I have bad news, but wait! Good news too.

I saw the plastic surgeon on Monday about doing my breasts in March. He thought breasts could be done for sure, but he also wants to do a scar revision on my stomach. Not because the scar is bad, but because there’s more skin he can get and tighten even more now that my swellings down. Nice. I also asked about getting all the side-boob fat. You know, the fat that you shove in your bra cause your boobs are more like a blob than a perky magazine chick in reality. He said he could totally get that, but there’d be a scar. OK. Have you seen me? I’m up to, like, 4 feet of scarring at this point.

I also asked him about the overhang on my elbows. He tried to address it with lipo, but it’s not a fat problem, it’s a skin problem. The skin from my shoulder to my elbow is just too long after losing weight. He was hesitant about that one. He said he’d consult with his peer and see what he thought. So they took lots of pictures. But the good news was — he said he wanted my last drain out this week! It was still draining too much but he said he didn’t care, he wanted it out this week. It’s only been 2 and a half fucking months. THANK GOD.

LIARS! Fucking Liars! We made an appointment for Friday to pull that last god damned drain. I went in and did it get pulled? No, it did not. Because for some reason, on Wednesday it decided to start shooting up in drainage. It was 80ml on Thursday. Yeah… Not the 15 they want or even the 40 it was when they pulled the other. So the nurse went to talk to the surgeon and he said nope, give it the weekend and call them on Monday with an update. Because at those levels, they’d need to aspirate fluid every other day and every time they do that you risk infection. FUCK.

Yall, I am not exaggerating that I left that office utterly defeated. I wanted to get a krispy kreme donut and cry and spend the day in bed. For real real. I settled for going to the store and buying ALL the keto snacks and working my damn job while eating chocolate.

But wait! In my extreme darkness, I forgot to ask the scheduler about the breast surgery. They never got back to me after Monday. She’s been holding March 15th for me. He’s booking in May right now, so if I can’t do March I have to wait till Fall. That’s because May is not enough time to heal before my pool opens. Well, they just hadn’t got back to me yet — but he’s totally cool with it. Boobs, side boob, and arm and stomach touch ups — all a go for March 15th. I even have my preop appointment scheduled for this Friday. Woot.

It’s definitely a woot. And I know I want my breasts done. However, this surgery I’m much much more anxious about than the last. First, with the revisions, how bad is the recovery going to be? I know breasts are an “easy” recovery, but he’s doing more to my arms and stomach too. Also, my arm scars aren’t that great. So hows this new scar in a whole new place on my arm gonna look? Is it worth it? I think it is but you never know because hind sight is 20/20 and foresight is fucking blind.

Also size. I’ve been sticking to a D or double D. I want to be big but not hard to shop for bras big. Is that too big? Mr C pushed for me to clarify DD because he wants me to go as big as I’m comfortable going. I’m fine with some DDs, but some peoples DDs are way bigger than others. How do I know whats in this guys head when I say DD? I dont want boobs so big that you can’t see my new flat stomach…

I’m scared. And I still have a fucking drain in. UGH.

Depression and Fucking JP Drains

So I see the surgeon on Monday for my 8 week follow-up (Tummy Tuck, Arm Lift — get caught up). Really, I was 8-weeks two days ago so it’ll be more like my 9-week follow up. I still have my surgical drains. The longest I can find on the internet is a reference that they can drain for 1-5 weeks. I was originally told they’d be in for 3 weeks. Then it became when they’re under 15cc per bulb per day. OK.

Then last time I saw the doctor (2-weeks ago) he said that he’ll take them out at 8 weeks anyway. Well, his nurse corrected him that they wouldn’t. The nurse again reinforced that they can not come out until they are down to 15cc per day when I called to complain that one of the drains is turning cloudy and smelly. So I’ve been looking forward to Monday, but as it get closer (and keep in mind, I’m depressed over here anyway), I’m thinking: Holy shit, they’re not going to take them out.

To see if I was right or the nurses were right, I charted the data. Maybe they’re going down in a very slow, languid progression. December to January looks great:

But wait a minute — lets zoom in on January:

They aren’t going down! And maybe it’s just because my body doesn’t like plastic tubing in it. But you can’t tell me they’ll go down while I’m looking at FOUR WEEKS OF DATA WHERE THEY DIDN’T GO DOWN. That’s a week longer than they were supposed to be in there in their entirety — 4 weeks of nothing. Everyone on the facebook groups I follow had them out in a few days or at two weeks (for those who have it done in Miami and then go home and have to have a doc take them out). No measurements, just a time frame. Well my time frame done passed on by.

