House - Cursing Cats and Other Curiosities

The Washing Machine Incident Phase II

Posted on June 9, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | 3 Comments

So, you may have forgot, but back in February, we had The Washing Machine Incident. The upstairs washing machine leaked while we were in the shower. It leaked through the ceiling, walls, and light fixtures below. That weekend, we had to have mold remediation cut holes in the drywall and run insanely loud industrial fans for 4 days to dry it all out. It traumatized the cat.

It also ruined the floor right below it. We can’t patch that floor because they no longer make our floor — because of course they don’t. So all the floor that touches that area has to be replaced. Hello open floor plan! That’s our entire downstairs. Entrance, living room, dining room, kitchen and hall all need to be replaced.

Sounds cool. Free floor. But it’s not.

One, dark floors aren’t in style anymore. And we can’t pick just any floor. We still have a staircase and the flooring upstairs that it has to match. So with dark flooring out of style, we were severely low on choices. I PRAY this floor looks okay. We are going from engineered hardwoods to vinyl plank which should be awesome. Vinyl has come a long way in the eight years since we built. It should be better by not showing foot prints (I hate that about our current floor) and not scuff/scratch/dent so easily. The engineered hardwood also hasn’t held up great in high traffic areas. It’s easy to chip off those corners in some areas. So it’s an upgrade even though it’s cheaper. Weird. I hope it doesn’t look too shiny.

We had, like, two options. No really. Two options. We originally had three when we came home from the store. They didn’t follow Builder’s instructions though and showed us floor that couldn’t be glued down. So the flooring lady had to find whatever she should that she thought might match and bring it buy. Two. Just-a-two. One we liked the color better and one we liked the finish better. We went with the color. I HOPE IT’S NOT SHINY. Also, when I say we liked the color, I mean to match our cabinets. It’s weird. The cabinets and floor both pulled very dark red when installed. Now they pull orange where the sun has faded them. It’s better than yellow, but we had to account for that. Sorry, beautiful mahogany swatch.

We wanted our builder who did the house to do everything, so we had to wait until he had time. He’s in high demand and doesn’t have time for shit. We were willing to wait though. So now here we are. A few month’s later, we’re ready to go.

The Moving

The moving happened Wednesday. Being that the whole downstairs floor is being replaced, we had to move out the entire downstairs. Including kitchen appliances. Yep. Even the fucking pantry.

We’ve living upstairs. With a refrigerator and a toaster oven in the garage. Also, I bought a bunch of storage totes for the pantry stuff because we’ve had mice in there before.

That’s fun. They broke my refrigerator too. They didn’t put it back together properly and shoved the drawers in. Broke a piece of plastic that the drawer slides on. It’s not terrible and invisible once everything is in place. However, I have very little hope when it comes to them moving it back in. I’m worried. I’m going to ask builder to make sure he or I are here to watch them move it.

It’s really weird. The downstairs echoes so much that even locking the door is heard throughout the house. And if we want a drink or snack or anything, we have to go to the garage to get it and bring it back upstairs.

Thankfully, we both work upstairs. Husband uses his office for work and play. I have no desire to do that. I need to have separate work and relaxation locations. My relax location is the livingroom. That’s where I live. And they took that away. So…

My Nook

Remember when I moved my old apartment couch into the bedroom to make a “nook” to escape when my in laws were visiting? Well, this is where I hung out during the weekend of the remediation. And it’s where I’m hanging out now. Only this time, it will be for a month. And there’s no kitchen. Anyway.

We moved all the downstairs plants up here so they can still get care. I’m a very “out of sight, out of mind person.” That’s how I killed the gorgeous gigantic peace lily. I put in the guest bedroom, and forgot to water it regularly. (NOTE: When gifting plants to people with pets, look up toxicity, for the love of god). My office has plants but it doesn’t get as much light as our bedroom, so we brought up the card table and put everything in here.

Of course, I brought up my laptop and table. That is what I do. But what about the TV? I usually have my firestick playing videos while I play on my laptop. For a weekend it was fine, but a month? So I also brought in the small guest bedroom TV. Why don’t I just use the guest bedroom? Well, there’s just a bed in there. Not a couch.

I have a pretty damn sweet nook going on. I love all the plants being around me. I have a great view during the day time. If I had a minifridge for drinks and snack I’d be rocking and rolling! The only shelf stable snacks are trash. It’d be nice to have a minifridge for drinks and yogurt and salami and cheese snacks. But not worth the expense for just one month. No use for it after this.

I have a fan too! The bedroom’s ceiling fan is broken. We’ve bought a new one to replace it, but we have not yet done that. So zoom in here to my using a full sized ceiling fan in the box as a table for my small table fan pointed right at my face. I solve problems. Extremely comfy couch too.

It’s gonna be a downgrade for the nook when everything goes back to normal. I don’t do bedrooms with TVs. But I am going to keep some plants in here. I like the plants.

What About Louie?

