Things I Bought Today

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1) Solar light inflatable flamingos for the pool. I saw my sisters in a video and they were adorable how they bob around in a little flock with the wind. They’re also big enough to not go in the skimmers. So I was like “I want those!” When I looked them up I saw they were actually also SOLAR LIGHTS. Fuck me, I bought them right then. Hell yeah. Got a set of 4. My sister has, like, 10 but we aint rich over here.

2) A cat harness. Does Jack have a cat harness? Yes. Yes, he does. However, his cat harness has some issues. First, it’s a bit tight in the neck. It’s a bit tight in general, really. He wasn’t with me when I bought it. Second, it’s a pain in the ass to put on. Thankfully Jack is a good boy, but every time you put it on him, you have to weave the chest buckle through the loop in the harness. And it has to go over his head. Yeah cats love having shit shoved over their heads. Third, it’s one of those multi-pet harnesses. So a dog harness, really. This one I ordered is just for cats. It’s also been advertised to me like 3 times and I’m a sucker. But, to be honest, I really do like the way it has a big neck hole and that there’s no straps around the cat — just fabric. And its a step in, not over the head. Plus, while it does buckle, it velcros before you buckle it. I mean it does look like a damn good cat harness. Jacks harness is shitty. So… I bought. He got the blue lined in orange.

3) I did NOT buy more Pair Frame toppers for my glasses. A while back I ordered some “blanks” that were 3D printed on Etsy. I got 5 for like $20. I bought them to try to salvage the “fuck” tops by gluing them to plastic so they wouldn’t be floppy. This failed. I did, however, paint two pair! First, I popped on one of the just white blanks. And I actually loved the way the white frames popped. But they were matte finish and if you looked close you could see they weren’t smooth. So I got some white nail polish and now they’re so shiny! While shopping for nail polish I went for something more fun too — one of those ones that changes color depending on the angle you look at it. I went with green because green is my favorite color. Check it. With all 5 blanks and both nail polishes, these were actually cheaper than buying Pair brand toppers:

Seroma… but POOL

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So I just realized I never updated. I did, in fact, go to the surgeon last week to have my seroma aspirated. So I do have a seroma (AKA a collection of fluid under the surface of your skin). I waited over an hour in a hot room wearing paper and sweating through it to see the surgeon. He poked around with his fingers and said yeah there was fluid, but there wasn’t a good place for him to aspirate or put the syringe. He said my swelling is coming down and it should absorb eventually with time.

It’s uncomfortable in that I can feel it there. When I stand super straight it feels tight and like I have a big ol’ ball of something there. But it’s not noticeable to other people. And it’s a million times better than having the drain — because I can get in the POOL!

Yep. I waited until it was good and closed before getting in. I’m also getting in my own private pool which I know is extremely clean water and actually over-chlorinated. Were it a public pool, I’d wait longer. But this weekend we had two pool days!

K2 came over Saturday for a super fun Sorted Food live viewing with pool breaks in between. We love Sorted Food on Youtube. So I got us tickets to watch the live streams of their making 3 videos Saturday. It was, quite honestly, funnier than we even expected. And in between episode recordings, we got to hop in the pool. Sunday K had planned to come over but it’s supposed to storm all week, so we thought it would be a wash.

Even Sunday morning I was a bit discouraged that the pool had dropped 3 degrees. But K came over anyway. It turned out to be absolutely perfect. There was the occasional cloud, but super sunny and perfect water for floating around in an eggplant float or swim ring. So it was shorter than we’d like because of schedules, but it was the perfect pool day. Yay!

Oh, and I don’t notice that the implants float anymore than I floated before. In case you were wondering. I was wondering if they would. My breasts aren’t particularly loose or large, so I guess no improved buoyancy. I did point out my spiffy cleavage to my husband but he wasn’t particularly impressed. Only because I had to pad my bathing suits previously. I had to pad them all. So I usually used TWO cup size pads in my bathing suits which made me look much larger in the chest than I was. I threw all my cup pads away last weekend when I tossed my old bras! Woot!

Fucking Morons

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So I follow some plastic surgery groups. I started just before my surgeries to get the scoop and stay because I’m not healed up 100% and I can offer help to others. But my god, some of these people — they’re just fucking morons. Like unbelievably so. Don’t believe me? Here’s a 100% real post:

So… yesterday: they cut you in half, cut off a big chunk, then sewed the halves back together. 24 hours later and you’re hurting. Is this normal? Oh and they took your abdominal muscles tugged them around all the way up to your breast bone and sewed them together like a cheap voodoo doll. But aw, you hurt?

BOO FUCKING HOO, YOU MOTHER FUCKING IDIOT.

Jesus.

This is why I hate people. They’re just morons and/or selfish jerks. If you have a problem with the fact that I’m declaring the majority of the human race to be dumb fucks, you’re probably one of them. Congratulations.

If you’ve ever heard me say that you or I or we can do this because people dumber than we or I have done it — this is what I’m talking about. If this bitch can get and survive plastic surgery, by god you can too.