Yall pray for me. Yes, I printed out my data for the doctor. But you know how often doctors listen to patients. And lord knows his nurses are only concerned with quantity. Even though one of them has gone from crystal clear yellow drainage to cloudy and increasing and smelly. I kinda think that’s a problem. I’m just looking forward to talking to the DOCTOR Monday and not his fucking “how much did they drain yesterday” god damned nurses.

PS: I acknowledge that they are still draining a lot. And taking them out might cause me to need to have the fluid manually drained. But I just don’t think they’re going to go down anymore with the drain system still in there. I think my body wants it out. I also think there are injections you can give to encourage it to close up. I’m gonna research those too.

Some Things 1/18

  1. I’m seven weeks post op tomorrow (tummy tuck and arm lift). Nothing really new to talk about on that front. Yes, I still have my cursed drains. I saw the doctor yesterday for a regular followup and he said they remove them at 8 weeks. The nurse replied with “not when they’re at 40!” and he didn’t reply. So he scheduled to see me in 2 weeks. That’ll be almost 9 weeks post op. I have faith that he’ll take them out at that appointment no matter what. I honestly think at this point, maybe the drains themselves are making the wound not heal up faster. They were on a steady decline to 35/40 until January started. They’ve not moved since (except one day number 2 shot up but it was just that once). So I’m scared they’ll have to drain fluid with a needle if they remove them, but I also haven’t been laid since NOVEMBER.
  2. At least he took off my 10lb lift limit. I can pick up things now! Rather than stare sadly at them and ask someone else to do it.
  3. Mr C’s birthday was yesterday! The big 40! I made him the lemon tart (recipe here) that he loves because he got chocolate mousse for Christmas. I made it all — the giant pain in the ass. I used M’s tip to mix the crust pastry in the food processor rather than by hand — GENIUS. I juiced all the lemons, I zested, I custard-ed. I clean up all the dishes and then went to put the beautiful tart in the fridge and saw one and a half sticks of butter on the counter. Fuck fuck fuck. I had to dump out all the custard, put it back over the heat and dissolve all the butter then pour it back in. It doesn’t seem to have suffered for it but damn. Close one. I was so pleased with myself before I saw that butter too.

Revisiting Surgery Preparedness

A lot of people looking to have plastic surgery are desperate for information. What do you need? How will you feel? Whats gonna happen? Well, I’ve written a lot of posts about how I’ve prepared for my surgery (Tummy Tuck / Abdominoplasty with Placation and Arm Lift / Bracioplasty). Here, I’m consolidating and revisiting what I actually used and found helpful. If you want more detail of my journey, visit the “Plastic Surgery Journey” category to grab those posts.

First, lets start with what I haven’t mentioned on the blog specifically. Before the surgery, I packed a suitcase. This suitcase had everything I could wear in it. This way I could get my care givers to get me fresh pants or underwear or shirts without them having to dig around for them. Here’s what it had:

  • Four pairs of BAGGY pants. I specifically ordered yoga and sweat pants that were one size too big for me. They were comically large — until I had surgery and swelled up like a balloon. I had read other people having to wear their boyfriends pants, well Mr C is skinny so I had to buy my own. YOU NEED BIG PANTS. You need loose clothes. LOOSE.
  • Button up / zip up shirts. Your arms can’t function — how you gonna put a shirt on? How are you gonna access your stomach binder and drains. You’re gonna be wearing open front shirts – that’s how. I couldn’t even pretend to put on a tshirt until week 3.5 and I still don’t want to in week 4.
  • Brief-style underwear. You might not wear underwear at first. The drains might, like mine, be coming from your mons pubic area. I, however, found that I prefer to wear underwear so that the drain tubes are held in place when I pull up my pants. You don’t want your care givers rifling through your underwear drawer and bringing you lacy bikini bottoms.
  • Compression socks. These were required for my first two weeks.
  • Compression pants. After my first week appointment, I was told to wear compression pants to help with the comical swelling of my thighs.
  • Compression arm sleeves. Some people are fine with the ace bandages they were sent home in. I was not. Those things were tight and itchy and drove me NUTS. Order multiple types to see what you like. Then order and extra pair of the one you like. ‘Cause you can’t wear deodorant and your underarms get stinky so washing will be required at some point.
  • Zip front bras. Yeah, same as the shirts. I’m a month post op and still cant put on a regular bra.

