Games, Games, Games!

Since my brother-in-law visited, we’ve been playing so much Terraforming Mars. All the Terraforming Mars. Which is great in a lot of ways. Firstly, tonight I came in second to Mr C. I’ve been getting my ass kicked pretty hard, but I had a solid showing tonight. Second, we’ve dropped a lot of on this game. Between the actual game and every single expansion including the new “big box,” I’m easily into this game for $250. With optionals like board trays and new game markers, might be closer to $300 or $350. No regrets.

You know we collect board games? Well, if you didn’t know, we collect board games. We love having friends over for games. I designed our house and we specifically made room for a large dining table with loads of room around it for moving around. In our old apartment, everyone was trapped. God forbid someone have to get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom. Here, you have all the room you could want. We can even set up extra card tables for shit like Eclipse. Eclipse is too much for me.

Terraforming Mars, however, is an excellent game. It’s won awards for best game. Check it out on Board Game Geek (clicky). It has lots of awards in languages I don’t even understand. That’s because it’s a hell of a solid game. It takes a few hours (which go by so much faster with experienced players like M & A tonight). It looks crazy confusing and a lot of work, but it’s not really once you learn it. I also like games where there are loads of ways to earn points so you’re not sure, until the end of the game and all points are tallied, who actually won the game. Tonight we were all sure A had it in the bag, but nope! Mr C won and I came in second. It was a big twist ending when everything was added up.

I’m also loving the Big Box expansion. It was $99 and Mr C thought it was worthless, but we’ve been glad to have it. I actually love the 3D tiles. They’re so much more fun than the cardboard chips. Also, the organization is top notch! Getting the game out and putting it away is so much quicker. Card holders with tabbed organization, cube holders, money boxes (even one for each side of the board!) – all the organization. Also means all of the expansions are in one box. A huge box, granted, but better than 5 or 6 smaller boxes with 20 million little zip lock bags.

Man we’ve been playing so much of it though! I’ve been getting burned out on it, actually. However now that we’re back to just once a week, I think we’re good. I had a work friend over last night to play and that was fun but man, playing with new people is so slow. Tonight was better. It went fast — though I was super hot for some reason — am I hitting menopause!? Nextweek is K & A. That should be fun too.

On a random, lighter note: I haven’t given up on getting every god damned villager’s photo in Animal Crossing. I will get them all. Mint is the last hold out. But the light note: Getting all the villagers to curse is, like, the best part of the game. They all say “bitches” – Roald calls me “assbutt” and a few call me “motherf*cker” (yeah, working around their preset blocked words is hard). Gawd it’s funny though. I’m easily amused by such things.

Rhaegal: the Dragon of Majesty and Scams

I got a good one for you today, folks. I got SCAMMED. I got scammed hard and hilariously. Meet Rhaegal:

I ordered Rhaegal from the scam website freshyness.com (*Clicky* but NOTE IT’S A SCAM SITE). He was to be K’s house warming present. A regal dragon to stand in front of her new house and be decorated for various holidays. An epic creature of grace and fun.

Instead I received Rhaegal: the Inflatable Dragon of Majesty and Scams.

I saw that Rhaegal was being delivered today on USPS’s delivery dashboard. I was so excited that I showed him off to people at work. I was going to hide him in the storage closet and have K fetch a pool float from the closet when she comes over Sunday. I was so excited! Then I got home and had this awesome pool float in my mailbox. I thought someone sent me a fucking sweet pool float as an anonymous surprise! It’s not unheard of, I send my friends little gifts and sometimes they send me little gifts. And I mean, look at it — that has me written all over it. But when I contacted everyone who might have sent it, they all denied it. That’s when it slowly began to dawn on me… this is Rheagal…

Jokes on those bitches because I love it! I would totally have bought this for the pool at a reasonable price.

Thank god for credit cards. I already contested the purchase and will have my money back in 15 days or less. FREE POOL DRAGON, bitches!

To be clear though, the website freshyness.com is a complete scam. It’s a chinese company that sells expensive awesome shit and sends you cheap, but still kinda awesome shit. Don’t buy anything from them. And always use a condom. I mean Visa card.

Review: AMMSUN 17″ Beach Umbrella Table Tray: A drink table IN. THE. POOL.

