Games, Games, Games!

Since my brother-in-law visited, we’ve been playing so much Terraforming Mars. All the Terraforming Mars. Which is great in a lot of ways. Firstly, tonight I came in second to Mr C. I’ve been getting my ass kicked pretty hard, but I had a solid showing tonight. Second, we’ve dropped a lot of on this game. Between the actual game and every single expansion including the new “big box,” I’m easily into this game for $250. With optionals like board trays and new game markers, might be closer to $300 or $350. No regrets.

You know we collect board games? Well, if you didn’t know, we collect board games. We love having friends over for games. I designed our house and we specifically made room for a large dining table with loads of room around it for moving around. In our old apartment, everyone was trapped. God forbid someone have to get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom. Here, you have all the room you could want. We can even set up extra card tables for shit like Eclipse. Eclipse is too much for me.

Terraforming Mars, however, is an excellent game. It’s won awards for best game. Check it out on Board Game Geek (clicky). It has lots of awards in languages I don’t even understand. That’s because it’s a hell of a solid game. It takes a few hours (which go by so much faster with experienced players like M & A tonight). It looks crazy confusing and a lot of work, but it’s not really once you learn it. I also like games where there are loads of ways to earn points so you’re not sure, until the end of the game and all points are tallied, who actually won the game. Tonight we were all sure A had it in the bag, but nope! Mr C won and I came in second. It was a big twist ending when everything was added up.

I’m also loving the Big Box expansion. It was $99 and Mr C thought it was worthless, but we’ve been glad to have it. I actually love the 3D tiles. They’re so much more fun than the cardboard chips. Also, the organization is top notch! Getting the game out and putting it away is so much quicker. Card holders with tabbed organization, cube holders, money boxes (even one for each side of the board!) – all the organization. Also means all of the expansions are in one box. A huge box, granted, but better than 5 or 6 smaller boxes with 20 million little zip lock bags.

Man we’ve been playing so much of it though! I’ve been getting burned out on it, actually. However now that we’re back to just once a week, I think we’re good. I had a work friend over last night to play and that was fun but man, playing with new people is so slow. Tonight was better. It went fast — though I was super hot for some reason — am I hitting menopause!? Nextweek is K & A. That should be fun too.

On a random, lighter note: I haven’t given up on getting every god damned villager’s photo in Animal Crossing. I will get them all. Mint is the last hold out. But the light note: Getting all the villagers to curse is, like, the best part of the game. They all say “bitches” – Roald calls me “assbutt” and a few call me “motherf*cker” (yeah, working around their preset blocked words is hard). Gawd it’s funny though. I’m easily amused by such things.

Rhaegal: the Dragon of Majesty and Scams

I got a good one for you today, folks. I got SCAMMED. I got scammed hard and hilariously. Meet Rhaegal:

I ordered Rhaegal from the scam website freshyness.com (*Clicky* but NOTE IT’S A SCAM SITE). He was to be K’s house warming present. A regal dragon to stand in front of her new house and be decorated for various holidays. An epic creature of grace and fun.

Instead I received Rhaegal: the Inflatable Dragon of Majesty and Scams.

I saw that Rhaegal was being delivered today on USPS’s delivery dashboard. I was so excited that I showed him off to people at work. I was going to hide him in the storage closet and have K fetch a pool float from the closet when she comes over Sunday. I was so excited! Then I got home and had this awesome pool float in my mailbox. I thought someone sent me a fucking sweet pool float as an anonymous surprise! It’s not unheard of, I send my friends little gifts and sometimes they send me little gifts. And I mean, look at it — that has me written all over it. But when I contacted everyone who might have sent it, they all denied it. That’s when it slowly began to dawn on me… this is Rheagal…

Jokes on those bitches because I love it! I would totally have bought this for the pool at a reasonable price.

Thank god for credit cards. I already contested the purchase and will have my money back in 15 days or less. FREE POOL DRAGON, bitches!

To be clear though, the website freshyness.com is a complete scam. It’s a chinese company that sells expensive awesome shit and sends you cheap, but still kinda awesome shit. Don’t buy anything from them. And always use a condom. I mean Visa card.

Not a speaker review

So I bought a bluetooth speaker for the pool. Nothing extravagant, just a little speaker. I was going to write my review for it here. I’m trying to get a post AND an Amazon review out of my reviews. However, this one would start rather depressingly if I were honest. Not exactly good for the helpful votes. See I bought the speaker, because I’m lonely.

