Some Things 5/11

1) Got my last surgical drain out! Hell yeah! It’s gonna be swimming time soon! I even got to try on all my bathing suits! Plus order a new top piece!

2) They picked up my rented lift recliner. Farewell, friend. He was a good recliner. Jack was sleeping in it when they came for it. We shall both miss it.

3) Filling out medical paperwork to see the dermatologist on Friday and there’s this drop down for marital status:

16 options? Really? I had to google what the fuck “Interlocutory” even is. It sounds like something that happens when the Borg assimilate you.

3) My pool still isn’t open and it’s still surrounded by huge weeds. HELP NEEDED.

Job Decisions

So I’ve been offered the other position in my company. I am currently a software engineer (SW), but I have been offered a configuration management (CM) position. I was hoping the decision would be helped by salary, however, it would be a “lateral move” meaning no salary change. Damn. In SW I have a nice hybrid schedule that’s almost 100% from home. In CM I’d be almost 100% in closed labs. So damn.

Damn. damn. damn.

The thing is, I’ve lost all confidence in my SW abilities — at least at this company. It’s just not the type of SW role I’m used to. It involves a lot of hardware interfacing. I don’t do that. I know nothing about that. I didn’t go to school for that and none of my 17 years of experience has been in that. CM, on the other hand, I can rock out. It’s easier work. Which is why it’s usually paid less. Which leads to my second problem: Am I stagnating my pay by changing? I’m pretty happy with my current salary, but still, it’s to be considered. Though not over quality of life by any means.

Also, I don’t think my current company plans to keep people on hybrid schedules. I think they’re using “hybrid” as a way to ease people back in. If they called for everyone back immediately, a lot would quit. But I really do think they’ll move in that direction. The question is how long will that be? I hate to go on site full time when I could be rocking it at home rolling out of bed and straight the the computer – no getting ready, no commute, no nothing. Makes getting to work “on time” an ace in the hole.

That’s really the only thing I’m stuck on. The loss of the hybrid schedule. But would I lose it in SW anyway? There’s no guarantee I get to keep it. I could be moved to a program tomorrow that needs me in house. Anything is possible. I’ve been shifted around on a LOT of programs in my short time at this job. And I don’t see myself staying at this job long term honestly. This is the first time I’ve said that out loud I guess. Maybe I could make CM long term there though? Hmmm.

Wednesday, I have a meeting with management and HR to ask my questions. They got to ask theirs and had a resounding “yeah let’s hire her.” Now, it’s my turn. Damn, so much to think about.

Damn, damn, damn.

Some Things 5/8

1) How do people walk around using cracked phones? Friday I cracked the gorilla glass protector on my phone and it’s driving me insane. I ordered a new glass cover that will be here tomorrow but good lord it’s driving me crazy. How do yall put up with this shit? I’ve seen people using cracked phones for weeks. Fuck that, I’d be upgrading LOL

2) How do people with nipple piercings hide them? Since my breast lift, I’ve had a problem with pointy nipples. I sought help on the internet. How do you hide your pointy nipples? A lot of people use these silicone pasties, but I don’t want anything with adhesive since it gives me reactions sometimes. Someone suggested cotton balls – but like, really? I saw some makeup cotton pads in Ks guest bathroom and think I might try those. Turns out the only people who replied with nipple piercings just show them off loud and proud. Interesting.

3) I’ve been watching Sorted Food for the past few weeks/months. It’s a youtube food channel (linky). They’re doing a live viewing on the May 21st and K2’s gonna come over and we’re gonna make a day of watching them live record videos. Maybe with some pool intermissions.

4) For the love of God. I’m seeing the surgeon on Tuesday about removing my damn surgical drain. So great, right? Only today it has been draining DOUBLE. fuck you, drain! Are you kidding me? My pools gonna be open this week and I can’t even pretend to get in. And It’s not like I can just get in when the drains gone. The big hole has to heal up before I can get in. I’m going to a Memorial Day pool party with my family at my sister’s. She lets her dog swim in her pool. That shit has got to be healed solid before then! UGH. I’m honestly considering fudging the numbers.