I really do believe I have a high pain tolerance, but maybe it’s less that that. Maybe, I’m just not stupid.

Pool Season!

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The pool is open! And it’s the PERFECT temperature: 82 degrees. But I can’t get in yet! I need to wait at least a week after the drain removal. Damn it.

I can’t even sit and enjoy it because the weeds around the pool stress me out. I can’t weed-eat because I’ve got drainage building up that i might have to have aspirated. So I can’t be “too active.”

BLAH! I still haven’t decided what to do about work.

Some Things 5/14

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1) So as you know, my precious cat Jack Jack is deaf. However, for 16 years, he’s “found” me by screaming for me. He wakes up and screams, I call out to him, he comes. So now he wakes up and screams, but gets nothing. So he just walks around screaming and caterwauling. This drives Mr C insane. But he did the sweetest thing.

I was laying down trying to get a nap when Jack started wailing and wailing and wailing. Mr C picked him up (he hardly ever touches the cat) and carried him into the bedroom where I was. Well, Jack didn’t see me immediately so he just screamed at Mr C till he finally walked over to me and Jack saw me waving at him. So Jack runs over for pets and Mr C goes back to his peace and quiet. So sweet of him to help my Jack Jack out.

2) Does your internal rage ever just jump immediately to full speed and you’re like “woooooah.” Like you didn’t even realize you were pissy and all the sudden you’re about to snap? That happened to me at Taco Mama. I was meeting up with friends for lunch. I was waiting in line. It’s important to know that at Taco Mama, the table numbers are just sharpied on triangles of wood. So he gets number 99. Now go away. Then he goes “haha, is it 99 or 66?”

Motherfucker, it won’t even stand up like that.

3) This job decision is really stressing me out. A lot more than it should. There’s so many pros and cons on both sides. I thought I had decided for sure — take the new position. But then I keep thinking of all the reasons not to. I’m not at peace about this.

Hair Loss

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So I’ve been balding for a good — well, over a decade. I think it started with thyroid and just kinda never stopped. Plenty of doctors have mentioned it to me. It’s obvious I’m balding. But, I mean, what can I do about it? It sucks. I choose not to ponder on it. It’s embarrassing. When I was in the car accident and had a huge knot on my forehead, even the ER doctor asked if I had seen anyone about my balding. Seriously? We have other problems here.

When it first started, I did think we could fix the problem. However, my doctor said it look like female pattern baldness. Well, fuck. In men, at least you expect some men go bald — but in women it’s especially embarrassing. So I just ignore it. I stopped dying my hair and getting cute hair cuts. I just wear it back in a clip. It is what it is. However, after so many doctors mentioned it, I was finally like fine! Refer me to the the dermatologist. I’ve never been to one and could use a skin checkout anyway. That came today.

First, because insurance and doctor greed, we couldn’t discuss my balding AND my skin. They have to be separate appointments because lord knows the doctors got to get his money. Can they just be back-to-back appointments? Nope, insurance don’t play that game. Pick one. So I went with the hair since that’s what initially inspired this visit.

His diagnosis, classic female pattern baldness. With PCOS for funnsies. I’ve known I had PCOS so no biggie. I was surprised to hear that he’d suggest I treat it with my regular doctor and metformin. My regular doctor did do a ultrasound a few years ago when I asked, but I didn’t have cysts on my ovaries so he decided I didn’t have it. Well, I knew I did, just didn’t care case I don’t want kids anyway. This doctor was like yeah, you have it. Not everyone has cysts, it’s a cluster of symptoms. So that’s interesting. I will pursue this later.

He decided to prescribe some medications. Propecia and Rogain. But, Mrs C, you can’t take Propecia — that’s only for men! Well, apparently it’s only for men because it causes wicked birth defects. But Mrs C can’t have no babies. When doc found out I already had my tubes removed he was like oh man, a whole new world of options just opened up. He even warned me that the pharmacist would probably give me a lot of shit and not to let it scare me. He warned me about the depression possibilities and confirmed that I see my psychiatrist regularly and am well controlled. No babies, so no birth defects. Can cause lowered sex drive — but I’m already on 3 antidepressants that do that. So Mr C and I have worked out the no sex drive thing pretty well. (Yes, we have plenty of sex, don’t worry).

Then he tossed on Rogain for more hair growth. Unfortunately, this might cause unwanted hair growth in other places — so were gonna try a low dose and see how it goes. I already have to shave my face because of the PCOS, so if it makes that worse, we can stop it. However, the propecia should actually help the facial hair thing so maybe they’ll cancel each other out.

So cool. Apparently, I should not have waited a decade. Treating early is the best results. But he does think I can get some hair growth. Wouldn’t that be cool? I’d love to not have bald spots. I don’t think I’ll get there but it’s nice to think it’s a possibility. I won’t see any results for 3 months and nothing close to full results for at least 6 months. And to keep any results you have to stay on the medication permanently. But I’ll give it a shot. Imagine if I got my hair back. I’d get highlights and a cute moppy haircut.