The next most handy thing I had was clutch. CLUTCH. I’ve mentioned it many times already — LIFT RECLINER. I rented a lift recliner. Having your stomach done, you can use your arms. Having your arms done too? Kinda fucked then. The proper way the nurses showed us to move me around was to bend over and let the patient hug you and then rise with them. It sounds so easy but it’s not. You don’t have to buy this thing — rent it! I paid $150 for the month and that included delivery and pickup. I just googled “medical supply store” near me and found three places that rented them out. It was required. I lived in it. It was my world for 2 weeks solid. And it got me up without fail and without my care givers freaking out about ripping my arms open.

Something no one mentions but appears in all their videos: Straws. I bought some long bended silicone straws. Your arms are so swollen and tight you can’t reach your mouth. You need a straw.

My well organized baskets from this post: “Surgery in T minus 4 days“. All three baskets were useful. It was great to be able to move them around to where I needed them. The hygiene basket mostly stayed in the bathroom. The medicine basket mostly stayed in the kitchen (but note how I had labeled all my medication in layman’s terms. That was a god send for my caretakers. Also visit that post for details like how you’re gonna NEED some stool softeners). The wound care basket was clutch though. Sometimes we did my wounds in the recliner. Or in my bedroom after my showers. Sometimes it was even in the kitchen. We didn’t have to grab a bunch of stuff or worry about forgetting something, we just grabbed the basket. So convenient. Here’s what it had repeated:

  • Gloves
  • Bandages
  • Medical tape
  • Brand new clean scissors
  • Qtips
  • Polysporin (the latter two for around the drainage sites)
  • Antimicrobial soap
  • Alcohol wipes (using one of these to strip your drains makes it a breeze — tip of the day).

I’m gonna mention stool softeners again. I’ve never had a problem with constipation. Even after surgeries. So I wasn’t too worried about this. However, I was instructed to start stool softeners 2 days before surgery and a laxative after. You gonna NEED THIS. I did as I was instructed and about three days post op, I felt like I was shitting shards of glass. That’s AFTER 5 days of stool softeners. Do what you are told for sure.

Rent a rollator or have chairs strategically placed. You’ll need a chair in the bathroom for brushing your teeth. You’ll need a chair in the shower. I also used it in the kitchen where I emptied my drains. But DON’T USE A WALKER! My doctor was very adamant — NO WALKERS. He said for 24 hours you can hunch. After that, your abdomen needs to be standing tall. You can walk loose and bend at the knees to relieve the pressure on the incision but you don’t want those newly repair ab muscles to heal in a hunchback position. No one needs that.

Pillows! Get all the pillows! Your arms need to be raised at all times. Or your hands will swell. It sucks. You also need a pillow under your knees — EVEN IN THE RECLINER. This reduces strain on the tummy tuck incision. You’ll need this when you move to the couch or bed too.

Binder. I already mentioned the arm sleeves. But you’ll have a tummy binder too. The one I was sent home in was difficult to put on. I had to have a friend come help Mr C put it back on me every time I took a shower because you have to have them so tight and well, your own arms are useless. At two weeks I switched to one I got on Amazon with three “belts” that velcro instead of one big piece. This means you can just stick one on there immediately to hold it around you. This allows you to line up your foam pads, move your drains, and make sure it’s centered. Then you can pick one of the other “belts” and strap it tight. Then pick another. Then another. Then keep doing them over and over in increments until you have it on tight enough. I bought this one from Amazon. I’ve got another being delivered this week that has more boning. We shall see if I like it better.

Lanyard or drain pouch. They sell pouches that hang around your neck to hold your drains in the shower. My doctor actually gave me a lanyard with their phone number on it so I could hook my drains to that in the shower. I also used it when I was sleeping in the recliner covered in pillows to attach my phone to. I had very limited reach and a lot of pillows all over me. Being able to retrieve my phone from around my neck was clutch for the first few days. And you gotta have something to hold your drains in the shower. Period.

Protein drinks. I drink Premier Protein but your body needs protein to heal. A LOT of protein. And you’re wearing a corset so you cant eat it all. Drink that shit.

