Awww. So close.

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So my surgical drain has been 40cc’s give or take 5cc’s for a week. I’m 7 weeks post op tomorrow. So I called to see how long it was going to have to stay in before they call it on time like they did last time. The nurse remembered my case (winning) and that yeah, we just removed them because of time left in. So she said she’d talk to the surgeon and maybe we could get it out today or tomorrow. SWEET.

But alas, no. They called back super late and said the surgeon could see me next week. Yeah — another WEEK. And we’ll see about taking it out then. Lame. But hey they last ones came out at 9 weeks and next week will be 8 weeks …so… progress?

Some Things 5/2

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1) It’s so hard to tell the difference between “I’m balding and I like naps” and hypothyroidism. Like yeah, OK, I guess you could describe me as “tired, lethargic, and losing hair.” I’m literally balding, and lazy though. So like, I don’t know. Give me more thyroid hormones. Sure, I’ll come back and let you test me again in a month. Why not?

2) Tomorrow, I have a skype interview for a configuration management (CM) position. It’s with the same company. They just really need a CM person and my software boss knows I have experience in both so she said I should apply and I could maybe do half and half. Well, as long as the pay is the same, I’m in! I’ve stayed the software route because it has higher earning potential long term. However, I’m happy with my currently salary. So if they can match it in CM, bring it on. I can do all the paperwork you bitches want. And I’m so unhappy with how uncertain I am with the job right now. I’m so out of my element. It’d be nice to have some easy wins.

3) In the past two weeks, I’ve seen my psychiatrist, my plastic surgeon, my primary care doctor, and my neurologist. Does it count that I had to go by Jack’s vet to get his meds today too? So much time shuffling!

4) My sister is mad at me. She wanted access to moms Facebook and it locked her out. She was accessing it through moms old phone that she never should have had access to as it belonged to me and I had specified it be given to my other sister who needed a new phone as that’s what mom would have wanted. Other sister never got the phone. Sister1 kept it and has been using it to access her Facebook and pictures and I’m sure her private messages too. So…

Facebook locked her out. So she tried to recover the password with moms email that she’s also been accessing. But gmail locked her out. So she contacted me. I’m the recovery email for all of moms accounts. Why? Because I would set shit up for her when she asked, not give her shit or half jail-broken hand-me-down-equipment, and not berate her when she forgot her passwords. (Hence the reason the phone was MY property. I bought the phone and I paid the phone bill.) Anyway, Sister1 contacts me because I’m the recovery email and she “needs” access to moms Facebook.

I wouldn’t give it to her. I say that like I’m confident about it. First, I asked Mr C- holy shit what do I do? I don’t want her to have access, she has no right. And it’s weird. And invasive. And mom died over a year ago. Then I asked K. Then I asked moms bestest best friend. All informed me that I didn’t have to give her that info. In fact, moms bestie informed me that she hoped Sister1 hadn’t read moms private messages where she often poured out her heart and frustrations about living with my sisters to her best friends in confidence.

Well… I’ll bet you a million dollars sister1 has read all of that. All the text messages. All the emails. All the Facebook messages. She’s seen my mom describe her in her worst light. And I can’t imagine the unbearable pain that must have brought her. It explains a lot though. She’s been absolutely obsessed with mom since she passed. Moms hobbies have become sister1’s obsessions. She can’t and won’t let mom go. So hearing me tell her I wouldn’t reset the accounts kinda pissed her off.

To ensure that I held to moms honor and let her accounts be silenced, I went as far as to disconnect my email from her recoveries. Her accounts are now lost to the ether. It was like saying goodbye again. Letting the flowers drift into the ocean. Google asked if I wanted to disconnect ME@gmail.com from MOM@gmail.com as this was permanent and could not be undone. Well… I cried and I clicked it. Bye momma.

Not that Sister1 would accept that I can no longer rest the accounts. She became furious and said that I should never have made my self the recovery account if I wasn’t willing to recover them. She said she needed important financial information because she’d be left to deal with all of moms accounts.

Well, what the fuck kind of financial information do you need off of Facebook? And mom died over a year ago. I told her I’d be happy to handle any of mothers personal affairs that they had not just been left to her. She could forward me any correspondence and I’d get a copy of her death certificate from brother and take care of it. No responses after that.

All of the family has been their usual radio silence. No answering the phone or text messages. Oh well.

I do feel terrible for Sister1. Realizing she probably read mom talking shit about her and how much she hated living with her. God, that’s heart breaking. But sister1 brought it on herself by invading moms privacy. And I feel terrible that sister1 has now kinda become sister2s custodian. I do feel bad about that. But again, she let sister2 move in. Sister 2 tried to get me and Mr C to take in her cats. We said fuck no. Sister1 is more codependent and took her in. And it was only supposed to be 2 months… over 2 years ago. I’m sorry sister1. I really am. but I still won’t help you violate moms privacy over and over again.