I’ve said many times that mom was my pool buddy. I’ve been worried about missing her a lot so one thing I did was buy the speaker. That way I could have music by the pool. And it works. It’s less lonely singing along to my Pandora station while I float around. But I still miss mom. And yet, I feel I don’t miss her enough.

I suppose it could be massive amounts of antidepressants, of course. But I feel like I’m just not sad enough. Yet, there is an infinite sadness if I stop long enough to look for it. It’s so weird. It’s like I don’t miss her in my day to day. My day to day goes on. I do what I do. It’s like life has not changed (even though, rationally, it has) — like she was just deleted all of the sudden. Like maybe she was never there — just *poof* gone.

There doesn’t seem to be an intrinsic piece of evidence of her existence. Sure there’s pictures and her room and her urn… But those are only evidence someone existed. They’re evidence a human was here. Of course I had a mother. Bot there’s not evidence that SHE was here. That that special person I had was here. And I feel like my continuing on day to day without more mourning than I have is a injustice to her. Like an insult. Like she can be replaced by a radio.

There’s no epic conclusion. I don’t have some wrap-up planned here. Much like life, this post doesn’t really end. It’s just me blabbering about.

Grief is weird. And there’s no one to point me in the right direction.

Plastic Surgery?

So I’m (maybe?) starting a plastic surgery journey! This is my first post. Notice the new category šŸ™‚

So I’ve wanted plastic surgery for a long time. I’ve been fat all my life. I was almost 400lbs when I went to college. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2005 and wanted surgery to remove excess skin then, but had no way to afford it. Over the years I gained most of the weight back — up to 320lbs. Then, 3 years ago, I went keto and lost most of it again. I’m currently a happy 234 (hoping to get back down to 220). I fit in a womens XL which is easy to find and buy anywhere and I’m a little smaller than when I met Mr C. So win! I know I’m still medically considered obese, but im a good obese. And compared to 400 — I’ll take it!

So I still want skin surgery. My arms are a disaster and my stomach is a lumpy mess.

It’s been stated that I would have this surgery but a time frame was never put on it. One of my friends even jokes about the cake we’re going to have at my boob coming out party! And I joke all the time about “when I get my boobs.” Recently, I was asked what I’m waiting for by my husband. And well, I didn’t know it was an option. We’re so focused on saving money and, well, saving money — that it didn’t occur to me I could do it before we met a few more goals. Then bro-in-law also asked what I was waiting for. So… I booked a consultation.

I asked for recommendations on some weight loss forums and reddit. The main guy everyone recommended only does people below 185lbs. Well, that’s not happening. Sure I could work my ass off (literally) to get to that, but what’s the point if I can’t maintain that weight? I want to look good at this weight.

So Mr C and I are seeing our second choice surgeon in August! I know that sounds so far away, but I wouldn’t have the surgery while the pools open anyway. I wouldn’t be able to maintain the pool, one. And two, I wouldn’t be able to use the pool. Also, this lines up with the job switch coming up in October — so maybe this is Gods timing working out for me!

I want to have 3 surgeries (hopefully combining at least two): Arms, stomach, boobs. My stomach and my arms bother me the most, by far. But I’m not sure they can combine those two. I suspect the way we will go is a “mommy makeover” first – which is torso (stomach and boobs) followed by a separate arm surgery. Not sure they can do all three at once. Highly doubtful.

I showed Mr C the before and after shots on the surgeons page and we were both blown away. So I’m super excited. And it feels really good to have something on the horizon that I’m super excited about too. So many possibilities! Finally getting that 3/4 sleeve tattoo! Our 10 year anniversary pictures in my old wedding dress, adjusted for a much smaller me with bigger boobs! All the fantastic sleeveless 50s dresses! I’m very excited.

Visiting Guests

Sorry for the lack of post this week. My Bro-In-Law is visiting. So far we’ve been to a Trash Pandas baseball game, a hot air balloon festival, and played a shit ton of games. So many games. It’s a cold snap so lame that we can’t use the pool.

I’m gonna need a vacation after this long vacation weekend. I need more zone-out time!

And my whole family is coming up for Memorial Day on Monday! So much stuff I gotta get done today!

Insurance is such a fucking scam.

Doctor to Pharmacy: “This patient need this medication.”

Pharmacy to Insurance: “This patient needs this medication.”

Insurance to Pharmacy: “Do they though?”

