Cursing Cats and Other Curiosities -

Review: Made4Pets Modern Cat Tower

Posted on April 9, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments

This review is for Louie’s new cat tower. Or, as Amazon likes to call it: “Made4Pets Cat Tree Modern Cat Tower Featuring with Fully Sisal Covering Scratching Posts, Deluxe Condos and Large Space Capsule Nest.” This is listed at $159.99 right now, but there was a $17 off coupon on it when I ordered.

Not sure where to start this review. A pro/con list? Let’s start with getting the package. This thing was packaged wonderfully. Was there a ton of excess trash because of that? Yes. However, I appreciated that the acrylic bowl was situated in custom cut styrofoam to keep it from getting damaged. I also liked how organized all the assembly bits were in their neat tray. Just don’t open them upside down, like I did.

First, I laid everything out. Then I was intimidated. I love assembling furniture, but I have to say, this had a lot of pieces. The first thing I noticed, out of the box — All of the particle board pieces are completely finished on all sides – even those that meet and don’t show. That’s really nice. I wasn’t thrilled that the front and back pieces are just thin laminate and not solid “wood.” However, I did note that it would be easy to switch those two pieces so this tree could face left or right. That’s nice. The biggest con was the assembly method. It uses cam lock fasteners. I hate these things. They just don’t make for sturdy fasteners. They give too much wobble.

The instructions were pretty good. I’d watch the video first. I did not. Had I done that, I probably wouldn’t have done step 6 upside down and had to back track. Do you know how hard it is to get cam locks out? Real hard. Note that on the piece with the two entrance holes, there are predrilled holes towards the top for the top stair. It’s not just symmetrical.

Also, I posted a picture with some markups. 100% switch steps 11 and 12. This is stupid – do 12 first. That saves you from “some” of the gymnastics to get step 11 done. Good lord, good luck. You’re going in blind – literally, and trying to fasten things you can’t see at strange angels upside down. God speed.

That said, my cat was all over this thing during assembly. He loves it! I was putting the rug mats on and he was already climbing it and getting in my way. He went under the bowl and started attacking those four scratchers immediately. I sat him in the bowl and he started attacking the corner balls. Tons of fun for the cat. He hasn’t been into hiding in the boxes, but I, at least, appreciate the very fluffy butt pillows that are in there.

I found that he loved the bowl if I put him in it, but wouldn’t jump in it on his own. I think that’s because he can’t see that it’s a solid place to jump. So I put a blanket in there. I know, this limited the adorable toe beans and scrunched-up-cat-cuteness, but it’s probably more cozy with the blanket anyway. Even if it does distract from the clean aesthetics. Now that the blanket is in there, this is his GO-TO spot. He just trots up the stairs and gets in his little bowl. My husband says that’s mostly where he hangs out when I’m at work.

I bought this for the high bowl for him to hang out in. I wanted him to have a high place to sit in the window. This is perfect! He sits in the bowl and watches the people go by in the front window. I have to leave those blinds open for him. It is his favorite spot in the house. I also bought this for the clean design. Thank you so much, for not covering this thing in carpet! I hate those ugly cat trees! Also, if he barfs on it, I can wipe it up or wash the part he barfed on (the rug pads are velcroed on).

So in summary, I do love the finished product. If it was screwed together and not held together with cam locks, it would be 5 stars for SURE. Even with the cam locks, it’s pretty sturdy. My cat has leapt at this thing and it’s been completely fine. He loves it, I’m happy with the look. It’s great. So I give it 4 stars.

Pregnant or Fat Until Proven Innocent

Posted on April 5, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

Friday I had to see my dermatologist. I’ve been on medication to thicken up my hair for about a year now. Last summer, I had a ton of growth around my head, but not up top where it shows most. Comparison of photos from last year confirms this. So he thought we could do even better and put me on a different stronger medication. He doesn’t start people on it because it long lasting, which means it takes a long time to get out of your system if it fucks you up. But since I’ve not had any side effects from the others, he was ok with it. It’s another “For Men ONLY.” one. So he verified with me, again, that I can’t get pregnant. Cause it fucks up the babies.

So having just acquired a cat, I’m getting all his records and shit, right? And this doctor is just taking me at my word that I’ve been “fixed.” So hear me out here. We’re already walking around with vaccine cards from Covid now, right? We’re half way there. Give me a little metal tag to put on my key chain that says I’ve been fixed. So when I go to the doctor and they’re like “pee in this cup,” I can jiggle my key chain and go no thank you!

