baby bicep. I also think I could possibly jump rope. I can hop now which is better than I could before! I can lift weights, I can plank, I can squat, and I can sweat. I can sweat a lot. The other day, a fellow crossfitter though I had poured water on myself. Yeah, no that’s just sweat.

2) I have watched way too many plastic surgery “journeys” on youtube. Like a lot. Too many. I’m obsessed with knowing everything and now I feel like I know too much. In fact, now I have a bazillion questions for the doctor. I’m worried about making Christmas and my court date. I’m worried I’ll be bloated and swollen for a year. I’m getting a lot of anxiety.

Don’t worry, I’m not thinking of backing out. Nope. Imagine that crossfit hopping with my tummy. I have a sport bra for the boobs, but nothings holding that loose baggy stomach in place while I jump up and down. It hurts and I’m sure its unattractive. Thank you, no mirror rule.

I did manage to get another consultation with the doctor. But not until the end of October. Over a month away. But I feel like I want to really be comfortable with him before we proceed. And I have questions. He lists a lot of liposuction — won’t all that lipo compromise the blood supply to the new “flap”? And how much improvement are we really gonna see? Also, do I need a Fleur De Lei as opposed to the regular we talked about? I don’t want a vertical scar, but I think I may need one. Scars are not my primary concern. I’m not looking to wear a two piece bathing suit here. And when can I get back to working out? Most people say a little less than 2 months — but they’re wearing their compression garments and swelling up at 6 months and longer — so ???

3) My precious Jack had his vet visit a little over a week ago. I keep hoping with every visit that his levels will improve, but realistically, I know they won’t. Getting them to hold steady is the best we can hope for. His levels did get slightly worse — but not enough to worry the doctor. She says he may find a new “zone” and stay there. He hasn’t lost any weight so that’s excellent but I still with he’d eat more. I worry about him. I wish I could get him to eat more and drink more. But he”s not LOSING weight which is key.

Ungrateful Cat.

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I’ve been up since 4:00. Couldn’t sleep. Partially because I took naps yesterday (multiple), partially because of bad dreams. Most of the bad dreams were the night before last — hence the naps yesterday. I knew I was dreaming but I kept waking in a house that wasn’t my own. It would seem like mine but I’d figure it out and then be tortured to death. I’m pretty sure my hand was grinded off at some point with a powertool. I’m trying to forget. I was stuck in a loop of dreams. I think I even had to forgive my father at some point trying to figure out what whoever was doing this to me wanted just to get out of the loop. It was rough. I’m not joking about grinding a bloody stump arm either. I’m trying hard to forget that part. Did I mention I’ve been depressed?

I had some maybes for coming to the pool to hang out with me but I got stood up. So I just napped instead. Me and Mr C hung out though. And I cooked chicken for supper. I went to bed late but woke at 4:00. Lame.

I changed out the litter closet this weekend. Yes, my precious has his own bathroom. It even has a cat door and a bathroom ventilation fan. He is my precious, after all. I completely changed out one litterbox for a new one and cleaned the second one up. Yes, he has two litterboxes in his swanky litter closet. He likes the pee in the left one and poop in the right one.

I did this so I could switch cat litters. I’ve mentioned a million times that he tracks cat litter all over the place. Ugh. A work friend suggested I try Fresh Step: Clean Paws. Well, I’ll try something new, sure. So I cleaned everything up and switched out to a completely new cat litter. Even put in new carbon filters. Hope it works. So far it clumps OK enough. But it’s much heavier and harder to sift through to scoop since the pieces are so much bigger. But I hope it keeps him from tracking a small white line of litter down the hall.

Did I mention when I was carrying out the cat litter, the bag had a hole and left a trail of dirty cat little from my back door to the pool gate? Cause it happened.

At least I was up early enough to give him his medicines and breakfast with no screaming banshee over my head. It went alright until he barfed it all up on the rug. Complete with undigested expensive kidney pill sitting right there on top.

Fuck me.

The things we do for the little fuzzy shits we love.

A Cat and His Harness.

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As you know, my precious cat has kidney disease. I’m losing my beloved little familiar. So now he has a special diet, lots of medicine, and regular vet checkups. However my amazing cat does not like his expensive fancy cat carrier. He never has. He pretty much just screams the whole time he’s in there. If you recall: my cat talks, screams, and wails a lot. It’s his thing. He was named Screamer before I adopted him. Hes got a good set of pipes on him. He has songs he needs to express. The vet is 20 minutes away. Add in the vet time and 20 minutes for the return and both of us are at the end of our perspective ropes. It’s such a stressful experience for both of us! So I decided to try something new.

I decided to go sans carrier. I decided to get him a harness and leash. Sure, I took the carrier with my just in case, but I figured maybe it could at least ease the stress on me.

I did not expect him to take this well. However, since he’s getting older and on all that pain medicine, he’s more chill than ever. So a few hours before the vet, I harnessed the cat. He had to hold his front legs further apart, but he didn’t really act too bothered by it. In fact, he was kinda adorable in it. So adorable that I added a bow tie and took a picture. Oh don’t worry, I didn’t make him wear the bow tie to the vet.