Look at how perfect this is! I have an umbrella anchored in the middle of my pool and now it has a table on it! No bugs crawling on our drinks. No moving the drinks and tables to keep them in the shade — they’re always in the shade now! And it’s huge! It even holds my 32oz insulated thermos!

Five out of five stars. I am thrilled with this product! It even came with a completely unnecessary but high quality carrying bag. Let me tell you, this is PERFECT for the pool. I might buy more for my other pool umbrellas. It’s perfect for having coffee on the tanning ledge. It’s perfect for parking your cold water or wine while you drift on a float. Throw some extra sunscreen on there so you don’t burn. You never have to get out of the pool now! It’s perfect.

I’m even going to amp it up to 11. I got out my dremel to add drainage slots to the snack trays and am spray painting it lime green to match my pool furniture.

I’m so happy with this purchase (Amazon link — clicky clicky)! I was afraid it wouldn’t hold my favorite beverage containers, but everything fits great! It’s wonderful. Did I mention perfect for the pool? All the stars.

Some Things 5/19

1) Someone called themselves an “art nerd” for knowing Banksy’s “Girl With Red Balloon.”  God, I hate people who think they know everything about art because they took one art course or know an almost commercial artist.  Fucking most people know who Banksy is.  HE OPENED A SHOP ON HIGH STREET (it wasn’t a real shop, it was another art piece).  You can buy his merch.  He’s not some obscure urban artist.  He’s in the (BBC) news all the time.  Even if he was obscure, fuck you for acting like a gate keeper. 

2) Yes, I have anger issues.  Especially since mom died, I kinda just want beat the shit out of someone.  Like, someone who deserves it, not a random person.  Can someone try to steal my purse so I can just beat the living day lights out of them and get this frustration and anger out?  Is that weird?  Pull a gun on me, I DARE YOU.  I will John Wick your ass with a pencil.  A FUCKING PENCIL. 

3) I ordered a Dammit Doll.  I also ordered three more Dammit Dolls for my besties (I don’t think M & D read my blog, they be lazy).  Cause sometimes you need to beat the shit out of something.  So we can just beat these on our work desks like Bob Ross beats his paint brush.   

Codependents Anonymous

I’m going to attended a virtual (zoom) CODA meeting tonight.  That’s Codependents Anonymous.  So this started as me wanting to help a friend attend CODA.  You know, I’d be her support on the way to her support group (Opus and Bill reference, anyone?  Anyone? Eh?).  However, it has turned into, no, Mrs C needs some CODA herself.  I went codependent triangle on Mr C last week and I didn’t even realize that’s what it was.  R > V > P.  Rescuer > Victim > Persecutor > and round and round we go. 

I decided he needed a new bathing suit (because he does).  So I bought him one (which looked better than his) – so yay, I’m a “rescuer.”  Note he never ASKED for a bathing suit nor did he want one ‘cause Mr C is cheap.  I have rescued him and saved him from himself by buying it for him.  Yay me!  But Mr C doesn’t want bathing suit.  Bathing suit is waste of money and he doesn’t even like it.  He’ll never wear it.  Why’s he being an asshole about this? Oh look, I’m the “victim” now.  I bought you a gift, you fucker – and it looks better than your old one, why won’t you just LISTEN TO ME? And now I’m the “persecutor.”  This is how we codependents live our lives.  It’s messed up.  How is it a triangle, you ask?  Well I’m pretty sure later I took him a peace offering of food because I felt like we had a big fight (we didn’t) so back to “rescuer,” baby!  Then, if I was still a codependent mess, I’d have gotten mad that he never does such things for me “victim” and be salty about it “persecutor” – it’s called mental illness, yall. 

I’m sorry, Mr C.  I still think you need a new suit FWIW.  However, there was no winning that situation ‘cause my crazy was already rearing its head.  There was no way for you to politely decline the bathing suit.  I’m sorry.   That was my bad 100%. I realize where I was wrong and that it’s my fault.

Also, I’m trying to forge new relationships with my family since mom died.  She kept us all connected.  Now I have to keep myself connected, because I’m the one who lives out of town.  So I have to make these connections that weren’t there.  I have to call them.  I have to make small talk.  I have to be involved.  And my family is a bunch of codependent crazies (except for my brother).  Like it’s a freaking field of land mines down there.  It’s a clusterfuck.  So I could use a little psychological support to form healthy relationships with good boundaries.  It’s good timing. 