It’s a terrible situation.

Tis the Season.. for POOL

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Went to Walmart to pick up my pool salt. They’re the cheapest, don’t judge me. Took Mr C to do the heavy lifting but turns out with the car pickup service, they would have done it for me. Nice. It’s my first time using the pickup service. I usually avoid Walmart like the plague. They’re shit to their workers and it’s insanely crowded with way too many people. I tell you what though, having someone just bring eight 40lb bags of salt out to my car for me was nice. Had I known it was that simple. I’d have gotten more than eight bags!

While waiting on my own salt, I saw another man pushing a buggy to his car with about five big bags of salt himself. Yep, it’s that time of year. Then, while in the Arby’s drive thru (hey, they HAVE the meats), the truck in front of us had a pool vacuum on a bike rack and their pool cleaning pole hanging out of the back. Yep, tis the season.

I’m not sure when exactly my guy is coming to remove my pool cover. I’m not overly concerned as I still have a surgical drain in so it’s not like I can get in. Last weekend he came by and dumped in a bunch of chemicals and turned the pump on to circulate. The cover is still on though. I have to pay him to install and remove the cover for me. That thing is like 200lbs. So not sure when he plans on doing it. Maybe next weekend?

I’ve got the salt ready! It’s reading a nippy 72 degrees. When the cover comes off it should heat up faster. Gonna be rocking my new boobs this pool season!

New Glasses from Pair Eyewear

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What if I told you that, in all of these pictures, I’m wearing the same pair of glasses?

That’s right, they’re all the same glasses! They’re the “Ella” from Pair Eyewear. The plain black base frames (available in other colors like clear) have magnets on them. This allows you to switch out an infinite number of toppers to match your hearts desires!

They release new collections of limited edition toppers a few times a month (on Wednesdays, I believe). So there will always be new ones for your fancy. And there’s already a huge community of custom makers who sell custom tops. My white fuck tops and the black bat wings are both custom orders. As far as limited editions, I already missed out on the bokah dots by mere hours! It was heart breaking. They were in my cart and then when I got my prescription uploaded and went to checkout, they had already sold out. Sad times. Sad times.

If you look around, there is generally a 10% off coupon for new customers — or you can use my referral link to save money and give me points toward purchases too! Here’s my link. Right now, in April — it’s worth $25. After April, I believe it will go down to $20.

The base frames start at $60 with simple prescription lenses. Each topper is $25 for regular, or $30 for sun toppers. I added on light responsiveness (knock-off Transitions), blue light filtering, and a bunch of toppers. I even got a sun topper. Why would I get a sun topper when I have the light responsiveness? To use in the car, baby! Hell yeah! Transitions don’t work in the car (they’re triggered by UV rays) — so now I can store my sun toppers in my console and drive in sunglasses! I got to try it for the first time today and I felt so cool.

I tell you what, these have exceeded my expectations. The quality of the frames is perfectly on par with frames you pay 5 times as much for. In fact, I’m suggesting Mr C get his next pair through them. Even if he doesn’t use the toppers, the price is excellent. They have a good return policy (I already returned one topper that made me look like I had a unibrow). I added on an optional warranty too. And the magnets are stronger than I expected. They work great! I’m in love.

I’m pretty sure K is already sold on buying the “Wandas” for a pair of cheaper glasses she can wear on trips where she doesn’t have to be heart broken over losing a pair of glasses that cost $800 in a lake.

Some things:

  • You can simply upload a picture of your prescription to the site.
  • There are lots of shape options. I have the “Ella.” If you look around, smart entrepreneurial types have already started selling card stock cutouts of the different frames for you to try on. I paid $5 for a full set to “try them on” before I committed.
  • If you know you pupil distance, awesome! Give it to them. If you do not, they have an app where you hold any card with a magnetic strip (AKA size of a credit card) up to your forehead and let it take a picture. This is what I did and mine came out perfect.
  • Seriously, use my referral link. You save $20 and I get a $20 credit to spend on toppers!
  • They have kids sizes as well as adult! Affordable for your kids to run around the playground in while rocking dinosaur toppers!

Six Weeks Post-Op

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In two days, I’ll be 6 weeks postop from my Breast Lift, Augmentation, and tummy tuck revision. I had my 6-weeks follow-up with the surgeon today. It was a “meh” appointment. The good news is that all of my incisions are healing up beautifully. One breast has dropped nicely and the other hasn’t moved. I have not been concerned about this as I’ve read so many times that they drop at different rates — two breasts, two different surgeries that heal differently. However the surgeon was more concerned.