Cause the doctors always think you’re pregnant. I get that it’s probably a big lawsuit thing, but no matter what you’re at the doctor for — you’re peeing in that cup. I could have my arm ripped off and be holding it in my other arm and they’d want to make sure I wasn’t pregnant. When I had my gallbladder out, I couldn’t pee because they hadn’t let me have fluids for 24 hours (thank GOD they’re updating those rules) and the doctor got mad and asked the nurses why I wasn’t ready. “She can’t pee.” So they did a cath FOR A PREGNANCY TEST. Give me the keychain. Hell, use the cute red hearts like the rabies tags.

‘Cause any ailment on a female is because they’re pregnant or fat. Both of these things must be ruled out before you are considered for any treatments. Who gives a fuck if you’re dying. Have you considered losing weight? ALL the doctors ask that. “Have you considered losing weight?” Like no, that never occurred to me, actually, why do you bring it up? My dermatologist asked this Friday and I was like “I used to be 400lbs.” And he was stunned. Then I was like “I’ve lost 15lbs in the last year.” So then he shut up. But man if it isn’t always babies or you’re just fat.

Oh and while we’re handing out official medical tags (not those bracelets you can lie on cause you buy them yourself — I want official issued tags), I want a “high pain tolerance” one. Like I’ve decided for minor shit, I’m probably going to go to urgent care rather than my real doctor. We have a doctor shortage right now, so all the doctors are swamped. And the urgent care isn’t bad. But if something hurts, I gotta see my doc. ‘Cause he’s treated me for 20 years and he knows if I say it hurts, I aint lying. He’s seen me in states where he’s like “I don’t know how you’re just walking around right now.” New doctors think you want pain meds if you say it hurts. And I’m like listen, you don’t have to give me pain meds, I’m telling you it hurts because it motherfucking hurts and I feel this is vital to your diagnosis.

So yes, I’d like an official “fixed” tag (which should also net me discounts like it does for pets) and a “high pain tolerance” tag, please. Thank you.

Louie: The first 24 hours

Posted on March 31, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments

First: The new cat’s name is Louie. Or Lou. Or Louie Lou. I left work early Thursday to pick him up at 3:30 and bring him home. I was so insanely anxious about how it was going to go. Would he just hide for months? Would he pee on the couch? AHHH. All was for naught. This is the most chill cat ever.

So I brought him home intending to keep him closed off to the area with his litterbox by way of a large cardboard wall. This worked for a little while because he was mostly just interested in eating and me petting him. Louie loves pets. However, he started looking at things, getting pets, looking more, getting pets. Eventually he hopped up on the bathroom sink. I knew it was about to be over when he made that leap.

That pedestal sink is pretty tall. It was so cute watching him pace back and forth processing the advanced mathematics of how high he’d have to jump to make it. He was very pleased with himself. So then he jumped over the cardboard wall. Fine, whatever. He had no desire to run and hide. He was a bit scared when Mr C came downstairs. However, I picked him up like a baby and carried him over to show that Mr C is nothing to fear. He was fine with this. In fact, he threw himself at Mr C’s feet showing his belly and begging for pets. Alas, Mr C doesn’t really pet animals.

Louie doesn’t respect boundaries though. So when Mr C came down in the evening to lay on the couch and talk — Louie climbed right on top and fell asleep on his chest. Mr C still has not touched the cat with his hands. Louie don’t give a fuck. I also like how Louie wants to get up in your face. He doesn’t just want to sit in your lap, he wants to rub his cheeks on your glasses. As his foster mom said, he kind likes to play by himself. Not so much a fan of the wand toys. But throw him a mouse or roll a ball and he’s all about it. He’ll run across the room and randomly attack a toy (Like Jack’s favorite banana).

I decided to keep him limited to the downstairs until we were/are sure of his litterbox manners. So I slept on the couch. I was sad that he didn’t sit in my lap in the evening (he chose to snooze under the coffee table). He wasn’t keen on me forcing him to snuggle on the couch either. However, every time I woke up and looked around or shifted positions, he was at my feet on the couch. Then this morning I woke up to this blessed moment:

Oh my god it was so sweet and precious. I used my phone to surf the internet for an hour so I wouldn’t disturb the sweet cheek-to-cheek love (and took this picture). But after and hour I had to pee, so we got up.