5) Well, Mother’s Day. It hasn’t been so bad. I’ve tried to just ignore it. I sent my mother-in-law some live succulents earlier in the week so I took care of that. But I didn’t wish her a happy mother’s day today. Kinda on purpose. It just feels wrong. I wanna cancel this holiday forever.

I did plant some things in honor of mom. I put fresh sun ferns on the front porch. I planted the planter on the back stoop. It would look gorgeous if it wasn’t against the backdrop of 4 foot weeds sprouting through the pool rocks. I wonder if my boobs can handle a little weed eating? I’ll ask the doctor Tuesday.

Job Thoughts

So I interviewed for the new position at my current company. New position would be easier and less open-ended, I feel. Which is great. However, it would also be 100% on site in a closed lab. I’ve gotten so used to working from home! Working from home is fucking sweet. At least give me the morning to roll out of bed and check my email.

So I haven’t been offered the job but I’m already hemming and hawing over it. Arrg.

Awww. So close.

So my surgical drain has been 40cc’s give or take 5cc’s for a week. I’m 7 weeks post op tomorrow. So I called to see how long it was going to have to stay in before they call it on time like they did last time. The nurse remembered my case (winning) and that yeah, we just removed them because of time left in. So she said she’d talk to the surgeon and maybe we could get it out today or tomorrow. SWEET.

But alas, no. They called back super late and said the surgeon could see me next week. Yeah — another WEEK. And we’ll see about taking it out then. Lame. But hey they last ones came out at 9 weeks and next week will be 8 weeks …so… progress?

Some Things 5/2

1) It’s so hard to tell the difference between “I’m balding and I like naps” and hypothyroidism. Like yeah, OK, I guess you could describe me as “tired, lethargic, and losing hair.” I’m literally balding, and lazy though. So like, I don’t know. Give me more thyroid hormones. Sure, I’ll come back and let you test me again in a month. Why not?

2) Tomorrow, I have a skype interview for a configuration management (CM) position. It’s with the same company. They just really need a CM person and my software boss knows I have experience in both so she said I should apply and I could maybe do half and half. Well, as long as the pay is the same, I’m in! I’ve stayed the software route because it has higher earning potential long term. However, I’m happy with my currently salary. So if they can match it in CM, bring it on. I can do all the paperwork you bitches want. And I’m so unhappy with how uncertain I am with the job right now. I’m so out of my element. It’d be nice to have some easy wins.

3) In the past two weeks, I’ve seen my psychiatrist, my plastic surgeon, my primary care doctor, and my neurologist. Does it count that I had to go by Jack’s vet to get his meds today too? So much time shuffling!

4) My sister is mad at me. She wanted access to moms Facebook and it locked her out. She was accessing it through moms old phone that she never should have had access to as it belonged to me and I had specified it be given to my other sister who needed a new phone as that’s what mom would have wanted. Other sister never got the phone. Sister1 kept it and has been using it to access her Facebook and pictures and I’m sure her private messages too. So…

Facebook locked her out. So she tried to recover the password with moms email that she’s also been accessing. But gmail locked her out. So she contacted me. I’m the recovery email for all of moms accounts. Why? Because I would set shit up for her when she asked, not give her shit or half jail-broken hand-me-down-equipment, and not berate her when she forgot her passwords. (Hence the reason the phone was MY property. I bought the phone and I paid the phone bill.) Anyway, Sister1 contacts me because I’m the recovery email and she “needs” access to moms Facebook.

I wouldn’t give it to her. I say that like I’m confident about it. First, I asked Mr C- holy shit what do I do? I don’t want her to have access, she has no right. And it’s weird. And invasive. And mom died over a year ago. Then I asked K. Then I asked moms bestest best friend. All informed me that I didn’t have to give her that info. In fact, moms bestie informed me that she hoped Sister1 hadn’t read moms private messages where she often poured out her heart and frustrations about living with my sisters to her best friends in confidence.

Well… I’ll bet you a million dollars sister1 has read all of that. All the text messages. All the emails. All the Facebook messages. She’s seen my mom describe her in her worst light. And I can’t imagine the unbearable pain that must have brought her. It explains a lot though. She’s been absolutely obsessed with mom since she passed. Moms hobbies have become sister1’s obsessions. She can’t and won’t let mom go. So hearing me tell her I wouldn’t reset the accounts kinda pissed her off.

