Category: Plants & Gardening

String of Bananas (Curio Radicans) and Hanging Plants from a Closet Rod Tip

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on String of Bananas (Curio Radicans) and Hanging Plants from a Closet Rod Tip

String of Bananas Repot, Chop, and Prop

Isn’t it funny all the trailing plant names? String of Pearls, Bananas, Fish hooks, Dolphins, Turtles — just to name a few! Today, I repotted my something and decided to use Google Image search to identify it. Turns out it is a String of Bananas Plant. Well isn’t that cute? Now that I’ve found out what it is — everyone has all these very fussy instructions on how to care for it.

Listen. If you’ve been to my house in 5, maybe more years — you’ve seen the terrarium on my kitchen table. It’s where my succulents live. They’re in a terrarium because Jack was a plant eater. Louie gives no fucks (typical Louie).

I just buy the little 2 inch pots at the nursery. I’m not good with succulents so when they die, I just pop them out and replace them like a kids goldfish. Nothing to see here. But the String of Bananas was one of the OG succulents in here. It might be the only OG I have.

When I started this terrarium of succulents (before that it had other plants rotated in – including a bonsai which died leaving that square pot), I bought a variety. I wanted different textures and colors. So the String of Bananas would add a little hanging accent. Mom always said you need a Spiller, a Filler, and a Thriller. These would be my spiller.

Well, that damn thing just kept growing. It was like maybe 2-3 inches long when I bought it. It just started to fill the terrarium. Eventually I took it out and folded it nicely and put it back in. Still, it had to come out at some point. So when I did my home office and added hanging plants in the window, I put it in a hanging basket. When it got too long, I’d just fold and swing the trails over the pot to grow down the other side. When I moved it to the bedroom, it looked like this:

A few weeks ago, I noticed little roots growing out of the bottom of the inner pot. Time to get a bigger pot! So tonight, I repotted from that 6 inch to an 8.5 inch. But first, I had to untangle it…

Holy shit, the trails are over 5 feet long, easily! It’s pretty thin though. So rather than wad it all up again, I went chop and prop. I cut it into three sections and rooted the lower two sections back into the main pot. I used rooting hormone and this thing has grown like a weed, so I hope they take. Apparently, it will split in two where it was cut, so I hope to get a fuller plant this way. Then when it’s full and long, I can drape the length over the rod like a window swag. I’m so fancy.

Go go, little Banana Strings.

Hanging Plants Tip: CLOSET ROD

Also, when I went to grab that picture, I saw I didn’t post about hanging plants in my bedroom. WTF? I’ve just been so damn tired and fucking depressed and anxious and all over the place lately. Sorry!

So back in June, we had the floors redone. Everything had to be moved out of the downstairs. I’ll link that post here. So all of my plants went to the Master Bedroom. I made myself a little nook to live in since we had to live upstairs for a month. And you know what? I really liked having plants in the bedroom.

(NOTE: Fuck me, I haven’t posted about my MONSTERA? WHAT? I gotta post that.)

So I decided I need some plants to keep in the bedroom. Only problem was how. That card table was only there temporarily so I could put the plants in there. It was also too far from the window to get great light. I wanted to do hanging plants! Like in my office!

As you can see, I just hung the plants in my office from the curtain rod. The String of Bananas was in here with the Creeping Jenny, but I moved it to the bedroom. Now the Creeping Jenny can shine.

Problem: There’s nowhere to put a center support in the bedroom window. It’s a curved window. It’s over six feet wide. A six foot curtain rod would sag without a center support even without the weight of plants on it. So I brainstormed on it for a while. I pondered. Obviously, if I had tools and resources, I could buy a nice solid curtain rod, cut it to length, and make nice brackets. But we’re trying to do this on the cheap here. I need COTS parts.

CLOSET ROD!

Thin closet rods are rated at 30 and 40lbs. And I can get one the right length from Lowes or Home Depot! So I went to Home Depot to look at my options. I chose a seven foot clothes/closet rod and the least intrusive brackets I could find.

BAM! Hanging plants. I LOVE THEM! And this picture is a month old. The big leaf thing has new leaves, the Christmas Cactus of Friendship was trimmed for propagation (to continue the friendship train) and already has three new leaves coming in. The pot of nothing on the far right is the free zig zag cactus cuttings I got from the plant swap. They haven’t done SHIT. They also haven’t rotted or dried out, though. So I’m waiting it out on that.

I’m super happy with it. My joy was a bit (a lot) dampened by the fact that husband thinks it’s ugly. He’s not against the plants, but he hates how far it sticks out from the window. He wishes I would have just got a table or something. But like, that wouldn’t have worked. I can’t just go find a nice two foot tall skinny couch/entry table that looks nice on a $30 budget. Husband is unreasonable on some things. We can make it better in the future — but I can have SOMETHING now.

I don’t love that it’s so far from the window — but I love having my hanging plants in the bedroom! And I think it was a damn clever solution. I even hung some mementos on the ends. He didn’t even recognize the blue heart necklace pendant he gave me 14 years ago that was pinned under my skirt as my “something blue” at our wedding 12 years ago. Now it’s catching the light in our window. With my plants.

Maybe in the future, I’ll hang a nice rod from the ceiling — or do custom brackets. But for NOW, closet rod was genius. It’s not even sagging at all — even with the new larger pot for the String of Bananas. So if you need a dirt cheap way to hang some plants — closet rod.

I’m really enjoying having indoor plants now that my cat doesn’t give a fuck about destroying them.

IKEA Hallway Makeover

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on IKEA Hallway Makeover

Since we moved into our gorgeous home nine years ago, I’ve had a shame. (Well, the bedroom furniture is tragic, but no one sees that.) With an open floor plan, it’s hard to hide. Unless you’ve been to my house, you haven’t seen it. I have probably shown photos of every inch of my house, but not this one. In fact, I’m glad I took some before pictures knowing I was doing a makeover. I can’t find any old photos of this hall! I always clip it out or avoid it in photos. Unfortunately, it’s on display in the house though. It’s the hall where our garage door meets the downstairs bathroom and the cat’s litterbox room. It’s fully visible from the dining room and kitchen and I’ve HATED IT for years.