I dare say it went well. It turned the whole thing into more of an adventure than a torture session. He was freakishly alert while driving in the car. He insisted on sitting in my lap and observing everything through the window. He didn’t whine a bit. It was just pure curiosity. It was actually kinda fun driving with my cat. And it didn’t stress him out at all! Score!

Then we got to the vet. Since covid, you can’t wait inside with your pet. You wait in your car and they call you when they’re ready and tell you what room to take your pet to. So there was no passing other animals to worry about. I just carried him in straight to room 3. It was great. The only downside, I think, was for him. He didn’t have a hole to crawl into after the mean lady took his blood. He had to settle for sitting under the bench I was sitting on. Then he eventually progressed to my lap where he proceeded to hide his face in my arm when the mean lady returned. So he didn’t have that protective factor while in the office.

Checking out was simple enough. I just held onto his leash while he sniffed the floor. Then I carried him out to the car. He was much less thrilled on our way home. He was much more subdued and a little pissy about it. BUT — there was no wailing. He just sat in the passenger seat and stewed over what a horrible person I am. He could have sat in his carrier which was in the floor board, but he chose the passenger seat. So success again!

He’s a harness cat now. I will still continue to take his carrier along as a backup, but this leash thing is solid. I was so much less stressed out by the whole ordeal. I think it went great. I’d love to take him out on the leash, but I don’t want him to start begging to go outside all the time. But yeah. I recommend using a leash instead of a cat carrier. It’s great.

Your pet is not your “baby”

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OK yall, we gotta stop with this calling your pet your baby shit. I know im gonna get a ton of flack for this because literally everyone I know calls their pets their babies. Hey, my dad calls his dog my sister. He likes the dog better though, and thats why he’s a bastard.

I know, your pet is your family. You might even, like my father, openly admit you like the pet better than your children. It happens. I don’t want a kid. Have yall met my precious J? He’s my soul creature, my witchy familiar, maybe even my soul mate, but he’s not my baby. He’s a piece of me and will ALWAYS be a piece of me. He’s a splinter of my soul in cat form. I get it.

But I just got a paragraph into a Facebook post about a friend of a friends baby dying and was terribly upset for everyone involved, only to realize, like two paragraphs in, that it was a dog. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. I thought you were mourning a human child who had been in an auto accident that another human driver was going to have on his conscious for the rest of his life. I repeat: THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

Some Things 2/13

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  • I used the last of J’s first kidney pill prescription today. 90 pills. I’ve given this cat 90 pills now. Has it gotten easier? Fuck no. He’s no quitter. He’ll take that pill when you shove it down his throat while he fights you off. 90 times.
  • Did you know you can use GoodRX for pet medications? You can! I can get his pain meds for half the cost at Publix and same for his IV fluids on Chewy.com. Also, Chewy.com sells IVs and IV fluids. Interesting.
  • Chop Chop is way over priced. It’s a damn good salad, don’t get me wrong. I don’t even like salads. And it’ll fill you up. But come on, $17 for a salad and a cup of water? Did I move to LA? What the fuck?

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Then the check engine light came on.

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I has been a week. Let me tell ya. Monday I was so anxious and overwhelmed that I skipped work. I had watched 90 Day Fiance which was me and moms show. We both call each other to remind each other it is coming on and then talk about how crazy everyone is. And Natalie be CRAZY. Mom will never see how crazy she is and we cant talk about it. Who’s watching our show with me now? Just me and the cat, I guess. And he doesn’t care how crazy Natalie is, which she really is.

I’ve been hyper focused on the cat as a bit of a break from the far heavier death of mom. So of course I’m upset that even with all the changes, he’s still only got a life expectancy of 1 – 2 years. I assume that includes a lot of decline towards the end as well. So it’s difficult. I just gave him his fluids via stabby needle an hour or so ago. He’s resting in his bed next to me. With a big lump of fluid on his side. Poor guy.

Also, I’m anxious about starting vestibular physical therapy. With not having to drive much thanks to Covid, I had kinda of convinced myself I was all better. This is fine. Ya know? And acknowledging that I still get really sick driving is a hard pill to swallow. I certainly don’t want to go back to last January when I had to do my physical therapy exercises twice a day and got nausea and vertigo every time. It was miserable. So I don’t wanna. That’s basically what it boils down to. I don’t wanna.

Work’s been… bad, I guess? Honestly, I haven’t been working. I’ve been just getting though my days. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to not break down, yall. Like I said, Monday I didn’t even make it in to work. So my not-very-important task has been halted half done. But this is the last week of the sprint so my favorite coworker was assigned to help me with it. Of course DeBitch made a snarky asshole remark. DeBitch was one of the main reasons I didn’t go in Monday. I just didn’t want to deal with that shit. And of course I feel terrible.