First order of business: This cat has BAD gas. Both the foster mom and the owner of cattyshack warned me that he was a gassy boy. But they thought it was just him getting different food when he was at the lounge. However, it turns out that they were feeding him the same food. And I also got that food. But this cats gas is so bad that every time he farts (a lot), I check his butt for diarrhea. And his stools are very soft. Then his stool this morning had blood on it. VET TIME! I scheduled him an appointment for Monday but begged them to call if they had a cancellation this afternoon.

So we snuggled and played until I had to go to the doctor at 11:00. Then I cashed a check and mailed some packages, picked up lunch for the husband and I, and came home. The lovely lady who cleans my house had arrived already. Louie loved her! When she was walking up the stairs, he ran ahead of her and plopped down, belly up for pets. This is a thing he does. Louie wants the love of everyone. He has learned that humans can’t resist a cat belly. He uses this to his advantage. She said he wasn’t even that scared of the vacuum! And of course she paused to pet him lots while she cleaned. Then we found out the vet could see him at 4:30! Wonderful!

So at 4:00, I packed him in his new carrier and off we went.

Review for the carrier coming. The foster mom suggested he might like it since he likes to try to sit up in his crate. She was spot on. He just sits up like he’s a little passenger next to me. I hope to get him harness trained so I can open the top and let him stick his head out. We tried the harness today but it was not happening. He just turned into a drunk that couldn’t stand. Funny yet sad.

I hemmed and hawed a lot over what vet to use. Do I used Jack;s vet who were AMAZING or a cat only vet that wouldn’t be so scary? I called the cat only vet today and they didn’t even have a vet in the office today. What? They only do checkups twice a week and they book out “pretty far in advance.” Also, their fee was $17 more. So no, Jacks vet has vets in office every day. And they managed to get me in same day, it turns out. I was worried the massive amount of dog barking would freak him right out. Again, for naught.

Louie has no fucks to give. He literally laid flat out in the middle of the exam room floor. He was also not remotely shy for the vet tech to pet him and carry him off for an anal swab. Sorry, buddy. I heard the screaming.

Even after that, he chilled back out pretty quickly. When the vet picked him up like a normal cat, I told her he preferred to be held like a baby, so she flipped him over and he was happy as a clam. Complete stranger. No fucks to give. Should have named him honey badger.

So he looks really healthy! He’s been prescribed prebiotics for the loose stools and some more dewormer for funsies. They gave him the dewormer (which is oddly enough, banana flavored) and he ate that shit up. Then he threw it up. They suspect that’s because his stomach was empty. Why was his stomach empty? Because I put out a full days worth of food out this morning and the little vacuum inhaled it all!

Anyway, they don’t want to give him medicine AND change his food because that’s too many variables. So they’ll call next week to check in and see how things are going. If he’s still a gas bomb, we might try a new food. So yeah, good visit. When we were checking out he was just chillin’ in his bag and the vet tech was talking to him and I was like “you can pet him. seriously, he loves everyone.” So she opened it up and loved on him some. He eats attention UP. Total attention whore.

I got him back in the car and just marveled at how insanely chill this cat is. So fuck it, I took him into Publix. Yes, I did. My Publix was out of keto cookies, OK? It was a quick in and out.

Fucker didn’t make a PEEP while we were in there. I think he actually liked it! I will definitely have to take him out for a walk with the backpack and see if he likes it.

So this evening he’s actually just been snoozing in my lap! We’re about to go to bed. BED BED. He hasn’t been in the bedroom yet. I’m tempted to sleep on the couch again for some more cheek-to-cheek love because BE-STILL-MY-HEART! But I’m hoping he’ll come snuggle in bed. We do have the cat stairs he can use to hop on the bed.

So off I go! I’m going to be nice and give him food because he hasn’t eaten since this morning. But from here out we’re measuring it out into two feedings! 1/3 a cup twice a day for this 9lb booger. I thought he was fat, so did the vet tech — but the vet said this weight looks good on him. So to just follow the instructions for his current weight. Oh and after he gets a bit of food, I’m gonna give him his banana dewormer again. I hope he doesn’t throw it up. We’ll start the prebiotic with breakfast tomorrow.

Yall, I’m so glad I got this cat. He’s like a OD of prozac for me (well, prozac didn’t actually work for me, but it’s a turn of phrase, OK?). And he’s so fucking chill. No fucks to give. I wish I was 5% as chill as this cat. I love him. K’s gonna come see him tomorrow!

New Kitty comes home tomorrow!