Some Things 5/11

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1) Got my last surgical drain out! Hell yeah! It’s gonna be swimming time soon! I even got to try on all my bathing suits! Plus order a new top piece!

2) They picked up my rented lift recliner. Farewell, friend. He was a good recliner. Jack was sleeping in it when they came for it. We shall both miss it.

3) Filling out medical paperwork to see the dermatologist on Friday and there’s this drop down for marital status:

16 options? Really? I had to google what the fuck “Interlocutory” even is. It sounds like something that happens when the Borg assimilate you.

3) My pool still isn’t open and it’s still surrounded by huge weeds. HELP NEEDED.

Job Decisions

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So I’ve been offered the other position in my company. I am currently a software engineer (SW), but I have been offered a configuration management (CM) position. I was hoping the decision would be helped by salary, however, it would be a “lateral move” meaning no salary change. Damn. In SW I have a nice hybrid schedule that’s almost 100% from home. In CM I’d be almost 100% in closed labs. So damn.

Damn. damn. damn.

The thing is, I’ve lost all confidence in my SW abilities — at least at this company. It’s just not the type of SW role I’m used to. It involves a lot of hardware interfacing. I don’t do that. I know nothing about that. I didn’t go to school for that and none of my 17 years of experience has been in that. CM, on the other hand, I can rock out. It’s easier work. Which is why it’s usually paid less. Which leads to my second problem: Am I stagnating my pay by changing? I’m pretty happy with my current salary, but still, it’s to be considered. Though not over quality of life by any means.

Also, I don’t think my current company plans to keep people on hybrid schedules. I think they’re using “hybrid” as a way to ease people back in. If they called for everyone back immediately, a lot would quit. But I really do think they’ll move in that direction. The question is how long will that be? I hate to go on site full time when I could be rocking it at home rolling out of bed and straight the the computer – no getting ready, no commute, no nothing. Makes getting to work “on time” an ace in the hole.

That’s really the only thing I’m stuck on. The loss of the hybrid schedule. But would I lose it in SW anyway? There’s no guarantee I get to keep it. I could be moved to a program tomorrow that needs me in house. Anything is possible. I’ve been shifted around on a LOT of programs in my short time at this job. And I don’t see myself staying at this job long term honestly. This is the first time I’ve said that out loud I guess. Maybe I could make CM long term there though? Hmmm.

Wednesday, I have a meeting with management and HR to ask my questions. They got to ask theirs and had a resounding “yeah let’s hire her.” Now, it’s my turn. Damn, so much to think about.

Damn, damn, damn.

Some Things 5/8

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1) How do people walk around using cracked phones? Friday I cracked the gorilla glass protector on my phone and it’s driving me insane. I ordered a new glass cover that will be here tomorrow but good lord it’s driving me crazy. How do yall put up with this shit? I’ve seen people using cracked phones for weeks. Fuck that, I’d be upgrading LOL

2) How do people with nipple piercings hide them? Since my breast lift, I’ve had a problem with pointy nipples. I sought help on the internet. How do you hide your pointy nipples? A lot of people use these silicone pasties, but I don’t want anything with adhesive since it gives me reactions sometimes. Someone suggested cotton balls – but like, really? I saw some makeup cotton pads in Ks guest bathroom and think I might try those. Turns out the only people who replied with nipple piercings just show them off loud and proud. Interesting.

3) I’ve been watching Sorted Food for the past few weeks/months. It’s a youtube food channel (linky). They’re doing a live viewing on the May 21st and K2’s gonna come over and we’re gonna make a day of watching them live record videos. Maybe with some pool intermissions.

4) For the love of God. I’m seeing the surgeon on Tuesday about removing my damn surgical drain. So great, right? Only today it has been draining DOUBLE. fuck you, drain! Are you kidding me? My pools gonna be open this week and I can’t even pretend to get in. And It’s not like I can just get in when the drains gone. The big hole has to heal up before I can get in. I’m going to a Memorial Day pool party with my family at my sister’s. She lets her dog swim in her pool. That shit has got to be healed solid before then! UGH. I’m honestly considering fudging the numbers.

5) Well, Mother’s Day. It hasn’t been so bad. I’ve tried to just ignore it. I sent my mother-in-law some live succulents earlier in the week so I took care of that. But I didn’t wish her a happy mother’s day today. Kinda on purpose. It just feels wrong. I wanna cancel this holiday forever.

I did plant some things in honor of mom. I put fresh sun ferns on the front porch. I planted the planter on the back stoop. It would look gorgeous if it wasn’t against the backdrop of 4 foot weeds sprouting through the pool rocks. I wonder if my boobs can handle a little weed eating? I’ll ask the doctor Tuesday.

Job Thoughts

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So I interviewed for the new position at my current company. New position would be easier and less open-ended, I feel. Which is great. However, it would also be 100% on site in a closed lab. I’ve gotten so used to working from home! Working from home is fucking sweet. At least give me the morning to roll out of bed and check my email.

So I haven’t been offered the job but I’m already hemming and hawing over it. Arrg.