So, as you know, we recently had our floor redone. After it was done, we had a few days waiting on the movers to move our shit back in. During this time, I saw a fully clean hallway. I realized how much I REALLY fucking hated that hall. And that’s when I decided, I gotta fix this like NOW.

You all know, my husband is not a spender. So until we pay off the house, we aren’t making big purchases. So this hall has always just been some cheap 13-year-old short Target shelves full of shit. I TRIED to make it better by using storage cubes I already had. But yeah, bad. Especially, always seeing the cleaning tools. So I’ve been telling myself that we will have the cabinet people come and build some nice storage there. The other side of this wall is the garage so we could even steal some space from the garage to make them deeper. But that’s gonna cost.

But I finally broke. I needed to fix it. Here it was in its CLEANEST state. That’s because we had just moved everything back in and I tried to make it look neater. I don’t even have any photos of this area before the floor redo. Notice I never hung anything over here so no one would look.

We kinda need the storage. Some of the stuff could go other places (and since has). But we want our shoes there by the door. This works out as a great feeding station for the cat. It’s a spot to drop things off when you come in and out. And there’s just some shit that doesn’t have a home, okay? Where do you keep all your spare candles? All the clips and command hooks and stickies? All you bottles of chemicals? And before the litter closet makeover, this was where the spare food and litter and supplies went as well.

So I needed something with doors. Cabinets. But I needed a broom storage so tall cabinets. So I looked at IKEA. I’ve never used IKEA. But they make affordable stuff, right? Everybody has “cheap” IKEA furniture, right? I decided on the PAX system. Just kidding, that’s sold out and unavailable. How about the Billy? These are Billy shelves with Oxberg doors.

OK, OK. The tall cabinets have a non-optional middle shelf… but like it’s not the LAW that I have to install that. So a single for brooms and cleaning shit. A double for everything else. The 15 inch doors above the cat food station are only available in glass, but I can put some contact paper or something on them. Their cabinets are wider than what we had, so the shoe bench won’t fit anymore. So I added a single short for shoe storage.

I can make that work! And I DID — look at this shit: My so not-at-all-shameful hallway!

Look at how CLEAN it is! Holy shit! All those plants are from IKEA too. They were absurdly cheap. I didn’t intend for them all to go here. However, I like the inspiration to not set anything on top of the cabinets. As you can see, our base molding is taller than normal so they don’t sit flush against the wall. Hence the hanging plants. They were super shiny, but I hit all the plants with some matte clear spray.

It’s so clean! The white is so fresh too! And there’s so much storage! Here they are before I got the tall doors on:

They are shallower than the shelves I had before. So I didn’t get to keep my easy cube storage. But I made it work. Everything has a home! Those storage boxes from IKEA are a perfect fit. They’re the Kuggis boxes that are 10.25 inches deep so fit like a glove. I’m so glad I bought enough to do a whole row of them. I wish I had bought more. They’re like useful little junk drawers. One is for clips and hooks. One is hardware and wires. One is craft miscellaneous. The last is WTF miscellaneous. I got a basket with all the pool bits and bobs in it. But most importantly…

I HAVE A BROOM CLOSET, MOTHERFUCKERS!

I never thought a broom closet would make me so fucking happy. But it does. It really really does. Like I didn’t know those broom handles were eating my soul until I put a door there. LOOK! (For those wondering, that middle shelf did seem kind-of required. I assembled it without the middle shelf and when I stood it up it bowed out just enough for the back to pop out. My solution was to install the middle shelf vertically. It is glued in using the wood dowels in the back most holes.)

Also, all of these units are screwed together with barrel bolts and screws for the PAX system. Six for each tall connection and four in each short. So this unit is solid. See my post about connecting them here.

Now look at the difference when you exit my downstairs guest bathroom. I mean da-y-mn. Such a difference. Holy shit. I’m so pleased. I just want to look at it. Before vs after:

I am an IKEA convert. Holy shit. This is better than I could have hoped. I meant this to be a temporary stopgap until we could get some professional stuff built. But I’m so happy with it, I think I might just hire someone to do some hacks to make it look more built in later. You know, move the floor trim, flush against the wall, cover the outside sides with real wood. For now though — holy fuck, 90% there! I can’t believe it was so affordable! I can’t believe how much I HATED THIS HALL.

Oh oh oh — did you notice the hardware? The IKEA Oxberg doors come with the tiniest joke of a door knob known to man. So I went online and picked up some simple handles and knobs. Turns out I bought the EXACT SAME hardware that is all over my house. I guess my tastes on cabinet door hardware doesn’t change much. I used the existing screw hole for the bottom of each handle. The shorter doors I bought the option of handles or the matching knobs. I did not like the look of the handles. Since they wouldn’t line up with the other three, I thought it looked bad. So I used the knobs. I don’t absolutely love the knobs, but they match the handles (same set). Oh and I used extra knobs to switch out the silver ones in the guest bath so that cheapo cabinet matches now too!

This is such a big win. I just can’t stop looking at it. No more avoiding photos now! This is AWESOME!

Oh, and I know I already did a whole post about the cat lounge and litter room makeover before it was complete. I painted the cabinet doors now. So now all of the extra cat stuff that was on these shelves lives in the litter room (tons of unopened food, cat litter, deodorizers, ect). And the stuff I need daily for feeding lives above Louie’s Jazz Lounge! The opened kibble, the opened case of cans, all of his treats, paper plates for wet food, a water carafe for water refills, even a knife (in the green glass) for splitting the cans of food. And look — hooks for the food scoop and can opener! IT’S SO PERFECT! I whipped up a box to hide/protect the fountain cables and extension cord too.