I already told you that the weekend of fans traumatized the cat. We didn’t think it would be bad because we were both here. We were just upstairs. He mostly hang out on this couch with me. But now he’s so jumpy all the time. He jumps when the AC kicks on now! So this whole thing was not going to be good for Louie. Also, he tries to escape out of any door the second he thinks you might be about to open it. He’s watching. Fucking all the builders and people who have come over have let him out. So he had to go.

What? No, I didn’t get RID of my cat. He’s staying at K’s house. He stayed there over Christmas and did great. So she has graciously agreed to let him stay there during this hot mess. I dropped him off Tuesday before the movers came on Wednesday. Friday, I even went over for a sleepover! Cause my house is weird as fuck now and I miss my cat. Did he snuggle me all night because he missed me? No. He’s Louie, not Jack. But look, he did go to sleep touching both of my feet. That’s significant Louie love right there.

I can’t remember the last time I did a sleepover that wasn’t family. Like, did I even do sleepovers in high school? But K’s guest room has been converted to Louie’s room because she has three dogs. So two baby gates in the doorway allow Louie to jump through but not any dogs. And it has her old purple mattress and I’ve never slept on a purple mattress before. She even has a nightlight and fan cause she knows me. AWESOME.

Though, to be honest, the sleepover made me feel worse. Louie let me have lots of his little five-minute snuggles. Where he wants all the snuggles and fake purrs real loud to ham it up. He can be so so so sweet in short bursts. Yet he was still very alert. I was afraid he couldn’t relax and was too high strung. Even though he doesn’t like the big dogs, he’s still all up and about walking around the house and laying on the floor. Weird cat. Strangely, he fears the big gentle dogs but not the small very active dog. Louie, you need to reprioritize.

In the morning, I grabbed some yogurt to eat in the living room. Louie just wanted to stay in his room and wail at me to return. This made me feel terrible. And having to leaving him again was heart wrenching. I wish I could explain to him that I love him and it’s just temporary and he’s gonna come back home!

I miss him too. I MISS MY FUZZY! I know. As husband and K both say, he’s fine. He’s happy with all the entertainment. I just miss him. I worry. K sent me pictures of him purring in her face today though and that made me feel LOADS better. So he is getting some of those good short pet sessions in. I’ll probably, actually feel really bad when I bring him back to our extremely boring home. I did after Christmas.

Two of her dogs just switched weeks to stay with her mom (joint pet custody). So it will be more calm. I hope he makes friends with their big gentle dog. They could be buddies! They made excellent progress over Christmas. I have hopes.

And Now

And now we wait. Drywall guy should be back tomorrow. I think floor work will begin Wednesday. I worry drywall will hold them up though because one of the seams was done poorly and will need redoing.

Also, the construction dust is EVERYWHERE. We have all of the rooms upstairs shut but the hall and railings are covered in dust. We also have to do that while they’re working because they leave the doors open so we turn the AC downstairs off and raise it really high upstairs and just try to keep it in our offices.

Three more weeks? Maybe? Hopefully not more? RIGHT?

I know that, in a year, I’m going to be happy we got new floors. They will hopefully wear and look better. They should have longer life than our older floor. They shouldn’t show my every foot print. They should be more durable. We won’t have the chips and scratches we have now. It should be good. Just gotta get through this mess.

Spiffing up the deck

Posted on April 27, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

Now that I’ve been gardening, I need to start cleaning up the deck. I mean, that lemongrass has to have somewhere to go!

We built the deck last year. The deck plus a professional paint job was like 8sih K. So, of course I asked how to care for it. I was told to give it a pressure wash every year and I should be solid. So, I need to pressure wash. I want to buy a powerful pressure washer. We have a big house. We have the garage, the pool deck, the wood deck, sidewalk, two stoops. I really want to wash the Juliet balcony and stoop ceiling. I did some research and decided to upgrade my price range to about 3 or 4 hundred, but I just got overwhelmed. So I just asked to borrow K’s pressure washer to get the deck done. I will try to get a good pressure washer during off season.

First, I discovered my deck is like a white car. You don’t realize how dirty it is because it just looks like a different shade of ecru. It was dirty. And I had to clean it like an inch at a time. It was far more tedious than I expected. I didn’t get the good satisfaction either. The red clay is not coming off. So the lighter the deck got, the more noticeable the red clay spots were. Ugh. Also, there’s been a ton of major construction behind us. A whole neighborhood. Right now the house that backs up to us is under construction. This means red clay dust.

I learned about that the first time we opened the pool after construction started. My pool cover is a very heavy thick mesh that lets no light through. But red clay was all over the bottom of the pool. Pool guy explained it was the construction. Well, now I see that that red dust gathered in the piles of leaves that say on the deck for months. So I really should be cleaning it in winter after the leaves fall. Live and learn.

I figured, while I’m out here, I’ll clean the stoop. Oh. My. God. Why is my stoop a whole-ass different color? I knew it was dirty — but jesus! So gross! I was horrified. Now I’m definitely buying a pressure washer! And where I went along the edge of the brick, I accidentally made lines on the concrete. I tried to blend them out and it just looks worse. UGH.

I REALLY want to do the pool deck now. But I want a more powerful washer so I don’t have to do it an inch at a time. Also, I’m not about to out that much wear on a borrowed tool. That’s a lot of concrete to clean.