To ensure that I held to moms honor and let her accounts be silenced, I went as far as to disconnect my email from her recoveries. Her accounts are now lost to the ether. It was like saying goodbye again. Letting the flowers drift into the ocean. Google asked if I wanted to disconnect ME@gmail.com from MOM@gmail.com as this was permanent and could not be undone. Well… I cried and I clicked it. Bye momma.

Not that Sister1 would accept that I can no longer rest the accounts. She became furious and said that I should never have made my self the recovery account if I wasn’t willing to recover them. She said she needed important financial information because she’d be left to deal with all of moms accounts.

Well, what the fuck kind of financial information do you need off of Facebook? And mom died over a year ago. I told her I’d be happy to handle any of mothers personal affairs that they had not just been left to her. She could forward me any correspondence and I’d get a copy of her death certificate from brother and take care of it. No responses after that.

All of the family has been their usual radio silence. No answering the phone or text messages. Oh well.

I do feel terrible for Sister1. Realizing she probably read mom talking shit about her and how much she hated living with her. God, that’s heart breaking. But sister1 brought it on herself by invading moms privacy. And I feel terrible that sister1 has now kinda become sister2s custodian. I do feel bad about that. But again, she let sister2 move in. Sister 2 tried to get me and Mr C to take in her cats. We said fuck no. Sister1 is more codependent and took her in. And it was only supposed to be 2 months… over 2 years ago. I’m sorry sister1. I really am. but I still won’t help you violate moms privacy over and over again.

It’s a terrible situation.

Tis the Season.. for POOL

Went to Walmart to pick up my pool salt. They’re the cheapest, don’t judge me. Took Mr C to do the heavy lifting but turns out with the car pickup service, they would have done it for me. Nice. It’s my first time using the pickup service. I usually avoid Walmart like the plague. They’re shit to their workers and it’s insanely crowded with way too many people. I tell you what though, having someone just bring eight 40lb bags of salt out to my car for me was nice. Had I known it was that simple. I’d have gotten more than eight bags!

While waiting on my own salt, I saw another man pushing a buggy to his car with about five big bags of salt himself. Yep, it’s that time of year. Then, while in the Arby’s drive thru (hey, they HAVE the meats), the truck in front of us had a pool vacuum on a bike rack and their pool cleaning pole hanging out of the back. Yep, tis the season.

I’m not sure when exactly my guy is coming to remove my pool cover. I’m not overly concerned as I still have a surgical drain in so it’s not like I can get in. Last weekend he came by and dumped in a bunch of chemicals and turned the pump on to circulate. The cover is still on though. I have to pay him to install and remove the cover for me. That thing is like 200lbs. So not sure when he plans on doing it. Maybe next weekend?

I’ve got the salt ready! It’s reading a nippy 72 degrees. When the cover comes off it should heat up faster. Gonna be rocking my new boobs this pool season!

New Glasses from Pair Eyewear

What if I told you that, in all of these pictures, I’m wearing the same pair of glasses?

That’s right, they’re all the same glasses! They’re the “Ella” from Pair Eyewear. The plain black base frames (available in other colors like clear) have magnets on them. This allows you to switch out an infinite number of toppers to match your hearts desires!

They release new collections of limited edition toppers a few times a month (on Wednesdays, I believe). So there will always be new ones for your fancy. And there’s already a huge community of custom makers who sell custom tops. My white fuck tops and the black bat wings are both custom orders. As far as limited editions, I already missed out on the bokah dots by mere hours! It was heart breaking. They were in my cart and then when I got my prescription uploaded and went to checkout, they had already sold out. Sad times. Sad times.

If you look around, there is generally a 10% off coupon for new customers — or you can use my referral link to save money and give me points toward purchases too! Here’s my link. Right now, in April — it’s worth $25. After April, I believe it will go down to $20.

The base frames start at $60 with simple prescription lenses. Each topper is $25 for regular, or $30 for sun toppers. I added on light responsiveness (knock-off Transitions), blue light filtering, and a bunch of toppers. I even got a sun topper. Why would I get a sun topper when I have the light responsiveness? To use in the car, baby! Hell yeah! Transitions don’t work in the car (they’re triggered by UV rays) — so now I can store my sun toppers in my console and drive in sunglasses! I got to try it for the first time today and I felt so cool.