Posted on March 29, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

My new cat comes home tomorrow! This week is my off Friday so I’ll have a three day weekend to hang out with him before leaving him home while I go to work. I went through the cat stuff and threw away the ratty stuff and added a few new things. Replaced the cat wands. His harness is here and his collar with my embroidered phone number has already been ordered. His new cat carrier is set up. It’s inconspicuously open as a possible bed place he might just stumble upon. You know… not a carrier… just a cat bed…

I bleached the litter boxes and the litter closet. They aired out and it’s now spotless and ready for cat poops. I have, like, 100lbs of cat litter. I’ve got food and treats in the cookie jar. I took a long delivery box and cut some holes in it and shoved it behind Sir Bastian if he feels like he needs somewhere to hide away. I have a new cat tree on order that has two hidey holes, but it wont be here in time. I’ve got catnip licks to stick to it when I get it set up. And his cat acne stuff is getting here tomorrow. I just need to move the peace lily somewhere and put food in his dish!

It’s been so long since I got a new pet that I have no idea how he’s going to react. No idea at all. Will he be all affectionate because he’s lonely or will he hide for two weeks? Who knows! We’re going to shut off the upstairs (carpeted) bedrooms until I know he’s got good litterbox manners. But don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the couch so he’s not all alone in a new place.

I still don’t know his name. Should we keep Milo? Is he an Oliver/Ollie? Louie/Lou? Finn? Maxwell/Max? Edison/Ed?

I’m looking at gods of dreams. Bes (Egypt), Morpheus (Greek), Somnia (Roman), Manit (Native American), Oooooo I like this one: “Angus is a god of dreams and love, and the Celtic mythology spun around his life and acts is cherished in both Ireland and Scotland.”

Anyway, I didn’t get a name on the collar.

Can’t wait to see him!

New Cat! Yay!

Posted on March 26, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

In my last post, I told yall I was going to meet Rey at the Cattyshack. Well, today I went to meet Rey at the Cattyshack. So Rey was a very active cat. She was not showing her best today. Unfortunately, she wasn’t in a great mood because she’s been at the cat lounge since Thursday. She was all up for playing! She is VERY active She loved playing with the fuzzy worms on the wand. She liked to grab them and try to take them away. Kinda like the opposite of fetch. She was all for running on the cat wheel too. She was pretty awesome. However, she was not all about the pets. I did get to hold her and pet her, but for the most part, she just wanted to do her own thing. I understand that she just wasn’t in the mood.

However, while I was trying my hardest to get Rey’s attention, I got a lot of Milo’s attention. I sat on the couch to coax Rey over, so Milo came over. I gave him some love and put him aside. Rey isn’t a fan of other cats and she wanted to pick a fight today. Then I was sitting on the floor playing with the wand toy. Milo came over and helped himself to my lap. Put Milo aside. Then we were in the other room with the foster mom playing with Rey. Milo came over so I picked him up and he fell asleep on my lap. It was so cute they took a picture and sent it to his foster mom.

She confirmed that yep, that’s pretty much all he does. Again later, I picked him up again while we were talking and he went right to sleep in my arms.

Dude was straight up passed out. It was like someone ODed him on gabapentin. Is this a stoner cat?

So I felt kinda bad, because I came to meet Rey. This was a meet and greet with Rey. But damn, Milo was stealing the show. Rey’s hair was very thick and coarse whereas Milo is silky smooth. So I asked why we ruled out Milo. He was in my original email because this is his website bio:

“Milo is a very sweet boy that deserves a better life than roaming the streets searching for food. He deserves a forever home with lots of love and attention to give. He has never met a stranger and greets everyone as if they’ve been life long friends. He is very docile and would do great in a home with another cat!”

Then the original reply to my email was this (in reference to Milo):

“Milo is very quiet and keeps to himself at the cat lounge. He doesn’t interact with people or other cats much at all, but if they approach him, he is very friendly and purrs. And he will play with the wand toys if he’s presented with one, but if he sees one being played with in the distance, he doesn’t go join in the fun.”

So they thought he was too mellow and wouldn’t fit my needs? They also wanted him to be with a buddy since he is so mellow. So I had them call his foster mom and see what she thought about him being an only cat. She didn’t see a problem with it.

With Rey being so insanely active, I was kinda worried about leaving her at home while I’m at work. Yeah, I’d get her a cat wheel and stuff, but cat wants to play. I feel like Milo would just sleep all day. He’s like an old man cat. So I asked his age. He’s only 1 year and 1 month old. WTF? He has a little bald spot on his chin and some chin acne, but we can clear that up.