The steps were not satisfying either. They were just disgusting. The top of the stoop was satisfying. Nice lines I could write in if I wanted. But, see, I thought the top of the stoop was clean. I always have a rug on it. So I thought it was clean. And it was NOT. So now I’m not satisfied or happy I washed stuff — I’m just disturbed. EVERYTHING needs to be power washed now. It’s not OK. But it has to be OK because I’m not buying one right now. I’m about to open the pool and buy a new salt cell to be installed too. And I want an adirondack chair. So it will wait.

Then, I spent half my Saturday dreading putting everything back on the deck. But Husband helped and we got it done. I finally hung the solar lights I was gifted for Chirstmas. Thankfully, I had enough to double over, because these lights were super far apart. So this is actually a doubled over strand. I’m also very happy with the posts I bought to raise them up above the fence. I wish I’d installed them at the top of the board instead of the bottom to get just a little more height, but they’re there now.

Also, I will say: These lights were tangled as fuck. I felt like Russ in Christmas Vacation. They had a garbage tie in the center… and yet, it did nothing. I literally had to walk along the fence and pull each and every bulb from the giant knot. Then when I went to test them, they didn’t come on! So I thought it must have been all the vigorous shaking and tugging of untangling them! So I left them alone and went inside to put pillow cushions on. Then I read the directions for the remote and saw that they won’t come on if there is any light present. They only come on in the dark. This picture was immediately after they finally came on:

Speaking of pillows… I bought pillow covers! My mom has gifted me many outdoor pillows over the years. Walmart always sells them super cheap. They’re $5 right now, actually. And I never had the heart to throw them away. One year was fancy browns with text that I didn’t care for a lot. One year was the flamingo and the watermelon “Sweet Life.” Then the last year was the Blue Flamingos. Those were my favorite but three summers after her death, they were very faded. And the watermelon straight up tore open. I actually considered painting over the flamingos to make them bright again, but I can’t keep every bit of mom.

Then, a thought occurred to me. I don’t need new PILLOWS. I can keep moms pillows. I just need COVERS! So I spent an evening browsing the internet for outdoor pillow covers. I’ve always had the pool in a blue and green theme. Then last year, I replaced the main pool umbrella with an orange one. So I wanted to keep my blue and green but bring in some orange. And here we go!

I got a super cheap 4 pack of the blue and green watercolor. They are actually all 4 different. They’re also not a great material, but they look awesome. Only three needed here. Then I just got a cheap solid orange with white piping. Oh. And the cat. COME ON — I couldn’t not get that dork cat. It’s fucking adorable. I’m sad it’s on yellow because that’s not in my colors, but I had to have that one. I like them so much that I’m getting UV fabric protection spray so hopefully they won’t fade so much.

I’ll also note the difference in everyone’s version of a 16×16 inch pillow case. The orange ones were pretty spot on. The blue and green, the pillow had to be curled over and forced in there. And the Yellow cat was HUGE. I actually stuffed him with pillow fluff to fill it out more. That will be the soft pillow for lounging.

Oh and I ordered bright green spray paint to refresh my faithful 8 year old cheap plastic adirondack chairs for the second time. Problem with those is… I like them on the deck. They’ve been on the deck all winter. In the summer they are across the pool by the tanning ledge. This is so someone (usually husband) can grab them to sit on the tanning ledge and not get wet but have their feet in the water. So I do need them there. However, I’d like to have one on the deck. So I might get a nice(er) one for the deck. Not wood — aint nobody got time to keep up with that. But maybe one of those thicker plastic ones that aren’t all flimsy? I like having somewhere to sit on the deck that isn’t a hammock.

So I spent a lot of time outside today. Mainly waiting on my lights to come on. I refilled the squirrel feeder. As I sat in my hammock chair — desperate squirrels kept coming by to check it. Then the Cardinal couple came. It’s a female and a male and they always come together to watch out for each other. Well, fuck — yall need some black sunflower seeds! So I filled it up and waited on my lights.

The Cardinal couple didn’t come back, but Carlton did! We call the big male cardinal Carl. Now there’s a much smaller male. So I call him Carlton. I left a little pile of black sunflower seeds on the concrete pad in hopes that the couple would come back. Carlton found it!

Excuse how terrible that photo is. It was at FULL zoom. I was trying to move very sneakily so as not to scare him (he didn’t realize I was in the hammock). So I had to slowly sneak the camera over enough to get past the fern.

It’s nice sitting on the deck and watching the wildlife. Carlton is eating seed there, and there’s a squirrel sitting on the feeder having dinner too.

Listen to the SMEs.

Posted on April 25, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

So THIS is why people just save lemongrass stalks from year to year and no one grows from seed.

I cut those stalks clean not 48 hours ago. This is only the second time I’ve watered them. I cut all the leaves off so they’d focus on root growth. All 8 stalks have new shoots like a centimeter long! Even the one that had like no roots and just a bulb nub.