Apparently, that breast is more tubular. He showed me on my “before” pictures and yep — the dropped breast was wider before. So he said I would have to work to “aggressively massage” them. He also put me in a band. It goes around you and sits on top of your breast to apply pressure downward — you know, pushing the breast down. So that’s all I need — ANOTHER thing to wear LOL.

I showed him my arm scars (from the arm lift in December). They’re keloiding near the elbows. So he gave me some silicone gel to massage into them twice a day. He wants to try that before injections. He gave me a $80 bottle for free, so sure, I’ll try it.

My hips are still comically swollen. Think I’m exaggerating? There’s almost 20lbs of fluid on these babies:

Look at all those layers I have on. That’s my bare minimum layers. Surgical bra, breast band, tank top, binder, underwear, and compression pants. As you can see, I’ve still got my drain. Ah drains, the bane of plastic surgery.

The nurse agreed with me that perhaps trying the bed again and having my hips level with my heart at night will probably help the fluid come down some. She also told me I gotta wear my compression pants. So I got out the compression pants. And let me tell you, getting my fat, swollen ass in those tight pants — Jesus. There was so much pulling and shaking and jiggling and just general unflattering gyrating to get those things up. I’m compressed now, okay?

Note the red glasses I’m wearing. More about those in another post…

How We Cook in the South

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1) Put everything in the pot. In this case: 2lbs carrots, 2 big ass onions, 2.5lbs pork loin

2) Stand in front of pantry. Start grabbing shit that sounds like it would be good “in there.” Gather an approximate arm full of shit.

3) Carefully measure ingredients in the palm of your hand, or go by how long you feel like shaking the container. Do this until it “looks good.”

4) Cook.

5) Spend the next 10 years trying to get it right again like that one time you made it and it was perfect.

NOTES:

  • Yes, I do make my own spice blends and store them in random containers with hand written labels. Usually, it’s following one of Alton Brown’s spice blend recipes. OK, all of them are. I love Alton Brown.
  • Baby carrots are the exact same fucking thing as big carrots. Yes they are, MIL! They have the same nutrients. No they aren’t less nutritious because they’ve been “through a machine” and “have rounded edges.” Don’t believe everything your stupid friend offhandedly said once. If you want a specific carrot type, be more specific on your fucking request. I’ll grant that maybe the big carrots have more nutrients in their skin or something — but you know what — you’re peeling them.

One Month Post Op #2

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This last week I hit one moth post op. Breast lift with augmentation and tummy tuck revision. I decided to try to sleep in the bed. I have my wedge from the last surgery so I could still sleep at an angle. It didn’t work out. I was so uncomfortable and didn’t get any sleep. I’m a side sleeper and my poor boobs just hurt too much when I tried to lay on my side.

I find myself very frustrated that it’s taking so long to recover from this surgery. I need to give myself more time, it’s only been a month. However, I feel like I was doing a lot more at one month post op last time. It’s just frustrating. Why do the boobs still hurt!? Maybe because they pried the muscle up and shove silicone balls in there? You have a point.

They’re so sensitive too. Like no sensation lost, that’s for damn sure. They ache, especially the areolas. Which to be fair, got cut out and re-positioned. I know I need to give myself more time, but damn. Hurry up. It’s so different because, were it not for the drain(s), I’d think my tummy was 100% healed up. No hurting there! I tried sleeping in a different bra and the boobs weren’t having it either. It was too tight.

Speaking of drains… Saturday night, I broke one of my drains. I was stripping them as I do twice a day, every day. As I did for 10 weeks on the last surgery. And… the tube just snapped like an old rubber band! Oops. I guess that drains coming out. There’s just, like, 3 inches of tube left hanging out. How in the hell?

UPDATE: So Sunday, I was unbandaging around my drains for my shower. I realized that the drain that snapped was pulled partially out — I guess from the snap. So I just pulled the rest of it out. Sorry, not sorry. It didn’t hurt at all. So just the one drain now. That’s a plus.

Easter

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It’s Easter. This holiday is a bit sad for me. Obviously, I miss mom. I haven’t decorated for Easter since she died. That’s two Easters. She just got so into Easter. She decorated like crazy. She loved getting everyone their favorite candies. She was all about weird flavors too.

She loved the flavored M&Ms. I remember the year they had carrot cake M&Ms. She was so excited for me to try one and guess the flavor. And one year she got us all different flavors of Jelly Bellys. I got peas and carrots because I love peas and carrots. The jelly beans were fruit flavored, don’t worry, they were just shaped like peas and carrots. She mailed them to me. The day they arrived she made sure I went to the mail box. She said she’d mailed me fresh peas and carrots to cook. She actually convinced me they were gonna be real peas and carrots in my mailbox. Ha.