NOTE: The doors are not painted perfect and you will not comment on them when you see them. It isn’t noticeable, but it’s not perfect. First, I tried just using contact paper on the glass. That was far too stark white, slightly see through, and the corners weren’t great. So I painted it with our house trim paint. That was a huge debacle of rusted paint cans, paint spilling out of holes in the bottom, and rust spots in the paint. But it’s a super thick luxury eggshell paint. I did 3 coats with heavy sanding between each one. But I’m a human without a mechanical sander and you could still see the paint brush lines! UGH! I finished it off with a white wash of acrylic and two coats of clear matte sealant. I’m fucking done with them. Even though some of the god damn paper over the particle board peeled off with the blue painters tape! It was a tiny bit and I touched it up with the acrylic paint. It’s fine. It’s all fine. I’m done. Five fucking coats of paint plus two coats of sealer, I’m not messing with them anymore.

Pumpkin Farming Adventures

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Pumpkin Farming Adventures

Welp, the first pumpkin patch experiment continues. I’m learning a lot. It’s not going as well as I had hoped. Keeping up with their water needs has been a huge pain. I had to get a cheap irrigation line and timer. The timer runs every 6 hours (it was that or every 12). They still wilt in the afternoon heat.

But then, global warming is killing us. Like literally, it’s cooking us.

Then I thought, maybe the water was draining through too fast. So I rigged up milk jugs to fill with the water and slowly disperse it through a pin hole. They perk up right after watering, but I worry how it will affect the fruit.

Slugs have also proven to be a problem. I expected assault from above and so I used insect netting. Turns out slugs were coming out between the mesh barrier and concrete and munching my leaves. I went out one night and saw the fuckers just eating away! WTF?

At first, they just terminated two vines early. But by the time I got slug bait/poison, they got to the heart of one plant and the main vine of another. Here’s how they looked this weekend:

Last night, I went out and cut off all the yellow leaves and found the heart of the problem. They had directly attacked the main vine. It has healed, but all that yellow in the middle died. Here it is today:

So frustrating! That’s the Jack-o’-lantern plant that had a month head start over the others. It takes 120 days to mature so it went out early. Bastard slugs!

Still, I’m finally getting some female flowers to pollinate! You can see that I removed the insect mesh since it wasn’t doing any good. I decided it would better serve me to cover more ground to keep out slugs and keep the weed vines from tangling with my pumpkin vines.

The past two mornings I’ve been able to go and fertilize two females each morning. Two minis and two large. Tomorrow, another large should bloom.

Im not sure if it was the slugs or my pinching off the male flowers that was causing my females to prematurely fall off. Maybe both. But now that I’m letting them bloom freely and removed the netting, there are many happy bees. Look at these cuties from this morning:

They were inside the prettiest vine. I think this is the vine that grows the big grey/green pumpkins. Love the variegated leaves and it has the prettiest flowers.

Unfortunately, it’s also the ones where the slugs attacked in the soil. I know because the marigolds I planted there are heavily munched. It is stunted, but still has some growth. No females on that one yet.

Lessons Learned So Far

I was very smart to put down a ground barrier. So smart that I used the insect netting to extend that barrier on the side. I used a sun sail and it is great. It’s thick and doesn’t let water sit long. Also blocks the light out and looks clean. However, I think the double layer of insect netting will serve the same purpose at a cheaper price. It’s much thinner. It will not keep light from the weeds, but it will keep them under it. It also stays wet longer, but I don’t think it’ll be too bothersome.

I like the twine that I tied from the plants (the poles that were holding up the netting) to stakes across the barrier. The vines want to grow towards the south and I’m training them to the East. I just inspect them every day or two to note female flowers and twist the latest growth around the twine. Also, since I’m growing in grow bags, the main plant is about 2 feet off the ground. This led to my first vine folding under its weight (had to use wood trim to support it). The twine has allowed me to slowly train the vines down to the ground while supporting the weight.

As for cons, well, slugs. I’ve got bug repellent and slug killer out now. The vines are so close together that it is murder to walk through for inspection. But I have to keep track of my female flowers. I only have one of each vine so I can’t rely on the pollinators. Maybe two of each type next year? Or make sure I use the same species so they can inter-pollinate? I will judge after the yield.

I’ve also let the vines on the sides spread out to make more room. I’m even letting the Jack-o’-lantern climb the stair railing to get it off the ground and away from the slugs.

The critter netting worked great until I could get everything growing well. Then, I added a layer of compost and a layer of mulch.

Instead of the cheapest timer, it might have been worth getting one with more customization options. Then I could water only in the heat of the day and not every 6 hours. Turn it on when it’s drooping and skip watering when it rains.

Another fail was using a cheap hose. I hooked up the timer with a cheap hose. It burst the next day. No shit. I guess it wasn’t meant to hold water pressure in a bend and full Alabama sun. Had to steal the hose from the garage for it!

This has been a more expensive and frustrating adventure than expected. Especially before this week. For two months I’ve been tracking female flowers only for them to fall off before they bloom. Now that I’m getting possible pumpkin babies, I’m much happier. I do hope they survive so I can watch them grow!

Oh, and I bought little labels to very loosely tie around the females to keep track of them. Super helpful when digging around in there to see if they’re soon to bloom. The females grow much closer to the main stem so you have to push leaves aside to find them.

It’s a big learning experience. I do hope to have something to show for it this Fall! It’s also been nice to watch it grow in that ugly rock corner. Such insanely large plants I started from seed!

Grow, my pumpkins, grow!

Spiffing up the deck

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Spiffing up the deck

Now that I’ve been gardening, I need to start cleaning up the deck. I mean, that lemongrass has to have somewhere to go!

We built the deck last year. The deck plus a professional paint job was like 8sih K. So, of course I asked how to care for it. I was told to give it a pressure wash every year and I should be solid. So, I need to pressure wash. I want to buy a powerful pressure washer. We have a big house. We have the garage, the pool deck, the wood deck, sidewalk, two stoops. I really want to wash the Juliet balcony and stoop ceiling. I did some research and decided to upgrade my price range to about 3 or 4 hundred, but I just got overwhelmed. So I just asked to borrow K’s pressure washer to get the deck done. I will try to get a good pressure washer during off season.