Y’all, my seedlings have been under 2 inches for like a month. I’ve got them out there with a grow light and a fan on a timer. Gave them miracle grow under watered for three days now. NO DIFFERENCE.

The experts know what they’re doing. Wish I’d done more research months ago and learned how they propagate them before I jumped in with seeds. These stalks were way more expensive than seed, but far cheaper than a lemongrass plant. From now on, we doing this every year.

No pumpkin sprouts yet.

Gardening and Back Aches

Posted on April 22, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments

The Squirrel Dilemma

So where were we? Ah yes, I was complaining about the frogs that tried to kill me when I watered my overwintered plants outside for the first time. Yes. I now have three sun ferns and some mandevillas out back plus the same porch plants from last year.

Problem is… squirrels. I love squirrels, don’t get me wrong. But they start digging up all my plants. Every single pot. Look at this motherfucker on my Ring camera:

I couldn’t figure it out. I thought they might be burying the peanuts I feed them. I dug around in the pots and found no nuts. I went to the internet. Apparently, they dig around for stuff that might have been buried last Fall? What the fuck? I just potted these. There’s nothing there, dumbass. Why haven’t I ever seen them dig elsewhere? I hate to jinx myself, but they don’t dig up my flower beds. I don’t see little holes all around my yard.

They weren’t just looking once either. They were digging them up multiple times a day. One day, my Mandevillas had their damn roots exposed! So something had to be done. For what I had out already, I just used the bastard pool rocks. I just put rocks all around the plant in the pot. I’m not sure about this for the ferns though, because they will want to expand. Maybe I can remove them later. We’ll see about those. For the others, it’s a great solution. They haven’t bothered them since.

But what about my lemongrass and pumpkins? Those will be seedlings. I can put rocks around those. So I decided on critter mesh to keep… well… critters away. So I proposed an errand day to my friends. We went to Cat Bird Seat and Lowe’s.

I needed to replace a dying succulent in my table center piece. I needed dirt for my pumpkins and lemongrass. And, of course, critter netting. So I set out with K, K2, and K’s SO.

Don’t shop for plants with friends (AKA “Enablers”)

We went to Cat Bird Seat first. Just a local plant place. They’re super close and also on the way to the big box stores. K2 proposed that they would have a better succulent collection. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a nice colorful one like the one I was replacing. They did, however, have a large selection. I narrowed it down to two little guys. One I chose for the color pop of pink edges. The other for the quirkiness. I presented my two options to my friends to ask which I should go for. They insisted I get both. I told them I only had room for one. They suggested I get another tiny pot and go for “levels.”

Goddammit they were right. I got them both plus a super tiny pot from Lowe’s. A few weeks ago I already added river rocks to this centerpiece because the bottom of the terrarium was showing rust. Now it’s like major upgrade. I already had the main pot on the riser. I just slid it to the side a bit for the little guy. LOOK AT THE LEVELS. It’s so dynamic. And the rocks look great.

PUMPKINS!

So then we headed to Lowe’s. Why Lowe’s? Because Lowe’s and Home Depot are very close together and K was in the left lane which went towards Lowe’s. Highly complex decision making, clearly. It worked out great though. They had a sweet deal on dirt! One cubic foot of fertilized top soil for $2. That’s a steal! I got regular top soil that wasn’t fertilized for $2.99 and thought THAT was a good deal. I need a lot for my 5 pumpkin pots.

Well, they’re aren’t pots, per se. They’re actually nursery bags inside nursery fabric pots. The bags, which won’t break down, are ugly and just for growing, not showing. The fabric pots are nicer, but they are biodegradable. So I combined the two so I can reuse them. Fabric pot on the outside, lined with a bag on the inside. Yes, the bottom of the fabric pot will still be wet, but I hope to get a few seasons out of them. Also, the fabric pots would drain from all areas. With the bag, only the drainage holes will drain.

Anyway, I needed to get these pumpkins out ASAP. I knew they needed to go out in May. After the clusterfuck of lemongrass seeds that wouldn’t sprout, I need to get them out on time. That way if I have bad seeds, I can buy new seeds and still get pumpkins. So I spent the weekend filling my pots. I did NOT buy enough dirt. I figured one bag would be plenty per pot. I was wrong. Each pot took two bags. So yeah, I had to go BACK to Lowe’s on Sunday for even more dirt. (Also, I did look up how big a pot I would need for a pumpkin. 20 gallons. That’s why I couldn’t afford to buy actual pots.)

Now these pots are heavy. Thank god for my garden wagon! I managed to get them all out. I used broken umbrella pieces (not a hoarder) and tennis balls to hold up the critter netting. I used it doubled over and tucked it under the pots on the front and sides. Then I used 3 packs of binder clips to secure the back so I can have access as needed.

Once the vines grow long enough, I will lay out a sunshade over the rocks to keep the weeds out and allow the vines to stay neatly on top. I chose a sunshade because mesh tarps are crazy expensive. I don’t need anything strong, I need something that blocks light but is water permeable. So sunshade! I’ll buy some more critter netting to go over the vines too. Not sure how I’ll hold the netting up as I’m out of umbrella parts.