But what if it’s just my codependency that’s making me want to help her?  I thought/think it’s a God thing.  I had written this friend out of my life.  She’s a taker.  But then Mr C had reason to have her drop by.  All the sudden she’s talking about therapy.  So later I feel like I should reach out via text and tell her about the wonder of support groups and how happy I am for her that she’s seeking help.  Now we’re going to CODA together tonight.  Did God make this happen or did my need to rescue people make this happen?  Is that just my self doubt trying to sabotage a God thing?  HOLY SHIT it’s a whole mind fuck. 

Anyway, so that’s happening.

A Cat and His Harness.

As you know, my precious cat has kidney disease. I’m losing my beloved little familiar. So now he has a special diet, lots of medicine, and regular vet checkups. However my amazing cat does not like his expensive fancy cat carrier. He never has. He pretty much just screams the whole time he’s in there. If you recall: my cat talks, screams, and wails a lot. It’s his thing. He was named Screamer before I adopted him. Hes got a good set of pipes on him. He has songs he needs to express. The vet is 20 minutes away. Add in the vet time and 20 minutes for the return and both of us are at the end of our perspective ropes. It’s such a stressful experience for both of us! So I decided to try something new.

I decided to go sans carrier. I decided to get him a harness and leash. Sure, I took the carrier with my just in case, but I figured maybe it could at least ease the stress on me.

I did not expect him to take this well. However, since he’s getting older and on all that pain medicine, he’s more chill than ever. So a few hours before the vet, I harnessed the cat. He had to hold his front legs further apart, but he didn’t really act too bothered by it. In fact, he was kinda adorable in it. So adorable that I added a bow tie and took a picture. Oh don’t worry, I didn’t make him wear the bow tie to the vet.

I dare say it went well. It turned the whole thing into more of an adventure than a torture session. He was freakishly alert while driving in the car. He insisted on sitting in my lap and observing everything through the window. He didn’t whine a bit. It was just pure curiosity. It was actually kinda fun driving with my cat. And it didn’t stress him out at all! Score!

Then we got to the vet. Since covid, you can’t wait inside with your pet. You wait in your car and they call you when they’re ready and tell you what room to take your pet to. So there was no passing other animals to worry about. I just carried him in straight to room 3. It was great. The only downside, I think, was for him. He didn’t have a hole to crawl into after the mean lady took his blood. He had to settle for sitting under the bench I was sitting on. Then he eventually progressed to my lap where he proceeded to hide his face in my arm when the mean lady returned. So he didn’t have that protective factor while in the office.

Checking out was simple enough. I just held onto his leash while he sniffed the floor. Then I carried him out to the car. He was much less thrilled on our way home. He was much more subdued and a little pissy about it. BUT — there was no wailing. He just sat in the passenger seat and stewed over what a horrible person I am. He could have sat in his carrier which was in the floor board, but he chose the passenger seat. So success again!

He’s a harness cat now. I will still continue to take his carrier along as a backup, but this leash thing is solid. I was so much less stressed out by the whole ordeal. I think it went great. I’d love to take him out on the leash, but I don’t want him to start begging to go outside all the time. But yeah. I recommend using a leash instead of a cat carrier. It’s great.

Froggies.

Our house attracts a lot of frogs. We live in a swamp that has been heavily developed. A lot of my idiot neighbors like to forget it’s a swamp and bitch about the natural inhabitants on Nextdoor. However, the fact remains that we live in a swamp. We also live next to some apartments with a nice pond with fountains next door. And lets not forget my own pool with a pair of lovely babbling (I love the sound) bubblers.

I even enjoy having frogs on the windows at night. They park it on the windows and eat the bugs that fly up towards the light. My cat enjoys pawing at the intruders to his kingdom. I enjoy watching them stalk bugs and taking photos of them. Note that they are bright green tree frogs, so good to look at. Not gross brown icky frogs.

The problem is this. During the day, these tree frogs favor my pool umbrellas over the trees. Perhaps they’re closer to the house so more convenient. Maybe the frogs don’t like a long commute. Or maybe they’re fancy frogs and dig the urban setting. Whatever the reason, they park it in my umbrellas. This is a problem.