This last thing — I hope you don’t need. 4 weeks in, I was doing great. I was undoing my drain dressings so I could hop in the shower and… I nicked a drain tube. It immediately lost suction. I freaked out. I called the doctor and they told me to go buy “medical foam tape” — it’s waterproof and stretchy. I sent Mr C out immediately to get some while I panicked about how I done fucked up. After a few attempts, though, I got it to hold suction again. So yeah, life saver. Be careful with those drains!

EDITED TO ADD: Toilet riser. I was in the best shape I’ve ever been in going into this surgery so strong legs were a key ingredient. Yeah squats! However, our house has “comfort height” toilets. If you have those regular short toilets, buy you a cheap toilet riser. It can be cheap — you don’t need it to last a year or two or three, just a few weeks. You’re only gonna have your legs to get you up off that toilet — don’t go down so low you can’t get back up!

Four Weeks PostOp

Today marks four weeks from my surgery (Tummy Tuck / Abdominoplasty with Placation and Arm Lift / Bracioplasty). I’m healing up really well! I still have the small opening in my tummy tuck scar, but it is healing up slowly and not infected or anything.

I still have my cursed drains. They have to be below 15cc each for three consecutive days to be removed. They’ve been hanging out around 60-75 all week. So yeah… I had hoped I could get them out Friday when I get back in town. Looks like I’ll still have them when I return to work! At least I’m working from home.

Oh, speaking of. Sunday, I got a text from my boss that he quit. He’s the only person I knew and the one who hired me. So that’s weird. No idea what this job is going to be like.

Anyway, post-op. I’m doing well. I can take care of myself completely now. I can even do my own bandages over the drains and stuff. Swelling has gone down tremendously. I can reach my feet! I’ve missed my feet. I can put on my own socks! I’m still really swollen in the stomach and arms, obviously, but my legs are returning to normal.

Another 11 hour journey in the car tomorrow. Last one was rough. I got nausea even with the anti nausea patch and had to resort to my surgery anti-nausea pill. We had to stop every two hours per doctors orders, but it was more like per my bladder.

Wild West

It’s like the fucking wild west over here! I saw the doctor today as scheduled. 19 days post-op. He barely looked me over. He did look at the little wound opening but it’s not bad apparently. I had to make him look at the drain holes to make sure they were fine. He asked if I had any questions. Oh I have questions.

Can I switch to this binder (I had pulled it up on Amazon because I forgot to bring it) instead of the one they sent me home in?

As long as it’s supportive you can wear whatever you want.

Do I still need the lipo foam?

Is it bugging you?

Yes?

Then you don’t have to use it if your new binder supports your back.

I’ve been sleeping on a wedge with my shoulders and knees raised on my back but I’m a side…

You can sleep however you want.

However I want? FUCK ME. I’ve been over here on the couch carefully positioned between two wedges on my back with my arms out. And you’re telling me I could be in my bed on my side? It’s the Wild West! Wear what I want, sleep how I want. What the fuck!? I thought we had rules!

The only rule that stands is that I can’t have these bastard drains out until they are under 15cc per drain per day. Fuck. They’re around 100cc right now 🙁 I swear he put them right there so I could see what it was like to have balls.

Well, Mr C is very happy he doesn’t have to help me get in that old binder anymore. New binder is much easier to put on.

2.5 Weeks Post-Op

So I’m 17 days out from my surgery. Abdominoplasty with Placation and Bracioplasty — AKA a tummy tuck and arm lift. I have to pee. Like a lot.

After surgery, my hips and thighs swelled to comical proportions (especially compared to my new slim waist line – I’m a fucking XL anime chick over here). I was afraid I’d get new stretchmarks! They were rock hard, they were so swollen. Now I’m starting to get jiggly again. Lord help, I never thought I’d be thankful for jiggly thighs. So my swelling is finally going down! WOOT WOOT!

However, that fluid has to go somewhere. And that somewhere goes right through my bladder. Basically every time I get comfortable, I have to pee again. I should be a pregnant lady over here with my lift recliner and bladder that has me peeing every hour! I laid down on the couch and Jack (the cat) got comfortable and then I had to get up. He heavily sighed at me and went to sleep on his heated bed under the Christmas Tree.

I’m not sure if this is a result of the Bromelain I started taking on Friday or just coincidental timing. I know most people say the 2/3 week mark is when they start feeling more like themselves. Or hey, I’ll take the magical pineapple extract theory too. Though, I will say I went through three containers of Arnica extract and it didn’t do shit. I waited on the Bromelain because I read it could affect blood thinners which I was on for the first week.