So may I introduce you to the very first day of my very first pumpkin patch!

But wait, there’s more.

I was researching caring for pumpkins so I can nail this. And everyone kept mentioning planting in July. Why July? I need 120 days to mature on the big ones and 90 on the small — that’s 4 months! Oh… fuck me. October is the TENTH month. So I need to plant them… in the SIXTH month… which is June.

Fuck me.

So if these grow, I’m going to get my small pumpkins in 90 days which is… early August. Yeah… that’s not gonna last till Halloween.

Fuck me.

So I guess this is a tester batch to see if these seeds sprout. Yeah. That’s it. I’ll pluck them when they do and replant at the correct date. Ignore the stupid person.

The Lemongrass Experiment

On to the lemongrass. Well, I fear I planted this one too late. The seedlings are so very tiny. I needed to get the domes off so I moved them to the garage. I’m going to stop top watering and switch to bottom watering with a bit of miracle grow. I also set up a fan to start hardening them up. It will run on its lowest setting for 4 hours on, 4 hours off, rinse and repeat.

Also, I’ve done so much lemongrass research. The reason I had difficulty finding seeds was that no one grows from seed. They grow from last years harvest. At the end of the season, you dig up the stalk and peel away all the leaves. Wash it really good so that there’s no dirt and a little bit of roots. Put all your stalks in a vase with cold water that you change out every week. Then next year, plop the stalk in the ground and your plant comes back. Obviously, I will do this from here on out if my lemongrass is successful.

To give my tiny baby lemongrass a boost, I did buy 8 stalks of wintered lemongrass. I got those planted up today in smaller, more colorful fabric pots. When my seedlings are ready to go, I can put those in there too. Since I want a lot of grass blades, I can plant a lot close together. Each plant will only put out between 10 and 20 blades. I’m growing them for the oils and scent, not for cooking. So I’m not trying to get thick juicy stalks.

They are currently in the garage because I need more critter mesh to cover them before they go outside. Hopefully, I will get them out tomorrow as I do not have another grow light. I should have had enough critter mesh, but I doubled up over the pumpkin patch. So tomorrow, I can add critter mesh and get those out in the sun.

I’ll continue rotating my seedings and hardening them up in the garage until they’re a bit more ready to go outside.

Lord, I Forgot About the Frogs in the Watering Can!

Posted on April 15, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

This weekend , I repotted and generally took care of my over-wintered plants. Two Red Banana Trees, eight White Rio Mandevillas, and a giant sun fern. They lived in my master bedroom all winter with a sunlamp. I’ve been wanting to get them out because the Mandevillas are starting to smell very sweet. They’re waking up. So this weekend everyone went outside in big pots with fresh dirt.

So today, Monday, I go water them on my lunch break. Another advantage to working from home! So I grab my water can from the front porch (oh sorry, STANLEY’S STOOP). I water the plants there and go inside to get more water from the kitchen on my way to the back deck. I set my watering can in the sink and start filling.

FROG.

Now, y’all, my house gets a lot of frogs. My pool has the bubblers that sound like a running river. We live next to apartments with little retention ponds with fountains. We got frogs. These guys:

In the summer they cling to our windows to catch bugs attracted to the lights. During the day they sleep in my pool umbrellas and hide under the pillows. (Always check the pillows and umbrellas before sitting and opening because you will be attacked otherwise.)

So. These things scare me. I can’t explain it because I know they absolutely will not hurt me. But my god they are so quick and jumpy and they will JUMP ON YOUR FACE. Yes, it HAS HAPPENED TO ME. So, if I’m looking for them, I’m cool. Like I might have a jump scare if one moves when I find it, but it’s fine. If I’m not expecting to see one, my god, I will scream. Not like a long scream but an extremely loud full on scream.

Like when husband comes to bed with out loudly stating his presence when I’m “sleeping”. That kinda scream. Like the instinct of “I’m about to die” with the quick realization of “I’m ok”.

And in the summer, these motherfuckers love my umbrellas and my watering cans. Big two gallons of shade. Fuck yeah. Personal frog grotto, bitches. I get it. But I forgot. And you can’t see them in there because there’s only a small filling hole. Like this. Great watering can. Totally recommend.

So when I turn on the water, Big Bertha comes up to the fill hole. I scream. Husband is in work meeting. He usually handles the frogs. It’s ok, it’s in the can still… I get solo cup. I got this.

I get solo cup and quickly pounce over the hole while the waters still running. Got you, bitch! Then I scream bloody murder because there was a baby Bertha in there too and now it’s on my window sill!

So I get the solo cup covered can outside and set it down. Will worry about Big Bertha later. Gotta catch baby. There was much screaming. I get baby Bertha in the cup and run outside to release it. It jumps out of the cup and I scream. Cause that’s what I do. And THEN I have to call out “IM FINE! JUST A FROG!” Cause all the neighbors can here me.

Oy. I forgot about those fuckers in my watering cans. Last year Louie had a field day when I brought the watering can inside so frogs wouldn’t get in it… Not knowing there was a frog in it.