First, I discovered my deck is like a white car. You don’t realize how dirty it is because it just looks like a different shade of ecru. It was dirty. And I had to clean it like an inch at a time. It was far more tedious than I expected. I didn’t get the good satisfaction either. The red clay is not coming off. So the lighter the deck got, the more noticeable the red clay spots were. Ugh. Also, there’s been a ton of major construction behind us. A whole neighborhood. Right now the house that backs up to us is under construction. This means red clay dust.

I learned about that the first time we opened the pool after construction started. My pool cover is a very heavy thick mesh that lets no light through. But red clay was all over the bottom of the pool. Pool guy explained it was the construction. Well, now I see that that red dust gathered in the piles of leaves that say on the deck for months. So I really should be cleaning it in winter after the leaves fall. Live and learn.

I figured, while I’m out here, I’ll clean the stoop. Oh. My. God. Why is my stoop a whole-ass different color? I knew it was dirty — but jesus! So gross! I was horrified. Now I’m definitely buying a pressure washer! And where I went along the edge of the brick, I accidentally made lines on the concrete. I tried to blend them out and it just looks worse. UGH.

I REALLY want to do the pool deck now. But I want a more powerful washer so I don’t have to do it an inch at a time. Also, I’m not about to out that much wear on a borrowed tool. That’s a lot of concrete to clean.

The steps were not satisfying either. They were just disgusting. The top of the stoop was satisfying. Nice lines I could write in if I wanted. But, see, I thought the top of the stoop was clean. I always have a rug on it. So I thought it was clean. And it was NOT. So now I’m not satisfied or happy I washed stuff — I’m just disturbed. EVERYTHING needs to be power washed now. It’s not OK. But it has to be OK because I’m not buying one right now. I’m about to open the pool and buy a new salt cell to be installed too. And I want an adirondack chair. So it will wait.

Then, I spent half my Saturday dreading putting everything back on the deck. But Husband helped and we got it done. I finally hung the solar lights I was gifted for Chirstmas. Thankfully, I had enough to double over, because these lights were super far apart. So this is actually a doubled over strand. I’m also very happy with the posts I bought to raise them up above the fence. I wish I’d installed them at the top of the board instead of the bottom to get just a little more height, but they’re there now.

Also, I will say: These lights were tangled as fuck. I felt like Russ in Christmas Vacation. They had a garbage tie in the center… and yet, it did nothing. I literally had to walk along the fence and pull each and every bulb from the giant knot. Then when I went to test them, they didn’t come on! So I thought it must have been all the vigorous shaking and tugging of untangling them! So I left them alone and went inside to put pillow cushions on. Then I read the directions for the remote and saw that they won’t come on if there is any light present. They only come on in the dark. This picture was immediately after they finally came on:

Speaking of pillows… I bought pillow covers! My mom has gifted me many outdoor pillows over the years. Walmart always sells them super cheap. They’re $5 right now, actually. And I never had the heart to throw them away. One year was fancy browns with text that I didn’t care for a lot. One year was the flamingo and the watermelon “Sweet Life.” Then the last year was the Blue Flamingos. Those were my favorite but three summers after her death, they were very faded. And the watermelon straight up tore open. I actually considered painting over the flamingos to make them bright again, but I can’t keep every bit of mom.

Then, a thought occurred to me. I don’t need new PILLOWS. I can keep moms pillows. I just need COVERS! So I spent an evening browsing the internet for outdoor pillow covers. I’ve always had the pool in a blue and green theme. Then last year, I replaced the main pool umbrella with an orange one. So I wanted to keep my blue and green but bring in some orange. And here we go!

I got a super cheap 4 pack of the blue and green watercolor. They are actually all 4 different. They’re also not a great material, but they look awesome. Only three needed here. Then I just got a cheap solid orange with white piping. Oh. And the cat. COME ON — I couldn’t not get that dork cat. It’s fucking adorable. I’m sad it’s on yellow because that’s not in my colors, but I had to have that one. I like them so much that I’m getting UV fabric protection spray so hopefully they won’t fade so much.

I’ll also note the difference in everyone’s version of a 16×16 inch pillow case. The orange ones were pretty spot on. The blue and green, the pillow had to be curled over and forced in there. And the Yellow cat was HUGE. I actually stuffed him with pillow fluff to fill it out more. That will be the soft pillow for lounging.

Oh and I ordered bright green spray paint to refresh my faithful 8 year old cheap plastic adirondack chairs for the second time. Problem with those is… I like them on the deck. They’ve been on the deck all winter. In the summer they are across the pool by the tanning ledge. This is so someone (usually husband) can grab them to sit on the tanning ledge and not get wet but have their feet in the water. So I do need them there. However, I’d like to have one on the deck. So I might get a nice(er) one for the deck. Not wood — aint nobody got time to keep up with that. But maybe one of those thicker plastic ones that aren’t all flimsy? I like having somewhere to sit on the deck that isn’t a hammock.

So I spent a lot of time outside today. Mainly waiting on my lights to come on. I refilled the squirrel feeder. As I sat in my hammock chair — desperate squirrels kept coming by to check it. Then the Cardinal couple came. It’s a female and a male and they always come together to watch out for each other. Well, fuck — yall need some black sunflower seeds! So I filled it up and waited on my lights.

The Cardinal couple didn’t come back, but Carlton did! We call the big male cardinal Carl. Now there’s a much smaller male. So I call him Carlton. I left a little pile of black sunflower seeds on the concrete pad in hopes that the couple would come back. Carlton found it!

Excuse how terrible that photo is. It was at FULL zoom. I was trying to move very sneakily so as not to scare him (he didn’t realize I was in the hammock). So I had to slowly sneak the camera over enough to get past the fern.

It’s nice sitting on the deck and watching the wildlife. Carlton is eating seed there, and there’s a squirrel sitting on the feeder having dinner too.

Listen to the SMEs.

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Listen to the SMEs.

So THIS is why people just save lemongrass stalks from year to year and no one grows from seed.