I miss her so much. My Easter Bunny died.

Some Things 4/9

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1) Why is it never just standard size? I’m trying to replace a cover on our sprinkler system. Almost all of these covers all over the internet are 6 inch and 10 inch. So I ordered those. Nope. Mines somewhere between the two. The only 7 inch ones only come with the whole box, not just a lid option. Bastards! It’s never an easy fix is it?

2) Spring is in the air. We finally had our jungle of a lawn mowed. It looks ok now 🙂 The weeds don’t look like weeds if you mow them. Honestly, I wish we could just have a clover lawn. They make micro clover now that only grows 3 inches tall. Why spend all this effort on grass? I’d rather the clover. It’s not like we have an HOA. I’ll get Mr C on board one day.

3) I literally, JUST NOW, booked my tattoo appointment for November. Devon Greig Saturday November 5th. It’s a birthday present to myself! I’m so excited! I talked her into doing it piecemeal. She wanted to outline the whole sleeve at once. However, I’d like to do it in pieces. One, I want Jack first and as soon as possible. I also want completed pieces and not a partial tattoo for a few months between color sessions. And I think I’ll be able to tie more memories to it doing it in bits. Also, we can’t get to the scar cover ups for a whole 2 – 3 years. So the sleeve can’t be completed right now anyway.

4) Speaking of tattoos. I think the scars on my back are going to show in some bathing suits. So after my sleeve, I think I’ll want to cover my side scars in something. Thing is, I have no idea what. I don’t want a tattoo that goes all the way across my back. It’s just gonna “peek-a-boo” on each side where the scars in my bra line are. Good thing I have 2 years to contemplate this.

5) Ok, obviously I still have my tummy tuck revision drains. I’m sure I’ll have them the rest of the month. But man, the line has healed up great. I’m so so happy with the tummy tuck results. I love seeing my side view in the mirror without a huge stomach pudge. Not a belly — that pudge of skin I had that always stuck out further than my breasts. Now it’s gone! So happy with it.

6) Breasts are still healing. The massaging makes them sore. And I’ve got that popped stitch on my back which is a pain. Reaching for things tugs on your back skin — so where those incisions are is just a bitch. And the mismatch of the skin where the stitch popped — ugh it makes me shiver in disgust if I touch it. I hope it smooths out as it heals. But I’m not too worried. Even if it needs a revision, that’s something he can do in office with a little local anesthetic in the back and snip snip.

Still in the recliner. Might extend the rental another week. I can lay in the bed, but maneuvering around with my arms hurts because it engages my chest muscles. If I was only laying down and getting up once, that’s fine. But I’ve got to get up to pee a few times.

Plus my Jack likes me in the recliner. Will he start sleeping with me in the bed? I don’t know. But I love that he sleeps with me in the recliner.

7) Return to normal work schedules is Monday. I get to define what the will look like for me. I’m not sure what I want. I definitely don’t want to go in early. I like how my office mate works — he only goes in in the afternoons. But I’d also like to stay home some days. I think I’ll start with Monday thru Thursday in office afternoons and mornings and Fridays from home. See how that works out.

Three Week Post-Op

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Today I’ll go see my surgeon for my three-week checkup. This is from my breast lift and augmentation and tummy tuck revision. Technically it won’t be three weeks till tomorrow. But you know how doctors work: when they want to.

I’m extremely happy with my tummy tuck. That’s the surgery that has brought me the biggest self confidence boost for sure. Especially with the revision that smoothed things out some more. I still have a belly, but it’s a normal belly and not a melted wax figure belly. I love it. My arms are a struggle. The scaring is significant, especially around the elbows. And they’re still big arms. I have to keep reminding myself how bad they WERE. So when they start to get me down, I pose in the way that would have made all the crepe skin bunch up and drape and I feel better. Plus, eventually, at least one of these will be covered by a tattoo.

I’m not sold or unsold on the breasts. As I’ve said, naked they’re hands down great. But clothed, I don’t feel any umph from them. They’re also still extremely painful so I can’t just model them around and have a look-see. I’m too busy being very careful not to make them hurt. Also there is still a lot of swelling. I should have no side boob. But I have major side boob right now. So I can’t judge them yet. It’s just way too early in the process.

My drains were 60cc and 75cc yesterday so… yeah, not even pretending those are coming out any time soon! But at least this time, ones not partially pulled out and taped up ’cause I nicked it with scissors.

Still sleeping in the recliner in the living room. My master bedroom now looks like a bachelor lives there. Mr C living that single life up there.