Pharmacy to Doctor: “Insurance wants to know if they really need this medication.”

Doctor to Pharmacy: “Did I stutter?”

Pharmacy to Insurance: “Yes.”

Insurance to Pharmacy: “Fine, Whatever.”

Pharmacy to Patient: “Your medication is ready.”

Why the fuck does this process exist? I’ve never EVER had a doctor change their mind and go “OK, they don’t really need it.” And I take a shit ton of medications. It’s just a way for insurance to stall paying what they’re supposed to pay. I’m so mad!

We’re currently in pre-lawsuit with insurance about an accident I had in 2019 (yes, thats 2 years ago) because they don’t want to pay what they SAID THEY WOULD PAY. We’re not even to the lawsuit part yet because insurance is dragging every single step out as long as possible. And now I’m stuck in this prior medical authorization needed loop with the pharmacy over a medication.

Isn’t the whole doctors prescription thing ITSELF the prior authorization? Like not everyone can or should take these medications so you need a prescription. It’s the fucking authorization. I could see if, maybe, a nurse practitioner wrote the prescription and you want a more authoritative position — but not the doctor themselves. It’s so stupid!

Since the aforementioned accident, I’ve suffered from headaches pretty badly. Physical therapy helped a ton and I’m also on a migraine shot once a month (which also required prior authorization when it was prescribed — oh and would have cost me 1k out of pocket but $5 for insurance — but thats ANOTHER post all together). This shot works great — but not for the whole month. Towards the end of the month I start getting daily headaches again as the shot wears off. This leads to me taking a shit ton of Excedrin Migraine.

Well, apparently thats really bad for your kidneys. So my NEUROLOGIST prescribed another medication I can take as needed or every other day towards the end of the month. It’s apparently the same medication thats in the shot and I can use the pills as a booster. He says he sees patients with my problem all the time. The shots great but it doesn’t last. So this way you can boost it and get through to the next shot. This medication has next to no side effects (maybe some nausea — but by the time you need the pill, you’re probably already nauseous). Where as over-the-counter pain killers will eventually kill off my kidneys.

Well he prescribed it a week ago! I got back to his office the NEXT DAY when I was told it needed prior authorization and I still don’t have the damn pills. My head is killing me! Why is insurance such a fucking scam? I hate it. This prior authorization process requires no less than SEVEN calls that don’t involve me at all. It’s just a lot of bureaucracy to postpone or try to avoid paying.

I’m going to go slam my Dammit doll on the counter while I toss back some Excedrin Migraine.

Review: AMMSUN 17″ Beach Umbrella Table Tray: A drink table IN. THE. POOL.

Look at how perfect this is! I have an umbrella anchored in the middle of my pool and now it has a table on it! No bugs crawling on our drinks. No moving the drinks and tables to keep them in the shade — they’re always in the shade now! And it’s huge! It even holds my 32oz insulated thermos!

Five out of five stars. I am thrilled with this product! It even came with a completely unnecessary but high quality carrying bag. Let me tell you, this is PERFECT for the pool. I might buy more for my other pool umbrellas. It’s perfect for having coffee on the tanning ledge. It’s perfect for parking your cold water or wine while you drift on a float. Throw some extra sunscreen on there so you don’t burn. You never have to get out of the pool now! It’s perfect.

I’m even going to amp it up to 11. I got out my dremel to add drainage slots to the snack trays and am spray painting it lime green to match my pool furniture.

I’m so happy with this purchase (Amazon link — clicky clicky)! I was afraid it wouldn’t hold my favorite beverage containers, but everything fits great! It’s wonderful. Did I mention perfect for the pool? All the stars.

Some Things 5/19

1) Someone called themselves an ā€œart nerdā€ for knowing Banksy’s ā€œGirl With Red Balloon.ā€  God, I hate people who think they know everything about art because they took one art course or know an almost commercial artist.  Fucking most people know who Banksy is.  HE OPENED A SHOP ON HIGH STREET (it wasn’t a real shop, it was another art piece).  You can buy his merch.  He’s not some obscure urban artist.  He’s in the (BBC) news all the time.  Even if he was obscure, fuck you for acting like a gate keeper. 

2) Yes, I have anger issues.  Especially since mom died, I kinda just want beat the shit out of someone.  Like, someone who deserves it, not a random person.  Can someone try to steal my purse so I can just beat the living day lights out of them and get this frustration and anger out?  Is that weird?  Pull a gun on me, I DARE YOU.  I will John Wick your ass with a pencil.  A FUCKING PENCIL. 