I cut those stalks clean not 48 hours ago. This is only the second time I’ve watered them. I cut all the leaves off so they’d focus on root growth. All 8 stalks have new shoots like a centimeter long! Even the one that had like no roots and just a bulb nub.

Y’all, my seedlings have been under 2 inches for like a month. I’ve got them out there with a grow light and a fan on a timer. Gave them miracle grow under watered for three days now. NO DIFFERENCE.

The experts know what they’re doing. Wish I’d done more research months ago and learned how they propagate them before I jumped in with seeds. These stalks were way more expensive than seed, but far cheaper than a lemongrass plant. From now on, we doing this every year.

No pumpkin sprouts yet.

Gardening and Back Aches

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments on Gardening and Back Aches

The Squirrel Dilemma

So where were we? Ah yes, I was complaining about the frogs that tried to kill me when I watered my overwintered plants outside for the first time. Yes. I now have three sun ferns and some mandevillas out back plus the same porch plants from last year.

Problem is… squirrels. I love squirrels, don’t get me wrong. But they start digging up all my plants. Every single pot. Look at this motherfucker on my Ring camera:

I couldn’t figure it out. I thought they might be burying the peanuts I feed them. I dug around in the pots and found no nuts. I went to the internet. Apparently, they dig around for stuff that might have been buried last Fall? What the fuck? I just potted these. There’s nothing there, dumbass. Why haven’t I ever seen them dig elsewhere? I hate to jinx myself, but they don’t dig up my flower beds. I don’t see little holes all around my yard.

They weren’t just looking once either. They were digging them up multiple times a day. One day, my Mandevillas had their damn roots exposed! So something had to be done. For what I had out already, I just used the bastard pool rocks. I just put rocks all around the plant in the pot. I’m not sure about this for the ferns though, because they will want to expand. Maybe I can remove them later. We’ll see about those. For the others, it’s a great solution. They haven’t bothered them since.

But what about my lemongrass and pumpkins? Those will be seedlings. I can put rocks around those. So I decided on critter mesh to keep… well… critters away. So I proposed an errand day to my friends. We went to Cat Bird Seat and Lowe’s.

I needed to replace a dying succulent in my table center piece. I needed dirt for my pumpkins and lemongrass. And, of course, critter netting. So I set out with K, K2, and K’s SO.

Don’t shop for plants with friends (AKA “Enablers”)

We went to Cat Bird Seat first. Just a local plant place. They’re super close and also on the way to the big box stores. K2 proposed that they would have a better succulent collection. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a nice colorful one like the one I was replacing. They did, however, have a large selection. I narrowed it down to two little guys. One I chose for the color pop of pink edges. The other for the quirkiness. I presented my two options to my friends to ask which I should go for. They insisted I get both. I told them I only had room for one. They suggested I get another tiny pot and go for “levels.”

Goddammit they were right. I got them both plus a super tiny pot from Lowe’s. A few weeks ago I already added river rocks to this centerpiece because the bottom of the terrarium was showing rust. Now it’s like major upgrade. I already had the main pot on the riser. I just slid it to the side a bit for the little guy. LOOK AT THE LEVELS. It’s so dynamic. And the rocks look great.

PUMPKINS!

So then we headed to Lowe’s. Why Lowe’s? Because Lowe’s and Home Depot are very close together and K was in the left lane which went towards Lowe’s. Highly complex decision making, clearly. It worked out great though. They had a sweet deal on dirt! One cubic foot of fertilized top soil for $2. That’s a steal! I got regular top soil that wasn’t fertilized for $2.99 and thought THAT was a good deal. I need a lot for my 5 pumpkin pots.

Well, they’re aren’t pots, per se. They’re actually nursery bags inside nursery fabric pots. The bags, which won’t break down, are ugly and just for growing, not showing. The fabric pots are nicer, but they are biodegradable. So I combined the two so I can reuse them. Fabric pot on the outside, lined with a bag on the inside. Yes, the bottom of the fabric pot will still be wet, but I hope to get a few seasons out of them. Also, the fabric pots would drain from all areas. With the bag, only the drainage holes will drain.

Anyway, I needed to get these pumpkins out ASAP. I knew they needed to go out in May. After the clusterfuck of lemongrass seeds that wouldn’t sprout, I need to get them out on time. That way if I have bad seeds, I can buy new seeds and still get pumpkins. So I spent the weekend filling my pots. I did NOT buy enough dirt. I figured one bag would be plenty per pot. I was wrong. Each pot took two bags. So yeah, I had to go BACK to Lowe’s on Sunday for even more dirt. (Also, I did look up how big a pot I would need for a pumpkin. 20 gallons. That’s why I couldn’t afford to buy actual pots.)

Now these pots are heavy. Thank god for my garden wagon! I managed to get them all out. I used broken umbrella pieces (not a hoarder) and tennis balls to hold up the critter netting. I used it doubled over and tucked it under the pots on the front and sides. Then I used 3 packs of binder clips to secure the back so I can have access as needed.

Once the vines grow long enough, I will lay out a sunshade over the rocks to keep the weeds out and allow the vines to stay neatly on top. I chose a sunshade because mesh tarps are crazy expensive. I don’t need anything strong, I need something that blocks light but is water permeable. So sunshade! I’ll buy some more critter netting to go over the vines too. Not sure how I’ll hold the netting up as I’m out of umbrella parts.

So may I introduce you to the very first day of my very first pumpkin patch!

But wait, there’s more.

I was researching caring for pumpkins so I can nail this. And everyone kept mentioning planting in July. Why July? I need 120 days to mature on the big ones and 90 on the small — that’s 4 months! Oh… fuck me. October is the TENTH month. So I need to plant them… in the SIXTH month… which is June.

Fuck me.

So if these grow, I’m going to get my small pumpkins in 90 days which is… early August. Yeah… that’s not gonna last till Halloween.

Fuck me.

So I guess this is a tester batch to see if these seeds sprout. Yeah. That’s it. I’ll pluck them when they do and replant at the correct date. Ignore the stupid person.