I tell you what, these have exceeded my expectations. The quality of the frames is perfectly on par with frames you pay 5 times as much for. In fact, I’m suggesting Mr C get his next pair through them. Even if he doesn’t use the toppers, the price is excellent. They have a good return policy (I already returned one topper that made me look like I had a unibrow). I added on an optional warranty too. And the magnets are stronger than I expected. They work great! I’m in love.

I’m pretty sure K is already sold on buying the “Wandas” for a pair of cheaper glasses she can wear on trips where she doesn’t have to be heart broken over losing a pair of glasses that cost $800 in a lake.

Some things:

  • You can simply upload a picture of your prescription to the site.
  • There are lots of shape options. I have the “Ella.” If you look around, smart entrepreneurial types have already started selling card stock cutouts of the different frames for you to try on. I paid $5 for a full set to “try them on” before I committed.
  • If you know you pupil distance, awesome! Give it to them. If you do not, they have an app where you hold any card with a magnetic strip (AKA size of a credit card) up to your forehead and let it take a picture. This is what I did and mine came out perfect.
  • Seriously, use my referral link. You save $20 and I get a $20 credit to spend on toppers!
  • They have kids sizes as well as adult! Affordable for your kids to run around the playground in while rocking dinosaur toppers!

Six Weeks Post-Op

In two days, I’ll be 6 weeks postop from my Breast Lift, Augmentation, and tummy tuck revision. I had my 6-weeks follow-up with the surgeon today. It was a “meh” appointment. The good news is that all of my incisions are healing up beautifully. One breast has dropped nicely and the other hasn’t moved. I have not been concerned about this as I’ve read so many times that they drop at different rates — two breasts, two different surgeries that heal differently. However the surgeon was more concerned.

Apparently, that breast is more tubular. He showed me on my “before” pictures and yep — the dropped breast was wider before. So he said I would have to work to “aggressively massage” them. He also put me in a band. It goes around you and sits on top of your breast to apply pressure downward — you know, pushing the breast down. So that’s all I need — ANOTHER thing to wear LOL.

I showed him my arm scars (from the arm lift in December). They’re keloiding near the elbows. So he gave me some silicone gel to massage into them twice a day. He wants to try that before injections. He gave me a $80 bottle for free, so sure, I’ll try it.

My hips are still comically swollen. Think I’m exaggerating? There’s almost 20lbs of fluid on these babies:

Look at all those layers I have on. That’s my bare minimum layers. Surgical bra, breast band, tank top, binder, underwear, and compression pants. As you can see, I’ve still got my drain. Ah drains, the bane of plastic surgery.

The nurse agreed with me that perhaps trying the bed again and having my hips level with my heart at night will probably help the fluid come down some. She also told me I gotta wear my compression pants. So I got out the compression pants. And let me tell you, getting my fat, swollen ass in those tight pants — Jesus. There was so much pulling and shaking and jiggling and just general unflattering gyrating to get those things up. I’m compressed now, okay?

Note the red glasses I’m wearing. More about those in another post…

How We Cook in the South

1) Put everything in the pot. In this case: 2lbs carrots, 2 big ass onions, 2.5lbs pork loin

2) Stand in front of pantry. Start grabbing shit that sounds like it would be good “in there.” Gather an approximate arm full of shit.

3) Carefully measure ingredients in the palm of your hand, or go by how long you feel like shaking the container. Do this until it “looks good.”

4) Cook.

5) Spend the next 10 years trying to get it right again like that one time you made it and it was perfect.

NOTES:

  • Yes, I do make my own spice blends and store them in random containers with hand written labels. Usually, it’s following one of Alton Brown’s spice blend recipes. OK, all of them are. I love Alton Brown.
  • Baby carrots are the exact same fucking thing as big carrots. Yes they are, MIL! They have the same nutrients. No they aren’t less nutritious because they’ve been “through a machine” and “have rounded edges.” Don’t believe everything your stupid friend offhandedly said once. If you want a specific carrot type, be more specific on your fucking request. I’ll grant that maybe the big carrots have more nutrients in their skin or something — but you know what — you’re peeling them.