So Rey is a shit ton of fun, but I kinda felt like Milo was choosing me. Rey wanted everyone’s attention and wouldn’t sit still. Milo just kept following me around for pets. So um yeah… I’m adopting Milo!

He’s kinda funny looking. His eyes and ears are super pale pink. And his inner eyelid kept lagging because dude wanted to sleep. He also has a very small head. And there’s the chin acne. But dude has the chill personality. I like him. He’s coming home on Thursday. We might change his name. I’m kinda meh on “Milo.” It’s not a name I would have picked.

So he’s fixed and has all his vaccines and stuff. He’s even microchipped already. I’m thinking when I have a spare off Friday (that’ll be like a month away at least), I should take him to the vet maybe for a check up? Do I want to use Pet Hospital of Madison — they took care of Jack. They were AMAZING. Or do I want to try a cat only vet like Catisfaction? Also is pet insurance a scam?

Anyway, meet my new cat! Welcome to the family!

Oh and yes, I would LOVE to post on Facebook. But… I’m not sure. My sister2 wanted me to take her cats cause she lives with sister1 who wont let her have the cats. She’s lived with sister1 for like YEARS. Not that sister1 wants her there. She moved in for “a few weeks” when mom was alive and she’s never left. Well, her cats had been at dad’s girlfriends house. Shut away in a single room with no attention at all. For YEARS. And before that, they weren’t great. One had litterbox issues and one didn’t like anyone. So dad’s girlfriend just sold her house.

Yeah. Sister2 tried to get me to take her cats a few times. She even lied and said she only had them because mom “made her get them.” Anyway, I don’t know what happened to them. I assume she just moved them into sister1s house kinda like she did her own ass and life. If that’s the case, sister1 is gonna be fucking pissed that I wouldn’t take them. I mean, to be fair sister1 is always pissed. And of course sister2 will be pissed too. So I’m kinda not telling them. Yet.

It’s kinda sad because I feel like I lost my family. I love my bro and his wife and kids. But his wife never answers when I call. Bro always answers but he’s so busy and not talkative so its kinda hard to have a conversation. I’m not sure if I should just go low contact with sisters. I decided I would after the Christmas debacle, but I feel bad about it. It’s sad. At least I have my husband and friends! And my in laws seem to like me a lot. And now I have a cat!

New Cat?

Posted on March 25, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 1 Comment

Today I bleached the litterboxes and the cat bathroom. I will also admit that there was totally a poop from my cat that died over 6 months ago in the litterbox. I’m sorry.

So why did I finally get off my ass to stop moping about my dead cat and clean litterboxes? (Seriously, you carry two FULL dirty litterboxes out and dump them and bleach them sometime). Well… I’m thinking about getting a new cat. I mean, obviously I want a new cat, but I’ve been getting extremely anxious when I try to think about it. So it’s been upsetting me. So what changed?

I read an article about a cat that was for adoption and he sounded fucking amazing. Apparently, Pakistan doesn’t have cat rescues. So people rescue street cats and send them to other countries to adopt out. This particular cat loved all the people. I want a cat that loves all the people! Turns out he’s in California and they only adopt locally so bummer. Also someone already adopted him. Oh well. But I did reach out to a local cat place (again ’cause they never responded in January). I’m going with a foster org rather than the shelter because I’m looking for a personality type. I have no requirements on looks or age or sex — only that it be a short hair. Listen, Tabitha was a long hair. When a long hair cat has diarrhea and you’re at work for a few hours — well, your house is now a disaster as is your cat. Also, dingleberries. No thank you.

So I hopped over to their page and read some cat bios. I found a few that sounded good and I emailed them. They actually got back to me this time. So I went full crazy cat lady. I’ve emailed these people back and forth like 10 times. I have thoroughly explained that I want the neediest velcro cat you have. So she sent me like 4 that she thought would be good. Two were out because they wanted friend cats. I kinda want to have a single cat. So I narrowed it down to Rey and Aletha. Rey is young, 7 months, and Aletha is a little over 2 years. I asked if Aletha was going to be cool with me going and picking her up all the time to come sit with me or go to bed. They said Rey’s my girl. Here’s some descriptions of her from her bio and emails:

“Rey is a little firecracker of a girl who is as sassy as she is stubborn. She is the first to greet a new person […]. She’s more than happy to be carried around the house on your forearm for long periods of time, or lounge on your chest while watching TV. Long-haired individuals beware, however: Rey has a tendency to climb your shoulder, wait for you to let your guard down, and then relentlessly attempt to remove your hair from your scalp.”