The Lemongrass Experiment

On to the lemongrass. Well, I fear I planted this one too late. The seedlings are so very tiny. I needed to get the domes off so I moved them to the garage. I’m going to stop top watering and switch to bottom watering with a bit of miracle grow. I also set up a fan to start hardening them up. It will run on its lowest setting for 4 hours on, 4 hours off, rinse and repeat.

Also, I’ve done so much lemongrass research. The reason I had difficulty finding seeds was that no one grows from seed. They grow from last years harvest. At the end of the season, you dig up the stalk and peel away all the leaves. Wash it really good so that there’s no dirt and a little bit of roots. Put all your stalks in a vase with cold water that you change out every week. Then next year, plop the stalk in the ground and your plant comes back. Obviously, I will do this from here on out if my lemongrass is successful.

To give my tiny baby lemongrass a boost, I did buy 8 stalks of wintered lemongrass. I got those planted up today in smaller, more colorful fabric pots. When my seedlings are ready to go, I can put those in there too. Since I want a lot of grass blades, I can plant a lot close together. Each plant will only put out between 10 and 20 blades. I’m growing them for the oils and scent, not for cooking. So I’m not trying to get thick juicy stalks.

They are currently in the garage because I need more critter mesh to cover them before they go outside. Hopefully, I will get them out tomorrow as I do not have another grow light. I should have had enough critter mesh, but I doubled up over the pumpkin patch. So tomorrow, I can add critter mesh and get those out in the sun.

I’ll continue rotating my seedings and hardening them up in the garage until they’re a bit more ready to go outside.

Lord, I Forgot About the Frogs in the Watering Can!

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment on Lord, I Forgot About the Frogs in the Watering Can!

This weekend , I repotted and generally took care of my over-wintered plants. Two Red Banana Trees, eight White Rio Mandevillas, and a giant sun fern. They lived in my master bedroom all winter with a sunlamp. I’ve been wanting to get them out because the Mandevillas are starting to smell very sweet. They’re waking up. So this weekend everyone went outside in big pots with fresh dirt.

So today, Monday, I go water them on my lunch break. Another advantage to working from home! So I grab my water can from the front porch (oh sorry, STANLEY’S STOOP). I water the plants there and go inside to get more water from the kitchen on my way to the back deck. I set my watering can in the sink and start filling.

FROG.

Now, y’all, my house gets a lot of frogs. My pool has the bubblers that sound like a running river. We live next to apartments with little retention ponds with fountains. We got frogs. These guys:

In the summer they cling to our windows to catch bugs attracted to the lights. During the day they sleep in my pool umbrellas and hide under the pillows. (Always check the pillows and umbrellas before sitting and opening because you will be attacked otherwise.)

So. These things scare me. I can’t explain it because I know they absolutely will not hurt me. But my god they are so quick and jumpy and they will JUMP ON YOUR FACE. Yes, it HAS HAPPENED TO ME. So, if I’m looking for them, I’m cool. Like I might have a jump scare if one moves when I find it, but it’s fine. If I’m not expecting to see one, my god, I will scream. Not like a long scream but an extremely loud full on scream.

Like when husband comes to bed with out loudly stating his presence when I’m “sleeping”. That kinda scream. Like the instinct of “I’m about to die” with the quick realization of “I’m ok”.

And in the summer, these motherfuckers love my umbrellas and my watering cans. Big two gallons of shade. Fuck yeah. Personal frog grotto, bitches. I get it. But I forgot. And you can’t see them in there because there’s only a small filling hole. Like this. Great watering can. Totally recommend.

So when I turn on the water, Big Bertha comes up to the fill hole. I scream. Husband is in work meeting. He usually handles the frogs. It’s ok, it’s in the can still… I get solo cup. I got this.

I get solo cup and quickly pounce over the hole while the waters still running. Got you, bitch! Then I scream bloody murder because there was a baby Bertha in there too and now it’s on my window sill!

So I get the solo cup covered can outside and set it down. Will worry about Big Bertha later. Gotta catch baby. There was much screaming. I get baby Bertha in the cup and run outside to release it. It jumps out of the cup and I scream. Cause that’s what I do. And THEN I have to call out “IM FINE! JUST A FROG!” Cause all the neighbors can here me.

Oy. I forgot about those fuckers in my watering cans. Last year Louie had a field day when I brought the watering can inside so frogs wouldn’t get in it… Not knowing there was a frog in it.

Anyway, I watered the plants with the solo cup over the hole so. Big Bertha wouldn’t attack me and then dumped her out. Now the can is INSIDE.

Why don’t these things come with a lid or a plug? I usually just have to water my deck plants with one hanging out on the can like this the whole time:

Yeah, that motherfucker sat there while I watered every single plant.

Life Hack

Also, I know I’m 41 and the daughter of a gardener extraordinair. I’m also lazy as fuck. So I’ve never over wintered my plants before. Holy shit, FREE PLANTS! I’ve got, like, $200+ worth of plants out there!

The Red Banana Trees with Mandevillas are back on the front porch. They thrived last year. This year, I removed one of the 4 Mandevillas from each pot. I also put them in much bigger pots and made a taller trellis on the side against the columns for the vines to grow up. Last year it was a hot mess and I kept wadding them up in a tomatoe-cage-like structure around the Banana Tree and they were barely contained and the Banana Tree suffered from lack of light.

The small sun fern I bought last year is HUMONGOUS. I knew I’d have to divide it, but I ended up dividing it into three! Three sun ferns the same size as this one was when I bought it.

Also, have you ever devided a fern? For fucks sake, I did not expect that difficulty. I tried to just dive in with a trowel. Nope. So I grabbed my machete. Nope. So I used the saw blade side of the machete. Nope. I ended up sawing the rootball easily enough, but damn, getting through the matted top layer was like WTF? I’ve trimmed hedges easier than that.

They’re fine. Still plenty of roots and green stems for each third. And little bulb things… Are those fern bulbs? Do ferns make bulbs?

I also have the two Mandevillas I thinned out in another pot. I’m going to let them grow over the back stair railing. See: FREE PLANTS.