Why, you ask, is this a problem? Well, because I use those umbrellas. So when I open them, there’s frogs. I have to stick my head under the fabric and basically close myself in with these slimy bastards. Then slowly crank the umbrella open. Why slowly? Because I need the frogs to inch up the pole to allow the mechanism to rise — but not so much as to cause the frogs to jump. Dear GOD don’t let those frogs jump on me especially my entrapped head and face!. Ick! It’s terrifying! Then when you close them, it’s the same thing just in reverse.

I wonder if I could put petroleum jelly on the poles to keep them away? Any suggestions?

Clean Sheets!

You know that feeling of nice clean sheets? Well, I am looking forward to going to sleep tonight. I just bought a set of bamboo sheets to try (link). Not only that, but I got a mattress topper too (link)!

I know I like the mattress topper. It’s the same one I got to put on my moms bed. Two inches of gel foam and two inches of pillow puff. Our mattress is too firm, so I hope this helps a lot. I hope I like the sheets. I’m not a fan of synthetic micro fiber sheets and I didn’t realize these weren’t 100% bamboo. But I’m going to give them a go. I get so hot sleeping. I’m hoping these will be nice and cool. They FEEL great. You never know till you sleep in them. The not 100% bamboo scares me, but it has almost 80,000 Amazon reviews with a 4.5 star rating. So some people love them.

Last year we finally upgraded to a king bed. THANK GOD. There just isn’t enough room on a queen for two people. I need space, yall. I get hot and Mr C is like a little lava river over there. I gotta have somewhere to go. But I haven’t found a great set of king sheets yet. I have three sets of queen sheets I love (out of, like, six). But I just haven’t found a set of sheets that wow me since we got the king bed. Both sets are luxury cotton. They just don’t have that silky smooth cool feeling I love. So we’ll try this new set. It wasn’t an expensive set, so we’ll see. The reviews are good.

Here’s to a good nights sleep!

Sneaky bastards.

You know those speeding radar signs? The ones that flash how fast you’re going at you? Sometimes the flash red if you’re going over the speed limit. Well, there’s a new one on our road. And the sneaky bastards put police lights on it. That’s right. If you speed past it, it flashes blue police lights like you’re being pulled over. Gives you a heart attack right there. Crafty devils! (The speed limit is normally 45 but they have it lowered to 35 with the flashy sign because of “construction.”)

Anatomy of our emergency bags.

It’s tornado season! Time to check your supplies. Check the charges in your batteries. Make sure the food in your shelter isn’t expired. I got out our battery packs to charge them this weekend. I usually add something every year for the shelter or our bags. So I thought I’d show you our bags.

I like to be prepared. For anything. I think it’s important. And if you can afford it, do it. We have a stocked tornado shelter. Part of the tornado shelter stock is broken out into our emergency packs that live in our cars. The idea is that you grab your pack on the way to the shelter. This allows the bags to serve multiple purposes:

  • Tornado blew the house down
  • Roadside emergencies
  • Urban catastrophes
  • Stranded in butt-fuck-nowhere emergencies
  • Fuck-I-have-to-fend-for-myself-in-the-woods emergencies (unlikely to happen)

I started with two Yukon Outfitters mid-range emergency kits (Amazon Link). I paid a pretty penny but woot.com had them on special. I’m sure they’ve upgraded their kits by now and you can find a similar pack. One thing I love about this kit is the Alpha Pack. I actually like this backpack so much that I bought it in silver to use as a overnight bag (Amazon Link). First thing you’ll note, the bags are marked. Mine has a ribbon and name tag so I know which is which. That’s because some contents depend on the individual (hello, spare clothes). Over the years, I’ve added various things as I’ve realized they’d be handy.