“Rey is a hilarious little rambunctious girl. She likes to ride shoulders and talks, and is very needy. She would require something like a cat wheel and interactive motion-activated toys to keep her mentally stimulated. She is super duper smart. And she is also extremely social. She WILL seek out wand toys whether she’s invited to play or not, and gets a little possessive about it actually. lol. She also has never met a stranger and wants everyone’s attention that walks through the door. I adore the little squiggle on her nose. When I first saw her I thought it was a piece of lint. LOL!”

“I talked to the foster moms, and Rey would 100% be the affectionate, attention seeking cat you need. Her foster mom has carried her in a baby sling, Rey wants “uppies” which is when she wants to be put on your shoulder…lol, and she said she greets her at the door and loves kisses on the face.”

Here is a picture of Rey at the lounge:

Fuuuuuuck. I’m already in love with Rey. I haven’t even met her yet! So I cleaned everything up really well and bought some food and fresh litter. My Amazon cart already has a new carrier and wand toy in it. I picked out the cat wheel I want to get her (they said she LOVES the cat wheel at her foster home AND at the lounge so they really want her to have a cat wheel. I’m waiting until I see her use a damn cat wheel before I commit to order one. I didn’t think cats actually used those.) I’m going to meet her tomorrow.

I haven’t met her yet. Yall, if this cat doesn’t like me I’m gonna be so sad. I’m all anxious about making a good first impression now! Like I’m all this cat is gonna have. Am I enough? Am I worthy of this cat? I’m so nervous!

Also, all over their website and facebook they make explicitly clear that there are absolutely no same-day adoptions. Then she comes at me with an email telling me to submit my application and I can take her home this weekend if we’re a match! WHAT? You said no same day adoptions! I’m not ready! I haven’t met her! I have to clean! What food does she like? I’m not prepared for this! So I’m going to meet her tomorrow (Sunday). If we’re a match, I’ll get her on Thursday or Friday because it’s my 3 day weekend. That way she can get settled before I go off to work all week.

M, this might be your new god-kitty! Oh I hope she likes me.

Review: Belifu Dual Channel TENS EMS Unit

Posted on March 22, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

Yall know I like to post my Amazon reviews here. This is a review I wrote before I had this blog. Why am I posting it? Because I just loaned this thing to K and this review includes instructions to use it. So this review is for (as amazon calls it) the Belifu Dual Channel TENS EMS Unit 24 Modes Muscle Stimulator for Pain Relief Therapy, Electronic Pulse Massager Muscle Massager with 10 Pads, Dust-Proof Drawstring Storage Bag，Fastening Cable Ties. This is from February 2020 when I was still doing physical therapy. I rated this thing 3 out of 5 stars. Here you go:

I’ve been doing physical therapy for headaches and some neck damage after hitting my head in a car accident. After we get done, they always apply heat and TENS for 20 minutes. I wanted to be able to do this at home in hopes of breaking my headaches without pain killers. So ‘a TENS shopping I went.

I quickly learned there are a LOT of affordable TENS devices. At this low price point, the market is saturated. Most websites and videos that rank them are just hidden advertisements. So in my non-professional knowledge I started looking. Here’s a few things I knew I wanted that helped me with my first cut:

– Duel Channel.

– Distinguishable positive and negative terminals (NOTE: this product does not meet this requirement. Read further).

– Powerful. I like my TENS pretty strong. Just below what causes a twitch.

– Great reviews. (I trust Amazon reviews. If you find this helpful, give me a helpful vote).

– Snap connectors rather than line-in. This is 100% personal preference. Snap connectors can easily be connected and disconnected with one hand. They can be disconnected with one finger. This is super helpful, in my opinion, when it’s in a hard to reach location on my back. Also, if you were using it on an arm, I’m assuming it would be almost a must. Also, snap connectors seem to be a little more sturdy, again, in my opinion.

This got me down to two devices. I chose this one because it DOES NOT have a touch screen. Touch screens are sensitive, they break, they crack. Do you really need a touch screen? I decided I did not want that liability.

So here we are. I’ve ordered my TENS device. My thoughts:

PROS:

– The box is a perfect fit for everything. I’m just going to keep it all together in the box.