3) I ordered a Dammit Doll.  I also ordered three more Dammit Dolls for my besties (I don’t think M & D read my blog, they be lazy).  Cause sometimes you need to beat the shit out of something.  So we can just beat these on our work desks like Bob Ross beats his paint brush.   

Codependents Anonymous

I’m going to attended a virtual (zoom) CODA meeting tonight.  That’s Codependents Anonymous.  So this started as me wanting to help a friend attend CODA.  You know, I’d be her support on the way to her support group (Opus and Bill reference, anyone?  Anyone? Eh?).  However, it has turned into, no, Mrs C needs some CODA herself.  I went codependent triangle on Mr C last week and I didn’t even realize that’s what it was.  R > V > P.  Rescuer > Victim > Persecutor > and round and round we go. 

I decided he needed a new bathing suit (because he does).  So I bought him one (which looked better than his) – so yay, I’m a ā€œrescuer.ā€  Note he never ASKED for a bathing suit nor did he want one ā€˜cause Mr C is cheap.  I have rescued him and saved him from himself by buying it for him.  Yay me!  But Mr C doesn’t want bathing suit.  Bathing suit is waste of money and he doesn’t even like it.  He’ll never wear it.  Why’s he being an asshole about this? Oh look, I’m the ā€œvictimā€ now.  I bought you a gift, you fucker – and it looks better than your old one, why won’t you just LISTEN TO ME? And now I’m the ā€œpersecutor.ā€  This is how we codependents live our lives.  It’s messed up.  How is it a triangle, you ask?  Well I’m pretty sure later I took him a peace offering of food because I felt like we had a big fight (we didn’t) so back to ā€œrescuer,ā€ baby!  Then, if I was still a codependent mess, I’d have gotten mad that he never does such things for me ā€œvictimā€ and be salty about it ā€œpersecutorā€ – it’s called mental illness, yall. 

I’m sorry, Mr C.  I still think you need a new suit FWIW.  However, there was no winning that situation ā€˜cause my crazy was already rearing its head.  There was no way for you to politely decline the bathing suit.  I’m sorry.   That was my bad 100%. I realize where I was wrong and that it’s my fault.

Also, I’m trying to forge new relationships with my family since mom died.  She kept us all connected.  Now I have to keep myself connected, because I’m the one who lives out of town.  So I have to make these connections that weren’t there.  I have to call them.  I have to make small talk.  I have to be involved.  And my family is a bunch of codependent crazies (except for my brother).  Like it’s a freaking field of land mines down there.  It’s a clusterfuck.  So I could use a little psychological support to form healthy relationships with good boundaries.  It’s good timing. 

But what if it’s just my codependency that’s making me want to help her?Ā  I thought/think it’s a God thing.Ā  I had written this friend out of my life.Ā  She’s a taker.Ā  But then Mr C had reason to have her drop by.Ā  All the sudden she’s talking about therapy.Ā  So later I feel like I should reach out via text and tell her about the wonder of support groups and how happy I am for her that she’s seeking help.Ā  Now we’re going to CODA together tonight.Ā  Did God make this happen or did my need to rescue people make this happen?Ā  Is that just my self doubt trying to sabotage a God thing?Ā  HOLY SHIT it’s a whole mind fuck.Ā 

Anyway, so that’s happening.

Some Things 5/11

1) I painted my pool chairs “Key Lime.” It was like living in a Rust-Oleum commercial! Look at this before and after. The chairs were originally bright green when I bought them. However, five summers have faded them to nothing. Note the small green area on the unpainted chair. That’s because they always have pillows in them so the sun didn’t bleach there. It took two coats — so three and a half cans of paint = approximately $20.00. It’s nice to have revived the old ones rather than buy new ones. Even if they are dirt cheap, it’s still nice to have put in a little effort to revive something I already had. They REALLY pop against the dark fence too! K and I will be sitting in them on the tanning ledge soon.

2) I counted ninety three (93!) bats leaving the bat house on Saturday. Ninety Three! My little bat army. Go forth and murder all the mosquitos! Muah ha ha ha…

3) Mr C and I got our second dose of the Covid-19 vaccine Friday! I couldn’t sleep and had a headache. Poor Mr C had a fever and felt like absolute shit. But here’s to having pool days with our fellow vaccinated friends this summer! *cheers*