Let’s get started. The Yukon bags prepared us for the probably-not-gonna-happen case of surviving in the woods. Here’s a handy rundown of the contents (And a few things I added to supplement):

  • Backpack with many pockets (Gotta carry your shit).
  • 5 Liter Foldable Water Container (You need water for survival).
  • I added some water purification tablets to the pack too. Clean water is even better for survival.
  • Stainless Steel Water Bottle (Steel is important. This is so you can throw that puppy in the fire for cooking or boiling water. Take off the plastic top first).
  • Rainfly – it’s basically a tent cover or a big tarp for your hammock, or just keeping your sad ass out of the rain or sun. It’s fancier than a tarp though because it has high visibility lines (so people can find your sad ass), anchors, rope to hang it, and a fancy carrying bag.
  • Mosquito Hammock. My ass isn’t sleeping on the ground. Fuck that. Fuck bugs too.
  • I added Hammock Tree Straps to hang the fucking hammock. Why wasn’t this included in the kit? What are you gonna do with your hammock and no tree straps? Think ahead, people.
  • LED Flashlight/Lantern. Fancy little flashlight. Don’t forget to add batteries and store them separately so they don’t erode!
  • Locking/Folding Knife. Of course you need a sharp pointy thing. This is a simple 7 inch hunting knife.
  • 100 feet of Paracord. I don’t know what this is for… yet… But rope is handy for anything.
  • Emergency Medical Kit. This contains a LOT. It’s got all the basic fancy medical kit coverage plus a SAVE-MY-ASS-OVER-HERE whistle, sewing kit, basic fishing kit, a spork (who doesn’t love a spork?), fire starter tool, poncho, and emergency blanket. All in one bright ass orange kit. Oh and it has a notepad and pencil. I guess so you can write sad poetry.
  • NOTE: I added everything else from here on out: Like matches. Yeah, I have a fire starter, but hey — matches are better.
  • Firesticks because we have time to prepare in advance, lets make this fire starting easy.
  • Food. I have some just-add-water mashed potatoes and beef jerky. The mashed potatoes aren’t keto but I made these before I was keto. Also if I’m dying in the woods, I’m having carbs.
  • A fleece blanket that zips into a sleeping bag. I wanna be comfy. Also this can be used for spontaneous picnics and festivals where you don’t want to sit on the ground! Blanket in the car.
  • Two fire blankets. They can be useful.

So okay. We’re not likely to be stuck in the woods. But what about road side emergencies? Well…

  • HALO BOLT. (Amazon link). Why don’t you own one of these? Everyone should have this thing. It’s just a big battery pack — that can also jump start your car. I’ve used it twice already on other peoples cars. Also, can charge your phone. Even has a freaking A/C plug on it if you just wanna plug in a lamp. If you drive a car, this should be in it. Period. Makes jump starting so easy and a one-person job. No second engine needed. No creepy strangers to help you needed. GET ONE. Check it twice a year to make sure it’s charged.
  • I put a phone charger in with the Halo Bolt because if I’m stuck some where, I want a charged phone. NOTE: Keep up with current technology. We got new phones last year and I had to get new chargers to put with the bolts. Didn’t even realize until I got them out to verify the charge this week.
  • I bought a nice bag for the Halo Bolt because the one it comes with sucks. I bought this one: Amazon Link. Perfect fit.
  • Safety Beacon. This is basically a really big road flare. It’s bright as fuck. Multiple modes and it’s magnetic to slap on the side of your car. Don’t forget to, again, add batteries but store them separate so they don’t erode. (Mr C, your pack doesn’t have this. Sorry, it was a present I got.)
  • NOTE: You already have the flashlight from above.
  • This weekend I added a roll of duct tape. DUH, why didn’t I have that?

Okay. So what about other emergencies? Once I wrecked my car and had no spare clothes for days because I didn’t plan on being there for days. Once all the power in half the state went out – for three days. You think anyone was taking credit cards? Nope.

  • Spare clothes. Underwear, socks, long sleeved tshirt.
  • Cash in small bills. Plus some quarters in case you need air in your tires. (I actually have a mini air pump for tires in my car, but Mr C doesn’t). Pro Tip: When the powers out, restaurants gotta get rid of their shit. The italian place with a wood fire oven was selling anything for $5. But you had to have cash and exact change.
  • Antibacterial hand gel and wipes.
  • A travel toiletry kit. Includes: Shampoo, conditioner, comb, soap, tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant and floss. I started with this one (Amazon link) and added a razor and face wipes.

Maybe you can start your own emergency packs. What would you include? I add something new every year. This year was new phone chargers, toiletry kits, and duct tape. Next year might be getting a bigger bag! Maybe switch to a slightly larger duffel…