– Attached cable ties! What? That’s such a thoughtful touch. It shows they thought about how people use this. It’s so convenient. No garbage ties. This keeps all the cables so neat and tidy. Awesome. Thumbs up, for that, guys.

– Very small. I like small. However if you have crappy near vision, this might not be best for you. For me, it’s a pro.

– The included pads each have their own protective plastic sheet. I love this over having multiple pads on one sheet. It’s super space saving too.

– The included pads are in little zip bags grouped by two. I like this. To me, it shows -again- that they thought of how people will use this. You generally use the pads in pairs. These are grouped into pairs and easy to grab from the box or bag. You can also label the baggy to show which have been used. If you had multiple users, you could have the baggy labeled with their name.

– Manual has great descriptions of all 24 modes.

– Strong current. I find that around 60% is enough to cause slight muscle twitches. This means I, personally, will not ever go above that. I don’t like it that high.

– No wasted buttons.

– Duel channel.

– Can use up to 6 pads at once.

– Snap connectors (See above for why I prefer these).

CONS:

– I wish they sold a case for it. I’ll use the box, but I’m not going to just toss this all in the included bag. That’s messy.

– The product photos show color coded terminals. I assumed this would tell me the polarity of the terminals. It does not. I’ll have to borrow a voltmeter to figure this out and mark it with a sharpie.

– Only one of my wires is even color coded. On the two individual wires, both terminals are white. So not only do I not know the polarity at all, now I can’t even make sure I’m mirroring the polarity when I use the pads. SERIOUS downfall. I’m getting around this by using the double wire and will eventually use a voltmeter to mark them. If the double wire wasn’t color coded, I’d have sent this back immediately. I feel like the product photos are a lie because of this.

– No setting for constant intensity. Setting 3 : 3 does a good job of mimicking the sensation I use at physical therapy. However, it fades in and out in intensity like a wave. I would like it to be one constant intensity like I use in physical therapy. In 24 settings, not one single one uses constant intensity.

– Can only increase time in 10 minute increments.

– Can only increase timer. Cannot lower timer if you went over.

USAGE:

It’s not extremely user friendly or intuitive on how to select individual modes. I’m an engineer so it’s no trouble, but if the clock is never set correctly on your microwave, get ready. Since the manual didn’t seem well written for this, here’s how to use it:

1) Put the pads on so you can feel what you’re adjusting.

(Don’t stress about picking the mode here. Once you do it once, you’re probably just going to use that same mode every time. You got this)

2) Select MAIN MODE using side to side arrows. There are 6 types of massage aka “main modes.” Use the side to side buttons to select the type you want. I’m a fan of number three. You probably can’t feel anything because when you switch modes, it automatically turns the intensity down to nothing. So use the up and down arrows on the side of the device you are using (the side you plugged in) to feel the sensations.

3) Select Setting/Sub Mode using the ‘M’ button. Within each of the 6 main modes, there are 4 settings. The manual actually does a great job of telling you what each setting is and what it is good for. I’m a fan of 3: 3. This is “Tapping (TENS)”. The manual tells me this produces a “hard thumping sensation that massage your muscles, which can give you an invigorated and revitalized feeling.” Keep hitting the ‘M’ button until you get to the number of the sub mode you want. Again, it automatically turns the intensity down to nothing when you change modes, So use the up and down arrows on the side of the device you are using (the side you plugged in) to feel the sensations.

(Now you know what mode you like. So next time you turn it on, it will be easy. I like 3 : 3, for instance. So when I turn it on, I arrow over to the 3 Mode. Then I hit ‘M’ twice to change from sub 1, to sub 2, to sub 3. Easy peasy).

4) Adjust the intensity with the up and down arrows. If you’re using both A and B, you’ll have to do this on both sides.

5) Optional: Adjust timer. Hit the ‘T’ button to add 10 minutes to the current timer setting.

NOTE: The center round button starts and stops the pulses.

MY PERSONAL SAFETY SUGGESTIONS:

– Don’t move around a lot while the TENS device is active. Get yourself comfortable and settled before turning on the pulses. You can use the pause button (center circle) to pause sensations if you wanna move around to get more comfortable.

– Don’t plug in the wires if it’s not active. I have to have my husband place these pads on me. So I go get him to hook me up and then I go lay down, get comfortable, and ONLY THEN do I plug the wire into the device.

New Employee Swag

Posted on March 13, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

OK, look at this precious super tiny desk kit I got today!