If my lemongrass works out, I probably won’t buy anymore plants this year.

Overwintering sucks though. I have a cat. Plants a big and heavy. The garage is freezing. So this winter, I have a plan! I’m going to buy a popup green house (basically a popup tent) and put it where my gardening table is. Plenty of room. Stick some grow lights in there and buy a little greenhouse heater. Should only cost $200 all together and it already saved me that much this year!

Probably gonna start a compost heap for dirt too. I got an acre so I can put it way back in the corner of the property.

I watched a lemongrass tutorial and I think I found why the seeds are so hard to get. No one grows it from seed. They pull up the main stalk with barely any roots, trim it down to a few inches, strip off the outer layers, wash off the dirt, and stick them in cold water to over winter. Change the water out once a week and come spring, stick ’em back in the ground. So I’ll be doing that this year if I’m successful.

They also taught me how to weave little grass bundles for cooking and tea. So if anyone wants those, I should have a ton come fall!

Seed Nerds AKA seednerds.com is a SCAM: A Review

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | 5 Comments on Seed Nerds AKA seednerds.com is a SCAM: A Review

Putting this out there for all the fellow gardeners. seednerds.com is a scam. They present as a legit company based in California. They fooled me. I made purchase and was notified that I had made an international transaction on my credit card. This is the only indication I had that they were not CONUS.

I called the number to cancel my order. Fake number. I googled the address. Real address — I did street view — it’s a shipping warehouse.

Yeah, that is not an image of a “50-acre farm […which also…] partner[s] with local beekeepers to set up honeybee hives and with free-range chicken farmers to provide help with pest control and composting.”

I sent three emails to cancel the order. They just stonewall and ask for more information. After a few weeks, I get a shipping notice. So I wait for my seeds so I can return them. After all, they have a return policy:

I just need to email them and they’ll send me a shipping label. False. One, they informed me they moved their warehouse to china so I will have to pay to return them. OK, bitches, give me the address. Now I’ve sent six emails with continuous stalls and asking for more information and pictures. Pictures like this of seed packs with NO LABELS EVEN:

When I googled them back in early march, I didn’t find a lot of negative information. Now there is tons:

Seednerds.com review (scam site)
byu/pxlchk1 ingardening

https://www.facebook.com/seednerds/reviews

https://www.trustpilot.com/review/seednerds.com

So throw this hat in the ring. Seed Nerds or Seednerds.com with this contact information:

Business Address: 11010 Juniper Ave, Fontana, CA 92337, USA

E-Mail: info@seednerds.com

Phone: (716) 217-9642

Please call us from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, Monday through Friday, Pacific Standard Time

IS A SCAM. FRAUD. FAKE. CHINESE ASSHOLES.

***********Update on my Lemongrass************

So out of the THREE packs of seeds I’ve ordered from people — ONE is doing well. The plants came up quickly but do not seem to be growing much — unlike the first set of fake lemon grass that shot up like… well, regular old grass. The third contender hasn’t sprouted a single plant. And obviously, I can’t even plant this chinese shit.

I fear I will not have nearly as many plants as I had hoped.

A St Patty’s Day Miracle!

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on A St Patty’s Day Miracle!

So I found myself looking for four-leaf clovers today. I needed to wait outside, and I like to find them. Plus, Saint Patrick’s Day! I did well. Once I found five, I was like well, fuck, I gotta make it seven for the holiday. So I scoured. Number seven was elusive. I had left number one on the steps and was sure it would have blown away before I got the seventh.

I was in my PJs in the front yard on a main road. So I wasn’t comfortable leaving my yard to be the crazy lady on the side of a four-lane main road in her pajamas looking creepily at the ground. I mean, my own yard is enough already. I’m still the insanely weird lady — but like, on a leash. “She’s keeping to her own yard” – ya know? Even though there are MASSIVE patches of huge clovers over there. So like, my hunting area was limited.

I was thinking to myself how I can only do this because I’m really good at patterns. I think others could if they cared to. It’s like those picture puzzles online with a ton of 8’s or something and you have to find the 9. People love those, but they don’t apply it to real life. Don’t look at the clover patch as plants. They’re all equilateral triangles. They’re all perfect 120 angles between the leaves. Just a bunch of triangles. Now find the square. It’s quite simple. I’ve spotted them from the second story of a building before, no lie. Find the 90 degree angles. With practice, they stand out as abominations.

I’m quite good with patterns. I’ve always been focused on pinning the repeats in wall paper, fabrics, carpets. How small is the repeat. It’s quite elegant how some of them work the repeats. Very interesting to break it down to the square they are repeating. You have to break images across the square to hide it well. I’ve never created my own patterns, so there’s still a bit of mystery in how they do it. Anyway, it interests me. And after a few decades of practice, you get very good. Hence my magic power of four-leaf clover spotting.

I was about to give up with my six clovers. I was thinking how I could never find any of the more elusive clovers. The fives, the sixes, the seven leaves — they wouldn’t be as obvious in the way I find them. No squares, no 90 degree angles. And then…

There she was. My seventh. With five leaves.

Amazing. In my 41 years I’ve never found one above four. Ever. And I look. This one met my pattern — it looks like a four leaf from the top — but there’s a little baby runt leaf sticking straight out of the top. I had husband come look immediately. How special! I took a video to capture it. These are actually stills from the video.

You know, it was a bit sentimental. I haven’t done a lot since mom died. I mean, I’ve done a TON – but there are things I didn’t care to do. I used to decorate for EVERY holiday — I haven’t decorated for Easter in 4 years. Back in 2020, I actually bought a very cute leather journal to keep my four leaf clovers in. I put Jack’s foot print in it. I kept my clovers in it. There’s butterfly wings. There’s even one clover that mom found after searching with me. I made her sign it. I didn’t stop right after her death. There are clovers from 2021. But nothing from 2022 or 2023. Well, I had found a few and stuck them in my little tiny notepad to dry, but I hadn’t bothered to mark the dates or put them in the leather bound journal. It wasn’t fun anymore. My happy book wasn’t happy anymore.