Anyway, I watered the plants with the solo cup over the hole so. Big Bertha wouldn’t attack me and then dumped her out. Now the can is INSIDE.

Why don’t these things come with a lid or a plug? I usually just have to water my deck plants with one hanging out on the can like this the whole time:

Yeah, that motherfucker sat there while I watered every single plant.

Life Hack

Also, I know I’m 41 and the daughter of a gardener extraordinair. I’m also lazy as fuck. So I’ve never over wintered my plants before. Holy shit, FREE PLANTS! I’ve got, like, $200+ worth of plants out there!

The Red Banana Trees with Mandevillas are back on the front porch. They thrived last year. This year, I removed one of the 4 Mandevillas from each pot. I also put them in much bigger pots and made a taller trellis on the side against the columns for the vines to grow up. Last year it was a hot mess and I kept wadding them up in a tomatoe-cage-like structure around the Banana Tree and they were barely contained and the Banana Tree suffered from lack of light.

The small sun fern I bought last year is HUMONGOUS. I knew I’d have to divide it, but I ended up dividing it into three! Three sun ferns the same size as this one was when I bought it.

Also, have you ever devided a fern? For fucks sake, I did not expect that difficulty. I tried to just dive in with a trowel. Nope. So I grabbed my machete. Nope. So I used the saw blade side of the machete. Nope. I ended up sawing the rootball easily enough, but damn, getting through the matted top layer was like WTF? I’ve trimmed hedges easier than that.

They’re fine. Still plenty of roots and green stems for each third. And little bulb things… Are those fern bulbs? Do ferns make bulbs?

I also have the two Mandevillas I thinned out in another pot. I’m going to let them grow over the back stair railing. See: FREE PLANTS.

If my lemongrass works out, I probably won’t buy anymore plants this year.

Overwintering sucks though. I have a cat. Plants a big and heavy. The garage is freezing. So this winter, I have a plan! I’m going to buy a popup green house (basically a popup tent) and put it where my gardening table is. Plenty of room. Stick some grow lights in there and buy a little greenhouse heater. Should only cost $200 all together and it already saved me that much this year!

Probably gonna start a compost heap for dirt too. I got an acre so I can put it way back in the corner of the property.

I watched a lemongrass tutorial and I think I found why the seeds are so hard to get. No one grows it from seed. They pull up the main stalk with barely any roots, trim it down to a few inches, strip off the outer layers, wash off the dirt, and stick them in cold water to over winter. Change the water out once a week and come spring, stick ’em back in the ground. So I’ll be doing that this year if I’m successful.

They also taught me how to weave little grass bundles for cooking and tea. So if anyone wants those, I should have a ton come fall!

Seed Nerds AKA seednerds.com is a SCAM: A Review

Posted on April 12, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | 5 Comments

Putting this out there for all the fellow gardeners. seednerds.com is a scam. They present as a legit company based in California. They fooled me. I made purchase and was notified that I had made an international transaction on my credit card. This is the only indication I had that they were not CONUS.

I called the number to cancel my order. Fake number. I googled the address. Real address — I did street view — it’s a shipping warehouse.

Yeah, that is not an image of a “50-acre farm […which also…] partner[s] with local beekeepers to set up honeybee hives and with free-range chicken farmers to provide help with pest control and composting.”

I sent three emails to cancel the order. They just stonewall and ask for more information. After a few weeks, I get a shipping notice. So I wait for my seeds so I can return them. After all, they have a return policy:

I just need to email them and they’ll send me a shipping label. False. One, they informed me they moved their warehouse to china so I will have to pay to return them. OK, bitches, give me the address. Now I’ve sent six emails with continuous stalls and asking for more information and pictures. Pictures like this of seed packs with NO LABELS EVEN:

When I googled them back in early march, I didn’t find a lot of negative information. Now there is tons:

Seednerds.com review (scam site)
byu/pxlchk1 ingardening

https://www.facebook.com/seednerds/reviews

https://www.trustpilot.com/review/seednerds.com

So throw this hat in the ring. Seed Nerds or Seednerds.com with this contact information:

Business Address: 11010 Juniper Ave, Fontana, CA 92337, USA

E-Mail: info@seednerds.com

Phone: (716) 217-9642

Please call us from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, Monday through Friday, Pacific Standard Time

IS A SCAM. FRAUD. FAKE. CHINESE ASSHOLES.

***********Update on my Lemongrass************

So out of the THREE packs of seeds I’ve ordered from people — ONE is doing well. The plants came up quickly but do not seem to be growing much — unlike the first set of fake lemon grass that shot up like… well, regular old grass. The third contender hasn’t sprouted a single plant. And obviously, I can’t even plant this chinese shit.

I fear I will not have nearly as many plants as I had hoped.

A St Patty’s Day Miracle!

Posted on March 17, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

So I found myself looking for four-leaf clovers today. I needed to wait outside, and I like to find them. Plus, Saint Patrick’s Day! I did well. Once I found five, I was like well, fuck, I gotta make it seven for the holiday. So I scoured. Number seven was elusive. I had left number one on the steps and was sure it would have blown away before I got the seventh.