Why would you ever need such a tiny little desk kit? Do you SEE those staple refills? And you’re never going to find that super tiny tape refill again. It’s like an emergency sewing kit … but for secretarial emergencies? It’s stupid as fuck and yet I LOVE IT.

This week, I’m stuck in two different sets of new employee courses. One for my immediate company (well, not even — the one above my immediate company) in the afternoon. And in the morning it’s the division above THAT company. So in the morning we got swag! I love getting free swag! And I gotta say, doll size desk supplies is a whole new thing to be branding. They’ll stick a company logo on anything! We got a little box of stuff. A camping bottle (the non-insulated kind you can throw in the fire), some automatic pencils, pens, little branded sticky notes, a nice notebook (graph paper too, excellent choice), and this tiny desk kit.

I wanted to get out all my various job water bottles through the years but was distraught to find — or actually, NOT find my BAE one. That was a nice one! I can’t find it anywhere. I have a Logicore mug, a KRS bottle (two of those, actually), and I should have a BAE one. Dammit. We also have one from husbands company. Oh well. I also can’t believe I never got a Boecore bottle. I have Boecore everything else — bags, beanie hat/toboggan, stress ball, lanyards, enamel pin, shirt, jacket, cheap sunglasses.. can’t ever remember getting a bottle though. Weird.

The best swag I ever got was a full on quality beach towel from DRS. DRS was even monogrammed on it. That was a nice piece of swag. Of course they laid me off so fuck them, I used it to clean up a mess and threw it away. It was quality swag though.

Bottles seem to be the big thing. Which makes sense, they are useful. I miss stress balls/toys. I need more stress toys. I have a few. A Boecore golf ball, a blue ethics dude that might be a phone holder, an astronaut I stole from a coworker back at NG. I’m going to go to the NASA store tomorrow — maybe they’ll have a stress ball!

Grocery Store Questions.

Posted on March 12, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | 2 Comments

First question: Bananas. Why are bananas so fucking cheap? I get onto my husband when he lets bananas spoil. I did this the other day and he apologized and said he shouldn’t have put them on the grocery list. Then, I obviously felt bad, and pointed out that bananas are fucking cheap and I’m the one who let a whole two containers of strawberries spoil which are not cheap.

OK, so I get why other produce is expensive. So the comparison isn’t most of the question. The questions is — how are these bananas so fucking cheap? We don’t even grow these thing here! The strawberries are coming from inside the house — the bananas sure aint! And there are a SHIT TON of bananas everywhere too! Is that why they’re cheap? Is it child labor? Slavery? What about the fuel to get them over here? And they spoil and bruise so easily too — these things should cost a lot of money! What’s the deal?

Second question: toothpaste. I needed toothpaste. Apparently, they don’t sell Aquafresh at Publix anymore. This is horrible. I’ve used that toothpaste forever. But I’m not about to start making special trips for toothpaste so I accept my fate. There were three brands. Sensodyne, Colgate, and Crest. And like twenty kinds of each brand. Why do we need a whole wall of toothpaste? This is insane.

I went with sensodyne because I do have sensitive teeth. OK, narrowed it down to 20. My teeth are very yellow so how about one of the whitening ones? So I grab one and it doesn’t say what flavor it is or list anything in the ingredients indicating such. You might think they all taste the same, but they DON’T. I used mom’s baking soda toothpaste once and it tasted like death! Oh, they had Arm & Hammer as a brand too but that was right out, obviously. So the only one of the 20 synsodynes that mentioned flavor was “fresh mint.” So I grab it an compare the ingredients to the whitening one. Same damn ingredients. In fact, 1% more of the active ingredient in the mint one! Is this all a scam? These are all the same toothpastes, aren’t they?

I need to research both of these topics but I don’t want to right this second. Thank you for your time

Black Hole

Posted on March 11, 2023 | by cursingcats.com | Leave a Comment

I still miss Jack more than anything. You see all these bittersweet comics like this one where your pet is still with you:

But they’re not. They’re gone. I WISH I could imagine he was still around. I would love to see movement in the corner of my eye and think it was him. Or feel a ruffle on the bed and think it was him. I don’t get that though. I haven’t got that at all. I would absolutely love to be the bat shit crazy cat lady that thinks her dead cat is still around. I wanna be that crazy person.

It would be so much better than the emptiness. Just the void. Today I left a hamburger bun on the counter and had the reflex that Jack might get it. But before I even finished the thought I just was filled with the emptiness that no, he won’t.