This year I went out and found four a week or two ago. That’s when I noticed the lack of two years in my leather book. I put the clovers I had pressed in, but obviously I could not date them. I think what caused the resurgence was Louie’s one year adopt-aversary coming up. It’s time to add his foot print. It made me think of the leather bound journal. It inspired me to go find some clovers. And today I had thought about it but wasn’t going to. But then K needed to pick up something she’d loaned me. So I was out in the yard waiting as to give it back quickly. No need for them to have to come in and get it — they did loan it to me back in October and I hadn’t returned it yet. So I decided — why not — I’ll look while I’m waiting. Then I got to the must-find-seven.

And I did. But there’s more than JUST the five leaf. I needed a new book to press them. I’ve been using a tiny 3-inch composition notebook I got for free at some convention or training or something. The pages are too marked with dates and wrinkly now. They did a horrible job of pressing the four I found earlier this month. So I thought of a journal. I’ve had it for almost 4 years. I’ve kept it as it was sentimental, but never had a use for it. I knew it was a gift from my aunt-in-law. But I’d forgotten the circumstances. Just that it was thoughtful of her to buy it for me because it’s Star Trek and she knows I like Star Trek. Well, it’s hard backed and I needed a journal to press clovers so I grabbed it.

The card she included was tucked inside. Ahhh. It was a gift from when mom died. She had been thinking about me and saw this journal and thought I could use it. That’s why I’d kept it. It was so sweet and thoughtful of her to buy it and mail it. She wanted me to know I was in her thoughts. The time wasn’t right to use it when I got it. But now the time is right. I think of moms clover when I hunt now. She was so proud to find one. And today I was so proud to find my first five-leaf.

There’s a warmth there. A time to move on a little bit more. Kinda like a sign, if you believe in those things as I do. Louie has been helping to heal my heart of my loss of Jack. And now he’s brought back my clovers and a sweet memory of my mom. And the cherry on the cake is the journal given to me to try to ease my grief a bit making a simultaneous appearance.

Maybe it’s God. Maybe it’s mom being impressed with my overwintering of last summers plants, rescuing plants I normally would have let die to nurse them back to health, and now seeding my own plants for this summer.

I’m stepping into my destiny. Not some awesome destiny where I get a sword and a birth right. Just a tedious one where I stop letting plants die every year only to replace them. One where I nurture the sick plants back to health. One that has me out in my yard in my PJs looking for plants. Maybe one were I grow my own Halloween pumpkins.

I’d kinda rather have a sword.

Weekend in Review

Posted on | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment on Weekend in Review

This weekend, I made Lumalee!

The mouth is pretty jacked up, so ill probably work on that. Also, I feel like the green should have started sooner. Did I do an extra blue row or something? And how did I jack up one leg so badly? I did not notice that at all while I was making it. There are parts of it I am unhappy with, but I think it’s cute. I enjoyed making it. It was very much trust the process because it look JACKED-THE-FUCK-UP until I stuffed it. I should have taken a picture.

I really liked how the designer did the top to split it off into two points — very clever IMO. There are changes I would make if I did it again, but I won’t be doing it again. Super glad I bought an extra skein of blue because I sure did need it. I want to do a red mushroom, but I think responsibly, I should do Mario first so I know I have enough red for him first.

The Christmas blanket saga continues. But I’m honestly thinking of putting it aside. It’s not a project I am enjoying at all. I hate the yarn. I have more amigurumis I want to do — but I also really want to do a sampler blanket in greys. I could pick a yarn I actually LIKE. And each rectangle will be a different stitch. I think I’ll pick like three shades of greys — like this kit on Amazon that I am not going to buy:

1) I’ve had to buy compression gloves because working the Christmas blanket has hurt my hand.

2) I’m not enjoying it. It’s a chore, not a fun hobby.

3) The sampler blanket would let me pick a yarn I enjoy working with and that isn’t so damn hard to work with!

4) I’d get to learn a lot of new stitches. And it would keep changing up and not being a slog because once I finish one rectangle, the next would be totally different.

So yeah, thinking of putting the Christmas blanket aside for more enjoyable projects.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also this weekend, I washed the cars! I meant to wash mine inside and out, but I only got the outside done. But I also did Husband’s car. And I put it off for so long that I was still washing at dusk and got to see BATS IN THE BATHOUSE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I bought some of these camisoles at Duluth Trading. I’ve been living in them since. I would live in camisoles if I could. I get hot so easy. And if I’m cold, I can throw something on over it. But I can’t live in camisoles because I don’t like not wearing bras around people. I’m sorry, I’m an older generation and I don’t like my nipples showing. My boobs are awesome and do not need support — but I still have pointy nipples. Also, my mom was always braless at home growing up and it embarrassed me. Sorry mom. I wouldn’t have worn bras 24/7 either for my kids. Fuck that.

Anyway — these camisoles have the worthless “shelf bra” built in. BUT BUT BUT — with PADDED CUPS.

Holy fuck, it’s like I unlocked a new life reward. The camisole stays in place — no nip slips. and also NO POINTY NIPPLES.

Yall, they were on sale and I bought one of every color. And when the season changes, I’m gonna see if they have more colors and buy them too. You think I’m kidding? Husband is reading this thinking I spend too much money — honey, have you noticed me wearing that purple one, then the grey one, and now this teal one? Have you seen me wear anything else for like over a week? Do I have too many camisoles? Fuck yes. Burn all the others if you want to use that line of thinking. These are all I want now.

I can go out to the mailbox. My sister slept over and I didn’t have to put on a bra. I can answer the door if needed. No bras or robes required. I can live in my camisole now. It’s fucking amazing. BUY THIS SHIT (Clicky). 10 out of 10, 5 stars all the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EDIT: FUCK, How could I forget? I started my first ever seed babies!

It’s all lemongrass. Lemongrass is crazy expensive, I learned last year. SO I’m just seeding a fuckton of it. It keeps mosquitoes away. I’m also gonna try to grow pumpkins this year!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crochet pattern by AzeliaCrochet.