I was in my PJs in the front yard on a main road. So I wasn’t comfortable leaving my yard to be the crazy lady on the side of a four-lane main road in her pajamas looking creepily at the ground. I mean, my own yard is enough already. I’m still the insanely weird lady — but like, on a leash. “She’s keeping to her own yard” – ya know? Even though there are MASSIVE patches of huge clovers over there. So like, my hunting area was limited.

I was thinking to myself how I can only do this because I’m really good at patterns. I think others could if they cared to. It’s like those picture puzzles online with a ton of 8’s or something and you have to find the 9. People love those, but they don’t apply it to real life. Don’t look at the clover patch as plants. They’re all equilateral triangles. They’re all perfect 120 angles between the leaves. Just a bunch of triangles. Now find the square. It’s quite simple. I’ve spotted them from the second story of a building before, no lie. Find the 90 degree angles. With practice, they stand out as abominations.

I’m quite good with patterns. I’ve always been focused on pinning the repeats in wall paper, fabrics, carpets. How small is the repeat. It’s quite elegant how some of them work the repeats. Very interesting to break it down to the square they are repeating. You have to break images across the square to hide it well. I’ve never created my own patterns, so there’s still a bit of mystery in how they do it. Anyway, it interests me. And after a few decades of practice, you get very good. Hence my magic power of four-leaf clover spotting.

I was about to give up with my six clovers. I was thinking how I could never find any of the more elusive clovers. The fives, the sixes, the seven leaves — they wouldn’t be as obvious in the way I find them. No squares, no 90 degree angles. And then…

There she was. My seventh. With five leaves.

Amazing. In my 41 years I’ve never found one above four. Ever. And I look. This one met my pattern — it looks like a four leaf from the top — but there’s a little baby runt leaf sticking straight out of the top. I had husband come look immediately. How special! I took a video to capture it. These are actually stills from the video.

You know, it was a bit sentimental. I haven’t done a lot since mom died. I mean, I’ve done a TON – but there are things I didn’t care to do. I used to decorate for EVERY holiday — I haven’t decorated for Easter in 4 years. Back in 2020, I actually bought a very cute leather journal to keep my four leaf clovers in. I put Jack’s foot print in it. I kept my clovers in it. There’s butterfly wings. There’s even one clover that mom found after searching with me. I made her sign it. I didn’t stop right after her death. There are clovers from 2021. But nothing from 2022 or 2023. Well, I had found a few and stuck them in my little tiny notepad to dry, but I hadn’t bothered to mark the dates or put them in the leather bound journal. It wasn’t fun anymore. My happy book wasn’t happy anymore.

This year I went out and found four a week or two ago. That’s when I noticed the lack of two years in my leather book. I put the clovers I had pressed in, but obviously I could not date them. I think what caused the resurgence was Louie’s one year adopt-aversary coming up. It’s time to add his foot print. It made me think of the leather bound journal. It inspired me to go find some clovers. And today I had thought about it but wasn’t going to. But then K needed to pick up something she’d loaned me. So I was out in the yard waiting as to give it back quickly. No need for them to have to come in and get it — they did loan it to me back in October and I hadn’t returned it yet. So I decided — why not — I’ll look while I’m waiting. Then I got to the must-find-seven.

And I did. But there’s more than JUST the five leaf. I needed a new book to press them. I’ve been using a tiny 3-inch composition notebook I got for free at some convention or training or something. The pages are too marked with dates and wrinkly now. They did a horrible job of pressing the four I found earlier this month. So I thought of a journal. I’ve had it for almost 4 years. I’ve kept it as it was sentimental, but never had a use for it. I knew it was a gift from my aunt-in-law. But I’d forgotten the circumstances. Just that it was thoughtful of her to buy it for me because it’s Star Trek and she knows I like Star Trek. Well, it’s hard backed and I needed a journal to press clovers so I grabbed it.

The card she included was tucked inside. Ahhh. It was a gift from when mom died. She had been thinking about me and saw this journal and thought I could use it. That’s why I’d kept it. It was so sweet and thoughtful of her to buy it and mail it. She wanted me to know I was in her thoughts. The time wasn’t right to use it when I got it. But now the time is right. I think of moms clover when I hunt now. She was so proud to find one. And today I was so proud to find my first five-leaf.

There’s a warmth there. A time to move on a little bit more. Kinda like a sign, if you believe in those things as I do. Louie has been helping to heal my heart of my loss of Jack. And now he’s brought back my clovers and a sweet memory of my mom. And the cherry on the cake is the journal given to me to try to ease my grief a bit making a simultaneous appearance.

Maybe it’s God. Maybe it’s mom being impressed with my overwintering of last summers plants, rescuing plants I normally would have let die to nurse them back to health, and now seeding my own plants for this summer.

I’m stepping into my destiny. Not some awesome destiny where I get a sword and a birth right. Just a tedious one where I stop letting plants die every year only to replace them. One where I nurture the sick plants back to health. One that has me out in my yard in my PJs looking for plants. Maybe one were I grow my own Halloween pumpkins.