It’s a team carry. I’m the teammate down and my team is carrying me over the finish line. It’s embarrassing and …well… embarrassing. I’m ashamed of myself. But then I also need the carry. So I’m grateful but also want to crawl up in a hole and die. Mostly the latter.

So I’ve got a lot going on that’s stressing me out. A lot. And then the check engine light in my car comes on yesterday on the way to work. God dammit, are you serious? So I have a scanner to read the codes — it’s some faulty circuit in the temperature sensor. But still, kick me when I’m down, will ya?

I just want to crawl up in a hole and die. Or to retire and crawl up on the couch and never leave the house again. That’s fine too.

Some Things 1/15

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1) I’m trying to get stuff for the funeral organized. We need to pick a photo for the main mom photo. But my sisters are still too distraught to look at photos. Sister I was talking to said she didn’t even leave her room yesterday. She just ate some cottage cheese she had in the fridge down there. Okay, thats not healthy.

Also, I can’t shut down. I have a job and a mortgage and a husband and a cat I had to take the the vet today. I know she’s fucked up and grieving but I kinda want to smack her. Get off your damn ass.

2) Took the cat the vet today. The good news is, all of his levels have improved! I think the vet was very impressed that I followed directions. She basically treated me like I was a good dog. I’m cool with that. Go me!

Problem is he’s still in kidney failure. I got the copies of his labs so I could look stuff up. He’s right at the bottom levels (good end) of stage 3 failure. Ugh. So I don’t think he’s going to get off the fluids and stuff. He has an average life expectancy of 2 years at this point. Let’s make ’em good.

After the bath, he was licking himself so much he had a hair ball… in the new heated cat bed. He was obsessed with it and now he wont go near it. Fuck. It’s like Mr C and grape juice. He’s traumatized now.

3) Someone was using “my” bathroom stall at work and it was surprisingly weird. There is like one bathroom per floor where I work with 6 stalls. I always use the same stall. Row 2, Stall A. It’s a good one. Row 1 Stall B runs forever. 1 A flushes too much (sensor calibration issues). I can’t use a handicapped stall so I stick with my safe 2 A. But the other day someone was in there! I had to use one of the handicapped stalls.

Am I the only one who always uses the same stall?

Some Things 1/10

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1) K came through with the most adorable, soft, crocheted blanket for my familiar. It’s now adding more padding and a shit ton more style to his heated cat bed. What a good friend. It’s such a sweet comforting gesture when I could REALLY use it. I wish I could show mom. I love you, K!

Fuzzy

2) I saw a Lysol commercial today. We’re still smack in the middle of Covid (for future reference). Has ANYONE seen a bottle of Lysol since February last year? Why are they spending money on advertising? It’s not an old commercial either – it said it kills the Covid virus in the commercial. We fucking KNOW, Lysol. Put your money into getting that shit on the shelves. You think you need to advertise your product right now? It’s aerosol gold.

Wait. Let me check something.

There is literally an 8 pack on ebay for $129.99 plus $19.99 shipping right now. People are scalping Lysol. And they’re advertising.

3) I’m using wool dryer balls now. How hippie is that? We finally ran out of dryer sheets and these things are supposed to last forever without all the chemicals. Do they really prevent static? We shall see… free-trade, ethically sourced-from Nepal, hand-felted by little old hippie ladies, happy sheep dryer balls. We shall see.

Whatever you want.

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Mr C has been letting me go HAM** on the cat.  Between moms death and my fuzzy familiar’s terminal illness, he might just be handling me with kid gloves.  That means not saying no to my outpouring of everything for the cat.  I mean I was, just last night, crying on the floor because I couldn’t call mom and I didn’t know what was best for the cat. 

So now the cat has a heated cat bed that he very much actually loves.  Mr C said he was even sleeping in it while I was at work.  I was about to type that the only reason I have a clear lap right now is that he is on that heated bed.  However, right as I began to type that he decided to get up and come see what I’m doing.  Now I’m awkwardly typing with his head resting on my wrist.

Mr C hasn’t complained about all the money I spent at the vet and on his medicine and special diet food.  I also got the old guy some stairs to get up on our bed.  And I cleaned off my night stand so he could have a heated pallet of blankets there. 

Pet Stuff

He took his fluids like a champ tonight.  He’s loaded up with fluids and electrolytes now.  I hope this stuff makes him feel better. I wish I could ask mom what she thinks is best. I’m sure I’ve gone overkill on the arthritis. And I don’t mind giving him the liquid pain killer. However shoving pills down his throat twice a day and giving him subcutaneous fluids seems so invasive. I don’t want him to be miserable. He doesn’t like taking the pills. Is it really for his own good or just for me, so he’ll live longer? That is what triggered my melt down last night. I gave him his medicine and told him I hope he’d feel better. And I wanted to tell mom that I hope they make him feel better. But… …I couldn’t. So I had a melt down instead.

**Interesting note.  I only learned exactly what HAM stood for recently.  “Hard As A Motherfucker.”  And now we know.