Yay, jiggly thighs!

Some Things 12/17

1) My poor sweet kitty, Jack, has a cold. Yesterday, bless him, he was a mess. Sneezing and mouth breathing with watery eyes. K was going to help me take him to the vet today but he’s doing much better. He woke up when I did and went straight to his food bowl. He ate a good bit and meowed (you can tell he sounds congested) and harassed me and purred for pets. So he’s feeling much better. I’m so glad.

3) I hear Mr C whistling the Top Gun theme song. I guess Christmas music is getting old. At least he’s happy. He only whistles when he’s happy.

2) My surgery recovery is well. I had two breakdowns yesterday. One, the physical. I noticed leakage from my tummy tuck incision. Oh no. I freaked out. I sent pictures. I talked to the doctor. It’s dead skin and a popped stitch. It might turn into a gross wound that takes a while to heal. But it’s normal. Just put some ointment and a bandage on it. EWWW. Dammit.

The second breakdown was mental. Combine me worried about my precious being sick with a OPEN WOUND – Panic. I had a panic attack. I laid down for bed (on the couch) at 7:30 pm. I was so upset with myself. “What have I done!?” And freaking out — I did everything right! Tons of protein, being careful, watched all the videos, got all the supplies, followed all the directions — why me boo hoo.

One Week Post Op

So it’s been one week since I had my tummy tuck and arm lift. I had a follow-up with the nurse this morning. Since everything looks great, I get… MORE COMPRESSION. You thought that binder was tight before — wooh, no way baby. This thing is now as tight as if you used some cable tighteners to get it cinched. Damn. Like I ain’t bending at all. Not because my abs can’t, but because I have been bound so tightly. I feel like a china doll.

So my belly button hurts. Hence I’m not napping, hence I’m posting here. I’ve been trying to get a good way to access my laptop but I just can’t. My arms need to be raised, so it makes logistics difficult. This also very much bothers my cat. The pillows take up my lap. So now whenever I go to move or get up and move the pillows or especially when I’m sitting back down, before the pillows are out, he pounces on an open lap. Poor guy.

So I’m looking great according to the nurse. They took off 15lbs total between skin and lipo. I have a very swollen hourglass. Comically swollen. Over 7lbs of what they took off was skin. Bleh. I saw the pictures. It was a lot.

I’m so glad I prepared for this surgery. I knew what to expect and I went in as prepared as I could be. The lift recliner is REQUIRED. It’s where I live. It allows me to get up and sit down on my own. It’s required. The crossfit that got my legs ready to be able to squat all my weight easily — also required. Thank GOD. If I was my old jello self, I just don’t know how I’d be getting around. Also, thank God for our tall toilets. If you have standard short toilets, you’ll want riser.

The rollator is up for debate. A walker is completely unneeded and bad for you. My doctor wants me walking upright — not hunching. Today I got in trouble for hunching too much and I thought I was doing damn good! However, the rollator is a very convenient that seat I can easily roll where ever I need it. The height of the seat makes it easy to get in and out. I use it in the kitchen to empty and clean my drains. I use it in front of the bathroom sink to clean up and brush my teeth. I use it in the bedroom to sit on when I get out of the shower and need help getting dressed. Plus I can easily move it around on my own. So I’m extremely glad I rented it. But strategically placed chairs could serve the same purpose.

I’m also glad I labeled all my medicines in layman terms. This has helped me as well as my care takers. Need a muscle relaxer? Whats it called? I don’t give a shit, it’s the one that says “muscle relaxer.” Oh and thank God for protein shakes! I’ve been living off them! Thanks to K3 who keeps ordering them for me with her Sam’s Club membership.

Recovering day 3

So it’s Saturday. I had my tummy tuck and arm lift on Wednesday. My recovery is going well. Thank goodness for all the cross fit I’ve done before hand. The back and leg muscles are doing me quite well. The “lipo-itch” is starting to kick in. Man, I want a back scratcher! But thanks to the lift chair I can easily get up and down. Well, “easily” isn’t quite right, but I can do it. Lift chair is the VIP of the household right now. I hope the inventor is making a ton of money off this product.

My poor Jack (cat) is unhappy. He hasn’t been able to sit in my lap and my niece is bugging the shit out of him. He hissed at her a minute ago. Ha. Told you to stop bugging him. He’s like 80, just let him sleep.

Thankfully I’ve been getting good sleep. The antinausea pill makes me sleepy.