I’d kinda rather have a sword.

Stanley’s Stoop

Posted on March 16, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

This popped up in my Facebook memories today. Eight years ago when the house was being built. You bet your ass I was on site every day.

Obviously, the “stoop” is even grander now with wrought iron railings and giant white columns in front of an 8 foot double mahogany door of glass and ironwork. Fucking Stanley. He was our appraiser. So he determined the value of our build, which in turn, determined our mortgage. We took a massive loss for not having a “porch.” We just got the checkbox for “stoop.” — hence my anger. Hence my still remembering Stanley, and it being forever STANLEY’S STOOP when I get angry. Fucking stoop my ass. Must be the best goddamn stoop in existence, STANLEY.

That check box would have been the same if it was just three concrete steps in front of a god damn trailer.

Testing. Testing. 123 + Pictures

Posted on March 7, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I’m testing posting from my phone. I have pictures. LOOK AT MY SEED BABIES!

Hmm. I guess the only problem is that I usually drastically cut down the size of my photos before I upload them. I wonder if I can do that easily. I hate the huge file size.

One more photo. It’s a bat in the bat house! It was screaming at me when I checked the mail. I’m worried about but though. Last time one was visible like this, it died. But that was mid summer. I checked around the bathouse to make sure a baby hadn’t fallen out, but didn’t see anything.

I mean, fuck knows what I would do if I DID find a baby. I’d figure it out though. We’d get that baby back up there.

I guess I’ll go research shrinking photos. Looks like Google photos doesn’t have that option.

Weekend in Review

Posted on March 3, 2024 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

This weekend, I made Lumalee!

The mouth is pretty jacked up, so ill probably work on that. Also, I feel like the green should have started sooner. Did I do an extra blue row or something? And how did I jack up one leg so badly? I did not notice that at all while I was making it. There are parts of it I am unhappy with, but I think it’s cute. I enjoyed making it. It was very much trust the process because it look JACKED-THE-FUCK-UP until I stuffed it. I should have taken a picture.

I really liked how the designer did the top to split it off into two points — very clever IMO. There are changes I would make if I did it again, but I won’t be doing it again. Super glad I bought an extra skein of blue because I sure did need it. I want to do a red mushroom, but I think responsibly, I should do Mario first so I know I have enough red for him first.

The Christmas blanket saga continues. But I’m honestly thinking of putting it aside. It’s not a project I am enjoying at all. I hate the yarn. I have more amigurumis I want to do — but I also really want to do a sampler blanket in greys. I could pick a yarn I actually LIKE. And each rectangle will be a different stitch. I think I’ll pick like three shades of greys — like this kit on Amazon that I am not going to buy:

1) I’ve had to buy compression gloves because working the Christmas blanket has hurt my hand.

2) I’m not enjoying it. It’s a chore, not a fun hobby.

3) The sampler blanket would let me pick a yarn I enjoy working with and that isn’t so damn hard to work with!

4) I’d get to learn a lot of new stitches. And it would keep changing up and not being a slog because once I finish one rectangle, the next would be totally different.

So yeah, thinking of putting the Christmas blanket aside for more enjoyable projects.

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Also this weekend, I washed the cars! I meant to wash mine inside and out, but I only got the outside done. But I also did Husband’s car. And I put it off for so long that I was still washing at dusk and got to see BATS IN THE BATHOUSE!

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I bought some of these camisoles at Duluth Trading. I’ve been living in them since. I would live in camisoles if I could. I get hot so easy. And if I’m cold, I can throw something on over it. But I can’t live in camisoles because I don’t like not wearing bras around people. I’m sorry, I’m an older generation and I don’t like my nipples showing. My boobs are awesome and do not need support — but I still have pointy nipples. Also, my mom was always braless at home growing up and it embarrassed me. Sorry mom. I wouldn’t have worn bras 24/7 either for my kids. Fuck that.

Anyway — these camisoles have the worthless “shelf bra” built in. BUT BUT BUT — with PADDED CUPS.

Holy fuck, it’s like I unlocked a new life reward. The camisole stays in place — no nip slips. and also NO POINTY NIPPLES.

Yall, they were on sale and I bought one of every color. And when the season changes, I’m gonna see if they have more colors and buy them too. You think I’m kidding? Husband is reading this thinking I spend too much money — honey, have you noticed me wearing that purple one, then the grey one, and now this teal one? Have you seen me wear anything else for like over a week? Do I have too many camisoles? Fuck yes. Burn all the others if you want to use that line of thinking. These are all I want now.

I can go out to the mailbox. My sister slept over and I didn’t have to put on a bra. I can answer the door if needed. No bras or robes required. I can live in my camisole now. It’s fucking amazing. BUY THIS SHIT (Clicky). 10 out of 10, 5 stars all the way.

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EDIT: FUCK, How could I forget? I started my first ever seed babies!

It’s all lemongrass. Lemongrass is crazy expensive, I learned last year. SO I’m just seeding a fuckton of it. It keeps mosquitoes away. I’m also gonna try to grow pumpkins this year!

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Crochet pattern by AzeliaCrochet.